Disclaimer in previous chapters. Please see Author's Notes at the end.
NOTE: This is a CIM (Curse is Magical) chapter. CIM supposes a curse can restore beyond what is capable by the human body. Please note that CIM and CIP chapters shared some content. They simply moved in different directions.
-x-
Footsteps.
She tried very hard not to tense, almost laughing aloud when she found her hands were worrying the hem of her skirt. It was silly of her, silly when she had faced so many things more terrifying and dangerous without any of these nervous butterflies.
But maybe that wasn't true at all. She had waited for other demons, but those demons that were human always made her feel like this.
Those footsteps might as well have been Tyki Mikk's.
They hit the landing above, the path others had travelled before, but this time they crossed the landing on the main level and came down the stairs just above her head.
To the science level.
It wasn't just a demon she was waiting for, and Lenalee Lee bit her lip. She didn't want nii-san to catch her here. It didn't sound like his footsteps, they were not quick, goose-stepping, or dragging, his three usual moods when entering the labs. This was steady and gradually increased tempo, as if mass and gravity were dragging the person down the stairs.
Then they hit the landing and feet came into view. Work boots, scarred in some places by chemicals better left unexamined, and long tan working pants that were rolled at the hems. A white labcoat trailed as the feet came down the last set of stairs, then some folders. Then some hair.
Reever.
She was standing in the corner of her landing, in case she had to escape up the stairs from a nii-san below, and he didn't notice her until he was actually on the landing with her. His eyes widened and a smile started across his worn face, but its growth halted when he looked to her hands, and found them empty.
No coffee. Lavi had told her they missed her, and she knew they were often too busy to get the stuff themselves. It made her feel guilty. She did not mean to punish the others, but she could not bear to deliver coffee to everyone but him.
She couldn't even bear to look at him. Still.
Still, though, he deserved at least a smile. "Good morning." Her voice sounded weak and utterly unimpressive in the hallways, so she steeled it and said something else, to make the echo of it go away. That voice would have no power over her demon. "Did you get any sleep last night?"
It was a stupid question; she could see he hadn't, and why not. His supervisor was leaving in the morning, there was too much to do. Reever's smile turned a little pained, and she looked away.
"Not much," came his voice, almost bracingly. "I . . . if you're waiting for him, he's already downstairs."
Of course he was. It was almost eight in the morning. "I know."
She heard a brief sigh, but Reever made no move to touch her, or to walk by her. "He misses you, Lenalee. We all do."
She nodded, stiltedly, but she could not promise him that tomorrow it would be different. Tomorrow was not a certain thing. "I'm sorry that I haven't seen you lately." But what else could she say? "Please don't tell brother that I'm here."
"I won't," he responded immediately, and then a calloused hand ruffled her hair. She blinked up at him, surprised to see a genuine smile on his face. "I should tell you, though, someone you probably don't want to see is right behind me." His eyes darkened a little, and then the hand was gone and he was readjusting the folders he'd been carrying. "Whatever you're up to, good luck." And then he strode past her, and continued down the stairs.
She couldn't call after him; too risky, and what else could she say? Did he know what she was planning to do?
Had he been counting on it?
That thought infuriated her, for some reason. If nii-san was down there right now waiting for her to do this, she was never going to forgive him.
But Reever hadn't been wrong. It wasn't long at all before there were more footsteps on the landing above her. Quite a few.
But then again, her demon rarely went anywhere unaccompanied these days. The headquarters weren't safe, anymore. She was a little surprised that no one was requiring them to sleep in pairs, since the science department wasn't finished making their sensors yet. These footsteps were mixed, so it was hard to tell what kind of people they belonged to. If it had just been him, she would have known it instantly. His footsteps had been driven permanently on her soul. How many times had she lay there, listening, willing him to walk past her door.?
But not this time.
The feet descended the stairs above her, two sets of them in almost perfect unison, and she swallowed, reminding herself that this wasn't a battle even if it felt like it should be. Her Innocence was pulsing at her ankles, it ached to respond to her anxiety.
Not yet, she thought. Please wait.
It couldn't come to that. She couldn't let it come to that. She had to be calm and resolved. Doing this protected her friends. Protected the Exorcists and the Finders and Jerry and Johnny and Allen and Lavi and Kanda. For her friends, she could do this.
So she kept her expression firm, she kept her eyes fixed resolutely on the landing as the footsteps reached it. For a second she thought perhaps the demon wasn't ready, but then the shoes came into view. Leather, impeccable, French. The pants were a very fine linen, ironed and perfectly hemmed. They stepped softly onto the first stair, always softly, like he weighted nothing, like it just looked as if he was walking. The footsteps of his guard were nearly the same.
