Hello, readers!
Almost there! One more chapter after this, and then it's the epilogue! Ugh, I can almost taste it. It'll be so good to finally be done editing this thing! Then I can finally start editing some other stuff and moving on with the last (maybe?) installment of the Noctivagant series.
This chapter has been updated as of 11/1/2017.
~ Crayola
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Run in Circles
The men in black didn't show up to my session with Ava right away, but neither of us missed them that much. I was a little worried that they wouldn't show at all; mostly because I was hoping that they'd have some news for me about the bugs.
Some info, pictures, a plane ticket—anything that would give me some insight. I only had a week to decide, and this was my last session: Ava and I only met twice a week.
"How did the service go yesterday?" Ava asked, taking full advantage of their absence.
I shrugged and said, "I mean, I guess it was fine. They didn't make me talk or anything."
"But?"
Talking with her wasn't so bad. It was kind of a relief because I didn't have anyone else to talk to about . . . anything, really. There was no way I'd be able to talk to her about Wolf showing up in my room and the decision I had to make, but I could talk to her about everything else. I'd been against it before, but it was nice to be able to vent.
"After the reception at the Stanley, we had to go to the park to see the memorial," I replied, fidgeting with my fingers.
She made a sympathetic sound with her tongue. "How was that?"
"Not great," I admitted with a sigh. "My brother sat with me, though, and they didn't make me stay longer. I felt like I was going to be attacked at any moment like there was something out there watching me the entire time."
Of course, there had been, but that was beside the point.
"Did having your brother there help?"
"Kind of."
"Well, don't be afraid to use your anxiety meds if you need them. It doesn't make you weak to do what you need to in order to manage your symptoms," Ava assured me.
Though I opened my mouth to respond, a knock on the door interrupted me. Ava glanced away from me and told the person on the other side they were free to enter. The two agents walked into the room with their usual items: folders galore.
"Sorry we're late, we had to make a stop," Agent Rawlins said, closing the door behind him once Agent Cooper was inside.
"That's fine, I was hoping you guys wouldn't show up at all," Ava shot back.
For once, I didn't agree.
Cooper glared at her but otherwise let the comment slide.
"We'll be out of your hair soon enough. We're just here to show Nichole what she was asking for," Rawlins said while handing me a manila folder with a few leaflets tucked away inside.
For a second, I wasn't sure if I should take it. He raised his eyebrows at me and gave the folder a wiggle so I accepted it and flipped the folder open. My hands started trembling as I picked up the three sheets of paper, scanning the images there with some reserve—especially considering the subject of the previous pictures. Unlike the photos from their previous interrogation, these were on regular printer paper, as if they'd printed them straight from an email attachment.
And they barely revealed anything.
No matter how long I stared at the out of focus images, they refused to share with me their secrets. I spread them out on my lap, trying to paint myself a picture. The only way I could keep my hands from trembling was to clasp my hands together while I studied.
"Is this it?" I asked incredulously.
Rawlins nodded. "They didn't clear us for anything more than those. Sorry."
"You should be glad you got even that much," said Cooper.
I shot him a sour look and picked up the center picture. Each of the three was dark, but I could barely make out sleek forms behind thick glass panes. I couldn't be sure, though, as it seemed as if they'd already had time to start building their hive and it obscured the window. I could barely make out snippets of lab equipment around the fringes of the pictures.
"This is secure?" I was dubious and set the sheet in my hand back in the pile.
Nodding, Rawlins moved closer and indicated to the fogged-up glass pane in the picture. "This is two feet of reinforced bullet-proof glass. There is only one door, and it'll only open with a code that only a handful of people know. There's no other means to get in and out of that cage unless they can somehow get through the ventilation slits here, which we can seal remotely in case of emergencies."
Everything he said sounded well and good, but I remained unconvinced. "What happens if they do get out somehow?"
"Impossible," Cooper scoffed. I wondered if he was always a dick or if it was only a shtick.
