Author's note: Sorry about the short chapter, dear readers. Finals are taking up a lot of my time as of late. Oh but do not despair, I will soon return to finish this mangled epic soon enough.
Never smile at a crocodile
No, you can't get friendly with a crocodile
Don't be taken in by his welcome grin
He's imagining how well you'd fit within his skin
(deleted song from Peter Pan)
Shit. You'd think this would be a good situation to be in wouldn't you, dear reader?
Okay so I wasn't exactly complaining. Quite the opposite.
But imagine yourself in my shoes for a second (they're quite large, sorry about that). Yes, you're finally getting intimate with the object of your lustful affection for actually several months now, despite what you have tried to tell yourself. Even though it's really….kinky, to be sucking on someone's foot and even more so because of how much you enjoy having your feet treated as such, it's really nice. But wait, there's trouble here! I know, I know, you're thinking "what could possibly be the problem now? Do I have the clap? Are vamps susceptible to STD'S? Is there another man?!" But you are asking the wrong question, I'm afraid. The thing is this – the man currently pressing his divine, cool lips to your skin and hovering close to you like your own shadow, lithe as a panther – is a vampire. We have already established this, but let's recap what this really means:
1. What do vampires eat? Blood! Flesh!
2. The vamp currently above thee is – basically the undead version of Richard III, but three times as manipulative.
3. He is C-R-A-Z-Y – and not as in "haha, I'm wearing orange nail polish" crazy – he's like that schizophrenic aunt you have, only without her meds - ever seen that film with eddie murphy where he plays 30 different family members that hit each other? Well…this is sorta like that.
So how do we feel? CONFLICTED.
Its like when you have too much cheesecake, its so good but then you stop to remember that this will give you diarrhea later on.
Bad Analogy…
Yeah, for once I agree with myself.
"Aro…."I moaned, as if that would stop him.
"You think too loud." He muttered in his low, baritone voice. Then he licked a path up to my knee. Wow, that mouth of his must be sucking out my brains because the only response I can think of is-
"Whuh?"
But I took a deep breath, and then closed my eyes and drew myself up on the couch, trying to will my heart to stop pounding and my "happy place" to stop twitching. God, it did not help to look him in the eye right now – the look in his eyes…it was like looking into an inferno, and he wanted me right in the center of it . Yowza! To speak clearly, he wanted to ravish me – and I had a feeling that he had every intention of keeping it up (hah) well into the night. I shivered and looked away.
"Aro…uhm, not that I'm not enjoying whatever you're doing - because...wow - but I think that pebble is long gone." he tilted his head at me, at once beckoning and too innocent. My ladybits twitched at the sight, goddamn them.
"Are you…sure?"
I opened my mouth to answer him, yes or no…but the doorbell rang.
"FUCKING MAKRILLS ON A STICK!" I cursed, a second later realizing that I wasn't the only one cursing our interruption. A pillow from the couch was suddenly in little pieces, feathers raining down to the floor. Aro was staring at the door as if he had laser eyes. I coughed politely and smoothed down my pant legs in a desperate attempt to make myself calm down and look presentable.
"I'll get it." I said , moving off the couch without looking too weak in the knees. I could feel his eyes still on me, and I did not dare turn around to see if that mad heat in them was still there. I wondered if he saw the same in mine.
I opened the door and lo and behold – a familiar blonde snark was on the other side. My god, my life was turning into one of those bizarre sitcoms where intimate situations are always interrupted by an unwanted third party. I almost expected to hear a laughing audience when Caius said nothing in greeting but a simple quirk of one eyebrow.
"What can I do for you sir? Do you have a package to deliver?" I asked, leaning against the door.
Caius simply stared me down from top to toe.
"So he hasn't compromised you." He commented, sounding surprised.
Well if you hadn't been here there might have been a different scenario, pal.
I coughed as if to clear my head and to get the flush of my face. It didn't help much.
"Ah." Aro sighed upon seeing who had arrived. it sounded like his grandmotherly self, but when I turned around it was obvious that he was still pissed. I wondered at first why he was still sitting down, then I noticed the pillow in his lap. It kind of struck me all of a sudden that vampires, despite lacking blood circulation and bodily fluids, have the same male anatomy functions and reactions.
Something about the situation – the ancient vampire trying to cover up his boner, me as the reason for said boner, and our sudden surly guest staring at us in the doorway made be burst out laughing. Caius stared at me like I was some sort of mutant. He shook his head.
"Mortals. I suppose that this is your doing, Aro."
Caius glided by me into the apartment like a figure ice skater on crack. If Aro's prime strength was intimidation, Caius was definitely speed.
"We have a situation." He said, all business now. Aro leaned forward on the couch, somehow managing to look regal despite the "situation" in his crotch. His eyes gleamed eagerly.
"Speak." He commanded.
"I've found Marcus. He's here."
I stopped laughing with a start.
Shit.
