Chapter Twenty-Eight:

In Which Our Hero's Insomnia Asserts Itself

"You were in there for quite a while, Shepard," Chakwas told him disapprovingly. "I told you she needed to rest."

"I promise she's resting now, Chakwas. I wouldn't have been so long if she hadn't told me that she'd figured out a way to decipher those beacon visions, I swear." Talking to Chakwas sometimes reminded him of talking to the principal from his grade school. He'd been in trouble more often than pleased his parents, and the Shepards had gotten to know the formidable old maid so well, she'd been Willa's godmother. Principal Godfrey had always looked at him with the same expression of amusement smothered beneath professional frustration that Dr. Chakwas sometimes displayed.

"Well, I hope it was worth it. If she gets sick though, I'll be blaming you, make no mistake about it. Now go away. I have work to do."

Shepard left the med bay smirking like the nine-year-old boy who'd been banished from class for torturing Clara Peterson with insects—again. It was a terrible character flaw that scoldings never made him feel contrite. Poor Clara. If younger Shepard, if Kiss had known what Clara's home life was like, he never would have tormented her like that.

He yawned, and wondered how long he'd been closeted with Liara. The trip to the Citadel should take about… Shepard wasn't very exact on the time. On an impulse born of sleep deprivation, he decided to head up to the bridge and ask Joker. At the very least, he owed the pilot a personal word of praise for his incredible response time extracting the ground team.

It wasn't surprising to see Alenko seated at the co-pilot's station on Joker's right. In fact, his convenient presence would make it easy for the commander to get the lieutenant's read on Liara before finally heading off to get some sleep. Shepard nodded a greeting to the lieutenant, and turned his attention to Joker. "That was some nice flying down there on Therum."

"I know, right?" Joker was cocky as ever. "I've been thinking about it, Commander, and as I've been telling dear Kaidan here—"

"For the past three hours," Alenko broke in.

"—I prefer gold to silver. You know, for my medal? I figured you'd recommend me for one since I pulled your ass out of the fire."

"Watch your mouth, Joker." Shepard shook his head and smiled slightly. "If you really want a medal, and of course I think you deserve one—"

"Of course!" Alenko's overly bright sarcasm earned him a glare from Joker.

"—then I'll recommend you. But take it from someone who knows, if they present you with a medal, you'll end up sitting on a stage listening to politicians make speeches for a couple of hours. Probably in the glaring sunlight. And definitely in full dress uniform."

"Good point." Joker's enthusiasm had dampened noticeably. "Bet they'd make me shave too, huh?" He stroked his beard protectively. "I spent the last seven weeks working on this baby. No medal's worth that."

Having talked Joker out of the medal, Shepard refrained from voicing his opinion on facial hair in general, and on the scruffy tangle blanketing Joker's face in particular. Be content with small victories, he told himself.

"So," he asked, sitting in the abandoned co-pilot's station on Joker's left, careful not to accidentally touch anything that might crash the ship, "Alenko, what's your opinion on the last mission?"

"You mean Dr. T'Soni?" The glance that Alenko and Joker shared made it clear that the two of them had already had an informal debrief session on this very topic. "She seems like a sweet girl. Easy on the eyes. I mean, if you like the bookish sort."

Shepard frowned. He had wanted Alenko's level-headed, professional read on the doctor, whether the lieutenant thought it was right to bring her aboard and trust her, not…. Alenko and Joker were exchanging smirks at his prolonged silence. The commander relaxed. They were teasing him, trying to get under his skin. He felt himself grin. If he hadn't been so tired, he probably would have stayed professional, but as it was…. Well, maybe Shepard just wanted to feel like one of the guys more than he would normally admit.

"Just remember, Lieutenant. I saw her first."

Alenko laughed. "Only by a few minutes, sir."

"I don't know if I was too subtle, but that was an order, Alenko."

"You know, neither one of you would even be able to argue this point if a certain dashing Flight Lieutenant hadn't heroically swooped down from the skies to rescue the commander's sorry self and the beautiful doctor—" Joker began.

"Ugh. Why don't I just come back after you boys have drawn straws?" Shepard recognized Williams' tone of voice from their encounter with Harkin at Chora's Den. Chagrined, he turned to meet the brunt of her disapproval. She stood in the entryway from the bridge, hand on her hip, eyebrows pinched in censure. There was no change in her expression when she met his gaze, leading him to realize she must have heard the entire exchange.

You really are acting like a nine-year-old today, aren't you? the sensible part of Shepard's mind chastised him. Of course they shouldn't have been arguing over who had 'dibs' on Liara, not even jokingly. Now a subordinate had overheard her commanding officers making inappropriate remarks about her fellow crewmember, and it was clear that she was irritated with all three men. Shepard snuck a glance at Alenko and Joker, thankful they both looked as guilty as he felt. When he turned back, Williams was stalking away down the deck.

He turned to Joker, who had his eyebrows raised. The pilot gave a nervous grin. "Well, that was…nice? Tell me, Commander, was it just wishful thinking on my part, or did Ash sound like she wanted in on our little bidding war?"

"Wishful thinking, you sick son of a—" Alenko broke off when Shepard stood.

"How long until we reach the Citadel, Joker?" he asked.

"Probably two days. Maybe less if we get lucky with relay traffic, sir."

