A/N - Well done to bb2015 who binged on 26 chapters in two days! Good effort, thanks for the review :-)


Rick looked up at her now, his fingers turning an orange bottle of pills around and around in his hands. Tossing the pills back into the tub, he got back to his feet with her name on his lips. "Carrie," he began, reaching out his hand for her. "What just happened-"

"I'll finish with the gas."

She quickly turned away, but not fast enough to miss the brief flash of hurt that crossed his face. Trying not to look like she was fleeing, Carrie quickly walked back outside and picked up the empty gas containers. She wasn't ready to talk about what happened, for she knew there was going to be an inevitable argument.

The front door burst open just as she started heading for the garage, and she braced herself for the yelling to start. But when she looked around Rick was otherwise occupied, dragging one of the dead bodies out of the house and across the front porch. He didn't look at her, for which she was grateful, and the two of them simply went about their separate tasks, Carrie wondering why he bothered to move the bodies. It wasn't like they were staying there any longer than necessary. Focusing, she continued her task of getting the minivan's tank full, but this time as she headed into the garage, she didn't bother looking at Granger's corpse.

Working in silence, Carrie and Rick avoided eye contact, though she watched him from the corner of her eye not out of mistrust, but curiosity. Aside from having picked up on her animosity, Rick appeared completely unperturbed by what had happened, and he went about his work as though it was any other day. Carrying out the plastic tubs one by one, he rearranged everything they had brought with them to make room, clearing a space before bringing out the heavy tub full of guns. He carried it with ease, the heavy weight not a problem for him.

A short while later the gas tank was filled to the brim, and Carrie filled the containers one last time before putting them on the floor in the back. While she knew they needed to get back on the road, she understood that too much spare gas was still not enough, and so she filled every appropriate container she could find in the garage, securing them perhaps another gallon more. As she finished, her head aching from the fumes, Carrie stood back and watched as Rick too finished up. With a bucket full of water he was hastily washing down the exterior of the minivan, not wanting the others to know quite how badly they had been swarmed last night. There was nothing they could do about the damaged panels or the broken window, but they didn't have to make it so obvious.

"Have we got everything?" he asked, throwing aside the cloth he had been using. Wiping his hands dry on his jeans, he shivered from the cold. His warm jacket had been tossed into the trunk, marred with blood.

"Yes."

He nodded slowly, frowning as he looked around the property just in case. Turning back to her, he looked her in the eye. "Do you feel like driving?"

Judging by the dark marks under his eyes and the way he rolled his left shoulder, this was more of a request than an offer. Carrie nodded in agreement and took the keys from him, the two of them lingering for a moment before heading to their respective doors. They took their seats with a sigh of relief, Rick's head falling back as his eyes closed wearily. Starting the car signalled the last hurdle they had faced, and as the feeling of relief washed over her she turned on the heater, feeling the warm air beginning to flow from the vents. Adjusting the seat forward, she turned the minivan around and headed for the driveway. She made a quick adjustment to the rear view mirror, using it to look at the garage as they departed. Granger's body would lie in there for the foreseeable future, not afforded the dignified burial he didn't deserve. Just as she had months ago, she waited for the sense of closure to wash over her, to start feeling relieved by his death…but she didn't. Strangely enough it felt as though nothing had changed, as though him being dead didn't mean a thing.

Reaching the gate at the entrance, Carrie was surprised that Rick had closed it after entering, even more surprised when he closed it again. He stepped out to open it and let the car through, and then went to the effort of closing it again, sliding the chain through the latch and making sure it was secure. She waited for him patiently, taking a deep breath to steady herself before he returned. It felt like an entire gulf of unspoken words lay between them, and neither of them knew how to broach the subject first.

"Why did you bother closing it?" she asked as he took his seat.

"So that Walkers can't get in."

"Oh." Although they were not going to use it again, other people in the future might, and she now understood his reasons for removing the two bodies from the house. "Which way?" She felt disoriented faced with the two options, unsure of who way they had come the previous night.

"Left," he instructed, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes.

Making the turn, Carrie took them back the way they had come last night, retracing their steps back to the main road. The herd of Walkers would have passed the turn off many hours ago, and although it was fast approaching eight thirty in the morning, they were still in with a chance of catching up to their people. They would have left their makeshift camp site already, but given how long it took to pump gas they would still likely be in Rock Hill. Even if they were gassed up and ready to go, Carrie didn't anticipate that they would take off immediately…to do so would abandon two members of their group. They would wait for as long as they possibly could, and this knowledge brought her some comfort.

Everything was going to be alright now…they had plenty of gas to get them to Rock Hill, and their group would still be waiting for them. She automatically turned her head to share this optimism with Rick, her words falling short as she looked at him. He absently stared out the passenger window, his jaw set into a hard line as he pointedly avoided her. Her gaze dropping, she looked at his left hand in his lap, the one that had borne the worst of Granger's desperate attempt to save himself. His knuckles were red and a little swollen, as were the deep scratches on the back of his hand.

Her stomach twisted uncomfortably as she thought back to their conversation the other night, remembering all the things he had told her. He had bluntly told her that killing became easier, that it was now a necessary part of life, even if she wasn't ready to accept it. Looking at him from the corner of her eye, she questioned the ease with which he had come to his decision to kill, the ease with which he had killed innocent people without apology. He had told her it was a necessity, one which she would eventually come to understand and accept.

