Walking into Spiderwebs 4
Part 1: YSEMF CH 62
Part 2: YSEMF CH 66
Part 3: YSEMF CH 68
"What do you think you're doing?" Snyder demanded as he inwardly grinned, happy to have finally caught one of Summers' gang doing something illicit.
Xander winced, but Tony simply grabbed the Principal by the throat and slammed him against the lockers. "We are doing something you have already done," Tony growled out, before letting him drop to the floor. "The doctors detected a lingering trace of radioactivity in the students' blood, which means we have to find and remove the source of the contamination before it becomes public knowledge."
"Wh-what!?" the principal stuttered out, climbing to his feet.
"How do you think the mayor would respond to the press getting wind of this?" Tony demanded, making Snyder pale. "Avoid the school gym for the next couple of hours and remember... we were never here."
Snyder nodded once before fleeing back the way he'd came.
Xander stared at his father whose stern expression melted into an easy grin. "Being a mercenary lets you get away with a whole lot more than being a hero. Your Mom would have had to have been polite and calmly explain what was going on before getting his permission to solve the problem."
"Your way was way better," Xander said with a grin.
"You should see how effective it is when I'm wearing a skull mask with a built in voice changer," Tony told him, heading towards the school gym with Xander quickly following. "You can do a lot of good work pretending to be a bad guy."
"I could do even more having a couple of different outfits, so I could play either part as needed," Xander pointed out.
"That means developing at least two completely different personas and limiting your use of skills and powers to differentiate them further from one another," Tony warned him.
"Which, while difficult, leaves me with a couple of aces to play if it ever becomes necessary," Xander said.
"You've put some thought into this," Tony said surprised, as he opened the door to the school gym.
"Me and Jesse used to argue over whether being the hero or the villain was more fun and how using a villain ID to rob criminals to pay for all your hero gear made more sense than wasting your time at a nine to five job when you should be out helping people," Xander explained. "So, I suppose I have put a lot of thought into it."
"Shame about him vanishing. I suppose a vamp got him," Tony said honestly, but with some sympathy.
"He got turned and I staked him, partially on accident," Xander admitted.
"Well at least you gotta feel good about freeing what there was left of him and protecting his parents from it," Tony said turning on the Geiger counter. "If it was me, I know I'd want someone to protect my family and end my suffering."
"He wasn't actually in there," Xander said. "The soul leaves so the demon can enter." He'd stopped angsting over events long ago, though it was still a bit upsetting to think about. "Giles, Buffy's Watcher, explained it to me."
"Yeah? Well I had Doc Strange explain it to me and he said a link remains between the body and the soul that the demon uses to allow it to pretend to be them and that link prevents the soul from reaching its eternal reward and resting in peace," Tony replied. "Me personally, I tend to believe the Sorcerer Supreme on these things."
"Sorcerer Supreme?" Xander asked as they entered the gym.
Tony slowly waved the makeshift Geiger counter back and forth while they talked, listening for a reaction. "The head magic guy for our dimension. He prevents major invasions and demonic outbreaks."
"Surprised we don't see him around here then," Xander said, feeling better about staking Jesse, even though he wasn't sure his father was right.
"This way," Tony said, heading for the locker room. "I've heard he spends a lot of time sending his spirit to do it and jumping to other realms, so he could have been here dozens of times and no one would know."
"An invisible sorcerer could explain some of the things that happen around here," Xander admitted.
"Showers," Tony said as they searched. "Looks like an emitter rather than a ray. The bad news is it probably raised the chances of the students to get cancer a bit, but the good news is that it won't cause any little Hulks to spring up." Tony followed the readings to the central drain in the shower room and set the Geiger counter down. Taking a multi-tool off his belt he used it to unscrew and remove the drain cover, revealing what they were looking for.
"A glow stick?" Xander asked.
"Two part formula that requires mixing to release gamma radiation," Tony replied. "Low yield, lasts for months, and is easily overlooked." He twirled the softly glowing cylinder in his hand. "You can buy and take apart a glow-stick pretty easily, making it a lot more sensible to use than anything you'd have to waste time and money designing yourself." He tucked it in his pocket and screwed the drain cover back in place.
"Dad, aren't you irradiating your nads?" Xander asked, with a frown.
"We're both radiation proof," he reminded him.
"Oh yeah," Xander said perking up.
"I know it takes some getting used to, but you'll adapt," Tony assured him, picking up the Geiger counter and scanning the area with it for additional sources.
"I'm lovin' it so far," Xander admitted.
"And it only gets better," Tony said with a grin. "Speaking of which, I need to give you the Talk."
Despite the lack of squeaks from the Geiger counter Tony was leading them to the girl's locker room, Xander noted. "You already gave me the Talk."
"Yes, however this is the spider version," Tony explained.
"Like, don't use your pheromones to seduce girls?" Xander asked.
"Why would I tell you that?" Tony asked as he turned off the Geiger counter after a few waves and walked over to the girl's showers to check the drain, finding a gamma glow-stick in the same place.
