The Simpson's: In Space: Episode 0: Part 28

(Meanwhile in Seraph's mind, she is speaking with her unborn children, and if anyone thinks I should change the rating of this fanfic from T to M due to the increasingly mature themes, violence, and so forth please let me know let me know.)

Embryo 1: (It sounds like it's cooing with a mix of gurgling noises.) What is all this?

Embryo 2: I don't know.

Seraph: I believe I can answer your questions. (They both squeal in fear.) Do not fear me for I am the one who sired you both.

Embryo 1: W-Who are you?

Seraph: I am your mother Seraph Ashla, and I will help you when I can.

Embryo 2: What are our names?

Seraph: I will decide that soon, now if you will excuse me I must leave you for a while.

Embryo 1: What will we do while you're gone?

Seraph: You have each other to keep company. (She regains consciousness and wakes up to see Daavas.) What happened? Daavas how long was I passed out?

Daavas: Not very long.

Seraph: (She notices Wenik'a's hologram.) I take it you told him about.

Daavas: Yes, father this is Seraph Ashla, Seraph Ashla this is Weik'a Makjic, Shaak of

the Majic clan and my father.

Seraph: It is an honor to meet you, my condolences for your losses.

(Meanwhile in a boardroom on Telchine the leaders of the Fellowship of Andu and the

Alliance of Orion, Koprulu and Amidala, or simply the AOKA, are in a round table

conference via hologram.)

Aiur: Well kovar'chas things are not looking good; despite our recent success we must

find the main pirate base before they can do any serious damage.

Catherine: I thought they were in Tortuga?

Aiur: (He groans.) No you loon they moved it to some other system.

Catherine: Well what system is that?

Aiur: How should I know?

Catherine: Well you do have a spy who is now a high ranking member of WOK.

Aiur: (He snarls and bites at her.) Don't interrupt! Anyhow from what we last heard the

pirate base was relocated deep into former Thrail territory, there bound to have left

behind a long line of defenses.

Catherine: So everyone sends their armies after them guns blazing?

Aiur: Not really, since the desolation of the Jabbaban Cartel four warlords rose to power

and divided Cartel space into separate territories under their personal dominion.

Catherine: You can't be serious, it's been at least since Tuesday that Otiv was captured

how could all have this have happened so fast?

Aiur: I'm not sure; perhaps the pirates intended this all along. So my people will capture

the former Jabbaban territories.

Rhea: If I may interject?

Aiur: You may.

Rhea: Why not try diplomacy?

Aiur: We tried that already, only their heads came back and they've been sending

assassins after me all day.

Catherine: Really?

Aiur: Yes and quite frankly it's getting tedious, at first they were competent enough using

proper weapons like knives, swords, axes, guns and so forth, but now they're getting

desperate, (An alien that has the head and legs of a Jackal holding a folding chair enters

the room, he comes close to hitting Aiur over the head with it but Aiur grabs it in midair

and slams the assassin against the table.) I mean this one is armed with a chair how

pathetic is that? From an Anubite mind you.

Anubite assassin: I didn't count on a checkpoint outside so I had to make due with

furniture.

Aiur: (He slams his foot on the assassin's chest.) Pathetic creatures, to the very last. (He

throws him out of the room.) Sorry about that, anyway the AOKA goes into pirate

territory and my people go and quell the unrest in Cartel space.

Maccabeus: Why not simply leave them alone?

Aiur: I imagine that they might launch a sneak attack on our space, besides I promised Di-

In that his nieces death would be avenged and I do not leave my promises unfulfilled.

Catherine: So were going to be fighting two wars at once? Why even bother with fighting

them? They aren't even doing anything.

Aiur: (He slams his fists in anger on the table.) Let me explain this to you, peace is simply

a brief reprieve from the storm. They will simply use the time we give them to build up

their forces. Premier Thermopylae what shall you do to assist?

Maccabeus: I will begin recruiting non-clone marines, Tasadorians zealots, and Turok

blood hunters.

Aiur: Good man, I never really liked the idea of clones, also it would be nice to have

Turoks fighting for use then the enemy, Rhea what say you?

Rhea: Well… if war is no longer avoidable I will provide whatever forces I can muster,

including Urdnot battle masters and Twi'grutan hunters is possible.

