Chris glances over at me like I'm suddenly going to fly off the handle. Okay, maybe not fly off the handle, but like I'm going to react in such a manner that would be detrimental to our short-lived relationship. I just shrug instead because I'm not sure how else to respond. I certainly don't know why Barbie needs Chris, so we should probably find that out before I reserve any judgment. Besides, my anger towards Chris has abated mostly, and while I still hold some anger for Barbie, I mostly kind of, sort of feel sorry for her.
"Um, Barbie, do you remember the whole convincing me you were having my baby thing that turned out to be very untrue?" I look at Chris, studying his face, and I can see he's clenching his jaw in such a way that he looks like he might break his teeth.
"Chris, I know, I just, I really need you right now because…I don't really have anyone," her voice comes off as pathetic, and again, I feel sorry for her more than anything. She's put herself in an impossible situation, alone and pregnant by a married man.
"Barbie, as much fun as this is—"
"I'm not having fun about this," Barbie's voice is now a little firmer, a little less desperate than it was before. "I know I hurt you, but please, just—"
Chris looks to me in that moment, and I know he's blaming me for calling her back, and while he's not mad at me, he's just exasperated already. I remain as neutral as possible, letting him do what he wants or needs to do. "I can't talk to you right now, Barbie, I have things I was doing." He hangs up the phone. "That was a disaster. I didn't realize how much it still kind of hurt to even hear her voice."
"I get that," I tell him, but I can't help but think about what Barbie would have said if Chris had been more receptive to what she was saying. Unfortunately, Chris was not receptive, and I don't want to push it when he was so hurt. He looks over at me, and I give him a soft, sad smile that I hope reflects how sorry I am for him, and for everything he's going through. He grabs my hand, and I squeeze it tightly.
"Let's not think about her, okay, she's…she's not here, and she's not someone that's like…let's just not."
"Okay," I don't want him to feel down for the rest of the evening so I let it go for now. I know that I'm not going to let it go forever. I don't know, there was just something in Barbie's tone that makes me feel for her, and it surprises me.
I want to hate her to the core so badly, like I can taste how much I want to hate her, but then it's so hard when I have Chris here now. I think, if she had stayed with Chris, if she'd never told him the truth, I think I would have hated her a lot, but she didn't, and therefore, I'm trying to let go of the ill feelings I have for her, and just move on from it.
"Do you want to watch a movie or make out or something?" he asks, and the Chris I know and love is back, and I know that he's compartmentalizing, and he's tucking whatever happened with Barbie into the back of his mind.
"Why can't we do a little bit of both?" I lick my lips a little bit, and he suddenly grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer. I guess he wants to start with the making out part because he's kissing me now and I forget there was ever anyone named Barbie Blank.
On Monday, neither Chris nor I are sure how to go about this relationship thing at work. It's enough that everyone thought we'd been together for years when Chris came into the company, but the rumors have persisted for years. I think the Barbie thing threw a lot of people off, and the truth had to be handled so delicately because people love Chris, and they didn't want to make it worse once the truth came out.
It wasn't easy for either Chris or Barbie when the truth did come out. Neither one really said anything, but this is wrestling, and word gets around so easily. You say one thing, and ten minutes later, everyone knows. The gossip mill is strong here, but the one thing that didn't come out was the actual father of Barbie's baby. I'm not even sure how that managed to stay a secret, but it has. Sure, people have thrown around Randy's name, but as far as I know, nobody knows that it's actually the truth.
The gossip regarding them as died down in the weeks after the big reveal, but now Chris and I are together, and we're not sure if we just go ahead and walk around and kiss in the hallways and let it out that way, or if we just keep it to ourselves for now, not to like, hide it, but it's just, we don't really want that spotlight on us. Chris has had enough spotlight on him recently, and I just don't want people to talk about us, not that they didn't before, but, yeah, so here we are, deciding how to handle this.
"People are going to know soon, so why not just act like we don't care," Chris is rubbing my hand with his thumb, and I can detect a short burst of pride in his voice. It makes me wonder if he's proud to be with me or something. He catches the beginning of my smile, and furrows his brow as he stares at me, "What?"
"You want people to know, don't you?" I ask, the grin threatening to break through the dam I thought I put up.
"I mean, they're bound to know, right?" he tries to act unaffected, but I can read him better than anyone, and I can see through all of this. "Stop it, Scout, it's not what you think it is."
"What do I think it is?" I challenge him.
"It's not like I'm going to throw you up against a wall and have sex with you and let everyone watch as I claim my territory."
"So my vagina is suddenly your territory?" I raise an eyebrow, and he has the wherewithal to turn such a deep shade of red that I start laughing. We have not had sex yet, although things seem to be progressing to that point fairly quickly. I think we're both nervous for it though.
It's not that we don't want to, I think we both want to, obviously, but it's like, how do you reconcile the sex part with the knowing each other since we were little kids part. He's still that boy, and I'm still that girl, and I have this innate fear that I'm just going to burst into laughter in the middle of it because of how ridiculous it is that the boy who I saw running around with underwear on his head is the same one I really want to give me an orgasm.
