Adam sat bolt upright. He was definitely awake now. "Are you sure?" He grabbed the call button and pushed it as he leapt off the bed.
When the midwife arrived Adam had already pulled back the sheets and sure enough the bed was wet. Kim had climbed out of the bed and as her contractions had gone from mild to intense rather rapidly she hunched over and grabbed her stomach. He could see the fear and panic in her face and he was pretty sure it matched his own. The midwife did another internal exam. "Well there is no stopping this now. You're about 8cm."
They moved her into the delivery suite as they called the doctor, who also did an internal. It seemed that Adam really hadn't progressed past his irrational distaste for strangers fossicking around his wife's nether regions. He furrowed his brow and bit his tongue as yet another random person stuck their hands inside her. Surely they had a good idea of what was going on by now and did every single person need to feel it themselves? "Shut up Adam." She hissed when he started complaining.
As the labour progressed Kim was strangely quiet. They walked around the room stopping only so she could lean on Adam when a contraction started, letting him rock her from side to side. The midwives tried to talk to Kim and while he knew she was listening she said nothing, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She left it up to Adam to do all the talking although she certainly let him know when he needed to shut up as well. It was all very clinical this time and they really wanted Kim to get back into bed so that they could control the labour and birth.
"No, it's not what she wants, it is too uncomfortable for her." Adam protested. The closest she got to the bed was to lean against it while they checked the baby.
"Childbirth is painful regardless." He glared over Kim's shoulder at the older midwife, Carmel who made the comment. He really didn't like her and the way she was going either Kim was going to hit her or he was going to kick her out.
"Oh really, well thanks for letting us know." He bit back sarcastically. "So it stands to reason that if there is a way Kim can ease that pain and be more comfortable then that's what we'll do." He felt Kim relax against him as the contraction eased, not that it lasted long as another contraction followed closely behind the last. "She does not want to lie down."
He knew that Kim was being somewhat challenging with her reluctance to answer any questions but the midwife didn't need to be a bitch about it. "Kim." She barked at her. "You need to listen to me. It will be easier…." He didn't even give her a chance to finish. She was really pissing him off.
"For who? You? You are not giving birth Kim is and you just said the baby is fine, so leave her alone." It was the most intense hour he had every experienced and things were moving quite rapidly, and although he had seen Kim give birth before this was different. He had to fight every step of the way to make sure Kim remained in control. They tried to give her drugs, which he refused to allow. He wasn't going to let them bully her and he felt like that's what was happening. Kim would ask for drugs if she wanted them. They even offered a C-section.
"What for?" His heart was thudding in his chest and his head was spinning. Everywhere he turned people were coming at them. Kim's head remained buried in his shoulder but he could hear her whimper 'no.' He had no idea if he was making the right choices or not, Kim was giving him nothing. He hoped that he knew her well enough to know what she would want. All along, from even before they had Polly he told her that he would do whatever he had to do to make sure they were both safe. Nothing had changed with this pregnancy; he just didn't expect it to be happening so soon. Having a premature baby was a whole different ball game and added a whole new level of fear and intensity for him.
"Your wife has been in labour all day, she is tired it might make it easier." He felt Kim stiffen.
He ignored the Midwife and asked the Doctor. "Is Kim or the baby at risk?"
"No, the baby is coping well so far." He didn't know what to listen too, his head or his heart. He wanted to do what was best for Kim and his unborn baby; he just didn't know what that was. He knew that she would want the C-section if the baby was in danger but the OBGYN assured then that the baby was doing well.
"What do you want Darlin'?" He whispered.
She muttered against his neck "No, I can do this. Adam, please. Let me do this. Let me try." She begged before another contraction came on strongly and she started rocking and groaning. They were coming in never ending waves.
"We'll keep going." He told them. "She can do this."
The delivery room was full unlike Polly's birth were it was just them and the midwife. Her OBGYN in and out and they now had two midwives, including the one he didn't like. The new midwife was much more relaxed and seemed to calm Kim down. They didn't need to do an internal when Kim suddenly declared that she needed to push because they could see the head starting to crown. The paediatrician arrived along with a NICU nurse and it completely freaked him out and it took all his energy to focus on Kim. Adam knew that a lot of people found that moment amazing, seeing their baby's head coming into the world, but quite frankly he found it horrific and preferred not to look. Fortunately the way Kim had chosen to deliver gave him little opportunity to see anything that was going on down there.