Knowing what she knew now, she wondered how much she really knew about him, questioning the value he placed on the lives he took. Would he do that to her? Remembering the clear division between his group and the Alexandrian's, she wondered where exactly he drew the line between who was his own, and who was a threat. One of the first things he had really said to her was a threat, a promise to kill her if she hurt his group. At the time she understood the desire to protect his own, but now she saw just how real that threat to her life had been.

"Carrie," he began softly, breaking her from her thoughts. Looking at him properly, she was alarmed to realise he had been watching her.

"Yes?"

Clearing his throat, Rick sat up properly. "If you've got something to say to me, then say it," he told her plainly, his voice low.

"No," she said very quickly, clenching her hands around the steering wheel. "I'm-"

"I can see the way you've been looking at me, so don't give me bullshit. Whatever it is you want to say, say it before we get back to the group."

Carrie took a deep breath and released it slowly, trying to sort out everything she was thinking. There was so much going on in her head right now, so many things she was trying to work through. "There's nothing, Rick," she began tentatively, hoping he dropped the subject.

"Either say it, or stop giving me that mistrustful look," he said lowly.

Carrie's heart was pounding, knowing there was about to be an argument she wasn't prepared for. She knew what she wanted to say, the argument she wanted to make, but she knew it wasn't going to be well received. "Alright," she began, her voice weaker than she would have liked. "You didn't have to kill the others."

Rick gave a short laugh, turning his head and looking back out the window. "Say that like you mean it."

"I do," she said quietly.

"Please," he scoffed. "There's no way you could be that naive."

"How is that naive?"

"It's naive to think that there was any other option."

"There were other options."

"Like what?"

Looking back to the road, Carrie swallowed heavily, her heart pounding. "Just…pretend I didn't say anything, alright?"

"Then don't make me the bad guy," he said forcefully.

"I'm not trying to…" she trailed off with a sigh. "Please can we just drop it?"

"You want to drop this? Then stop giving me that filthy look."

Taking a deep breath, Carrie tried to fix a blank expression onto her face, to be indifferent to the choices he had made that morning. But that was easier said than done. "You shouldn't have killed the others," she snapped impulsively, repeating what she had said before.

There was a long pause, and Carrie glanced over to see him looking at her with a stony expression. "I'll accept one good reason why," he prompted.

"Why?" she questioned incredulously. "Because they were innocent!"

"I never said they were guilty."

His acknowledgement of this surprised her. "Then why did you kill them?"

"Because they would have killed us," he stated factually.

Frustrated, Carrie clenched her jaw as she shook her head. "You don't know that."

"Granger was one of them, he was part of their group and we killed him."

"If we told them what he did, who he was-"

"And prove it how?" Rick asked angrily, turning in his seat to look at her.

"I…I would have told them."

"All they would have known is that we were stealing their gas, and that we killed one of them. That wasn't exactly a pleasant death either, there's no way anyone would look past that."

Having no argument against this, she took pause, thinking. "They were innocent," she repeated softly. "We should have given them the benefit of the doubt."

"And when things go wrong? When we tell them what we did, and they start a gun fight? What would we do then, Carrie?"

"We would defend ourselves," she said, knowing her argument was weakening.

"It takes just one bullet, and it's over!" he said vehemently. "One bullet, and my kids spend the rest of their lives wondering why I didn't come back to them. I can't take that risk."

"Okay. I get it," she said gently.

"You don't have children, so I highly doubt that."

She grit her teeth at this remark. "That's why you should have let me handle them in the first place. No one is depending on me to come back. I can take that risk for the group."

Rick gave a low laugh, the darkness of it making her take her eyes off the road and look over at him. He was looking out the window now, his elbow resting on the door as he scratched his jaw. Taking a heavy breath, it was clear he was trying to restrain himself.

"I know how you would have handled them," he told her, his tone furious. "It was exactly what he was waiting for."

"Who? Granger?"

"Yeah." He looked at her now. "He knew exactly what you'd do, how you'd try to protect yourself."

As shame filled the pit of her stomach, Carrie looked back at the road, tormented by the knowledge that Granger had been expecting what she offered him. She had played right into his hands, giving him exactly what he wanted.

"You can't go offering things like that, and expect me to sit back and let it happen."

Understanding the horrible position she had put him in, she nodded in understanding. She knew how much it pained her last group to know what she was doing for them, to know that there was little that could do for her. Glancing at Rick, her heart sank even more when she saw the expression on his face, one that conveyed his horror at what she had intended to do to save both of them.

"He was going to kill us," she said weakly.

"Do you think I didn't know that?"

"He had our guns."

"So?"

She looked at him again. "So?" she asked incredulously. "I didn't have a choice!"

"You had me!" he suddenly shouted, the harshness of his tone making her jump.

Gripping the steering wheel tightly she tried to concentrate on the road ahead of her, feeling herself getting upset. There was no time to lose her cool, to succumb to her emotions even though all she wanted to do was falling into a heap and cry. "He had your gun too."

"I don't need my gun!"

