Author's Note: Hiya, guys! (: How's everyone doing? Recovering from laughing at the new SPN episode?
Time for today's WALL OF FAME! A huge thanks to these great human beings: xBeautifullyxxShatteredx, more-profound-bond (aw, I'm sorry to here that :/), FreeSpirit18 (no one of great importance is showing up, sorry, and I think there's... eleven more chapters after this one), kat4543 (why not?), missiontothestars (oh no, everyone's asking that! I hope I haven't let you all down...), ZiveraWolf, CanadaLover008764, becca65d, tii-chan17 (excuse you, Sam is not stupid. He is emotionally scarred, thank you very much. :P), Toki Asamia (*cough ICEBERG cough*), Gustin azza, Casismyfavourite, Shahara Dagon (work crying is totally the new thing!) and WingsStarsAndSky (Thanks! *coughs awkwardly again*). Gaaah, thanks guys for sticking with this fic, even though they already got together. You're all fab. :P
Um, sorry in advance for the ending of this chapter. Some of you might be angry at me. Sorry. But, uh, tip. Iceberg.
See you all on Tuesday! (:
~Rainbow Fruit Loop xx
~Praying for Redemption~
Chapter Twenty Eight.
"I think it would be good for Sam to get out of the house for a while, you know?" Dean commented one afternoon, a week or so after Sam's accident. "It'd be good for him to get away from here, away from Lawrence. Away from Kansas, even."
The very man of Dean's concerns was currently curled up in a small, exhausted ball on the sofa, his knees drawn to his chest in a way that made him look ten years old again. He was fast asleep; drained of any energy, despite the fact that it was just after lunchtime.
He had taken the almost-fatal alcohol poisoning badly, and Cas didn't like the way he had become so quiet and withdrawn - how he had lost the irresistible charm that had made so many people smile. He had only just been getting better, but now he was an unstable emotional wreck again. Cas didn't like it.
"I think that would be good, yes." Cas agreed, turning his attention to Dean, who also had weary, inky black shadows smudged underneath his eyes. Sam's accident had taken a lot out of Dean too - he was stressed now, and easily irritable. Cas didn't like that either. "What do you suggest?"
Idly, Dean rubbed his thumb across his forehead, scratching at the space between his eyebrows. "Well, if I can convince Ash down at the garage to work overtime for a few months, then… I don't know. Sam and I could go on a road trip across America."
Cas immediately noticed the lack of his presence in the suggestion, and he tried desperately to refrain from commenting on it. Already, the thought of being alone for what could, potentially, be a few months had Cas inwardly panicking, but he shoved his qualms aside, because this was for Sam.
"I think that's a good idea." Cas said, trying to keep his voice steady. "It'd be nice for both of you to get out for a bit of brotherly bonding. We need to keep Sam's mind off things."
Dean smiled, and reached out across the short space between them to brush a few strands of hair out of Cas's eyes - his fingers rough against the soft skin of his forehead. He then trailed his fingers down Cas's face, his neck, before absentmindedly resting on the skin above his heart.
"It would mean leaving you here, though. And I don't… I don't want to do that. Not now that we've only just…" Dean coughed awkwardly. "But I just think it would be better if it was just me and Sam."
Cas nodded his head in agreement, though he desperately wanted Dean to stay with him. They had only been together for little over a month, and their relationship - the kissing, the cuddling, the undeniably amazing sex - was still so brand new to Cas. The thought of not seeing Dean for weeks upon weeks made his heart thud painfully against his chest - and not in a good way.
"We need to do what's best for Sam." Cas whispered, taking a small step closer to Dean. He needed to savour quiet moments like this, because he wasn't sure when they would happen again. Carefully, he pressed a kiss to Dean's throat; his lips lingering over the spot where he could feel his pulse. "We can't let our own feelings get in the way of making him better. We have all the time in the world afterwards."
Things had been set in motion pretty quickly after Cas and Dean's conversation, and all too soon, Cas found himself standing in the threshold of their apartment, his goodbyes stuck in his throat. It hadn't taken any time at all to convince Ash at the garage to work overtime - he knew Sam too, and he said that he wanted to help in any way he could.
Despite himself, Cas had been a little disappointed when he had realised that Dean and Sam would be leaving so soon. He knew that going on the road trip would make Sam better, and that was something he wanted more than almost anything in the world, but he wasn't sure how he would cope being alone again.
"Thank you, Cas, for everything." Sam was saying, and Cas wasn't sure what the grateful words were for. For keeping Dean company while he was away at Stanford? For keeping Dean calm while they waited in the hospital? For simply being a good friend? Whatever it was, whatever he had done, Cas didn't think it had been nearly enough.
"It's okay, Sam." Cas's voice was rougher than it usually was, and he hoped Dean wouldn't notice. "I'm glad that I helped in some way. And I hope you have fun on your trip."
"I'm sure I will." Sam smiled at him, and then looked down at the two small backpacks at his feet. "I'll, uh, I'll just take these down to the Impala." he said, nodding towards the bags. "I'll see you in a minute, Dean."
He smiled again, yet this time it was slightly sympathetic. Cas wondered how obvious the emotions on his face were - and which one was most dominant. Loneliness? Sadness? Regretful desire?
With one last smile, Sam walked off down the corridor, turning back to wave at Cas when he reached the corner. When he was out of earshot, Dean turned to him, his eyes bright with a sentiment Cas didn't recognise.
"I suppose this is it for a bit then, hey?" His voice was soft and full of emotion, and Cas knew then that Dean was going to miss him a lot too. "It's kind of funny, because I feel like we're saying goodbye like we're never going to see each other again. But I'll be back here, with you, in no time."
Cas nodded - pleased that Dean had acknowledged the feeling that seemed to be hanging heavy in the air. He didn't know why it felt so wrong saying goodbye to Dean. It just felt like this was the end of something big, and he didn't understand it. Nothing was going to change, was it?
"I know you will." Cas murmured. "It will hardly seem like you've gone. And you'll have a lot of fun with Sam, so don't worry. You won't have time to miss me at all."
Dean chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure I'll miss you plenty, Cas. And you'll be fine here, on your own, won't you?"
Cas nodded, though he wasn't really too sure. This would be the first time since he'd moved in with Dean that the two had been apart, and he didn't know how he'd cope without someone to hold him.
"I'll call you as often as I can." Dean promised, before leaning down to gently capture Cas's lips between his own. After a few seconds of quiet, bittersweet kissing, Dean pulled away, his eyes bright. "And just think," he murmured, pressing another kiss to Cas's lips, "how good it'll feel when we see each other again."
"I love you, Dean." Cas whispered, feeling more sure of his feelings in that single second than he ever had before. It needed to be expressed, this emotion, and Cas couldn't think of a better time to say it. "I love you so much."
Dean chuckled, his face breaking out into a gorgeous grin. "I know, Cas, I know." And then he pressed a firm kiss that spoke of it's time to go to Cas's lips, and then held him at arms length. "I'll see you soon."
And as he walked off, a cheery smile on his beautiful face, Cas tried not to focus on the fact that he hadn't said it back.
