Dark Forest
By
Anarithilien
Part
II: In Realms Beyond
Chapter
Twenty-Seven: Seduction
Thranduil sought out Annatar the next day, confused and lost. He was doing as Galadriel had requested. Or was he? A part of him pursued because he wanted it and he told himself he would do so whether she had asked it of him or not. But another part of him knew he did this to please her, because he did not know where his loyalty was, because he needed someone to believe in. And if not her, then who?
It did not take long to locate the inn where Annatar was staying; Thranduil chose from the handful of quality establishments in the city and found the man at the second he looked to.
Although he could predict the type of accommodations the man would choose, he did not expect to find Annatar with quite such a following. As he came to the rooms, he heard sounds of activity and merriment from within, and for a moment Thranduil considered turning away. He was not prepared to meet the man among a full contingent of devotees. Yet he pushed on, knocking at the door lightly, verily uncertain of himself, but knocking all the same.
Annatar, not another, answered the rap, and this too surprised the elf. Though the man met his eyes and smiled to see Thranduil, the elf couldn't help but gaze at the room beyond to wonder that a servant had not come forward instead. He saw that fellows of all kinds surrounded the man. Elves, men, women, even dwarves were crammed into the suite of rooms. It was a scene of great amusement with music and laughter coming from all sides.
A hand clutched him beneath the arm and he was pressed into an embrace. Annatar laughed softly into his ear, the strength of his arms comforting about Thranduil, "I am glad you are here," the man said, his breath tickling the back of the elf's neck.
And then he was released but pulled into the room before he knew it. "I --" he began, but truly he did not know what he meant to say.
"You came," Annatar said, beaming. "I had hoped you would." He turned away and Thranduil realized he didn't need to offer his reasons for coming to the man. "Let me introduce you around."
Thranduil was led around the room, and though he knew none in the place at that time, Annatar seemed intimate with them all. The elf felt a small bit of wariness and jealousy for the man's popularity. Yet he stayed, quietly taking a place among the commotion.
After an hour or so of this, Thranduil began to wonder if he should even be there. This was not what he had expected to find in meeting the man, and he had yet to have a moment of Annatar's time.
As if reading these thoughts, one of the more boisterous men in the room jumped to his feet and said, "Refreshments! Let us take this to the ale house downstairs." And with that many others echoed the sentiment.
Annatar replied, "Nay, not I. Go without me and make up for my absence. Perhaps I will join you later."
Thranduil began to rise, exiting with everyone else, for he felt Annatar's excuse one that kindly asked for peace. He was wrong. Again Annatar hooked him about the arm and whispered into his ear, "Nay, not you, my friend. Stay with me."
And so he did.
When the room was cleared he smiled once again, and it occurred to Thranduil that the man smiled a great deal. It was one of his most beautiful features. "What brings you to me, Thranduil?" the man asked with disarming charm. Thranduil almost did not notice this was the question he had dreaded upon meeting up again.and thus he did not hesitate in his answer.
"You have seen through me. You spoke of my age as if it were apparent, and then you told me you realized it because of my knowledge. I would have you teach me these things the lord and lady do not. Finery and weapons and jewelcraft, as you say. Even if they do not put high credence to these things, I think I do."
Annatar laughed as he lowered his well-formed frame into a chair. There was nothing assuming in the way he did this as he then he grew somber, nodding his approval. "You see the need for these things and I am sure your father will too when you return to him in a few years."
It would be many years later before Thranduil would even think to wonder that Annatar might know he was only temporarily removed from his father's realm. He did not think on it as he said, "When might we begin?"
"We already do, for I see you have removed the tawdry stones from your hands," Annatar said though his eyes did not stray from Thranduil.
But that was the way of Annatar. He would come to learn that the man said and did many things that made it clear he knew more than what he spoke while making those around him feel at ease. They never questioned how he knew any of what he did and neither did Thranduil.
xxxxxxx
Their play was innocent and jovial though Thranduil felt he was an inept pupil.
