She had to be the worst best friend there ever was. Sakura just informed both her and Ino that she was pregnant and where was Hinata now? Instead of being out with her friends she was in her bathroom next to the toilet crying and she even threw up. The after taste of the throw-up wasn't quite as disgusting as the bitterness she felt for being like this. Her friend just found out the most exciting news in the world yet she couldn't really be happy for her…not really.
She was thankful for the timing. Sakura told her yesterday and two days before that Sasuke had left for a one week mission. She had a few days to pull herself together before her husband came home. The thought of Sasuke made her sob again. She threw up everything in her system until only bile came out. She knew she had to eat something or that would end up hurting her more. She tried to eat the leftover pasta but not long after she was back in the bathroom throwing up again. Her cheeks were try because there were no more tears she could possibly weep. Since she got home yesterday she was crying nonstop. Somewhere along the way she fell asleep but was woken up by the sound of footsteps into the kitchen. She washed her face and exited the bathroom. The clock on the hallway told her it was 4 a.m.
"Hinata? Why are you awake?"
Sasuke said while turning to look her and he stopped, she saw the dark circles, the shaky hands, the messy hair the sad eyes. He walked towards her and hugged her. Hinata was certain she couldn't cry anymore, but for some reasons the moment her head was on his chest tears started to fall down her cheeks.
"What happened, love?"
His voice was full of kindness and he smelt of iron, she hadn't even noticed he was bleeding and covered in dirt. She got up without another word and brought back bandages. He extended his arm, Sasuke knew better than to fight her, he learnt after some time that he would never win. Her hands were working the same routine, cleaning up the bruises and cuts, putting on ointment than bandaging up everything. She bit her lip but started talking softly.
"I talked to Sakura yesterday…she's pregnant."
He had to admit thinking about a small human being with his black eyes yet her navy blue hair and pale skin crawling around the house, crying in the middle of the night and years later rolling her or his eyes at them after they told her or him that something wasn't allowed, made his heart hurt and hearing the words out of his wife's mouth was a low blow.
"I could only smile and nod at her before running away. I've been crying all day since."
He saw her image bent over the toilet spilling her guts inside it, crying her eyes out, every bone in her body breaking from the pain, her throat clenching around the already digested food in an attempt to push it back, yet not succeeding. Hinata's arms wrapped around him, he hadn't realized he started crying as well, for himself, for his beautiful wife that was breaking in front of him and all he could do was fall apart as well. He took her hand and kissed her forehead. She stood on his lap and hugged him. The memories of the first time Hinata was pregnant filled both of their minds, the happiness she radiated and the tears of joy he spilled upon finding out the news only for all of their dreams to be crushed a few weeks later when the pregnancy ended with a miscarriage. The same happened the next time and then the next and the next. Each time they allowed the happiness back in thinking 'this time for sure!' only to be shot down again. After they 4th one Tsunade insisted on further examination only to find out Hinata would never be able to have children, no matter how many times she'd get pregnant the baby would never survive the first few months. Not one of their friends knew, they asked Tsunade not to tell. Hinata apologized a thousand times which broke his heart a thousand times. She kept talking about the Uchiha clan disappearing but all he could think about was that Hinata would never be a mother. Not one person in that world was more fit to be a mother than her, and she would never be one.
The following day Sasuke got Hinata out of the house, they were walking around the city hand in hand, both of them still in deep sadness. They didn't mean to act that way but when Sakura called their names they both had the instinct to flee but stood to talk to her. She invited them to walk with her and they found themselves in front of the hospital not long after.
"Sorry for that, I just wanted some company for my doctor's appointment. Can you come with?"
She reminded him of Hinata the first time she was pregnant about 2 years ago. Happiness was around her in waves, Hinata was the one to agree. Upon seeing them with Sakura Tsunade gave them a sad smile and Hinata's eyes watered. They waited outside the office for Sakura, after about 30 minutes the pink-haired woman finally emerged from the room followed by the blonde medic. They were talking about tests. Neither Sasuke nor Hinata paid attention.
"—before it's too late Sasuke" Sakura said and laughed, that brought the Uchiha couple back to reality. Sasuke said 'sorry what?' but as Sakura started talking Tsunade cut her off. With an awkward laugh and an 'anyway' "What I said was that—" Sakura seemed to insist to get her joke across.
"Sakura don't. Really"
"Come on Tsunade, Hinata deserves to be a mother, he should at least try to help her out"
The air seemed to stay still, all that was heard was Hinata's sob. Sasuke looked to her and hugged her tight whispering a 'shh' into her ear, but not seeming all that convincing since he was shaking as well. The pink haired woman was staring in horror at them while the blonde medic gently pushed them back inside the office. The moment the door closed Hinata started crying louder and Tsunade brought a basin next to her.
"W-what's happening?"
Sakura asked while taking a step closer to her friend. Hinata looked up at her.
"Sakura..I'm so sorry. This is supposed to be the best time of your life and I can't even congratulate you properly"
Tsunade didn't even offer her a time to answer before asking if she should examine Hinata.
"She's been crying a lot. Not eating much and throwing everything up."
The blonde nodded and helped the blue haired girl to the chair. Sasuke wanted to go over and hold her hand but he was still shaking.
"What happened Sasuke?"
His friend, sister, asked. He tried to smile at her, really did.
"Hinata and I…we can't" it took everything he had to say that. "We tried 6 times she did and 6 time she lost it. We're too scared to try again." He was crying too. Sakura held his hand tight and whispered an apology but he was focused on his wife that was way too thin, way too pale and way too sad. He promised to give her happily ever after, what could he do?
