'Hey you.' Jeff said softly stroking her hair as Dixie slowly woke up.
'Hey.' She replied her voice croaky. 'What happened?'
'You passed out after Karl was arrested, so I brought you in here to sleep it off.'
(I was bloody scared again, I had lost count of the amount of times she had frightened me over the last eight months, I swear I had even less hair than I did and that it was turning grey quicker. I watched her with Karl, I heard the police arrest him for what he had done to her, everything happened in such a short space of time, she had broken down, it all had hit her at once.
She came out of Resus, was sick everywhere and collapsed passing out on the floor. I caught her just in time falling to the ground with her in my arms as others looked on. Fletch was the first one who came over to help us, he helped my pick her up and carry her into HDC again. She had been asleep for over an hour, I knew she needed it, she had just had everything thrown at her, I guess it was her bodies way of reacting, to shut down and let her sleep. I sat their stroking her head and hair hoping she would wake up, but scared at the same time, scared of what she was going to say to me, what she was going to do. I knew her going into see Karl was a bad idea, but she wanted to.
I sat there myself thinking about everything that had happened, reliving every argument, every tragedy, every moment of the last eight months, thank God this year was nearly over, all I wanted was for next year to be better, for us to move on. It was going to be hard, I knew that especially as the twins real due date was coming up along with our anniversary, I sat there looking down at Dixie, she was so peaceful, but how long would that last? Was I ready to move on? Could I move on?)
'They arrested him; they have finally got him Jeff.'
'Yeah Babe, they have indeed. You are safe now.' He replied pulling her in for a hug.
'He said some horrible things to me Jeff.'
'I know babe, I can well imagine, but he had been arrested now, we need to start to try and move on.' (I said this just as much for my own benefit as well as for her's. I think if I said it out loud, I might have been able to convince myself that we could move on, well, that I could move on.)
'How can we Jeff? I will have to go to court and testify, listen to them repeat every vile thing he did to me, have to listen to him lie about things, I will have to sit there in front of a load of strangers and answer questions about the rapes, about the attacks, about the twins, Jeff I can't do that.'
'Yes you can babe, you are stronger than that. I will be there with you every step of the way, holding your hand, supporting you in whatever way I can, you know that don't you?'
'I know Jeffrey, I really do.' Dixie whispered, her voice shaking once again with tears.
Jeff decided it was time to change the subject before she cried again; he didn't want that, he wanted to see her smile and laugh, not cry and shout. 'Listen, I think we should go home, order a takeaway and have an early night, we can talk about things in the morning, the Police will be coming to see you anyway to talk about the court case and what will happen next.'
Dixie nodded as she slowly got up and off the bed holding onto Jeff's arm as he led them out of the ED, back to the Ambulance station before heading home.
(For the first time in eight months, the pair of us slept solidly through the night, I don't remember waking up at all and neither did Dixie. It was a significant change for us both, she would usually have nightmares and would jolt the bed every time she moved waking me up, but she didn't that night. Maybe she had the closure she needed, maybe we could move on. I had been forewarned by the Police that they would want to talk about the case with Dixie again and give us a court date. It was going to be another tough morning, but it got off to a very positive start).
Jeff stirred from his sleep turning over to snuggle into Dixie, but she wasn't there. He slowly opened his eyes and patted her side of the bed, he felt her pyjamas folded up by her pillows but no wife to be found. As he sat up he looked towards their bathroom, nope, she wasn't in there either.
'Where the hell is she?' he thought to himself as he swung his legs round and got up.
'What are you doing out of bed Jeffrey?' Dixie said as she came into their room holding a tray with two cups of tea and breakfast on it. 'Get back in that bed now Mr Collier.'
'Best offer I have had so far this morning.' Jeff replied before doing as she was told sitting upright and signalling he was ready for his breakfast.
Dixie perched the tray on his legs before she sat down on the end of his side of the bed taking her tea and breakfast off the tray.
'What have I done to deserve this kind of treatment Mrs Collier?' Jeff asked while munching on his toast.
'Just wanted to do this to say thank you.'
'What have you got to thank me for?'
'Sticking by me, putting up with my moods, my tantrums, my crying, everything.'
'You don't need to thank me Dix, but thank you all the same.'
'You are welcome Mr Collier.' Dixie replied taking a sip from her mug staring intently at Jeff as he continued to wade his way through the breakfast she had prepared for him. She couldn't hide the fact that the court case was preying on her mind, even though she felt she had some form of closure, she knew it wouldn't be complete without the verdict and sentencing.
'Jeff?'
'Ummm.'
'When do you think the case will be?'
'I don't know Princess, hopefully it will be after Christmas.'
'Do you think he will be sentenced?'
'I don't think even he can talk his way out of this one Dix.'
'No guess not.' She said again taking another sip. 'We need to start moving on don't we?'
'Are you ready to?'
'I think I am Jeff, he told me why he had done it, I cannot say that I understand it Jeff, but, maybe he will get some help when he is in Prison, but, just hearing him being arrested made me feel like a weight had been lifted from me, you know, like that part of my life has been closed.'
'You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to say that Dixie, come here.' Jeff opened his arms after moving the tray out of the way as Dixie fell into them.
'I am so proud of you Kathleen Collier, so very proud. You were by far the better person yesterday, I don't know how you held it together, but you did, if you want to move on I can think of a perfect way to start that moving on.'
Jeff smirked as he pulled Dixie over so she was lying on her back, Jeff moved next to her placing soft kisses on her cheek before turning to tickle her laughing as she squirmed and squealed on the bed.
'Enough Jeffrey, come on, they will be here soon.'
Jeff stopped tickling her before he gazed into her face.
'What you staring at Jeff?'
'You.'
'Why?'
'I have not seen you smile or laugh like that for so long Dix, it has made me a very happy husband.'
'Oh, give over you, now come on, help me up and get yourself dressed.'
(It was true though, I am so very proud of her, I had waited for a long time for her to say it was time to move on, we needed to, although there was still a part of me that couldn't, I still felt to blame for all of this. I vowed to myself I would try and move on for hr sake, but I was still beating myself up about it inside.
The police came, told us Karl was being charged and what he was being charged with, we were told that Dixie would have to testify and so would I. It was going to be a long case and they had picked the worst day possible – January 18th, the twins due date. Dixie said maybe it was meant to be, I wasn't so sure. I was worried that she would be an easy target for Karl's legal team as she would be emotional, but I had to pray she would be fine.
It was going to be a long wait till court, we still had Christmas to go, but, I couldn't forgive myself for what had happened to her, to the twins, everything. I decided for her sake, to help her move on, I wouldn't tell her how I was really feeling, that I couldn't quite let go of the guilt that I couldn't move on. I wish I had of done though.)