We ignored him, as usual. Rawlins said, "If they somehow escape, we flash the lab. If that doesn't work, the entire building goes into lockdown until reinforcements arrive."
"What does that mean? 'Flash the lab'?" I asked, brow furrowed.
"It means," Cooper said, "we push a button and the entire lab burns to a crisp, hopefully incinerating the fuckers."
That still wasn't good enough. Not by a long shot. They were immune to acid, so how did they know whether or not they'd burn?
"Can you let me see them? In person?" I asked after a few seconds of staring at the photos some more.
There was a long moment of silence and then Cooper shook his head. "No. No, it's not possible. It took us a lot of favors to be given the clearance just to show you those three shots. So, put that thought out of your head right now."
I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest, pouting like a child. I'd thought it had been worth a try, but it wasn't like anything would happen in a week if they'd given me a yes. I would never be able to come up with a plan on the flight over and no way was I going to be able to pull off whatever misguided plan to kill them.
If I could have convinced them to let me come see the things, I might have had a reason to postpone Wolf's "abduction".
Gotta find a better word.
"Can you at least tell me what you've learned about them?" I asked. I needed to start a dialogue with them so I could figure something out so I could turn Wolf down with any sort of plausibility. Otherwise, I was just gonna have to go with him or something.
It probably wouldn't be as bad as I was making it out to be, but then again it could be even worse than what I was imagining.
The two shared a look and Cooper shrugged. "I can't tell you much. We don't have a real name for them right now, so we're just calling them 'xenomorphs.'"
"What does that mean?"
"It's a general term for extraterrestrial life until a more permanent name can be decided," Rawlins replied. "It literally means 'alien form'."
Xenomorph. I rolled the name around in my noggin. I'd been thinking of them all as drones this whole time, but that was only a role they played. Not all of them were drones, like how there were warrior ants and scout ants.
"Do you call. . .the other alien, the ones that hunt us, that?" It was hard not calling Wolf by his name in front of those chumps. Well, the name I gave him, anyway.
Cooper shook his head. "We've been referring to them as 'predators' mostly."
Fitting, if lacking in creativity.
Rawlins leaned in and gathered up the pictures, then shoved them into a folder. "If that's it, we'll leave you two now. We don't have any more questions, but we'll be in contact if we require your cooperation again."
"You're leaving?" I asked, leaning forward. They couldn't leave—not yet. Not until I could convince them to destroy those . . . xenomorphs, or let me see them.
Both agents nodded. "We have to go back now. Ava will be relocated here until she thinks your therapy can be moved to someone outside of our network. Your physical therapy will be overseen by the local doctors. We're getting out of your hair now."
"No!" It was out of my mouth before I could stop it. Everyone looked at me with varying forms of curiosity and I blushed under their gazes.
Now that I had their attention, I wasn't sure how I was going to keep it. I floundered for a moment before spouting the first thing that came to my mind. "I mean . . . I—I want to speak to your superior!"
Eyes narrowed, Cooper crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever for?"
My jaw bobbed up and down as I tried to come up with an answer, then I shook my head. "That's between your boss and me."
Smooth.
The two shared another look, then Rawlins sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, we'll see if he'd be up to giving you a call or something next week. He can't just up and leave headquarters whenever."
I opened my mouth to protest. "I'd much rather talk to him in person, so if you can make that happen I'd really appreciate it."
Agent Cooper said, "We'll do our best, but it depends on how busy things are."
That was probably the best they were going to give me, so I slumped into my chair in defeat. I had to hope that they'd find out soon.
"Okay," I sighed, still pouting. "But I need you to tell me before Tuesday, okay? Have Ava call me, I'll give you my number, whatever. I just need to know before then, okay?"
Cooper was suspicious again. "Why?"
"That's none of your business," I snorted in response.
"We'll let you know before then," Rawlings agreed, smiling warmly at me. "It's been a pleasure. We'll leave you two to it."
Rawlins led Cooper out of the room, leaving me with Ava and my mental issues. Everything hinged on whether their boss would see me or not. If he wasn't going to, I was going to have to cut my losses and leave them with the bugs. There wasn't any point in me staying here if they weren't going to allow me anywhere near them.