"I didn't..." He gulped, "you know that's not what I meant."
"Sounded like that's what you meant," I'm clearly joking, but I think I threw him for such a loop he can't really recover. "I don't want you to be my territory or my property, just like, my partner in crime, like you always have been, like I always want you to be."
Welp, that does it, how did he manage to turn something hilarious and slightly vulgar into the sweetest thing? He's way too charming for his own good, and I might just have to slap him so he'll stop being so sweet. He leans over and gives me a kiss, which I reciprocate immediately. "You're good," I whisper to him.
"I know," he says cockily.
"So just…be ourselves then?" I ask, and he could have told me anything in that moment, and I probably would have gone along with it, but inside, I just nod my head, and that's how we decide we're not going to sneak around or hide our relationship. We're just going to be ourselves, and that's that. Hell, everyone's thought we've been together for years so why not just confirm that I do see Chris as a man and he sees me as a woman. That sounded weird, but yeah, that's the gist of it.
That's how we end up walking hand in hand into the arena that evening, and while we get a few stares and a couple understanding nods, nobody seems to pay attention, and I'm okay with that. I'm glad that it's not a big deal. We part ways with a kiss, me heading to my office, and him heading to the men's locker room. Well, I guess I would be heading to my office if I didn't think I needed to go somewhere else first. I drop my things off quickly then head to the women's locker room.
I knock on the door, and Nikki answers, "Hey, Nik, Barbie around?"
Nikki's eyes widened, and she must think there's going to be some kind of confrontation. "Um, sure, let me get her," Nikki says quickly before she can say anything else or think anything else. Barbie shows up at the door a few seconds later. She's not in ring gear because she obviously can't wrestle, but she's here at the shows because we have to write her off somehow. We've had her being stalked by Kane for a few weeks now, and eventually, we'll probably act like she's been kidnapped for a while, a succinct way to write her off TV.
"Hey, Stephanie," she says sheepishly, and she has the good sense to look apologetic, but I'm not going to yell at her or accuse her of anything. "What can I do for you?"
"I just wanted to talk to you, if that's okay," I let her know, and Barbie looks behind her like she's hoping someone will call for her and she can avoid this. Nobody does though, and she turns back to me and gives a reluctant nod. She opens the door further to let me in, but I shake my head.
"We can go somewhere else, privacy and all that," I tell her, and there's an even more reluctant nod. I lead the way, and I think about going back to my office, but Chris might drop by, and I kind of don't want him to know I'm talking with Barbie. Instead, I go through the labyrinth of hallways until I find a little secluded area with a couple of errant trunks up against a wall. I hop onto one, and she does the same. She doesn't look pregnant at all, but her t-shirt is a little loose so maybe she is showing now, I'm not up on my pregnancies. "So…"
"Stephanie, I'm really sorry, I didn't—"
"Look, I'm not here to talk about what you did to Chris. I'm just here to talk to you about the conversation you had with him the other night," I cut her off before she tries to explain everything, before she cries because I can already see them welling in her eyes.
"You heard about that, he told you?"
"I was there, I heard it," I take a deep breath, "Chris and I are dating now."
"Oh," Barbie bites her bottom lip, "I understand. I think you two will probably be good together, I didn't…I didn't stop you before, did I?"
"No, you didn't," I shake my head, "but…you said you needed Chris."
"Oh, Stephanie, no, no, no," she shakes her head, her blonde hair flying all over the place, and she looks disheveled, and it's only now that I notice she's got dark circles under her eyes, and she looks sallow. "That wasn't about trying to get him back, we weren't good together anyways, he was just with me because of the baby."
"I know, I know," I tell her twice to let that sink in. "I'm not accusing you of trying to get him back, but um, Barbie, are you taking care of yourself? You don't look well." I try to be delicate about it because no person wants to hear they look like shit.
"Yeah, sorry, morning sickness, and just, stuff," Barbie shrugs it off, but it's hard to shrug off how she doesn't look like she's doing okay at all. Morning sickness sucks, I'm sure, but it probably doesn't make you look like this.
"What did you need from Chris?" I ask what I came to her to ask. I want to know why she needed him, why she swallowed her pride to try and get Chris's help. I want to help her because I don't hate her, not anymore, and once Chris gets over the hurt, I think he would help her, I'm just helping that along.
"What?" she's clearly shocked I even care.
"I want to help you if I can, what did you need?"
"You don't have to—"
"Don't have to, want to, big difference," I tell her, prompting her to continue.
"I just," she sighs, pausing, "I just want Randy to help, even if it's just money or something, but I would really like him to want to be involved, and I just thought Chris might talk to him or help me get through to him, or just…I'm scared to do this alone, and Randy…"
It takes me a split second to think about it. She's a woman hanging on by a thread, pregnant by a man she shouldn't have slept with, and she knows it, and she's so obviously sorry. Still, she doesn't deserve this. I can't hate her in this moment because she's lost and sad, and there's a child in her that deserves to have it all, who didn't do anything to deserve all this.
"I'll help."
