One Wish

In the small country of Sina, the social status of the wealthy was maintained through arranged marriages. Eren Jaeger, the prodigal son of the best doctor in the country, was expected to marry the finest available in the land. His secret relationship with Mikasa Ackerman, a lowly housekeeper's daughter, meant nothing. Mikasa wasn't good enough for the Jaeger family, but on the day of his wedding, one fateful meeting could give them another chance.

Word Count: 4,858


"This has to end."

He says it so suddenly, a terrible crack in the pleasant silence of a summer morning. They'd spent the night together, left for a walk in their favorite park before dawn had broken over the horizon, and now, just shy of noon and soon after she's finished dropping flower petals into his hair, he speaks for the first time in hours.

Mikasa opens her eyes, staring up at the sharp curve of his jaw from where she lays, her head on his thigh, her hand laced with his on her chest. Eren isn't looking at her, his elbow propped on his knee, his chin in his hand, eyes trained on the horizon, and he's lost somewhere in his head. He isn't with her.

She doesn't sit up, but she squeezes his hand, a cold worry burying itself deep in her chest. Despite herself, despite everything they've gone through, she can't help but feel something is terribly wrong.

"Eren?" He still wasn't looking at her, but he nods slightly. "What is it? What has to end?"

His next words steal the breath from her lungs.

"This." It's a whispered sigh; so quiet she could have mistaken it for a gust of wind had she not seen his lips move. "Us."

Her head spins, and she lurches out of his lap, but he doesn't let go of her hand, and she doesn't get far. Mikasa turns to face him, her mouth falling open uselessly as she searches for something to say.

"What are you talking about?"

"My dad's arranged a marriage. The date's set for next fall."

Tears burn the back of her throat, and Mikasa rips her hand away from his, tries not to feel any sort of hope at the way his hand hangs in the air at the absence of hers. "You never told him about us." And she tries not to sound bitter, maybe more for his sake than hers, but she's unsuccessful.

Eren shuts his eyes, his shoulders tensing for an instant, and then he nods. "I didn't know how-"

"How to tell him you love a poor girl?"

"What? No. You know he loves you, Mikasa."

"Yet you didn't tell him?"

Mikasa wasn't stupid. Her family's status in the country was far below Eren's. Due to her parent's jobs as housekeepers, now her source of income, she was far below the kind of woman he was meant to be with, but when they met in primary school they'd become inseparable. She'd fallen in love quickly, and he'd told her he'd always felt the same, and Armin, their best friend, was the first one to figure their relationship out a few weeks before graduation.

Still, Mikasa had always been a little worried about how Eren's father would react to their relationship. Grisha Jaeger had never hurt his son, but he'd been obsessed with keeping the family's power and money ever since his wife's death when Eren was ten. He loved Mikasa like a daughter, but she knew he'd never accept her as a plausible wife for Eren.

She wasn't good enough for the best doctors in all of Sina.

It was why she'd suggested keeping their relationship a secret from Eren's father.

She just never thought it would end like this.

"I thought we'd have more time," Eren says, mumbling it against his palm. His hand seeks out hers, sliding against the warm grass in search of her fingers, but she pulls away. "I didn't- I didn't think he'd try to marry me off so soon after med school."

Mikasa can see it- see the future they'd planned out together. Eren had suggested they leave the country, but Mikasa loved it here too much. It was where her parents had been born, where they'd died mere miles from their hometowns. It was where she met Levi, her sole remaining relative, where she'd fallen in love with Eren's fiery personality and Armin's quiet stories.

She didn't want to leave.

But she wanted a life with Eren. He'd promised her a house, big enough for their children, and a yard to garden and play in, close enough to her hometown and his hospital, close enough for Armin and any of their friends to visit, but secluded enough to live in peace away from the socialites constantly demanding Eren's attention.

She wanted him.

"You-" Her voice breaks, and she resents the tears she feels well up in her eyes. He was too quiet, too distant, and so different from the man who'd just last night screamed at the stove while making dinner. And perhaps, this silent acceptance scared her even more than the destruction of their future. Mikasa tries again, clearing her throat in an attempt to appear stronger than she felt. "You won't refuse him?"

"How can I?" And he still hasn't moved, still hasn't spared her a damn look, like everything they've been through together meant nothing to him. "He's my father, Mik. I can't just shit on everything he's given me."

"But you can ruin everything we have."

Eren glares at her from the corner of his eye, and she supposes the shining of tears she sees is just a trick of the light. "You know goddam well that's not true."

