a/n: First an apology to Alice for my sister, and a grudging apology to Stout because you're annoying but I still love you and you're just trying to be protective...I guess. Beware of serious angst. I cried writing some of this, so you've been warned! Also, not to beat a dead horse, but this chapter is 10,735 words of new content. Please please please review. They are a direct factor to my update schedule. For my loyal reviewers, you are everything.
And still, after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe Me."
Look what happens with
A love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky."
― Hāfez
Chapter 28: Forgive Me [Blank] For I Have Sinned
"Genevieve, goddamnit, I am done talking wih you about this. I'm going, and there's not a thing in Merlin's Black Cauldron you can do or say to convince me not to."
They were forty five minutes into one of the nastiest fights they'd had in some time, and Draco needed a drink so badly his throat had begun to ache. Or perhaps that was just from all the yelling.
"That's absurdly unfair!" Gen whined, stomping her foot like a child. "You going to tantamount to a slap in my face!"
"No," he snapped. "It isn't. Stop being such a selfish brat. Ariadne is family to me, Genevieve, and not going to her wedding would be a slap in the face!"
"Family?" she sneered. "Why don't you say what you really mean: you like pretending Ariadne actually is your mother-in-law so the two of y'all can keep your sick little Leolin fantasy alive!"
"What the fuck did you just say to me?" he snarled, teeth bared. "Ari and I never discuss Leolin, and that's in deference to you! Because I love you and I know how much this hurts you! Pull your head out of wherever you've hidden it and you'll see that!"
"Do you still love her?" Gen demanded. "Be honest with me."
"I am not answering that," he sneered, finally heading to the bar.
"Why?" she demanded, following after him. "Because you do?"
"Because I've already answered it a thousand times!" he roared, smashing a crystal highball on the floor. "I'm not going to keep doing this with you! I'm over her; you know that!"
"If that's true," she snapped. "If that's really true, then you have no business being friends with Ariadne!"
He shook his head, grabbing her wrist before she could protest, and before she knew what was happening, she was tumbling headlong into his memories. They were flashes, mostly, beginning with various drunken meltdowns and outbursts. There were police wizards and interrogation rooms, and jumbled memories of drugs and alcohol. It a particularly violent flash, Gen watched a gaunt, waxy Draco bend double and vomit a mouthful of blood onto the floor. When they finally re-emerged, most of the fierceness had bled from Draco's face.
"She's saved my life, G," he said softly at last. "If she hadn't come when she did, I would have drank and drugged myself to death. She fixed me, helped me heal. If she hadn't, we would be here together right now. You would be dating some poncy twat like Beau Tanner, and I'd be in a pine box in the ground. I'm the man you fell in love with because she helped me become him. To not to her wedding after all that would be unspeakable. Tell me you see that. Besides, I have made so many sacrifices for you! I've missed birthdays and babies being born and big Quidditch matches to spent time in the States with you. Merlin, I moved here for you! I haven't been to the London flat in six weeks so I could stay here and be with you! I am running my own company from four thousand miles away! Is none of that enough to prove I love you? Besides, you're bloody acting as if I'm insisting you stay here. I told you you could come with me! I want you to come with me! Why can't you be supportive, for once, and do this for me?"
He cleaned the shattered glass and filled it with an ambitious pour of whiskey, which he put down in an equally-ambitious swallow.
"I'm not supportive?" she repeated contemptuously. "What about all the effort I've put in to being Ginny and Blaise's friend, neither of whom are particularly easy to get to know! And I went with you to your friend Adrian's wedding!"
"How can you expect to become friends with someone from an ocean away?" he demanded. "And that wedding was almost two years ago, and Adrian and I aren't even really friends! He works for my father, for Merlin's sake!"
"Then why did you go to his wedding if y'all aren't friends?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He snarled. "Are you seriously—no, you know what? Nevermind. That argument is too stupid and weak to even warrant a rebuttal. Stop splitting hairs, and stop acting like Ari and Adrian mean the same thing to me! They don't. You've met him; he's fucking hideous."
She opened her mouth to argue but her cut her off.
"I swear to Merlin, if you're about to repeat that fucking bollocks about Adrian's wedding, I'm leaving."
"Just because you can't have your way doesn't mean you can storm off," she warned.
"Have my way?" he snarled. "That's rich, coming from you!"
"What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded hotly.
"That you are being unbelievably selfish right now," he shot back.
There were fat tears in her eyes now, but she ignored them.
"Drake," she said quietly. "That's unfair."
"The hell it is unfair," he snapped. "Why are you being like this? Can't you see how important this is to me?"
"It is important!" she agreed through tears. "How can we ever have a future if you insist on living in the past?"
"Ari isn't part of my past!" he roared. "She and Adrien and Amelie are family, independent of Leolin and even you. That is never going to change."
"So I just have to accept living with your ex-fiancee's parents for the rest of my life?"
"If you can't," he said in a cold, quiet voice. "We have no future together."
At this she began to cry outright, and he clenched his jaw and ran a hand through his hair.
"G," he said penitently. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that; you know I didn't mean that."
She came forward and folded into his waiting embrace, laying her head on his chest.
"I'm sorry, too," she said through tears. "I need to let Leolin go. I'm sorry I keep bringing her up. but you know I love you. I love you more than anything."
"I—" he started. "You too. So much it hurts."
They shared a passionate kiss.
"I need to floo Ariadne," he said against her temple. "Then I will take you out to dinner."
She nodded, and they kissed again. She then leaned up and pressed her forehead against his.
"Thank you," she breathed, smiling. "Drake, you don't know what it means to me."
He tensed and stepped back, releasing her from his embrace.
"I do love you," he whispered. "But I'm going to this wedding, whether or not you approve."
"Fine," she bit out tightly, looking down to mask more tears.
He touched her chin so she would look up at him.
"Please, will you come with me?"
She gave him a wounded frown, shrugging out of his touch.
"No," she said in a soft, chilly voice. "I'll just see you when you get back. I'm going to stay at Max's until then."
He shook his head in hurt and frustration. "Fine. I'll be back in two weeks, maybe longer. I'll let you know."
He turned to look at her, silently offering her one last chance to reconsider. She bit her lip and gave him a sad frown in return.
"Genevieve—" he began, taking a step towards her.
