Chapter Twenty-Eight

"I don't think I can do this." Hikaru whispered, his hand grasping tightly at Haruhi's as the car pulled to a stop before the temple.

"I'll be with you every step of the way." She promised, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. This particular day would not be easy for anyone but no one would feel Kaoru's absence as deeply as Hikaru. Together from the moment of conception, Hikaru had never truly learned how to live on his own. "He gave us a beautiful day, didn't he?" She asked, gazing out the window at the beautiful sunlight covering the temple gates.

"He would show off." Hikaru huffed, his voice rough from the tears he was holding back.

A lithe smile crossed over her lips, her hand squeezing his once more. "Are you ready? He's waiting for you." Haruhi knew this day was going to be difficult for all of them. Officially saying goodbye to Kaoru would break them all but none as deeply as Hikaru. She had been spending every moment she could since Kaoru's death coming up with the perfect goodbye but none of the words that came to mind seemed to fit properly.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready for this…"

"Did you think of what you wanted to say to him?" Haruhi asked.

"I think I've got it… You guys will go first though… right?" He asked, anxiety dripping from him as he scooted closer and closer to where Haruhi was sitting. He gathered his strength to leave the back of the town car and head to say goodbye.

Haruhi nodded gently, reassuring her friend as a man and woman walked past the door of the town car. "Your parents are here. They have Kaoru with them." She could see the delicately polished silver urn in his mother's hands. The real funeral service had taken place two days before. Today they would add his remains to the grave sight and say their goodbyes.

"We need to go now." Hikaru whispered, gently pressing a hand to her shoulder, urging her to exit the car and follow after his parents. If he didn't leave now he doubted h would ever find the strength to actually leave.

Opening the back door to the town car, Haruhi slowly climbed out. She smoothed her hands over her black dress before reaching back in the door towards Hikaru. "I'll be right here. The whole time." She promised as Hikaru took her hand gently into his.

Glancing ahead and up the path, Haruhi could see the rest of the Host Club dressed in dark black suits, the melancholy hanging in the air around them. As they walked hand in hand towards their final goodbye, Haruhi vowed to stay by Hikaru's side until he didn't need her anymore. She would be the crutch for him that the entire Host Club had been for her when her father had passed away. Falling into step beside the Host Club, Haruhi gave them all a sad smile. Tamaki's arm wound it's way around her waist comfortably and the group walked step by step towards Kaoru's grave.

Hikaru released her hand and stepped up to where his parents were waiting, standing between them as his mother placed Kaoru's ashes into the grave and lit some incense. The remaining Hitachiin's whispered in hushed tones to each other and to Kaoru in their goodbyes, words that Haruhi could not make sense of as she stood behind them and watched their sorrow. It was heartbreaking to see parents burying their children and even worse to watch the way Hikaru's body seemed to be doubling over into himself. With each passing moment he was losing another piece of himself.

Finally, Yuzuha turned to face Haruhi, closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around the small girl. No words needed to be spoken as Hikaru's mother held the girl tightly to her chest. She had lost one of her children and the silent embrace was a quiet thanks for what had been given back to them. "Make him happy again," Yuzuha whispered into Haruhi's ear, placing a soft kiss against the small girl's cheek.

For a long moment Haruhi stood still as stone, watching as Hikaru's parents bid their farewells to the rest of the boys. It wasn't until Hikaru's shoulders lurched under the pressure of his sorrow that Haruhi began to move. She closed the distance between them, grasping his hand and leaning gently into his shoulder.

"Hey Kaoru…" She whispered, feeling the boy stiffen beside her. "I thought I knew exactly what I was going to say to you today… but standing here now it all just seems so… trivial." She sighed, feeling Hikaru's grip upon her hand tightening. "I wanted to tell you how I missed you and how nothing was ever going to be the same again now that you're gone. I wanted to thank you for saving me when my world fell apart and for always treating me like a toy to make me laugh and make me feel included. I wanted to remind you that you broke me from the prison I had created for myself."

Haruhi took a shaking breath, her heartache only growing. "But none of that feels right now…. Instead of telling you all the things you probably already know I think I need to make you some promises. I promise to help model clothes for your mother. I promise to keep Tamaki in check and to moderate his crazy plans. I promise to indulge Honey and his sweet tooth. I promise to try and get Kyoya's memories back. But most importantly, I promise I'll protect Hikaru. I promise he will never feel alone. And I promise we will visit you all the time. So don't worry about us, Kaoru. We're going to be okay. We love you."

Gently she used the back of her hand to wipe the tears that had started falling away from her eyes, giving an uneasy nudge to Tamaki who stood beside her.

He didn't need more than that. Taking a deep breath, Tamaki began his own goodbyes. "I don't know what I'll do now that you're gone. We had the home team advantage against mother. Any time I needed back up I knew the two of you would be on my side. It will be different without you here but I know you'll watch over us every step of the way. You will always be part of the Host Club Kaoru… We will never forget you and we'll never replace you."

"I'll miss you, Kaoru… But don't worry! I'll eat your share of cakes every day and I'll make sure to help Hikaru play pranks on everyone." Honey promised.

"We will make sure he's always protected." Mori agreed.

"We will visit all the time. We will tell you all the things you miss." Kyoya vowed.

Silence spread over them. No one dared to speak again until Hikaru got his turn. Lightly Haruhi ran her hands gently over Hikaru's arm, urging him to go on, silently reminding him that they were all there for him.

"Kaoru…" Hikaru whispered. "I… I miss you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't… I didn't mean for this to happen." Haruhi squeezed his hand gently trying to give him her strength. "I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was in control… I took everything from you. But I promise I'll make it up to you. I promise to be better and stronger and to do all the things you can't do. I'll visit all the time. I'm sorry… I'm so sorry." Collapsing down to his knees, Hikaru let out all of the emotions he had held inside. "I'm sorry Kaoru."

Slowly lowering herself down to her knees, Haruhi wrapped her arms around Hikaru and held him tightly. "He loves you, Hikaru." She whispered. "He forgives you. I know he does." Running her hand gently over his back to comfort him, Haruhi glanced at the slowly burning incense. "Goodbye Kaoru."

"Goodbye Kaoru." The rest of the Host Club said in unison.

Hikaru took a shaking breath, glancing at Haruhi who nodded reassuringly. "Goodbye Kaoru." He breathed.

Author's / Note: Short but bitter sweet. There's only two more chapters left. I hope this one hit you in the feels as hard as it hit me.

Trishatuckanowa: I firmly believe that Haruhi does love Tamaki but a part of her loves Kyoya, too. And right now isn't the right time. I wouldn't want to darken a confession of love by saying it out of heartache, either. She's waiting for the right time to choose who she wants to spend her life with. Next chapter she'll choose though ;D

DarkBloodyWerewolf: So I've already chosen who she's going to end up with and funny story? Kyoya actually helped me chose! This weekend I went to a convention and got to meet J Michael Tatum (the voice behind kyoya) and I asked him who he thought she should end up with… And he told me. So that's how I finally made my choice! :D

Izzyboopers: There are two more chapters. Technically one and the last will be an epilogue. Enjoy! I did start writing another Ouran story so as to not disappoint you all too much. It's called "It Starts With Goodbye" and I hope you all will like it as much as you've seemed to like this one!