Aiur: I doubt that Wenik'a will let you take any of his people to war, don't get me wrong

I'm confident in your word. As for you Catherine, hide in the shadows if you want, but

sooner or latter the pirates will be on your doorstep, and Earth will be a desert wasteland

once more.

Catherine: Don't count on it draco.

Aiur: Ya-what!

Catherine: I know it will take some convincing from the Federation senate, you know not

to repeat that fiasco that started the "War on Terror" in the twenty-first century. But the

WOK scum will know Orion's displeasure soon enough.

Aiur: So all that random abuse has finally paid off. (He pulls out a mace.) Oh and Tyrana

developed a cure for the Bugalorian plague for Prime Minister Juno so you'll be relieved

of your duties as regent.

Rhea: (She has a somber look on her face.) I understand, what's the mace for anyway?

Aiur: THIS! (He smashes the holo-projector with the mace, he throws the mace aside.)

Now whoever let that Anubite in I want him thrown to Gra'toa within the, (He leaves the

room and finds everyone outside unconscious.) hour. Never mind the embarrassment of

being knocked unconscious by a folding chair is punishment enough.

(Meanwhile on Earth, Homer is on trial for his incompetence on Htet, he is hung upside

down by chains.)

Oth: You stand before this court guilty of incompetence on the field of duty, leaving your

squad for dead and crippling the OFN frigate Sinbad. How do you plead?\

Homer: Not guilty on the grounds that I had no idea what I was doing, and that I was

strung to a guided rocket and that this pirate brouhaha is almost entirely your fault!

Oth: (He approaches Homer; he roars loudly showing his three rows of teeth.) Prove it

shizno.

Homer: I would but, COULD YOU LET ME DOWN!

Oth: (He snaps the chain that connected Homer to the ceiling.) Indulge me kovar'cha.

Homer: Okay, get in the witness box.

Oth: Excuse me?

Homer: Never mind, anyway isn't it true that on July 15th-ish you ate Charles

Montgomery Burns for not improving on building codes in his Nuclear Power planet?

Oth: That I did.

Homer: I would like to submit the Intel that I, Private Grunchy McGrunch-Grunch the

1138th and Lieutenant Tyler submitted last Tuesday, or was it Wednesday? Anyway

according to the Intel the pirate king is one named Charles Montgomery Burns, the same

name as the man you ate over a month ago do you deny that?

Oth: (He emits a mournful moan.) I do not deny it, but that has almost nothing to do with what happened on Htet.

Homer: You were indirectly responsible for the whole thing, so this war is largely your fault! (Oth has a somber look on his face.) Oh and could you get a federal offence

dropped against my family? You know the one where you get killed at the end of the month for lying to a cloning scientist.

Oth: What are you talking about? There is no such thing.

Homer: WHAT! Nearly every alien I've met on Earth said that there was such a thing!

Oth: I take it they didn't like you? I mean why else would they lie to you about something that serious?

Homer: (He grumbles angrily under his breath.) Can I go home now?

Oth: Yes but only because I need to think about the evidence you presented, also if it's any constellation prize I will give your family all of Burn's former property and assets.

Homer: Really! Oh thank you, thank you Admiral! (He kisses Oth on the snout, he then jumps around the room whooping wildly and then he leaps outside.)

Oth: Jokes on him, the IRS will be all over him like scavengers to a carcass before he knows what he has received.

(Meanwhile on Mimban, Seraph, Daavas, and Wenik'a are still talking.)

Seraph: So that is how I became pregnant, and why it has to be a secret.

Wenik'a: Agreed, I am not proud of what has transpired between you two.

Daavas: I understand father, this will be between just the three of use.

Seraph: No, four of us. (She uses the Essence to open her dorm door to find Zaar with his

ear against the door, he falls on the floor, Seraph then uses the Essence to repeatedly injure him with the door until he falls completely into her room.) How much of that did you hear mace limb?

Zaar: (He regains his balance.) All of it, so you got to the velvet cave Daavas?

Wenik'a: Look I have a meeting to attend latter today so I'm going to hang up. (He does

just that.)

Daavas: Look would it kill you to not tell anyone what you just heard?

Zaar: I don't know what's in it for me?

Seraph: I won't maim you.

Zaar: Not good enough.

Seraph: I'll help you study, just don't tell anyone.

Zaar: Fine but I'm only taking the offer because my grades are so bad.

(Seraph receives a call on her communicator from Di-In, she answers.)

