Rated: T
Word Count: 4,543
Summary: Clarke has decided, why should she stay in a sexless relationship for years only to end up married to a guy with no experience resulting in probably boring sex when she could have the smooth-talking, sexy, freckled bartender?
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot /
A/N: Alright, I have too many things to say.
1. If anything is in italics and underlined it's in a different language.
2. I do not speak another language beyond English, all my translations are through google translate.
3. возможно means Perhaps.
4. Русская моба means Russian mob.
5. Leave my super white Russian nail salon alone, I'm not racist, this is just a thing that's near my house that I think is funny.
6. I feel like I attack Sterling too much, I miss his character.
7. In case you didn't know, the title is a play on the classic "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".
8. I'm aware of how quick everything in this is, just... let me live my hopeless romantic dream.
9. I am not attacking any religion or anyone's choices, this is just my personal shit, so sorry if you are offended.
10. Also, I'm not doing a second part for this one, therefore there not much more explanation going on, which brings me to 11...
11. Bellamy's second job is just a really well-known author, but he uses a pseudonym
12. I feel like I had more to say, but I've lost it...ok, you may proceed to read the story.
Sterling was- is a great guy. He's still a great guy, just maybe not the one she's looking for right now.
She thought it had been going so well.
Her roommate, Monroe, had set them up. They got along. Had plenty in common. Their dates went well. He was a good kisser. She wasn't too worried when he said he wanted to go slow.
In hindsight, she probably should've thought about it more before three months had passed, but it went by so quickly she didn't even have the time.
Clarke wasn't worried, per se. Well, not really.
She's certainly no prude, but she's not a stranger to taking things slowly as well. So she wasn't too worried.
It'd been around two months when she started to become a bit more concerned. But instead of outright asking, she decided to just push a bit farther each time. They had gotten up to making out with some heavy petting, at close to the three-month mark, but that was as far as he let it get.
It wasn't pissing her off exactly, she was still fine with going slow. But it had been awhile since she'd gotten laid, it'd been awhile before she even got together with Sterling. So it wasn't pissing her off, she was just frustrated...
"Hey, I don't think you ever told me how you and Sterling met." She brings it up one night when the two girls are drinking and watching bad rom-coms.
"Oh, uh, funny enough, Chruch camp."
That made Clarke's eyes bulge a little.
"Church camp?" Her question was filled with hesitation and confusion.
"Yeah, my uh, dad was worried about me." Zoe scratched the back of her neck, "He thought I was losing my beliefs and living a sinful lifestyle and wanted to help."
"So he figured out you were a lesbian and sent you to pray the gay away?" Clarke summed up, somewhat annoyed.
"Pretty much." The redhead let out a small laugh, clicking open her phone to look at her lock screen; a picture of her and her girlfriend of over a year.
Clarke, herself, was an atheist, but she'd grown up in a Christian household. She understood what it was like to not have a parent support her sexuality.
"So Sterling, he..."
"He's one of the good ones! Totally, one hundred percent supportive."
Clarke chuckles, she already knew that. She makes sure that people know, on the first date, that she's bi because if they can't deal with it she can't deal with them.
"Yeah, no, I meant is he-," She gets cut off again by her phone vibrating.
A selfie of her and the man in question pop up on her screen.
Zoe gives her a little smirk, Clarke rolls her eyes and answers it.
"Hey, Clarke, You busy?"
"Not really, why? What's up?"
"I was just wondering if we could go grab something to eat, there are a few things I want to talk about."
It left her cautious and curious, "Bad things?"
He laughed a little, "Not really, no."
Reassuring, she thought sarcastically, "Uh, yeah, sure. Where at?"
He gave her the name and texted her directions after she hung up.
"Sorry, Zo. I'm bailing on you."
"What?! No! I just found one of the cheesiest ones!" She'd pulled up a playlist of Nicholas Sparks movies.
"Next time, promise."
"Fine, traitor."
Dinner was fine, they didn't talk about anything out of the ordinary so Clarke figured he was saving it for after.
And she was right.
"Do you want to come up for a bit?" He offered when they got to his building.
"Sure."
He poured her a glass of wine before sitting across from her, distancing himself.
"So..."
"So..." They sat in quiet for a minute. "Monroe said you guys met at church camp," He looks at her, "Didn't know you were religious."
He heaves a sigh, "Yeah. That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."