She countered it with two steps back.
"It didn't have to be like this," she reminded him reproachfully, arms wrapped protectively around herself.
"No," he agreed in a thin voice, eying her with a mix of pain and contempt. "It didn't. See you in two weeks."
She brushed away a tear as he disappeared with a soft pop.
Kelly lay flat on his back, manning the battlements of his solitary mind. Tate Rawle had been at him for hours, and Kelly was exhausted from the pain. Still, despite the four broken ribs and what he thought was probably a concussion, he'd yet to break. It seemed, for the first time, that he might actually manage to pull this off after all.
He'd been a bit rusty when Malfoy had tested him, but he'd been diligently training since then, and now he's skills were razor sharp. Kelly had the seasoned work ethic of a professional athlete, and he'd thrown everything he had into his training. His first step had been to seek out the one man he was convinced was most equipped to help him: Severus Snape. He knew from Harry that Snape was an accomplished legimens and prodigy occlumens, and he was a was with plenty of self loathing to spare. He'd strengthened Kelly's defenses, firing cruciatus after cruciatus util Kelly begged him to stop. Slowly, though, the agony decreased and the imperius lost its intoxicating edge. The cruciatus was still paniful and the imperius inviting, but they both had been brought down to manageable levels. Training for the World Cup had also brought his body to peak physical condition, and that certainly didn't hurt, either.
Tate was circling around Kelly, sleeves rolled. Kelly could see the faded dark mark on his left forearm.
"What do you think, Kelly?" Tate said mirthfully, nudging one of the cracked ribs in Kelly's side and making him cry out in pain. "Had enough yet?"
Kelly only moaned in response. He knew there was more pain to come, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying the reprieve. Tate cast a powerful imperius, and Kelly imagine a frigid tundra as the warmth washed over him.
"Tell me a secret, KT," Tate goaded. "Tell me what you lot know about Audige and Jean du Bones."
Kelly said nothing, only braced himself for the pain instead.
"Crucio!"
Kelly twitched, heaved, and cried out, but finally the pain ceased. He lay panting, eye squeezed closed as Tate watched him in amusement. Kelly listened as the heavy door swung open. He didn't bother opening his eyes because he was already sure he knew who it must be. Kelly could hear the sharp steel tips of Adrian's boots on the stone floor as he prowled around in his characteristically feline way.
"How fares our good friend Kelly Troy?" he said to Tate.
"Admittedly less weak than I expected," Tate conceded. "Though no less self-righteous."
Adrian crouched down to Kelly's level.
"What's wrong, KT? Worried what your friends are going to think when they eventually find out you broke in less than a day? After you spill all their secrets, that is."
Kelly turned his head away and Adrian laughed.
"You really think you're tough?" he demanded, straightening this his full height again. "Crucio!"
Kelly screamed immediately. Adrian's curse had infinitely more punch than Tate's, and it was like a tribuchet to his stony mental defenses. He hung on bitterly until it was over, and when Adrian cast the imperius, he let the warmth wash over him, relaxing the muscles in his neck and chest.
"Alright, Kelly," Adrian said casually, twirling his wand through elegant fingers. "Tell us something."
"What?" Kelly said hoarsely. His lips were cracked and bleeding, and he felt as if he'd swallowed a pint of ash.
"Anything," Adrian replied casually, shrugging. "Tell us something about your wife." He raised his eyebrows at Tate. "Tell us what she's like in bed."
"No," Kelly croaked. "Never."
"Oh-ho-ho," Adrian mocked, smirking at Tate and raising his eyebrows. "Touch-y! Crucio."
"Please!" Kelly screamed after a minute. The pain was getting to be too much, and if Adrian kept on Kelly knew he'd lost his grip entirely.
""Go on, then," Adrian goaded. "Tell us about Cara."
"No," Kelly repeated, gritting his teeth and tried to catch his breath. The broken ribs made it hard. "Fuck off."
"Crucio!" Adrian snapped, and Kelly could feel Adrian's keen displeasure. His defenses were wearing dangerously thin, and he knew he needed to give some ground. Still, the idea of humiliating Cara was harder to bare than the pain.
"Don't be a prude Kelly," Tate sneered.
"Tate's right," Adrian agreed. "Stop being so dramatic and tell us what it's like to fuck your tight little wife."
Kelly opened his mouth, but the words died even as they traveled up his throat.
"No," he repeated finally. "Please."
Adrian raised wand before thinking better of it.
"Alright," he purred, eyes sparkling as his face split into a dark grin. "Then tell us about Lefevre. That's a more interesting topic, anyways."
Tate gave a coarse laugh, and Kelly felt sick to his stomach. Somehow he'd known this line of questioning was coming, but he dreaded to answer it.
"Imperio," Tate purred, and the effect was better than a vein full of Muggle heroin.
"C'mon," Adrian jeered. "Don't hold out on us. Tell us something about Leolin."
Kelly paused, and Adrian seemed to sense his answer because he sneered.
"Tate? Send Torrii to find Troy's wife. We don't need him to tell us what she's like in bed; we'll just find out for ourselves."
"You're bluffing," Kelly said at once through gritted teeth, sweat beading on his forehead. "You have no way of finding her. She went undergrou-ah!"
Adrian threw a new crucio that immediately silenced him. Kelly was fighting to keep in control of his mind, and even the thought of Cara's face, of her smile, wasn't enough to keep Adrian out.
"Last chance, KT," he warned. "Start playing nicely or I'll rip Cara's lungs out while you watch. Don't believe me? Then keep pushing. I dare you."
Finally the pain relented, and Kelly lay heaving and twitching on the floor, desperately trying to reenforce his mental defenses.
"Please," he begged quietly. "Just make it stop."
Adrian looked grimly satisfied.
"Then tell me about Leolin."
Kelly squeezed his eyes shut. He only hoped he could someday earn her forgiveness for what he was about to do.
"What about her?"
Adrian and Tate grinned at each other.
"Did you sleep with her?" Tate queried eagerly.
Kelly bit his cheek but didn't reply.
"Kel-ly!" Adrian sang.
Kelly remained silent even as Adrian drew his wand again. The pain was quickly becoming too much.
"Yes," Kelly croaked before Adrian could curse him. "The night Malfoy brought Severina Borgia with him to the opera."