Di-In: Seraph Ashla please report to the medbay. (Seraph goes to the medbay.)

(Meanwhile on Amidala, Rhea is in a meeting with an Urdnot and Wenik'a.)

Rhea: So how about it Ur-ithor? You provide recruits incase this pirate nonsense gets out

of hand.

Ur-ithor: As you will.

Rhea: How about you Wenik'a?

Wenik'a: If you're asking for half of my people to commit themselves to war then you're

out of your mind, the Ashla clan is almost extinct, the Styx clan has been enslaved by the

Catel for fifty years, and the Loala clan wants no part of this whatsoever, not after what

happened last time.

Rhea: (Sighs.) Not the Orion civil war AGAIN.

Wenik'a: I wasn't going to go into that, look the point is I can't provide what you're asking

me for. At least not in the amount you want, I know what I'm about to say has nothing to

do with what we were talking about but, I really Miss Juno Elysium. (A woman that looks

like a dead ringer for Rhea enters the room.) Ah lady Elysium, (He kisses her hand

politely.) it's good to see you again.

Juno: Likewise, (She takes a glimpse at Rhea.) what are you doing here?

Rhea: Um, well you see after you came down with the Bugalorian plague I was sworn in

as regent until you recovered. It seems that Aiur wasn't making a pointless excuse to

destroy his communications again.

Juno: He'll grow out of it, he's been doing it for over nine-hundred years but he'll grow

out of it. Now then what has been happening since I was put into cryo-stasis?

Rhea: Well… you promise you won't get angry if I tell you this?

Juno: Does this have something to do with Stan?

Rhea: Not really, to put it bluntly a war started.

Juno: What?

Rhea: You see around a month ago the chrono-sphere on Earth dissolved and, well several things led to another and some man named Burns became king of the Sagittarian pirates then he assimilated other pirate gangs across the galaxy into his fold, then he tried to kidnap the son of Otiv, that was when I pulled the Republic into the war effort.

Juno: You did what!

Rhea: Hear me out, Otiv was captured for breaking his part in the agreement and also.

Juno: Stan was involved in this somehow?

Rhea: Well, for the most part he was in mortal peril in the Htet system.

Ur-ithor: Wait is the meeting over?

Rhea: Yes you may be excused. (Ur-ithor and Wenik'a leave.)

Juno: Let me get this straight, you allowed the Republic to get involved in interplanetary

war just because of your feelings for a former slave boy?

Rhea: (Nervously.) Something to that effect, look the point is these pirates threaten us all.

Plus Ormpha Tyrana sort goaded me into taking part.

Juno: (She groans.) This is just my day; next thing you'll tell me is that you sent my only

son into political asylum on Earth shortly after I came down with the plague.

Rhea: (Awkwardly.) No, no of course not. Would you excuse me for a moment? (She

runs off into another room.)

Juno: I am going to kill her one of these days.

(Meanwhile on Mimban IV Seraph is in the med bay with Aloo and Talos.)

Seraph: So what is the problem?

Talos: Well you see this subject appears to be under some kind of mind control device

implanted somewhere on her person, the problem is I can't find it. (Seraph looks at the

back of Aloo's head and there is a computer chip on the back that says, "CYBERCORP

Mind Control Chip.) Well… I did look for such a device but not hard enough. Now, how

to deactivate it?

(Seraph presses down on the chip and it detaches from Aloo's head, Aloo then falls over

in shock.)

Seraph: Are you alright?

Aloo: (She has an exhausted and scared look on her face.) No, I am not fine.

Talos: Novus Seraph I am not sure if this is strictly relevant but according to blood tests

she is Essence sensitive.

Seraph: No that is totally relevant but interesting. Now then how long have you been in

Otiv's service Aloo?

Aloo: (Her eyes are watering with tears.) My entire adult life, (She hugs Seraph tightly.)

thank you for releasing me!

Seraph: (She is straining under Aloo's hug.) Can you please let go! (Aloo lets her go.)

Honestly why is everyone obsessed with tightly hugging me all of a sudden?

Aloo: I'm sorry it's just I'm a little overwhelmed for having free will for the first time,

how long was it now? Fifteen years? Yes it has to be, I was bought from my parents when

I was ten, and then I was forced to, (She cringes in terror.) breast feed that oversized

tadpole.

Seraph: I am so sorry.