"Between these three gems, which would be the one most desired?"
Thranduil thought to say the one that enchanted its would-be possessor the most, but he knew that was not the correct answer.
"The blue one?" he guessed.
Annatar shook his head but smiled. "You really have no talent for this," he laughed. As many times as they had done this, he never seemed to grow weary of his slow student. He looked the elf in the eye and prompted, "Remember what I was saying about a stone's clarity...?"
"The gold one!" Thranduil exclaimed now pointing at the stone that met this description.
"Correct," said the man, but then he let a new stone fall from his bag onto the piece of black cloth. It was far smaller in size and had no color at all. "Yet were you to choose between these two, which would have the greater value?"
Thranduil's brows drew together as he studied the two stones. He personally preferred the stone of color more, but he guessed the white stone to be the better quality, despite its size, simply because it seemed the kind of question Annatar would use to try to fool him. Knowing that the next question would be one where his reason was validated, Thranduil struggled.
"The white one," he drawled, his answer rife with uncertainty.
And just as he knew it would come, "Why?"
"Because it... is the harder of the two and shows more clarity?"
Annatar picked up the amber gem yet again. "This one is the more valuable."
"But..." Thranduil began to protest.
"It is nearly the size of a robin's egg compared to that little speck!" he pointed at the white stone. "Could you not guess it's worth based upon that?"
Thranduil shook his head. "I will never learn this."
But Annatar clapped him on the back and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Nonsense! I have yet to fail a student. Besides, you now know the difference between silk and satin and quality threadwork versus cheap embroidery. It is progress. Let us go out and celebrate what you do know."
Thranduil ceded, but he hung his head as he companionably lamented, "And it has only taken me a month to progress this far."
The man nudged him as they started packed up the materials and stones. "What is your rush, penneth?" he teased.
Thranduil smiled. He realized there was none.
xxxxxxxx
"What do you mean you know nothing else?" Galadriel asked. She was beautiful in the warm morning light of her sitting room, but her gaze was cold. It had been months and months that he had been coming to her like this, having only little to report. More and more of late she looked at him this way, as if he was not worthy her gaze. He could not help but feel that he disappointed her and that made his heart ache. At the same time, he could not alter facts. He had reported everything he knew of Annatar and it seemed not enough.
"Our activities have been the same, and our conversations do not vary much. He teaches me, and I attempt to learn," Thranduil replied, his voice almost a plea.
"Does he not question you about the actions of the court? He knows you attend, does he not?"
"He knows but he does not ask me, nor do I volunteer anything of it to him. He seems to respect my position. He asks nothing of me," Thranduil defended but he felt as if he were silently asking forgiveness of her at the same time.
"Does he ask of me?" she asked. She asked this every time and always seemed disappointed when Thranduil delivered the same answer.
"Not a word, Lady."
Her mouth tightened into a straight line but she immediately moved on. "What of introductions?" she asked. "Does he expect anything of you by means of contacts?"
"I have introduced him to everyone you have suggested, But it seems he already knows more people than I do."
"Does he ask you to introduce him to those higher up?" she asked. There was an edge of desperation to her voice.
"He does not."
"He must want something. If he were truly close to you he would confess his plans." She grew silent and her eyes turned away. She said no words, but in his mind Thranduil felt he could supply the reprimand she might offer were she to speak."I do not think you try hard enough to know his thoughts. Were you closer..."
Thranduil closed his eyes. He had disappointed her; it was the last thing he wanted. He gazed up as she sank disconsolately into a chair, and the urge to aid her took over as he took steps to her side. "Forgive me," he begged, reaching out for her hands as he dropped to his knees before her.
From eyes dipped to the ground, her gaze shifted, and she looked at him. A timid smile slowly whispered over her lips and her eyes grew tender and knowing. Gentle fingers brushed his cheek and Thranduil felt his face burn as she looked upon him. He did not pull away, holding her to him though he felt unworthy of her attention. Still, he desired only to please her, and so he whispered, "I shall try harder."
