Summary: Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella present bad news in song (based off the Victorious episode, "Tori and Jade's Play Date"). Doofenshmirtz tries to make other people worse at playing the piano than he is.
The part at the beginning is from the Victorious episode, "Beck's Big Break."
The Pianist Project
*Backyard*
"Hey, Phineas," Isabella greeted. To her surprise, Ferb played a cheerful tune on the electric keyboard on his lap. She pointed to him. "What's he doin'?"
"Well," Phineas answered, "you know what's great about movies?"
Isabella thought about it. "Um... The popcorn?"
"Well, while popcorn is the perfect movie snack, I was referring to the music that plays in the background. It always seems to fit the scene. For instance, your presence makes me ha- I mean makes us happy, so..." A smirking Ferb played another upbeat tune.
Isabella giggled, thinking about what Phineas almost said about her making him happy. "So, where's Perry?"
Phineas turned to his stepbrother. "Ferb?"
Ferb played Perry's theme song.
"Why'd you play that?" Isabella asked.
Ferb shrugged. "Just thought it fit the scene."
*Doofenshmirtz at His Piano Lesson*
"I can't take it anymore!" The instructor shouted at a frightened Doofenshmirtz, who was sitting at a piano. "We've been at this for weeks, and you can't play a single note right!"
"But-but-but-" Doof started.
The instructor put his hands on his head. "But-but-but nothing!" He jabbed his finger in Doof's chest. "You're unteachable! I can't take this anymore!" He ran out, singing, "Tra la la la la la la la la la!"
Perry appeared next to Doof and, rolling his eyes, sighed, "Who'd you drive insane this time?"
Doof kept staring in the direction his instructor had fled. "My piano instructor."
"Piano instructor?"
Doof narrowed his eyes at Perry. "I have a life outside of you."
Doof pulled a remote out of his lab coat and pressed a button. Two piano strings came out of the instrument, wrapped themselves around Perry, and lifted him into the piano. The piano closed with the platypus inside.
"I bet you're wondering why I'm taking piano lessons," Doof said. "Wait, can-can you hear me in there?"
"Yes," an irritated Perry replied. "Yes, I can."
"Oh, good. Now, as I was saying, it all began a few weeks ago. I was out on a date with Brooke, and she mentioned that she loves piano music."
*Flashback*
Doof and Brooke were just outside of a music school. Piano tunes came from inside.
Brooke smiled and said, "I love piano music."
*End of Flashback*
Doof continued. "So, I decided to take piano lessons. Unfortunately, my instructor seems to think that I'm 'unteachable.' That's why I created this!" He pointed to a piano nearby that had a laser sticking out of the open part and a sign that read, 'Broken. Do not use.' "Behold! The bad-pi- Wait, I-I just remembered that you're inside of a piano, and you probably can't see it." He opened the piano and lifted Perry out of it. "And, now," he head up Perry The Lion King style. "Behold! The bad-pianist-inator!"
Perry was uncomfortable. "Could you put me down?"
"Oh, yeah, sure." Doof set him down. "Anyway, I'm going blast all the other pianists with it, which will make them horrible at playing the piano, making me seem talented by comparison. And, I'm sure it'll help take over the Tri-State Area somehow..." He noticed Perry skeptical look. "O-okay, so it won't help me take over the Tri-State Area, but it's still evil."
*Kitchen*
"Mom," Candace began as her mother washed dishes, "Phineas and Ferb are doing something!"
Linda rolled her eyes and turned around to face her daughter. "Candace, last time I saw them, they were playing with Ferb's electric piano. That's not exactly bustable."
"Oh, but it will be." Candace shook her fist. "It will be." (Return Policy)
"Hi, Mom, Candace," Phineas greeted as he, Ferb, and Isabella walked into the kitchen.
Candace giggled. "I suppose you guys decided to tell Mom about whatever it is you're doing?"
"You know it."
Isabella added, "They're helping me earn my delivering-bad-news patch. We agreed that songs might make bad news sound better than it actually is."
"So, we were hoping to play you guys our first song," Phineas said. "Do you mind?"
"Not at all," Linda answered.
Candace crossed her arms. "If it's bustable, then I say go for it."
Phineas ignored his sister's comment. "Ferb?"
Ferb began playing the electric piano that hung around his shoulders.
