Title: Word of the Day v. FFIV
Author: Garnet Eyes
Archived: fanfiction .net, livejournal .com
Last Updated: 03 Feb 2011
Summary: 29 September 1999 edition.
Rating: T
Characters/Pairings: Kain, Cecil x Rosa, implied Kain x Cecil x Rosa
Author Notes: obdurate, adjective;
1. Hardened in wrongdoing; stubbornly wicked; hardened in feelings; hardhearted.
2. Resistant to persuasion; unyielding.
3. Hard; harsh; rough.
Disclaimers: Final Fantasy IV is owned by Square-Enix and I in no way, shape, or form profit off of my writing. This is simply for my own pleasure, and may at any time be removed and/or modified as I see fit.
...
He knew, knew that it was wrong of him to feel this way. A man was meant to love a woman, to lay with her, to have children with her, to die with her by his side. He wanted that. He did. He wanted to be with Rosa, to marry her, to make love to her, to sire her children and provide for them. He loved her enough to do so. That another man loved her just as much was not the problem; that sort of thing could be handled honorably. What truly posed difficult to Kain, however, was a simple, horrible fact. He would lay down his life for Rosa without hesitation, but it physically hurt to know that he would do the same for his best friend, and that he had on several occasions put himself at great risk already for the man. Every single thing he felt for Rosa, he felt for the other man vying for her love. He wanted Cecil Harvey. Wanted to be able to freely admit that he loved the man, wanted to make love to him, to fall asleep next to him and wake up with the smaller body securely in his arms, to raise a family with him, to die a warrior's death at his side. It was wrong of him.
He couldn't continue vying for Rosa's attentions outright, not when he was so torn every time he was next to his best friend and rival, and so the people he loved the most escaped his grasp when he wasn't looking. It wasn't their fault, and he couldn't blame them, but he was still angry at himself and inexplicably hurt by being left behind. He didn't want to tarnish either of his younger companions, but he wanted them, so fiercely at times that his heart ached and he wondered if he could simply cradle Rosa close to his chest as he pressed his lips to hers or thread his fingers through moon-tone strands as he pulled the smaller knight against himself for a kiss, if either of them would object to him afterward. He hated himself for what he felt, but somewhere in the back of his mind he hoped that there could be some kind of accident, some way to cripple Cecil so that he could not be independent, so that he could not support Rosa himself, so that he would be susceptible to Kain's desires and Rosa would be too.