Swearing under her breath, Carrie took a deep breath, letting her mind flash back to the previous summer. She remembered the way he used to hit her, how he'd hold her down and choke her when they had sex. "You didn't know him," she insisted, her voice struggling to stay even. "He was violent."

"No shit, he's a rapist."

"What was I supposed to do?" she appealed. "Hey was going to kill us."

"I was handling it!" he yelled again. "You think he was in charge of anything back there?"

"I don't know! Okay? I don't know! All I knew was that we were tied up, and he had your gun! I didn't know what else to do."

"So you offer him sex, again?" Fuming, Rick didn't hold back. "You didn't trust me to protect you, so you spread your legs for him? Where the fuck is the sense in-"

Cutting him off, Carrie slammed the brakes on hard, the minivan violently skidding to a stop in the middle of the road. Without a seatbelt on Rick lurched forward and braced himself against the windscreen, swearing in surprise. He looked at her incredulously, his lips parting to say something until he caught a glimpse of her expression. Seething in anger, Carrie practically tore the keys from the ignition and burst out of the car, missing the moment when Rick realised he realised he had gone too far. Almost staggering away from the car she took a deep breath, filling her lungs as much as she could while at the same time resisting the need to scream until her throat hurt. It took all she had to not throw the car keys into the nearby field, to not delay them and infuriate Rick as much as he had her.

"Carrie, I'm sorry," Rick rushed to say, he too bursting out of the car. "I didn' - "

"Shut up!" she shouted at him, her voice breaking a little. "Just, shut up!"

Halfway to her, Rick stopped in his tracks, his hands clenched into fists as he looked her her remorsefully. Not caring about his regret, Carrie slowly turned away from him, running her fingers through her hair as she focused on breathing, on keeping control of herself. She couldn't melt down right now, and especially not in front of Rick. Tears welled up against her will, and she hastily pressed her palms against her eyes, forcing it to stop. Clearing her throat, she brushed her hair behind her ears before turning back around to face him. He was apprehensively awaiting what she would say next.

"Is that what you think of me?" she asked, challenging him. "That because last night and because of Granger, I'm a whore who'll spread her legs for anyone?"

"No," he said hastily, coming forward a few steps. "I never said that."

Matching his steps, Carrie moved backwards. "But you think it?"

"No!"

"But you think I should have just killed Granger's who group? That the moment they rocked up on my doorstep, I should have opened fire?"

Sighing, he looked her in the eye. He look a long breath, calming himself before he spoke. "Yes. You should have just killed them," he said bluntly, his tone beginning to soften next. "But I understand why you didn't…I've been there too. Killing was not easy for me, not at the start of all of this."

"Then what you're saying, is that I took the easy way out."

"What?"

"That killing them was too hard, so I just had sex with them instead. Why, because it was easier?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, Carrie! That's not - "

"How easy do you think it was to let three men have sex with me? Three repulsive, vile men who then refused to leave. Was that the easy way out, Rick?"

Visibly flinching at what she had said, Rick paused for a moment. He turned away from her with a short sigh, his hand rubbing his jaw nervously. When he spoke, he chose his words very carefully. "No," he began, looking back at her. "I don't think that was easy for you."

"Good. And for the record, I don't have gonorrhoea…I told them that, so they-"

"I know," he said shortly. "I get it…"

"Good."

"I don't think you're a whore, either," he continued, looking at her imperatively. "I just…I just need you to understand!"

"Understand what?"

"That you should have killed Granger the moment you saw him, the moment you realised what he was."

She gave a bitter laugh. "By the time I realised, it was too late."

"Because you gave him the benefit of the doubt."

"Yes."

"Then why are you giving me such a hard time about the other three?"

Growling under her breath, she realised they were back at this again. "Because they were innocent."

"You can't give everyone the benefit of the doubt," he told her fiercely, stepping closer again. "Not when your life is on the line."

"What about their lives? Are their lives unimportant?"

"Of course not, I'm not a psychopath," he said angrily. "But we are more important. I know they were probably innocent, but we posed a threat to them, therefore they posed a threat to us!"

"Jesus, Rick!" she shouted angrily. "Not everyone is out to get you!"

"It turns out they usually are. My best friend turned on me, he tried to-"

"Shane? From the sounds of it, he was a loose cannon. Let it go."

This seemed to take him by surprise. "Let it go?' he questioned. He took a long pause, pretending to consider this. "Alright…Glenn was nearly beaten to death once, but I'll let that go. The prison was attacked again and again until it fell. Herschel was beheaded, Carl was almost raped, Beth was run over and shot…but I'll let all that go. And then Termi…" Rick trailed off, looking at her as a bitter smile came over his face.

"What?"

He took a deep breath. "You want to know what happened at Terminus?" he asked her, his tone indicating he would tell her anyway. "You want to know what happened to your friends who went in first?"

Carrie hesitated. "No," she shook her head.

"It was a perfect strategy…they didn't have to do much to draw people in. When people came looking for sanctuary, they were killed for food. "

Feeling her heart jolt, Carrie swayed on her feet. She'd imagined a variety of scenarios that might have befallen Tim and Ross that day, this one too…and she had led them there, had insisted it would be safe. "I don't want to know anymore," she said quietly.

