A/N: OK, this is a short one for me, but I hope you'll agree it's worth it. I had so much fun writing it and I hope you love it.

More kudos to my beta moxie mo, who encouraged me to give more life to CJ. I hope you like her. I sure as shit do. LOL.


Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris owns Eric and Sookie. I make them naked and give them fairy dog breeders and demon therapists.


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Chapter 28: Fucking and Fairies

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Sookie's POV

"Labrademon?"

I took a gulp of my Oreo blast and I looked from the soft pliable puppy in my lap to the brilliant white smile of the woman sitting across from me.

"Labrademon."

I put the cup down. I couldn't suppress a giggle and my hand flew to my mouth. First it was just a little coughed laugh but soon I was having what Gran would call a giggle fit, when anything anyone said just made me laugh harder. CJ quickly took the puppy away and tucked him into the crook of her arm expertly. When she went on about how they'd managed to breed a Cerberus-a demon dog-to a Labrador retriever, I clutched my stomach and fell face-first into the couch cushions. I held a hand out, pleading, begging for her to stop.

I sighed loud and long and laughed again, breathlessly. I managed to choke out, "You... You mean those three-headed dogs that guard the gates of hell? Those dogs?... Make that little pile of..." I couldn't even get the words out. My air whooshed out in a fit of hysterics. That's me. Lock me in a padded room. My life had finally, completely, gone off the rails.

When I calmed myself enough, I sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes. Lord, I couldn't remember the last time I had an honest to God belly laugh like that—maybe when Eric had told me about vampire kings and queens. That made me giggle again but I tried to swallow it down.

But then I thought of something and couldn't stop myself from doubling over again. "Where..." I wheezed... "Why don't they have three heads?"

CJ brought the puppy up to her face and nuzzled its soft head. It's little front paws flailed out in front of it as it tried to knead the air. Gran used to call it "making biscuits" when Tina did it. The pup flopped his head back and opened his mouth, trying to get CJ's nose in it. Yeah. That was going to be a problem.

But CJ ignored the risk. She kissed it and stroked its fat belly with her other hand and said, "Well, hell. We couldn't exactly sell dogs in this realm with three head, could we? We bred it out of 'em. Didn't we, baby?" She cooed at the dog and I was bewildered with her odd combination of grit and adoration. Add that to her blinding beauty and her down-home crassness and you had quite a combination.

But then her words sunk in and I sobered right up. "This realm? So you really are..."

"Part fae, sure as shit," she shrugged and continued to tickle the pup in her hands. "Three-fourths if you wanna be technical. Grandaddy fell for my Granny-who's human-but Daddy managed to find a full-blooded fairy to mate with and, voila! Seventy-five years ago, ya got me, all hell and damnation in a nappy." She laughed grinned at me. For the first time I noticed her ears weren't quite as rounded as mine.

That reminded me. I darted my eyes around, looking for Bonnie. I didn't think she knew anything about fairies, and I didn't want to explain it. A Were grandbaby was one thing. But I was enjoying being just another human in her eyes. At least for a little bit. I listened for her with my mind and found her out in the back by the kitchen door, talking to someone else. A man. A human man, it seemed, but he was thinking in Spanish, and I couldn't understand him.

I tried not to get too distracted. I focused back on the fairy in my house. You're alone with a fairy, my brain helpfully reminded me. For the first time. Since... I closed my eyes and shook my head. Nope. Nope. I refused to believe that all fairies were bloodthirsty killing machines just because the Things were. That would be like judging all humans by Rene. But try telling my body that. My heart was beating like I'd run a marathon.

"And don't you fuck with me; you are too," she said, not really a question. "I can feel the pull. You're what-quarter fairy?"

I shook my head. "An eighth."

She cocked her head and sighed softly, "Well, fuck me sideways." Then she looked back at the puppies and said, "We been breeding these little darlins for nigh on 300 years. Took a while to breed out the more unsavory of the Cerberus qualities-the hunger for live meat, the snakes for hair. That's what for we live in the middle of fuckin nowhere, too. 'Cause we didn't want none a them snake-heads gettin' out—that's what we called them 'fore we got that lil kink worked out."

She laughed as I shivered at the "live meat" part. I looked at the puppies and tried to imagine them with snake hair. I went cold.