"You only slept together once?" Tate asked. "That's a pity."
"Well don't be shy!" Adrian prompted, laughing. "How was she?"
Kelly didn't reply. Maybe he couldn't do this after all. Adrian raised his wand and Kelly braced himself for a pain that never came.
"Imperio."
Merlin, it felt good. He let the curse loosen his tongue.
"She was incredible," Kelly breathed honestly, a tear slipping down his cheek.
"Was she tight?" Tate pressed.
"Yes," Kelly croaked. "Very."
More cruel laughter.
"Settle a bet for us," Adrian said mirthfully. "Those gorgeous knockers of hers, are they real?"
Kelly paused.
"Yes."
"I told you," Adrian crowed to Tate. "You owe me five galleons."
"Well what else, KT?" Tate said. "Don't be shy, mate!"
"N—"
"Imperio."
"She likes to be on top," Kelly admitted truthfully. "And from that angle, the view was—"
Adrian gave a low whistle, gaze wolfish.
"I bet," he said. "What does she taste like? I know you know; blokes like you are always so eager to please."
"There's that potion, or charm, I don't know," Kelly croaked. "It makes it—"
"Oh, we know," Tate finished sardonically. "So what was it, then? My ex tasted like key lime pie, my hand to Merlin."
Kelly squeezed his eyes shut, and shook his head.
"Imperio."
Still he said nothing.
"Merlin," Adrian said gleefully. "It must be really good. Crucio!"
Kelly was losing himself to the pain, which was corroding the occlumency shield he'd built. He had to give in or he really would break.
"Blackberries, I think! I'm not sure! It was—"
"It was—?" Tate repeated in a mocking tone.
Kelly let out a shuddering breath.
"I could have stayed down there all day."
"Oh my gods," Adrian said, laughing heartily. "That's honestly the best thing I've heard all week, and I've had a lot of good news."
"What about you, KT?" Tate pried. "Did she return the favour?"
Kelly nodded tightly.
"I always imagined she's the type of girl who doesn't really have a gag reflex," Adrian mused, drumming his fingers against his lips in contemplation. "Am I right? Does she?"
Kelly's broken ribs were making it hard to breathe and even harder to think. He tried not to remember to spare some of Leolin's dignity, but he was inundated with memories by that point. He could still feel the softness of her bare skin tingling in his fingers.
"Not really."
This was met with more hearty laughter.
"I knew it!" Adrian jeered triumphantly, and Kelly heard a sharp snap as Adrian and Tate high-fived.
"Right," Tate said as the traded a nasty smile. "One last question. Did she let you put it in her..." he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
"No," Kelly said immediately. "We didn't—I wouldn't—"
"Oh of course you wouldn't, you boring little saint," Adrian sneered. "But I happen to know for a fact she loves it."
"How?" Kelly croaked, feeling ashamed.
Adrian gave a blithe grin.
"When they broke up the first time, Malfoy spilled a lot of secrets about her he probably shouldn't have. Not that I'm complaining, of course."
Adrian and Tate both laughed.
"Shame, KT," Adrian said in mock pity, raising his eyebrows. "Looks like you had an opportunity and you missed it. Oh well, I'll be sure to let you know how it is."
Their laughter grew, and Kelly squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to be strong. His only chance at sparing Leolin from further humiliation and making sure they never got a hand on Cara was to fight, right here, right now. Adrian raised his arm and Kelly pushed all his remaining emotional strength into the shield.
The pain came swift and sharp, though it lacked its earlier fervour. He felt sick to think that the idea of sleeping with Leolin had divided Adrian's attention. Finally it stopped, and Kelly took a deep breath. This was it; he would succeed here or everything he'd just endured would have been for nothing.
"Imperio," they hissed in unison, and Kelly was momentarily overwhelmed. However, he began desperately clawing his way back towards control. He thought of Cara the day he'd married her, listened to her infectious laugh. He pictured Malfoy's face as he endured the cruciatus's effects along with Kelly. Fight, Kelly, fight! He grit his teeth and gave an agonised cry, desperate not to fail. With a great gust, he felt the warmth in his chest extinguished like a flame, and he could feel that he was once again the master of his own mind.
Tate and Adrian looked triumphant, and if Kelly wasn't in such pain, he would have had to fought not to look the same. They'd bought it.
"So, Kelly," Adrian said casually, pulling up a chair and sitting backwards on it. "Tell us about Guillarme Audige."
Kelly paused. Merlin's pants, he was in.
"What do you want to know?"
Leolin woke up hungover and wreathed in self loathing. When she sat up and look at Max lying beside her, the wings on his back flexing as he exhaled each breath, she knew she was going to be sick. She barely managed to make it to the toilet before purging all the alcohol from her stomach. She clung weakly to the porcelain rim, but she pictured the shock and fear on Kelly's face as Felix's hex sent him reeling back or the touch of Max's hands on her bare skin, she threw up a second time, then a third. Finally she had nothing left to purge, and she melted to the cold slate floor, sobbing.
In all the things she'd done and endured, she'd never felt more disgusted with herself. There was a dull but desperate ache between her thighs, and she felt sick all over again. She tried to force herself to vomit, but when she only managed to spit out a mouthful of blood, she gave up and laid back down. With last night's foul act, she'd betrayed the only two men she'd ever loved. She'd given into Max even knowing what he'd done to Kelly, and she callously allowed him to slither between her thighs and take the one thing that was supposed to be Draco's alone.
She could feel love bites and bruises all over her neck, and her sobs rent the air, bouncing off the sterile walls and riddling it with her sorrow. She remembered seeing a small creek rushing just beyond the barrow meadow the night before, and some dark part of her wanted to fill her pockets with stones and throw herself in. She wouldn't, thought, she knew she wouldn't, if for no other reason that the idea was selfish and vain, and she'd been selfish enough the night before. Instead she crawled into the shower still dressed in her bra and knickers and curled into the fetal position, letting the streaming water was over her.
She thought about Kelly again—by this time she couldn't stop—and remembering the cold fury in Adrian's eyes the night Tommy died, she gave another heaving sob, though she'd long since run out of tears. She had to do something, something to right this wrong before it was too late. She felt powerless and a hypocrite, but that only spurred her on all the more. She couldn't fix what had happened with Draco or take back what she'd done with Max, but she had to try and save Kelly. He was the best of all of them, and he deserved so much better than what he'd gotten. He and Cara both.