And for the first time in her life, Lenalee wondered what Malcolm C. Leverrier had done before he was put in his current position. Being a Leverrier gave him such position, but was it possible he had been like Inspector Link . . .?
The thought made something click in her mind, and this time her Innocence pushed against her anklebones a bit more forcefully.
Maybe he really was as dangerous as a demon. She'd never had the opportunity to push him far enough to see.
But there was no time to remember. He was suddenly there, and of course he was not distracted like Reever had been. He noticed her instantly, and gave her an oily smile.
"Good morning, Miss Lenalee." He did not slow in the slightest as he reached the landing, so she took a step in his direction. Her slippers hardly made a sound.
But that was because she was light. Activated or no, the Boots were responding to her and this was really the first time she had asked them to wait, when her Innocence could tell she felt threatened.
He's not worth it. "You're going to see brother." It wasn't a question, she knew exactly what he was going to the science department to do. There was no reason nii-san would be packing boxes instead of sobbing outside her door in the night. For the past two days he had not once used a golem to beg her for coffee or tried to latch onto her in the cafeteria. If Jerry had not been taking food to him he probably would not have eaten at all.
Not that she knew that for sure, that was what Lavi had said, but then again Lavi had been trying to tell her about this for twice that time and she had not been listening.
Leverrier tilted his head, but he stopped, and the two men behind him remained on the stairs, giving them the illusion of privacy. "Yes. Would you like some time to speak with him before we leave?"
"No." She softened her voice a little when she heard how harsh it was; she didn't want to argue. She wanted this conversation to be over as quickly as possible and she knew very well who would win if this became an argument of words. "Brother and I will have time to talk during the journey."
He caught her meaning immediately, and the head tilt straightened. "I respect your desires to see him safely to his destination, Miss Lenalee, but your duties here as an Exorcist do not permit such an excursion." He gave her a bracing smile. "He will be traveling by Gate. There is no need for alarm."
She knew from past experience that he hadn't misinterpreted her; he was giving her an out, a way to escape the comment and back down gracefully. "Oh," she heard herself say, because of course that was the way she always responded. She always took the escape path. "My apologies."
And he accepted it, as he always did, almost beaming at her with that belief that his approval meant anything. "Think nothing of it."
But she wasn't finished. "I was not clear enough." Her eyes had drifted to the floor, maybe out of habit, and she forced herself to look up once more. He would take it as a challenge but she could not convey her intentions without it. "My home is wherever brother is. I will be leaving with him this morning."
Leverrier arched an eyebrow at her. "Indeed?" It was amused. "And what of your responsibilities here?"
The first of a round of questions that she had expected. "I will continue to fight from wherever you send him."
"You will continue to fight where the head supervisor orders you," he corrected her silkily. "You are an Exorcist, Miss Lenalee, and it is the Order that determines when and where you can be of most help."
"You don't decide that." Not by himself, anyway. Still, the echo came back horribly unsure.
"Then perhaps we shall ask the current Head Supervisor where he prefers to place you," Leverrier murmured, as if in compromise. Lenalee found it hard to contain her surprise. Had he already demoted nii-san? Was it too late? Or had her brother not actually given up his post yet . . ?
"He . . . he hasn't . . . ?"
"The next shall also require you to remain here." Leverrier pretended he hadn't heard the question. "You are very dear to the Order, Lenalee, and it is in your best interest to remain at headquarters with the other Exorcists."
Something else clicked in her mind, and Lenalee felt her lips thin. "Your estimation of my 'best interest' includes throwing me to Innocence and hoping I wouldn't Fall." The words were shocking; she could scarcely believe they were hers. "I am leaving with brother."
Leverrier's eyebrows shot up, clearly just as surprised as she was, and Lenalee wondered, a little wildly, if thinking at her Innocence now worked both ways. If it could think back at her. And just had.
"Perhaps this is a conversation best continued behind closed doors." It was an offer laced with something that told her refusing was not in her 'best interest.'
"This conversation is over." Her ankles ached so much she took a step towards him, and hardly noticed the guards descending to the landing. "Wherever you send brother, I am going too."
The inspector evaluated her, disappointment radiating from every part of him, and his voice was slightly cooler when he spoke again, more like she remembered. "You are an Exorcist, Lenalee. Your Innocence is now a part of your blood. You cannot return it to the Order without giving your life as well."
. . . because that was what she was threatening, wasn't it? That she would cease to be an Exorcist, cease to obey the Order? Would they prevent her from entering the American base because she was a civilian?