She grinned at the puppy as it wiggled in her lap and drooled a little. Hard to believe this was the same little sweetie who'd nearly made Bobby lose control of his bladder. I reached out and carefully petted his belly too.

"And then we enhanced some of the traits of the Labrador. These little babies are big and lovable like yer usual labs. Easy to train, eager to please. They pass as being from this realm, and they're still just as energetic as your typical Labs. You'll need to take lots of walks, or at least play fetch."

She turned back to the pup and slapped his nose lightly when he tried to teeth on her.

"But fuck if we can breed the mouthiness out of these pups. Between the killer instinct of the Cerberus and the mouthiness of the Lab, we're fucked. Always gotta be bitin'. That's what for we got this ointment shit." She held out her flawless hand for my inspection. "You'd never know that I'd been a fuckin' chewtoy for these babies over the years." She shook her head and smiled at me. She seemed more relaxed now that she was talking about her dogs.

I picked a puppy up and flipped her onto her belly, her little legs flailing and the pink of her belly showing through the white fur there. I couldn't help it. I leaned down and nuzzled her belly. She had that new-puppy smell—stale milk and something sweet and powdery. I looked back up and smiled a small smile.

The puppy wiggled enough to bring his mouth near my hand and I moved it away quick as a flash. "And the teeth?"

She smiled. "Well that's one of the best parts," she said, picking up another pup from the crate and cradling it in her arms. "These little fellas have twice the strength as a normal dog, are fiercely loyal, and they can protect you from supernatural beings. They're great in water, which make them good for protection against water fae, if they're fuckin' with ya."

She gave me a pointed look and I looked away. I didn't want to think about that. "Your people ain't water fae, are they?"

My eyes widened and I shook my head, willing the tears to stay put. She grinned. "Yeah, us neither."

Then she got serious for a second and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Well, shit," she breathed. "Are you... You ain't the part-fairy what survived those fuckin killers Lochlan and Neave, are ya?"

I blinked rapidly, hoping the move would dry the tears before they fell. I looked at the puppy closely and nodded.

"Well ho-ly shit!" she bellowed, drawing out the last word into at least three syllables. She leaned forward and clapped me on the knee. Hard. This was a lady used to some rough-housing. "We got us some royalty here. You're Prince Niall's great-granddaughter! Well bless your goddamned heart! You sure as shit ain't water fae, then. No sir."

I shook my head again and tried to rise to her level of excitement. It just wasn't in me. It hurt, thinking about my great-grandfather, whom I'd never see again. Remembering the Things was no walk in the park, either.

The second slap she leveled on my knee shook me out of my brooding however.

"Well fuck me with a chainsaw," she grinned. "It's a goddang pleasure, Sookie. A mighty big honor."

Right. Because it's such a great honor to be tortured. I shook my head. I wasn't going to go there. I glanced at the clock and realized time was running short and I had an almost-full fairy in a house with a vampire who would be rising any minute.

Suddenly, you couldn't have kept the smile off my face with a crowbar.

"Ah, thanks," I said, and I could hear how off-putting my tone was, but I couldn't help it. "So Dr. Gumby thinks I need a guard dog? Is that it?" Did I need guarding? I thought the point was to get stronger on my own.

She smiled and I realized what I said. I started to explain, but she shook her head and laughed. She leaned in conspiratorially. "You know, I been calling him that in my head for decades," she smirked. "I like you, Sookie."

I smiled through the blush on my cheeks. "I think I like you too, CJ." But I was still sour at the idea of needing guarding. "So that's what this is all about: Something vicious because I'm not strong enough to protect myself from the supes around me?"

She laughed loud and long. "You sure got yourself a lot of pride, dontcha? Settle yourself down, there, missy. That ain't it. Take a look at my card."

Finally I picked up the card and read it.

CJ Shrewsberry

Breeder of Super Service Dogs

There were a whole number of breeds listed under her name, none of them "labrademon"—but I guessed that you couldn't exactly advertise that fact. I blinked and furrowed my brow. If I felt weak before, I felt like a freak now. It wasn't bad enough people thought I was disabled before—even I did—but now I had a certified medical doctor confirming it for me.

This was it. Proof I was permanently broken. I suddenly flashed to Terry and his dogs. It was the only thing that calmed him, he said. Oh Lord. Was I going to turn out like Terry after all?

