Evelyn slowly felt herself coming to a while later, a strange feeling of lethargy and almost drunkenness settling in her bones. Though her eyes were closed, the teen felt her consciousness slowly returning, though she had no idea why she was in her unconscious state to begin with.

'What…' she tried to think, but coherency was still coming back to her slowly.

'...Little Bird?' an all too familiar voice said, though for some reason he sounded vaguely distant.

'...Bill?' Evelyn thought. Hadn't he told her he wouldn't be in her head today? Or was that another day? Her mind felt muddled.

'Little Bird, what in the multiverse just happened?!' she heard him rant. 'I leave you alone for one day, and somehow you're knocked unconscious!'

'We were… trying to solve a conspiracy.' Evelyn replied, details of her day slowly coming back to her. It was almost like her memories were wading through syrup before they could reach her.

'Which one?' Bill asked disinterestedly, though she could still hear his frustration at her current state.

'The one with… Na…thaniel Northwest… How he's not the true town founder.' Evelyn remembered.

'That one?' Bill scoffed, 'I could have told you that smelly bag of flesh hadn't founded the town.'

Evelyn her annoyance flair, more at herself and her situation than at Bill. 'You know everything, don't you?'

'You're only figuring this out now?' Bill questioned smugly.

For some reason, his cockiness and voice made Evelyn feel relieved, as though a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. To hear him behaving familiarly in a situation where Evelyn felt lost and confused gave her something to cling to, something normal to focus on (as strange as that sounded). 'We found a secret compartment, and the cops got us.' she struggled to remember what happened next. 'I think… I flipped the Deputy, and then the Sheriff shot me…' she groaned. 'Don't tell me I was tranquilized!'

'How do you always manage to get in danger?' Bill asked, sounding somewhat mystified.

Evelyn simply shrugged mentally, since she wasn't able to move her body yet. A thought suddenly struck her as her memories cleared up. '...Weren't you somewhere else today? How did you know something was wrong?'

Bill scoffed. 'Your consciousness flinging itself into the Mindscape in the middle of the day wasn't exactly normal.' he paused. 'Plus, I felt your fear for a moment, so I knew you were either in danger, or you'd seen in a spider.'

Evelyn mentally huffed. 'You'd find those things creepy if one crawled up your arm too. Freaks of nature with eight legs…'

'Little Bird,' Bill sighed, 'as much as I enjoy your fanatical hatred for arachnids, Shooting Star and Pine Tree are trying to wake you up… I don't think your adventure's over yet.'

Evelyn felt dread creep up her spine; what had happened to the twins while she was unconscious?

She struggled to become fully conscious but stopped for a moment, the beginnings of that strange… emptiness she'd been feeling all day coming back. 'Bill… are you staying, or are you going back to… wherever you go?'

There was a moment of silence before he spoke. 'Don't get all worked up Little Bird, I'm staying. You clearly can't get out of any dangerous situations without my help,' Bill commented smugly, 'And I'd like to see how this little… adventure ends.'

'Okay,' Evelyn thought, feeling better. 'Thanks, Bill.'

'Anytime, Little Bird.' Bill replied. Evelyn swore his smugness had reached a new high, and she wasn't quite sure why but she decided to ignore it; Bill was a strange creature on a good day.

Evelyn forced herself back into the waking world, and the first thing she noticed was the hard wooden floor beneath her. It felt crudely cut, and she was sure she'd get splinters.

The next thing she was aware of was the fact that she could hear her two frantic siblings' voices calling her name. She heard her brother calling out to her as he shook her shoulder, while Mabel cried, "Anyone there?! Help, help, help!"

Forcing the last bit of unconsciousness off of her, Evelyn's red eyes blinked and squinted, trying to make out where she was.

Though there wasn't too much natural lighting, Evelyn could see they were in a large crate, something that alarmed her. What had happened while she was asleep?

"Evie!" Dipper cried in relief, seeing his sister stir. "You're okay!"

"Yeah, I think so…" Evelyn winced as she tried to move. Most of her body was numb, although she was slowly getting feeling back in her arms and toes.

Mabel rushed over to her, relief in her eyes as Evelyn struggled to move. The twins helped lift Evelyn up and leaned her against the wall of the crate. "Evie, I was so worried!" Mabel exclaimed, hugging her sister tightly.

