NEWPORT
The four of them—Marissa, Ryan, Haley, and Elly—sat in the rain on the lifeguard stand for a long time. They knew that if they broke the silence, the moment would end, and everything would go back to how it always was with the four of them, the shouting, the crying, the drinking, the switching, the splitting up, and the regrets.
Elly shivered. She had to say something. The question was still burning the back of her mind. She knew it would probably ruin the serene peacefulness, the sound of the rain on the old lifeguard stand's wood, but it pierced her mind.
"Mom, what did you do?" She asked quietly. It was what she and Haley had been wondering for a while. It couldn't have just been a messy split, this was more than that. Haley had seen Summer's contorted, livid face when Marissa was at the door. Elly had seen Ryan's fury and pained face when he had found the vodka. They both knew there was more to the story than rumored affairs and falling out of love.
Marissa's eyes brimmed with tears, though she had always known that she would have to tell the story to her daughter—daughters—someday. She took a long, slow, breath, taking in the moment and the quiet happiness of her relationships with the people around her, knowing all too well that after she told the girls what had happened, it could all be dashed. It would be so easy for the girls to want to go back to New York with Ryan, forget Marissa, and start their new life. But she had to tell the truth.
"I drank," she said simply, quietly, "For a long time. I still do, more than I should. Ryan and I had been fighting a lot, and I had been drinking more than usual. After one particularly nasty fight, I took my flask and just left."
"What happened?" Haley urged.
"I was in a bad neighborhood. Someone took advantage of me; I never figured out who it was. He took me back to his apartment, raped me, and videotaped it."
"Oh my god," Elly gasped.
"Then he got me to sign some sort of release paper, and I was drunk out of my mind, I don't remember a thing, and he put the video on the internet. It was forwarded around, and everyone saw it."
"Oh my…" Haley's eyes bulged.
"And…" Marissa began, biting her lip to try to keep from sobbing. "Everything in my life just fell apart."
"How can you tell it like that, Marissa?" Ryan asked, standing up, enraged. "How can you pretend that that's what happened?"
"That IS what happened," Marissa said, coldly, hating when Ryan got like this, how he doubted her, how he was so untrusting.
"How can you say you didn't know who that man was?" Ryan shouted.
"And you know?" Marissa asked sarcastically.
"You weren't drunk enough to classify that as rape," Ryan said. "You cheated on me, Marissa. That's all that that was."
"How can you say I cheated on you? I loved you, Ryan. How was I supposed to fight off a stranger who grabbed me on the street?"
"He wasn't a stranger," Ryan reminded her.
"He was a random guy on the street! He was a stranger!" Marissa cried.
"How is Kevin Volchek a stranger?" Ryan screamed. "How the f(…) is Volchek a stranger to you?"
"It was…Kevin?" Marissa whispered, her blue eyes becoming saucers, floating upon her face. Her skin was pale and ashy, and she shivered in her emaciated frame.
"You didn't realize that?" Ryan asked quietly.
"You did?" Marissa asked back, sadly.
"I thought you knew…" Ryan said, looking down.
"You knew…" Marissa whispered.
Both were lost in their own little worlds. Again, lack of communication had devoured their relationship, tearing it to pieces because they never spoke about their feelings.
"I can't believe this," Elly said, standing up, looking at her parents, both dazed and confused. "You two never actually discussed Mom's porno partner?"
"We were too busy…fighting, working…" Marissa said, breathing raggedly. Her face was white and waxy, and she was shaking slightly.
"How did we let this happen?" Ryan asked himself quietly, not looking up.
"Mom?" Haley asked. Marissa had slumped over; her eyes closed. "Mom? Mom!"
Marissa lay on the wood deck of the place where she'd always been the most at home, curled up, wet and cold, a scared expression lying on her pale face, but those brilliant blue eyes closed to the world.
NEWPORT
"She'll be okay, right?" Haley asked quietly, sitting next to Elly on a red plastic chair in the hospital room. Ancient magazines and similarly distressed strangers sat around them.
"I don't know," Elly whispered. They both looked over to Ryan, who was shouting and filling out forms at the reception desk. "They're in love."
"Yeah, no joke," Haley snorted. "Look at him."
"Someday everything will work out for all of us," Elly said, trailing off as Ryan approached them.
"Two at a time. You girls can go in first, if you want. She'll probably be asleep, but she'll be okay." Ryan sighed, plopping down next to Elly.
"Ready, sis?" Haley grinned. Elly nodded, with a small smile, and the girls linked arms.
"They yours?" A balding, mustached man wearing a green turtleneck a few seats away from Ryan asked.
"Yeah. My daughters," Ryan said with a smile, as he watched the two blond heads walk around the corner, headed for his ex-wife's hospital room.
"Twins?" The man clarified, and Ryan nodded. "They're so alike, it's scary."
"Yep," Ryan agreed, as he watched their bobbing heads disappear. They had the same walk; long, striding, steps that matched perfectly, their feet lining up exactly.
MARISSA'S ROOM
"Mom?" Elly whispered when she walked into the room. Marissa was lying on the bed, drowned in the sheets, awake, but pale and weak. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Marissa said with a small smile. "Just…a lot to take in. For one night."
"Yeah," Haley agreed. "Definitely."
"Come here," Marissa beckoned. "I need a hug. I can't believe you two pulled it off."
"I can't believe you didn't figure it out," Elly laughed. She turned to Haley. "I can't believe you kept the secret."
"Hey! I didn't think you would, with the whole Aiden-Graham issue," Haley smirked. "How did that turn out, by the way?"
"Aiden-Graham issue?" Marissa asked, intrigued. "Was there a boyfriend aspect to this whole thing? Wow. I'm impressed. Tell me everything."
Elly beamed. "I kind of went on a date with this really hot guy Graham when I was with Grandma, and then I had to be Haley, and so I had to like this guy she was dating Aiden."
"I had to go shopping with Chelsea and Lex," Haley complained. "And then one of those ridiculous, not-fun parties."
"They're fun!" Elly argued.
"Yeah, if you drink so much you don't remember them the next day," Haley said sourly.
"Hey!" Elly said. "Uncalled for."
"And so true," Haley teased.
"Anyway, I told Graham about the switch. He won't talk to me; I've called him," Elly sighed.
"You told him?" Haley asked incredulously.
"You told your grandma," Elly returned.
"Kirsten knew?" Marissa groaned. "You could have told me, you know." The girls exchanged a look and giggled.
"That would have defeated the purpose," Elly reminded her mother.
"And by the way, I told Lex she was a lying, bitchy, pathetic excuse for a friend," Haley remembered.
"That's okay," Elly laughed. "She is."
"She so is," Marissa added. "I mean, if you have to go buy out Barneys and drink and cut and who knows what else, I'd rather you do it with Chelsea, than Lex."
"Me too," Elly smiled. Then she became serious. "Although I'm over that. Okay, Mom? I promise."
Marissa smoothed Elly's hair. "I know, sweetie. I know." She put her arm around Haley on her other side. "Things are going to be different now."
"Good," Haley said firmly, perching on the right side of Marissa's bed.
"It's about time," Elly smiled, sliding onto the left.
The Cooper-Atwood girls hugged, Ryan watching them from the hallway outside through the glass window. He smiled, hearing the last part of their conversation. Things were going to be different.