Adam was on his knees with his arms supporting her under her shoulders as Kim squatted down on the floor. She would lean back against him, her head resting on his shoulder in the brief moments between pushes. Everyone was stunned when after three strong pushes their baby was born. The newborn's startled cry filled the room. Kim collapsed against Adam and the Doctor handed their baby to its mother and they had just a brief moment together before the newborn was taken away from them.
Kim smiled through her tears. "I told you it was a boy."
"I will never doubt you again." Adam felt his own tears sliding down his cheeks. He helped Kim up off the floor and onto the bed. "I love you so much. You are incredible. I'm so proud of you." Adam held onto her face gently and stared into her tear filled eyes.
"Is he okay? Go see him." Her voice was shaking as heard the baby's gargled cries. She pushed Adam towards her baby.
He turned back when he heard Kim cry out in pain. The midwife he hated was pressing down on her stomach. "Stop." He flew back to her bedside. "What are you doing?"
"We are just helping your wife deliver her placenta." He really wished that this midwife would just fuck off. Kim gasped as she pushed down hard against her stomach again.
"You're hurting her." This hadn't happened last time, they let Kim go and it all happened quite easily and without fuss. Now they were hurting her and he went all alpha male. "Don't touch her." He hissed. "I'm warning you. If you hurt my wife…"
Kim gripped onto his hand "Adam." She begged. "Go see the baby." Reluctantly he did but not before he stared hard at the midwife. The other midwife stepped in and let Kim do it naturally and it was all over in a few minutes. He kept one eye on Kim and one on the baby. Adam nervously stood behind the Paediatrician as he examined his son, listening to him cry and seeing his skinny arms and legs flail about hoping and praying that everything was okay, he certainly sounded pissed off with the attention so that made him feel better. It took a little longer than he remembered with Polly but suddenly he was wrapped up and handed to him. A tear trickled down his cheek as he felt his son in his arms for the first time.
He carried him back to Kim and laid him in his mother's arms. "Oh Adam, look at him." Kim whispered. He slipped one arm around her shoulder and rested his other hand on the baby. He was wrapped tightly in a blanket with a beanie on his head to keep him warm but he was now calm and his eyes were big and brown like his sister's and his tiny face was all they could see as he looked up at his parents.
"He looks really good." The Paediatrician came over to the bedside. "Both his Apgar's were pretty good. We will keep an eye on him though. They do tend to drop off a little bit about an hour or so after birth when they get a bit tired. So we may take him up to the nursery as a precaution."
Kim tried to feed him and although he struggled to latch on, the midwife unwrapped him and lay him against Kim's chest so he could root around and nuzzle at her breast but he wasn't that interested so the midwife came back and tried to help by grabbing Kim's breast and the baby's head and trying to get him to attach. He didn't have the chance to tell her to stop because Kim did. "Leave him alone." She snapped.
"It's best if he feeds early."
"I know." Kim glared at her. "I know he needs to feed and he's trying. Don't touch him." Adam could see the tears in her eyes and it broke his heart. He was upset that this woman was ruining this moment for Kim. She often talked about how amazing she felt when Polly fed for the first time; it was one of her most precious memories of her first moments as a mother.
He did manage to feed a little when they were left alone and the smile on Kim's face made his heart melt. They had about an hour with him before he was taken away from them down to the nursery. Having her baby taken away from her so soon after his birth broke Kim's heart.
It was then that Kim resolve crumbled. Adam held her tightly as she dissolved into a flood of tears in his arms. This was the woman he loved beyond all reason, his best friend, his lover, his biggest supporter and the mother of his children letting out all her bottled up emotions. The last few hours had been a whirlwind of fear, expectation and elation. He hated that the time they had with their son and his birth was almost overshadowed by the unpleasant experience with the midwife.