This is it, she thinks, this is the 'I support your sexuality, I just can't be with you because of it' speech.
"I, uh- Look, I like you..." But you, as a person, defy my religion. She internally rolls her eyes
He clears his throat, "Sorry, there's just no easy way to say this. Never is."
"It's fine, I get it you-"
"I'm a virgin." That catches her off guard, leaving her to make a choked/strangled sound in the back of her throat. "And I plan to remain that way," She doesn't dare to breathe, "until marriage."
Whoomp, there it is! Her mind is being deprived of oxygen at this point.
She doesn't say anything for a solid two minutes, she's not sure she blinks either. She might've just died since she wasn't confident she's still breathing. But he waves a hand in front of her face, bringing her back to reality.
"Oh...K..." She starts off regular, dipping down and bringing her voice back up into a question at the end.
He lets out an awkward chuckle, "Sorry, I know it's a lot to handle. Like I said, it's never easy telling women."
She doesn't know what to say. She likes Sterling, but it's only been a few months, she's not sure she wants to marry him.
"Anyway..." He starts again, breaking the awkward silence she's created, "I'm not holding you to anything, obviously. I like you, but it's really up to you. I know..." He prattles on about her choice, she mostly tunes out.
She's not quite sure how or when she went outside, but she finds herself sitting behind the steering wheel of her car staring off into space. She wants to scream.
Her first reaction is to go home and drink a lot, but Monroe is still home so that's not an option. Her second is to call Monty or Raven and go get plastered, but they're both working late. Her third is to just drive to the closest bar and drink alone.
She's been to Walden before, and it's kind of a dive but the good kind.
The booze is good and the atmosphere isn't too "college frat guy looking for females to prey on".
She sits at the bar and orders a few shots, slamming them down before ordering a vodka cranberry to nurse. She's not the most alcohol-driven of her friends, she can drink most of them under the table in fact, but tonight she just didn't want to be conscious.
By her third drink, the bartender was asking for her keys.
"What?"
"Keys. You can't drive."
"Ah, I'm fine." He leveled her with a glare so she relented and handed the ring over.
"Bad break up?" He questioned.
It was a fair assumption, she'd been drinking a lot and alone all evening.
"Huh? Oh, no."
"You want to talk about it?" She quirked an eyebrow. "I'm a bartender, people like talking about their problems."
She gives it a minute but ultimately decides she has nothing better to do.
She goes into detail about how great Sterling is and how great her relationship is with him. She also states how it's probably one of the best ones she's had in years. She then goes on about how that fact was what led her to believe something horrendous would lead to its end.
"Well, how did you know?" She gives him a look of confusion, "How'd you know that something bad would happen?"
"Oh. Well, my relationships have never been...steady? Like, either they're always rocky and last for a long time or they're perfect for a few months and then I find out he slept with my roommate."
One of his brows go up, "You make it sound like that roommate thing happened more than once."
She takes a long sip before heaving out a sigh, "I mean...she was cutting me a great deal on rent..."
He let out a long, hardy laugh before telling her to proceed.
She was sat at that bar, talking for what must have been over an hour before it hit her. Why should she stay in a sexless relationship for years only to end up married to a guy with no experience resulting in probably boring sex when she could have the smooth-talking, sexy, freckled bartender?
"It's just that- I mean-! There are things I want to do with my life!" He gave her a look, so she specified, "sexual things," making his eyebrows fly into his hairline.
"Well," he coughed, "that's just, ahem, quite unfortunate."
She gave him a small smirk before shaking her head and taking another sip.
Clarke was outside taking a smoke break when her phone rang again.
Raven this time.
"Wassup?"
"Wassup? Really? Monroe just called, said you haven't been home for hours. She called Sterling too, he said you left like three hours ago."
Three hours? Wow, that was impressive, even for her.
"Yeah, I just got some news. Sidenote, minor hypothetical, if you had just found out you were in a sexless relationship with a guy until y'all's possible marriage then found a really sexy bartender, would you break up with the guy and hook up with the bartender?"
There's a pregnant pause.
"That feels very specific for a hypothetical."
"It may or may not be."
"So he's that kind of Christian?"
"Yeah," Clarke heaved a sigh. "I mean, there's wrong with it, obviously, I just-"
"Couldn't last that long without sex. Yeah, I get it. I couldn't either."
The blonde sighs again, "Why do I feel so terrible?"
