The amusement park had been a lot of fun. Loki had cast notice-me-not spells on the whole group to allow them to walk around visible but seem unremarkable to the people around them. (Tony had whined, but Loki offered to turn him into a poodle instead, and dogs couldn't go on rides.) They'd ridden rides and stuffed themselves on funnel cake and kettle corn. Loki had stealthily taken photos of Steve perching awkwardly atop a carousel horse. Ercpod was half-asleep in a sugar coma induced by five jumbo blue raspberry slushies and clinging to Loki's back, a neon green stuffed tiger won as a prize dangling from one hand, as Loki watched his boyfriend try to coax Bruce into a hypothetical discussion about how much faster a nearby roller coaster could go before flying off the tracks. Clint was seated at the counter of one of the shooting games, collecting a mountain of tickets and eyeing the massive stuffed dog sitting atop the booth's roof. Steve was coaching some kid at how to play one of the games.
Loki idly changed the color of a passer-by's t-shirt, wondering how long it would take the girl to notice. Maybe he should have made it clash worse? Nah. He'd leave it be. He spotted a little boy staring at a stuffed animal with longing and made the toy wave at him. The boy's eyes widened and he began tugging at his mother's pantleg, begging to play the game and win the toy. Ah, children. He resettled Ercpod on his back, making a note to give his son some drawing paper when they got home—his claws must be bursting with neon blue slushie after practically drinking his weight in them. Or he could suggest that Steve's white undershirts needed tie-dying. That would also be a good way to burn off some of that food coloring. Or Tony's white living room furniture, but then Tony would sulk and a sulking boyfriend was not conducive to getting laid. Decisions, decisions. For now, he was much too relaxed for any major chaos.
Which of course jinxed it all.
How the park employee actually managed to hit Bruce with a mallet wasn't entirely clear, but he did. He was walking by carrying a theatrically large wooden mallet for the test-your-strength game— perhaps the one they were using had broken or something— and then some teenager abusing the motor scooter that their broken ankle had gotten them use of for the day had come tearing through like a maniac, forcing people to all but dive out of the way, and somehow in the process Bruce had gotten clocked in the ear with the mallet. Which of course didn't lead to anything good. Sheer luck had created more chaos than the god of mischief himself could be arsed to do the majority of the time.
Not that Loki blamed Bruce/the "Other Guy" one bit for his reaction. He'd done plenty of magic-less hand-to-hand combat and hits to the ear hurt. Bruce probably hadn't even seen it coming; he had been facing away from the walkway and everything had happened rather fast.
But now there was a Hulk running around the amusement park and three of the six members of their group weren't supposed to be there.
Tony and Steve were dodging his wildly swinging fists, trying to talk him down. Even with the notice-me-not spells, they were being noticed now. Loki changed his, Ercpod's, and Clint's appearances for good measure, hoping to keep them off the radar, and dragged the both of them behind a booth.
"Nothing you can do they're not already doing. And you're not supposed to be here." He reminded the archer.
"So we hide?"
"No, you keep your head down and I pretend to do the same while working some magic to calm him." Another crash made them jump. "I changed our appearances, if you didn't notice. Try to look like a scared tourist."
A piece of wood flew by them, and both men instinctively pushed Ercpod behind them. Loki concentrated on his magical core, keeping his posture that of a frightened tourist protecting his child while pushing calming urges at the Hulk. The Hulk slowed in his smashing of booths, then stopped, growling and breathing hard, but calmer. Ok. Good. Just a little more. There. Bruce was regaining control and starting to shrink down again. Loki conjured a sweater under Tony's jacket and exchanged a Look with Clint. This was only phase one of the mess.
Tony couldn't find his boyfriend in the crowd, but he felt a sweater pop into existence neatly between his shirt and jacket and mentally applauded Loki's quick thinking as he removed the jacket to bundle his friend into it. It served the dual purpose of providing Bruce something to put on without the magic being visible and letting Tony know that Loki was nearby and watching but staying out of sight. He would have changed his appearance, and probably Ercpod and Clint as well since they weren't supposed to be there either. Undoubtedly they were together and laying low.