"Do I?"

"I have to think of my family."

"A family that no longer includes me."

"If that's what you want."

"What I want?" It comes out as a shout, much louder than she'd intended, but she does not revel in the way he flinches. Mikasa surges forward, curling her hands around his cheeks to get him to finally look at her, and her heart breaks again when she sees how red and puffy his eyes are, how dull the color seems. "I don't want any of this, Eren! I want you. I want our family. I don't want to watch you with someone else and call you family as an afterthought!"

Eren leans into her touch, smoothing his thumb across the back of her hand like he's done so many times before, but for the first time it gives her no comfort. She searches his eyes for something to curb her despair, but he keeps his expression schooled into one she can't read. "I can't change this."

"Do you even care at all?" Mikasa drops her forehead against his, choking back a sob when she realizes, bathed in the sun and intoxicated with him, that these were her last few minutes to be with him.

"I love you, Mikasa." His other hand snakes around her back, his fingers splayed against her shoulder as he holds her close. "I always have. I always will. And I'm so, so sorry."

"I am, too."

Mikasa stands after too long, ripping herself from his embrace and using all of her strength not to fall back into his arms, to beg him to run away with her. She wouldn't fit in in his world; she couldn't do that to his father.

She turns away, leaving him alone in their favorite spot, a spot she could never return to alone. Eren's house had always been her safe haven when things were bleak, and she'd spent so many nights in his arms- where could she go when she could no longer go home?

"I love you."

Eren says it to her retreating figure, just loud enough for her to hear, and just enough to get her to falter.

She sniffs, breathing deeply to keep her sobs at bay, and continues walking with a quiet, "I love you."


Everything was perfect.

Wedding preparations had been scarily easy. There'd barely been any disagreements between his dad and Clara's parents, the only real fight stemming from where the newlyweds would live. (Her parents had won that one, and a villa two cities over had been purchased almost immediately.)

The guest list was long, the venue extravagant, the cake half as tall as his bride, and everyone was smiling, everyone was laughing and milling about in expensive dresses and suits. They were already drinking fancy champagne before the day truly began, eagerly awaiting the moment when the doors to the room would open, and the bridal party would begin its march. He'd been congratulated countless times, shaken the hands of so many business men, so many doctors, Eren could no longer keep track.

Eren keeps glancing at the minister, apparently the best in the entire country of Sina, but the old man was laughing with someone. Everyone was laughing; drunk already on happiness and the declarations of love they'll witness this afternoon.

Well, everyone except Eren.

He couldn't stop fidgeting with his suit, couldn't stop tugging his sleeves over his hands only to shove his hands in his pockets, and then rip them out to adjust his tie a minute later. It fit perfectly, of course it did, but it wasn't right.

Everything was right.

Nothing was right.

Armin slaps his hand when he reaches for his hair again, resurfacing suddenly to fix a button on Eren's jacket and offer a reassuring smile, but it doesn't do anything for Eren's nerves.

"I just checked on them," Armin says quietly, adjusting Eren's tie next. "There was some setback with the shoes-"

"The only hitch."

Armin silences him with a pointed look. "If you need a breather, you have time."

"I don't know if I can do this."

It's more than cold feet, and Armin knows this very well. Ever since they met as little kids, Armin had been his best friend, one of the two people Eren could confide in and trust wholeheartedly, and Armin knew exactly how Eren felt about the wedding. Armin's never told him what to do, and Eren's always admired that, but right now, Eren really just wanted to be told he was doing something right by marrying Clara.

"Go." Armin says, and for the briefest second Eren believes Armin's suggesting he go to her, but Armin's pointing to a door off to the side, to the hallway parallel to where they stood. He's telling Eren to get some air, clear his head, and make sure he could live with this choice.

Eren nods, clapping his hand on Armin's shoulder in thanks, and slips from the room without any spectacle, sighing in relief once he's out.

He sits, sliding down the wall until he can rest his head on his knees, until he can breathe without feeling suffocated by the guests at his wedding. When Eren had pictured his wedding as a teenager, he'd always seen a small number of people gathered around a blooming tree, the love of his life smiling next to him as they vowed what they'd already promised each other years before, but that wasn't the case anymore.

Eren barely knew half the people in the church that morning, and he'd felt sick to his stomach as he watched his dad greet every last one of them. A family of doctors, the best in the land, and they needed to protect that status with a proper marriage.

And an heiress to one of the biggest technology companies in Sina was the perfect choice.

