Trigger warnings: Violent flashback, murder and miscarriage scare
I accidentally set myself into a deep depression when writing this chapter, and that's why I took so long to post it. Please, if ANY of the things listed have affected your life or the life of a loved one, read with caution. This story's aim is not depression, but overcoming… But, we all know that sometimes, everything doesn't turn out right for the people we care about, even if things go well for us. I actually had to take some things out because I literally couldn't keep reading them to edit. So, it's toned down more than what it was. Hopefully I didn't cheapen the seriousness of everything addressed here.
Don't Make Me Over 28
Sheila groaned as she tried to cover up her bruises with the makeup. It was not working out, like not even a little, not even at all. She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands. She saw them covered in blood and dropped her makeup bag to wash them, even though they were clean. "Shit!" She hissed. Stevie rushed in and looked and she said, "I'm fine. I just… kind of freaked out a little."
"You really ought to tell Jonesy you can't make it," he said. "You aren't ready to be out and about, Honeybee."
"I have to be there for Jonesy. I have to at least do that much. You don't know how hard it is to actually tell people something like this, especially for someone like Jonesy, whose spent most of her life locking things inside of herself. I'm not going to fail another one of my friends."
Stevie came up behind her, wrapping her waist in his arms and making eye contact with her reflection, "You didn't fail Shad. One of the last memories she had of you was you putting yourself in harm's way to try to help her. A lot of people wouldn't do that, even for a friend or relative, Honeybee." He kissed her on the cheek and she nodded her head, but she still hurt. She hurt, SO bad…
Jonesy remained seated, in her outfit as Kurt, Rachel, Sam and Santana helped to set things up. She and Santana had not really talked much since she found out that Santana had guessed what happened to her, but since she already did know, Sam enlisted her help in setting up because, "Jonesy's gonna have to just take it as easy as possible. The announcement is gonna be hard enough on her. Days had passed since Sam got that call about Shadonza and he wanted to wait until not only this thing was over with, but she was at least fine with knowing that it was off of her chest before filling her in. He wouldn't be too late. All he needed was until tomorrow, maybe.
She posted herself at the window, watching people arrive. Unique came alone, as she asked. She just wasn't comfortable enough with any of Unique's little love interests to have them around, at a time like this. Jesse and Blaine had grabbed some things for Rachel and Kurt and came in Jesse's vehicle. They both came in and greeted her with hugs and kisses. Jesse sat down next to her and asked, "Need company?"
"I could use it. Sam is making me more stressed out by him stressing out about me not stressing out," she complained.
Jesse laughed a little and reminded her, "This is his first kid…" he looked at her baby bump sadly and mentioned, "Ours would have been 12 this year." Jesse cleared his throat and added, "And had it been a girl, I would be stressing you out every day about her becoming a young lady and possibly kissing boys!"
"How do you know that she wasn't going to be a lesbian?" She asked.
"I don't. I don't even know if she would have been a she." He reached out and touched her bump. "I just know that I would probably have been as flustered as Sam if you had gotten this far along with ours. Just… give the guy a break."
"Break his skinny little butt," she muttered, causing Jesse to laugh. "I think that maybe I need to eat something. Can you just grab me a sandwich or something?"
"Sure." Jonesy felt so dizzy and she was getting a headache. She just wanted to get this over with. She would have sent them all facebook messages if she didn't think that they would have all just come rushing to the house, anyway. Plus, this was something to say face to face, so that they could see its truth. It was heavy, but it had to happen.
Tina and Mike had picked Artie up. Puck arrived around the same time as Azimio and Dave did. Puck didn't bring Quinn and Sam claimed that he was "done with her." Jonesy was relieved that everyone was following the instructions – not bringing anyone extra and coming on time. By the time Mike, Tina, Kurt, Blaine, Unique, Rachel. Jesse, Santana, Brittany, Puck, Artie, Dave and Azimio were all there, Sam announced, "Everyone's here, Jones."