And he meant it. Though coming into this meeting he had doubted her mission and stood wholly on his friendship with Annatar, now he wanted only to fulfill the goals she set, even if he could not conceive a means to achieve them.
"Do you love me, Thranduil?" she asked and the elf's heart leapt.
Of course he loved her! He had loved her from the firstmoment he had set eyes on her. In knowing her, he could not help but feel this even deeper, even greater, for she was always kind to him, always a champion to his failings. Yet he had no means of answering the question for nothing he might say would make it come out the way he felt it. "My lady," he whispered and he could feel his cheeks flush.
"Nay, you need not answer. I see your heart," she said, and her voice was now as serene as her smile was gentle. She clutched his hand as she rose, and he began to riseas well yet she pressed him back to his kneeling stance.
Thranduil dipped his gaze, not sure what her intent was. She released his hands and came to stand behind him. "You are a gentle soul, Thranduil. I ask things of you that go beyond your nature though shadow does exist within you."
"My lady?" he questioned not knowing what she was implying. He could not see her face any longer, and knowing her gestures and expressions had always been a clear means of understanding what she requested of him.
"Do you recall what I asked of you when we first met to discuss Annatar?"
His face was still flushed as he started to turn his head so that he might see her. Looking at her would tell him if what he guessed she wanted was correct. But she would not allow his gaze. Her hands came to either side of his face and without force she turned him to look forward. Again stammering, he replied, "You-- you said I should seduce him."
"I should not have said such a thing to you. It was a poor means of expressing what I wanted of you."
He was still confused. "If it was not what you meant to say, what indeed is it you wish?"
He sensed that she had stepped away though her footsteps were silent. It was when her voice reached him from across the room that he knew he had been correct. Still, it startled him to hear her voice so far away. "There is no other word for what I mean. I suppose I wish that you might find means to fulfill this request without sacrificing something of yourself and giving up that which is not in your nature."
His brow crushed with the confusion that filled his mind. "I-- I do not understand," for truly he did not.
She was suddenly behind him again, now kneeling, and he gasped as her hands came again upon his cheeks, her face very near. He could feel her breath upon his ear. "You must look into yourself and see what it is you find appropriate."
"I know not what else I might--" he protested, but she stopped him with her own words.
Her breath was hot in his ear. "You doknow. You know, just the same as I know my name is what you utter on the cusp of your dreams."
He gasped, feeling exposed by the utterance of this most secret truth. She knew, and he bowed his head in shame. He was mortified that she realized how he spent his private hours when sleep would not capture him. And this utterance suggested more of him than he had ever thought to reveal. She knew what he was capable of and she knew how great his desires could be. She was telling him to use this as impetus in his actions. She was telling him he had it in him to do what she wanted of him. She had not said it, but he knew what she expected of him.
She stood, her hand now on his shoulder, and he felt the warmth of her skin beneath his robes. She said nothing else, only letting her hand linger for a moment. And then she stepped away, parting the room, and he was left, panting and desperate.
His heart beat a loud tattoo in his chest while his throat constricted tightly. He found it hard to speak.
xxxxxxxx
"Come, my friend," Annatar greeted him at the door upon their next meeting. The man reached forward, putting a hand around Thranduil's shoulder drawing him into the room. The contact made the elf shiver.
"What is it?" the man asked, noticing the elf's anxiety but Thranduil found he had no words to answer.
He turned to face his friend, trying to draw upon all the thoughts that had fortified him in his preparations to come. Annatar was attractive enough, but now that he stood before him, Thranduil found it almost impossible to put those physical traits toward something that might arouse his dark side. She had said he had a shadow-self, but it was not surfacing at this moment.