She bit her lip and forced her mind to a scalding, unwanted place, refusing to relent even as her stomach began to turn again. She imagined Adrian's pearly teeth raking across her skin the way Max's had and shuddered even as she pushed the thought to its sickening climax. She perhaps hadn't want to admit it before, but this was the only thing she could do, her only avenue to rescuing Kelly. She sat up, tucking her knees to her chest. If Adrian was going to cede Kelly for anyone, it was going to be Leolin. As for what it would cost her, she didn't care. She'd given that right away to the night before. Briefly she envisioned what Draco would say when he heard what she'd done, both with Max and with Adrian, but that was too painful, and she banished the thought at once.
She acknowledged that she was being deliberately self-sacrificial, and that at its core this wasn't entirely about Kelly. It was, as always, ultimately about Draco. Without him, she felt hollow and in the winter, and if she couldn't have him, she wanted to throw herself on the sword of not having him and revel in the exquisite pain. If she couldn't have him, she at least wanted the bittersweet knowledge that he would mourn her loss. Besides, some small part of her did still love Kelly, would always love him, and she couldn't bare to see him hurt or worse. Even if she had Draco back, she still owed Kelly her loyalty in this.
She let her eyes slip closed. It was time; she had to go. It could be too late already. She chewed her lip and considered. She had no idea where to find Adrian, but Felix said they were less than four miles from the stadium, and considering he and Max had gone back to re-join the fight, Adrian had to know, or at least assume, they'd remained close by. She had a feeling that if she left the safe house, he would find her without any trouble. She squeezed her eyes tighter. She had to go. Max could wake up any time, and she had no intention of fighting with him over this decision on her way out. She would give herself five more minutes to mourn her losses, and then she had to leave.
"Leolin."
Max stood in the doorway of the small space dressed only in low-slung khakis, hair mussed and face grim. His semi-nakedness prompted a spiking shame in her stomach, and she looked away.
"Leolin," he repeated, but she shook her head.
"Fuck you," she snarled quietly, almost to herself. "And leave me alone;I have nothing to say to you."
"I'm sorry," he said in response, taking a step forward instead. "I know things got super fucked up last night. But you should know I never meant to hurt you."
"What does that matter?" she demanded. "You did hurt me. I was vulnerable, and you took advantage of that to assuage your guilt over what you'd done. Kelly can't fix what happened to Amelia. You know that. You had no right to send him to the slaughterhouse. If you still feel responsible for her death, you should have given yourself up to Adrian."
Her wounds cut him to the quick, she could see that, and she felt a guilt swelling up. She knew how badly he loved Amelia; she loved Draco just as fiercely. Still, when she thought of the betrayal he'd forced Cara to endure, she bit back her apology.
"I know last was fucked up," he repeated brokenly. "I'm sorry."
"Have you just waiting all this time?" she demanded. "Biding your time until your opportunity arose again? I'm not her, Max. I'm not going to be her surrogate for you."
"You're not," he pleaded, though she could see in his eyes that he was lying.
"I trusted you," she said in response. "Both of you. And you exploited on my love for Ren so you could blindside me on the Kelly front then used me so you could make love to Amelia's ghost to make yourself feel better. Is that why you came back instead of him? Because you knew I was fragile and broken and you'd have no trouble getting me to spread my legs for you again?"
"What?" he said, looking like a kicked dog. "No, of course not. I didn't plan to sleep with you, it just—happened."
"At least admit it," she said. "At least do me that courtesy."
"Leolin, I would never do that. And even if I'd wanted to, Ren would never would have let me. You're family to him; he'd never let anyone hurt you."
"After all the lying you've done, how can you possibly expect me to believe that?"
She wiped as a lonely tear.
"Because that's not me. Maybe you don't believe me, but I want you to be happy. I would never hurt you on purpose."
"If that were really true," she bit out. "You wouldn't have tried to keep me and Draco apart."
"That's different," he said, tone hardening. "I wasn't going to let you stand between her and happiness. She deserves it more than anyone."
"Who are you to decide that?" she demanded. "You are you to stand as judge and jury and manipulate things so they'd go her way? Draco and I love each other. I know you don't want to admit that to yourself, but deep down you know it's true."
"If it was, then the little I've done wouldn't have stopped him," he said firmly, brow furrowed. "He loves Gen. I couldn't let you get inside his head and trick him into thinking he didn't. He loves Gen, and she deserves that. I meant what I said last night; you deserve someone to love you, too, but it's not Draco."
"Again," she said. "Not your place! This isn't some game that you help Gen cheat in. This is my life, our lives, mine and Draco's, and I will never forgive you for interfering. Besides, even if your sick little machinations hadn't cost me Draco, last night you willingly betrayed the only other man I've ever loved. I could kill you for that alone."
"I'm sorry about Troy," he said. "I know you care for him, and it wasn't my intention to hurt you or Cara."
"You lied to us, all of us, took advantage of our trust to serve your personal agenda. We agreed to the Kelly deal under your deliberately false information!"
"I never lied. You all knew I had someone on the inside, and I couldn't risk Annie's safety. She can't do this job, Lefevre, only Troy can. I know it's painful, but will both of them we're doubly strong."
"Who are you to decide that!" she screamed, getting to her feet still soaking wet. "Why is it that your love—your love for Amelia and Annalysse—gets to supercede everyone else's? Amelia is dead, Max, she's already gone, so how can you justify submitting Cara Troy to the pain you went through?"
"I can't apologise for what I did; this is war, and it was too important. We have to make tough choices if we want a prayer at winning."
"Is that supposed to excuse what you've fucking done?" she demanded. "This is Adrian we're talking about! He's out for after what Annalysse did to Tommy, and now Kelly is at his mercy with no guarantees Adrian won't kill him! And if he does, it will all have been for nothing!"
"She did that for you! She was saving you so something awful! And Troy's not going to die," Max counted. "Annie already convinced Pucey flip him. He'll be back within the month."
She shook her head.
"Fuck that," she snarled quietly. "I'm done doing this you."
She made to leave, but he blocked her exit.
"Where are you going?"
"To fix what you've broken. Get out of my way."