She looked around and didn't see any of her group therapy members, not even Sheila and she held her belly a moment. "None of the girls are here? Not even Sheila…"
"Sheila might not be able to make it. Some stuff came up, and the others never said, so…" Sam said. She whimpered and he held her free hand, "I'm here, and everybody here is your friend."
"Yeah, but Sheila, though… I should at least call her and check on her," she said.
"No, no… just… let's get this handled and then you can call her,' he said. She nodded and sat in the center of the room, while people ate and stuff.
Artie started out by saying, "Sorry about your friend. I saw her on the news."
"What friend?" She asked, but Sam threw Artie a look.
Artie simply said, "You know what, let's just see what you wanted to tell us. We can talk about that later, or whatever." He shrugged his shoulders at Sam and Jonesy gave Sam a look. Sam simply gave her a reassuring nod. But she was gonna get to the bottom of whatever the hell that was, later.
Jonesy messed with her hands and said, "I know that a few of you know some bits and pieces of stuff and in recent times, from what I understand, Finn has become a little bit more verbal about certain things, for example, there is a rumor out there that my baby may possibly be Finn's…"
"I never heard no shit like that!" Puck shouted, angrily.
Sam said, "Calm down, Puck… Shut the fuck up. No interruptions."
Jonesy cleared her throat and said, "I know that a lot of you all were mad with Finn after the night that he attacked me. I know that a few of you wanted to kick the shit out of him." Puck nodded his head vigorously, folding his arms. "Most of all me. I fucked his car up and I wanted to mess him up, so bad… but I knew that no matter what I did, I could never make it better, what he did to me."
"I never got my hands on him," Puck said.
"Puck!" Sam called and waved his hands to indicate that he needed to shut up.
Jonesy took a deep breath and said, "You guys watched as I disappeared, drifted away, then I resurfaced and I had all of these strange new friends that I was introducing you to and Britt asked me if I'd run away and joined a cult," she chuckled.
"I was only kidding," Brittany whispered.
"It's cool. I want to explain what happened, because I don't know how much of an issue its gonna be in the future, as far as this baby is concerned and it's stressing me out to continue holding on to this…"
"Jonesy, you don't have to do this," Azimio said.
"I do. I'll go crazy if I don't. I need as much support as I can get if he continues to try to fight me…"
"If who? Finn?" Tina asked.
"Let her speak, please?" Santana asked. Tina turned to look at Santana and they began to fuss a little bit about how she was talking to her and that caused others to try to calm them down and others to insist that Jonesy be allowed to talk. Jonesy decided that it was probably best to just get it out, before she panicked and dismissed herself and never told the truth.
"He raped me," she said and the room became silent after a heartbeat, when everyone realized what had just been said. Jonesy took a deep swallow and lowered her head. There was NO WAY that she could look up at them with her mask taken off at a time like this. Her breathing was hard. She felt hot, sick, a headache. There was a second wave of explosions.
"WHAT?" She heard Tina say. "HE DID WHAT?" Mike started trying to calm her down, as it was obvious that Jonesy was highly upset.
"So, not only is he a fucking woman beater, but he rapes them as well? I should sign up for a visit at the jail and just shank the shit out of him!" Puck exploded. Brittany was merely crying, in shock. Rachel and Kurt both went to see about Jonesy, amidst this chaos. Sam was still by her side until Dave and Puck started arguing. "You were supposed to always have her back and shit, don't you two usually handle things like this? Why is that fucker not in a fucking wheelchair?"
"You have a lot of talk for somebody who hasn't ever been there for her, ever," Dave commented and Azimio jumped in the middle, warning Puck to back off of Dave. Sam went to see about them and there was a knock on the door. The only person who seemed to notice the knocking at the moment was a still trembling Jesse, who decided to open it for them and saw Sam's brother and Sheila. Jesse stepped out of the way for them to enter.
Sheila rushed in, "Sorry I'm late, but I'm here, Jonesy!" She went to hug her and Jonesy stared at her in shock and horror.
"What happened to your face?" Jonesy asked as the grumbling continued.
"Oh, I got into a scruffle with somebody," Sheila said. "You already told them? I thought you would've waited on me. I texted. I guess you didn't get it."
