Off the Hook (Part II)
"Good day, everyone!" said Bob, "I'm Bob the Cat."
"And I'm Caesar the Ape," said Caesar, "And we're here live at the final day of this year's fishing tournament!"
"Many of the competitors are arriving as we speak," continued Bob, "There are many newcomers this time around, though there are still some familiar faces, such as Pascal, five-time winner of this popular event!"
"And speaking of which," said Caesar, "Here he comes!"
As Pascal arrived at the scene, several villagers, mostly female, crowded around him.
"Pascal!" said Opal, "Can I have your autograph?"
"Sure thing, maaaaan," said Pascal, as he scribbled his autograph into her notebook, "I appreciate all the love here! Love is like sugar…Without it, life would be too bitter!"
"You're so wise," said Savannah, "How is it even possible?"
"Anything is possible," said Pascal, "You just gotta believe, maaaan!"
Meanwhile, CJ and Curt watched from afar.
"Blech!" said Curt, "Look at that fucking loser! I can't believe the girls are falling for that shit! Wait 'til they see me kick me his ass!"
"Speaking of girls," began CJ, "Where are Sakura and Lindsay? They said they'd be here!"
"Oh God," sighed Curt, "Look!"
Curt pointed at the crowd that surrounded Pascal. Among them were Sakura and Lindsay.
"Tell us more of your philosophy," said Lindsay, "Pretty pleeeease?"
"No prob," said Pascal, "A wise man once said: 'Life is just what you dream when you're dreamin'.'"
"So true," said Sakura, "So true."
"Now," said Pascal, "How 'bout hookin' an otter up with some shells?"
Sakura and Lindsay both pulled seashells from their pockets and handed them over to the otter.
"Right on," said Pascal, as he took the shells, "I hope to see you girls later. Right now, I got some fishin' to do!"
Pascal walked off.
"Oh my God," said Lindsay, "Have you ever met anyone so smart and handsome before?"
"I know," said Sakura, "Did you see when he took our seashells? He totally touched my hand!"
"He touched mine, too!"
"EEEEEEEEEEE!"
As Sakura and Lindsay screamed like little school girls, Curt continued to watch.
"I can't believe he even has them under his spell," said Curt, "Well, no more. Where's Chip? I gotta go get my vest!"
"CJ?" said a voice, "Hey CJ! Over here!"
"Huh?" asked CJ.
Just then, CJ's boss, Mr. Hopper, walked over to where CJ and Curt were standing. He was wearing a small sun hat, and a blue puffy vest.
"Sir?" said CJ, "What are you doing here?"
"What's it look like?" asked Mr. Hopper, "Fishing! I've entered the tourney this year! It's my first one!"
"Interesting," said CJ, "I didn't know you were into fishing."
"Normally I'm not," said Hopper, "But I've made a resolution to try new things and participate in as many village activities as I could. Life is short after all!"
"Uh-huh…"
"How's your vacation so far?"
"Actually, today's my last day. I start again tomorrow, remember?"
"Right, right…It'll sure be great to have ya back! Well, I gotta go! The fish await!"
Hopper ran off.
"Not looking forward to tomorrow," muttered CJ.
"Meh," said Curt, "He doesn't seem that bad!"
Later, as the fishing tourney began, all the contestants gathered around a small podium as Chip, the tournament host, made a small speech.
"Nyuk, nyuk," announced Chip, "Welcome to the fishing tourney everyone! The rules are pretty simple. Catch a fish before 6:00 tonightand submit it to me! Make sure it's a bass though, because that's all we accept here! You can come to me as many times as you want. I'll only keep the biggest fish you've caught. And this year, I expect the fish much bigger than last year (Thanks to all that toxic waste we dumped), nyuk!"
The audience simply sat there, quietly.
"Well?" said Chip, "Whattya waiting for? Get fishing, and good luck to everyone!"
Quickly, the contestants ran off to find spots by the edge of the large river that passed through town. Others took spots near the ocean shore. Curt had trouble finding a good place.
"Damn," said Curt, "I can't fish with all these people around."
"Try the ocean," suggested CJ.
"Nah man," said Curt, "Sea bass are large, but the largest ones swim upstream into the town's water supply to mate. I need to fish at a river!"
"Ah," said CJ, "I see you have been doing your research!"
"All here in the manual," said Curt, holding up a fishing magazine.
Unsurpisingly, the picture of Pascal on the front cover was vandalized by Curt.