Eren doesn't hate Clara. They'd met in university, and she'd been as shocked as him to learn their parents arranged them to marry. In a strange sense, he might love her, but not as anything more than a friend he's learned to share a life with. They've lived together for a little over a month, and his dad truly loved the benefits all of her family's technology was bringing his hospital, soon to be Eren's, but he still didn't know much about her.

Eren doesn't hate her, but he does hate this.

But his father was happy, his family's future was secure, and he was sure he could bear living with Clara for the rest of his life.

Eren was still in love with someone else, had been since the moment he met her as a kid, but he hadn't seen her since the day he broke her heart. Since the day he looked away from her, choked back his own feelings, and told her he couldn't be with her.

He didn't deserve her, not a year later, and especially not after he'd all but kicked her out of his life. Eren still didn't know where she'd gone after that day, but he never saw her in town again after that, and Armin had promised her he'd keep her location a secret.

He'd given Armin an unaddressed invitation, and Armin had wordlessly understood.

Eren didn't deserve her, and she definitely didn't deserve to watch him marry someone else, but that didn't stop him from selfishly handing the invite to Armin.

Eren had never been able to forget her, had spent countless hours talking about her and Armin to Clara, who said she adored her just by Eren's descriptions alone, had told him she wanted to meet his other best friend. He'd never said what they were before Clara came into his life, but it didn't matter.

He'd never see her again.

Eren drags his hands through his hair, ruining the styling that had taken far too long that morning with a few careful strokes of his fingers, but he didn't care. The entire ceremony was more of a formality than anything else. His life was tied to Clara's already, there was nothing left but children to continue on both family's legacies.

Eren was going to be sick.

He wished his mom was still alive, desperately wished that fucking break in almost eighteen years ago hadn't happened. Eren knew it was useless to even wish for it, useless to blame himself for not being home to help her, but his mom had always known what to do, had always been able to read him. She'd tell him to follow his heart, probably even plan a distraction with Armin.

His mom would have loved Mikasa.

There was a knock on the door, and Armin quietly tells Eren everything will start in a little under ten minutes, that he should get back inside before his father comes looking for him. Eren nods in understanding, says he's sure he can manage to stand in ten minutes, and Armin leaves, sounding only mildly convinced.

When Eren finally does look up a minute later, he's just in time to watch the last of the guests file into the chapel room, just in time to catch the sight of the same black hair that's haunted his dreams for over a year.

"Mikasa?"

Her name slips out before Eren can catch himself, before he can think about how strange her name feels on his tongue after being nothing but a memory for so long, before he can start analyzing the strange flutter in his chest, the traitor wisp of hope taking root in his heart and suffocating him slowly.

The last figure stops in the doorway, standing rigidly as Eren scrambles to his feet, and then she's shutting the door, squaring her shoulders and turning to face him.

He immediately notices her hair.

It's shorter than when he'd last seen her, the ends barely grazing her shoulders. Her jeans and faded black t-shirt looked horribly out of place for a wedding, but Eren doesn't care about her boots or her uneasy expression, (okay, maybe he cares about that,) when she was standing before him again.

When he was facing her for the first time in over a year.

"Hi, Eren."

He doesn't realize he's moving until he's right in front of her, until Mikasa slaps away his arm and holds her fingers to his chest to keep him away. And it hurts, it tears at his chest, but Eren knows exactly why she does it.

It doesn't stop the slow spread of euphoria he feels at seeing her again.

He'd known it since the moment she walked away, but he still loved her. Would never stop loving her.

But things were never that simple.

"You showed up," Eren breathes, dropping his arms when he's absolutely sure she won't let him hug her.

Mikasa shrugs, crossing her arms across her chest and staring just left of him when she answers. "I wanted to check up on Armin."

It's a lie, and Eren knows it. Knows it because Armin always brings Eren a bouquet of mismatched flowers after visiting a nearby town, visiting Mikasa, and he'd brought Eren flowers just two days ago.

Silence falls over them, and Eren wants nothing more than to gather her in his arms, to go back to the years before his father became obsessed with using Eren as a means to increase their fortune, to the years where their love was pure and carefree and Eren spent most of his afternoons trying to get Levi to smile. Trying to get Mikasa to laugh at one of his crappy jokes as they shared her too-small couch in the fading twilight.

"I miss you," he blurts, feels the burn of the tears he'd learned to control in the long few weeks after he ended things with her. "I miss you, and I know it means nothing now but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did to you-"

"You're sorry for saving my life?" Mikasa murmurs, a sad smile tugging at her lips. Her dark eyes shine, but it's not the same as before. "Eren, you were there for me when my parents died, you offered me your home before Levi found me. You were the first person I loved after them, don't ever apologize for everything you've given me."