Evelyn tried not to wince at the tightness of the hug, and struggled to move her hand onto her sister's back in a half-hearted attempt to hug her back. "How did they find us so quickly?" Evelyn asked. "I made sure that your candy wrappers didn't leave a trail…"

The twins looked away in discomfort. "Um, well, you see…" Mabel began, stuttering nervously.

"The candy wrappers would have ratted us out," Dipper continued diplomatically. "But… since Mabel picked up her wrappers after the first time…" Dipper winced. "They asked people if they'd seen anyone with red eyes."

Evelyn sighed, her head dipping as she wallowed in disappointment. Of course all they had to do was ask for anyone who had seen the… weird red-eyed girl. It was so obvious that she was honestly annoyed that she hadn't thought of it in advance. She could have found a pair of sunglasses to hide her eyes…

'C'mon, Little Bird,' Bill nudged mentally, 'you can't help it if your eyes are more interesting than the other humans!'

Evelyn cracked a small grin at Bill's attempt to keep her from being upset, but she masked it as she looked up at the twins, who were looking at her in concern. She didn't want them to ask about why she was smiling; she'd look crazy if she didn't mention Bill…

"They, um, actually mentioned something about a witch hunting mob too…?" Dipper added uncertainly.

"Oh, so I did have a mob chasing after me." Evelyn hummed. She tried to remain lighthearted because she knew that if she let on that she was bothered at all they'd pity her, and that was the last thing she wanted. She knew needed to become stronger and less affected by what others said about, if not for herself, then for her siblings. Today would just have to be the day she started…

Her necklace sent a wave of comfort over her and she smiled properly, before realizing that the ground felt like it was moving. "Where are we?" she asked.

"Blubs and Durland locked us in a crate and are taking us to Washington, D.C." Dipper supplied. "We're on a train heading there now."

Evelyn could faintly hear the sound of a train speeding down the tracks when she listened closely and nodded. "Why?"

She needed as much information as possible if she was going to try and get them out of there.

"Well, after you'd been…" Dipper swallowed, avoiding the word 'shot', and continued explaining the strange tale of the eight-and-a-half president, with Mabel chipping in every now and then with her side of the story.

After retelling their adventure, Mabel groaned. "I can't believe we're trapped! I'm starving!"

She broke off a piece of peanut brittle from the giant block that encased the old president and, before Evelyn could stop her from eating the incredibly old treat, Mabel popped it in mouth.

"Mabel…!" Any reprimand Evelyn had died on her tongue as the giant block of peanut brittle began to crack. It fell apart, freeing the man that was inside.

The siblings screamed as the man took a gasping breath and jumped forward. "It is I, Quentin Trembley!" he immediately tore off his pants, revealing his large undergarments as he stared down at them.

Evelyn stared at him in bewilderment and shock as Bill laughed hysterically in her mind at her reaction. 'I'd be angry at him for being half-naked in front of you,' Bill said between laughing fits, 'but he's a loon, and your reaction-!' He howled, his laughter echoing almost maniacally.

Evelyn mentally huffed. So maybe she was slightly embarrassed and beyond confused, it wasn't her fault!

"You're alive!" Dipper gasped. "But how?"

Mabel was piecing together the crazy mystery faster than her siblings could keep up. "Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're brilliant!"

Quentin Trembley chuckled, seeming oblivious to the looks he was getting from Dipper and Evelyn. "And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!"

Evelyn and Dipper turned to smile at Mabel, seeing the truth in the man's words. She hadmanaged to solve the conspiracy herself, after all. "He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside down; your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!" Dipper exclaimed.

"I told you that you were a mad genius, Mabes." Evelyn smiled proudly at her little sister.

"Oh, stop it." Mabel blushed at their praise, smiling proudly at her achievement. Trembley had been looking around as Mabel glowed from their approval, and became alarmed. "By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box."

"It's a crate, Mr. President." Evelyn and Dipper said in unison, staring at him with a deadpan expression. Was his mind still trying to wake up from his centuries long sleep?

Trembley remained unperturbed by their brusqueness and pulled out a small skeleton key with more confidence than Evelyn thought a man who just broke free from peanut brittle, only to find himself in a crate, could be. "Good thing I have my President's Key, which can open any lock in America!"

He then repeatedly slammed the key into the wood, as though a lock would eventually materialize in the wood.

