Naruto: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Sephiroth: Zzzzzzzzzzzz…
Aizen: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Wesker: Zzzz… hrm… Ouch, my head… Hey? Anyone alive here?
Naruto: I'm not sure…
Aizen: I've been dead for decades…
Sephiroth: Hey, what date is it?
Wesker (Turning his head): It's… Shit, it's 31th.
Sephiroth: Wait… That means we celebrated Christmas for five days…
Naruto: Ugh… Too much vodka…
Aizen: True… Wait, where's Darth?
Darthemius (Entering through the door): Ho, ho, ho!
Naruto (Rolling his eyes): Oh, look fellas! It's Santa!
Wesker: You're a little late, pal. Christmas was five days ago…
Aizen: Or perhaps you're just too drunk to realize that?
Darthemius: Bitch! What fucking Santa?! Look closer!
Naruto (Looking closer): Shit, he's right…
Wesker: He's wearing blue… But Santa's wearing red.
Sephiroth: He said he's not Santa, you idiot.
Darthemius (Grinning): Right you are, Seph! Indeed, I'm not Santa Claus. And I'm feeling better because I'm Russian. And here we get drunk on Catholic Christmass, New Year, Orthodox Christmas… Hell, even Chinese New Year! So I'm quite tolerant.
Aizen: So, who are you if not Santa Claus.
Darthemius: Ah, that's a good question! You see, guys…
Wesker: Oww… Not so loud, please…
Darthemius: Sorry… Anyway, since there are no Catholics here in Russia, we don't celebrate Christmas. Instead we celebrate the New Year! And of course we have our version of Santa Claus! I am Ded Moroz!
Naruto: De… What?
Darthemius: Ded Moroz, you moron.
Sephiroth: Oh? And what's the difference?
Darthemius: Ah, I'll tell you the difference! First of all, Ded Moroz has no fucking elfs, no fucking reindeers, and he's also not fat.
Wesker: Then what the hell does he have?!
Darthemius (Grinning): High alcohol tolerance… But that's what we all have. However! There is one great advantage Ded Moroz has over Santa Claus!
Aizen: What advantage?
Darthemius: Ded Moroz has a GRANDDAUGHTER! Come in, Snow Girl!
Trish: Woo Hoo! Heya, guys!
Everyone picking themselves up: Ohhh?
Darthemius: But that's not all! Since I'm your toughest SOB Ded Moroz in the world, and since I appreciate everything you did for me this past year… I have a whole fucking bunch of granddaughters!
A bunch of hot girls in bikini (filling up the room): HI, EVERYONE!
Naruto: OH HELL YEAH!
Wesker: Fucking shit! It's official, Ded Moroz rocks!
Girls: SEPHY!
Sephiroth (Blushing): Don't call me that…
Wesker: Hey, hey, hey! What about me?!
Naruto: Don't worry, pal. He can't handle more than four… And by the looks of it, there are far more. Shit, I can't even count so much.
Aizen: Girls, girls! I'm a traditionalist. I like to take girls on a date first.
Girls: But Aizen-sama, we so wanted to see your bankai!
Aizen: Well, if you put it that way…
Naruto: Hey, man! Where did you get all of them?
Darthemius: Oh, I just promised all of them a Sephiroth poster with his signature.
Naruto (Raising an eyebrow): Do you really have so many posters?
Darthemius: Are you stupid? Of course, not. So we'll have to fuck them all into unconsciousness.
Naruto: No problems with me, man! I'll start now!
Darthemius: Yeah, you do that.
Anyway, sorry guys for the lack of update. I wanted to update on Christmas, but I was drunk as shit. In fact, I'm already drunk right now! Still, I told myself I have to update today, or I won't be sucked off tonight… which is bad. Because apparently girls heard that and said that I will get no New Year present, if you know what I mean. So here it is, a new chapter. As promised, a shocker in the end.
Just one thing… Please, for the love of god, stop commenting me on Kushina. I DID NOT… read that DID NOT made her a bitch yet, for a gave no damn explanation about Tsubaki not being Minato's daughter. However, I got so many messages about that 'I did', and that it was a 'very bad decision', so I'm starting to consider it. I'm telling you, guys. If I get too annoyed, I'll make her a bitch just for the sake of it. After all, I am not a Kushina fan.
Other than that, I hope you all had Merry Christmas. And I also hope you'll have a very nice new year. I love you all… Girls anyway.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!
...
Chapter twenty eight: Not exactly as planned.
"Shin-ne!" – talks.
'Nah.' – thoughts.
"You will." – demonic/jutsu.
...
Konohagakure no sato. Main gate…
"Ahh, good to be home." Kiba exclaimed, taking a deep breath.
"No place like." Ino agreed.
"You can all enjoy later." Hinata interrupted. "First things first. Kiba, Shino. Take Uchiha to the hospital, he still needs treatment. Anko, come with them."
"Got it, boss!" Anko saluted with a happy smile on her face, making Hinata shook her head and sigh.
"Now Shikamaru. You and your team will get the rest to Ibiki. Let's see if he can get something out of them."
Said chuunin nodded. "Understood."
"Hey, hey, hey!" Suigetsu yelled in protest. "How come that he…" He pointed at Sasuke. "…Is coming to the hospital, and we're going to… someplace else?!"
Hearing this, Hinata just smiled at him sweetly. "Do not worry yourself about that. After few sessions with our head interrogator, you will head straight there for sure."
