Title: Journey

Disclaimer: Everything that's part of the Harry Potter world belongs to J. K. Rowling (including the dialogue taken from OotP).

Pairing: SS/RL, implied one-sided SS/LP, implied one-sided RL/NT

Author Notes: Hope everybody has a good time. It's so cold here! I don't have much to say on this chapter, just that the centaurs really met Remus, McGonagall really likes Severus a lot and Albus really knows everything that Severus tries to hide ;). Ah, and Severus really is a dunderhead sometimes ...

Yes, about Remus's and Severus's Patronuses ... they will play a role in the future and I daresay there might be a few surprises. But Severus is thinking by the same lines as you about Remus's raven ;). But who knows if that's the meaning of it ... oh, I'm in an enigmatic mood. Alas, no Remus in this chapter! But the next chapter (the last one in OotP) will be full of him.

Next Update: 8th April.

Resevius: Thanks a lot :) The McGo scene was important to me :) and I did come up with it rereading the scene in Umbridge's office. Why should she think that he is being deliberately unhelpful? He was always helpful to her wasn't he? To be honest, I don't like the idea of Remus's Patronus being a werewolf simply because his condition is such a burden for him and I cannot imagine him seeing it as a protection, so I never considered it. And I must admit I always thought that the Patronus turned into the person you loved and not the person's Patronus, I always figured that Harry got it wrong as he frequently does. It would make sense for both Severus's and Tonks's Patronus ... A bat is cool, Severus is supposed to look like one after all ;). Actually I never knew what kind of Patronus I would have ... cannot figure it out ^^.

Kiraling: I totally agree with you on the McGo/Sev dynamics. I believe Severus couldn't just take what happened to McGonagall lightly, and I just liked the idea that Severus would rescue her :). And you are looking into my head once again about the Patronus, though we will learn what Severus thinks of Tonks's new Patronus, there is definitely a reason why he still has that doe Patronus. By the way, the chapter after next will be what you are waiting for ;). Because I regretted Sirius's early death too.

Emily-pino: Yeah, we have reached the end of OotP, wicked how fast time passed :). It's always my biggest problem that everybody knows what will happen, making it very difficult to create some tension ^^. I'm glad it worked this time, though Severus is the only one who is scared for Remus' ;). Oh, it was important to me that Remus told Sirius. Though I think Sirius would have preferred not to know ^^.

soniakay: I think with Remus it will never be too late for a confession ;) Severus is just so timid.

Worry

Severus hurried back to the castle and as soon as he was on the grounds he ran over the dark grass to the Forest and entered it to stride over the soft ground straight into the very centre of it. Everything was so pitch black that he couldn't see his own feet on the ground when he walked between the trees, so he pulled his wand out and lighted it, stretching out his arm as far as it would go. There was a suspicious rustling sound following him as he proceeded deeper into the Forest wondering if he had lost his mind. The centaurs had claimed the Forest their private space and if they hadn't already noticed him, they would soon come across him. Severus quickened his steps, nervousness mounting inside him to keep the fear company. What if Potter was already in London? What if Lucius had already cornered him? And what if Potter was with the centaurs? Tied to a tree with his friends? What if Severus had sent Remus to the Ministry without a reason? Right into the murderous hands of Bellatrix Lestrange? What if Severus had sent him to his death? He stopped for a moment when he heard a cracking noise to his left and leant against a tree to calm down. He would feel it if something happened to Remus. Yes, he would definitely feel it. He would feel Remus's life leave his own body. How foolish.

He continued on and the path got narrower with every step, the noises increased, no sign of Potter or Umbridge or anyone or anything. Severus heard some curious shrieking a little to the left of him and turned in that direction, hoping that it had come from one of the girls. He tried to make absolutely no noise when he stepped through the thicket, cutting branches and thorns away with swishes of his wand. Suddenly he heard someone or something approaching him from behind at a run and he whirled round thinking 'Levicorpus!" and the creature was lifted into the air, hovering above the ground, dangling on one hoof, gleaming silvery even in darkness and neighing panic-stricken. Severus lowered his wand to let the unicorn sink softly back to the ground where it got up, turning to pelt away through the trees. Severus felt lucky that he had not had Sectumsempra on his tongue, killing a unicorn would only have cursed his already cursed life even more.