"A scruffle, bitch? Explain! Were YOU in the news? Because somebody said something about heard what happened to my friend…" Jonesy said, holding her stomach, now.
"We can talk about it later," Sheila said. "You okay? You hurting? You need something?"
Jonesy began crying as she stood up and shrieked, "All of you, SHUT UP!" Her breathing was labored and now everyone was worried and crowded her to check on her and tried to calm her, but they were making things worse. This was a disaster. Sheila got shoved aside during this and said to Stevie, "I shouldn't have come, like you said. On top of Shad dying, I wasn't ready to be here."
"On top of what?" Jonesy asked, looking at her. Sheila jumped and whispered to Stevie Is she talking to me? He nodded, exchanging worried looks. Sam was trying to get everyone to give Jonesy space and there was a lot of clamor, so he couldn't even hear these side conversations occurring. Jonesy was still crying as it hit her that Sheila had said that Shadonza was dead. Sheila was all beat up. It was Shad's ex, it HAD to be… And Finn was just as crazy. What if he were to come for her? What if he hurt the baby? She felt dizzy, then she saw nothing else.
"Oh my God!" She heard, muffled then noise, then nothing.
Rachel's outcry was enough to tear Sam's attention from the shitstorm in the living room, but when he turned and saw Mercedes, his heart sank. She had fallen backwards and Rachel and Sheila were holding onto her so that she wouldn't hit the floor, but her eyes were fluttering, she seemed frozen, except for the uncontrollable shaking of her left hand and her head. "Call 911!" Rachel screamed. Sam was rushing to Mercedes as Tina quickly pulled out her phone and dialed.
"What happened?" He wondered.
"She fell back and was doing this," Sheila sobbed. Sam and Stevie helped to lower her to the floor, so she wouldn't be dropped. "What's happening? Is this a heartache or a stroke or something?" Sheila asked. "Oh my God, Jonesy… please!"
Sam shook his head, "I don't know, but please be quiet." When the others started to gather around them, he yelled, "NO! Stay back. Just, stay back and please, will all of you shut the fuck up?" He cradled her and tried to make her hand stop shaking. "Jonesy, baby… Can you talk? Can you tell me what's wrong?" His voice was trembling as he asked.
"She's having a seizure," Stevie said, helping Sam to position her better.
"A seizure? She doesn't have seizures!" Sam shouted.
"Everyone who does had to have a first one," Stevie said.
"Are they on their way?" Sam yelled out. Tina nodded, still on the phone. "For fuck's sakes, did you tell them that she's pregnant?"
"Yes, Sam! I told them everything I know," Tina said, sternly. She fumed and turned her back to him. "Yes, someone said that they think she might be having a seizure. No, no history of seizures…"
"Stevie, how bad is it for her to have a seizure while she's pregnant?" Sam asked.
"I don't know, Sammy," he said. "I'm sorry."
Mostly everyone followed them to the hospital. Sam was a blur when he called Godfrey. The man answered the phone so cheerily that for a moment, Sam didn't even want to speak. He cleared his throat and said, "Godfrey, its Sam."
"Hey, Sam. Everything alright?" He asked, concerned.
"No…" Sam fought off tears that were stinging his eyes. "Jonesy… Mercedes is in the hospital."
"What? Is it the baby?"
Sam's voice could barely come out, "She's had a seizure and they can't get her to regain consciousness."
"Oh my God… Ryvie… Mercy… She had a seizure… Sam! We're on our way. You hang in there, alright?"
"Yeah, course," Sam said and hung up. He squeezed his phone tightly and almost threw it down the hallway, but instead just groaned and fell back against the wall to slide and sit on the floor. He fought, hard not to let tears come out. He wanted to just have faith and be strong. He told her to fucking take it easy. He TOLD her, over and over, again… and all of these fucking people! She didn't even owe them an explanation, and yet, all they did was make the shit more stressful for her and fucking Sheila! He knew that Sheila didn't mean to, but she was supposed to just shut the fuck up until they had a chance to let Mercedes know, gently about her friend.