"Really? Wow. I thought it'd take longer. Don't stress yourself trying to make that time," he ordered absently, glancing back at Williams who was now halfway across the CIC. "I'd better go talk to Williams." He squared his shoulders. "If I don't contact you within the hour, men, promise me you'll scatter my ashes in the middle of the Council Chambers. Preferably somewhere they'll stain."

"Aye-aye, sir."


Ashley ignored the friendly "Hey, Chief," tossed her way by Private Quincy, the poor grunt stuck on guard duty at the door leading from the CIC to the lower decks. She was furious with Kaidan, Joker, and Shepard, and furious with herself for being furious. How long had she been a marine? How long had she been alive? The doctor was an asari for crying out loud; most human men thought of asari as sex-based, not carbon-based lifeforms.

It shouldn't have surprised her that the three of them had been up there fetishizing T'Soni. It shouldn't have bothered her. It definitely shouldn't have bothered her this much.

You're jealous. They're marines. The doctor is 'exotic,' and all damsel-in-distressy, and not part of the crew. Of course they're going to notice her that way. As she always did when that scornful self-doubt reared its unwanted head, Ashley imagined putting a few shotgun rounds through her vulnerability. I am not jealous. I'm an officer on the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy. I couldn't care less what those idiots think of Dr. T'Soni. I don't need

"Ashley!" The commander's voice interrupted her internal argument. She stopped and saluted without thinking, eyes fixed on the wall behind Shepard. After a moment, the fact that he'd used her first name began to sink in and she scowled. He did not get to be friendly with her right now.

"Sorry, Chief Williams. You didn't seem to hear me when I called you before. Although I wouldn't blame you if you'd been ignoring me."

She met his gaze at that, eyes narrowing even further. Why would he think that she would deliberately ignore her commanding officer? Sure, she might speak without thinking sometimes, but she was a good soldier. She followed orders.

Shepard sighed and traced his fingers over the scar on his nose. He did that quite a bit when he was talking with her, Ashley had noticed. A nervous tic that meant he was trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. She frowned; she wasn't that prickly. Not all the time. And since when do you notice someone's tells outside of poker anyway, Williams?

"Look," Shepard said finally, "I don't know what you heard the three of us saying about Liara, but I'd guess from your reaction that you heard all of it. And you were right, we were inappropriate."

If only she could stop frowning at him, she might get out of this quickly and painlessly, but she couldn't. Why was he explaining himself?

Unaware of her confusion, Shepard continued to talk. "I'm sorry that you had to hear that. Like I said before, it was inappropriate. I didn't intend to," he shook his head and yawned. "I'm not trying to make excuses, Williams. You'd be fully justified in filing a complaint. I don't know why—I just wanted to get Lieutenant Alenko's read on the doctor, since her mother, you know, and—I need to get more sleep," he said finally.

Ashley didn't think that last statement was meant for her. Shepard certainly looked embarrassed. And he should. But she liked the commander; more than just her commanding officer, he was a good guy. It wasn't fair for her to be angry with him for not being quite as perfect as she'd come expect him to be. After all, he'd had Ashley's respect since he'd stepped between her gun and that smuggler on Eden Prime. His having a thing for their asari archeologist wasn't going to change that. She decided to ignore his apology then, and give him the tactical assessment Kaidan had clearly neglected to provide.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" He nodded warily. "For what it's worth, I'm not sure I buy Dr. T'Soni's story. About her and her mom not talking. I mean, they're family, right?"

To Ashley's utter surprise, the commander smiled that real, full, and bright smile she'd only seen him give once or twice before. The expression made him look unpleasantly attractive—she did not want to notice how good-looking Shepard was. Oblivious, he kept smiling. "It's odd, right?" he said. "I mean, I keep telling myself that not everyone's family is close. And, I do think I can trust her. It seems like she's being straight with us. Or at least…I don't think she lies very often."

Despite herself, Ashley laughed. "Yeah. She's probably really bad at it. At any rate, even if she does turn out to be a traitor, at least we've got her where we can keep an eye on her."

"I knew I could bring her aboard and not have to worry about her stabbing me in the back."

"Oh really? Why's that, Skipper? I thought biotics weren't really psychic."

He yawned, still smiling, and clapped her on the shoulder. "Nothing that exciting. I just know that I've got you here to watch my back, of course." Shepard yawned again. "Sorry, Williams, but I have got to get some sleep."

"Want me to go ask Dr. T'Soni if she'd mind keeping you company?" Oh my God, did I just say that out loud?

Shepard must have been exhausted, because his only reaction was to laugh. "You probably won't believe me, but she's not really my type."

"With all due respect, Skipper, I'm supposed to believe you're the only human male in the galaxy not attracted to asari? You're already a biotic, a hero, and a Spectre… just how remarkable do you think you need to be?" Why the hell was she still talking? He really needed to stop smiling at her so Ashley could go back to being a sexless marine.

"The doctor does have freckles, true, but I prefer blondes…" his smile hitched slightly higher on the left side of his face as he met Ashley's gaze unnecessarily squarely, "…usually." With that revelation, the commander let the smile fade away, nodded a goodbye, and set off for his cabin.


Author's Note: Sorry about the extra delay in getting things up and running again. Apparently, I'm not as efficient as I like to believe. To make it up to you, there'll be a bonus update sometime this week! As always, thanks for reading/bearing with me.