He heaved a sigh and made to go on as the renewed shriek sounded to his ears, nearby this time and he quickened his step again, slashing trees and bushes out of the way, and careless as to the noise he was making. Suddenly he heard a whistling noise and all his senses yelled in alert, braking his strides so that he stopped dead, and not a second too soon: an arrow sped past his chest and rammed into the ground at his right foot, missing only by an inch. Severus let out the breath he'd been holding and gazed up through the darkness that his wand-light couldn't illuminate, trying to make out his assaulter.

Then the surprise became even more unpleasant. He heard the rustling of leaves from all round him and the centaurs he had been worrying about stepped out of the darkness into the light of his wand, most of them with their bows out and their arrows pointing at him. Wonderfully done, Snape, look what Potter has got you into now, he thought angrily, letting his wand sink slightly as he knew centaurs didn't like being threatened by wizards. The chestnut coloured centaur right in front of Severus, who was apparently the leader, spoke to Severus.

"Another wizard in our Forest tonight," he said roughly, raising his bow to aim at Severus's face. "What are you doing here?"

"He's a teacher!" said a grey centaur to Severus's right. "One of Dumbledore's friends."

"You are, are you?" asked the chestnut coloured one and Severus thought that this was an actual question.

"I am," he replied calmly, looking carefully around at all the centaurs he could see. "I am Professor Severus Snape."

There was murmuring in the circle that the centaurs had formed around him and he felt uneasy with the idea that they seemed to know that name. A black centaur stepped forward. "Word has it you are a Death Eater," he growled and again the circle murmured irritably. "What would a Death Eater want in our Forest, if he is not in search for a werewolf?" There was snickering to be heard from some of the centaurs and Severus felt even more uneasy. He wondered if the treacherous stars had told them all they knew or if they had come across someone who had confided in them – perhaps two years ago.

"I am looking for six children," said Severus firmly, carefully avoiding to raise his wand higher, "and a woman. Have you seen them pass through?"

This time most of them laughed out loud. Severus couldn't find that a good sign. "Are they your foals?" asked the leader, his face stern. Severus felt slightly taken aback by that question and a bit embarrassed when he answered.

"They … I am responsible for them," he said quietly, hoping that the centaurs had kept to their word and not hurt the 'foals'.

"We have seen them," said the leader, nodding, obviously willing to tell Severus about his foals because he had come to look for them. Severus felt silly for calling them 'his foals', though.

"When?" he asked quickly.

"Hours ago," continued the centaur. "They had entered our territory. We could not accept it. We captured the woman, and the two young she had with her we wanted to capture as well, for they had intended to use us to get rid of the woman. But the giant interfered."

"The giant?" repeated Severus incredulously.

"Hagrid's brother. The giant he brought home with him," explained the centaur and the others pawed the ground angrily. Severus rolled his eyes in exasperation. He would try and strangle Hagrid as soon as he came back.

"And the children?" asked Severus urgently. "Where are the children?"

"Escaped," snarled the black centaur. "They were joined by four others and used Hagrid's Thestrals to leave the Forest."

Severus felt suddenly cold. With Thestrals, they must already have arrived in London before Severus had had time to send Remus and the others to the Ministry. The only good thing was that the prickling in Severus's arm had not yet turned into a searing which meant that the Dark Lord had not yet laid his hands on the prophecy. Severus thought fast about what to do. He could not go to London as well, staying in the Forest was pointless and pacing his office in the castle would cost him his last nerves. But what choice did he have?

