Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five-O or anything you recognize from it.

Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person. Tennessee Williams

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Chapter Twenty-Eight

Redemption from the Stygian Void of Destitution and Hopelessness

Melissa walked; she walked until the hurt burning in her gut became numb, the shivers racking her body became inconsequential and the pounding rain and thunder were but a distant echo in her mind. She didn't know how long she walked for, her clothing soaked through, becoming a second layer of wet logged skin. But she didn't want to stop; she couldn't stop. Because if she did…she wasn't sure what would happen. Would the void turn to scorn, would she actually feel anything but stygian hopelessness?

She walked until the sun had fallen, the streets shrouded by the night and though she knew she couldn't walk forever, it was her way of running away from everything. Was this really her life? Of adoring men but never having them fight for her, of having one close friend but not being worthy enough for her time and being pushed aside? She didn't have the answers anymore but a small voice in the back of her head screamed that she'd have to find them for herself. That no one would save her and her job depended on it; in a sick way, her job was who she was. It was thankless, bloody and all consuming, but it was the one place that she didn't falter, that she knew where she stood; she knew the truth.

She glanced up and noticed that she was near her place; maybe she'd sleep tonight. Maybe, just maybe she'd sleep and not have any nightmares of hell or any dreams free from the crushing loneliness. But she knew the truth. She realized what she had to do; she'd pack up her things, sell her loft and pretend that Hawaii and her time spent on the island never existed. For the rest of her leave, maybe she'd go somewhere exotic, free from the weight of violence. But she didn't know where and she saw violence wherever she went. She'd have to do some research in vacation spots before she'd leave. With a new resolve to burn whatever was left of life here to the ground, she walked with a new vigour to the entrance of the building, stepping under the shelter from the rain and stopped dead in her tracks.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice rougher than sandpaper.

Danny pushed away from the entrance, a slight shiver emanating from him, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you? How about five hours, huh? Where the hell were you? And why are you soaking wet? What happened to you anyway? You look like you tried to stop a moving car."

Melissa frowned at him, her mind too sluggish to respond properly to all of the questions he posed, "It's raining." She said pointedly, nodding towards the unsheltered area.

She moved around him and swiped the key card through and opened the door, "Go home, Danny. I'm not in the mood."

Danny cursed, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the elevator, "I don't care that you're not in the mood, you need a good ass kicking and I'm starting to think that I'm the only privileged one."

She unsuccessfully tried to wretch her arm away, being dragged behind him, "What, did Kono send you?"

He ignored her jab, grabbing the keys from her frozen fingers. He tried to ignore the paleness to her skin, the slight blue hue to her lips or the fact that her hair was dripping a steady stream; he could be concerned later. "You need some sense shaken into you."

She finally ripped her arm from his grasp and stepped further into her place, "Get out."

Danny slammed the door shut, locking it and throwing the keys on a nearby table; it was now or never. "You know, when I first met you, I hated you."

Melissa snorted, "And I you."

"But then I got to see you in action, see the way you not only took on the case but you made it personal, you—"

"I never made it personal!" Melissa snapped.

He ignored her, "You did and you know what? You impressed me, my respect and slight admiration for you was growing."

She made a disgusted sound, ignoring the way he was pacing in front of her, "Please, save the crap for another time."

"Shut up!" Danny snapped, "But then I saw how you treated the people around you, how you didn't really see anything but the case. You're mind is constantly working, even when you're supposed to be on vacation. Don't you ever get tired? Don't you ever just stop? You're hurting yourself, Melissa and the people that care about you too!"

She rolled her eyes, "This is starting to sound like an intervention." She knew it was immature and petty but she couldn't handle the fact that Danny was finally ripping away her clutches to the pseudo-reality she had weaved.

"See? You act like you're some kind of superhero, infallible and impartial to feelings. Do you want to know what Kono did after you both had a little spat over the phone earlier this evening? She cried; she was inconsolable!" Danny shook Melissa.

She pushed away from him, "I can't control how much she feels; that she is an emotional creature." In the back of her mind, it finally triggered that Danny was Mr Mystery Man.

Danny cursed and shook her violently, "No, Melissa. She's normal! That's what normal people do, they feel, they cry, they get upset!"

She pushed away from him, tripping on her feet and trying to right herself, "What? I know I'm not normal, okay? I know that I don't cry or that I don't feel! That sometimes all I want to do is stop fighting because I'm so freaking tired of this. I don't want to look at another victim and hear their story; I don't want to tell family members how their loved ones were brutally killed and all the while, inside I feel nothing but void. Have you ever thought that maybe I just want to be normal? That maybe I want a man that'll burn the world for me, if I asked?" She finished in a shout, her stomach twisting.

"Have you ever thought of talking to someone?" Danny asked quietly.

She made a derisive sound, "Who do I have? Kono? I don't want to put her through what I deal with everyday and if I go to someone at the Bureau, my objectivity goes into question."

Danny stepped closer, "You need to let go."

"I don't know how. And if I try, I destroy every chance I get." She confessed.

He made a move towards her but she lifted a hand to stop him, her stomach churning, "I think I'm going to be sick."

She rushed towards the bathroom and fell to her knees, retching in the toilet, wishing that she didn't feel like a battering ram. She hated vomiting and she especially hated doing so publically. She gagged painfully, not even aware of Danny gently pushing her hair away from her face, all she knew was the fire slowly seeping into her, the cool tears of pain running down her face. She finally became aware of her throbbing wounded hand, realizing that she had must of hit her broken hand on the way down, her bruises screaming in protest.

Danny laid a hand on her forehead and muttered a dark expletive and for once, Melissa didn't mind being touched. She leaned into his touch, letting his hand cool the burning that seemed to be taking over, "You're burning up with a fever. We've got to get you out of these freezing clothes and try to warm you up."