"It's already done," Max said gravely. "Pucey already gave Troy to Rawle. It's beyond our control now."
"I don't care!" she screamed. "I'm not just going to leave him there to rot! Besides, I owe Adrian what you stole from him."
"What is that supposed to mean?" he pleaded.
"The right to defile me like you did was his," she spit, sick with self-loathing again. "At this point, he's more than earned it."
"Don't say that," he demanded softly. "Please."
"That's not your decision to make. I'm done letting you run the show."
She shoved past him and he grabbed her arm.
"Let go!" she screamed, struggling against him.
"I won't let you leave, for your own sake."
"Get off!"
"Leolin, I know you're grieving, but this won't help! If you love Draco and Kelly as much as you say, you won't do this!"
"Don't you dare throw them back in my face after everything you done!" she roared. "And you have no dominion over what I do! You stole my dignity from me last night; the little I have left is mine to give away."
Her skin was still slick from the shower, and she managed to wriggle away from him and scramble into the bedroom.
"You can't leave without a wand," he said dolefully. "And Ren still has yours."
"Then give me yours," she snarled. "Before I kill you and take it anyway."
"Leolin!"
"I'm not your prisoner! I won't be. Give me your wand and let me go!"
"Don't make me force you," he pleaded.
"What are you going to do?" she screamed. "Get me drunk and torture me about Kelly and Draco until I give in and let you fuck me again?"
"No," he said, looking wounded. "Please, this is for your own good."
"Don't," she snarled. "Don't you dare."
He drew his wand.
"Leolin," he said. "I'm so sorry. For everything. Stupefy."
Draco sat, head in hands, and let the soft Aegean sunrise wash over him. He'd barely slept since they'd arrived back from Germany the previous evening. His back and shoulders ached, but so did his heart and soul. They were the pain's point of origin, and it had started to feel like the aguish had gotten into his bloodstream and was being pumped from his temples to his toes. He wouldn't cry, that wasn't him, but the effort of stopping himself was making it hard the breathe.
The minute he arrived at the villa after the cup, Draco made desperate love to Leolin on the Persian carpet on his bedroom floor. At least, it was Leolin in his mind. Gen had faded the minute they began tearing at each other's clothes, and just the idea of Leolin's lush lips on his neck was enough to push him over.
Since the night they'd rescued Sebasten, Draco had completely given in to his fantasies of Leolin. Having done so, he once again found it easy to be with Gen. Still, it was only Gen one out of every ten times. The other nine it was Leolin, and he relished in her soft skin and lush body.
This new coping strategy was working so well Draco was thoroughly convinced by the cup that he could live a happy marriage with Gen and still fuck his vision of Leolin for the rest of his life.
That had been before the ball.
That had been before the dance.
That was before he saw Leolin in her wedding gown and they finally shared their first dance.
Now the sexual fantasy wasn't enough, not nearly enough to hold him together. He needed the real thing, the real Leolin, and now he felt so plagued by his love that he wasn't sure he could go even one more day without her. He needed to go immediately and fall at her feet.
He missed everything about her. In fact, it was the sex he missed the least, which was saying something. Mostly he missed her smile. He missed her laugh. He missed her wit. her intellect. her perfect french. her lilting voice. her fierceness. her tenderness. the way she smelled. the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about art. When she talked about their future.
The truth of her flight—which had seemed critical when they'd been in Atlanta three months ago—was suddenly inconsequential. He didn't care. He didn't care, because a small voice in the deepest part of his dark heart kept telling him that whatever reason Leolin had for leaving, it was a good one. Besides, this was love. True love. Epic love. A love for the very ages. He had been a fucking fool to try and keep a tally. It didn't matter what either owed the other. It only mattered that he'd finally accepted what he'd known since he was seventeen years old: he loved her with everything he had been, he was, and everything he would be, and he would rather die than live without her.
His greatest fear in those few days after the attack was that after everything he'd done, she wouldn't forgive him. He acknowledged that she had no reason to, he'd been hideous, but that thought was so painful that he selfishly put it from his head. She had to forgive him, because if he didn't he would die.
He heard the soft padding of bare feet behind him, and he prayed it wasn't Gen. He wasn't ready to face her yet.
"Hey," Marina said gently, settling down next to him. She'd brought Rodames, who immediately sensed Draco's distress and laid beside him, his head in his master's lap.
"Myles and Aleco wanted to come, too," she explained. "But I think this is something for just you and me."
He nodded gratefully. She settled next to him and laid her head on his shoulder, taking his hand. Of all Draco's adopted sibling, it was marina with whom he'd formed the strongest bond. She was the closest to his age, and they'd always understood one another implicitly. On the day he'd met her, he'd immediately realised that he'd actually known her and loved her all her life.
"Mari," he croaked finally, bowing his head and letting several longer pieces on hair droop into his eyes.
"Talk to me," she prompted gently.
"What have I done?"
"Nothing yet, agapi," she reassured him.
"I lied to you yesterday at breakfast. In fact, I've been lying to myself for five years, and now I think I've lost the best thing that's ever been mine to my arrogance and pride."
"What do you mean?" she said delicately, trying not to push.
"What am I doing trying to force myself to marry Gen? I—I don't think I even love her anymore. In fact, I know I don't."
"Oh Drake," she said, stroking the soft skin of his bicep.
"How could I ever truly love her, knowing that my Leolin still walked the Earth?"
"It's not too late to fix things," she pointed out. "Where is Leolin now?"
"I don't know," he admitted distressed. "We lost contact with Brankovitch after he stabbed us in the back and turned Troy over. I assume he and Chaisson got Leolin out but I—I don't know that for sure."
"You have to find her, Drake," Marina urged. "Tell Gen the truth, then go. You can't afford to waste any more time, and after last night, Leolin is going to need you more than ever."
He nodded tightly.
"You're right," he admitted. "I just—I—"
"Drake," she prompted, gently touching his cheek. "What is it?"
"If Adrian—and I didn't stop him—"
She shook her head, her mass of black curls augmenting her gesture of disagreement.
"No," she said. "Don't think like that. Leolin's capable and tough, and she had Chaisson and Brankovitch to protect her. Besides you know your father; if he managed to get his hands on her, he'd be crowing about it."