"I assume that you will not give me the woman," said Severus, trying to get out of this situation unscathed without using magic. Some centaurs laughed, others huffed in rage.

"She will stay with us," said the chestnut coloured centaur. "She will be punished for her foul words and wizard arrogance."

Severus couldn't care to argue. He thought it served her quite right. "Very well," he said slowly, looking around the circle, letting his wand sink even further. "Then my business here is done. I apologise for the trespassing of … my foals … and for my own intrusion. I am going to leave your Forest."

The centaurs looked at each other and Severus thought that last sentence had taken its effect. He moved backwards, the twigs cracking under his feet like the ticking of a clock that counted the last seconds of his life. But the centaurs made no move and when he turned they broke the circle to let him through. He praised his cleverness while walking slowly away from them. While he heard Umbridge shriek again.

"You wizards need to look better after your foals," called the chestnut coloured centaur after him and Severus quite agreed with him. It had been his fault that Potter had escaped from the grounds. He would have preferred it if the centaurs had given the boy a good thrashing. Severus returned to the edge of the Forest by the exact same path he had come and trotted over the grounds very slowly, wondering if Remus had already found Potter and if Lucius was currently thinking about which curse to kill him with.

When Severus arrived at the castle, helpless and nervous, half the night had already passed. He descended the stairs to his office and as he entered it he found that the Pensieve had miraculously vanished from his cabinet and a message had been left in Albus's graceful hand: 'await my call.'

Severus started pacing and felt utterly useless, unable to do anything for the others. He waited and waited and waited some more, all the time worrying and all the time ready for a searing in his arm. But none came. And suddenly the prickling disappeared altogether. He stopped dead and looked down at his arm in confusion. That was the last thing he had been expecting. But he was condemned to wait nervously another hour or so before Albus called him through the fire and when Severus stepped into the circular Headmaster's office he found that it was already morning. The office was in chaos, many of Albus's possessions lying scattered over the floor broken and smashed and Albus was mending them with his wand, his eyes red, his head bent.

He looked up when Severus came closer and gave him a weak smile as he repaired a table. "Severus," he said softly and Severus heard his voice wavering slightly. "Harry was here," he added, waving a hand to indicate the mess the boy had left. Severus said nothing. He wanted to know what had happened, figuring reluctantly that something must have gone terribly wrong. He didn't dare ask what as he felt the fear mounting inside him. Albus sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Ah, Severus, I fear I have made more than one big mistake this year. And you warned me of it."

"It is not your fault, Headmaster," said Severus firmly, untruthfully, for he couldn't bring himself to blame Albus while he was in such a state, and while Severus wanted to know about the well-being of one particular person.

"You are kind, Severus," said Albus with a smile. "But I fear you are wrong. Everything that happened tonight could have been prevented, had I only …" He trailed off and his eyes became unfocused. Severus cleared his throat.

"May I ask what did happen, Headmaster?" he said quietly and feared the answer even more when Albus looked up at him with that grave expression. "Is everyone fine?" added Severus, trying to conceal how urgently he required that information. I would know, if something had happened to him, he thought firmly, I would have felt it!

Albus heaved an enormous sigh and sat down on his desk. "No, Severus, not everyone has returned from the Department of Mysteries tonight," said he heavily and Severus's heart threatened to splinter his ribcage. "One of our number will never return."

Severus was on the verge of yelling at Albus. Such enigmatic information was absolutely out of place in such a situation! "And who, Headmaster?" asked Severus, his voice shaking with the emotions he was trying to suppress. Albus's blue eyes were dull now, no twinkling, and Severus's fear was reaching a level that almost drove him mad.

"Sirius," said Albus quietly and though Severus knew it was inappropriate, relief washed over him pleasantly and he sighed as fear and anxiety finally fell away from him. It was all he could do not to say 'thank Merlin', when he realised that Remus was safe. And indeed it was that thought that made him feel irrationally guilty. Surely, Remus would be very distressed by Black's death, would grieve painfully. And Severus was surprised that the fact that Black had died did not make him happy, in fact he felt indifferent to it. He regretted that Remus would suffer, though.