This was my last chance. If it didn't work, then I would have to let Wolf take me and hope the government knew what it was doing.
*:・゚✧
I could handle their stares. I could handle them watching me hobble my way to my desk, leaning on the cane my physical therapist had given me. Having their eyes on me was one thing, but all of that pity, that false sympathy, and quiet murmurs were another thing entirely.
The empty desks where my classmates used to sit mocked me as I took my regular desk. Though I tried not to look, my eyes were drawn to them. I could imagine them sitting there, waiting for class to start.
I wished they were there. So I could talk to them. So I had someone else to commiserate with, who had been there. Ava was nice and helpful, but she could talk with me. Only listen.
None of the students still alive and attending knew. They could never know. And I didn't belong with them. Not anymore.
These days, I wasn't sure where I belonged. Wherever it was, it wasn't sitting quietly while some teacher prattled on about a topic I didn't care about and was of no use to me. It wasn't with people I didn't want to connect with. Couldn't connect with. Tolerate, maybe.
I'd started my physical therapy the day before, but it had mostly been stretches and some preliminary walking exercises. They'd replaced my crutches with a cane that made me feel like an old man. I could have gone with a single crutch instead of two, but I felt like a cane was easier to manage and store, not to mention it didn't hurt my armpits like the crutches had.
It was almost like walking on my own, but I would need to use it until the doctor told me I didn't have to anymore. I'd always have a limp, but I'd be able to strengthen my leg to the point where I could walk without aid.
If I ended up going with Wolf, it would probably be more impressive. At least until he fixed my legs. If he could even fix them in the first place and that wasn't just one of my flights of fancy or wishful thinking.
It was almost worth deciding to go with him if it meant I'd have full range back in my legs.
Wouldn't matter, really. I still wouldn't be able to play soccer again. Unless there was such a thing as space soccer.
Really doubted that.
"Welcome back, Nichole. It's good to see you out and about, making a recovery," Mrs. Brookes greeted me. She turned to address the class. "Please try not to bug Nichole too much, let's all give her time to readjust."
My fingers clenched a little tighter around the cane's grip, turning my knuckles white. All I wanted was to be ignored, not have the spotlight deliberately turned on me.
All the same, I muttered insincere thanks and finally sat down. I hadn't realized I was still standing until Mrs. Brookes had said something.
Maybe I shouldn't have had Ava clear me to go back to school, I thought as I pulled my textbook out of my backpack as well as my notebook. It had been necessary, though.
I had to know if I'd miss school if I went with Wolf. Honestly, I felt like the answer was going to be no but I had to be thorough.
Though there weren't a lot of people left to attend the Statistics class, I felt like an entire stadium was staring at me as I lowered myself into my seat and set my cane across my lap. There were plenty of open desks, but everyone was still in their usual positions.
Respect, habit—didn't matter why.
When I was settled in, the teacher started her lecture as soon as the bell rang. I organized my desk space, but it was mostly for show. What good was Statistics going to be? I wasn't even sure if I'd still be here to finish the school year.
Even if I was, I was certain I wouldn't want anything to do with school, with my classmates. All any of them had to offer was false platitudes and inanities. I was alone. I would probably always be alone, left with my thoughts and what I knew about the world now.
It had only been a couple days, but not hearing from either the agents or Ava was making me anxious.
I was still thinking of ways that I could convince them to let me close to the xenomorphs, and I was actually coming up with some decent ideas. Ideas that made sitting through social studies or math seem trivial.
Still needed to talk to their boss. That Dixon guy from the press conference.
Dad had been more than happy that Ava had sent home a consent form saying I was free to attend school regularly if I was feeling up to it. He'd said something about how the fresh air would do me some good.
Stupid.
"How are you feeling?"
The whispered voice startled me back into my present mind and I glanced over to the only occupied desk next to me. My former teammate, Gabby, was giving me a worried look.
