Summary: (Harry Potter / Hetalia Axis Powers Crossover) England decides to teach at Hogwarts to keep an eye on the Boy Who Lived. But the famous Trio (Harry, Ron, Hermione) are becoming suspicious of their new professor... Can England keep his status as a country a secret? And what does Voldemort want with him?

Disclaimer: Harry Potter was created by J.K. Rowling. Hetalia Axis Powers was created by Hidekaz Himaruya. Harry Potter and Hetalia belong to their rightful owners. I do not own either.


Harry


"OUT OF THE WAY, MIDGETS! HERO COMIN' THROUGH!"

Harry and Ron just about snorted out their orange juice up through their noses when Matthew bounded through a widely dispersed pack of startled second and third years and into the Great Hall. Hermione looked up, her face uncomprehending. Not one of them had ever heard the Canadian speak that loudly before...

"What the bloody hell...?" muttered Ron between coughs, trying to contain the juice he'd been drinking inside his mouth. Harry swatted at his friend's back to help clear his throat, and although he said nothing, he full-heartedly agreed with him. 'What the bloody hell', indeed... The entire capacity of the hall- staff, students and all- were stunned.

The brother of Kirkland was different this morning. WAY different, and even that was an understatement. Had Matthew undergone an abrupt overnight personality change or something?

Then, like a ghost, a similar figure passed and drifted through the standing and scattered students and made his way to Matthew's side. He was far less intruding with his entrance, and Harry was struck with absolute bafflement at the resemblance between the two people. They were so closely related in looks, that at first glance, they were almost identical. Who was the real Matthew, then? ...It must be the quieter of the two, that much made sense.. But then... who was the other person?

"Alfred," said the real Matthew quietly. "You're scaring them..."

Harry's green eyes widened. Oh, of course. Alfred. He knew that he'd heard that name before.

"I have many... younger siblings." Harry noticed that Kirkland hesitated on the words "younger siblings", acting as though he was unsure of what term to use. "Some have been adopted into my family, but all are my brothers and sisters. That's where Alfred comes in. He and Matthew, who you may have also heard in the howler, are... sort-of-twins."

Yes, Harry definitely understood now.

While the resemblance between Kirkland and Williams had been more subtle and less physical, the similarity between Alfred and his brother was like a smack in the face. It was blaringly evident in just about every length, shape, and contour of the two men's faces and bodies. Sure, there were differences... The more confident and naïve bearing of Alfred that made him look taller at first glance, the more thoughtful and meek expressions of Matthew, the straight and short hair of Alfred versus the more wavy and long hair that Matthew sported, Alfred's cowlick in comparison to Matthew's single protruding small hair-stand, the glasses that Alfred wore(1)... These were all minimal when compared with the grand picture though. They may not have been perfectly identical, but the two brothers came very close.

"HOLY CRAP! Mattie! There's English food everywhere! GAH!" Alfred mimed a heroic and tragic death scene. "Save me, Mattie! I'll die before Christmas! Gleh..." he whimpered dramatically. Matthew was thoroughly unimpressed and unamused.

From behind the twins came Kirkland, who was literally glowering with irritation. The flabbergasted occupants of the hall just watched, unsure of how to react. Breakfast was rarely this interesting... or loud (with the exception of morning-delivered howlers, of course).

"I don't recall you complaining when you were a child, Alfred!" snapped the irked Professor, his face and voice defensive.

Alfred moved his attention from Matthew to Kirkland, his expression painted in an image of mock horror. "It probably damaged me! Poisoned me at a young age-"

"I won't entirely argue that you're mentally deficient-"

"HEY-!"

"But it wasn't English food that was the cause. I can assure you of that! 'Must've been born that way, if you ask me!"

Harry wondered what Alfred's grudge was against English food. He didn't seem to legitimately hate it, if the way he was periodically eying the muffins was anything to go by. Most likely he was just trying to bother his brother. That was Harry's guess, at least.

"WHY ARE YOU SO MEEEAAAAN TO MEEEEE!" Alfred collapsed into Kirkland's arms, wailing with shiny eyes. Harry caught a glimpse of mischief in one of those cheeky blue irises. This man was enjoying embarrassing Kirkland. Despite the chaos and calamity of everything that was going on around him, Harry couldn't help but smile forlornly. Alfred reminded Harry so much of Sirius' stories about his, Lupin, and James' school days, (though Harry was willing to bet that this Alfred was a bit more outgoing). He would've gotten along well with Sirius... and his dad...

"I'm mean to you?! Cry me a river, Alfred!"