"Thranduil?" the golden man asked, and the elf emitted a queer-sounding gasp. Annatar gazed at him with those startling eyes and for a brief second the elf froze, lost in the depths of them.
There was beauty here, and the want did exist, albeit only brought to mind by the suggestion she had put to him, but he knew it was within him to do this if he so chose. He reached up and brushed the back of his hand to the man's cheek. The gesture spoke his thoughts and Annatar's face grew sober, realizing the meaning of Thranduil's actions.
"You do not mean it," the man said, but he did not push the hand away. Instead he allowed Thranduil to run his thumb over his lips. The elf's breath broke out in a shaky rasp as his touch progressed though he still did not speak.
Annatar reached up and he caught the elf's hand in his own. His flesh was warm and, where Thranduil was quaking in general fear, he was steady. "You do not mean it," he repeated.
And yet something in Thranduil was urging him on. He had not been rebuffed, and he took courage in that. Annatar was a handsome man, and his earlier imaginings started to play upon his mind as the man's features softened even more. If he were to do this, it would be best if he hesitated no further.
One hand already held by Annatar, Thranduil quickly reached again for the man, looping his other arm around the man's neck. Without preamble or argument to come, he pulled Annatar to him, pressing his lips to the other, taking without asking.
It was a heated gesture, and he almost found himself caught in it, wanting. Such was the way with elves. His emotions could get the better of him and he could find the passion within. That is what she had meant after all. And he could have seen it through; he could have completed the exercise. If only Annatar had not resisted.
Thranduil was pushed away with an angry shove. Annatar raised his hand as if to strike, and where the gaze had been one of curious allure a moment before, it now was of breathless fury.
Knowing he would be pummeled with the fists of an enraged man if he did not back away, Thranduil raised his own hands in supplication and surrender. "Nay, please," he pled.
"You do not mean it!" the man shouted. And then in a surprise move, he pulled Thranduil to him in a violent imitation of the elf's awkward advance. Thranduil's one hand, held tightly at the wrist, was gripped in a pinching constraint. Annatar's other hand pressed Thranduil's head forward, and the elf was forced into an open-mouthed kiss that felt more like he was being consumed than plied. It was unexpected and it hurt and Thranduil was struck by a sudden wave of panic and the need for flight. He reacted without thinking, striking out. He fought his trapped hand away and used the other to cuff the man's face from his. He did not consider his actions, but they were effective. Annatar took a step away, blood suddenly appearing at the corner of his mouth.
The elf was at a complete loss for what to say or think. He trembled and stared while the man wiped the smear with the back of his hand. He looked down on the blood, shaking his head while Thranduil emptily murmured, "I am sorry. I am sorry." The words slipped from his lips and the utterance of them seemed foreign and distant to his mind.
And then the man broke into a humorless chuckle. "Who put you up to this?" he asked. He gazed up, but there was no mirth in his eyes.
"I ,,, No one," he lied. "I wanted --"
"Not true!" Annatar cut him off. "You have never looked at me like that before! I know you well enough and you do not long for my likes. I know who you desire, and it is not --" He stopped, sudden understanding washing over his features. "She did this."
"No," Thranduil denied, but the lie was feeble.
But the man ignored him. "She did it." And then Annatar stared at him, disbelief warring with his features. "Did she do all of this? Did she mastermind our friendship?'
"Nay, I wanted it!" Thranduil protested. "It was all my doing." The lie was little better than before and he withered under Annatar's gaze.
"You have never done this before," the man said, and it was a question though the comment was flat. It could have hurt to be assessed in such a way, but Annatar seemed to regard him with compassion, perhaps even pity. "You have never loved before, have you?"
"I have not," the elf confessed, knowing he was admitting his youth and inexperience once more. It might have shamed him to say as much before but, now, under these circumstances, he did not think his friend would use what he revealed against him.
Annatar's face crumbled in despair. "Ai, Thranduil!" He reached out to caress the elf's cheek in a gesture of concern and deep compassion. "Tell me what has happened. I need to know."