"It's not my father I'm worried about," he said, driving his hands into his hair. "He didn't even go to Germany."
There was an elongated silence that was mitigated only by the sound of the waves below.
"Bampás told us what happened at the manor," she said quietly. "I'm so sorry."
Draco hung his head, tugging on his hair so hard she was worried he would tear it out completely.
"If Adrian hurts her now, I'll never forgive myself. I should have been by her side protecting her from him, and instead I—I did nothing. I just stood by and let him—"
"That's not true," Marina defended. "You saved her life in New Orleans."
"No!" he cried, distressed. "She saved mine! That curse was meant for me, and she stepped in front of it to protect me. She almost died for me, and in return I broke her heart and ran away like a fucking coward."
Marina touched his back soothingly.
"You can't take the past, agapi, but if you truly love her, then go to her. Please, before it truly is too late. Floo Severina Borgia. She must surely know where Leolin is. The boys can find a way to get you to Italy, at the very least. You can take a muggle car to Germany from there if you have to. Worry about everything else once you've found her."
He nodded numbly.
"You're right," he said, glancing at her. "I've let this go on for far too long; I have to set things right."
"Of course I'm right, you idiot," she said, nudging him playfully. "I always am."
He gave a small upturn of his lips.
"Thank you," he breathed earnestly.
"What are sisters for?" she replied, touching his smooth cheek.
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers.
"I love you," she breathed. "And I'm proud of you. Be careful and come straight back once you've found her. If you die, I'll kill you."
He gave a feeble laugh.
"I won't die," he agreed. "I promise."
"C'mon then," she said, easing him to his feet. "We're wasting precious time."
"Thank you," he said again.
"Always."
"Draco?"
They both turned to watch Gen as she traipsed onto the balcony before turning back to trade a meaningful look. Marina touched his forearm lovingly.
"I'm going to get Myles and Aleco out of bed. We'll be in the kitchen when you're ready."
Gen and Draco wordlessly watched her go, Rodames padding obediently after her. When they were alone, Draco turned back to the searing dawn, where blazing pinks and oranges clawed through the darkness, chasing it away. The sea was ablaze with light, and it sparkled like a chest of gold.
"Are you alright?" she asked, brushing a hand down his back. He tensed and she let it drop."I don't think you slept a wink last night."
"I didn't," he affirmed, sighing.
He still hadn't worked up the courage to look at her.
"Are you worried about Ginny and Blaise?"
He shook his head honestly. "They made it back through. They're at their safe house now."
She nodded before falling silent.
"I'm leaving soon," Draco said tightly, finally glancing at her.
"You can't," she said in a doleful voice. "The border is sealed."
"Aleco's making me a key."
"It's too dangerous," she said, grabbing his arm. "I won't let you."
He pulled his arm away, candor in his eyes.
"Gen," he said tiredly. "I—I can't stay. I'm going back to Germany."
She bit her lip.
"Why?" she said quietly, despite the fact she knew perfectly well what he was trying to say.
"You know," he said sorrowfully. "You have to know by now."
"Drake—" she reached for him and he recoiled.
"I'm sorry," he breathed. "But I can't pretend anymore." He ran his hands through his hair and turned away from her.
"Draco—" she reached for him again and he recoiled.
"Please," he breathed. "Please don't."
She'd begun to cry now in earnest.
"I love her, Gen," he pleaded softly. "I always have. I thought I could stop, but I—I can't. I have to go to her. To be with her. I'm sorry, but I can't marry y—"
"I'm pregnant," she blurted.
"What?" he said, colour draining from his face.
"Drake," she said meekly. "I'm pregnant."
"No," he said, mostly to himself. He was quickly growing manic. "This can't be. You're lying."
"I'm not," she begged. "I swear."
"Then prove it," he demanded sadly, grabbing her by the wrist and all but dragging her to the kitchens at the bottom part of the villa. Marina, Petra, Draco, and Myles were already assembled there, and they all looked up as Draco burst in, tugging a teayr Gen behind him.
"What's going on?" Petra said in alarm, taking in Draco's agitated expression and Gen's tear-stained cheeks.
"Sit down," Draco commanded quietly to Gen before disappearing into the adjacent pantry.
"Drake!" Myles said insistently. "What the hell is going on?"
When he didn't answer, everyone turned to Gen expectantly.
"I'm pregnant," she croaked.
"I don't believe you," Aleco snapped. "You're lying."
"I'm not," she squeaked, casting a fearful glance at Draco, who'd just re-emerged carrying a small brass cauldron.
"We'll see about that," Marina snarled.
Draco had already begun brewing a pregnancy potion.
"Give me a lock of your hair," Draco demanded, voice quiet and sorrowful.
Gen plucked one dutifully and handed it to him. They waited the requisite ten minutes, and when it began bubbling as gold as a glass of champagne, Draco turned and drove both hands into his hair.
"I think she ought to take another," Petra said immediately. "We have to be sure."
Gen did as she was bid several more times to the same result.
"Oh gods," Draco pleaded, pacing and tugging his hair. Gen watched him do so in anguish.
"Sit down," Marina commanded, drawing her wand.
"Why?" Gen said fearfully.
"I want to know if you went off the potion and did this on purpose. Sit down."
Gen nodded and extended her arm obediently. Marina muttered several spells before pressing her wand to Gen's right wrist. A light appeared in the vein running up her arm, through her caratoid, and down the other arm. Marina caught it with her wand as it began to fade, flicking her wrist and making a chart appear. She studied it for several seconds as they watched her intently. She took a breath and finally looked at Draco.
"Her hormone levels are consistent with a woman who's been on the potion for years."
Draco buried his head in his hands as tears slipped down Petra and Gen's cheeks in equal volume.
"I—" he croaked finally, looking up. "Can we be alone?"
They all nodded and stood. Marina was resistant, dark eyes blazing as she glared at Gen, but Myles tugged her gently by the wrist.
"C'mon Mari," he said softly, and finally she acquiesced and followed the others out.
When they were truly alone, Draco shook his head, tipping it all the way back to fight off the tears.
"I told you," she said softly. "I didn't plan this. It was just a happy accident. The potion's not infallible."
He grit his teeth in anguish.
"I thought this was what you wanted," she pressed. "I know the timing isn't ideal—"
"Not ideal?" he repeated hollowly. "It's downright cruel."