"Maybe it has something to do with that fact that you've been drinking for three hours?" Raven tries, but they both know it's not that. "Fine. Yes."
"What?"
"The answer to your 'hypothetical that isn't a hypothetical'. Yes, I would break up with the guy. You don't see a future and if he was looking to be set up he's probably looking for one."
"And the bartender?" Clarke asks with a slightly hopeful unturn at the end.
Raven sighs, "Yes. I would probably sleep with the bartender. Depends on how hot he is, but y'know. Doesn't mean you have to or that you should, but that's my take on it."
But Clarke's been silently pumping her fist from the word yes, she didn't care at this point of her night.
The two talk until the blonde's cigarette has been burned to the filter then she walks back in the bar. From the door she sees him behind the bar, flirting with other female patrons and it hits her again. She can't do that. Not to him, not to Sterling, not to herself.
She sends a quick text to Monroe asking to pick her up and waits for the 'on the way' text back, before heading up to the bar again.
"Hey," he says, smiling, when she reclaims her seat, "I was beginning to think you ran out on me there."
She gives a small smile back, "Nope, just a phone call. My roommate is coming to pick me up."
He looks slightly bummed for a second before schooling his face back into a smirk, "Hopefully not the one who slept with the past boyfriends."
She laughs, he makes her laugh. He makes her feel warm all around.
"No, new one. She's actually the one who set me up with Sterling in the first place."
He nods a little like he's waiting for her to go on. She studies his face for a moment before settling.
"You tell me something about yourself."
"What?" His smile falters for a second, but not because he's offended, just because he's caught off guard.
"Tell me about yourself. I've been talking about myself for hours now, I don't even know your name."
His smile turns into a full-blown smirk as he leans his forearms on the counter and gets closer to her, "Too be fair, I don't know your name either so..."
She smirks back, "Clarke."
"Bellamy."
They talk about him until Zoe slides up next to her. She learns enough to know she doesn't regret her decision; she likes him.
"I'll see you tomorrow." She tells him as she's leaving.
He gives her a strange look but doesn't question it. Plays it off, assuming it's just more drunk talk from the blonde chick. But she knows he watches her walk out of the bar in stiletto heels; there's nothing drunk about her.
The next morning she meets up with Sterling for breakfast at the diner that just around the corner from her apartment.
They break up, but it's good, they decide they can still be friends.
He drops her off at work on his way to his job.
The day goes by as usual, beyond getting a ride home from one of her coworkers.
Monroe's not mad or surprised about their break-up.
She is surprised when Clarke asks if she wants to go out for drinks that night.
"Drinks?" The blonde nods, already getting ready. "Um, yeah sure. Where?"
She hesitates, "Walden."
Monroe stops and straightens out her spine. "Walden." there's a long silence. "This have anything to do with the bartender from last night?"
"I mean- I left my car there, so if I could just-" Zoe breaks out laughing through her rushed explanation.
"Relax, Clarke. I don't care, I told you that. Yeah, Walden works."
She doesn't get too dressed up, it's still a dive bar. But she does put on a fresh face of makeup and re-up her deodorant and perfume.
When they get there it's after ten, and it happens to be fairly crowded. But she supposes that's what happens when going to a bar on a Friday night.
She doesn't spot him right away, but after getting Monroe and Raven seated in a booth, she makes her way up to the bar. He's not there for their first few rounds, and after the third, she's guessing he's not working.
It's a little after midnight when Clarke orders their drinks from a brunette girl with intricate braids along the side of her head. She's pretty but looks way too much like a girl from her high school for Clarke to really be interested.
Now, she does give her order to the girl, Roma was what she said her name was, but Bellamy was the one to deliver them.
"Hey, you're back." He gives her an easy smile.
"Yeah, well I realized this morning on my way out that I had left both my car and my keys with you." She gives him the right information but keeps a smile on her face too.
His drops a little.
"Oh, shit-!"
"That's promising."
"No, no, it's just- I left them back at my place."
Clarke's not an idiot, she's pretty damn sure he did just leave them at his place, but if it was a line...damn what a line. She's kind of impressed, in a weird way.
"Oh, um, I could...come back tomorrow?" She speaks, unsure of herself. Coming to a bar three nights in a row, even if one of them is just to pick up her car, isn't the coolest look.
He hesitates, "Or...you could come over. Grab them. After my shift." He also seems unsure.