He helped Kim into the shower and then they walked down to the nursery to sit next to his incubator for a while. His nurse got him out for a cuddle and Kim was able to offer him her breast again. He was a little too tired to suck much but she felt better that he at least showed some interest. Adam was also able to have a cuddle and it was amazing to feel his tiny son resting against his bare chest. As she covered him with a blanket to keep him warm the nurse explained what was happening with him right now. Kim rested her head on Adam's shoulder and watched her son and stroked his tiny cheek.
"The nasal prongs are just giving him a little extra oxygen, although he is doing most of it himself. They get really tired easily so this is just to give him a hand. As you can see his oxygen levels are good. He's keeping his temperature up, which is good. We have just popped a tube down to give him some milk as he might need to little time to get used to sucking." They assured Kim that he wouldn't have any other milk, except her own unless absolutely necessary. "If he keeps this up he won't be here long. I wish all my babies were as easy as he is. Does he have a name?"
"Not yet." Kim shook her head.
"You know….." Adam started with a smile, knowing full well he wasn't even going to get to finish his sentence. "We could…."
Kim looked at him sharply. "We are not calling him Adam."
The nurse chuckled to herself. "Baby boy Ruzek it is then."
Kim finally fell asleep at about 430am, but Adam couldn't sleep he was too wired. He headed back down to the nursery for a little while just to check on his boy. Kim hated leaving him alone but she was exhausted and desperately needed to sleep. He sat there beside his crib for an hour, his hand softly stroking his fingers and toes so he didn't think he was alone in his new world. He told him how lucky he was to have the mother he did, how much they loved him already and how precious he was. "I'll look after you my little man, I promise." He whispered.
When he headed back to the room he tried to lie down beside Kim without waking her but she woke as soon as she felt him next to her. Adam showed her a video of the baby. "You went back to see him? Is he okay?"
"I did and he's still doing well. I know you don't like him all alone down there. He's so beautiful Kim." They both dozed off for an hour before the midwife came in and asked Kim to express off some more milk. The more regularly she did it the quicker her milk would come in and the less likely they would have to top him up with banked milk.
Firstly they called his mother so that they could tell Polly. "How's Kim? Any news?" Janet was desperate to know what was going on. The last message they had received from Adam was a little before midnight when he assured them that the labour had slowed down and they were hoping for a peaceful night.
"She's doing well. Tired, we both are. It was a long night. Hey Kim really wants to talk to Polly, can you put her on the phone?"
He could hear his mother talking to Polly, calling her to talk to her father as he put it on speaker. "Hi Daddy."
Kim smiled when she heard her voice. "Good morning sweet pea. How are you? Mommy and Daddy miss you."
"I am having breakfast."
"We've got a surprise for you?"
"I like surprise." Polly commented while she grabbed another strawberry.
"Yes, we have a little brother for you."
"A brother." Polly commented and they both laughed at his mother's shrieking and before they could speak to Polly again she had grabbed the phone.
"You've had the baby? It's a boy? Is he okay? Is Kim okay?" she had a million questions.
"Wow, slow down Ma. Everything is fine. He's a little small but healthy and he's in the nursery at the moment just as a precaution. Kim is doing fine, we are both pretty tired though. It all went down around two this morning so we haven't got much sleep. Can you get Polly ready and bring her in?"
Kim wanted to call her parents herself and they were just as excited as Adam's mother was and Adam called his Dad to tell him about his new grandson.
Adam was flicking through some photos on his phone. He found the one he was looking for. He had taken through the side of the humidicrib and the baby's eyes were wide but he had a slight frown on his face. It was like he wasn't quite sure what was going on and why he was suddenly in this strange new world. Kim loved the photo, so he sent it to the team.
'I wonder what HE's thinking….'
A few moments later as his phone started to beep with replies he sent a follow up message. 'Obviously our son was in a rush to meet us. Ruzek 2.0 arrived at little after 2am this morning. He is doing well, as is Kim. He tips the scales at 5lbs 6oz. And despite needing to spend some time in the nursery he is a little champion.'
Platt was the first call he took. She had been checking in constantly since she had left them both at the hospital yesterday. "He's good. He's still in the nursery in a humidicrib but they are pretty happy with him and we hope to have him back with us soon. He is pretty tiny, a lot smaller than Polly was. He needed a little help breathing just so he didn't get too tired overnight but that's pretty much it. Hopefully he starts feeding properly soon. Kim's pretty tired but she's just amazing. They both are." Platt smiled to herself as he rambled on a bit.