"Because it's taking advantage of them," Xander said. "How did you know that would be there, and why isn't it glowing?"
"Taking advantage?" Tony asked before shaking his head. "It's no more taking advantage than a big breasted girl wearing a low cut blouse is taking advantage of people. It encourages what already exists, it doesn't make people want you. Do you know what effect it has on lesbians?"
"It has a different effect on lesbians?" Xander replied surprised.
"And gay guys," his father agreed. "The pheromones stimulate the mating instincts at a greater range than normal people's, but it doesn't change them. Lesbians will still reject you and gay guys hit on you."
"Good," Xander said as his father pocketed the second gamma glow-stick. "Being chased by the entire female population of Sunnydale is not fun."
"But it was funny," Tony admitted with a grin. "No, my advice is mainly a list of do's and don'ts that I've put together to avoid accidentally affecting the people around you."
"Like when I'm working out," Xander said as he thought about what happened earlier.
"Lingers on the clothes like you wouldn't believe," Tony agreed as he looked around curiously.
"What?" Xander asked as his father examined their surroundings.
"Nothing," Tony replied with a shrug, "I've just never been in a high school girl's locker room before. It's a lot cleaner than the boy's side."
"It is," Xander agreed, having been in it investigating suspicious events before. "How'd you know the emitter would be there?" he tried to change the subject.
"I didn't know it would be there, but a good investigator always looks for patterns and the odds are good that if he was dosing the boy's team he would eventually get around to dosing the girl's. He simply hid the inactive emitter where he planned on activating it," he explained.
Xander smiled, happy to be learning what was apparently the family trade from his father.
"But back to the spiders and the flies talk," Tony said cheerfully making Xander groan. "Masturbating in the shower before you manage to control your venom blasts lead to hilarious consequences, which we will tease you about, before making you replace the tiling."
"What?!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"The stars are in alignment and the portents are favorable," one monk noted.
"I'll notify the abbot to begin the ritual," the other agreed.
The ritual only took two hours, ending a guardianship that spanned centuries.
"And that's our purpose fulfilled," the abbot said with a smile." Let's put the place to torch and scatter to the four winds."
"I'm thinking of joining the Order of Truth in Greece," one of the monks said thoughtfully. "What are your thoughts on the matter?" he asked the, now former, abbot.
"Vegas," the abbot said happily, startling the man.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Dawn rolled her eyes as Xander's mom finished the birds and bees talk she'd been having with Buffy and Cordelia. It was insulting how they expected her to not know what they were talking about just because they changed a few words around, but as long as it allowed her to listen in she would happily play dumb.
The sound of the front door opening caused Dawn to spin around. Knowing what was coming Buffy tried to grab her, but missed as Dawn sidestepped and used the coffee table as a step to launch herself towards Xander.
Tony caught the twelve year old girl as he opened the door and grinned. "A might small. I think I'll have to throw you back."
Dawn giggled.
"I think that one's mine," Xander said, missing the way Dawn's eyes lit up as he claimed her.
Tony caught it but didn't say a thing as he passed her over to Xander and she wrapped herself around him.
"How did things go?" Jessica asked.
"Found a pair of gamma ray emitters, one unused," Tony replied. "Poked around a bit in the coach's office, but the only thing we discovered there is a lot of dust and cobwebs. I think we'll have to hit his house if we expect to find anything good."
"Ouch," Dawn complained smacking herself on the leg. "Mosquito," she reported, tightening her grip on Xander as Buffy tried futilely to pry her off.
Xander laughed and dodged Buffy's hands, making Dawn giggle, while Cordelia watched amused.
"It's getting kind of late, I should take her home," Buffy said.
"Carry me?" Dawn asked Xander hopefully.
"And after we drop them off, you can walk me home," Cordelia said. "It's a bit late, so you may want to think about crashing in the guest house."
Xander perked up a bit, recognizing Cordelia's tone. "Just to be safe," he agreed.
Tony and Jessica exchanged amused glances.
"Probably a good idea," Tony said. "We'll go furniture shopping tomorrow."
Xander made a face and quickly headed back out the door. "Yep, good plan, let's go people!"
Cordelia and Buffy had to rush to catch up with the pair.
"No more bouncing, I'm getting woozy," Dawn complained as Xander slowed down.
"Well next time don't eat half the cake," Buffy told her.
"It was good cake," Dawn defended herself.
"And the ice cream?" Buffy asked.
"Also good!" Dawn swore, making Xander laugh and Cordelia grin.
"She has your eating habits," Buffy told him.
"I don't feel so good," Dawn admitted, curling into Xander's arms.
"But not his stomach," Cordelia said with a sigh. "Let's get her home to the Pepto."
"I'm keeping your shirt," Dawn said, nose buried in his shoulder.
"You keep stealing my shirts, I'm going to run out," Xander complained.
"How many has she stolen?" Buffy asked.
"This will be the first," Xander admitted, "but if we don't nip this sort of behavior in the bud, I could end up forced to go clothes shopping."
Buffy and Cordelia rolled their eyes, while Dawn giggled.
Typing by: Abyssal Angel!