"Head interrogator?" Suigetsu's eyebrows rose. "Oh shi…"
Surprisingly Sasuke was silent. Not just that, he didn't make any noise during their entire trip back to the village. In fact, the only thing he did was staring absently in space.
"Hey, wait a goddamn second!" Kiba replied. "And what about that… you know…"
"Hinata and myself will be confronting sensei obviously." Kakashi stated. "It is for the best if only the two of us will come."
"Indeed." Hinata agreed. "There is one thing however…" Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Neither one of you will speak about what you have found on this mission. That is an order. Disobedience to that order will mean high treason and will lead to execution. Is that clear?"
Everyone nodded hesitantly.
"Good. You all have your orders now. Go!"
Somewhere in Earth Country…
"So ease down, and wrap your legs around me, babe! Wrap your legs around me. Ease down, and… Where is that stupid asshole?!" Naruto exclaimed in frustration, continuing his search for Utakata, the Rokubi jinchuriki. "Should've picked the girl. At least she stays in one place… Oh! At fucking last!"
Naruto hopped onto the next tree branch and stopped. 'Let's check…' He pulled out a picture and looked down. 'Yep, jackpot!'
Indeed. Right below his position stood Utackata… beside some unknown girl. What's more important is that they were facing a group of Kirigakure ANBU.
'Oh? This should be interesting.' Naruto leaned on a tree and grinned, smelling a good fight. Besides, it would give him a good idea about jinchuriki's abilities.
But to his disappointment…
"I am ready." Utakata stated confidently. "I'm turning myself in and coming back to the village."
"Awwww…" Naruto made a fake pout. 'Now that's a letdown. Still, having that piece of trash back in Kiri wasn't in my plans, so…'
"We are glad that you came to that conclusion." One of the ANBU spoke. "However, we have no instructions to bring that girl with us."
Utakata sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sorry, but there is no helping it. She's…"
"I'm coming with Utakata-sensei." The girl interrupted.
"Utakata-sensei?"
"Don't ask…"
"I see…" The ANBU paused. "I must warn you then, girl. Your sensei's fate is still undecided. If Mizukage-sama chooses to have him executed, then we must obey."
"I don't care." The girl shook her head. "I'm gonna stay with sensei until the end."
Utakata looked at her kindly. "Hotaru…"
"Hmm… Very well then, you can come with us." The ANBU said, but…
"Sorry, guys!" Unknown voice suddenly came from all directions, startling everyone. "But the only place you all will be going to is the afterlife."
"Who's there?!" ANBU shouted, drawing a kunai. "Show yourself!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Are you really, really sure?"
"YES, DAMN IT!" The ANBU yelled. "Stop hiding and come out, you coward."
"And what if I give you ten thousand ryo?"
Now that really shocked everyone.
"W-What?" The ANBU asked.
"That guy is clearly insane." Utakata replied.
"Ah, that's not a nice thing to say." The voice responded sadly. "Still, how about it? Ten thousand ryo and I stay hidden!"
"No."
"No?" The voice was really surprised. "Okay, twenty thousand! Can you refuse that?"
"You can't buy us, you scum!" The ANBU yelled angrily. "Yuta!"
"I-I can't sense him, sir…" Another ANBU said weakly.
"Tch. Stop hiding and come out!"
"What?! Twenty thousand is not enough for you?!" The voice exclaimed in surprise. "Damn, what a greedy man… Okay, here is my last offer! Thirty thousand! That's right, you heard it! Thirty thousand ryo and I stay hidden! What do you say?"
"Do you take us for fools?!" The ANBU screamed in rage. "Show your ugly face and we'll show you what a real shinobi of Kirigakure is capable o…"
SLASH.
"O… ff…"
Everyone watched in shock how one blond man jumped down right in front of the ANBU captain and sliced him vertically in two similar halves.
"Should've taken the money." The blond man said, standing up and shaking blood from his sword.
"T-Taicho!"
"Hishouken! Reitou! Touga Hyojin!"
Utakata and Hotaru only had the time to blink before all ANBU were defeated with frightening ease.
"I offered you thirty thousand ryo, and you refused! So here is your super prize! A one-way ticket to hell! Hahahahaha!" The blond man said mockingly, finally turning to the pair. "And here we come to round two…"
"Who are you?" Utakata asked dangerously, standing protectively in front of Hotaru.
"Who am I?" The man raised an eyebrow. "Tell you what. I'll give you ten thousand ryo and…"
"Cut the crap!" Utakata all but yelled. "Just tell me one thing, are you here for me…?" He glanced over his shoulder. "Or for her?"
The blond man snorted at this. "I don't even know who she is."
"I see…" Utakata's eyes narrowed. "Hotaru, I want you to run back to the house and wait for me. I will be coming shortly…"
"He won't." The blond replied with a malicious grin, clicking his katana open.
"U-Utakata-sensei…"
"Don't argue, RUN!"
"You can chill out, pal." The blond man spoke calmly. "I don't really care about your girl, so she might as well watch me kicking your useless ass."
Utakata glared at him. "Am I supposed to just believe your word?"
"Why not?"
"It's pretty hard, knowing your reputation… Jin Kisaragi."
"Huh?" Jin raised an eyebrow. "So you do know me after all… Wait, then why the hell did you ask?!"
"I wanted to make sure." Utakata stated. "I never met you face to face after all. Though your ice techniques were a dead giveaway."
"Aww, you ruined all the fun." Naruto made a pouting face. "Still, if you distrust me so much, how about a bargain? You come with me willingly, and I'll promise not to harm you… Hotaru, right?"