"A Ruzek boy, just what this world needs. I guess Burgess was right, that only a boy could cause all this drama. He is obviously your son."
"I hope so." Adam agreed with a laugh. "I'll send you some more photos later."
Kim had a shower while Adam was on the phone. "You still feeling a little Alpha Male today?" Now that the euphoria had worn off Kim had slowed down considerably.
"That midwife was a bitch from the start."
"I kinda liked it." Kim giggled a little. "Seeing you all macho, beating your chest. It's pretty hot."
"Are you hitting on me?" Adam teased her.
"Maybe. Thank you for looking out for me. I know I wasn't really helpful but I couldn't focus on anything other than my baby. I'm glad you were in my corner."
"You went a little bit mother bear as well." Adam reminded her. "It was a turn on."
"Strange things turn you on. I had just given birth."
"And you thought it was hot when I went all Macho, I guess we are even." He jumped up from the chair so that Kim could lower herself into it. Not that sitting was particularly comfortable at the moment. "I will tell you something for nothing. Childbirth is hideous. I don't know how people explain it as some miracle, like the second coming. It's hot, sweaty, dirty and seeing all sorts of stuff come out of you is near on vomit inducing." He pretended to gag. "And then when they finally come out they are slimy and bloody and this startling shade of blue grey. It's not very pretty."
"But."
"But our babies are beautiful and it's hard to explain, but watching you go through all that, and it's fucking horrific I tell you, I kept thinking I can't believe you are doing this for me, not once but twice."
"Well I hope you remember it because we are not going back for a third time."
They walked back down to the nursery and Kim was able to feed him again and he seemed to be a little more alert, although she still felt that she didn't have much to offer him. The lactation consultant assured her that he was getting what he needed. The Neonatologist also stopped by while they were still visiting.
"He looks good." The doctor flipped through the baby's chart. "Has he been feeding?" she asked.
"A little, I don't know how much he is getting though." Kim commented as she was squeezing the life out of Adam's hand.
"His stomach is tiny, so he only needs a few drops to fill him up. We will keep an eye on his weight. With babies this age they can lose weight quite quickly, which all babies do when they are born, but because he is a little smaller we don't like them to go back too much. I would like to see him feeding every two hours if you can and no longer than three. His breathing seems good and all his tests came back fine. I would say we will keep him for a little longer but I see no need for anything else. Do you have any questions?"
"How long will we have to stay in hospital?" Adam wanted to know.
"It's hard to say, a few days or maybe a week, just until he is feeding fully and his weight starts to go up consistently."
"Is there anything we should worry about with his development? Is he going to have any long term problems because he was early?" Kim hated having to ask and Adam felt her hand tighten around his. This was all so foreign to them. Polly had been such a breeze from the very start of Kim's pregnancy and they just assumed, or hoped that this baby would be the same and to date nothing had gone right.
"As with any baby there are no absolutes, but I think you have a perfectly healthy little baby boy. He was just impatient to meet you."
The Neonatologist's reassurance had gone some way to ease their fears and they stayed with him until Adam's mom texted to say that she had just arrived in the car park with Polly and they headed back to their room so that Kim could be there when they came in.
Adam went down and met them as they came out of the lift. Polly ran at him and he knelt down so she could throw herself into his arms. "Hello Sweet Pea." He kissed her as he picked her up. "I've missed you. Have you been good for Nanna? Come on, Mommy really wants to see you."
Polly's face lit up when she saw Kim and Adam was barely able to hold her as she dived onto the bed and into her mother's waiting arms. "Nanna made pancakes for breakfast. Did you have pancakes too?" she asked.
"No, Daddy and I just had toast and cereal. Not very yummy at all."
Janet started asking Adam about the baby and he offered to take her down to see him while Kim stayed to spend a little more time alone with Polly. It had only been a day so Kim was surprised at how much she missed her. Perhaps it was because Kim wasn't prepared for this baby yet and was worried that Polly wasn't either. She had planned the last few weeks out carefully and Adam had laughed at her incessant research on introducing a new baby to a toddler.