"Fine," I replied mechanically. "Just tired."
She nodded and returned her eyes to the front. I was completely lost trying to figure out how far behind I was.
Maybe if I was lucky, I could skate by with a couple Cs or Ds until the end of the year.
Halfway through the lecture, my phone vibrated in my pockets. I flinched like I'd been hit, gaining the attention of a few nearby students. Blushing, I pretended it hadn't happened and reached into my pocket.
After some fumbling, I stopped the vibrations by pressing the volume control buttons.
It had to be Ava or one of the agents. Ava had requested my number as soon as I parents bought me a new cell phone, insisting that I call her at any hour of the day (or night) for whatever reason so she could help me through emergencies.
Presently, I hadn't taken her up on that offer, preferring to self-soothe.
My phone felt like it weighed a thousand pounds in my pocket, dragging me down. It had buzzed once again to let me know I had a message, and the anticipation made my hands tremble. I considered for a moment that it was Mom being herself, trying to check in and leave me a stupid message like "Hey sweetie, just wanted to wish you a good day, I love you!"
If that was the case, I was going to be so mad—getting my hopes up. For nothing.
For the rest of the class, I had the terrible urge to pull my phone out long enough to check my missed call log. I didn't want to get in trouble my first day but near the end of Statistics, I couldn't ignore it anymore. When the teacher had her back turned to write on the board, I whisked my phone from my pocket and pulled up the missed calls.
Relief was quickly chased away by apprehension. Those red letters spelling Ava's name were a beacon in this otherwise desolate wasteland of my life; the first chance I had at figuring out where my life was headed.
As expected, there was an icon in the top corner that told me I one new message.
A yes meant that I could postpone my trip to space. A no meant that I would have to suck it up and let the government handle things.
Or, I supposed, I could just tell Wolf no and not go into space at all. That's an option.
Of course, he could just pick me up and carry me off anyway if he really wanted to. I didn't know how much respect the mark on my chest netted me.
The bell shrieked and the sound of my own desperate cry mingled with it. I stood abruptly, phone skittering across the floor and chair shoved backward. My cane clattered to the ground and I stumbled over the legs of my desk but fought to stay upright despite the sharp pain in my knee.
"Nichole?"
My whole body shook as I came back to reality. I was gulping air and felt unsteady on my feet, but Gabby was holding my cane out to me, her eyes wide. I stared at her for a moment, then slowly took my cane back and let it take my weight.
"Nichole are you okay?" Mrs. Brookes asked. She had already found her way through the desks and was standing before me.
When I nodded, it was jerky and forced. I shifted my weight and rubbed my face with my palm. Over the sound of whispers, I heard them—the snickers and the jibes. "I'm fine. I just . . . the bell just startled me, that's all."
"If you need to go home—"
"No," I hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm fine. It won't happen again."
Without another word, I turned and shoved my belongings into my bags. Mrs. Brookes hovered, then turned toward the rest of the students to say, "Read chapters sixteen and seventeen tonight and complete the worksheets at the end of each. Class dismissed."
I waited until the room had cleared to leave—I didn't really want to fight to get through the door—picked up my phone, and hurried to my locker as fast I could. Once there, I struggled to remember my combination but finally pulled the door open.
It was kind of difficult leaning my weight on the cane while I tried to shove the next subject's textbooks and notes into my backpack, but I was managing. At least I could let my pack hang on my shoulder and keep my one free hand free.
Then, I wanted to check my phone.
Around me, other students chattered and laughed. I called my voicemail and covered my other ear with a hand to block out the background noise.
Ava's voice blared from the receiver. "Hello Nichole, it's Ava. I heard back from the goon squad today and they said their boss will meet you. He won't be able to fly out right away, but he'll make it for our next session. After that, I'll have you all to myself! No need to call me back unless you want to. Have a good day!"
The message ended and a lady's voice went through my options. I deleted the message and closed my locker so I could lean my forehead against it, drawing comfort from the cool steel against my skin.
Everything was coming into place. I wouldn't meet with the big boss until after I saw Wolf again, but that was fine.