"Stop!" peeped up Matthew. Remarkably his voice wasn't intelligible, and they all heard it clearly. "Alfred, you're acting like Francis does when he gets into a fight with Arthur..."

Alfred was apparently appalled. What Matthew said must've been a pretty high insult. "I am nuthin' like that wine-drinking-frenchie!"

Arthur huffed, lifting his head high. "I wouldn't be too sure about that. You both annoy me equally."

"Well SCREW you guys. WHAT, is this like "gang-up-on-Alfred-day" or something? You're my brother, Matt! You're supposed to side with meee!"

"A-actually I really don't want to take sides at a-all, you're both being immature..." Matthew looked timid, not wanting to get too involved in the loud shouting match that was drawing the eyes and ears of just about everyone in the school.

Grinning for some unknown reason, Alfred said slyly, "Arthur told me that he thinks hockey is a hooligan's sport."

"I never said such a-" Arthur opened his mouth to deny Alfred's claim, but before he could, Alfred's hand shot up and slammed over the bottom of his face, keeping him quiet.

"Well... uh... that's okay, he's entitled to his own opinion..." Matthew looked uncomfortable about this. "It is a little rowdy, eh?..."

"He also said that it's stupid."

The suddenly menacing Canadian screamed louder than the two of them combined. "I WILL END YOU!"

In that moment, Harry decided that Kirkland's family must be really dysfunctional. Not only that, but it seemed that not even Matthew was normal. Even he wasn't exempt from the craziness bred into each and every one of them. But despite all that, Harry felt jealous... His soul screamed for a family-knit circle as close and familiar as theirs. But that was impossible. He had the Durselys, and nothing else. He'd dealt with them for years, and he would have to deal with them for even more years to come in the future, so he might as well get used to it...

/


/

By some miracle the bickering brothers managed to settle down enough to eat a meal together in peace and relative silence. Afterwards, Harry, Ron, and Hermione met the three brothers outside the Great Hall by running into them by chance.

"Hey, little dudes," said Alfred casually. He was a lot calmer and easy-going now than he'd been during breakfast, and had one arm slung over Matthew's shoulder. "What's up?"

"Nothing, really..." answered Ron on behalf of all three of them. The red-haired Gryffindor was acting wary around the blue-eyed man, but he was quickly warming up to him.

Hermione was fully enraptured by what was going on, and was taking in every word that was being exchanged. She would never miss out an opportunity to learn more about Kirkland, and these two brothers of his were just another piece to the puzzle that went by the name of Arthur Kirkland.

"Sooo... you're Matthew and Professor Kirkland's brother?" asked Ron, stating the obvious.

"Mmhm! Yup!" hummed Alfred in agreeable affirmation.

Kirkland (who was still in an unexplained foul mood) said in a slightly snide and sharp voice, "Is that so? I had no idea you thought of me in that way."

"'Course I do, Iggs!" said Alfred, his puppy-dog face metamorphosing into a display of open confusion.

"If I were to use your own words: 'I'm no longer a child, nor your little brother.' Correct? Now, what does that say to you?"

"Jesus, Iggy! That happened like... forever ago. Why bring it up?"

Harry felt like he was intruding upon something private and personal. Arthur and Alfred were suddenly glaring at each other, though hurt was the underlying emotion underneath all that anger. Had these two had a falling out of some kind? And what had it been over? Harry thought of Kirkland's use of dark magic, and entertained the idea that maybe that had been the source of their old disagreement. Perhaps Alfred knew about it, and had disapproved.

Hermione did the wise thing and attempted to change the subject around. "So, uh, where are you from?"

Immediately Alfred was bright and happy again, having apparently forgotten about being mad at Kirkland for the time being. "It's great you asked! I hail from the U S of A!"

"O-oh... that's nice," stuttered Hermione. "I just thought... since your brother Matthew was from Canada..."

"Nope! Pure American right here!"

Yet another relative from a different country. What on Earth is the deal with Kirkland's family? How can your siblings become so displaced like that? Harry's green eyes narrowed, and his lips drew tight into a thin line.

"So... what's your name?" continued Hermione. Harry shot her a look. Why ask that? They already knew his name. Well, he didn't know that they knew, but still...

"Alfred F. Jones!" answered Alfred enthusiastically.

Another oddity. His last name is different... Just what is going on here? This has to be the weirdest family to ever exist. It's certainly the strangest family I've ever stumbled upon...