"H-Hai…"
"That's a nice girl." Naruto grinned. "And with a nice rack even. So? How about it?"
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I have a history with fake promises." Utakata stated, taking his… weapon. "So my answer is no."
"Tsk, a shame." Naruto exclaimed. "What the hell is that thing by the way?"
"You're about to find out!"
Now to Utakata's credit, Naruto never faced an opponent with a weapon like his. So the blond got serious immediately, taking a battle stance, and even activating his Sharingan… Only to be disappointed for the second time.
Instead of some super move Naruto was expecting, Utakata took his… weapon in his mouth and then… several bubbles came out of it.
"Eh?" Naruto tilted his head to the side. "That's it?!"
"Just wait and see!"
And Naruto waited. He was just too curious about what these bubbles could actually do… And then one of them enveloped his head.
And Naruto waited some more… But nope. The bubble was clearly supposed to hold until he runs out of breath. Rolling his eyes in disappointment, Naruto simply raised one finger and pocked the bubble, making it pop."
"W-What?!" Utakata replied in shock. "My bubbles can't be destroyed that easily!"
"Tsk…" Jin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Sorry to disappoint you…" He raised his finger and created a small whirlwind on top of it. "But have you ever heard of chakra manipulation?"
"Tch." Utakata hissed. "I'm not done yet! You haven't seen…"
"I have." Naruto said in disdain. "Ever since I landed my eyes on you, you were a complete disappointment. I've had enough." His eyes shifted. "Bansho Ten'in!"
"Gah!" Utakata's eyes widened in surprise when his body was suddenly pulled forward… right into Naruto's outstretched hand.
"Game over." The blond stated, grabbing his target by the throat. "Raiton: Dendou Haji!" (Lightning release: Electric Hold)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The black haired jinchuriki screamed in pain as many jolts of electricity ran through his body.
"UTAKATA-SENSEI!" Hotaru screamed in horror.
"Done." Naruto said calmly after Utakata's body went limp in his hand. "Really should've taken the girl… Though who knows, she could've been an even bigger disappointment." With that he turned to walk away, but…
"Wait!" Hotaru screamed. "Please let him go!"
The blond snorted. "Of course! I can't refuse when you ask so nicely!" He said with a kind smile.
"R-Really?!" The girl asked hopefully.
Naruto's smile fell. "No." With that he turned to walk away again, but…
"Suiton: Mizurappa!" Hotaru gathered her resolve and used the only jutsu known to her… with no effect whatsoever.
Wait, scratch that. Actually there was some effect…
"What the fuck?!" Naruto looked down at his soaked clothes. "Why the hell did you do that for?! Now I'm all wet!" At this he turned around sharply, making Hotaru stumble and fall on her back.
"Tch." The blond threw Utakata on the ground and walked to her slowly. "Why do you care about that useless piece of shit anyway?"
"H-He's not useless!" Hotaru tried to argue.
"Yes, he is." Naruto stated. "For he lived all his life just to be a sacrifice for my cause. You know why?! Because he's weak."
"N-No, he's n-not…" The girl said, less confidently this time.
"If he's not weak, then how come I defeated him in less than a minute?"
Hotaru's eyes widened.
"What did you want from him?"
"I…" She looked down. "I wanted to learn from him, so I… So I can regain my clan's glory."
"Your clan?" Naruto said, raising an eyebrow. "What clan?"
"The Tsuchigumo clan."
"Never heard of it." The blond stated. "How many of them are still alive?"
"J-Just me…"
Jin snorted again. "One person doesn't count for a clan. Is that why you want to become a shinobi?"
"H-Hai."
"And you also know what a shinobi is, right?" Naruto asked with a smirk.
"I… Well…"
"I'll give you a hint." Naruto pointed at disemboweled bodies of Kirigakure's ANBU. "See that? That's what a shinobi does. Imagine thirty more bodies, and you'll get what a good shinobi does. Are you okay with that?"
Hotaru paused. "I… Yes. I will not discard my grandfather's legacy."
The blond tilted his head to the side. "Legacy?"
"Hai." With that Hotaru turned around and started to pull down her dress.
"Hey, wait a sec… oh." Naruto finally understood what this was about after seeing girl's back. "And what exactly is that?"
"That is my clan's kinjutsu." Hotaru stated, turning back. "It's what made them famous… and also destroyed them."
"And you want to use it to regain your clan's fame, right?"
"Yes."
"Hmm…" Naruto thought for a moment. "Well if that's true, then you clearly don't need this piece of trash to be your master." He said, pointing at Utakata over his shoulder.
"But… But who else would be willing to teach me?"
Naruto grinned. "I know just the person. Call it a sign of good will." He said, picking Utakata's body from the ground and extending his hand. "Here, take my hand, and I will help you fulfill your dream."
Hotaru slowly reached for Naruto's hand and next moment all three of them disappeared in a flash of yellow.
Konohagakure no sato. Interrogation room…
"Now isn't this great?!" Suigetsu said sarcastically. "I knew following that Uchiha idiot was a bad idea, but never to this extent." He looked over his shoulder at Karin, who was tied to a chair just like he was. "What do you think?"
Silence.
"Yeah, I thought so."
"Indeed." One heavily scarred man replied, walking into the light. "Care to share your thoughts?"
Suigetsu paused. "Umm… no?"
The man pulled out a scalpel. "Bad choice."
"Oh, wait, wait, wait!" The white haired teen yelled. "No need for that, man, I was only joking!"
"Oh really?"
"Y-Yeah, I'll tell you everything you need to know."