The combined bullshit, along with her already stressful fucking situation… "God, please, don't take her from me. Neither of them… I couldn't live without either of them, now." He slammed his head backwards, against the wall and asked, "Why do you hate her so much? Hasn't she already had to go through enough? Just… let me love her, now… If you don't, please, just let me. I didn't mean to say all that. Please don't be mad and decide to take her…" The tears poured down his face and he openly sobbed.
Sheila was going to go to him, but Stevie stopped her. "I don't want him to reflexively take a swing," he told her. Stevie went to sit next to Sam and reached out for him. Sam fell over onto his younger brother and cried. "She's gonna be fine, Sam. They got to her in time."
"And the baby?" Sam wondered.
"I don't know… But, maybe it's for the…"
"Don't." Sam looked up at him with glaring eyes, "Don't you dare finish that sentence." Stevie nodded and pushed Sam's head back onto himself. He took one of Sam's hands into his and rubbed his shoulder with the other. When Stevie was little and sad, Sam would do this for him. The last time had been a few years ago when Stevie and Kitty's relationship came to light and Sam told him, 'I'm always gonna be here for you. No matter what, you're my brother.' It was Sam's turn. Sheila could hardly take the image and she sat in a chair and shut her eyes to try to block it out, but she kept seeing everything that was going wrong!
She and Shadonza had only stopped by her mother's for a few minutes, so he had to be lurking there, already. How he found Shad's mom's new house was a shock to them, because the woman moved in order to keep up communication with Shad, after shit hit the fan and she had to go into hiding. By the time that they came out of the house, there he was, anger in his eyes, with balled fists. "Where is my fucking baby, Shadonza?" He asked.
"What baby?" She asked him, trying to rush to the car, but he cut her off.
"You know what fucking baby! My damn baby that you've managed to keep me from, then turned around and gave away!" He yelled.
Sheila stepped forward, "Hey, Dude. Look, she don't have any baby, okay? Just let us be on our way. You're trippin'."
"Bitch… don't you ever get in between a man and his woman!" He snapped at her. Sheila chuckled and headed for the car, shaking her head while Shadonza went off on him.
"Lawrence, you don't talk to my friends like that! I am not your woman! We've BEEN over and I have a restraining order on you, in case you forgot. You're not supposed to be anywhere near me and the baby that's supposedly yours, it ain't none of my concern. I had a baby on my own and I gave it to some people who deserved one, which you don't…" He slapped her in the face and she shoved him off.
Sheila got out of the car and screamed, "Hey!" She called the police. Even if someone else was already calling, she called, still. Shadonza and the guy were fist fighting!
She rushed over as he started choking her friend, demanding, "Tell me where my fucking baby is!" Sheila clawed at his hands to get him to release Shad. It worked… He let out a pained growl, then punched Sheila in the side of the head, knocking her into the car, then smashed her face into the roof of the car, which split her head open and dropped her to her hands and knees. When he looked like he was going for Sheila again, claiming, "I warned you, Bitch…" Shadonza roared and rushed him, slamming him against the car to stop him. "And you!" He said, turning to grab her and throw her against the car, turning the tables. He really didn't say much more. He seemed to have made it up in his mind that all he wanted now was to hurt her. So, he punched her, and he didn't stop. Even when she was obviously done, obviously over, he just kept hitting her…
Sheila shook her head as her eyes flew open. Stevie looked worried as he looked up at her. He didn't want to leave Sam, but Sheila was… his love. She forced a sad smile in his direction, cleared her throat and got up. She came over and said, "I'm gonna go get some water. I'll bring you some, too." She reached out for his hand and he squeezed hers and smiled softly. "I'll bring Sam some, too." Stevie looked at Sam, but Sam wasn't responsive. His feet were moving around nervously and he was gnawing on his lips and trembling under Stevie's arm. He had too much on his mind. Stevie nodded, though and let go of Sheila's hand so that she could make that trip.
"I'll walk with you," Rachel said. The two of them headed through the hallway and Rachel told her, "I have a bag that we can just put bottles of water in for everyone. I still can't believe this happened." Tears welled up in her eyes and Sheila almost told her to shut up and leave her alone – which was really why she had left, to be alone.