Rick wasn't having any of that, and he continued nonetheless. "Your friends were locked into train cars. They had their throats cut…their bodies were dismembered, and then they were hung out to dry like a side of beef."

"Okay, I get it," she said weakly, wanting him to stop.

"No, I don't think you do. When we ended up there, we nearly didn't make it out. Afterwards, they followed us. Then they grabbed one of us. Bob. They chopped off his leg and then ate it right in front of him."

Feeling her jaw trembling, tears welled up in Carrie's eyes, and this time she let them fall. "I get it," she repeated herself, her voice weaker than she would have liked.

"Do you see the common theme here? It's people doing this to us! People!"

"I get it!" she shouted, wanting him to stop.

"Good," he said shortly. "It's about time."

There was a short pause now, giving her the opportunity to wipe the moisture off her cheeks. Looking away from him, she felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of everything that was being said, of everything that had happened. With so much to think about, she had no idea where to start.

"Carrie, this is the world now," Rick started again. "I know you think you get it, but you don't. Not yet, anyway. You can't always give the benefit of the doubt. Now killing Granger…neither of us are going to lose sleep over him, but the others I killed? I'm not losing sleep over them either."

"Why not?" she asked softly.

"Because I don't answer to them," he told her, his voice gentler now. He approached her tentatively, relieved when she didn't back away. "The only people I answer to are my children, and my group. If I have to kill three people who probably didn't deserve it, just so I can get back to them, then I will."

Feeling her jaw begin to tremble, Carrie clenched it shut as she nodded. What he was saying didn't sound so crazy…it didn't sound so unreasonable. "I get it," she said softly.

"Then, why are you giving me such a hard time?" he asked in defeat.

Not knowing what to say, she just didn't answer. Taking a deep breath, she pushed her hair off her face, feeling the wind whipping it around. She felt her eyes beginning to moisten again, everything he was saying ringing true…too true. Beginning to see his perspective, she looked at the ground, hating that he was right. "I…" she began, taking a deep breath as she looked around. "I'm sorry."

There was a short pause, and she could hear him shifting his feet. "Carrie, I need you to be really honest with me," he began nervously. "What you were offering Granger…sex for protection. Is that what you're doing with me?"

Looking up at him now, she was alarmed to see that he looked hurt, that he was scared of her answer. "No," she urgently replied. "I already told you, no."

"Forgive me for asking twice," he muttered sarcastically.

"Rick, I…" she started, her thoughts all jumbled. "I'm not using you, I can survive on my own. I'm with you and your group because I want to be."

"You can survive?" he questioned.

"Yes."

He shook his head. "No, you can't…not if you're not willing to kill."

"Well I'm not," she said vehemently. "Not innocent people."

"One day, your survival is going to come down to whose life you value more," he said imperatively. "It's you or them. There's no middle ground, there's no compromise. You've got to protect yourself!"

"I am protecting myself," she insisted, her voice tight with emotion as she looked up at him. "I'm alive, aren't I?"

He looked at her with anguish in his eyes, longing for her to understand. "At what cost?"

She looked away again, not wanting him to see just how deep his question reached. Her attempts at survival had almost broken her, had already pushed her to the point of not wanting to go on any more. But just as strong as her instinct to survive was the desire to do so without getting blood on her hands…given what had happened today, she knew this wasn't going to be the case forever. A few moments passed in silence, allowing them both to collect their thoughts.

"Carrie, I need you to hear what I'm about to say," Rick continued. He was right in front of her now, leaning towards her a little.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself for his intense gaze before looking at him. "I'm listening," she said quietly.

"You are a part of this group now. You don't have to have sex with strangers to protect yourself. Not anymore."

She swallowed heavily, wishing he understood. "That was all I had."

"I know," he nodded. "But the things you did before…you don't have to do them again. You're with us now."

"Okay," she whispered quietly.

"And you have to trust me," he continued, making sure she listened. "Even when things are going to shit, and it doesn't look like we're going to survive it, you need to trust me."

"I will."

"I hope so," he said seriously, looking her in the eye. "Because what happened today is going to happen again. What you will and won't do to protect yourself is your business. But you're part of a group that includes my children. One day, you're going to have to kill for them."

"Yes," she whispered again, knowing he was right.

Against her will more tears spilled from her eyes, and she hastily brushed them away before they reached her cheeks. Shaking with emotion, Carrie took another deep breath, looking away as Rick's intense gaze became too much. They stood barely a foot from each other, but the chemistry that would have normally seen them seeking each other out was absent now. A long moment passed, the awkward silence broken as they noticed three Walkers in the near by field. They were pressed up against the low fence, their arms flailing towards them as one toppled over to the other side.

"Let's go," Rick muttered, reaching for the keys in her hand.

Shaking her head, Carrie pulled her hand back. "No. I want to drive," she said, needing to feel the steering wheel beneath her hands, needing something to hold on to.

Accepting this, Rick stepped back and waited patiently, cautiously putting his hand on her shoulder when she didn't move. For a moment she wondered if he would try to hug her, and she was conflicted about whether or not she wanted this, part of her wanting the comfort of an embrace, another needing to keep her personal space. Simply urging her forward, Rick kept his distance until she began walking back to the car. Clearing her throat, she got back into the driver's seat and started the engine, avoiding Rick's eyes as he too got in. This time he put his seat belt on, rubbing the forearm he had used to brace himself when she had suddenly slammed on the brakes.

