The Wondrous Bacon Fountain

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to Rowling. All OCs/plot belong to me.

Tuesday morning. AKA: the day where Al and Awesome Adela realize that they have no plans for the dueling club meeting scheduled to start in twelve minutes and 22 seconds and that they are royally screwed.

I glanced at my watch again, pacing up and down the length of the spacious room. I couldn't help but be awed by the sheer size of it; the Room of Requirement certainly lived up to the hype. The moment we had walked past it (Numberita furiously concentrating on a bacon fountain the whole time), the Room had appeared, fully equipped with long wooden stages, a hydration station, and, yes, a bacon fountain. Al seemed a bit confused at first at that last bit, but he seemed to understand after seeing me beeline to it. Although the Room couldn't conjure up food (something about breaking a Law or something rubbish like that – I mean, honestly, would it really hurt the laws of physics to magically conjure up some bacon?), it had somehow summoned it from the kitchens. I'm sure the house elves should be pleased to find the 38 pounds of bacon missing.

Oops.

"Would you stop pacing?"

I paused for three seconds, shot Al my best wounded glare, and resumed my furious walk. He groaned, slumping down on the plush emerald (of course the git had tried to decorate the Room with Slytherin colors. I'd quickly rebelled against this when I realized what he was doing, and now the Room looked like some blue and green beast had vomited all over it) armchair next to the door.

"Okay, so they come in, we teach them a few spells, try not to have anyone get hurt and then sue us, and then that's that!" I said quickly, my voice rising a bit into hysteria. Merlin, I just knew we should have planned this out better!

Al and I had spent the better part of Saturday, Sunday, and Monday evening fighting/attempting to organize this. Honestly, the git couldn't accept a single one of my ideas without arguing some aspect or another (I thought bringing in hippogriffs as a disciplinary method was a bloody amazing idea! Nothing like the threat of heavily armed beasts to really get students into shape!).

A warm hand rested on my shoulder. I paused, glancing up into Al's disgustingly pretty (still not over that) eyes.

"Relax, Adela," he said seriously, his eyes searching mine. My breath caught for 8 seconds before I managed to nod.

You see, I (even with all my astounding Ravenclaw intellect) had not yet figured out where we stood. Al didn't seem to be so sure either. Yeah, we had kissed in the forest – but that was under extreme stress and adrenaline. I'm sure Al would have kissed anyone else if that person had been in that situation.

That thought burned in my heart; okay, so maybe I fancied him. But I was working on it!

Okay, I needed to pace some more. My right foot lifted three inches as I prepared another round of "let's see how many times I can walk around before Al explodes!"

Strong arms encircled my stomach, bringing me crashing down onto a rather comfortable lap.

"Eep!"

Al laughed, his breath ghosting over my ear. I shivered; Merlin, that boy was dangerous.

"Let me go!" I said, but my voice wavered a bit when Al began stroking small circles onto my waist. Note to self: start wearing some sort of protective vest. And no, I will not start wearing a straitjacket!

"I don't know, I kind of like this," he said cheerfully. I flushed, my cheeks turning an oh-so-attractive shade of overripe tomato. I shifted so that I could meet his eyes.

Erm. Bad idea. Al's bright green eyes glinted back at me, and his lips curled into a smirk.

"Yes?" he asked innocently. I spluttered intelligently (what? MY EVERY ACTION IS INTELLIGENT) for eight seconds before huffing and crossing my arms.

"What are we, Al?" I asked. Al quirked an eyebrow (damn him and his controllable eyebrows. I tried lifting an eyebrow once…I ended up getting sent to Dominus's office for "scaring the first years").

"What do you think we are?" he asked, the corners of his lips twitching. I scowled.

"Potter. You know what I mean. Are we…" I gestured wildly between us and managed to hit my own chin with my right arm. Joy. DEAR MERLIN WHY DO YOU HATE ME?

Al laughed at that. I shot him a threatening glare, but (unlike with Seth and Scorpius) Al didn't back down.

He quieted after a moment, a serious expression coming to his face.

"Adela. I'm rubbish with all this girly emotional stuff. But I do like you, even if you insist on being the most annoying prat I've ever known. Not to mention the fact that you insist on whacking random people…and refer to yourself in the third person…or the fact that in first year you used to practically stalk me…or-"

"ALL RIGHT THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH!"

Al smirked, flicking my nose. Git. I really did need to get around to "misplacing" Sir Archibald in his bed. See how he liked getting greeted by a cantankerous cat first thing in the morning. Wait. Did he just sa-

"I did not stalk you!" I protested hotly. Al laughed at that before saying, "Adela. You used to follow me all the time. You memorized my schedule. You even infiltrated the Slytherin Dungeons. Pretty sure that fits the whole stalking criteria."

I narrowed my eyes, images of Al getting multiple Howlers from "mystery" people whirling through my mind. Note to self: purchase five Howlers on the next Hogsmeade trip. Send them all to Al. Watch and enjoy the show.

I jumped off of his lap, brushing off my clothes in a very ladylike manner (if you ask me). Al rolled his eyes before standing up as well.