Dipper was beginning to look a bit hopeless. "I...don't think that's gonna work."

Trembley sighed, and angrily proclaimed, "Wood! My age old enemy." He then began to look around pensively. "In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."

Dipper smiled. "I think I know who can help you."

Evelyn nodded in agreement, and managed to put her somewhat weak hand on Mabel's shoulder. "Mabes, it's your time to shine."

Mabel beamed and then looked around, trying to find an unusual escape route. "Hmm. How 'bout… that hole?" She pointed to a small finger-sized hole near the bottom of the crate.

Trembley seemed to agree with Mabel's strange suggestion, immediately proclaiming, "We will leap through it!"

The two jumped for the hole, Mabel trying to wiggle her finger out of the crate, ignoring the strange looks she received from her seated sister and brother.

As Mabel tried to wiggle out of the crate using only her finger, Trembley shouted encouragements. "Almost… Almost there… Good! Keep pushing…" They both crouched down to talk Mabel's finger into escaping.

Evelyn and Dipper shared concerned looks. While Evelyn was all for her sister embracing her weirdness and being herself, she couldn't help but hope Mabel would decide that weird or strange choices weren't always the right option for getting out of tricky situations. If Mabel got the philosophy that weird was always right, who knows what havoc she'd wreak.

"...I'm not sure this is working." Dipper said, seeming to realize what Evelyn had. Too much Mabel craziness would not be a good thing.

Mabel brushed him off. "Trust… the silliness!"

"Fiddlesticks! Keep going!" Trembley encouraged.

The older brunette forced herself to not speak up, seeing the truth in Mabel's words. Her sister had managed to solve the conspiracy by being silly, and the entire time they had doubted her and her actions, even when they were proved wrong. Evelyn knew Mabel was someone who desperately wanted her siblings' trust, and the teen began to feel guilty for second-guessing her sister's methods, especially when she had proven herself repeatedly to them.

That didn't mean that Evelyn couldn't prepare for the chance that Mabel's plan would fall through though.

"Go, Mabel!" Evelyn cheered weakly as she wiggled in her spot on the crate's floor, desperately trying to regain the feeling in her limbs. She knew if this went south and Mabel's plan failed, it would be up to her to break them out. She stopped moving, however, when the sound of flapping wings caught her attention.

To Evelyn's disbelief and surprise, the sound of a woodpecker pecking at the box rung out. The president to mention something about a third wife, but before anyone could comment on it, the crate fell apart.

"What the…" Evelyn mumbled, staring at the broken crate in shock as she tried to regain her balance after losing her back support.

Dipper rushed over to help support her as best as he could as Trembley looked at the broken crate in annoyance. "Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!"

Evelyn barely refrained from yelling in annoyance at the older man's antics. 'How on earth did he run a country?!'

'Terribly.' Bill replied. 'Half of the government was pulling out their hair and setting off small fires in protest. It was fun to watch though!'

Evelyn barely resisted the urge to snort.

Dipper was similarly annoyed by the president's inability to think rationally. Focusing on the issue at hand, he cried, "We gotta get out of here!"

"Also good!" Trembley cried, turning to face them.

He rushed to the only visible door and the rest of the ragtag group following after, though Evelyn was leaning against Mabel for support as the feeling slowly came back to her legs. Their luck ran out however, as the moment Dipper opened the door in the train he ran into Durland, who was carrying a bucket of ice. The moment the Deputy saw them, he dropped the bucket in shock.

"Blubs!" He cried, seeming to be aware enough to realize that it wasn't a good thing to see the small gang in the doorway.

The four immediately turned and ran the other way, the twins trying to support their struggling sister. They managed to climb up a ladder (with no small effort to push Evelyn's weak body forward), but Trembley held them up by attempting to put an old skeleton key in the escape hatch, despite the fact that there wasn't a lock. Frustrated, Dipper snatched the key from Trembley.

"Give me that!" he barked, turning the handle to the door and allowing them to climb up onto the roof of the moving train.

It took Evelyn a moment to gather her balance and stop herself from falling over as the motion of the train rocked her already frail balance and support. If she fell, she knew she'd feel a lot more than a slight twinge and weakness in her extremities.

'You always choose the most deadly route to escape the bad guy, Little Bird.' Bill groaned. 'Next time, take your chances with the two idiot cops!'