"C'mon guys. Too much excitement for one day. Let's go." He shooed Bruce and Steve toward the exit, waving off the shell-shocked park employees. "Have somebody send me the bill."
"What about—?" Steve asked quietly as they got out of earshot of the crowd.
"They can take care of themselves. Disguised, watching, and smart enough to stay clear until whatever debriefing SHIELD wants to do is over and my house is secure again."
"Do they know what we're doing?"
Tony shot him a half smirk. "I wasn't wearing this sweater five minutes ago."
"O…kaay…? Oh!" Steve got it. "Yeah. You're right."
"SHIELD is going to want to debrief them. We'll have to lay low." Clint pointed out.
Loki nodded and started picking his way through the mess. "I need to get out to the barn and work my horse, anyway." He checked that the notice-me-not spells were still in place and lowered his voice for good measure. "I estimate we have half an hour to get home, change, and disappear. When we get out into the parking lot in among all the cars, I'll teleport us."
"I'm going with you?"
"Do you have another plan?"
Well, he'd been meaning to look into this riding lessons claim anyway. Why not. "Nope. I'm down with meeting your horse."
"Hi Sandra. Brought company today." Loki waved as they passed the ring. "The instructor here." He explained to Clint. "More patient with Tony than I probably would be." Clint snickered. "Really. She's a saint." They reached Fen's paddock and Loki whistled, conjuring a carrot in his pocket to coax the stubborn stallion to actually come over when called. "And my horse, Hrafn. Hey trouble." He rubbed Fen's face with his knuckles as the horse plucked the carrot from his hand. "Missed this guy when we were apart."
Clint gave him an incredulous look that said he'd guessed what Loki wasn't saying. "Did you really—?"
Loki smirked. "Heist of the century." He looked down at Ercpod. "Want to ride him back to the barn, squirt?" Ercpod nodded enthusiastically. "Okay, up you go." He gave his son a boost onto Fen's back. "Hang on tight to his mane, and let me know if you feel like you're slipping."
"I'd ask where Tony is, but the kids tell me that the internet is blowing up with the news of some incident at an amusement park involving half the Avengers." Sandra remarked as she clipped Finch into the next set of crossties down from Fen, sounding half curious and half exasperated.
"Jeez, already?" Clint groaned, glancing up from his painstaking combing of the stallion's mane. (Loki's horse really was gorgeous and fitting for a prince, much as he hated to admit that he'd been wrong about the barn being a cover story.)
Sandra took another look at him. "You're one of them, aren't you? You didn't tell me you were friends with all of the Avengers, Luke."
"We don't know each other all that well yet." Loki brushed it off lightly. "I was around because, well, Tony's my boyfriend and all, Clint came by to visit, the butler told us there'd been an incident and SHIELD would be keeping Tony and the other guys that had been involved tied up in official stuff all afternoon, we said screw it we don't want to sit around for that."
Clint nodded, content to go along with the modified version of events. "If they actually need the team they know how to reach me, but for now, I'm still on vacation." He patiently extracted the hood of his sweatshirt from Fen's mouth. It figured Loki's horse would be a troublemaker too. "Tagging along here seemed more fun. I like animals. Used to work in a circus. And I can entertain the kid if he gets bored watching his dad ride."
Ercpod waved cheerfully, still in his human disguise. Loki smiled fondly. "My son Eric. I try to keep him away from those government guys; wouldn't want him getting it in his head to become a politician or anything like that." He quipped.
Sandra laughed at that. "Nice to meet you, kiddo. Is your dad trying to turn you into a stunt rider like him?"
"Nope."
Loki shook his head in confirmation. "He likes art and science, and I am totally supportive of both."
I need to figure out how this story will end, because it's getting hard to keep my head in this 'verse. It's just...too far behind the state of the MCU at this point, I think. And my head is much more in my stucky fic in progress.