Without another word Carrie sped off down the road, trying to leave her past behind once and for all.


Their argument concluded, Rick and Carrie travelled in silence, the intensity of what had been said rendering them both mute. His attention focused on the scenery flashing by out his window, Rick stewed in his thoughts, feeling immense guilt for some of the things he had said. In this midst of his own anger and frustration he had all but called her a whore…certainly that's how she had heard it. While he had apologised, genuinely not thinking of her in that way, he knew the words would have hurt to hear after what she had been through. Scratching his short beard, he glanced at her from the corner of his eye and reminded himself to be patient, to be more understanding of where she was at. He knew first hand what it was like to have someone try force the understanding on him. Shane had insisted that this was who they needed to become, but Rick hadn't been ready to hear it.

Looking at Carrie sympathetically, he knew he couldn't expect her to accept the new reality because Rick told her too. He wasn't Shane. He couldn't force this on her and expect her to agree with him. She had to learn for herself…and she would. She was. In that moment Rick wanted to apologise to her, to make amends for the fact that he was pushing her too hard. But he stopped himself, thinking that maybe she needed the silence. Certainly it was conducive to deep thinking.

Besides, he didn't really know what to say.

Almost half an hour passed by the time they reached the stretch of road where the others had spent the night in the back of the removal truck, relieved to find that all of the vehicles had successfully gassed up and departed for Rock Hill. Upon seeing this Rick and Carrie shared a glance, the brief eye contact enough to affirm this understanding. Watching the time closely, Carrie accelerated the minivan, increasing their speed despite the risk of hitting stray Walkers.

Less than twenty miles away, they reached Rock Hill a little after nine o'clock in the morning, Carrie slowing down and sticking to the main roads as they began looking for the group. They passed an empty gas station as they entered the town and continued on, knowing that even if their group had departed already, there would be someone lingering there to wait for them. Following the roads free of traffic blockages they began to draw the attention of nearby Walkers, but Carrie carefully swerved around them, only one of them managing to throw itself against the passenger side door as it passed them by. Barely a minute later, they turned a corner and saw a familiar group of cars stopped ahead below an Esso sign, Rick's heart swelling with relief. With a long sigh he looked at Carrie with a tentative smile, their mutual relief too much to ignore. As they drew closer, the last opportunity to say something to her in private grew distant.

"Carrie," he began, speaking for the first time since their argument. "What you did last night, leading the herd away…thank you."

Stopping just outside the gas station, Carrie engaged the handbrake before looking up at him. As their group began rushing over to them, she gave him a slow nod. "You too…thanks, I mean."

For a moment it looked as though she was going to say something else, but the opportunity was not afforded to her. Much like the Walkers had last night, their worried group swarmed the car, opening their doors with groans of relief. Still looking at her, Rick saw the moment her expression changed, her face going from tense and uncomfortable to a facade of happiness. He knew she was just putting on a brave face for the others, but there wasn't time for him to worry about her right now. Instead he focused his attention on the others, on Carl who was impatiently trying to get his attention.

Amazed that after such close calls with death he was still able to do so, Rick stepped out of the car and pulled Carl into his arms, ignoring everyone else in favour of him. They often reunited after periods of danger, most recently on their way to Alexandria for the first time, and the relief he felt at seeing his son again never waned. Holding him tightly, Rick gave a muttered reassurance that he was fine, that they'd just been inconveniently delayed.

"Where's Daryl?" Rick demanded, looking around and not seeing him. Having released Carl he was exchanging quick greetings with everyone else, relieved each time he found the faces he was seeking…all except for two. "And Aaron? Where are they?"

"'They went looking for you," Abraham informed him, clapping him on the shoulder as greeting. "Left an hour ago."

"How far were they going?"

"Said they'd go a little south of Masonry road. What took you so long? We were expecting you to double back after the herd finished passing you."

Pausing before he answered, Rick looked around for Carl, ensuring that he was now well out of ear shot. "We, uh…we were short on gas," he said shortly, looking around at the others too. Glenn had opened the trunk of the minivan, unapologetically looking in the three tubs as Aidan joined him.

Abraham looked at him skeptically. "You had a full tank and more to spare. How in God's good name did you get short on gas?"

"We went through more than we expected," he shrugged, wearily rubbing the bridge of his nose. "We lost track of where we were, and by the time we turned off, we were low. We stopped for the night, and then had to find some more."

"So you got lost?" Abraham questioned. "On a straight road?"

"We did not get lost," Rick clarified. "We just misplaced where we were."

"A distinction without a difference." Shaking his head, Abraham muttered something under his breath that sounded like Dickhead. "What happened to your radio? We stopped hearing from you after midnight."

Rick shrugged, the night before feeling as though it had happened weeks ago. "Must of lost range."