"Boy, it's been forever since I came here," said Alfred, looking around at the interior of the castle, his eyes reviewing the many portraits that were hanging on Hogwarts' walls. "Remember when we came here, Mattie? Those were the days! Just you and me, two little shrimps in Gryffi-door or-whatever-it's-called, against the world! Haha! Good times!"

"Yea, for sure, Alfred," softly said Matthew, the focus in his face fading and his violet irises growing distant as they fondly cherished some long-ago memories.

Hermione's face was clouded over with thought, and Harry wondered at what she could possibly be thinking of...


America


It was the afternoon, and Alfred was bored. England wasn't so interesting anymore. He turned so... dull to Alfred when he was teaching. At first, Alfred had been fascinated to watch the thick-browed nation teach, but now it was just the plain, same-old routine... He was an engaging teacher, to be sure, but Alfred felt like he was sitting in school again... bored out of his mind. Not only that, but England had been snappish and irked almost the entire day, (worse than usual) and Alfred didn't know why... He would mutter stuff like "Dumbledork", "what does he know?", and "this is bad" under his breath when he thought no one was listening.

That was it. Alfred was done. He needed to be stimulated! Alfred had to do something exciting, and soon, or he'd die!

And so, America had decided to ditch England and go exploring the castle, bringing an unwilling Canada along for the ride. Canada had been less than eager, but America wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Come on, Matt! It'll be fun!" said Alfred, dragging along a stumbling Matthew by his arm. Matt was having a hard time keeping up.

"If you say so, Alf..."

Since classes were still in session, the two brothers had free reign of the school, and didn't have to worry about swerving round crowds of students. Alfred and Matthew dashed about the place, admiring the armoured knights and statues stationed at regular intervals in the halls, and occasionally engaging the people in portraits in conversation. Once, while wandering about the dungeons, Alfred poked his head into a room, and it turned out that that room was actually the potions classroom.

The Death Eater Snape (whom had been the one to help rescue Matthew) shot Alfred a glare so powerful that Alfred felt like hiding under a bed. Jeez, this man belonged in a horror film. The shocked students in the classroom scrutinised Alfred, and quite suddenly the United States felt very sheepish.

"Whoops!" America closed his eyes and smiled, inwardly sweating. He ducked out of the classroom, and girlish giggles from some of the students followed his head on the way out.

"Did you see him?"

"Isn't he cute?"

"And he has a twin, too! Double the cuteness~"

"Eee!"

"This is a potions class ladies!" Snape's angry tones filtered through the door.

Matthew sighed, slowly running both of his hands down his face, while Alfred just grinned at the comments coming through the closed door.

"If girls want to admire this sexy beast, who am I to say no?" said Alfred, winking playfully.

Canada groaned in answer.


From that point on, the North American brothers avoided classroom doors like the plague in order to prevent another disruption. Eventually, they ended up running into another pair of red-headed students in the Owlery.

"Hey, you two!" said Alfred, darting forward with a smile. The two red-heads jolted at the loudness of his greeting. "Skipping class, huh? I like your style!"

Matthew came up behind Alfred, not far behind. "Maple... don't encourage them, Alfred..."

The boys turned their heads, and Alfred was hit with the realisation that they were identical twins. "Hey! Fellow twins, Matt! You two are officially my best friends."

"Name's are George and Fred Weasley," one of the twins introduced themselves in an almost professional manner.

The other twin's eyes glinted strangely, his mouth splitting into a roguish smile. "Hey, interested in setting fire to a toad-faced Professor's classroom?"

That sure sounded fun. Alfred decided right then and there that he liked these two. He liked them a lot.


England


"I know it was you two plus the Weasley boys who did it! Just fess up, already!"

England was having a go at Matthew and Alfred, both of whom were staring at the ground shamefully. The only difference was that although Matthew looked mostly guilty, Alfred was not in the least bit ashamed, and was giggling behind locked teeth.

"I'm sorry..." sniffed Matthew, and for a minute England remembered him as a smaller boy in a similar position, trying to apologise for breaking his china-tea-cup.

"Alfred, why do you have to be such a bad influence," scolded England, rounding on Alfred.

"Why do you have to blame everything on me!" said Alfred, sticking out his tongue. "Ever since we were little, you always thought Matt was this little angel who could do no wrong. I didn't force him into anything! You have to admit, it was pretty freaking hilarious! Haha, you should've seen that witch's face!"

England ground his molars together, feeling sorely tempted to draw his wand on the two of them. Not that he would hex them, just threaten and scare them a bit. "As much as I ha-dislike Umbridge, that was uncalled for. Setting fire is a LITTLE extreme don't you think?!"