"Er, yeah," said Curt, putting the magazine away, "Still helpful, though. Did you know that coelacanths are called 'living fossils' because of how long they've been around?"
"Yeah, yeah," said CJ.
"And did you know red snappers…"
"Focus, man! You got a tourney to win!"
"Right."
Curt eventually found a spot and settled down. He placed a beach blanket on the grass and sat on it, before casting his rod. Curt waited patiently for a fish to bite.
"Ugh," said Curt, "They better start biting soon!"
"What did you expect?" said CJ, "
"Your boss over there seems to be having better luck," Curt pointed at Hopper, who was fishing in a nearby spot.
"Oh, boy!" said Hopper, "A bite! I can't believe I already got one!"
Hopper reeled it in, only to discover it was actually an old tin can.
"Aw, man," said Hopper, as he tossed aside the tin can, "It's okay. It was just my first anyways."
"Heh," chuckled Curt, "That was probably my can from earlier."
"Listen," said CJ, "Since I don't feel like waiting around, I'm gonna find Sakura and Lindsay and head off for lunch. Want anything?"
"No thanks," said Curt.
"Good luck then," said CJ.
For the next couple of hours, Curt sat by the edge of the river, waiting for a fish to bite. Every now and then, CJ, Sakura or Lindsay would pass by and give Curt food, or other supplies. Eventually, Curt got a bite.
"Oh boy," said Curt excitedly, "Finally!"
Curt reeled it in. It was a bass, though it was quite small. Nevertheless, Curt took it to Chip.
"Sorry, buddy," said Chip, "But it's too small, nyuk! Only 9 inches. I think ya got yourself a baby or something!"
"Aw, come on, man!" said Curt, "I've been waiting for hours for this? Please, it's gotta be worth something!"
"Sorry," said Chip, "But only if you beat Pascal's current record, will you get a small prize, nyuk nyuk! You don't mind if keep this baby, though? It sure looks appetizing, nom, nom!"
Just then, Pascal approached Chip and handed him a large bass.
"Check it out, maaaaan," he said, "Another big one!"
"A big one indeed," said Chip, as he measured the fish, "You beat your previous best! I guess that means you get a small prize!"
"Far out," said Pascal, as he grabbed a bag from Chip, "I hope it's a dictionary. Ever read the dictionary before? It's got everything in it, maaaan!"
"No, but I look forward to it," said Chip, "Keep at it. You're well on the way to winning this thing."
Pascal walked off, whistling a tune. Curt gave him the evil eye and waved his fist at him. Just then, Lindsay and Sakura approached Curt, still ogling Pascal.
"Wow," sighed Lindsay, "Isn't he just awesome? I mean, he's so smart, and he's a great fisherman!"
"And look at those abs," said Sakura, "It certainly doesn't hurt that he's so rugged…Rrrrrr!"
"Seriously, girls," said Curt, "I need some support here!"
"Fine, fine," said Sakura, "How's it going so far?"
"Shitty," said Curt, "My fish was only 9 inches. I gotta try again."
"Well," said Lindsay, "Maybe you should try another spot. Some people dropped out and there's more free space now!"
"I'll check it out," said Curt.
Curt ran back to his spot and grabbed the beach blanket off the ground. Meanwhile, in the distance, Hopper was still fishing in his spot.
"This is it," said Hopper, anxiously, "I feel it this time, I…"
Hopper reeled in his line. It was a dirty boot. Hopper sighed and tossed the boot into the pile of crap he fished out in the last two hours.
Curt eventually found a new spot at the edge of the docks. Curt caught a few more bass, but none of them even came close to the ones he saw Pascal hand in, so he simply tossed them back.
"So boring…" whined Curt, "I thought this golden rod was supposed to help me! Maybe I should just quit."
As Curt continued to wait, his head began to droop and his eyes closed. All that excitement from this morning made Curt exhausted. It wasn't long before Curt was completely asleep.
"Curt," said a voice, "Cuuuurt…"
"Wha?" said Curt, "Who's there?"
"It's meeeee," said Poncho, "Your frieeeend!"
"Poncho?" said Curt, "Where am I?"
"You're having a dreeeeam," replied Poncho.
"Why are you talking like that?" asked Curt.
"I don't know," replied Poncho, "I'm supposed to be a ghost or some shit like that. Why are you so glum?"
"Fishing sucks," said Curt, "I haven't caught anything halfway decent!"
"I thought you didn't care about winning," said Poncho, "Remember when we were preparing to enter? All we cared about was having a good time at the tourney!"