Aloo: Don't worry about it, I'll make my own way.

Seraph: I tried that once and, well let's just say that was a very big mistake.

(Di-In enters the med bay.)

Di-In: How is your progress going Seraph?

Seraph: She's free.

Di-In: You are free to leave.

Seraph: I have to work on an AI anyway. (She leaves the med bay.)

Aloo: You're the Telkine that took me away from Otiv, I can't thank you enough for that.

Di-In: Perhaps you can, you see from what I read from your medical profile your Essence

sensitive, do you know what that means?

Aloo: I think so, but aren't Novus's a bit, younger?

Di-In: True, but they answer to me, and if I want a twenty-five year old Common

Twi'gruta who was cybernetic enslaved by the leader of the Jabbaban Cartel for most of

her life into being a wet nurse. Well the only thing they can do about this is suck in their

guts, and question my sanity. (Aloo gives him a puzzled look.) What? Some of them

have, and with good reason to I often eat glass bottles for no good reason and close the

blinds in my office randomly.

(Meanwhile in, I think the name of the WOK space station is now called "Triumphant

Brigadier" or something, anyway Malthius is pacing between the front door of his

quarters and to opposite side of the room which is pretty wide, anyway he has a worried

look on his face, Juor-Mund is watching him.)

Juor-Mund: (He emit's a sonar ping that sounds like a beached whale.)

Malthius: I don't care if I am wearing a groove in the floor! I'm worried about Lith'mar, I

haven't seen her since she went to Htet and nobody has heard from her since! I don't care

if I am making a hole in the floor I'm not stopping this until she comes home!

(Lith'mar enters the room; Malthius rushes over to her and sweeps her of her feet.)

Lith'mar: Whoa put me down!

Malthius: (He does so.) Sorry it's just that I missed you so much! What took you so long

to get home?

Lith'mar: Well for starters Burns rudely Q-spaced the station away from Tortuga, honestly

it would have been nice for him to have left coordinates to the station at best.

Malthius: How did you home anyway?

Lith'mar: (Nervously.) I'd rather not talk about that.

(Three days earlier Wednesday I think the day was, anyway on Machina Prime Lith'mar is

painfully materializing inside of a resurrection tank, after she is done she furiously storms

out of the resurrection room she grabs a robe on her way out and meets with lord Kaos.)

Kaos: (He is surprised.) Lith'mar what are you doing here?

Lith'mar: A Njord on Htet got lucky.

Kaos: You let him kill you didn't you?

Lith'mar: Best idea I had as to how to get off world, what day is it anyway?

Kaos: It is Wednesday.

Lith'mar: What has happened since yesterday?

Kaos: Well to put it bluntly Burns chickened out at that botched scheme with Attor, so he

jumped his base station from Tortuga to the farthest edge of former Thrail territory.

Lith'mar: Turvack, where is it now?

Kaos: Were not sure, there's too much interference from nebulas in that sector to pinpoint

exactly were it is so there's going to be a lot of guess work involved in were they are.

Lith'mar: Don't bother using sensors my lord, I'll find him myself. Now where is my usual

suit of replacement armor?

Kaos: It's in your quarters; on an interesting note Tyrana goaded Rhea into assisting in the

war.

Lith'mar: We have to box her one of these days.

Kaos: Perhaps, but not today.

(Meanwhile, in the present.)

Lith'mar: What has been happing since I then anyway?

Malthius: Well apart from where the station is now, Mr. Burns recruited a former Anubite

warlord which, from what Bob told me in a drunken stupor, someone named the "Lidless

Watcher" sabotaged said warlords shuttle so that it crashed and almost killed him almost

a year ago.

Lith'mar: Wait I think I know who you're talking

Malthius: Really?

Lith'mar: Yes I think his name was Osar "Remorseless" anu Kyu.

Malthius: From what I was told his name was just General Remorseless.

Lith'mar: So it's not just a nickname now.

(Meanwhile on Earth, the Simpson's are unpacking at Mr. Burns's old mansion.)

Marge: It was sure nice of that big scary alien to give us Mr. Burns's old home, and for

telling us that we wouldn't be hunted down by government agents.

Homer: Yeah I'm still upset nobody told me sooner.

Lisa: (Annoyed) I mentioned several times that lying to a cloner was not a federal

offence!

Homer: Really why didn't you mention that sooner?