"Right, so we'll start with shield charms, then?" he suggested. I groaned; I hated shield charms. Not to mention the fact that we should have mastered them back in third year…but, of course, Professor Agrican had ruled them out for being too "emotionally stimulating." Even though we were all at least in sixth year, Al and I had decided that we might as well start with basic spells and work our way up. Neither of us wanted to be known as part of "that year that all failed their DADA NEWTs." Which we would be if Agrican continued to teach us.

Incompetent teachers = unhappy Adelas.

I realized that Al was still waiting for an answer, so I muttered a quick affirmation before fiddling with my wand. Al flicked my shoulder, and I glared up at him.

"Stop worrying so much," he ordered. I stuck out my tongue before moving to stand next to the door.

"Stupid Ravenclaw," he muttered under his breath. I whirled around, stalking up to him. I jabbed my finger at his white shirt (oh dear Merlin his chest was-ERM MOVING ON).

"You sir, have just committed the most blasphemous of crimes! Stupid Ravenclaw? That's practically an oxymoron! We Ravenclaws are not stupid. If anything, Slytherins are the nastiest sort of people! They're too stupid to do anything, so they make up for it through sly schemes and-mmph!"

All of a sudden Al's warm lips were on mine, and Numberita was effectively immobilized. Gah. Gah. Gah. Mind overload. Gah. Gah. Gah. Can't…think…

Al pulled away, smirking down at me. I stared up at him, my mouth open.

"Adela. Relax," he said. Numberita slowly began the process of rebooting as I scrambled around for a witty comment. Nothing.

Thanks a lot, Numberita.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Al cast one last amused look at me before saying, "Well, seeing as you're incapable of movement…I'll go answer it." I glared at his back and shook myself awake.

Prat.

"Hey, Al!" a cheery voice said. Huh. I knew that voice…

"Adela!"

A small form launched itself at me, enveloping me in a stifling hug. I froze, finding that my face was suddenly full of dark black braids. The girl pulled away from me, beaming happily at me. Oh. The Hufflepuff…what was her name? Kate! See? I am getting better with these names!

"Er…hi, Kate," I said awkwardly. I spotted Al's silently laughing form over her shoulder, and I shot him a quick glare before smiling at Kate. Merlin, Hufflepuffs are so…happy. A dark form approached us, standing behind Kate. Kate beamed up at him, and Xavier's oh so cheerful (not) face looked down at me skeptically. Curses. Why was I so short? Note to self: find some potion that will make me grow. Then go and rub my newfound height in Seth's face.

"This is the girl who's going to be teaching us to duel? She couldn't even figure out how to charm her way out of a bed!" he said disbelievingly. Well, there's House loyalty for you. I glowered up at him.

"Hush, Xavier!" Kate scolded him. I longed for ol' Bessie…I settled for pointing a threatening finger at him before shooing him towards the back of the room. Several other people streamed in, each one eying the room curiously. My smile grew increasingly strained as I greeted person after person. There's that girl I tackled last year…and that boy that made fun of my hair last summer…and that girl Seth brought back home. Emily Knightcast showed up (joy to the world. Not.) and immediately began simpering her way to Al. I shot a discreet freezing charm at her, and she yelped before scurrying to the back of the room. Hehehe.

Al gave me a knowing smirk, at which I shot a freezing charm at him too. Hey – I'm generous! No need to discriminate against my victims. Everyone deserves an equal shot at being my next target!

Dear Merlin if I get another lump of coal this year I will be extremely angry. Just look how generous I'm being! DO YOU SEE THIS KARMA?

Al glared at me as he closed the door after the last person entered. He bent down so his lips just brushed my cheek.

"Was that really necessary?" he whispered, his breath brushing my ear. I shivered; damn him and his irritating habit of speaking like that.

I nodded stubbornly, jerking away from him. "And what's this about a bed?" he asked curiously. Bed? I stared up at him for seven seconds before Numberita caught up. Oh! The whole Wood/Xavier thing.

"Wood locked me in a bed because I rummaged through his trunk to get ol' Bessie back," I explained. Al muffled a laugh, and I began imagining his head getting splattered with rotten tomatoes. I'm a lovely friend, I know.

Oh, sod off.

I stalked off towards the raised platform fifteen feet away and hopped onto it. I peered down at the hordes of Hogwarts students (Merlin, there were thirty six of them!) currently gathered below me. They all talked amongst themselves, chattering loudly about Quidditch/the latest gossip/etc.

"Erm…hello," I began. Chatter. I scowled; come on, the least they could do was listen to me.

If I had ol' Bessie with me I could probably go whack some people with her. That would get their attention. I glared at Wood's turned head, my eyes boring into his sandy hair. Git. Thief. Note to self: tell the house elves to stop giving him oatmeal raisin cookies.

"Oi!" I shouted. Nothing. Al chuckled behind me, and I whirled around to shoot him a dangerous glare. Why wasn't the git helping? After thirteen more fruitless seconds I yanked my wand from my trousers and pointed it at my throat.

"Sonorus," I whispered. A queer fuzzy sensation swept over my throat, and I kept my wand gently pressed against my throat as I opened my mouth three inches.