"Is that so?" The scarred man walked closer. "And how do I know you're telling the truth?"
"Simple, I have no reason to lie." Suigetsu said with a shrug.
"We'll see about that." The man removed his scalpel. "Now start talking.
"Uh okay… I'd love to do your Hokage in the ass." The teen snorted. "What do you want me to say?!"
"What really happened to Orochimaru." Man's eyes narrowed. "And what was the purpose of your little group."
"Orochimaru?" Suigetsu laughed. "That motherfucker finally got what he deserved. I don't know the details. You'd better ask Karin here about that, but I doubt she will be able to answer you."
"Oi." The interrogator slapped Karin across her face. "Answer the question."
Silence.
"Hey, chill out man." Suigetsu spoke. "She was almost killed by Kisaragi, who she fears more than death itself."
"Kisaragi?" Man's eyebrows rose at the name. "What does he have to do with your lot?"
"Du-uh." The teen mocked. "Well… Ibiki, right? Well, Ibiki, that was actually the whole purpose of our group."
Ibiki's jaw clenched. "Go on."
"Not really much to go on." Suigetsu shrugged. "Uchiha wanted to take Kisaragi down, so he brought us as a backup. A shitload of difference it made, I'll tell ya…"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that it was a really bad idea, just like I told Sasuke in the beginning." Suigetsu stated. "That asshole is not only tough, but he's also the dirtiest player there is. You must have a death wish to go after him."
"What happened during your fight?" Ibiki asked.
"Nothing much. We threw all we had at him, and bastard shrugged it off like it was nothing." The white haired teen began. "Even when Sasuke did that lightning crap… I saw it with my own eyes, man! A giant beast made out of lightning! I'm telling ya, if it were anyone else, there would've been a pile of ashes in their place. But that son of a bitch Kisaragi just raised his damn hand and WHAM! The beast is gone! Asshole's unbeatable, period."
"He is not." Ibiki stated with a glare. "What happened next?"
"Nothing much. He was about to end Sasuke when Hinata came to save the day. Man, she's hot! If not for her ice cold personality…"
"Indeed." Ibiki held a pause. "Fine, I've heard everything I needed… unless you have something else to add. It could save your life. Literally."
"Well, there is one…" Suigetsu grinned. "I hope Kisaragi gets stabbed in the ass soon."
"Hm… Maybe there is hope for you after all…"
Konoha hospital…
"Is this it?"
"Yes, right this way, Tsubaki-sama." One of the ANBU said, opening the door in front of her.
"Thank you, eagle-san." The girl smiled at him warmly.
"It is a pleasure, milady."
"Well…" Tsubaki closed the door and turned to room's single occupant. "It's been a while, hasn't it Sasuke?"
Said person looked at her briefly, and then averted his gaze again.
"Aren't you going to say anything to me?" The red head asked, walking closer.
"What do you expect me to say?" Sasuke muttered quietly.
"Well…" Tsubaki began, sitting on his bed. "How about you tell me how your vengeance plan progressed so far?"
The raven haired teen turned to her sharply in anger. "Can't you see it for yourself?! Isn't it obvious?"
Tsubaki just stared at him curiously.
"Alright, I failed!" He snapped. "There! Was that what you were expecting to hear?!"
"Yes, actually." The girl stated, smiling kindly. "For you would've done the biggest mistake in your life if you succeeded."
Now that really confused Sasuke. "What are you talking about? What mistake?"
"Sasuke…" Tsubaki sighed. "Jin… Naruto never killed your clan."
"Lies! I was there! I saw him! I…"
"You saw him do what exactly?" Tsubaki interrupted.
"My mother's body!" Sasuke snapped. "I saw him standing over my mother's dead body! And then… Then he…"
"Attacked you?"
"Yes."
"Then why didn't he kill you as well?"
"I…" Sasuke paused in thought. "I don't know."
"I see…" Tsubaki looked up, also deep in thought. "Remember that day? Three years ago in the valley?"
"How could I forget." Sasuke hissed through gritted teeth. "That day he killed my brother."
"True." Tsubaki nodded. "But have you ever asked yourself a question why? Why did he do that?"
"Hell if I know. Perhaps he wanted to finish the job he started all those years ago."
"Perhaps. But answer this then…" Tsubaki stared Sasuke straight in the eyes. "If he was alive all this time, why didn't he come back? Why did your brother stay in hiding and joined a criminal organization?"
Sasuke's eyes widened. "I… I guess I was just too consumed by anger to think something like that."
The red head sighed at this. "Look, Sasuke. What I'm about to tell you might put me in prison. It will be very hard to believe, especially for you. But believe me when I say it's the truth." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Naruto really didn't kill your clan… it was your brother Uchiha Itachi."
"W-What?!" The Uchiha stuttered in shock. "I don't believe you, it's a lie!"
"I'm sorry, but it's not." Tsubaki shook her head slowly. "Your clan, the Uchiha clan, planned to take over the village. That's why the village elders and the man named Danzou sent your brother to annihilate every single one of them… except for you." She stated, shocking Sasuke even more. "Yes, Itachi asked for you to be spared if he were to commit the deed."
"Itachi… killed our parents…?"
"Yes…"
"Gh… Gh!" Sasuke clenched his fists in anger, but then… his eyes shot wide open again. "Wait, you said elders and Danzou? Aren't they dead?"
"Yes." Tsubaki nodded. "And Itachi is dead as well. Can you see it now?"
"No way…" Sasuke whispered. "There is just no way… Naruto is… avenging my clan?!"