After about ten minutes Janet came back alone and Kim looked a little panicked. "Where's Adam? Is the baby okay?"
"He's fine. He's so beautiful Kim. Congratulations."
A minute later "I've got something for you." Adam exclaimed happily as he was pushing the cot into the room. "He's been let out."
"My brother." Polly shrieked.
"Yes sweetie, your baby brother. Quick sit up next to Mommy and you can have a cuddle." Polly instead decided she wanted to sit in Kim's lap, which made her wince a little as she plonked herself down. If only Polly knew what Kim had just been through. To say that she was extremely tender would have been an understatement. The smile on Polly's face was precious as Adam gently laid the baby in her small arms and he had his phone ready to take a photo of the three of them.
"You know Polly, your brother even bought you a present." Kim pointed at the cupboard and Janet went and grabbed the present out and gave it to Polly. Adam took the baby back while Polly opened the gift and squealed as she hugged her new doll.
Polly declared that she wanted to get a present for the baby so Adam took her down to the gift shop while Janet stayed and had her first cuddle of her grandson. "So any ideas on a name yet?" she asked Kim, when she asked Adam he just grumbled that he was not going to be called Adam.
"We can't decide on anything. We didn't have many names for a boy and nothing that we both really loved. We had pretty much settled on a girl's name, so in typical Ruzek fashion it had to be the complete opposite. Adam was pretty adamant that it was another girl." She shrugged a little. "I guess we thought we had a few more weeks to nail one down."
Kim was feeding the baby when they got back to the room having also gone via the vending machine. Polly climbed up beside Kim and watched what was happening. She explained to Polly that she used to do this as well when she was a little baby. All the fear and anxiety Adam had felt over the last 24 hours ebbed away. His life felt pretty perfect right now.
He stayed with the baby as Kim walked Polly downstairs and out to the car. She was not happy about leaving but Kim promised her that she could come back before bedtime. Janet would drop her off at Kim's parents place after lunch and they would bring her back in after dinner and Adam would take her home tonight.
If she thought Polly looked small in her father's arms when she was born, this baby almost disappeared into his embrace. His hands were wrapped around him and he was gazing down at the sleeping infant. He still was wearing a beanie to keep his head warm and was bundled tightly in a blanket but he had managed to wiggle enough to get one hand poking out near his face. "I like the look of that." Kim commented as she hobbled through the door, she certainly felt like she had pushed a baby out of her recently, even if he was small. She leant down and kissed Adam's upturned face. "Hey, my darling husband."
"He's so little, I didn't think they came in this size."
Kim stroked his tiny fingers. "So you now have to raise a son that you would be happy for your daughter to take home to meet the parents."
"Ha. So he needs to be as awesome as me. Polly is never dating, just so you know. You can break that to her later."
Adam was glad his phone was on silent. He had 15 missed calls and nearly 30 messages. While he made Kim get some sleep he started working through all the messages. The next photo he sent out was of Polly and the baby. 'Polly and her little brother meeting for the first time. I swear they are already plotting to overthrow us. After a bumpy start and a few hours in the NICU he is back with us and we are all a little besotted.'
Lucas, Noah, Ethan, Jack, James, Oliver, Charlie, Max… they rattled through the names and rejected every one of them. Either they had arrested some idiot with that name, went to school with someone with those names or didn't like the sound of it with Ruzek and Alpha Male Adam wouldn't entertain Burgess as a surname even though Kim still kept her maiden name, particularly at work. "Max Ruzek….. sounds like a Russian spy." Adam laughed. They did like Patrick but he would probably get Paddy. "Chicago PD's answer to the Kardashians… he comes Polly & Paddy." Adam shook his head. "It sounds like a circus act." So he would spend another day as baby boy Ruzek.
Kim's parents came back with Polly just after dinner. She sat up and had another cuddle and watched in earnest as Kim changed his nappy. "What's that?" she asked pointing to his penis, which Kim answered a little too honestly for Adam's liking. Polly looked a little confused. "It's what boys have. Daddy has one too." Adam frowned when Polly decided it didn't look anything like Daddy's and Kim barely kept a straight face as she explained that it would grow bigger as the baby grew up to be like Daddy. He knew he was thoroughly unprepared for explaining the birds and the bees to his daughter and was dreading her asking anything about how the baby got out of Kim's stomach or worse still how he got in there. Explaining what a penis was never crossed his mind.