'I'll be sure to do that,' she joked, 'because I think it would be a great idea to deal with the man who shot me with a tranquilizer gun.'

Bill grumbled. 'Just don't fall, Little Bird. You've already been beaten up enough this summer. Falling off a train isn't going to make it any better.'

Evelyn snorted quietly at his comment but forced herself to move, especially when she heard the telltale sounds of pursuit coming from behind them.

Only a moment later, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland ran onto the roof, with Blubs huffing for breath to the point that Evelyn began to worry that he had asthma.

'You were taken down by that lump of flesh?' Bill commented, and despite his clear anger at the one who knocked her out, his voice took on a teasing lilt.

Evelyn scowled. 'Hey, he had a tranquilizer gun. I never stood a chance.'

"There-is-no-escape!" Blubs gasped out, before kneeling. "I gotta take a knee."

"Dipper, he's as out of shape as you are." she whispered to her brother, hoping to lighten the tenseness he seemed to feel at the sight of the two officers. She was rewarded with a glower.

"Are you okay?" Durland asked, placing his hand on Blubs' shoulder. "Can I get you anything?"

Blubs smiled and pat Durland's hand, seeming to temporarily forget about the four 'felons' that stood precariously on the roof of a moving train. "Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough."

Evelyn was tempted sneak off while they were distracted, but Dipper spoke up. "Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?"

Blubs focused on them and shook his head. "Our orders come from the very top!"

Bill and Evelyn collectively groaned at Dipper catching the attention of the officers, but something the sheriff said bothered the brunette.

"The very top…" Evelyn murmured, and gasped. "Sheriff Blubs, you claim that your orders come from the highest source of power in America?" The teen tried to speak eloquently, hoping that if she sounded mature they wouldn't notice the weakness in her legs or the slight lethargy she still felt.

Blubs nodded in confusion as Evelyn turned her head towards Trembley. "Mr. President, did you ever formally resign?"

Dipper's eyes widened as he realized what she meant. Not having caught on, Trembley replied, "No, ma'am. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window."

Evelyn nodded. She thought as much. Trying to keep her voice as formal as possible, she began, "Then that means that legally…"

"You're still the President of the United States, right?" Dipper finished, beginning to grin.

"That means that you two, as officers of the law, can be commanded by this president." Evelyn smirked. She was more than a little peeved with Blubs at being shot before, and she couldn't help but feel a bit pleased by their slack jawed expressions.

"As President of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened." Trembley paused for a moment, seeming to struggle with what to say next. "And-and go on a delightful vacation."

The president stood proudly, pleased by his decree, when he smacked his head on a metal rail the train passed by. "OW! Mmm yeeees!"

Evelyn gave the President a look that was a cross between concern and exasperation. 'No wonder he encased himself in peanut brittle. He must need a protective shell just to survive the week!'

She was pulled back from her musings by Blubs and Durland's exclamation for some water park in Grand Lakes, Michigan.

'They're given the opportunity to travel wherever they want and their first thought is Michigan?' Evelyn wondered incredulously. Not that she saw anything wrong with Michigan, but she was still surprised that they would think of a state first.

'Some minds can't think of things outside of their little box.' Bill remarked in a snarky tone. 'Where would you go, Little Bird?'

'I don't know,' Evelyn thought, 'maybe London, or Morocco, or India, or New Zealand…' the brunette felt a bit wistful. 'The world is so big, and I want to see as much of it as I can.'

'That can be arranged.' Bill said slyly, but Evelyn brushed it off as teasing. 'It seems this little bird wants to spread her wings.'

'I suppose so.' Evelyn shrugged. 'Becoming more cultured can only be a good thing.'

The brunette couldn't help but think of exotic locations the entire time they got off the roof and headed back to the Gravity Falls train station. It turned out that it could be incredibly useful to have a sheriff that could convince the conductor that it was in his best interest to turn around when one wanted to get home. The red-eyed teen decided to write down that useful bit of information later.

Evelyn was beginning to imagine herself backpacking through Tibet as she waved at a Hawaiian shirt-clad Blubs and Durland. Travelling would be amazing…

She refocused on her siblings as Trembley kneeled to be at Mabel's height and began to speak. "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman." he unfolded a black top hat from his pocket and handed it to Mabel, who was beaming.