She bit her trembling lip. This was clearly not what she'd wanted to hear.
"What are we going to do?" Draco said to himself, ignoring her. "What am I going to do?"
"What do you mean?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
He looked up at her.
"I don't love you," he admitted quietly. "I haven't for awhile."
She shook her head.
"How can you say that to me?" she demanded tightly. "After everything we've through and now this," she gestured to the cauldron. "How can you expect me to just accept that?"
"I did love you," he conceded. "I just—it was never going to be enough. I love her too much. I'm sorry."
"She left you!" Genevieve reminded him, finding a bit of fire. "She broke your heart! I was the one who was left to put it back together, or have you forgotten? Are you really going to reward her for ruining your life?"
"Stop!" he cried. "Just—stop. Please. You can't stand here and pretend you understand what she and I have been through! She's the love of my life. You have to have realised that by now."
"Ten months ago you hated her! How quickly they forget!"
"This isn't up for discussion," Draco said imperiously. "I have to be with her. I'll die if I'm not."
He turned towards the door.
"And what about this?" she said tearfully, gesturing to the cauldron again. "You and I both know what it's like to grow up in a warring household. How can you possibly submit your child to that kind of pain?"
Draco froze. She was right. Growing up with his parents had torn him apart. It had made him the bitter man he was today. It had seeped like poison into his very soul, and he would always be crueler for it.
He whirled around, eyes blazing.
"I never meant to trap you," she said, and he grit his teeth because it was true. "But this is real now. You loved me once, and if you would just let yourself, I know you could love me again. Besides, this is what you've always wanted! A family and children, and I'm the only one who can give you that."
"There's more than one path to fatherhood," he said tightly.
"Then you look me in the eye, Draco Malfoy, pureblood prince, and tell me you could love a baby that wasn't yours as much as you could this one, your own flesh and blood."
He grit his teeth and tugged on his hair as he turned away.
"You can't!" she insisted "Because you and I both know, despite everything, how important being a Malfoy is to you!"
"A surrogate, then!" he demanded, and she shook her head.
"You're trying to fight a battle you've already won," she insisted, touching her still flat stomach. "I'm here offering you the one thing you've always wanted most: a pureblood Malfoy heir. Are you really telling me you are going to walk away from that?"
"I never said that!" he demanded. "I'm not going to abandon you, either of you! But we don't have to be together to raise this child together; you know that."
She shook her head.
"No," she said simply. "I won't do it. You're either in or you're out, and if you're out, I will disappear and you will never see me or this baby again."
"Are you fucking threatening me right now?" he demanded.
"I'm telling you how it's going to be," she corrected though tears. "Stay and marry me or lose me and the baby forever."
"You are in no position to be handing down ultimatums," he sneered.
"Am I not?" she said softly, grabbing the portkey Aleco had made. He'd never be able to get to her in time. "I wish it didn't have to be this way, but I love you, and I'm not giving you up without a fight. If this is what it takes, then so be it."
"I don't love you," he repeated quietly, watching her and knowing he would never get to her in time. "I can't make you happy."
"You do love me," she said, half sobbing now. "When the baby comes, you'll remember that."
"Why would you do this to me?" he whispered, visibly distressed. "How can you be this selfish?"
"I'm not," she pleaded. "I am protecting you from a bitter mistake. She doesn't love you, Draco, not like I do, and she can't give you children. I can! Look how easily we got pregnant! Drake, this was meant to be."
"You profess to love me," Draco spit, pained. "But you're threatening to blackmail me into marrying you. What's happened to you? How did you get this selfish and fucked up?"
"She happened!" Gen cried. "She came back here all boobs and batted eyelashes and somehow managed to make you forget all the hurt she's inflicted on you! I saw what she did to you, Drake. You were half-dead, and if her mother hadn't have stepped in, you truly would have died from the heartbreak she caused. But now, despite everything—everything that she's done and everything you and I have shared—you'll still considering leaving me and your unborn child for her!"
"I would never abandon this baby," he said, stepping forward. "You know that!"
"But you have no problem abandoning his mother," she said in a soft, sad voice.
His heart constricted painfully. She knew that even more than a child, he wanted a son, an heir to wipe clean the sins of his father and offer Draco a change to set things right.
"What do you want?" he asked at last.
"A contract," she said, lip still trembling furiously. "You agree not to leave me, and I agree never to keep this baby from you."
His eyes slipped closed, and one rebellious tear slid down his cheek. He relived every conversation he and Leolin ever had about their children or their future, and he remembered her infectious laughter as they stood on the balcony at Malfoy Manor five years ago and watched the Weasley twins fireworks exploding over the chairs that had been set up for the wedding. He pictured the look in her eyes as she lay in his arms in New Orleans, confessing she'd never stopped loving him. Finally he imagined the way he'd felt when he'd held her on the dance floor, sharing in her fantasy of a proper first dance and he fought so visciously not to cry that his stomach was aching.
"Well?" Gen said at last, drawing him from his reverie and almost sheepishly raising her wand to the portkey, preparing to disappear. "What will it be?"
Leolin woke to find she was alone, and it was a relief, however hollow or small. There was a note lying next to her on the bed, but she didn't bother to read it, just balled it angrily in her fist and headed for the kitchen floo, which was burning steadily, despite the fact the traveling grate was closed. She threw it in, watching with satisfaction as it curled into black nothingness. When it had been wholly consumed by the flames, she sank down in from of the fire, blue eyes lit by the searing reds and oranges. She sat there for a good amount of time, long enough for her eyes to begin to ache. As she turned away, she heard a small pop from the meadow that stretched in from of the small cottage.
Her vision was still mottled black and green as she stood, but she heard the lock click and the incantation to keep it firmly shut. She bared her teeth at Max, but when she realised it was Felix, some of the fight bled from her posture, though her eyes were no less fierce.
"Bichette—" he began dolefully, but she shook her head to silence him.
"Don't you dare call me that," she sneered. "You gave up that right last night when you pushed Kelly to the very gates of Hell.
"Leolin—"
"I loved you," she whispered, tears forming. "I trusted you, and in return you stabbed me in the back!"
"No," he said at once. "I never meant to! Leolin, I love you more than anything. You know that."
"If that was really true," she shot back. "You would never have betrayed Kelly!"