"So what?" I spat out, unable to contain my irritation. "I need a service dog to..." I couldn't think of what a service dog could do for me, except maybe cuddle me when I woke up with a nightmare and Eric was gone. But I wasn't about to tell that to this stranger, no matter how much I liked her.

"Fuck, Sookie, it ain't like that," she said, standing and putting the pups back in their crate. She paced a little and stopped in front of me, like she had an idea of how to explain it. Her mind was telling me that she really wished Dr. Gumby had explained it because she hated having to explain this stuff. But she didn't think "stuff." "What about this: You ever get jumpy? Loud sounds, or unexpected sounds fuck with you? Or ya jump when someone walks in and you don't hear 'em coming?"

I didn't explain to her that unless they were a vampire, I pretty much always heard them coming. But I nodded. My nerves were frayed.

I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and nodded.

"Bad dreams?"

I nodded.

She held her hands out from her sides in a sign of defeat. "Well, that's all she wrote. It ain't like the dog is gonna need to lead you around. But you feel nervous about going someplace new? We'll train your puppy to recognize the stuff that makes you feel batshit crazy and he'll warn ya. You won't get spooked no more. The less you panic, the less… what do you call it?… Adrenaline in your system, the less your nervous system is tellin' you to run like hell." She crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged. "You'll sleep better. You'll get better faster." She nodded at me, her eyes serious. "That stress shit'll kill ya."

She was ready for this conversation to be over, and she wanted to get out of here, now. She was tired and she had another stop to make before driving the two hours back home. I didn't sign up for this shit, is how she put it.

And when she explained it that way—that I might get better faster with the dog—I felt a little better. Still, I'd have to have a stern talk with Dr. Gumby for springing this on me. He knew how I felt about surprises.

I stopped and looked at one of the puppies, the caramel colored one. "That isn't a normal color for a Lab," I said, hoping to calm her down. I really did like her even if she would have made Gran blush from her grave.

CJ was closing up the crate and preparing to haul it back to her truck but she stopped long enough to look over her shoulder at me. "Nope. That's a Cerberus coloring. Comes through on about one in 10 of the pups. Some folks are scared of them pups 'cause they worry they got 'more of the devil in 'em,' but that's horse shit. They're sweet as all the rest of 'em."

I watched her and she really was too pretty to be human. I wondered how many of the people on People's Sexiest People Alive (Or Dead)—they'd changed it to account for all the hot vamps out there—were actually fairies.

I didn't want her to leave like this.

"I'll take him. I mean, that's the puppy I want."

She stood and put her cowboy had on. Her smile was back. "Well, shit. All right then," she nodded. She held her hand out to me to shake it. "I'll bring him back in a few days and we'll get to trainin' him. You think about what you want to name 'im."

I shook her hand and we agreed on a price. She insisted on giving me a discount because I was a "fucking princess" but other than that, we got along just fine.

We were just finishing up and I was handing her an old t-shirt so the puppy could get used to my scent when a loud, long, belly laugh sounded from the guest bedroom.

And just like that, my whole body flushed and I really wanted to get the fairy out of my house.

"OK then," I said, putting my hand on her back and pressing to get her to move toward the door. I wouldn't call it pushing, exactly.

But then I heard the door creak and I knew it was too late. Oh, this was going to be bad.

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Eric's POV

My nostrils flared. My dick got hard. Fucking fairy. The onslaught of images from Dr. Ludwig's clinic that day overwhelmed me, constricting my chest and forcing a growl from my belly. Seeing my Sookie laying totally immobile, helpless, bruised and swollen... I will never forgive another fairy. I will never restrain myself around one again.

Before I could think I was between my Sookie and the fucking fairy—a fairy who looked like a hayseed but smelled like sex. I pressed my Sookie back against me and enjoyed feeling her arms wrap around my waist. My cock twitched when I felt her little mouth on my back.

I spared no words. I grabbed the fairy bitch by the neck and pinned her to the nearest wall. Once she was restrained, I held her eyes and pealed my lips off my fangs and hissed a long, low warning.

I closed my eyes and licked my lips. Mmm... Fuck my Sookie.

I vaguely registered a roar of growling coming from the floor and glanced to see several small dogs wagging their tails and snarling. I held their gaze and bared my fangs at them, too, growling louder and deeper than them. What was this? Had the fairy brought demon dogs to torment my beloved? I would rip her limb from limb and feed off her blood. I would—

"Eric Northman... Erikson... Whatever the hell your name is, you let her down this instant!"