"But I-"

"You did what you thought was right."

Eren swallows hard, searching her eyes for any clue to how she really felt, but everything she said sounded so sincere, and it rips a fresh wound onto all of his old scars.

"Now I'm not so sure."

Her composure breaks, her face contorting into something Eren can only describe as desperation. She takes a step back, but Eren reaches for her hand, laces their fingers together hastily. She does not shake him off.

"Don't-"

"Mikasa-"

"You made your choice, Eren. You can't go back and forth-"

"I'm not. I never have," he says, stepping even closer and taking it as a good sign when she stays. "I have never stopped thinking about you, about what we had, about how much I fucking love you."

Mikasa shakes her head, tears slipping down her cheeks, but she doesn't look away from him. "Your fiancée is waiting."

"I can't marry her."

It's the first time Eren's said it out loud, but he's already known it to be true, and it feels almost like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders at the announcement. He cares for Clara, but he's never loved her.

Could never love her as irrevocably as he loves Mikasa.

"I can't," Eren says again, carefully cupping Mikasa's cheek, wiping her tears with the pad of his thumb, and it's then he realizes he's crying as well. She reaches for him, as if to smooth away his own tears, only to let her arm fall at her side again. "I can't marry someone I don't love."

"You left me," she chokes out, her chest heaving as she covers her mouth with her free hand, her shoulders shaking.

"And I can never change that, but I've never stopped loving you." Eren says, gently dropping his arms to circle her shoulders, to pull her against his chest, his forehead falling against her head. Her hands curl into the back of his tux, her nose pressed into his neck, and it's simultaneously the best moment of his life and one of the worst. "I swear."

He doesn't have her back, he may never have her back, but she's here now. And for the time being, it's more than enough.

"I know, Eren."

"I'm sorry," he whispers to her hair. He doesn't ask anything of her, but tries his best to cherish every second alone they get. "I'm so, so sorry."

Eren presses a kiss to the top of her head, and she shoves him away, wiping angrily at her cheeks. She tugs on her hair, a nervous habit she'd developed shortly after her parents died, but it's too short now to do with her arms crossed again.

She looks away from him, backing away, and curls her hand around the doorknob, pointedly avoiding his gaze.

"Your fiancée is waiting."

Eren nods, gnawing on his bottom lip as he watches her open the door. He made his move, made his choice a year ago to prioritize his father, and he couldn't blame her for her own decision. He could never blame her.

He turns away from her, his slick dress shoes tapping loudly on the linoleum as he walks away from her, furiously rubbing at his eyes, and when his hand touches the door he'd come through, he hears one last thing from Mikasa.

"I love you."

And he wants to believe he knows exactly how she felt that afternoon.

But he'll never comprehend what he did to her.

Once Eren steps inside, Armin grabs his elbow, pulling him into position just in time for the fanfare and piano to begin and for the chapel doors to open, a few guests scrambling to their seats. Mikasa slips inside just before the first bridesmaid, taking the last seat available in the back row.

Eren tries to look away from her, to focus on the parade of Clara's friends and sisters walking down the aisle with men Eren didn't even know, but his eyes slip to Mikasa again and again.

She doesn't look at him.

Clara walks through last, her arm hooked through her fathers, and her dress is smooth and elegant, her red hair pinned up elaborately, but Eren can't look at her for more than a few seconds before he's staring at Mikasa again, begging her to look at him, to change her mind, to demand the wedding be called off-

Her eyes snap to his, and she offers the smallest smile Eren's ever seen, and she mouths one thing.

A name.

They met on the playground, after an incident with one of Armin's bullies when Eren had been too slow in arriving and Mikasa had received a broken nose fighting them all on her own.

He invited her to his house for the first time two weeks later, where she'd marveled at the size and extravagance while he and Armin laughed and tugged her through the long hallways.

She brought him to her house for the first time when they were fourteen, five years after they met, and he'd immediately fallen in love with her father's gentle kindness and her mother's all-encompassing love. Eren never cared about the size of her house or her parent's jobs as housekeepers, and he'd begged to go to her house more often than his, begged to spend time with the first mother figure he'd gotten close to since his own mom's death.