"I didn't betray him. I—he can do this, Leolin, and when he succeeds, we are all going to be better for it."
"Even Cara?" Leolin spit. "You really think she's going to be grateful while she waits on pins and needles for Kelly to come home. And even when he does, if he does, we have no idea what condition he'll be in."
"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I never intended to hurt you."
"What do intentions matter?" she snarled. "You did hurt me! First you lied to me and took advantage of my love for you so you could blindside me, then you were too ashamed to face me, so you left me to be preyed on by Brankovitch! Did he tell you what went down here last night?"
He bowed his head.
"Yes."
"You're a fucking coward," she spit. "And I will never forgive you for what he coaxed me into doing last night."
"If I'd known," he defended. "If I'd even suspected that Max would do something misguided like that, I never would have let him near you. Please tell me you know that."
"You shouldn't have let him come here at all!" Leolin cried, wiping at tears. "After what had happened, it was you that should have been here to comfort me, to protect me. Instead I had to listen to Max defend Gen's 'right' to Draco before falling prey to his Amelia fantasies. Can you see how that broke me? Being used like that?"
"He didn't mean to hurt you," Felix said softly. "I know he didn't."
"What does that fucking matter? I was vulnerable and drunk out of mind, and he took advantage of that. Do you have any idea how violated I feel?"
"I'm sorry," he choked. "I should have been here."
"Like I said," she snapped. "How dare you come in here and profess to love me. You don't. You can't. You're broken and selfish and you're incapable of loving anyone properly."
"I'm glad we aren't blood related," she sneered. "I would be ashamed to be your sister."
He was crying now outright, and he took a step towards her even as she recoiled.
"What can I do," he pleaded. "To make things right?"
"Nothing," she snarled. "From this moment forward, you're dead to me."
"Leolin—" he began, but she shook her head in disgust, shouldering roughly past him and leaving him to cry alone.
She went to the cramped den instead, sinking in front of the fire again and wishing she could give herself to the flames. She never felt more hollow or alone, and she yearned for something, anything, to dull the pain. She reached a hand to the fire, intended to stick it in. However, even as the first flame licked her index figure, the flame flashed green, and the pain ceased. She screamed in surprise before beginning to sob when she recognised Severina's face in the floo.
"Ri!" she croaked. "Oh gods, Severina."
Severina instantly began to cry as well, and she could barely choke out her comforting words.
"I'm here, cariña," she bit out, dark eyes full of glassy tears. "I'm here."
"Help me," Leolin begged. "Please."
"Leolin," Severina sobbed. "My Leolin."
"Take me home," Leolin said with a shuddering breath. "Take me home!"
"I can't," Severina said. "I can't open the portal. Adrian is scouring the countryside for you. He has every single of his men looking. It's too dangerous. As soon as its safe, we're coming.."
"Don't leave me here," Leolin sobbed more vigourly. "I can't do this alone anymore."
Severina was breaking down completely.
"Leolin," she begged. "I love you. I never should have left without you! Please, I'm so sorry. I promise we're coming. We won't leave you."
Xavier appeared now, holding Severina as she melted to the floor.
"Leolin," he croaked. Leolin had never seen him cry, but he was crying now without shame. "We love you. We're coming for you as soon as we can. Please, I know we have no right to ask, but just hold on. Stay strong just a little longer."
Leolin nodded. She didn't have it in her to be angry with them. She loved them too fiercely, and her heart couldn't hold any more hate."
"Xav," she begged, holding her palm out. He mimicked her action, and even touching his phantom soothed her.
"Don't give up, cariña. We're coming for you."
"I love you!" she cried as they began to fade, and Xavy nodded.
"I love you, too. Keep the faith tesora. We...are...com...ing..."
The flames were fading to orange again, and she crumpled to the carpet, tumbling headlong into an insideous darkness. She was was barely aware of the tread on the soft fibers, but when she felt Felix sinking to her side, cradling her, she didn't push him away. In fact, she pushed closer, seeking his warmth and comfort.
"It's alright," he breathed, stroking her hair and kissing the tears from the corners of her eyes. "Leolin, look at me." she did. "It's going to be alright. I'm here. I'll protect you."
She nodded, dropping her head into his lap again as she continued to sob. Every tear seemed to be draining her, and as they slowed, she felt herself falling back into a numbing slumber. She woke up to find Felix coming to her side again and touching her cheek.
"I have to go," he said somewhat urgently. He was dressed in all black with a knife and his wand strapped it his belt.
"What?" she croaked.
"Sweeney flooed. He has the location of the coins. We have to move."
"I'm coming with you."
"No," he said at once. "You've been through a lot. You're too weak."
She pushed his hand off roughly.
"Don't tell me how I feel," she snapped, adreneline driving the pain into retreat. She trapped it as it fled, locking it into a chest and casting the chest into the crushing deep of her subconscious. It still ached, thousands of pounds of mental pressure pushing against it, but suddenly she had the strength to stand.
"Leolin—"
"I can't just stay here," she snarled, remember how much she hated him again. "I'll die if I do."
He surveyed her critically. She really was the most resilient person he knew. Finally he nodded.
"Okay," he said. "How quickly can you be ready?"
"Ten minutes," she said with determination.
He nodded again and she fled to the bedroom, arming herself for the task. She too wore all black. When she re-emerged, he looked up.
"Wand?" she said.
He hesitated before tossing it to her. She slid it into the holster strapped to her thigh and took a deep breath.
"How are we getting there?"
He looked grim.
"What do you know about leap-frogging?"
He meant apparating through several borders to avoid official detection. The risk of splicing was high, but the payoff from successfully doing it was often worth the trouble.
"I'm an international criminal. Everything. Where are we going?"
He turned, giving her a meaningful look.
"Paris."
She didn't ask where, because she was sure she already knew. She watched as he lowered the wards and extended a hand to her. She gave him a smouldering look. They were in a long, dangerous night. He nodded, she took his hand, and they disappeared.
The long corridor of the Louvre museum iwas dark and deserted, the only light pouring eerily in from the skylights above, the moonlight casting looming shadows on the marble floor.
Leolin turned, eyes alight as she took in Sweeney and Effie, who were waiting for her. Sweeney gave a crooked smile.
"Welcome home, genie."