"Yes."
"But wait! Orochimaru should've known this! Why didn't he tell me about…?"
"Because he wanted your body, Sasuke." Tsubaki interrupted. "If you knew the truth, then you wouldn't have come after Jin, thus you wouldn't have come to Orochimaru to gain power."
"I… Yes, that sounds logical…" Sasuke stared into space. "But if that's true, then… What do I have left…?"
Tsubaki smiled kindly at him. "Remember your dream, Sasuke? What was it back then?"
"To resurrect my clan and…" His eyes widened.
"Realized it, haven't you?" Girl's smile widened. "You don't need to kill anyone anymore. So how about you return to resurrecting your clan?"
"Well, I… But wait, I betrayed the village! Your father will surely have me executed, or at least thrown in prison."
"Not if I can help it. Daddy can't refuse if I ask really nice." Tsubaki beamed. "And technically you never really hurt anyone, just left the village without authorization."
"You…" Sasuke stared at her for a while and… chuckled. "You just keep doing it… Just like then in the valley."
"Yup! I'm just too awesome! Besides…" Her look softened. "We were friends once, Sasuke… I'd like for that to happen again."
"I… The Uchiha smiled back." I'd like that too."
Hokage's office…
"Come in." Minato muttered, not stopping writing some document.
"Hyuga Hinata reporting."
"Oh." That made the Hokage to actually throw a quick glance at the newcomers, namely Hinata and Kakashi. "Good to have both of you back. How was your mission?"
Hinata looked at Kakashi, who nodded his head, motioning for her to continue.
The girl sighed. "The mission was a success, Hokage-sama. We managed to capture Uchiha Sasuke and his subordinates. All but one…"
"Indeed…" Minato replied, still writing in his scroll. "Nice job, guys. To tell the truth, I actually expected you to fail… No offence of course."
"None taken, sensei." Kakashi spoke.
"And what about the one you haven't captured?"
"He was already killed when we arrived…" Hinata paused, gathering her resolve before continuing. "Killed by your son."
"I see. Not really unexpected since…" Pen fell from Yondaime's fingers. "What did you just say?"
"She said that your son has killed the last member of Sasuke's team." Kakashi stated. "He says hello by the way."
Minato slowly moved his hand under the table and grabbed the hilt of one of his kunais. That of course did not go unnoticed by both jounins.
"I beg your pardon, but I don't remember having a son."
"Well, I guess that means someone must've recreated your signature technique." The masked jounin said, already preparing for the worst outcome.
Hokage's eyebrows rose at this. "You mean he actually used Hiraishin in front of all of you?"
"That he did." Hinata nodded.
Minato took a deep breath and after a long pause pulled out his kunai and laid it on the desk.
"Come on in and shut the door."
Kakashi released the breath he was holding and did just that. 'I hope the storm has passed by…'
"How many of you saw it?" Minato suddenly asked.
"All of us, Hokage-sama." Hinata stated.
"Damn him…" Yondaime cursed, hitting the desk with his fist.
"Sensei, I…" Kakashi paused. "Excuse me for my boldness, but judging by your reaction, you knew about your relation for a while."
"That I did…" Minato muttered… pulling out a bottle of sake. "Want some?"
"No, thank you." Kakashi shook his head.
"I do." Hinata replied, sitting down to masked jounin's surprise.
"What? But you're underage…" He started to speak, but…
"Shut up." Minato and Hinata said at the same time.
"Oh…"
"Tell me what happened." The Hokage asked, filling up two glasses.
"Well, we were running through the forest, already believing our efforts to be futile." The Hyuga heiress began, downing the first glass. "When we suddenly caught the sight of Uchiha Sasuke's jutsu…"
"What jutsu?"
"Some lightning beast…"
"Right, continue."
Hinata nodded her head. "When we finally arrived, Jin was one second away from ending Sasuke's life. But since our orders were to bring him back alive, I told Shikamaru to stop Jin with his shadow possession jutsu."
"I see…" Minato gulped down his sake. "And what happened next?"
"Nothing much." Hinata did the same. "He said to tell hello to his father and used Hiraishin to escape."
Silence…
"Hokage-sama?"
"Yes?"
"Is… Is Jin really your son?"
Yondaime took a deep breath. "That he is…" He stated, filling up another round of sake. "My son… Naruto…"
"Naruto?!" Kakashi's eyes widened. "As in Uzumaki Na… Uzumaki! How didn't I notice it before! But if he's really your son, then why…?"
"Why did I throw him away you mean?" Minato asked back with a sad smile on his face. "It's easy. All because I was an idiot." Then the smile fell. "I believed some scroll, a stupid piece of paper…"
"What do you mean, Hokage-sama?" Hinata wondered.
"The Uzumaki scroll!" Minato snapped, resting his forehead in his hand. "The Kyuubi attack…" He sighed. "I knew my options were limited, and it's actually good that there are so few seal masters in the village. Otherwise they would've called me on my bluff."
"Bluff."
"Oh, indeed… For sealing Kyuubi on my own would've required me to forfeit my life." Yondaime explained. "There was another way however. A double seal made by two people. But that should've also split Kyuubi's chakra and personality in two. Light and dark part… Or at least that's what the scroll said. I had my doubts at first, but Kushina said it's true and I believed. I've been thinking long and hard that… that perhaps I've made a mistake. I should've checked everything several times, but the Kyuubi was tearing the village apart, I had no time…"
"Wait a minute, sensei." Kakashi interrupted. "A double seal means that it must be performed on two people. Does that mean…?"