They're both in a state of not really knowing where to go or what to say.
Raven clears her throat, "Yes, she'd love to do that, wouldn't you Clarke?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, totally." Clarke stumbles over her words.
"Cool. I get off in an hour, sound good?"
"In more ways than one" Clarke heard Raven mumble, making Zoe laugh.
"Yeah, I'll be here."
"Cool." He walked away and Clarke slapped her friends.
"You guys suck."
"I mean, so do you, but I'm pretty sure that's what he's hoping for so..." Clarke punches Raven in the arm extra hard.
The waiting is pretty boring. She has to stop drinking, just in case this goes the way she wants it to, she wouldn't want to have to stop because she's too drunk. But eventually his shift ends and she's ditching her friends.
"So, you have some... interesting friends..." It makes her laugh.
"Yeah, they kind of suck but I love them," Clarke explains how she met the two, taking up the time it takes to walk to his- rather nice- apartment building.
"Sorry, it's not much, but..." He says when he opens the door.
She stays quiet because- fuck if she's not impressed. His apartment is bigger than hers and as far as she knows, he lives alone.
"Do you have a second job? Or a roommate?" She asks, looking around.
"Uh, yeah. Second job. Why?"
"No reason." She keeps looking at his stuff, amazed.
"It's really not much," He sounds shy when he says it, and she finds it adorable.
"You're joking, right?" She almost pushed up against the glass of his giant window, loving the view.
"What?" He sounds genuinely confused, turning back to look at him she finds that he is.
"You realize this is a nice place, right? Like- really fucking expensive." She goes back to staring out the window, wishing she could sketch it.
"Yeah, I'm aware, I'm the one who pays the rent." He laughs.
"Well, you're getting your money's worth." She's still just reeling from the whole thing.
"It's really not that impressive."
She turns to him and narrows her eyes. "Bellamy, I live in a shoebox of an apartment; it's a two-bedroom in a shitty neighborhood. Now that is not much, this is fucking amazing."
He seems shocked by her admission.
"Really?"
"Yes, you are well aware of how great your place is."
"No, I mean- why is your place so small?"
She laughs, "What do you mean why? I'm a nail tech most days and I work at a bookstore on my days off."
He still looks completely confused.
"Granted, my salon job pays more than usual, seeing as it's in one of the richest, whitest neighborhoods in this state and run by like the Russian mob. But it's still not great."
"Huh."
"What?"
"Nothing, you're just...not what I expected."
She chuckles, "What were you expecting?"
"Honestly? A spoiled, rich, white girl with too high standards."
Clarke lets out a long laugh.
"Oh, god. No. Wrong person. I mean- was I raised by a rich white family who expected me to be a doctor and marry our family friend? Yes-"
"See? I was close."
"But that plan kind of got thrown off track."
"How so?"
"Mum got thrown in jail and all of her assets were frozen, including my college tuition." His eyes bulge. "Turns out insider trading is illegal, who would've thought?"
He lets out a steady laugh.
"Yeah, crazy."
"Anyway, I have some money from a trust fund my dad left me, but most of that went to student loans and car payments."
"Yeah, that's kind of where I got the assumption." She drives a nice car, it's easy for people to get the wrong assumption. She tells him as much. Right before she kisses him that is.
He responds eagerly, pushing her against the wall. But he breaks away far too soon.
"Wait, did you say you work for the Russian mob?"
She smirks, "возможно."
She doesn't wait for him to respond, pulling him back in, pressing her lips against his and letting him drag her down the hall.
Waking up in a bed that's probably big enough for more than two people is slightly mind-boggling. But- it's nice.
Noticing that she's going to be late for work, not as nice. She looks to the other side of the bed and finds it empty, but she also finds her keys on his bedside table.
She rushes to get dressed, not really concerning herself with where Bellamy went. Niylah and Harper can only cover for her for so long before Nia gets upset.
She's putting her hair up as she walks out and find's Bellamy sitting at his kitchen island, typing on his computer.
He notices her and smiles, then notices she's dressed and drops his smile, "What's-"
She kisses him to stop him.
"I had a great time last night, seriously." She keeps talking as she backs toward the door, "I'd be interested in seeing you again. I left my cell number on a napkin by your bed, text me if you want but I'm going to be late for work and as I said last night, Русская моба, and they're not fun to piss off so...text me!" She shuts the door and rushes down the stairs.