Looking around at everyone, he took note of what everyone was doing, catching himself up on their progress. Keeping watch, Michonne was on the radio trying to signal Daryl and Aaron, while Rosita, Carrie and Nicholas conversed quietly by the removal truck. Tobin worked alone, continuing to pump the gas from the underground tank. Still concerned by what had happened that morning and their subsequent argument, he watched Carrie for a few moments, wondering how much of her cheerful demeanour was a facade. She was hastily pulling on a pair of jeans over her yoga pants as she talked, laughing as Nicholas said something

"Rick," Glenn said quietly, leaving Aidan to look at the tub of guns with wide eyes. "Where did those supplies come from?"

Hesitating, Rick glanced back at Carrie, wondering if she had said anything yet. Should he be honest? Certainly he could be honest with his group, they would understand…although the look on Aidan's face made him a little uncertain. There would be no hiding what had happened, not with the unexpected addition of supplies and the numerous scratches on his hands.

"We ran into some trouble," he softly admitted, absently fiddling with one of the pouches on his duty belt.

He didn't need to say anything else, Glenn and Abraham understanding what he meant. Aidan on the other hand, wasn't so easily appeased. Looking at them incredulously, he left the trunk full of supplies and came over.

"What do you mean you ran into trouble?" he asked suspiciously. "Where did all that come from?"

"Leave it alone, Aidan," Glenn told him lowly, gritting his teeth.

"No, a reasonable explanation is called for," Aidan insisted, squaring up to Rick. "What happened to the people you took these supplies from?"

"Aidan," Glenn said forcefully, stepping towards him. "Back off. You hear me?"

"No, I-"

"Enough," Rick said impatiently, laying his hand on Glenn's shoulder. As he knew he would, Glenn stood down, and Rick looked Aidan in the eye as he opened the passenger door and took something from the glove compartment. Ushering the three men with him, he spread the map across the hood and pointed to marked routes that all began and ended in Ohio. "I took the supplies from a group who attacked us this morning…they had this map with them."

There was a general consensus of disbelief, Abraham swearing as he traced his finger over the routes that passed through North and South Carolina. "Mother Dick…these are supply runs?"

"Looks like it," Rick agreed. "The group we ran into this morning were most likely on this route here, that's the closest one to where we are now."

"Were they the only supply runners taking on all these routes one at a time," Aidan began, his tone less confrontational. "Or are there multiple groups on supply runs all at once?"

"I don't know for sure…but I'd expect they were part of a much larger group from Ohio. Abraham, you and Aaron might need to reevaluate our route home, make sure we don't come anywhere near these routes."

"That could be a problem," Glenn piped up, frowning as he scoured the map for a particular city. "The underground bunker and Walmart…they're in Franklin. That's right by the path of this route here, the blue one."

"We might have to leave it then."

"We can't leave it," Aidan argued. "A month ago when we checked Walmart, it was completely untouched. There's a pharmacy, grocery, auto shop. We can't leave it for someone else."

"The same with the bunker," Glenn reluctantly agreed. "Nicholas says that guy living there stockpiled food, weapons and medicine."

"Might be a risk worth taking," Abraham commented, gauging Rick's response.

Considering this, Rick slowly nodded. He knew the risks involved in taking such an extended supply run, he knew there would be other people that they might run into. "I'll leave this to you and Aaron to discuss," he told Abraham, looking to Glenn and Aidan next. "Make sure everyone sees this, that they know what we might be facing. I'm going to pump gas."

"Hey, Rick," Aidan said hastily, catching up with him as he headed for the underground gas tanks. "Just so we're clear, this group…they're dead?"

Though he'd rather tell Aidan to fuck off and mind his own business, Rick knew he had to give him a satisfactory answer. Flexing his jaw, he looked him in the eye and nodded. "Is that going to be a problem for you?"

"They attacked you?" he clarified. Rick nodded again, not getting into the finer details that involved Carrie. Apparently accepting this, Aidan echoed his nod. "Alright…no problem here."

"Good to know," Rick muttered, turning away and heading over to Carl. He was standing on the pavement keeping watch now, Herschel's old crutches on the ground by his feet.

"Everything alright?" Carl asked, gesturing his head towards the minivan where Abraham had summoned the others over.

"It's fine," he assured him, scrutinising the rifle and silencer Carl was holding. "When they're all finished, get someone to take over watch and then go talk to Abraham…he'll fill you in. How did everything go last night?"

"Awful, but it was alright," Carl shrugged, raising the rifle and peering down the scope. Taking aim at a Walker down the street, he moved his finger to the trigger and breathed slowly, firing a second later. "Tobin threw up from the smell, and then Nicholas did too. Michonne baby sat me like always."

"Did she now?" Rick smiled, looking at the fallen Walker Carl had shot.

"Yeah. We drew pictures on each other's back and had to guess them…she won."

Shaking his head to himself, Rick headed for the gas pumps. Needing to find distraction from the sheer exhaustion he felt, Rick set about the task of pumping some more gas, wanting the cars full and ready to depart shortly after Daryl and Aaron returned. He and Carrie exchanged a very brief glance as he walked past her, but they didn't say or do anything else. While Rick siphoned gas, Abraham explained the problems they would be facing on the final leg of their journey, ensuring that everyone was up to speed. One by one the others listened and then got back to work. To their immense relief, Daryl and Aaron came back into range half an hour later, catching Michonne's radio call that told them Rick and Carrie had returned. They returned as quickly as they could, though by the time they returned to Rock Hill it was past ten thirty in the morning. Nearly half the day had been wasted in avoiding the herd, but given that each of his group were safely on the other side of it, Rick wasn't complaining.