Albus was considering Severus tranquilly, and Severus shifted uneasily under his gaze. "How?" asked Severus simply to distract them both from his reaction to the news.

"His cousin Bellatrix," said Albus and Severus thought he could have known. If anything was more important to Bellatrix Lestrange than kissing the Dark Lord's feet, it was purging her family tree from those she counted unworthy. "I could not prevent it, when I arrived the two of them kept fighting and it had happened before I could intervene. Remus kept Harry from running after Sirius through the veil in the Death Chamber. There is not even a body to bury now."

Severus didn't quite understand what that veil was but when he heard Remus's name he felt content with the answer. It meant that he had not been injured, either. He had to admit that everything else was unimportant. Just one more thing mattered. "The prophecy?" he asked.

"Destroyed," said Albus. "Nobody had a chance to hear it. Voldemort was not pleased."

"What do you mean?" said Severus quickly. "Did you see him? Was he there?"

"It seems he was impatient," said Albus nodding, rubbing his right wrist. "He tried to kill Harry but, luckily, I could prevent it. He possessed Harry's body and tried to make me sacrifice Harry to kill him. Harry was strong enough to drive him out of his body, though, I am sure that Voldemort could not bear the emotions that filled Harry up …"

Severus didn't know what to say. He became aware that he could just as well have sent Remus into the Dark Lord's arms, and everyone who had accompanied him, thus also sending them to their deaths. Severus sank down on a chair and ran a hand through his hair. "What about the others?" asked Severus flatly, not quite sure whom he meant.

"Well," said Albus and took a deep breath, "except for Bellatrix, I rounded up all the Death Eaters who were present at the Department of Mysteries. Unfortunately Bella slipped through my fingers. A few of them were beaten rather badly and I dare say Remus was not very gentle with dear Lucius Malfoy. But maybe that will make him ponder his situation while he spends some time in Azkaban with his fellows."

Severus nodded and felt a little regretful about Lucius's arrest, and at the same time he thought it served Lucius right for dueling with Remus. There was no doubt about where his loyalties lay.

"The children are fine, though Ronald Weasley was attacked by a brain and turned a little funny in the head, Madam Pomfrey says he will recover. Hermione Granger was hit by Dolohov's Slashing Curse and you know how dangerous that can be, she was lucky she survived. A few broken bones but nothing too serious. Nymphadora will need to spend some days at St. Mungo's and Alastor was hit rather hard but everyone else is fine. And before you burst with curiosity, Remus has not so much as a scratch. He has brought Nymphadora to St. Mungo's and will probably be staying there tonight."

Severus scowled at him, crossing his arms. "Why would that be of interest to me?" he asked defiantly, jealousy eating on him as he thought about naïve Remus holding that amorous girl's hand.

Albus gave him a shrewd look but his eyes were still sad. "Times will change now, Severus, Voldemort will step out of the shadows. We will all need someone we can rely on. I know I can rely on you," said Albus and put his hand on Severus's shoulder. "And I will have to. Now starts the hard work, Severus, I am afraid I will have to demand too much from you."

"I will do what I can," muttered Severus, feeling his eyelids droop.

"You should go to bed now, Severus," said Albus, clapping his shoulder and standing up. "I am sure you had a hard night like all of us. I will have to fetch Professor Umbridge from the centaurs, but as she is now no longer headmistress you will be able to go wherever you want, should you want to go anywhere."

Severus looked at him with narrowed eyes and got up from his chair to return to his quarters. He missed almost the whole Friday, sleeping and dreaming unpleasantly, tossing and turning but every time he woke he was too tired to get up. And though he knew he had better look after Remus, make sure he was alright, he didn't feel particularly confident about it. When Friday passed and Saturday morning came Severus agreed with himself more and more that he was the wrong person to comfort Remus about the loss of his best friend. Certainly Remus would want someone to talk to him who actually cared that Black was dead.