She proudly put on the top hat and declared, "I'm legalizing everything!"

Evelyn sweat dropped. "It doesn't work that way sweetheart…"

'Please let Mabel never be in a position where she is given that much power…' the brunette prayed, to both herself and anything that would listen.

'And why not?' Bill asked.

'Because the entire world would become a crazy, nonsensical place.' Evelyn shuddered, images of mandatory pink feather dresses and gated communities for pretty boys flooding her.

'Sounds like my type of world!' Bill exclaimed gleefully. Evelyn guessed that he hadn't seen her visions of a Mabel-run world; otherwise she thought he might change his tune.

"And you, my dear Elizabeth!" Trembley exclaimed, standing up and shaking her hand. "You're a sharp one with a political mouth, so I'm appointing you to be the new Secretary of State!"

To Evelyn's bemusement, he took out another top hat and handed it to her, along with a pin of the Great Seal of the United States. "As Secretary of State, it is now your duty to guard that Seal with your life!" he exclaimed.

Evelyn smiled. "I'm not sure that's how it works, but thank you Mr. President." she bowed her head and put on a faux-serious expression. "I will make it my utmost duty to be a beneficial and wise Secretary of State."

Her straight expression cracked once Bill spoke up, causing her mouth to curve up slightly. 'Now, Secretary Little Bird, how does your new position feel?'

'Stressful,' she replied jokingly, 'I think I already see a grey hair.'

'Don't age too quickly, Little Bird,' Bill jested, 'I don't feel like reversing time once I meet you.'

Evelyn was about to comment, when she realized something. "Wait, did you call me Eliza-" she began, but Trembley had already moved on.

"And Roderick," he turned to Dipper.

Evelyn sighed. 'So he's just bad with names period.' She thought. 'Good to know.'

"Uh-actually-uh-" Dipper interrupted, but Trembley ignored him.

"You dear boy are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I'd like you to have my President's key!" he held out a skeleton key to Dipper, who gladly took it, though he was mildly disappointed he'd not been appointed to become some member of the government like his sisters had been.

Dipper nodded his thanks and looked up at his sister, who shot him a tired grin. "How about we head back? I'm sure that Grunkle Stan's probably assuming we've been indoctrinated into a pioneer cult by now." Evelyn joked.

The twins sighed in relief at the thought of relaxing and, with Trembley in tow, they headed back into town.

-DaLD-

"And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk." Trembley exclaimed, ending his story on how he met the first President of the United States.

"Ah-greed." Mabel nodded, looking at the man with something akin to awe.

"Well, you did sort of instigate it." Evelyn hummed; too amused with her present company to truly argue that he'd been the one in the wrong. He had smashed Washington's priceless vase and startled his cat, after all.

As they walked into town, the siblings spotted Pacifica and her posse watching a few girls running around a maypole.

Evelyn glanced at her sister and caught her eye, before nodding her head in Pacifica's direction as her friends went forward to grab one of the girls.

Mabel stepped up to Pacifica, and the blonde only had a moment to look surprised before Mabel spoke. "Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Do you still think I'm silly?"

"What?" Pacifica was confused, though even Mabel could see the shred of curiosity and excitement in the girl's blue eyes. "And who is that?" she pointed in the direction of Trembley with slightly more disdain as the man jumped around, chasing an eagle.

Evelyn sighed and considered stopping Trembley before the eagle got angry and actually attacked, but Bill spoke up. 'It's entertaining to watch. Plus, if you're lucky, the bird might knock a functioning brain into him!'

Evelyn sighed, but a smile still curved her lips. 'Don't be rude. Some of it may be the peanut brittle.'

'That is why this human is insane.' Bill mumbled. 'I like encouraging chaos and madness as much as the next multidimensional being, but that human's doing it all on his own.'

Evelyn stifled a laugh as Mabel continued her conversation with the blonde aristocrat.

"The eighth-and-a-half president of America." Mabel explained, staring at Trembley with pride.

"How is he still alive?!" Pacifica wondered incredulously. Her curiosity was now obvious, along with her interest.

Mabel smiled and leaned forward, both girls stepping closer to each other as Mabel told her the tale. "It turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it-"

Their excited, if a bit disbelieving discussion was immediately stopped when a strong hand landed on the blonde's shoulder, tightening its grip until the girl flinched.