Minato snorted. "I thought it was obvious. Yes, the second part of Kyuubi was sealed in Tsubaki."
Hinata's eyebrows rose. 'That's where that power comes from.'
"If that's true, then why did you hide her jinchuriki status?"
"So she could escape Naruto's fate…"
"Then why didn't you spare Naruto the same fate?"
Silence…
"I… I guess it's just…"
CRASH.
"Ho, drinking at work already? You're getting old, Minato."
Yondaime slowly moved his gaze at his just broken window, and then just as slowly returned it back to his just arrived sensei.
"Subtle as always, Jiraiya-sensei…" Minato muttered, filling up glasses again. "Want some?"
"Sure… But what's with the mood?"
"Oh, nothing." Yondaime waved his hand. "Just telling these two about my son…"
"I see…" Sannin's eyes widened. "Wait, WHAT?!"
"Yep, he used Hiraishin right in front of them."
"Ah, that explains it." Jiraiya said, downing his sake. "But you really should drop the subject, kids. Nothing good will come out of talking about him. Besides, I have information for you, Minato."
"What about?" Minato muttered, not really interested.
"It's the location of Akatsuki leader… And their main base." The sannin stated.
"What?" Minato put his still filled glass down. "You know where he is?"
"Not really know, but I have a very good lead… And I'm about to check it."
"Where?"
"Amegakure…"
Kirigakure no sato. Mizukage's office…
"Jin-kun!"
"Oh no, you don't!" The blond exclaimed, hiding from the overjoyed Mizukage behind Hotaru's small frame.
"What is this?" Mei tilted her head to the side. "Ah, I see! You want to have a threesome!"
"No, I don't!" Naruto snapped. "Well, actually I do… Bah, stop tempting me!" He walked from behind the confused girl. "Anyway, this is Hotaru. And she wants you to train her."
"And you brought her all this way, Jin-kun?" Mei squealed. "My, you're so sweet! I just wanna fuck you to death."
Hotaru blushed crimson at the choice of Mei's words.
"No…" Naruto paused. "Maybe later. Will you take her?"
All Mei's playfulness went to hell immediately. "What an interesting question… Tell me girl, do you have any ninja training?"
"I… Not really…" Hotaru muttered shyly. "But I know how to stand on water, and also know one water type ninjutsu."
Mei raised an eyebrow. "Really? Which one?"
"Umm… Suiton: Mizurappa."
"Yeah, that's true." Jin nodded. "You can see that by my still wet clothes."
"Wait…" Mei looked Hotaru straight in the eyes and pointed at Jin. "You got him with that jutsu?"
"W-Well yes…"
'Oh boy…' Naruto thought, expecting Mei to do anything…
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Mizukage laughed madly, falling in her chair.
…Anything but that…
"That alone would've made me to accept you for training." The woman stated, trying to catch her breath. "Knowing Jin-kun though it just can't be the case. So, what's your story, kid?"
"Well, I…"
"Hold on a second!" Naruto interrupted Hotaru's explanation. "I'll leave you girls to chat, but…"
"You sure you want to leave?" Mei said, grinning lecherously.
"Stop seducing me, woman!" Naruto snapped at her again. "Anyway, I'll leave you two to chat, but I must ask you something first, Mei… Can I leave this piece of crap here for a while?" He asked, pointing at Utakata's unmoving body that was occupying his shoulder throughout the entire conversation.
"Ah, Rokubi. You've already got him I see…"
"Yeah. Also killed one of your squads, sorry."
"Nah, they're expendable." Mei waved him off. "Sure, lay him down in that corner and… Wait, are you sure he won't wake up?"
"Sure as hell."
"Good, I don't want him to stain my carpets."
Naruto snorted at that. "You'll never change…"
Kirigakure no sato. Smithy…
"Hello, Yoshi."
"GAH!" One middle aged man jumped in surprise, clutching his heart. "Rattlesnake! Will you stop doing that?!"
Naruto grinned evilly. "When I have such reaction from you every time?! No fucking way…"
"I thought so." The smith sighed sadly. "So, you're here for that I assume?"
"You assume right." The blond nodded his head. "And it will be for your own good if it's already…"
"Done and done." Yoshi finished for him. "Did it about a week ago actually." The smith picked some object wrapped in bandages and handed it to Naruto. "A perfect copy… Still don't know why you need it though. It lacks every unique ability of the original. Just a flashy sword."
"Which is exactly what I need." Naruto stated, grinning like a madman. "Call it my… Trojan horse."
"Really?" Yoshi raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"
"I'll have to kill you if you learn that."
"Then forget I ever asked."
"Wise choice. See you around, Yoshi." Naruto said, leaving the building. 'Okay, one down, one to go.' With that thought he closed his eyes and concentrated on his mental connection. 'Oi, Tayuya!'
'The hell you want, shithead?' A very annoyed voice sounded in his head.
'I just wanted to ask where you are, my sweet lovely princess!'
'Fuck you, asshole.' The red head responded. 'And if you really need to know, I'm already in Takigakure. And the jinchuriki was already in my reach when you…'
'Ah, you haven't got her yet!' Jin interrupted. 'Good, good. See ya soon!'
'Wait! What are you…!' Tayuya tried to ask, but Naruto already severed the link… Only to create another one.
'Forgive me, oh lord, for I have sinned!'
'What do you want, Kisaragi?' A very, very, very annoyed voice of Pain responded. Yeah, if Tayuya was at least happy to hear him, Pain was definitely not.