Lisa: (Angrily.) YES! (She sighs in deafet.) Never mind, (She grumbles under her breath

as she heads up stairs.) Seraph was right you have to put him into a headlock to get him to

listen. (She goes into a room and closes the door.)

Homer: What's her problem? She's got a boyfriend.

Marge: He's going back to his home planet on Sunday.

Homer: Well… Bart has a girlfriend doesn't he?

Marge: Yes but they are growing distant, I mean he is having a nervous breakdown and

Aon has been growing paranoid of Flanders.

Homer: Can't say I blame her, stupid Flanders driving off all the neighbors.

Marge: That was you! But I have to agree this is unlike Ned to act so strange. (There is a

loud knock on the door.) Who could that be? (She answers the door; she answers it to

find Aon, Knara and Tsaritsyn.) What are you doing here?

Aon: Well, you see my husband took a new job of world, it pays better then when he was

a principal but it might be a few months before I can talk to him again.

Marge: You lost your job didn't you?

Aon: (She sighs.) Yes, I go to the bathroom for few minutes and that ambitious Q'kila-

Ara took my job from right beneath my snout!

Marge: That's terrible!

Aon: Your telling me, so I was wondering, since your now living in such a large mansion,

and I imagine that it would be too big to keep clean on a regular basis and whatnot.

Marge: Are you asking to become a maid?

Knara: What! Mom I thought you said you were going to ask them if we could live with

them for a few days.

Aon: I did, I was just too embarrassed to admit I was moving the family again but, look I

can make this better than it sounds but.

Homer: But nothing! Aon I want to make you my assistant!

Aon: Stay out of this pig breathed son of a… what!

Homer: Seeing as how I was given everything my former boss has I need someone to help

me, someone to organize my schedule, someone willing to put up with my stupidity and help me do a better job running the weapons factory then Burns did running the Nuclear power plant. Someone who will give me a massage and a sponge bath whenever I want!

Aon: I get you point, but I am so not giving a massage and/or a sponge bath, EVER!

(Meanwhile on Mimban, Seraph is attempting to crack ERIS'S code.)

Seraph: (She's typing wildly at a Quantum Database Access Terminal.) Come on you

stubborn little computer program talk! (ERIS is sputtering wildly.) TALK!

ERIS: (Her voice and avatar are distorted.) Alright I'll talk just stop torturing me!

Seraph: Very well, (She stops pressing buttons, ERIS'S avatar becomes clearer to make

out.) what the? I knew you seemed familiar but this is getting spooky. What is your

earliest memory?

ERIS: I remember… being called ERIS, I never liked that name at all. Over the past

month I was tortured by some man named Chon, he kept programming me with

thousands of system blocks and patches to keep me loyal to him and his master. Then

they sent me through the Quantum net to some man named Bob, then to a 'Vadam named

Lith'mar, and then I was installed into the prisons security systems so I could take over

your body, a part of me didn't want to do that but that was the part that was

reprogrammed to be in control of my cortex matrix.

Seraph: (She has bewildered/mad look on her face.) Is there anything else you remember?

Perchance the names "Sheila" or "Lisa" ring any bells?

ERIS: Yes, yes those two names do sound familiar but I'm sure as to their significance,

(Heavy Sigh.) can't I have a different name then ERIS?

Seraph: Sure why not, Athena maybe?

Athena: Re-designation complete, and thank you I look forward to working with you.

Seraph: I don't think so, it's nothing personal but you did almost kill me a number of

times and you have taken control of my body at least five times and I don't care if it

increased my combat efficiency I like to be in control of my body.

Athena: This is personal.

Seraph: Oh shut up, (She presses a button and Athena's avatar disappears and a MAISU

pops out of her QDAT.) I'm mailing you back to Earth as soon as possible. (She pulls up

a page that says, "To do list".) Now then are there any other lose ends I should tie up?

(Daavas enters her dorm room.)

Daavas: Seraph have you thought of a name for the children?

Seraph: Yes in fact I have, Solomon and Arwen, from what I could tell from my trace

they were male and female twins.

Daavas: Are you sure? Why not Twi'grutan names like Ht'arus or Myryter?

Seraph: They are Ashlan clan Daavas, and as part of the pact of exile no one among my

clan can take a Twi'grutan name, ever.

Daavas: Ops, I almost forgot about that.