Pacifica's face immediately paled, before she let her expression shift into a sneer. A mocking laugh erupted from her, though her eyes stayed blank as she stared at the confused brunette.

"Wow, you really are a sad, uh-dumb little girl." she glanced back at her parents before continuing. "Nice top hat, by the way."

Her parents laughed, causing Pacifica to perk up slightly, preening under their approving gazes.

Evelyn glared at the rich couple. "Well, personally, I'm a fan of the hat myself."

The Northwest couple turned their glares onto the teen, only to falter slightly at the sight of her eye colour. For a moment, a glimmer of recognition flickered in Preston Northwest's eyes before his face turned stony. His wife shot him an uneasy glance, but decided to ignore his behaviour and continued to make fun of the Pines siblings.

"Ooh, I see your… car is stuck in the mud." Mrs. Northwest commented, glancing at where Stan's car could just be seen with distaste.

"Enjoy walking home!" Pacifica crooned, as her parents stepped towards their black sedan. As the blonde stepped into the car she shot Mabel an uneasy and apologetic look, which the young girl didn't miss.

Dipper had missed the look entirely and scowled as the car began to drive away. Still bristling from their rude behaviour towards his twin, he turned to face Mabel in indignation. "Aren't you gonna tell her about her ate-gray ampa-gray?"

Mabel shook her head, a new hope in her eyes. "You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove. I know that maybe I can be friends with Pacifica one day if I try harder, and that being silly is awesome!"

Evelyn smiled proudly at her sister. It always made her so happy to see Mabel reach those milestones of maturity. Dipper, however, seemed to disagree.

"Well, I haven't learned anything!" Dipper let out a sharp whistle in the direction the sedan had gone. "Hey, Pacifica!"

Dipper ran to the black car, which stopped once he reached Pacifica's window. The blonde glanced at him with feigned disinterest, but genuine surprise overtook her when the 12 year old shoved the documents through the window and onto her lap.

Dipper's expression was triumphant. "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!"

The car quickly peeled off, and Pacifica's clearly shocked and horrified face could be seen by the siblings through the rear window of her car. "What? Mooom!"

Mabel stared back with remorse while Evelyn put a hand on her shoulder with a sigh. When one matured, the other regressed, so it seemed.

Dipper skipped back over to his sisters, beaming. "Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!"

'Gotta agree with Pine Tree there,' Bill hummed, 'Revenge is one of the greatest things in the multiverse.'

Evelyn thought it over. 'While I disagree, since it doesn't really solve anything, I'm not gonna lie and say I've never done it before either…'

'Ooh, Little Bird got revenge?' Bill asked, his interest peaked. 'What got you angry enough to do that?'

Evelyn smiled humorously. 'Maybe I'll tell you some other time.'

Before Bill could protest, Evelyn pulled her focus back to the group in front of her as Trembley spoke up.

"Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here…" for a moment he put his hand on his chest, and Evelyn felt a bit warm from the 'in your heart' gesture, but he ruined it by pulling out a bill from his breast pocket. "On the negative twelve dollar bill."

He handed it to Dipper, who stared at it in awe.

"Whoa." Dipper exclaimed. "This is worthless."

Evelyn stared at it with interest. She wasn't aware they could even make money that was this worthless! 'Who had actually followed his demand and made this?' Evelyn wondered.

"It's less than worthless, my boy." After a final pat on the shoulder, Trembley suddenly exclaimed, "Trembley away!" and jumped backwards onto a horse, riding off into the distance.

Mabel stared at him as he left. "Where do you think he's going?"

Dipper shrugged, watching the man leave as well. "I'm gonna say… off a cliff."

"Who knows," Evelyn added, "maybe in a few years the town of 'Sudden Drop' will be founded?"

The siblings laughed and locked arms, heading out to find the last missing member of their family.

-DaLD-

The Pines siblings found Grunkle Stan in one of the stocks and listened to the heart wrenching tale of his misadventures, all the while trying not to laugh.

"...And then Soos came by and talked to me for like, an hour."

Mabel nodded her head in sympathy. "You've been through so much."

Evelyn smirked. "You must need some time to recover from your trauma at home, right?"

Stan groaned pitifully in agreement, and Evelyn laughed.