Instead, she said, "Hopefully, she'll be alright."
Rachel bit her lip and nodded. Sheila looked at her, "You… the guy that attacked Jonesy and you were in something… Did you ever worry that he might come after you again? I mean… Like… I don't know if it's something like he would come after Jonesy and leave you be or if he would come after you both. I guess I'm trying to get into the mind of a fucking psychopath, for a moment."
"I'm sorry. I don't know. I think that he's obsessed with Jonesy. I was just someone that he took his anger out on, over her. But, I do know that if Finn were to come after Jonesy, Sam would defend her. You don't have to worry about that… I'm sorry about your friend."
Sheila sighed and folded her arms, "She knew. At the end, it was like… I could tell she knew he was going to come for her, or she was at least worried about it and I kept reassuring her that it wouldn't happen." Sheila scoffed, "The first person to be murdered in the New Year… like that shit is an award or something. They stopped at a vending machine that had bottles of water and accepted cards. Rachel volunteered to get them. She didn't say anything else to Sheila. She didn't know what TO say. That was good. Sheila didn't want to hear shit.
Shadonza and Dottie were shooting the breeze. Shad was telling Dottie all about her friend that Dottie had only had the chance to meet when she came around the graveyard. Sheila called out, "Shad!" And tried to run to them but, something was keeping her away from them. Shad looked at her, sadly, but then smiled and said, "You can't come where I am, Booski. Stay where you are! It's a good place. I would've stayed. I just couldn't." Sheila cried and touched the barrier. "Look, I'll take care of your girl Dottie and she'll take care of me. How about that?" Sheila backed away, sniffling. Dottie smiled at her and waved her fingers. She sadly waved to them, too… until someone else came up behind her and she saw a hand going through the barrier. "Jonesy, no…" Sheila begged.
Jonesy looked at her and smiled and said, "Sheils – none of us have control over things like this." She moved forward, going through the barrier, but Sheila latched on to her and wouldn't let go.
"Fuck this shit! I'm not watching anybody else leave me without me joining them!" She insisted. Jonesy touched her arms and walked through with her, but moments later, Sheila was ejected from the barrier and the other three were on the other side.
"Take care of Sam, for me," Jonesy said.
"No!"
Sheila jumped up and yelped, "No!" Stevie rubbed her shoulder and she took a deep breath. She didn't remember dozing off, but she had. She asked Stevie, "Where's Sam?"
"He's in the room with her family," Stevie said.
"Is she awake?" She wondered, setting up straight.
"I don't know. I just know that they said she's stable," Stevie said.
"That's… okay right… like… not gonna die status, huh?" Sheila asked.
Stevie smiled and told her, "So far, yeah. If something else happens, I can't say. For the moment, 'not gonna die status' is precisely where she is." Sheila squeezed his hand and he kissed the back of hers. "I'm gonna be here for you, Honeybee… whatever happens."
Jonesy opened her eyes to see Sam holding Ra and heard him say, "She's as pretty as a princess, just like you." She blinked a few times and finally was able to focus on them and saw that his eyes were bloodshot and she knew he'd been crying, though he was smiling. "And now, she awakens." Ra reached for Mercedes, but Sam brought her closer to himself. "Oh, but she can't hold you right now. She's hurting."
"What the hell happened?" Jonesy croaked.
"You had a seizure," Godfrey told her, but when she looked worried assured her, "You're fine, Babycakes is fine… they just have to keep you for observation."
"How did I have a seizure? I thought that only people with some kind of condition had seizures," she said.
The doctor explained something called 'eclampsia' to her and why they didn't realize that she might be likely to have a seizure – because there really were no tests to determine that sort of thing. They could try to alleviate the symptoms that she had been having – high blood pressure, headaches, upper abdominal pain, muscle aches and blurred vision she had been dealing with… but all of those things could have meant many other things and there were a few other symptoms that she didn't have, so knowing for sure that this would happen was impossible, but – now that they knew it had happened, they could better formulate a way for her to be alright.