(This song is a parody of the first 'bad news song' on the Victorious episode, "Tori and Jade's Playdate," except with an electric keyboard.)
-Phineas-
This kind of news is always hard to tell someone.
-Isabella-
We really hope you don't take it too hard.
-Phineas-
Bu-ut, somebody spray-
-Isabella-
Yeah, somebody spray-
-Phineas-
Maybe, they were straight.
-Isabella-
Maybe, they were gay.
-Phineas and Isabella-
Somebody spray pa-ainted your car.
Linda clapped, but Candace wasn't amused.
Linda praised, "Great song, kids. What made you come up with that?"
"Someone actually did spray paint your car," Phineas said.
"What!?" Linda exclaimed and left to see if it was true.
Candace raised an eyebrow at her brothers. "So, all you guys are doing is making bad news sound not as bad?"
Phineas shrugged. "Pretty much."
Candace wasn't buying it. "Okay..."
*Music School*
"Now, I'll just remove this." Doof took the sign off his inator and tossed it aside. "I only put it there to keep people from using-"
Perry kicked him in the back of the head, and Doof's face slammed against the keyboard, which both broke the inator and caused it to fire.
*Buford's House*
Phineas and Isabella finished singing to Buford, who was standing on his front porch.
(Actual song from the same Victorious episode as the previous one.)
-Phineas and Isabella-
We don't mean to make you feel sad,
But sometimes you smell really bad...
Buford nodded. "Well, I'm not crazy about people thinkin' I smell, but that was a pretty good song."
"Just take more showers," Isabella suggested.
"I'm not doin' that," Buford said before heading back inside.
A green beam hit Ferb, but he was the only who noticed.
Phineas grinned at Isabella and sang, "I think someone earned her pa-atch."
Isabella returned the grin. "Thank you guys so much!"
"Anytime, Isabella," Phineas said. "We're always happy to help someone I care a- I mean, someone we care about." He and Isabella blushed and laughed sheepishly.
"Do you two need a moment?" Ferb asked.
*Music School*
"Oh, thanks a lot, Perry the Platypus," Doof scolded. "Now, how am I supposed to learn the piano? It's not like there's anyone else who'd be willing. My other instructor is probably gonna tell all his instructor friends about me, and no one will be willing to teach me. A-and, don't tell me I don't have to play piano to please my girlfriend, Perry the Platypus. I don't want to hear it."
Perry crossed his arms. "You know, Doc, I'd be willing to help out." Then he coughed, "For a small fee."
Doof looked at him skeptically. "You play piano? Prove it."
Perry sat at a piano, cracked his knuckles, and began playing Good Enough by Evanescence.
Doof was impressed. Perry the Platypus was pretty good. And, without a music sheet, for goodness sake!
Doof recognized the song. "Wait, wait, I've heard this song, before!" He pulled out a violin from seemingly nowhere and began playing it. He started singing. "Under your spell again..."
"Stop, stop," Perry begged as he stopped playing his own instrument. Doof was not a very good singer. "No offense, mate, but you're making a mockery of Evanescence. Wait, you play the violin?"
*Backyard*
After returning from Isabella's patch ceremony, the boys entered their backyard.
They stopped when Phineas said, "Hey, Ferb, I've been thinking. Maybe it's time we broke the news to Perry about us knowing he's a secret agent. Singing it would let us break it to him a little easier, right?"
Ferb confirmed his suggestion with a thumbs up. Perry crawled up to them.
Phineas took notice of this. "Oh, there you are, Perry. You couldn't have come home at a more perfect time. We wanna tell you something, and we're not sure how you'll take it." Perry didn't like the sound of that. "So, uh, just keep an open mind, okay?" Phineas looked at his step-brother. "Ferb?"
Ferb began playing his electric piano, but he was doing it poorly. He stopped, confused.
Phineas was also puzzled. "That's weird. You were playing really well, earlier. What happened?"
"I suppose my eleven minutes of fame are up," Ferb stated.
Phineas looked down at Perry, suddenly losing his nerve. "Well, uh... W-we'll tell you some other time. C'mon, Ferb. Let's go in for some pie." The boys went inside, leaving their platypus to wonder what the problem was.
Perry glanced at the audience. "They know they can tell me anything, right?"
The End
Uh, apparently they can't tell Perry anything. Review for the sake of orphans and puppies and orphaned puppies!