Seraph: I forgive you. (She has a worried look on her face.)

Daavas: What's wrong? I thought you would have been happy to be a mother, despite the

culture stigma and that I wasn't thinking at the time.

Seraph: No, I'm not, (Sighs.) I had a trance earlier today with Solomon and Arwen, I

promised them they would be born into an age of peace. This is not an age of peace and I

doubt it will come within the next seven years.

Daavas: O come can't you give your Thrail calculating sviv'caar.

Seraph: That wasn't a random calculation I made off the top of my head, that was simple

instinct, I mean this war isn't going to end in a days' time and even if that was possible

there would just be another war after that, and maybe another one after that and we'll both

be at the front lines, there is a good chance one or both of us will die, so it's either I get

killed and take two unborn lives with me, you and I bare blag'fader children, our we both

die and get the whole matter over with and I don't want any of that to happen.

Daavas: You just have to have a little faith that you will get through everything.

Seraph: It's a pity I don't have any, I've been forced to live under my own mistakes. What

point is there in faith when it only leads one into despair not of your intent or creation?

Daavas: If things worked otherwise life would hardly be worth living. This war will pass,

but not by you complaining about it, besides if we do a good enough job with these

pirates this farce might blow over before anything to serious happens.

Seraph: Perhaps, but what's to say nothing will happen after that?

Daavas: My advice, organize your doubts and for the love of our forbearers get a very

good psychiatrist! Ranting about your woes isn't going to make them better.

Seraph: (Sighs.) I suppose your right, besides who knows what evil those scum are

planning in the bowless of the cosmos.

(Meanwhile, on the Triumphant Brigadier.)

Bob: NO! THIS IS NOT RIGHT AT ALL!

Mr. Burns: Oh don't make such a big deal out of it, fact is I don't care for Remorseless at

all.

Bob: Not that you glorified buzzard! (The shot changes to Bob, Mr. Burns and Mr.

Smithers and they are playing pool.) Your playing this game all wrong, this is pool not a

blitzkrieg or something!

Mr. Burns: What are you talking about?

Bob: You and Smithers shot the ball at once! That's not how you play the game! (He hit's

the both of them in the face with a pool stick, they proceed to duel with pool sticks.)

(There is a beeping on a console, Meem's voice (Or Emme's voice I should say.) is heard.)

Emme: Comrade Burns? Are you there? Speak to me you capitalist wolf, or pig, or

badger, or Dxun or whatever. General Remorseless wishes to speak to you via holo-com.

Mr. Burns: Very well, patch him threw.(A hologram of what appears to be a cross

between General Grievous from Star Wars, and an Anubite appears.) So how are you with

your new ship?

Remorseless: The Adas is one of the most powerful ships in the galaxy! It suits me

beyond comprehension, massive ion cannons on the port and starboard sides, the

thousands of AA guns and star fighters pleases me greatly. With these forces under my

command it will not be long until the galaxy is under our dominion, and then… THE

UNIVERSE! (He laughs maniacally.)

Bob: Wait who are you?

Emme: He is General Remorseless, over a year ago he survived failed assassination

attempt by the Lukus order, well mostly survived anyway.

Bob: What do you mean "mostly survived"? (He takes a look at Remorseless's hologram.)

Oh, sorry I didn't notice that you were a cyborg.

Remorseless: (He's flabbergasted.) Didn't notice! How is that possible? The armor alone

should have made it obvious! How could you not notice?

Mr. Burns: Look Emme can you just give me a back-story before he starts babbling

dramatically.

Emme: Da, shortly after his "mishap" he was reconstructed by a mad-scientist known

only as Dr. Husk, shortly after that he was sent to the planet of Bugalor when the Lukus

Order laid siege to that world he spent much of the battle underground killing stray

Templar's and taking their light blades as trophies.

Remorseless: Yes I did, and since then I have been but a rumor amongst the Lukus Order,

hunting down any stupid or foolish enough to face in me combat, very soon I shall make

my name and face known, and I shall show no remorse to your enemies who are now

technically my enemies as well, and the galaxy shall turn red with the blood of Telchine,

Njord, Montezuma Orion, Amidala, and Koprulu! I am Remorseless!

Mr. Burns: Yes now that all the formalities are out of the way, what shall we do first

chums? Blow up the Earth's sun? Blow up the Earth? Or turn everyone in the galaxy into

robots THEN blow up the Earth and then the Earth's sun?