"Where the fuck you been?" Daryl demanded gruffly, he and Rick sharing a rough embrace.

"Long story. Abraham will fill you in. You shouldn't have gone looking for us."

Daryl just grunted, lighting a cigarette and blowing a puff of smoke towards Rick. "You can't boss me around."

"No," he agreed, glaring at him as he avoided the cloud of smoke. "I'm no Carol."

Daryl departed with a strongly worded farewell, heading over to Carrie. He lowered his cigarette and kept it out of the way as they spoke, and Rick could tell by his body language that he was thanking her. He knew Daryl well, and could anticipate what he was going to do next. They talked for a few moments before he took out his crumpled packet of cigarettes, flipping the lid open and offering one to Carrie. She looked surprised at his gesture, but shook her head and politely refused, laughing a moment later. Daryl just nodded and returned his highly coveted cigarettes to his pocket, he and Aaron heading over to Abraham to be filled in on what they had missed. Looking at Carrie now, Rick wondered if she knew how much this particular gesture from Daryl actually meant.

"Is Carrie alright?" Michonne asked him a little while later, referring to the group that had attacked them.

Standing side by side, they watched as the others finished up, distributing coffee and food to get them through the day. Rick hesitated, grateful that no one else knew the full extent of what had happened that morning, of who it was that had attacked them. Days ago Carrie had asked him to keep his knowledge of her past private, and he wasn't going to betray that trust.

"She wasn't hurt," he answered.

"But is she alright?" Michonne pressed. "She's awfully cheerful for someone who got attacked today."

Rick nodded in agreement, wishing he had some indication as to exactly how much of that was a facade. "She's putting on a brave face," he acknowledged. He looked at Michonne in admiration, though he shouldn't be surprised by her concern. "But I don't know for sure."

Sighing, Michonne folded her arms. "I'll talk to her later today."

"Thank you. She might need that."

"Oh, and by the way…what happened to the minivan?"

Rick faltered at this unexpected question, and he avoided eye contact when he answered. Michonne could read him like a book. "I don't see anything wrong with it."

Michonne quirked an eyebrow. "It kind of looks like something surrounded it…like something was pushing on it from all sides."

Clearing his throat, Rick shrugged innocently. "That's…your opinion."

"Ah huh," Michonne muttered, shaking her head to herself as Carl began heading their way.

"Come on, you two," Carl hustled them, everyone else ready to depart. "I'm driving."

Immediately protesting this, Michonne dangled the keys in front of him and then raced for the driver's seat, easily beating him there. Rick on the other hand lingered a little while, watching as the others got into the vehicles and started the engines. He liked to keep track of who was with who, always doing a paranoid headcount as if there was the possibility someone would accidentally be left behind. Seeing Carrie approaching the last car, the minivan Glenn was driving, Rick felt the urge to go to her now…he needed to say something…he just didn't know what. Perhaps she was thinking the same way, for Carrie hesitated before getting onto the passenger seat, and she looked around before finding him. Watching each other from across the gas station, there was a long moment as they both waited for the other to do something, to act first. He could tell Carrie wanted to say something to him too, but she seemed to lose her nerve. Her shoulders slumping a little, she looked away and got into the minivan.

Rick lingered a little longer, mentally preparing himself. The way things had been left between he and Carrie was not okay, and given what had gone on with the two of them last night and early that morning, he knew they needed to speak. Telling Michonne to give him a moment, he closed the passenger door and approached the minivan, looking around to see if anyone was watching what he was doing. Grateful that it was only she and Glenn in there, he politely tapped on the passenger window. She looked both surprised and relieved to see him, and she lowered the electric window without hesitation.

"Hey," she greeted him politely.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

She nodded, opening her door and stepping out. Closing it behind her, she looked at him expectantly, half knowing what he was going to say. Rick glanced back into the minivan and looked at Glenn, who was trying hard to pretend he wasn't eavesdropping. Tapping on the open window, Rick cleared his throat and made his request clear. With obvious disappointment, Glenn raised the window and gave them some privacy.

He began tentatively, starting with something easy. "You know, Daryl doesn't offer a cigarette to just anyone. It's a big deal."

"How so?"

Rick shrugged. "It's his seal of approval…doesn't come easy."

"Good to know."

Sighing, he forced himself to say what he had approached her for, to just go for it. "Look, Carrie…I know things were said earlier…and I know I can be a bastard sometimes. I'm sorry."

Understanding the seriousness of his apology, she nodded graciously. "Thank you. I'm sorry too…for what I said."

Accepting her apology though he didn't think he deserved it, Rick nodded too. They stood there awkwardly, neither of them knowing what else to say. They couldn't leave it at that…there was more to be said, more going on between them than one argument. What was going on between them needed to be addressed, in one way or another. Rick knew that nothing he had learned or seen from her had changed the way he wanted her, but there had to be the understanding that something had changed. He struggled to find the right words, but thankfully Carrie spoke first.

"Rick," she said urgently, her hand brushing his to get his attention. "I don't think you're a bad person…I'm sorry that I acted like you were."