My Sookie made a show of punching and slapping me, first from behind and then slowly, moving around to stand between myself and the fairy. Every instinct in my body wanted to get her away from the fairy—just as much as my body wanted to strip her and check her for injuries before fucking her. I barely registered the fairy launching her own attack at me. In some small part of my mind, I registered that I was in a room with two fairy females. I was the envy of every vampire right now. But I only wanted one.

I turned and grabbed Sookie's wrist as she wound up for another blow and pulled her until she landed against my side with a grunt. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her up so I could kiss her, long and slow and deeply. She kept pushing me, but I didn't mind. It only made it more fun when her punches lost their vigor and she finally submitted to me. I growled happily.

I looked her over carefully, running my had down her back, trying to ignore the dingy shirt she was wearing.

"Are you well, dear one? Have you been harmed?"

Her eyes were glassy for a second but she shook her head. I wasn't convinced but I would do a thorough inspection shortly. I turned back to the fairy I had against the wall. Her hat had fallen and lay upturned next to her crate of mongrels.

"Fuck you, you fuckin' vamp! You and your fucking fangs ain't scared me. You let me the fuck go, you fuckin' fucker!"

I laughed and deftly dodged a kick that was aimed at.. as the human's call them... the family jewels.

"You'd do well to mind your manners and your mouth, fairy." I shook her by the neck and slammed her back against the wall so hard the nearby picture rattled. "There's a lady in the room."

"No shit, Sherlock!" she croaked out. "I'm... Fuck! I'm here to help! Tell him! Tell the damn vamp, Sookie!"

Hearing my Bonded's name coming from that fairy made my blood roar. I squeezed slightly. "You will not address her by her name. You will not address her at all. And if I find you have touched a hair on her head, I will kill you and feed you to those dogs there."

I looked her in the eyes and all she could do was blink. I trusted she understood me.

And just like that, my beautiful, brave, foolhardy woman was standing between me and the fairy again. Before thinking, I bared my fangs at her, too.

She placed her hands on my chest and shoved, barely moving me. "Hey, buddy, quit it! Dr. Gumby sent her and she's helping me." I glanced at her suspiciously. She never had been able to be glamoured and this fairy didn't seem strong enough to have that kind of magic. I loosened my fingers but didn't release her.

Sookie took her hands from me and I nearly lurched forward to get her heat back. "I swear to all that is holy, Eric Northman, that if you don't let her go, I'll release these dogs and sic them on you!"

I laughed. My Sookie was back.

And just like that, my hands were off the fairy and on my woman.

I swung her around in my arms, kissing the pulse points of her neck.

"You are well. Tell me you are well." I traced my hands over her ribcage and down to her ass. I was tempted to just lay her down on the carpet and strip her to be sure of it. I began tugging at her shirt.

Sookie slapped my hands away.

"Jesus H. Christ on a raft! I'm fine. Now you apologize to my guest."

I laughed at her but her face was stony serious. I gathered her to me again, soothed by the blood pulsing in her veins and the warmth of her body. She was standing on her own two feet and she was well enough to be intransigent.

Over my shoulder I commanded, "Leave us. And don't come back after sundown. Ever, if you want to live."

I heard the fairy mutter something under her breath, something like, "Fuckin' dick attackin' me when I'm helping his goddamn lady. No good, shit-for-brains, horny-ass mother-fuckin' vamps. Shit."

She was quickly out the door, dragging the crate of puppies with her, and I was with my woman, alone. I nuzzled into her neck and ran my fingers over every part of her I could reach—to check for injuries, to feel her close, because I could.

"Tell me you're well," I commanded gruffly.

Her hands traced the most delicious patterns down my chest, over my ribs and to my back.

"You're an asshole, Eric."

I began tugging at her shirt again, pulling it overhead. This time she allowed it. I chuckled and gazed at her. Her skin was flawless, creamy and blotched with blush. I wanted her, like this. My Sookie. Finally, mine.

I pulled her tight to me again.

"You're late for our date, dear one," I whispered into her ear. I laughed loud and long when her legs wrapped around my waist and she rubbed herself up against me. Yet she still scowled. That's my girl.

I leaned in close and smiled at her, running my nose over her cheekbone and jaw. "You are not dressed and you smell like-" I took a deep sniff along her neck and felt myself grow harder. "-puppy breath." I growled happily. "And fairy."