Severus strolled over the sunny grounds on Saturday and repeated that argument to himself many times. And quite silently he added that he could have done something to prevent Black from storming out of Grimmauld Place, instead of standing by indifferently. That ultimately he was not quite innocent that Black had felt the need to leave his hidey-hole. And that in the end, he just didn't dare see Remus because he feared the blame and the helplessness. Wouldn't Remus be even more upset when he saw that Severus couldn't care less about Black's death? Severus felt so upset himself that he took points from two Ravenclaws who were having a romantic picnic, giving as a reason that they were suffocating the ants that were living under the tablecloth the two children were sitting on.

The rest of Saturday passed very uneventfully, except for the visit he received from Draco who was so upset about the arrest of his father that Severus could have sworn he was on the verge of tears. He angrily tossed the little 'I' on his robes into Severus's fireplace and kicked the leg of Severus's desk with a cry of frustration. Severus heaved a sigh and cast around for something to say to the boy.

"I will make Potter pay for this!" said Draco forcefully, balling his hands into fists. "I promise I will avenge my father! This is all Potter's fault! Why is he always so lucky?"

"I do not believe your father would like you to avenge him, Draco," said Severus quietly. "You should calm down and lie low. Leave the rest to us."

"To you, yeah right!" said Draco loudly. "Where were you when my father was arrested? What did you do to help him?"

Severus got up angrily. "I do not expect you to understand that, Draco, and I am aware that what happened to your father upsets you, but I will not be spoken to like that! I had my orders and so did your father, it was not my task to babysit him! A hot-blooded teenager does not gain much respect. Not with me and not with the Dark Lord."

"I will receive the Mark," muttered Draco as he was opening the door. "You'll see, I will become a Death Eater and then I'll show Potter!"

He slammed the door and it was Severus's turn to kick the leg of his desk. He felt like seeing Remus and was halfway to the fireplace when he realised he couldn't see him. He swore under his breath. It was best if he pretended that he had to wait for term to end before visiting Remus, that would at least be an acceptable pretext why he had not yet seen him. Albus visited him in his office as well, telling him that they would need to abandon Grimmauld Place until it was clear whether it had been passed on to Bellatrix or possibly Potter. Severus nodded but was barely listening. His mind was in London where his werewolf, he was sure, was currently clearing out Black's room. Had he been right in not seeing him right after Black's death? He knew he hadn't been. But he liked to deceive himself. Remus would be comforted by the Weasleys and Tonks and Shacklebolt. Severus would only be in the way of their grief.

With Sunday came the Sunday Prophet and in it a pretentious article about the Dark Lord's return and the rehabilitation of Potter. Severus folded the paper and left it on his coffee table as he left his quarters to get some fresh air. He knew he had to expect a call rather sooner than later but right now his arm was being left alone and he wanted to distract his mind from everything else by lying down in the place by the water where he had rescued Remus from drowning two years ago. When he ascended the stairs to the Entrance Hall he heard agitated voices drifting towards him and when he reached the top of the stairs he saw Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Potter standing in front of the open gates.

"The Dementors have left Azkaban," said Draco quietly. "Dad and the others'll be out in no time."

Yeah, I expect they will," said Potter as Severus walked slowly closer. "Still, at least everyone knows what scumbags they are now –"

Draco reached for his wand but Potter reacted so quickly that he had his pointed at Draco before Draco's hand had entered his pocket. Severus strode forward to prevent bloodshed. "Potter!" he called and when the boy looked at him Severus saw the hatred in his very eyes. Another parent lost, and Severus as the perfect scapegoat. He couldn't even blame Potter for it. "What are you doing, Potter?"

"I'm trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir," replied Potter fiercely, causing Severus to stare at him for talking back at him like that.