Melissa feebly tried to slap away his hands, wanting to fight the delirium, "You're Kono's mystery man." She commented deliriously.

Danny objectively began to strip Melissa of her clothing, the entire time trying to find a reasonable and calm way to tell Kono he stripped her best friend of her clothing. He cursed under his breath when he took note of the bruises littering her body; the cuts and scrapes and then he saw them, white faded scars marring her back. He traced one and realized that the only way they could look so clean was if a knife created them. He'd tie her up if he had to but he would find out whom the bastard was that did it to her.

He reached over into the shower and started it, making sure it was hot enough to heat her through, "Come on now, Jonesy."

She muttered and tried swatting his hands away but inevitably, the fever took over and she allowed herself to be placed under the steaming spray of the shower. He held her up with one hand and fished out his phone from his pocket in the other, "Danny?"

"Babe, I've got her." He explained, hearing the relieved sigh emanate from her.

"How is she?" Deny everything that he could, he had to admit; Melissa and Kono were complete opposites but they loved each other and were closer than sisters. And he knew regardless of the little spat they had earlier, not even a day would pass before one of them would admit wrongdoing.

"Well, she looked as if she were taking a stroll in the rain when she finally came back and we had a little…conversation before she hurled and I realized she had a fever." He explained.

"You argued with her? Danny, she probably became sick because you argued with her! You're both hard headed, knowing you two, she very well could have died from pneumonia if it weren't for her vomiting!" Kono snapped.

Danny snorted, "You're blaming me for her getting herself sick?"

"Where is she now?" Kono asked, deflecting the conversation.

"In the shower." Danny offered no explanation.

"Good, I'll be right over." Kono said.

Danny blinked, "You don't even care that I saw her naked?"

Kono laughed, "Why would I? She needed to get out of those wet clothes and plus, you and I are an item, I know how you two feel about each other."

Danny acquiesced, "Don't bother coming here. Just go to work tomorrow and tell Steve that I'm too sick to move. I'll take care of Melissa until you get off from work."

They said their goodbyes and Danny stared at his closed phone knowing that he'd have to tell Kono one day how he really felt about her. But she was a free spirit, how would she react to hearing the four-letter word that began with the letter L? It wasn't like he was planning it either but it just sort of…happened!

Melissa shook herself from the sweeping delusions that threatened to take over and let the warmth seep into her, "It hurts." She muttered, her body shivering from the temperature changes.

"I know." She heard Danny's concerned voice comment from the other side of the shower curtain. She watched as his hand reached down and turned the nozzles off and her luxurious hot shower stopped. He pulled the curtain back and moved towards her with a fluffy ivory towel in his arms.

She stepped into the towel knowing full well this was one of the only times that she'd ever let herself be vulnerable. But she threw aside the doubt as another shiver racked through her body. Danny closed his arms around her and she let herself be rocked, the nearness of another human being calming her soul. "Danny…?"

"Yes?"

"Thank-you." She whispered.

He kissed her on her forehead and she closed her eyes against the pain, tears welling behind her eyelids, "I hurt so much."

Danny pulled back and looked at her worriedly, "Where?"

She pointed to her heart and a sob fell from her, "My heart. It hurts, Danny and I don't know what to do."

He bent and picked her up, carrying her to her bed, "Who hurt you?"

"He broke my heart." She confessed, tears falling freely. Danny settled her on his lap as she clung to him.

"Who?" Danny asked wishing he brought his gun. In an innocent way, Melissa reminded him of his Grace in that moment, looking like a drowned kitten, so vulnerable and lost.

"I came back here to visit and I wanted to surprise him with dinner tonight. I was preparing it and he came home and you know what? He looked upset that I was there!" Melissa curled around him, tightening her arms around his waist. "Then someone was at the door and he opened it and you know who it was?"

"Who?" Danny asked.

"Julie!" She tightened her arms around him and cried.

"That cow." Danny retorted, "But honey, who's Julie?"

"His once ex-fiancée but now his real fiancée." She explained wishing he'd follow along.

"But you don't love him, I mean, you two only dated for six months or so. He couldn't have broken your heart." Danny tried to reason.

She pulled back and frowned at him, "Its not about time…it's about the fact that he lied to me but maybe I lied to him as well…we're both liars! But he never fought for me!"

Danny suddenly wished he hadn't told Kono to stay home; he needed help with this conversation. "What did you lie about?"

"I pretended to like him as much as I like someone else. He was my second best choice." She muttered.

Danny ran a hand through his hair, he had no plans of understanding anything tonight, "Wait…you like another person? Then why date Rourke?" Danny realized as the words left his mouth that she wasn't just upset about Rourke, the floodgates had finally opened up and she was feeling things that she probably hadn't felt in a long time. Closure had finally come.

"I like him a lot and I thought if I lied to myself and tried to make Rourke my number one choice, I could get over my little crush." She explained, wiping a hand over her wet face.

"Do you love him?" Danny asked quietly.

Melissa pulled back and thought about it, horror marring her face when she realized why she had been feeling so miserable all along, "Oh my god, that stupid bastard made me fall in love with him!" She actually loved Steve? As in, "I'm in love with you." The horror turned into terror when she realized he was the first person she had actually fallen in love with and boy, had she fallen hard. "No, it has to be a mistake, right?"

Danny solemnly shook his head, "I'm afraid not. You love him all right."

Melissa threw her arms around Danny and cried harder, "I don't feel too good now. I thought I'd feel better."

Danny smiled tenderly, glad she couldn't see his face, "That's because you have a fever. If you get in bed, you can sleep it off."

She nodded, moving off of him to slip under the mountain of covers, "Danny?"

He fluffed the pillows for her, asking absently, "Yes?"

"Thank you." She quietly affirmed, closing her eyes.