"OI!" The sound echoed harshly across the room, and every head whipped forward to peer indignantly at the source of the yell. I coughed, flushing a bit at the weight of everyone's eyes. Merlin, I wasn't good with these kinds of situations. Seth was better at it. Seth. I met his eyes, and he flashed me a quick thumbs up. I smiled back at him before casting a stern glare (my best imitation of Professor McGonagall's infamous one) down at my humble subjects. Hehe.

"All right, you lot. We're going to work on shield charms today," I began. Mutter. Groan. Whine. Merlin, I can't believe our generation. Why do they whine so mu-OI! I do not whine!

Okay, so maybe I do. But only a little!

Sod off.

"Look, I know this is basic stuff. But honestly? We need to start as low as we can get, considering the skill level of you lot. It's not like Agrican's the best of teachers," I said, dropping my wand from my throat when it became clear that they were going to stay quiet.

A warm arm dropped across my shoulders, and I resisted the urge to jab my foot backwards and hit the person in his goblinitusitus bitotus. So now the git decides to do his job?

"Adela's right. The shield charm is arguably one of the most important spells. You need a proper defense before you can attack," he said darkly. I tilted my chin upwards, watching as his eyes clouded over. He was obviously still agonizing over the whole Forbidden Forest incident. I reached up and unceremoniously poked his cheek.

"Oi!" he muttered, looking down at me. The tips of his eyelashes brushed his cheeks, his bright green eyes contrasting with the inky black of his eyebrows and hair. He smirked when he saw that I was staring at him, and he bent down to press his lips lightly against my forehead for two seconds. Oh Merlin. I flushed, ducking underneath his arm and scooting five inches away.

I looked at the crowd of students. Oops. Bad idea. Seth looked confused, a furious scowl twitching at the ends of his lips. Evil Redhead looked like she wanted to stab me in my sleep. Note to self: try to train Sir Archibald to defend my bed. Who was I kidding? The blasted cat would probably let her into my dorm, opposable thumbs or not.

Rose was staring at us disapprovingly, and Scorpius just looked plain confused. Selia looked like she was torn between crying and hexing me.

Fantastic. Just bloody fantastic.

Numberita whirled, trying to think of an explanation for what had just happened. Nothing. Looked like I was on my own. Again. Note to self: find some way to get Numberita to work again. Consider bribing with bacon. Bacon solved everything.

"RIGHT SO THERE ARE FIVE BASIC VARIATIONS OF THE SHIELD CHARM. I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD START WITH THE EASIEST ONE. PROTEGO," I bellowed, whipping my arm around in a diagonal slashing motion. A spurt of icy blue glass appeared and formed a half bubble around my front, distorting the wincing students in front of me.

"You are a very loud person," Al observed. I whirled, keeping the shield charm up so the others couldn't see us clearly.

"Merlin, Al, what were you thinking?" I hissed. Al looked confused, his left hand rising to ruffle through his hair.

"What?" he asked.

"What about Seth? I wanted to break this…thing to them gradually. Not in front of the whole school!" I said angrily, flailing my arms around. Al blinked, horror dawning to his eyes.

"Oh Merlin. I didn't even think about your brother," he whispered. I rolled my eyes; figures. Did he hesitate one second before thrusting himself into the clutches of werewolves on a full moon? Nope. But an adolescent boy who went around shouting "battlecry"? Terrifying.

I groaned before turning slowly 180˚ to face the students. Numberita dropped the charm, and I said briskly, "Right, so pair up and line up on the wooden platforms. No lethal charms. I do not want to have to explain why dozens of students are suddenly showing up at the infirmary with elephant tusks or some other rubbish protruding from their bodies."

I fixed a pointed glare at the Slytherins, and they looked away sheepishly.

"Eh, you can throw a few jinxes if they deserve it," Al said lightly. My mouth dropped open and I turned to glare at him. He smirked, a rather Slytherinesque glint coming over his eyes. Oh Merlin.

The Slytherins all grinned, their fingers twitching to their wands as they eyed the Gryffindors. Which, of course, made the Gryffindors start their typical "OH MERLIN WE NEED TO BLOW UP IN SCENES OF EXCESSIVE ANGER TO PROTECT OUR BELOVED LION REPUTATION!" thing. I resisted the urge to smack my head against the wall.

Good lord.

"Right, off with you!" I said. Scorpius scampered off with Rose, who was still casting rather disproving looks at me. I flushed, staring at my feet. I'd managed to cast the whole library incident out of my head…but when faced with Rose Weasley's judgmental stare, it all came rushing back at me.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up into Al's concerned eyes and managed a weak smile.

"Yeah."

He didn't look entirely convinced, but a Hufflepuff managed to get hit with a particularly nasty slug jinx and Al left to fix him.

I sighed heavily, watching his retreating back pensively.

What was I doing?

Author Note: Sigh. Sometimes I just wish I could pause time so I would have time to catch up on everything (sleep, rest, writing fanfics, reading, having fun, etc…). Anyway, please review! IMPORTANT: In order to show my appreciation to people who take the time to review, I'VE DECIDED TO RESPOND TO EACH REVIEW WITH A TEASER OF THE NEXT CHAPTER.