"Put that wand away at once," said Severus curtly. "Ten points from Gryff–" he added but stopped as he looked at the giant hour-glasses that counted the house points and found the Gryffindor hour-glass empty. He sneered at Potter, feeling that some things never changed. And really, he could never comprehend what it meant to lose a beloved father. "Ah, I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hour-glass to take away. In that case, Potter, we will simply have to –"

"Add some more?" said a voice from behind his back and he turned to find McGonagall limping up the stairs to the Entrance Hall. Severus strode towards her.

"Professor McGonagall!" he said a little more cordially than was like him. "Out of St. Mungo's, I see!"

"Yes, Professor Snape," said she, shrugging off her travelling cloak. "I'm quite as good as new. You two – Crabbe – Goyle –" The two of them shuffled towards her and Severus wondered if Salazar Slytherin had valued cleverness after all. "Here," she said, thrusting her bag into Crabbe's arms and her cloak into Goyle's, "take these up to my office for me!" They turned and disappeared up the marble staircase and Severus wasn't sure whether they knew where her office was.

"Right then," said McGonagall, looking at the hour-glasses at the wall. Severus had no good feeling about this and he knew McGonagall would spoil his mood as a welcome back treat for herself. "Well, I think Potter and his friends ought to have fifty points apiece for alerting the world to the return of You-Know-Who! What say you, Professor Snape?"

"What?" snapped Severus, more out of shock than out of the believe that he had misheard her. "Oh – well – I suppose …"

"So that's fifty each for Potter, the two Weasleys, Longbottom and Miss Granger," said McGonagall and Severus watched in dismay as a shower of rubies fell into the bottom of the Gryffindor hour-glass. "Oh, and fifty for Miss Lovegood I suppose," she added and Ravenclaw received a few sapphires. "Now, you wanted to take ten from Mr Potter, I think, Professor Snape – so there we are …" A few rubies returned to Gryffindor's upper bulb and Severus wasn't sure if she was just teasing him or if she was trying to placate him. "Well, Potter, Malfoy, I think you ought to be outside on a glorious day like this."

McGonagall sounded so happy that Severus was inclined not to help her upstairs as he had intended. But when Potter hurried outside and Draco shuffled after him she smiled at Severus rather warmly and held out her hand to him. He took it, and was reminded for a moment of Remus. "I heard what you did for me," said McGonagall quietly, squeezing his hand before releasing it. "I thank you. I must admit that sometimes I thought you would sacrifice anything to duty but I was mistaken. And I was truly moved to hear that you spent the whole night at my bedside."

Severus felt himself blush unpleasantly and looked away, rubbing his neck. "Who's told you that?" he muttered as they moved towards the marble staircase. He held out his arm to her to support her while climbing the stairs. She took it gratefully and held onto him.

"Remus kindly visited me at the hospital when he was leaving Nymphadora on Friday evening," explained McGonagall and Severus's stomach churned. "He told me everything that happened in the Ministry, and while we were talking he also mentioned you. It seemed important to him that I learned what you have done."

Severus kept silent, rather embarrassed by the fact that McGonagall knew how sentimental he had become, and uneasy with the fact that many people had talked to Remus since the incident in the Department of Mysteries, just not Severus. After a while of walking in silence, except for the regular clanking of McGonagall's walking stick, he cleared his throat. "How did he seem to you?" he asked quietly, trying to sound casual. McGonagall didn't seem suspicious of that question she just looked thoughtful.

"Well, he looked exhausted when he was with me," she replied. "Upset, naturally, after all his best friend died, was killed, right before his eyes. But he didn't seem eager on the subject so I didn't go into it."

Severus nodded slowly as they entered McGonagall's office and suddenly he felt the insuppressible urge to get away from her. Be alone. He helped her into her chair and she leaned the walking stick against the window sill. "Thank you again, Severus," she said, giving him another warm smile that he thought he didn't deserve. "I even missed you at St. Mungo's, it was rather boring without our bickering."