"There is nothing I can say," the elf replied, suddenly fearful of repeating his conversations with the queen for fear of the wrath they would unveil.
"If our friendship means anything to you, you will tell me," the man said, and his expression was needful and hurting.
"I did not mean for it to be like this," the elf blurted. "Truly did I wish to know you."
"Tell me," the man repeated, and Thranduil found himself divulging everything that had been orchestrated in the last many months. The words fell out of him, and vaguely he realized what he was doing was tantamount to treason. Yet it was as if he had no will of his own and in the end he was glad to be free of the guilt that had been hanging over him. He had not realized what a burden it was.
And then he got to the most recent meeting.
"She wanted you to do WHAT?!"
Thranduil had not meant to confess the words and what came after, for these were the most of his confused feelings, but Annatar had somehow pulled the unspoken truth from him.
"She never actually said it," Thranduil defended.
"Nay, not said, but certainly implied! How could she?" The man was incensed. "She does not realize that all I want is to make agreements between our realms! I do not sell! I forge relationships where others might sell. Yet she thinks I am out for some personal gain!"
"I may have misunderstood," the elf again argued. He did not want Annatar to say dark things against Galadriel.
"You are not a fool, Thranduil, and you did not misinterpret her intent. She made it very clear what she wanted of you, and what is worse is the insidious way in which she manipulated you to get it... courtly love... coy flirtations..." Annatar was pacing as he said this, and the elf could not recall seeing him so impassioned. "I had heard -- had heard that she played her would-be suitors this way, but I never believed it true!"
The elf knew his face burned bright red, and he felt such shame for his actions. He had been manipulated. He had been coerced to do something that was not within him. Were he a youngling he might be compelled to cry his shame. Instead all he wanted to do was flee so Annatar would see no more of his humiliation. "I -- I should leave, I think." And then he turned to go.
A gentle hand held him back. "No..." The man turned him face to face. "This is my fault. I am sorry! You should not be made to feel ... It is a mistake, what she has done."
Thranduil shook his head. "How can you claim this your fault?"
Annatar shrugged, not meeting his eyes. But he said, "Were I the make of normal men she might not have perceived my vulnerability. Yet she knows me well enough to recognize I would be -- I am -- attracted to you, Thranduil."
The elf knew his eyes widened and he found he could not breathe. He was not sure what he felt at that moment, but it was indeed surprise. Surprise... and a sudden sense of betrayal.
She knew! She knew this! And she had used Thranduil with this knowledge!
Boiling rage filled him. He had been used! Used in such a way as to be an expendable toy. She had no real concern for him, setting him off on a mission of seduction. He was bait to her trap and still he did not understand her reasoning.
The pain in his heart bowed him and he felt weakness consume him. He stumbled where he stood and he found Annatar guiding him to a seat. The man was murmuring apologies, yet Thranduil barely heard them. "It is my fault for lingering, for pursuing you in friendship. I should not -- I have made you vulnerable to her goals and her drive."
A glass was put into his hands and he sipped without thinking. The taste was strange and he put the glass down, not wanting it. The man was still speaking but only scattered words were registering in his mind. "... would never have pursued... know your love ... a paid harlot for this task, not you ..." And all the while, his head was spinning with the knowledge that he had been used.
He closed his eyes, trying to draw breath into his constricted chest. He realized he was breathing in short gasps of air, and he brought his attention around to try to correct this. Yet the thought of her touch lingered in his mind, only now instead of teasing him with unspoken promises it burned his heart, his mind and his thoughts. He felt fury toward her for exploiting his innocence.
And then Annatar's words broke into his thoughts. "It is something you never should have had to see of her. It is I who should leave."
The assertion frightened Thranduil worse than his own shame. "No!" he exclaimed, suddenly reaching out to grab the man's wrist as if he were to disappear from his sight in this instance.