'Nothing much, boss! I just wanted to ask where do you want this piece of trash you sent me after.'
'You already captured him?' Pain asked in surprise. 'I hate to say it, but impressive work. Return in Amegakure, I have… another task for you.'
'Great, he bought it.' Naruto thought, severing the link. "Okay, stop number two…"
Three days later. Amegakure no sato…
"Whew! That took a while!" Naruto exclaimed happily, jumping from massive statue's finger. "Thank god there are only two more left."
"You are welcome." Pain replied, walking from behind. "Don't go anywhere, Kisaragi. Meet me in the courtyard for your next task."
"Of course, Kami-sama!" Naruto bowed mockingly.
'I hate him…' The leader concluded, gritting his teeth. 'At least I won't have to tolerate him any longer.' He thought walking away.
"I thought we agreed to let him do all the work." A sudden voice caught him in a corridor.
"Madara." Pain said lowly. "He did everything I needed him to do."
"And what about Hachibi?" The masked man asked.
"If I have to choose between capturing two jinchurikis instead of one and tolerating Kisaragi for another hour, I choose the former."
"Suite yourself." Madara shrugged. "Just don't mess up."
Pain's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't forget who you're talking to. Let me remind you that I have never lost a single battle."
"Everything happens for the first time."
"Not with a god." Pain stated confidently. "You…" Suddenly his eyebrows rose.
"What?"
"Someone has disturbed my rain's fall…" Pain stated. "And judging from their chakra, it's someone powerful."
With Naruto…
"Hmhmhmhmhm…" Naruto chuckled darkly, waiting for his so-called task. 'Does this idiot really think I'm that stupid?! Bah, no matter. All pieces are in place, and it's finally time to enter phase two. Now I only have to…'
BLAST.
"The hell?!" The blond asked in confusion, turning his head just in time to see a sudden explosion. "I wonder what that was…"
Not wasting any time Naruto rushed up towards the explosion area, and when he arrived… his eyebrows rose in surprise.
'Are you kidding me?! Himself?!' He thought, looking down at the lone figure standing on top of the water. 'I never expected him to be so bold and…' Suddenly he noticed another detail…
That lone figure was facing Pain's bodies… all six of them.
'Oh… OH! This is perfect! Now I don't even need to draw them all out!' He grinned evilly. "I thank you, Jiraiya of the sannin…"
Meanwhile said sannin was not fairing very well.
"Kiddo, your arm!" A frog on his left shoulder yelled.
"I noticed…" Jiraiya grunted back.
"Jiraiya-sensei." One of Pain's bodies spoke highly. "It's time for you to witness the six paths of Pain."
"Or maybe not."
"Wha…?" Pain turned his head…
"Touga Hyojin!"
…Only to come face to face with a massive wave of ice.
Despite being caught off guard, three of six bodies actually managed to evade the attack. The other three… well, didn't.
"Aww, that's a shame." The intruder said, walking out from a shadow. "I really wanted to get all six of you."
Jiraiya's eyebrows rose. "Jin…?"
"Kisaragi." Pain growled dangerously, noticing that Naraka path was caught in the attack. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Hmhmhmhmhm. Oh, don't give me that, god-man!" Naruto mocked in response. "I'm just doing the exact thing you wanted to do to me."
"I see." Despite having three bodies left, Pain still looked as arrogant as before. "It doesn't matter. It's time to show you both the power of a true god!"
"Sure thing, but first." Jin glanced over his shoulder. "Oi, Jiraiya. Get the hell out of here."
"W-What?" The sannin replied. "Don't be stupid, Jin! He's too strong, you need my…"
"The last thing I need is your help." The blond interrupted. "Besides, in your current state you will only be a burden."
"Tch." Jiraiya spat. "I can fight with one hand just as well!"
"No, just as bad." Jin corrected with a smirk. "Now go. I don't want Tsubaki to lose her favorite sensei."
"What are you…?"
"I said get the fuck out of here!" Naruto snapped. "And tell Tsubaki I love her. Go!"
"Naruto…"
"GO DAMN IT!"
"Tch, fine. I will wait for you at the border." Jiraiya said, jumping away.
"Bad decision." Pain commented. "You should've let him stay, even if just as a distraction. Now you have no chance to survive."
"You know…" Jin began, closing his eyes in amusement. "It always entertained me how you thought yourself to be a god just because of your fucking eyes. For if that's true…" He opened his eyes slowly to Pain's shock. "…Then I'm as much of a god as you are!"
"You!" The Akatsuki leader snapped in anger. "How can you have these eyes?!"
"It was not unexpected." Madara countered, appearing out of nowhere. "I suspected you had Senju genes in you. It was just a matter of time."
"Oh, how nice of you to greet us with your presence, oh great one!" Naruto bowed mockingly. "You're too late though. Pain-chan already lost Naraka path, which means he can't resurrect his bodies anymore. And that means he doesn't have much time left… And neither do you." He grinned evilly. "All bijus will finally be mine!"
"Don't get too cocky, boy." Madara spoke. "You might be strong for your age, but you still have a long way to go… Had, until you foolishly decided to betray us."
"Betray you?! Aha… Ahahahahahaha!" The blond laughed. "I was never on your side to begin with, idiot! I only used you to achieve my own goals, and now…" He drew his sword. "Now I don't really need you two anymore. So, I guess it's time to take out the trash!" With that he teleported right between three Pain's bodies in a flash of yellow and… "Shinra Tensei!"
Two of said bodies got immediately thrown backwards. But the last one was not so lucky. You see, behind him was a very think wall… Yeah, the impact probably broke all bones in his body, which was clearly incompatible with life.