Her feet were warm with the heat from her Innocence, almost painfully warm. "I have no intentions of giving up the Dark Boots." That would violate their agreement. That would break her promises. She didn't need to remain with the Order to fight and she knew it. She didn't need to be here to protect them. "The Noah will come for me no matter where I am."
"Which is precisely why you should remain here-"
She longed to throw it in his face, that she endangered them, but she couldn't. They endangered themselves. Allen felt exactly the same way, as did the generals. Anyone who had attracted the Earl's attention especially endangered them. "And how will you keep me here?" It was the challenge she had told herself was going too far, and she chided the Boots mentally as her other foot came forward, bringing her a step closer to Leverrier to avoid being burned. "Do you really think I'm so frightened of you that you can tie me to a bed again?"
It was again a case of her mouth speaking words that were true, that were in her heart, and that were never meant to leave it. Her Innocence hummed, and she looked down at her legs despite herself, half angry and half guilty at crossing that line.
What if it was fanciful, that the Innocence was doing any of this? What if it was all her? Not that it mattered; that taboo subject was breached, and like any other point of no return in a battle, there was nothing to do but continue. It could not be taken back.
"Do you think the drugs will still work, now that the Innocence is my blood?" She didn't look up, though; his expression would distract her. "Do you think it's in the Order's best interest to lock me away, unable to fight? Perhaps you should send a letter to the Noah, as they have to you, and tell them exactly where to collect me."
Leverrier said nothing, and she could only bear the silence a few seconds, looking up at the barest whisper of motion. There was a flicking wrist, the inspector on the right, and she found herself up in the furthest, highest corner of the landing before she even thought it. It had only taken two kicks; the guards had been blown five steps high and were on their backs, their eyes wide. The wind had brushed Leverrier's hair askew but otherwise he was still on his feet, untouched.
And that was the other line she should not have crossed. Attacking them with Innocence. The same line that Kanda had crossed. She wasn't even sure what the inspector had been reaching for.
The Boots, at least, had stopped pressuring her, and now kept her aloft, several feet above him. Her voice was trembling when it echoed back to her. "He stays, or I leave."
"I see that you do not trust me." Leverrier's voice could have frozen ice. "Since you think me capable of so much, have you not considered the consequences of your actions?"
Behind him, the inspectors had already regained their feet, unhurt, and it was hard for her to hide her relief. Leverrier made it easier.
"If I am such a monster as all that, it seems I should mention the increased chance of Komui having a fatal accident if you should threaten to leave."
This time she was certain it was the Boots, they wanted to brush this thing threatening her away, make it leave her sight. She could, too, she could pin him to that wall until it gave, and he fell into the catacombs with the rest of the stone.
But he was no Noah. He was not a demon as much as he was her demon. "If you were to have him killed, I would leave."
The inspector spread his hands. "You're going to leave anyway. What has the Order to lose?"
"The best supervisor it's ever had." Her voice was still shaking. "Brother is the smartest scientist here." But that wasn't the way to argue with someone like Leverrier. "What would you have to gain?"
"And do you think that I would do that, Lenalee Lee?" His voice was no warmer.
She was losing and she knew it. Somehow she'd let him gain control of this conversation and she'd never meant to. "Yes. I do."
Oddly, this made him smile. The smile widened into a light chuckle. "I see. Well, my little Lenalee, this has been enlightening."
And then he stepped towards her.
She did not give ground; she refused, but it didn't matter. He crossed the landing and turned down the stairs, showing his back to her. The guards gave her a little more respect, clearly watching her, and she rotated in air, staring down at him.
He was going down there anyway.
He was ignoring her.
"He stays," she repeated, as firmly as possible. Leverrier did not even acknowledge her, and then he was at the next landing, and out of sight.
The Boots hummed again, but there was nothing to attack. The threat was still there, pressing heavily on her heart, but she could not fight it.
She had let him win. Again.
Lenalee knew it was a waste, knew that it would alarm people who had seen Exorcists attack Exorcists. She didn't care. She ran, through the air instead of the stone, because that was what she did when she fought him. The place she had once run to was far away in England, and her brother was not an option. But there was another place, a high alcove near the top of the building, that she had found and it was there the Boots took her. She passed people, heard voices, but they were blurry and indistinct and she knew she was crying. It didn't matter. There was an open door and a dark, surprised figure in it and she passed so closely she could feel the heat of that body on her thighs but she didn't hit him, and then she was outside.
Flight was something she took for granted, something that was new every time. The wind cooled her cheeks and brushed the tears from her face, and the freedom made her feel like she could breathe again. The alcove was where she remembered it, above the main entrance, and it must have been her tears or her heart because it looked like there was a dark shape there in the middle of it.
Kanda.