"Oh please, it was a special kind of MAGIC fire. It wouldn't actually burn her! Just rile her up a bit."

"Don't try something like that again, Alfred!" warned England, waving a finger at him like a parent disciplining a naughty child. Alfred made an offended face at the demeaning gesture.

"Okay, mom," whined Alfred in an impish voice.

England's mouth formed into a scowling snarl. His face went almost completely red. "I told you to never call me that!"

"We're sorry, mom," said Matthew with a false-trembling lip, and England was taken back by Canada's little bout of rebellion.

"...Why do I even bother..."


Canada


It wasn't long before England announced to Alfred his plans of sending Matthew back home, and how that plan included Alfred leaving as well. At first, Alfred had protested deeply. But then, his opinion slowly began to turn around the more England argued.

"The Headmaster is catching on to what we are. Now more than ever it is imperative that you should go home. Besides, the only purpose you two have here is to be bargaining chips for the Dark Lord to get to me. Do us all a favour and stay safe and secluded in your homes, so that I may deal with this issue internally and without any distractions," pointed out England.

Alfred frowned, his shoulders drooping sadly. "I... okay, when you put it that way, it makes sense..." Like Alfred, Matthew was beginning to see what England was getting at. Still, if Alfred was right about Death Eaters recruiting elsewhere, then this had blown up into far more than an "internal" issue...

"Of course it makes sense. The only correct thing for me to do is to have you return to your own lands."

"...Fine, we'll go..." Canada was legitimately surprised at America's easy agreement. He rarely gave up the fight that easily.

Nodding with satisfaction, England said, "Good. Tonight, you and Matthew will leave the school and head into the forest. I've written Northern Ireland a letter, and he's agreed to meet you there and then to proceed to take you to the London airport via side-along apparation."

"Oh... good..." Matthew didn't trust himself to try and apparate again.

"I've organised a flight to take you to Ottawa, and Northern Ireland will escort the two of you to the right flight," finished England. "And Alfred, I'd suggest not waiting to tell the other nations that Matthew is with you."

Sighing and closing his eyes, Matthew reviewed the implications of this decision in his head. True to his word, Canada hadn't told anyone about England's coughing-condition, and that included Alfred. Right now, he was almost considering breaking that promise and telling America. Someone needed to stay and tend to England... but deep down Matthew knew that the former-pirate would never willingly accept their coddling. It was useless to try.

So... it was official. They were leaving. Matthew slowly rubbed his hands together, unconsciously fiddling with his thumbs. He was going home... Finally. Then why did he feel so... disappointed?


Harry


"Look at this!" Hermione ran at Ron and Harry like a demon, her voice unruly, her hair frizzy, and her eyes wild. She was clutching an old, yellowed, and frayed scroll of paper in his arm.

"What is it?" asked Ron, flinching at her frightful appearance. Something must've really shaken her...

She thrust the scroll into their faces, rolling it open simultaneously. Her finger dragged down a long list of names printed out in ink on the paper. Finally, her finger stopped, halting next to a name.

'Alfred Jones'. Gryffindor.

"Check out the date," breathed Harry to Ron.

'1764'

"And that's not all," said Hermione, her finger moving further down the column of names. "I knew that these names sounded familiar... I've stumbled upon them in the old school records before..." Once again, Hermione's finger landed on another name.

'Matthew Williams'.


Author's Note:

Sorry nothing exciting just filler. *shrugs*

-(1) Matthew's glasses likely did not survive his capture in Berlin. I've neglected to mention that... So yea, he hasn't had time to get a replacement pair yet.

PastryPuffins: QAQ *(HUGSYOUTIGHTLY*) Auraux: *PULLSYOUINTOTHEHUG*

Remember how last chapter I mentioned that I could feel the winter comin'? WELL THAT NIGHT WE HAD THE BIGGEST SNOWFALL YET I JINXED IT SHIET QAQ (It's a good thing that winter is actually my favourite season X'D. I like to fake-complain, but in reality it doesn't bother me in the slightest.)

I just love how rough-around-the-edges Alfred and England's relationship is. It makes me muy happy.

WE MADE IT TO ONE THOUSAND REVIEWS GUISE HOLY SHIZZLE 0-0 *KESES* I NEVER EXPECTED TO GET THIS MANY REVIEWS WHEN I STARTED OUT. NEVER. I AM SO HAPPEH RIGHT NOW ;W; Thank you dearly... :'3

Please review! They help me to write quickly for you all! Love you~!