Her sincere apology hit him harder than it probably should, and it was a relief to know that's not what she thought. There had been a time when Lori had thought he was a bad person, the morning after they had lost the farm when he told her about Shane. He knew she regretted the severity of her poor reaction, but she'd never been able to apologise for it…mainly because he never let her. Carrie on the other hand, her apology came even though he hadn't been asking for it, and it had just as much impact. He understood what else she was trying to say, that her feelings or attraction to him hadn't changed.

"Thank you."

With the argument done and dealt with, it suddenly felt as though nothing at all had happened since the last time they had kissed. He looped his thumbs around his duty belt to stop them reaching out for her, and he shifted his weight nervously. What had happened to her…he needed to find some way of telling her that even though he was going to give her space now, he wasn't rejecting her. While it had certainly taken a back seat, his desire and attraction to her hadn't changed. But he couldn't expect the same from her, they couldn't pretend nothing had happened.

"Are we okay?" he asked outright. "You and me?"

"Yeah," she nodded without hesitation. "We're okay."

"Good."

There was a long pause now, the two of them standing before one another as they struggled to get everything out in the open, both knowing what they wanted to say, just not how to say it. To his surprise, Carrie reached out and brushed her hand against his, a more than friendly gesture than made his heart speed up a little. He watched her carefully, following her gaze as she looked at the other cars. They were packed in such a formation that they couldn't see Rick and Carrie directly, and looking into the Hyundai they could just make our Carl's silhouette through the window. He was leaning into the front seat, pressing the buttons on the stereo system.

"What is it?" he asked.

She didn't answer immediately. Confident that Carl at least wasn't watching, Carrie stepped closer and without hesitation kissed him gently. She didn't linger, knowing they likely had an audience of some kind, but her action was clear and without misinterpretation. Both surprised and confused, Rick watched her as she took a step back and returned to a platonic distance, and he could tell she anxious for his reaction. Was she worried that he didn't want her anymore, that the things Granger had said repulsed him? Anxious, he turned and looked over his shoulder, relieved to see that Carl's attention was still on the stereo.

"I wouldn't do that with him watching," Carrie muttered.

Nodding, Rick clenched his hands into fists, wishing that he could reach out for her. Putting them into his pockets instead, he pawed the ground with the toe of his boot, plagued by uncertainty and indecision. His head bowed, Rick raised his eyes to Glenn in the car, glad to see that despite his curiosity, he was looking somewhere else. He wanted to say something to her, but he still didn't know what…hell, he didn't know where to look.

"Nothing has changed, Rick," Carrie said, seeing that he wasn't going to say anything. "Not for me, anyway."

He didn't immediately reply, still trying to find the right words. "I don't want that from you," he began, hastily correcting himself as he realised what he said. "I mean, I want it…but I don't expect it. You don't owe me anything."

"I'm not using you for protection," she said, repeating what she had told him earlier.

"I know," he assured her, trying not to dwell on that particular fear. "But I'd understand if things had changed for you, if you wanted me to give you space."

"I know what you're trying to say. Nothing has changed. Not for me."

Frowning at this, Rick sighed as he looked away for a moment, trying to understand. It wasn't his position to tell her how to feel about the things that had happened, but he couldn't help but question it. "Why?"

"Because what happened with those men is not going to rule my life," she said vehemently, the conviction in her voice making him look at her. "It didn't before, and it won't now."

His jaw clenched, Rick saw no suitable response other than a simple nod of acceptance. The certainty in her voice was what he needed to hear from her, her strength reassuring him that while she was putting on a happy facade for the rest of the group, it wasn't entirely false.

"Alright," he agreed slowly, accepting her answer. Still twisting the two of his boot on the ground, he sighed as he felt their conversation drawing to a close. They didn't have time to linger anymore…they had lost enough hours already. Clearing his throat, he looked her in the eye as he said one last thing. "Carrie, whatever happens next with us…it's your move."

She actually cracked a smile at this, the slight curve of her mouth movement making Rick want to kiss her properly. Restraining himself, he turned away from her and departed without another word, relieved that they seemed to have resolved things for now. Reaching the Hyundai, he glanced back at her, pleased to see that she was getting into the back of the minivan, likely going to stretch out and get some sleep. His head was spinning with everything that had happened, and it felt like days ago that they had left the group behind to lead the herd away. So much happened between the two of them that night, and the sheer weight of everything was staggering.

"Dad," Carl interrupted his thoughts, lowering the back window. "Is she okay?"

Looking at Carl, he was proud of his son's thoughtfulness, his caring nature. "You want to ride in the front?"

Pleasantly surprised by this offer, Carl didn't nag for an answer to his question. Letting him take the front seat where he and Michonne could keep each other company, Rick kicked off his boots and stretched out across the back, rearranging the pillows and bedding that had been haphazardly thrown in. While it hurt to lay down, the motion aggravating the left side of his chest, his whole body groaned in relief now that he was off his feet. His exhaustion made it all too easy to get comfortable, and he was fast asleep before their convoy of cars departed Rock Hill.


A/N - I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and that it was a good resolution for you. Many thanks to my beta Angie B who helped refine the fight between Rick and Carrie.

I'm going to make it a habit to start responding to reviews from now on, as I do appreciate them. Plus it means I can answer questions for you more directly.