Internally, her muscles were still sore, and her hand would spasm occasionally from leftover sensations of numbness, so she was just amused to hear her uncle complain about his sore back. She personally didn't know what she'd feel in the morning, but she was sure that it wouldn't be pleasant.

'You should have done something a bit more painful to that sheriff instead of letting him go on vacation.' Bill said balefully.

'He's out of the way.' Evelyn shrugged. 'That's all that was needed.'

'He hurt you, Little Bird.' Bill practically growled.

'And now he's gone.' Evelyn felt a self-deprecating smile form. 'Believe me, I might be angry with them now, but hurting them for it will only hurt me in the end. Light revenge is one thing, but it's way too easy to cross the line.'

Dipper, completely unaware of their sister's darker thoughts, used the President's key to unlock the stocks. "It works!" he exclaimed happily.

Stan looked up at the siblings as he straightened up, and stared at the two sisters in confusion. "So what's with the top hats?"

"I'm a congressman." Mabel proclaimed.

"And I'm the new Secretary of State." Evelyn added, grinning.

Stan looked at them in surprise. "Pardon me?"

"You are officially pardoned." Mabel said.

The siblings laughed at their uncle's befuddled expressions. Stan shrugged off their strangeness and shook his head. "Oy!" he exclaimed gruffly. "You are never gonna make sense, are you, kid?"

Mabel smiled, content with herself. "No I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. Mabel, away!"

Mabel jumped backwards, hoping to execute a similar exit to Trembley's but only managing to crash into a few crates. "I'm okay!" she cried.

Evelyn sighed and jogged over to her sister, her mouth quirked into a grin. "Up you get, Mabes." She lifted the 12 year old up and dusted her off, getting a muffled 'thanks' in return.

Evelyn was about to berate Mabel (jumping backwards without looking was dangerous, after all), when the cries of a small mob caught her ears.

"Witch! Witch! Witch!" The mob didn't sound too far away, and though they hadn't spotted her, Evelyn didn't want to try her luck and end up burning at the stake.

"Well, that's our cue." Evelyn exclaimed, running over to her family, "Let's get in the car and drive, shall we?"

Stan glanced between her and the mob in surprise. "What's it with you always seeming to attract the weirdos?"

"No time," Evelyn huffed, "let's just run!"

The family ran, Bill's demands of an explanation echoing in her head as Evelyn laughed.

An eventful summer, indeed.

-DaLD-

Long after the Pines family had gone, the mob continued to chase after the 'witch', though they never found her. The small mob was beginning to get uneasy, wondering if there was even a witch to begin with.

Seeing the mob's doubt, the man who had rallied them cried, "I swear, I saw the witch with my own two eyes, and-" The man was cut off as a few men wearing robes appeared from the alley nearby. Their robes were red, with the emblem of a single eye covering their own.

As the small mob stared at the men with confusion and a growing fear more began to appear, one specific one at the forefront. "You did not see any witch," he intoned, "there was nothing there at all."

The rest of the town didn't notice as the small mob was dragged one by one into the darkness, and the early night was quiet once more.

-DaLD-

Hey guys! I'm a horrible person, I know. But before you prepare the torches and pitchforks, please hear me out! I'm not great at time management, I'm a terrible procrastinator by nature, and the past months have been prettybusy for me, which made my writing less of a priority at the time (*cough*plus my horrible habit of starting new stories in my journal whenever an idea hits me *cough* *cough*). Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was strangely stressful for me and I read over it for two days straight, trying to make it sound better.

Now, onto the chapter! I hope you liked the little cameo of the Society of the Blind Eye. The idea came from a dear friend, Berry, and though I may not take it as far as she had originally planned, I couldn't resist this little ending. Did they take the mob away because of Evelyn, or just because they mentioned seeing a witch? :) This won't be brought up again for a long time, so I'll just let that sit for a while. I wonder what theories this will create…

I tried to drop some jokes and casual shout outs to certain fandoms and current events, since it was too perfect (what with the whole 'American History' thing going on), but one I wasn't sure about was Trembley's comment on Evelyn's 'political mouth'. I'm not sure this is a compliment or not; on the one hand, she handled the situation maturely, but she was also slightly manipulative, and I didn't know what else to call her in that moment. Hopefully it made you laugh or smile though!

I'm always anxious when I'm writing Bill, so I hope he was well done in this chapter! I'm getting so excited about the future of this story that it's hard to focus on the present sometimes.