I knew what I had to do. What I could do. Now it was just breaking the news to Wolf.
"Raah!"
The sound was right in my ear and someone grabbed my shoulder. I dropped my phone and tensed until my muscles hurt. When I turned, I turned around swinging my cane with a grunt, landing a solid blow against my attacker. They cried out and crumpled and I raised my impromptu weapon to—
It was just a person.
A boy, one from my previous class. Someone who had witnessed my episode.
For a moment, I stood there with my cane raised over my head and poised to strike. Once my pulse started to stabilize, I looked down at him with disdain. The desire to smack him again was strong, but one I could resist. He had one hand up to defend himself, the other clutching his shin.
"Jesus Christ! It was only a joke!"
Words failed me and I slowly lowered my cane to regain the balance I was quickly losing.
A joke?
A joke? Well, I wasn't laughing.
"What is going on here? Danny, Ni—oh. Uh, welcome back Nichole." The teacher that came to investigate was one of the music teachers. I had been in his class when I played the flute, but that hadn't lasted long. They were required classes when I started high school, but I had absolutely no musical talent so I dropped it as soon as I'd completed the credit.
"She hit me! With her stupid cane!" Danny said, standing up with a wince. I was glad the teacher said his name, or else I would have never remembered it.
Mr. Woods turned toward me, brow furrowed. "Is that true?"
Despite the situation being over, leftover adrenaline still coursed through my veins. My thoughts were incoherent at best and I motioned in Danny's general direction, saying, "He—he came up and startled me! On purpose! I didn't mean . . . I wouldn't have if I'd known—"
On some level, I knew I was babbling and making myself look even more guilty. Danny was going to get me in trouble, though. And on my first day, for something that was his fault!
Mr. Woods put his hands on his hips and I braced myself for the lecture, but he turned his stern gaze on Danny instead. "What in the hell made you think that was an okay thing to do?"
Danny averted his gaze and hunched his shoulders. "I don't know, but she—she still hit me! You can't just—"
"Get out of here," the music teacher sighed, dismissing him with a wave of his hand. "Consider this your only warning. If you need to, go to the nurse and get an ice pack."
"But—"
"Go!"
People had stopped to watch, whispering amongst themselves. I ignored their gawks and started toward my next class, but Mr. Woods beckoned for me to follow him. So instead of a public reaming, I was going to be lectured in the privacy of his classroom.
He led me through the hall and motioned for me to enter his room first before indicating that I should have a seat. The room was built with levels, like a real orchestra, withstands lining each one in front of chairs. I pushed one of the music stands aside before plopping down and waiting.
"How's your first day coming back?" he asked as he took his own seat behind the desk.
I shrugged and stared at my lap. "Fine I guess. Well, it was, at least. Everyone was being nice and stuff."
He nodded. "Well, just so you know the teachers are all more than willing to help. If you have any more issues with the students here, don't be afraid to speak up."
"Sure, I'll remember that."
"That being said," he continued, rapping the top of his desk with his knuckles, "you probably should try hard not hit the other students."
Fire burned in my chest and I leaned forward. "Mr. Woods, I didn't mean to, he—"
A raised hand cut me off and I clamped my teeth together. "I understand you went through a lot and it wasn't smart of him to play a joke like that. You're not in trouble, I just have to make sure to bring it up with you, okay?"
Begrudgingly, I nodded.
The warning bell rang and I exhaled sharply, twitching in my seat. When I looked back up at Mr. Woods, he was giving me a sympathetic smile. "I'll give you a note in case you're late to your next class."
While he scribbled said note, I collected my things and struggled to stand. I took the piece of paper and thanked him before heading to the door. When he called out to me, I barely even slowed down. "Remember, you can talk to us if you need to!"
I didn't want to talk. Not to him, not to anyone at this school. The only person I wanted to speak to next was Wolf, and that was still a weekend away.
Just a little longer, I told myself.
Plenty of time to rehearse exactly what I was going to tell him.