"This is just too easy!" Naruto exclaimed confidently. "If that's all you got, then I won't even have to use any of my special moves!"
"You're getting too excited." Madara exclaimed, suddenly appearing right in front of Jin.
"Oh shi…" The blond said, just before he was slammed into the same wall Pain's body just went through.
"You forget that the two of us have much more experience."
"Perhaps." Jin grinned, getting up to his feet. "But I'm much better looking!" With that he rushed straight at Madara, running the Uchiha right through with his sword. Literally… For the sword went through without leaving even a single scratch.
"The hell?!"
"Foolish boy." Madara shook his head. "Did you think that I will be brought down that easily?"
"Actually yeah, I did." Naruto stated, raising his free left hand. "But I always have a backup plan in case I was wrong! Shinra Tensei!"
Now that worked even despite Madara's strange power, throwing the masked man backwards with tremendous force.
"Nice flight!"
"KISARAGI!"
"Wha… GAH!" Naruto gasped in pain, after getting stabbed in the shoulder with some iron stick. "Son of a bitch!"
"I was waiting for far too long to rid this world off your presence!" Pain yelled. "Bansho Ten'in!"
"WOAH!" The blond exclaimed as he was suddenly pulled towards his opponent. "Oh fuck!"
"Die." Pain said happily, pulling out another iron stick and preparing to stab Naruto through the heart, but then…
"Got ya!" Naruto suddenly disappeared in midair in a flash of yellow and reappeared… right behind Pain. "Abayo!"
"Get real." Came from the side, just as Naruto was thrown away yet again, receiving a crushing kick from Madara.
"Tch, fucking assholes…" Naruto hissed, slowly picking himself up.
"Give up, Kisaragi." Pain said arrogantly. "You took out my bodies by surprise, there is no way you can take me on in an open fight."
"Especially if there are two of us." Madara added, crossing his arms.
"Heh…" Naruto smirked, pulling out a piece of iron from his shoulder. "Gh, damn that hurts… But if you think I'll give up that easily, you're sadly mistaken!" He said confidently. "I don't care if there are two, three or twenty three! I'll still beat your asses and…"
"Bad choice."
Perhaps even Rikudo Sennin's second coming wouldn't have shocked the onlookers more than…
SLASH.
(Starting song: "Cometh the hour" by Shiro Sagisu)
"Wha…?" Jin slowly looked down with wide eyes… to see a sword blade sticking out of his stomach. "Who…?" He glanced over his shoulder, only for his eyes widened even more. "No… Can't be…"
"I told you, you'll end up regretting, Jin…"
"T-Tayuya… Why…?" Naruto whispered.
"I wonder." Madara muttered under his nose.
"Why?" Tayuya shook her head. "Your plan was a complete idiocy, Jin. Not only that, it was a complete suicide. And though I sometimes enjoy mindless carnage, the destruction of the world doesn't sit well with me." She stated, twisting her blade.
"GAH!" Naruto gasped, spitting blood on the ground.
"So that's what he wanted." Pain said in amusement. "Destroy the world just for the sake of it?"
"Yes." Tayuya nodded. "He thought that the world hurt him, so he decided to strike back with the power of the biju."
"Foolishness." Madara exclaimed. "Still, it turned out for the best. Now we can extract Kyuubi from him and not bother with Konoha."
"Guah." Jin spat some more blood, but then, despite his condition, managed to put a grin on his face. "Damn, I guess I've failed, a shame…"
"No, you can't." Tayuya responded, twisting the blade again. "He placed a failsafe on his seal in case you decide to betray him. If we try to extract Kyuubi the Mazo will just blow up, killing all of us in the process."
"And how do you know that?" Pain asked.
"I was the only one he trusted." Tayuya said. "He believed I would remain by his side no matter what…" She glanced down at her sword. "Obviously he was wrong. I was the only one who knew his plans, his limits… and the fact of his healing factor being disabled. This is why he's faring so bad."
"Tayuya… you bitch!" Naruto yelled in anger between coughing and spitting blood.
"Nothing personal, Jin." The girl shrugged. "I just happen to enjoy this life, unlike you."
"How curious." Madara stated. "So, what is it that you truly want, Tayuya?"
"Well, I think that this…" She pointed at her position. "Proves that I'm not in the same boat with him. I joined Akatsuki because of my own believes and hope that I've proven myself worthy and loyal."
"That you did." Madara began. "I believe you are worthy enough. As for loyalty… I think I need some more motivation." He looked at Naruto. "Finish him."
"T-Tayuya…?" Jin replied weakly, looking over his shoulder again. "You won't do it… you can't…"
The girl smiled at him sweetly. "As I said, nothing personal." Suddenly five huge fireballs appeared around the two of them. "Ja ne!" The red head sang, sommersaulting backwards.
Naruto's eyes widened in horror. "NO!"
"Deruta Endo!"
BLAST.
"Well done, girl." Pain spoke. "With that you've truly became one of us."
"Thanks." Tayuya nodded. "I won't let you down. By the way, I brought the Nanabi jinchuriki with me."
"Hmhmhm…" Madara chuckled. "What a fine conclusion to a long day."
Deep in their joy, neither of them noticed another pair of eyes observing everything from afar.
"Cannot be…" Jiraiya whispered, shocked to the core by what he just saw. "It just… cannot be…"
...
Unexpected, ne? Happy New Year, everyone!
Fuck like hell and sleep well!
Darthemius.