Now that the fairy was gone and my Sookie was safe, I could allow myself the pleasure of what fairy does to a vampire. She let out a little squeak as I leaned her against the nearest wall—not the wall where I'd held the fairy. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. Yes. My girl.

Sookie looked into my eyes shyly, but her tone was bitter. "I should be mad at you," she murmured, tracing her thumb up and down the nape of my neck, making me shiver and shake my head, my hair flying and falling around my face. I leaned over and kissed her wrist.

"But you're not," I growled. I ground into her center and loved the shiver she gave me in return.

No words. She simply leaned forward and pulled my bottom lip into her mouth, her soft, wet sucks making me even harder. And when she bowed her back against me, I groaned. I ran my palm down the center of her chest, from her clavicle to between her breasts. She was magnificent. Well. Praise the gods. I laughed and felt my Sookie shiver.

"You've got no manners," she protested and I leaned my weight into her center. "You're always trying to kill my guests."

I leaned in and nibbled her neck, teasing with my fangs. "I wasn't going to let her hurt you." She rotated her hips against me and sighed.

She pulled back and tugged my hair so I'd look at her. Reluctantly, I pulled away.

"You're gonna have to let me fight my own battles, Eric," she said sternly, frustrated. Her eyes flickered to my lips and I smiled. She was brave. My warrior. I would make her stronger still.

"I won't apologize for defending you," I said and pressed further into her. She gasped.

She shook her head and her eyes were confused. "That wasn't defense, that was bloodlust, and I won't have you doing that every time there's a supe in my house. If CJ had wanted to kill me, she could have done it two hours before you rose." I growled. I did not care for the image.

I pulled her tight against me. I would not accept that. "No."

She ran her hands over my face and tried to pull back look at me. I wouldn't let her go, to. I wasn't about to release her.

She kissed me softly and pressed her palms into my back, holding me close. Her heartbeat seeped into me. If I had need of breath, I would have sighed. As it was, I settled for growling.

"There isnt' a think we can do about it, baby," she said softly. "You can't be there all the time. I've got to fight my own battles. I've got to learn to defend myself. And you—" She placed her hand on my jaw and shook slightly. "—are going to have to stop this pitbull thing you've got going on."

She did not understand and I wasn't going to waste one more second of our night explaining the intricacies of vampire physiology to her. It is my nature to attack my enemies, especially when mine is threatened. We would discuss this later. As it was, we were on a timetable. And I needed to wipe the stench of canines off of her. It was almost as bad as Were.

I kissed her back and when she pulled away to look at me, her eyes explored every inch of my face shyly. Why she should be shy when I'm hers I'd never understand.

"I'm only going to say this once," she tugged my hair again for emphasis and I groaned and turned my head to her wrist again. "Hey, focus, buddy!"

I smirked and looked back at her. How could she expect me to listen to her half-hearted admonitions when I could smell her arousal and feel her heat? I arranged my face in a mask of curiosity.

"Don't give me that fake-interested face!" she huffed and I laughed. I stole another kiss before I leaned back and looked at her, cradling her bottom in my hand.

"Fine. I'm listening."

She rubbed her finger on the nape of my neck again and I fought the desire to take her right here up against the wall.

"There's something else, and this is very serious. As much as I hate to say it, you're going to have to start going to rest with clothes on."

She looked down between us at my bare chest and belly and my thick shaft jutting between us.

I glanced up at her and laughed, loud and long. And before she could make any more demands, I was moving towards the bedroom-the bathroom, specifically.

"Wha- Eric!" she complained.

"Relax," I cajoled, excited by the prospect of what was to come. "Normally I'd just take you against every wall in this place, but we need to get ready for our date. And I need to bathe you."

My Sookie panted and bit my neck, hard. Oh, it was going to be a good night.

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A/N: So in real life, they do train service dogs to help returning vets deal with PTSD. I first heard about it last year on a really interesting episode of NPR's Fresh Air. Here's a link in case you're interested in learning more: http:/www (dot) npr (dot) org / templates / story / story (dot) php?storyId=111806582

So whatta you think? Like CJ or hate her? I love protective/horny Eric. And don't you think that there should be a naked Eric in every chapter, even if there can't be naked Eric on every episode of True Blood? Comment and let me know!