She stumbled as she tried to land because the Boots felt her desire to approach him and they had been touchy, she had been touchy, and she collided with him, bowling him onto his back. His chest was hard and warm beneath her cheek but she didn't care, didn't care that it had been so long since she could remember actually touching him like this. She clung to his shirt and tried very hard to stop crying.
A pair of arms settled on her shoulders, trying to pry her off, and instead they squeezed out the sob she was trying to hold in. The arms hesitated, light on her back, and she moved her face only just enough to speak.
"I'm s-sorry, I-"
His voice rumbled beneath her right ear, reverberating in his chest. "Shut up."
He might as well have said 'It's okay,' and maybe that was what he meant, because he didn't move, and he let her lay there, crying into his shirt. It was the white cotton he normally wore under his uniform, smelling slightly of sweat and the soap that Kanda used, and his ribs were pronounced against her cheek. It reminded her of exactly what condition he was in, and how selfish she was, when he should be the one crying on her, and she pushed herself away, embarrassed.
He let her, and she tried not to be disappointed, sitting back on her legs and covering her face. She heard him sigh, and a rustle of his shoes on the stone as he sat back up himself.
"I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to interrupt-"
"Che."
It sounded so disbelieving that she bristled, moving her hands before she'd even thought about it. "It's true!" she protested. "I didn't know that you knew about this place, and . . ." She let it trail off. She hadn't even known he was allowed to be up here. A quick glance didn't reveal his guards, either, and when she turned back to him his expression was droll.
Just for a second. Then it was annoyed again. "Who wouldn't know about it? It's the only place to get any quiet around here."
She paused, swallowing, and realized this was the first time she had spoken to him since he had been attacked by the Noah, and attacked Link. It was nearly the first time she had looked at him. And though his face was thinner, and his short hair made it look even more so, he was Kanda again. Annoyed, aloof, calm and present.
He was himself. The changes in him, the sadness, it was gone as if it had never been.
He sensed her scrutiny and looked directly at her, eyes a very dark brown and piercing. "What do you want?"
And that just made her want to cry all over again.
Instead she looked at her lap, and laughed a little to make the sob go away. "Nothing. I didn't know you'd be up here, remember?"
"Tch," was his response, and he rearranged his legs into lotus position, closing his eyes with the air of someone who was expecting to be interrupted.
She held her tongue for all of maybe fifteen seconds. "I . . . thank you."
The skin between his eyes bunched, just a little, but otherwise he said nothing.
Lenalee watched him a moment, almost shyly, and then decided that maybe this was actually his way of telling her that meditation would help. And it would, if the Boots were any indication. She moved hesitantly beside him, but he never twitched, and she suddenly missed his hair. It used to move around his face so he didn't look so statue-like when he ignored her.
She closed her eyes, trying to feel all the air around her, and the stone grounding her, and then something happened that had never happened before.
"You talk to your idiot brother yet?"
She almost gasped, she was so startled, and when she opened her eyes and looked at him, he had not moved at all.
Of course. He was wondering why she was so upset. "No," she answered, very quietly. Kanda would be disappointed. "But I will."
Kanda said nothing.
Lenalee hesitated. "I was really angry with him, for not telling me where you had gone, or that he had gotten messages about you . . ." Or worse. "But . . . last night I realized something. I'm not being fair to him."
She closed her eyes, centering her head on her neck again, trying to find the right position. It had taken awhile, and in the end Lavi and Allen had helped, but she had started to figure it out. She was angry with Komui for obeying the Order, for leaving Kanda there when he knew what had to be happening. She was angry because Kanda was like her other brother. Komui shouldn't have left Kanda there one minute longer than he would have left her.
Yet when they got Kanda back, nii-san risked everything to keep him there. And that was a battle that he could fight. That he was suited to fight, far more than he was suited to take an Exorcist away from a Noah. Even if winning meant that he himself lost.
Because that was what he had risked, to stand by Kanda when the Order doubted. He had risked his position in the Order, and what that really meant was that he had risked her. He was leaving, going to America, when he had promised that he would never leave her alone again. And why would he do that, unless Kanda meant as much to him as the stubborn teen meant to her?
Kanda didn't say anything, or inquire again, and there was a long stretch of silence between them. In fact, she was startled when she felt wind in her hair, and she wasn't exactly sure when she had last felt it. It was cold, jolting to her, and her eyes opened with a start.
The sun was quite a bit higher in the sky, and Kanda was standing beside her, staring forward as well.
She didn't remember hearing him stand. "I . . . did I . . .?"
Even from below him she could see the turn of his lips. That almost smile. "You fell asleep."