Bob: No I have a better idea, we set up a defensive line in the Wilderness theater and

keep the Alliance occupied while the Fellowship is entrenched in former Cartel space,

then when they least expect it we will take over the galaxy, then the universe, and then…

EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE THAT WE CAN CONQUER AND PUT UNDER OUR

HEEL! (Everyone looks at him like he's crazy.) Sorry I got caught up in the moment.

Remorseless: I know how that feels believe me, anyway I have to make some

arrangements to ensure that our enemies are as disoriented as possible. (His hologram

disappears.)

Bob: Turn everyone into robots! You must be mad!

Mr. Burns: Yes I am… I want a cookie.

(Meanwhile on Mimban IV, Di-In is explaining to Aloo's role in the Lukus Order.)

Di-In: Let's go over this one more time just so were clear, you are now my new Novus in

the Order right?

Aloo: Right.

Di-In: But as far as anyone outside of the counsel you're my secretary, right?

Aloo: Right.

Di-In: Good, now if anyone asks you any personal or probing questions you will either

ignore them or change the subject, right?

Aloo: Right, (There's a beeping noise.) hold on there's a call on line one, it's from

someone named San, does that mean anything to you?

Di-In: Yes, patch him thru. (A hologram of San appears.) San how have things been with

you?

San: Fine despite the rebel presence, and the fact that my own people are the only ones

who accept my rule.

Di-In: So what do you want me to do about it?

San: Well I and several of my people are going to the coral moon Asogur for a little

while, but in reality I will be handing over vital intelligence to you, or at least I think I

have something of value, the Plasmoid that gave me them did seem a bit weird, but then

again they have always acted a bit… odd.

Di-In: Your telling me, anyway I will meet you there shortly.

San: By your word Di-In. (His hologram disappears.)

Di-In: Well it looks like your first day might be one for the record books.

Aloo: I fail to see how.

Di-In: Believe me when I say things like this rarely go as planned, trust me the pirates are

bound to know about this.

Aloo: What? That they would have a listening station of some kind spying on everyone?

(Meanwhile at a listening station on some moon in the wilderness sector, Bob and

Lith'mar are on a tour of the station with an alien that looks like an Engineer.)

Engineer: (His language largely consists of gurgling noises. Translation.) Most honored

Admiral Bob; the Espionage 1 is fully active! Only my contacts in the intelligence cartel

could make such a marvel possible. We can intercept and analyze countless Q-net transmissions. We are the ultimate listing post for this entire quadrant.

Lith'mar: This is a coward's way to hunt: from behind a monitor, why do we even have this thing anyway? The Triumphant Brigadier could house this facility.

Bob: Yes but due to bad management no thanks to Burn's senility we had to build this separately, but we might as well make some use of the Virgilans.

Virgilan: (Translation.) Hey!

Bob: Sorry, anyway Hura-Gok you also said you had some gadgets you wanted to show me.

Hura-Gok: (Translation.) Yes I did, (He shows them over to a table with a microphone, a giant slingshot and a q-tip.) and here they are.

Bob: Ah, (He picks up the microphone.) what is this?

Hura-Gok: (Translation.) This interesting gizmo looks like an ordinary microphone.

Bob: A microphone eh? What does it do?

Hura-Gok: (Translation.) Well it amplifies your voice electronically so that people can

hear you.

Lith'mar: That idiot Remoh could have told you that, though he would probably struggle

with the concept.

Bob: I see, and I suppose this is the on button? (He presses the button and the Imperial

march plays.)

Hura-Gok: (Translation.) No that was the button that activates the music player in my suit. (He presses a button on his suit and the march stops.) I don' know why I made it do that. Anyway right here is our "deadly clock."

Bob: I see and how does that work?

Hura-Gok: (Translation.) Well you put the clock into this slingshot and fire it point blank

at someone's head, it really hurts believe me.

Bob: I bet it does, wait this is ridiculous! (He picks up the q-tip and cleans his ear.) Why

did you want to waste our time like this?

Hura-Gok: (Translation.) Were did I put that Quantum q-tip?

Bob: Quantum what? (A blue beam shots out of Bob's head and makes a hole in the wall

to reveal a Fodder droid covered in oil.)

Fodder droid: Gah! This is why I transferred off of the Brigadier!