He was the one to find her after her parents died in that house a year later, in a fire that nearly killed Mikasa as well, if her mother hadn't pushed her through the first floor window. Eren had found her on his way there, when he'd gone looking for her after she hadn't answered her phone all afternoon, glass buried deep in her skin and blood dripping from her palms, her screams echoing so loudly Eren wasn't sure he'd ever forget the sound.

She stayed with him after that, and Eren knew, in those few short months, that she'd been more broken than he could ever imagine. And he'd done everything he could think of to try to help her.

She called him mere minutes after meeting Levi, told him exactly where her new place was, and Eren had been there hours later to be with her. That was also the first moment he realized he might be in love with her, watching her learn to live again with his and Levi's help.

She confessed first, telling him her feelings in her backyard under the stars, on the two-year anniversary of when Levi had found her.

He kissed her first, underneath those very same stars.

Eren would never tell anyone, but that was the year he'd found the perfect ring for her, so fucking sure he'd be asking for her hand in a few years time. It was also the year she told him what she wanted to name her daughter.

Years later, his father had broken the news.

And he knew, Eren knew so fucking well, so fucking deeply, that he could never be with anyone but her. That his life had been intertwined with hers since the moment they met, and that he could never forget what she meant to him.

Clara reaches him, her father kisses her hand, and then places her palms in Eren's, and the minister begins to speak. And it's silent in the room, the minister's methodical voice the only sound in the chapel as their families and friends watch, rapt, as the ceremony nears its climax.

And it's halfway through her vows that Eren finally breaks.

"I can't do this."

He interrupts her, his beating heart drowning out the shocked gasps and cries of outrage from Clara's family. The bridesmaids look confused, glancing at the minister and the guests, as if Eren's outburst could be explained in one of their expressions.

Armin curls his hand over Eren's shoulder, squeezes, and Eren knows he won't take this back.

He'd fucked up once before, but he won't make the same mistake again.

"Eren?" Clara says, staring up at him.

"I'm sorry," and he is, truly, but he also feels his heart soar, almost feels free for the first time in months. "But you deserve to marry someone who truly loves you."

Clara laughs, catching him off guard as she squeezes Eren's hands excitedly. "Oh thank God. You're great, Eren, really." She reaches behind her, and Eren's lips finally break into a smile when he sees her lace her fingers with her maid of honor.

Eren presses a kiss to her free hand, and then he's turning, stepping off the altar. He looks through so many unfamiliar faces, so many almost-relatives who tell him to go back, a sea of confusion and anger and outrageous hats, until he finally spots Mikasa standing at the opposite end of the aisle.

His dad stands, but he doesn't look as angry as Eren expected, (he can probably negotiate with Clara's family still,) and Armin's flashing him a thumbs-up and then Eren's running, tearing down the aisle to her.

Mikasa takes his outstretched hand, and together they run from the church, their laughter floating behind them as they pause at the end of the steps.

Eren pulls her close, kisses whatever parts of her face he can reach, and she's crying and so is he but they're finally tears of joy, and the children he's pictured- with dark hair and dark skin and some blend of their starkly different eyes- are a possibility; a reality.

"I love you," he says, holding her face gingerly, carefully, as if there was any chance he could lose her again.

Mikasa squeezes his waist, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him, and Eren tries to pour everything he's wanted to say into the way he moves his lips against hers, slowly and recklessly all at once.

"I love you, too," she tells him the instant they break the kiss. Mikasa doesn't let go of him as he leads her to his car, parked on the other side of the church.

Eren kisses her again, pressing her body against the side of his car and resting his weight against hers, recalling just how much he'd missed her touch during their time apart. His hand could never mimic the unique delicacy of her fingers. "God, I love you."

The entire country was open to them, thousands of miles available to claim for their own home, their own future, but there was one place in particular-

"I bought the house." Mikasa says, laughing at the way his face must've lit up. "About three months ago. Armin helped," she admits, her fingers trailing over his cheeks. "I couldn't bear to let it go to anyone else. It's still close enough to your dad, to Armin-"

"To your parent's plot."

She slides her hands into his hair, stroking her fingers through the strands as he leans over her. "What do you say?"

Eren pulls back, opening the car door to allow Mikasa inside before he jogs around to the other side, and he couldn't even try to stop smiling as he takes Mikasa's hand again, leaning across the console to kiss the corner of her mouth.

"I'm in."

The tires squeal loudly against the asphalt as they take off into traffic, finally, finally, getting the chance to start their lives together. He knows exactly where to go, exactly where to take Mikasa, no more obstacles, families or social statuses, standing in their way.


A/N: Guess what Mikasa mouthed to Eren