"She is right in one thing, Thranduil. I do have intentions here, though my goals are not those that she thinks. I have desire to make something... something wonderful. A gift that will benefit all peoples of this Middle-earth," Annatar said. His eyes shone with a new brightness as he said this. Kneeling down to the elf's level, their eyes met and he said, "But I think I will have to do this elsewhere. I am not wanted here."
"Not true! I do not want you to go!" he exclaimed. "I am sorry I even spoke of it, but more so I am sorry you should think to go. I would not have it of you. Please, you are my friend!"
The man dropped his head, sighing heavily as he seemed to digest all that had been said. And then he lifted his head though he did not look at the elf. "It would make more sense if I were to leave. Your position is important and my friendship jeopardizes all you have worked for."
Thranduilstudied the man's face, tears filling his eyes though he was unsure why they were there. "Your friendship means more to me than any of her promises." And though he had not really thought this through before saying it, he knew he truly felt it. Galadriel would never be more to him than what she was now, even if he were to somehow succeed in getting the information she sought.
"We will not speak of her again," Annatar stated, and Thranduil knew this was a pact.
"Agreed," he said, realizing again the glass was being placed in his hands
"And there will be no consideration put toward seduction," the man added.
Thranduil swallowed the wine. It was already clear it was not in his nature to desire the man in this way, yet something clenched inside him to put words to such a promise. He truly did not feel anything sexual toward the man, but something of his curiosity had been sparked in their very short encounter. He wondered at the touch of the man's skin, and he desired to meet his lips in something gentler. It was a fleeting thought, and yet he spoke. "Might we...?" he started.
The man turned his gaze upon the elf, and there was sudden sadness in his eyes. He reached out and touched a loose tendril of Thranduil's hair, but then he smiled as he always did, and pulled his hand away. "Nay. It is not to be."
Thranduil could not say he was hurt by this. It was as if the idea had been just a whim, never more than that, and he brushed the thought away like he might shoo a moth away from a light.
"Besides," Annatar said, "we have lessons to learn, and I think it time we put them on a faster course."
Thranduil's brow furrowed with confusion. "I have learned at the only pace I know how."
Annatar shook his head as he came again to stand. He put out his hand to help Thranduil to rise as well. "Nay, I think not. Once she learns that you do not bend to her, she will seek to send you away... back to your father, I think. We must prepare you before that happens."
Thranduil could only laugh. "Prepare me? You make it sound like you have some evilplan in mind for me."
Annatar laughed too. "Nay, evil plans live elsewhere." He pointed his chin away to indicate a point beyond them, but then his expression became sober. "I wonder though..." He gazed thoughtfully at Thranduil as the elf took another sip of the wine. "I had not considered it before, but perhaps when I conceive my gift I might keep you in mind."
It was a vague thought, and the elf's brow narrowed as if to ask more on it.
But the man waved the words away as if he were chasing away a whisper of smoke and resumed where he had been. "I only want to make you ready to serve your father best, as we have been working toward."
Thranduil laughed then. "And you have a better way to do this that I have not been made privy to? Why have you delayed?"
"Because," Annatar said with a quirk of his head, "I was in no rush before. I had all the time in the world. But now that I know Galadriel pursues me, I find I must push forward with my plans. You will help me?" he asked.
And though this was the first Thranduil had heard of any plans, he did not question them. He was rather uncertain what his friend had in mind, but he did not doubt his faith in the man. Actions were proof, and he knew where his allegiance was. He would not be a victim of innocence again, and he felt the fire once more when he considered the role he had played. Where Galadriel chose to use him, Annatar only wanted to help him. So with his friend's request for aid, he knew he must help. He was true, and unlike those who betrayed him, he could be loyal and trustworthy. Annatar would find no better aide. Thranduil would be faithful to him as they set off to meet their new goals. And realizing his friend waited only for one last thing from him, Thranduil nodded his agreement. It was done.
TBC