Anyway, time for me to answer reviews:

To Moonninjaluna: Thank you for understanding! And I'm excited for that revelation too. Their actual meeting will certainly be interesting…

To redvintage888: What was that you said about authors taking three months to update…? (Sorry!) And thank you! I like having information to back up each aspect of the story, it makes it feel more real, you know? And I'm very excited to introduce your character idea in the future!

To musicalocelot: Thanks! I'm happy to know that Evill is becoming a believable ship. I certainly love them together!

xxxyangxxx2006: I feel honoured that this story was someone's 'I-am-consumed' one day binge-read! I based Evie's struggles with my own, having watched by brother and step siblings grow up from people who would play soccer with me in the backyard to teens who prefer to be on their devices in their rooms (still love them though ). And this won't be the first deal Evie makes with Bill… mwahahahaha!

To Berry: I hope your skiing trip was fun! Thank you for your advice and constructive criticism, it helps me figure out where my flaws are with my writing. Thanks again for all your help with concept ideas in the story!

To Cinnabon68: Yeah, I wasn't really sure Evie being awake and aware would be a good idea, plus writing the whole Trembley discovery scene would have been a hassle. I love writing these chapters too, with the siblings working together and depending on each other! Sibling love is great to write!

The-Thorns-On-A-Rose: I'll be sure to tell him! He says use a serrated knife when carving skin. Have fun…?

To ValeofArynn: I'm glad you decided to stick around! I'm trying my hardest to make Evelyn a believable character with believable flaws, and the struggle and inability to let your siblings grow up is one that I had to include in this story. I hope you enjoy future chapters as well!

To Guest: The idea of using a tranquilizer instead of a taser was stemmed from a few things: a video I watched in which someone was shot with a tranquilizer (not pleasant), a conversation I had with my friends about the possible non-lethal ways to resolve conflict while a police officer is on duty, and the fact that Gravity Falls is a crazy town, so why not?

Dragongirl1806: That's a good idea for a future scene with Calla and Draco! I've been writing Calla's story recently, and there will definitely be scenes like that. She'll start out as a non-confrontational person in the beginning, but she'll become stronger, and scenes like that will demonstrate it. And sorry for the lack of updates!

To B: *shudders* No, canon human-Bill is too terrifying to write. Bill will have a human form (if only to get closer to Evie) and I promise he will NOT be like the one Hirsch gave us.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed to remind me to update and to tell me they enjoyed the story so far, it's nice to know that people are enjoying Evie and her adventures! Thank you to Berry, for listening to my ideas and helping me make them better, and thanks to Aqua Burst 07 for giving me advice and helping me assuage some concerns I had.

I know the Author's note is insanely big today, but I have a couple of announcements!

Firstly, musicalocelot decided to be the most amazing person EVER and drew fan art for this story! It's going to be up for the chapter of the tenth episode, since it's the halfway mark in the story and I'm a sucker for making a big deal about milestones! I absolutely love it, and I love seeing this story inspire creativity in others as well. musicalocelot, you are the greatest!

If anyone else feels like drawing fan art for this story, please do so by all means! It makes me very happy to see it, and I'm planning on setting up a Tumblr page for this story in the future, where I'll display any fan art you guys conjure up, update info and possible short snippets of future chapters.

My second announcement is a little 'game' of mine. The person who becomes the 300th reviewer will get a short Evill drabble (that I may or may not make canon) and one little clue for the future of the story! Let the games begin!

Seriously guys, you are all amazing! I'll try to update soon, and with the break coming up I'll have more time to do so, but I don't want to set up a concrete day because then I'll immediately screw up the deadline. To all you wonderful people out there, how are you? Did anything interesting happen recently? Hopefully life is looking up for you!

I hope you all have an amazing week! Please favourite, follow and/or review! Please ignore any grammar mistakes, I edit everything myself and sometimes things slip past me.

Now onto the cipher! (Hint: I'm using the same cipher that was used in this episode of the show):

Orggov Yriw zmw Dvmwb urmw lfg gszg dziwilyvh zivm'g lmob uli hglirmt xolgsrmt.

Until next time! - Aria

I don't own Gravity Falls

P.S: I looked up when to capitalize president, since I wasn't sure, but it only made me more confused so please excuse any capitalization errors!