Kim handed the baby to her mother and asked Polly to come for a cuddle before she went home. This hadn't gone as planned and it looked like Kim would be in hospital for a few days rather than the one day that they hoped for so it was going to take a bit of adjusting and Kim was worried about how Polly would cope. Adam had taken a few days leave but he really wanted to be at home when Kim so his leave wasn't really starting until Kim came home. They were going to have to juggle things around for the next few days.
Adam took Polly home before she got too tired and Jay dropped by while Erin visited Kim and the baby. She was delighted to see her favourite uncle. "Polly Dolly." He swung her over his shoulder which made her squeal. Adam handed him a beer. "Congratulations mate. A boy."
"Yep. He's pretty cute. It was pretty rough there for a while but he's all good now and we are pretty happy." Polly was foraging around for something in her toy room eventually coming out with a puzzle for Jay to help her with. He slipped off the sofa onto the floor and started sorting out the pieces. Adam rested his head on the back of the chair and closed his eyes. He was pretty exhausted. If he added it all up he would have had about 3 hours sleep in the past day and a half.
"Jay. My brother has a penis." Polly suddenly declared as she tried to join two pieces together, causing Adam to spit out the mouthful of beer he just took.
"Does he?" Jay tried to hide his smirk.
Polly continued innocently. "Like Daddy, but Daddy's is bigger. Do you have one too?"
Jay nodded and laughed. "Is it little like the baby?" Polly didn't stop there. "Or big like Daddy's? Did it grow?"
"Okay Polly, that's enough." Adam laughed as Jay could barely keep a straight face. "How about we go have a bath and get ready for bed."
"No." she cried defiantly as she grabbed all the puzzle pieces from the floor. "No."
"Come on Polly, it's time for bath and bed… but you can sleep in Daddy's bed tonight. How's that sound?" The puzzle was instantly forgotten as she took off up stairs for a bath before she came back down and dragged Jay upstairs to read her a story.
"Man, that was the funniest shit I've heard." Jay laughed as he came back downstairs. "Your girl is a star, although I think she is a little young to be thinking about penis sizes."
"I am more than a little disturbed. I may have to bring home the long guns early than expected."
Once Jay left he called Kim. "Thank you very much." He told her sarcastically.
"For what?"
"Your daughter decided to talk about penis's tonight. Apparently mine is bigger than her brother's and she also asked Jay about his." Kim couldn't stop laughing. "Seriously Jay thought it was hysterical. She's now asleep in our bed. She can keep me company. I miss you, both of you."
"I want to come home."
"I want you here too. I love you, you know."
They chatted about the baby for a bit and organised their movements for tomorrow. Kim told him to get some sleep, knowing how exhausted he was. He had been with her constantly the past two days and he was such a doting father to their little girl. She knew he was conflicted and trying to figure out how to be in two places at once, she could hear it in his voice and felt it in his farewell kiss. He wanted to make sure that Polly was okay and he wanted to be with Kim and the baby. "Right back at you."
Polly thrashed about all night. For a little girl she certainly spread herself out in bed and she was awake before Adam really wanted her to be. Fortunately she still was not really a morning person so he got a few more minutes of cuddles before she was fully awake. His phone rang beside him and he saw Kim's name flashing. "Hey Darlin'. What's up?" he blinked at the clock, it was almost 7am.
"Nothing. I was just checking in. How's Polly?"
"Do you want to talk to her?" He flicked it over to face time and let Polly talk to her mother. She chatted for a few minutes, mainly about Jay coming over and sleeping in Daddy's bed. He talked to Kim for a little while longer while Polly disappeared into her own room. The baby had been feeding pretty well and he was going to be weighed again this morning. "Are you bringing Polly in today?"
"Yep. And then I have to drop into work to sign some reports. I am sure they will be happy to see Polly, although if she starts talking about dicks again I am outta there. Could you imagine her asking Voight about the size of his dick? I would have to quit."
"Don't let her near Platt either. That's one conversation I don't want to have to explain."