She has to haul ass back to get back to Walden, get her car, and drive way over the speed limit to make it to work only five minutes late.
"Clarke." Unfortunately, Roan is still waiting for her when she gets there.
Niylah gives her a sympathetic smile when she passes the other blonde.
"You're late."
"I can ex-"
"And you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday."
She blushes slightly.
"Like I said, I can-"
"No explanation needed, just don't let whatever happened effect you getting to work on time again, got it?" He smirks at her before throwing an extra smock at her.
That's just one of the reasons she likes Roan better than his mom, he's much more forgiving than she is.
She takes up her station in between Harper and Niylah. The two girls now smirking at her. Diana, a middle-aged woman in a pastel polo shirt, takes up the seat in front of her before the girls start speaking to her in Russian.
"So I see you're still in the same clothes as last night," Harper smirks at her.
"And I see you're still not minding your own business."
"Of course not, you made us cover for you. You think we're staying out of it? You're out of your mind." Niylah gives her a devious smile. All three girls giggle.
"Ladies, I hope you're not disrespecting our customers." Roan raises his voice at them.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Sydney, I hope I wasn't being too disrespectful." Clarke looks up at her customer.
"Not at all, darling." The older woman goes on to gossip about her friend's affair with their personal trainer and how scandalous it is. "What about you, honey?"
"Hmm?"
"Have you got anyone...spicy in your life?" She leans forward on her emphasis. The question makes the women next to her lean in, as well as Clarke's coworkers.
Clarke just sighs and smiles, "Unfortunately, no."
"That's such a shame, darling. A young girl like you? With a body like that? When I was your age, looking like that, I would run around town..." Diana goes into detail about all the outrageous things she did when she was younger, but Clarke doesn't really listen. She's far too busy wondering what Bellamy is doing. Thinking about last night, perhaps? That's what she was doing her entire drive over here.
The three women get up, still talking about Diana's younger life, and go over to the hand washing station, leaving the girls to talk.
"Ok, cut the crap, you totally hooked up last night."
"Yeah, and?"
The other two gasp at her.
"What do you mean 'yeah and?' That's huge! you haven't gotten laid since Lexa!"
"Yeah, I'm aware Harper, I didn't need you to tell me."
"What Harper means to say is that we're glad things worked out with Sterling." Clarke winces, making both of her friend's take notice.
"What?"
"It might not have been Sterling..." Before she can explain further, the customers come back and take their seats.
"We're not done talking about this," Niylah speaks in a tone that leaves no room for argument.
After the day is done and Clarke is about to turn her phone on again her friends corner her.
"Alright, start talking." She explains everything to them. By the end they have opinions.
"He sounds dreamy," Harper croons.
"He sounds like a player," Niylah crosses her arms and looks at Clarke with a critical eye.
Clarke looks annoyed.
"Look, I just don't want you getting hurt again. Sorry if that makes me a bad friend." Niylah defends herself when both girls look at her with upset expressions.
Clarke softens a bit.
"I appreciate that, but I can handle myself." She turns towards her car and turns her phone on.
Sitting down in the driver's seat she sees seventeen new messages and hopes at least two are from him.
10:42 AM
Monroe
Hey, so...
I'm going to assume since you didn't come home...
That you are getting laid
Therefore I am proud.
See you after work.
1:27 PM
Raven
Zoe just texted.
I'm proud.
Congrats.
He was hot, totally worth it.
8:56 AM
Unknown Number
Um, hey?
This is Bellamy, btw
In case you hadn't guessed that already
10:17 AM
Unknown Number
Sorry about the double text, or quadruple text...now...ig...
Quintuple. It sucks you couldn't stick around this morning
2:22 PM
Unkown Number
Anyway, I wanted to know if you were available after work
I am aware you're at work right now and probably can't answer, so I'll just wait until you're off
Octuple. I apologize.
She saves him in her phone and texts him back to let him know she's free after she takes a shower and changes. He calls pretty quickly after that.
"Hey."
"Hey." They sit in silence for a minute or so before he speaks again, "So after that shower would you be interested in going out to dinner? With me?"
It's pretty adorable that he's all awkward about asking her out when she remembers the confidence from the first time she met him.
"That sounds really nice, honestly."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He tells her that he'll find a place and text her when he's going to pick her up.
Clarke would be lying to herself if she said she hadn't been this excited for a date in, probably, years.
She could already tell this was going to be something great.