" . . . oh." It was oddly disappointing. But she felt a lot calmer than before. Even if it wasn't true meditation-
The odd smirk was still on his face, and she wondered at it.
Kanda walked away from where she was sitting until he was standing beside the low railing between the alcove and nothing, and he put a foot there, leaning his arms on his raised knee. He didn't say anything.
Was he waiting for her? Curious, she got to her feet, surprised that her legs were not asleep. Her feet were still warm; the Boots felt almost content and her slippers were soft as she joined him. He was staring down at the main entrance, where the guard was changing. A shape with a fluffy head of brown and slightly graying hair was speaking with them, and it was that figure that held Kanda's attention.
Lenalee folded her hands behind her back. "Have you talked to him?"
Kanda said nothing, just staring.
"I guess you're angry with him, aren't you." Kanda was unique in his view of the world, and he was probably furious that the general had taken the risk to find him. "But you shouldn't be, any more than I should be angry with nii-san."
Kanda grunted.
And suddenly her gut was filled with ice.
It was afternoon.
Nii-san might have already left.
She leapt over the railing before she'd even activated the Boots, and she heard a startled curse from Kanda, but it barely registered. The main doors were open, since the guard was changing, and someone called to her as she flew past into the lobby. The Gate was there, glowing softly as it always did, and there was no one near it. No send-off party.
She was too late.
Lenalee stopped, hovering uncertainly there in the main lobby, staring around her at the equally surprised faces. All of her friends, but none of them close enough to ask if he had really left her.
He wouldn't have, not without a word. He would have used golems to find her, he would have left her a note-
"Lenalee."
She sank to the floor, letting the Boots deactivate, and allowed General Tiedoll to approach.
"Are you all right? What's wrong?"
She shook her head; what could she say to the man that was so worried about the one he thought of as his son? And so angry with nii-san? "I . . . did anyone leave through the Gate, recently?"
Strangely, the general's eyes hardened, but the hand on her shoulder was soft. "Not to my knowledge."
But . . . but that didn't mean anything, it just meant the general didn't know-
"I believe the contingent from Central was scheduled to leave, but I saw several of them in the mess not twenty minutes ago." He gave her shoulder a little squeeze, and she managed a nod at him. "On the same subject, have you seen Yuu-kun recently?"
Her smile grew, just a little, but the lump was still in her stomach. "Yes. I told him to go find you."
Some of the hardness left the general's eyes, and abruptly he had pulled her into his arms, sobbing onto her shoulder. She froze, totally startled. He had not done that since she was very, very small.
"Oh, did you? Thank you, Lenalee, I woke up and he was gone and I was so worried, if only he'll listen to you and come talk to his poor worried father-"
"Let go of her, dirty old pervert," an annoyed voice snapped, and both of them looked up – one tearfully – to see Kanda standing in the lobby doorway, Mugen in his hand and sheathed. He was glaring off to the side, which he did when he was supremely irritated.
Her sudden flight must have worried him more than she'd thought.
"Oh, is Kanda-kun speaking to me? Will you come say good morning to your father?"
"Che," he declared, and with a twitch of his head – that used to send his ponytail flying disdainfully behind him – he began to stalk off in the direction of his quarters. Two men, dressed in basic staff uniforms, came hurrying in from outside, and after glancing around they spotted him and began to follow.
So he still had guards after all. And they'd been watching.
"That was more than I've heard him say in quite a while," Tiedoll murmured, the tears gone as if they had never been. "That must have been quite the conversation you had."
She watched Kanda leave and did not miss that everyone else in the lobby was, as well. Two Finders scuttled out of the way as he approached them, and with another irritated motion Mugen swept into the air, settling into the loops built into the back of Kanda's coat. The Finders had flinched against the wall with soft cries of fear, but Kanda ignored them utterly.
"Thank you for spending time with him," the general continued in an undertone. "As far as I know, Supervisor Komui is still here." Then the general gave her an extra little squeeze and started across the lobby, leaving her standing there near the Gate, wondering what exactly to do now.
-x-
Author's Notes: Well, all that took so long I couldn't get anything else into this chapter. Sorry about that! I just liked the continuation in Lenalee's perspective, and several of you had asked to see more of her, so it seemed doubly win to listen to my reviewers and show why she ended up forgiving her brother. Sort of. ; )
Speaking of which, I noticed the number of people who have favorited this. Wow! I'm really flattered! I also noticed that almost all of you guys have never reviewed. I was sort of wondering why? Nothing constructive to say, or you just like to lurk? (I understand that getting an answer would require you to leave a review, which you don't seem to want to do, but honestly, I'm curious. Who knows, maybe your comments can make the fic better!)