Severus smirked slightly and moved back towards the door. "I am glad that you have made a full recovery, Minerva," said he softly and when he noticed how exceptionally mild he sounded he added, "Hogwarts would have been very dull without a rival like you."

"Of course," agreed McGonagall with a small nod and he left, reassured that she knew he cared. Until a few days ago he hadn't even known himself how much he cared. He felt vulnerable when he descended the stairs, vulnerable because he noticed that there was more than one person that he would regret to lose, whom he would miss if they died. He didn't know whether he would be able, after all, to carry out his duty cold-bloodedly. It was not just Remus, he noticed, whom he couldn't sacrifice to the purpose.

Severus spent his last week at Hogwarts wandering over the grounds sometimes accompanied by McGonagall who needed a break every few feet, or Albus who didn't talk at all but seemed pensive and preoccupied. Though Severus was grateful that they wanted to keep him company, he felt exhausted sometimes. His arm had started prickling horribly and he was expecting a call any second of the day and for that he preferred to be alone. Besides he wanted to be on his own when dwelling on misery. He was now certain that his decision not to see Remus about the death of Black had been wrong. And as soon as he saw the werewolf again he would have to justify it. He had once before failed to justify such a decision. This time though he needed to come around sooner. He hated it when Remus gave him that disappointed look. He couldn't bear being apart from Remus, even now, and he felt something that he would never have believed possible, he felt the urge to be there for Remus and help him cope with the loss of his best friend.

In his grave mood he couldn't even find especially amusing Umbridge's flight from the castle one day before the end of term, chased away by Peeves who hit her over the head with McGonagall's walking stick and a sock filled with chalk. He didn't hold his students back as they joined the other houses in running into the Entrance Hall to watch, in fact he thought again that it served her right to be punished a little. But he did not feel like watching it himself, other than McGonagall who regretted having no walking stick to join the students. He was rather lethargic. His arm was killing him. His longing for his werewolf was suffocating him. Yes, he was feeling dreadfully vulnerable.

The end of term feast was much as usual, Albus talked about the Dark Lord and after a few sentences Severus stopped listening. He didn't need a reminder of his master, he had it right there in his arm. He packed his things that night and sent them ahead to Spinner's End but decided to spend another night at Hogwarts, averse to returning to his dismal house and indeed afraid that Remus would be waiting there for him. But then again, why would he? He was probably angry with Severus.

McGonagall said good-bye rather cordially and he helped her down the stairs to the carriage that would be bringing her to Hogsmeade. He looked after her for a few very long moments, when the students had already left and the grounds were quiet. He didn't even notice Albus coming up behind him.

"You should go home too, Severus," he said and Severus was too tired to jump in surprise. "I believe you still have somewhere to go."

Severus grumbled, not sure whether Albus actually knew that Severus had neglected Remus or if he was referring to the Dark Lord. "I'm already on my way," said Severus quietly and looked round at Albus. "Do you already have a new DADA teacher?" he asked automatically and expected the usual apologetic look Albus was so very good at. But Albus just shook his head and seemed very interested in a butterfly that soared past them.

"Have a good holiday, Severus," he said pleasantly. "And do not be timid. I believe the time to be timid is long past, we must seize our chances. Me too. I will have a few things to do and maybe I will need your help."

"I am always at your service," said Severus and Albus smiled, nodding.

When Severus arrived at Spinner's End he slouched up into his bedroom and slumped down on his bed with a sigh. Back again. Another year past. Another war started. And another distance he had created between Remus and himself. When he finally found the strength to get up again the next day had already reached its afternoon and he found that his arm was still prickling unpleasantly, driving him absolutely mad. Luckily, when he was just intending to leave the house, he had not even time to open the door before he felt in his arm a redeeming searing, finally ridding him of the wretched prickling.