"Is Mercury okay, though?" Jonesy asked, touching her belly as she did. Ryvie pursed her lips at the name. She was really running with that hippy ass pagan name? Honestly? The doctor told her that there was some distress from the baby and they were waiting on results of tests to figure out if there was any permanent damage that could be detected. But, her vitals were fine. Jonesy took a deep breath. "Is anybody else here?" She wondered.
"The waiting room is full of random scruffy people that I have never met before, and Jesse," Ryvie commented.
"Everyone's here," Sam told her, quickly cutting Ryvie off. The woman had been irritable and irate with mostly everyone when they couldn't get Jonesy to respnd and even threatened one of the male nurse's anatomy. Sam didn't want her mood bleeding over. Jonesy didn't need it, right now. "We love you, Jonesy. Where else would we be?"
She smiled a little and said, "I should have sent out a mass text, about that issue." She and Sam laughed a little bit. "So… um… Shad?" She gave him a look.
Sam sighed feeling guilty, but still justified. "I was going to tell you after the announcement. I didn't want all of that piled up on you at once, and judging by what happened, I wasn't wrong in trying to spare you additional stress."
"No, but what about services and all of that?" She asked.
"I wouldn't recommend going to something like that in your condition, Merce," Godfrey said. "We can just send the family something nice, but you aren't going to be able to do anything for a while and what you are able to do should be relaxing. A funeral or wake or any of that will only upset you."
Sam nodded, "Don't worry, she wasn't going. I might tie her to the bed for the next three months and feed her until she gets the itis over and over to keep her subdued." Jonesy burst into laughter and then held herself when she did, causing Sam to dart towards her belly and wonder, "You okay?" One of his arms kept Ra tightly and the other hand checked on Babycakes.
Her eyes widened, "Yes, goodness… you're gonna be worse than you were before, now, aren't you?"
"You're damn skippy! I thought I was gonna watch my wife and baby die today. You gets no kind of leeway for me to go through that again," Sam said, seriously.
"Dropped the "W" bomb," Godfrey said and held his hand out to Ryvie for some cash.
"You two do things like this, just all the time?" Jonesy asked, shaking her head.
"For every debate, there is a winner and a loser," Ryvie told her. Godfrey and I have a lot of debates and to make them more interesting, we put our money where our mouths are. It's mostly to entertain ourselves and keep things between us playful and light." She smiled at him and said, "And he said a WHILE back that Sam was going to haul off and call you his wife one day. I gave Sam more credit than that. Never again, Sam. Never again."
"Leave my husband alone, Mom," Jonesy said and winked at Sam.
"You heffer," Ryvie said, shaking her head. She looked at Godfrey and told him, "I'm cleaned out, Godfrey. You accept kisses in place of cash?"
"Noooo!" Mercedes exaggerated, covering her eyes with her hands. Sam laughed and kissed her on the temple.
"Surely you know how you and Ra were born, right? I didn't plant you two," Ryvie said, settling on the edge of the bed and taking Ra off of Sam's hands.
"I want to thank everyone for coming," Jonesy said, concerned about her friends.
"I'll do it. You just have to rest and get better, for me, if not for yourself. I need you. I need both of you," Sam told her, trying not to start crying, again, though his emotions were being stirred as he thought about how he felt earlier when he thought that they were going to leave them. Jonesy reached out and cupped his cheek with one of her hands. "I was really scared. I prayed and everything… well, sort of."
"I'm sorry that I scared you, but I'm fine right now," she said.
"The condition that you have is serious. It could be fatal to you or to Babycakes and we need to make sure that we do everything to prevent anything else happening. I already told Unique that you can't help her like you've been doing…"
"Sam!" Jonesy complained.
"No. I left it up to you before and you refused to take it easy. You don't know how to take things easy. So, she'll have to moderate how she handles your work load, IF you even can go back. This is really important, Jonesy…" Sam practically begged.
"I know. I'll do whatever it takes, Sam." She gave him a small smile. His face was still worried, but at least she knew that he would be okay as long as she was okay.