"That's the problem! Without you here, this tourney's nothing! I'm alone and bored and sucking hard!"
"I feel ya. I wish I was there too. But now that you're here, I need you to try your best, or all of our effort is wasted! I don't care if you win or lose, and neither should you!"
"You're absolutely right, man. I gotta stick this shit out 'til the end!"
"That's my man!"
Poncho and Curt high-fived.
"Now," began Poncho, "Get back to the tourney so you can avenge me! Aveeeenge meeeee!"
"Avenge you?" asked Curt, "What for?"
"Bope," shrugged Poncho, "Since I'm a ghost in your dream I figured I'd take this opportunity to say something I've always wanted to say!"
"Nice."
And with that, Poncho vanished.
"Mmmmm," moaned Curt, who was slowly waking up, "What? Where am I…"
The rod began moving. A fish had taken the bait.
"Damn," said Curt, quickly snapping out of it, "Gotta reel!"
But it was too late. Whatever that fish was, it was not only gone, but it took Curt's lure.
"NOOOOO!" yelled Curt, "ARGH! My lure! I lost my fucking lure!"
Curt stood up and angrily threw his rod to the floor.
"You okay, maaaan?" asked a voice.
Curt turned to the source of the voice: Pascal.
"Y-You?" asked Curt.
"I was fishing nearby and I heard ya scream," said Pascal, "Need some help, there?"
"Nah," said Curt, "It's just some dumb fish ran off with my lure."
"Fish don't run, maaaan," chuckled Pascal, "They ain't got legs!"
"God," thought Curt, "I just wanna punch this pretentious fuck in the face."
"Here," said Pascal, handing over a lure, "Take this thing. I don't need it anymore."
"Huh?" said Curt, "You're giving me your lure? Just like that?"
"Long ago," began Pascal, "Some dude gave me this lure after I lost mine. I'm just payin' it forward. Like I always say: 'When you pay it forward, everybody profits'!"
"That," said Curt, wiping a tear from his eye, "Is so beautiful…I'll remember that!"
Curt grabbed the lure.
"No prob, maaaan," said Pascal, "I gotta get back to my spot. Later."
Curt watched as Pascal walked off and then stared at the lure he gave him. It seemed Pascal wasn't such a bad guy after all.
Then it hit him! The reason Curt wasn't having any fun is because he was treating the fishing tourney like some useless competition between him and a guy he never had a reason to hate. There was something Curt had to do.
Curt grabbed his stuff and ran back to his original spot. In the distance, Hopper was still in his spot, fishing. Next to him was a big pile of trash.
"Oh yeah!" shouted Hopper, as he tugged on his line, "Here we go! This one's gonna be big, I can feel it!"
This time, it was a tire.
"Awww," said Hopper, "Oh well, at least it's big!"
Curt suddenly ran up to Hopper's spot and cast his line.
"Hey!" snapped Hopper, "This is my spot! What are…"
"Chillax," said Curt, "I'm here to help! I'm gonna show you how it's done! You gotta pay attention to the shadows!"
"Oh," said Hopper, "Hey, there's one! And it looks big!"
The large shadow made its way towards the lure. With all their might, Hopper and Curt grabbed the fishing rod together and pulled it towards the shore. When it was close enough, Curt reeled it in.
"Hot damn!" said Hopper, "Now that is a big fish!"
"It must be like, 30 inches!" said Curt, "Here, go hand it in!"
"But," said Hopper, "You caught it, not me! You should take the prize!"
"Naw, man," said Curt, "It was your spot. I was just trying to help. Today, I learned that fishing isn't about competition, it's about having fun. And I've had my fun, now go have yours!"
"Awesome! Thanks!"
With that, Hopper ran to Chip's booth.
"Nyuk, nyuk!" announced Chip, "The last fish have been submitted and now, it's time to announce the winner!"
With the tourney over, everyone in the crowd waited anxiously for the results.
"With a 28-and-a-half incher, the winner of the final week of this year's Summer Fishing Tourney is...Pascal, once again! Your prize will be in the mail!"
"Far out, maaaan," said Pascal, "I can't wait!"
"Oh, well," said Hopper, "I guess my fish wasn't as big as I thought..."
"WHAT?" demanded Curt, "How the fuck does this guy do it? Augh!"
"Maybe this isn't the best time to tell you this," began CJ, "But that golden rod isn't actually real. It's just a regular rod spray painted gold and I asked Serena to give it to you."
"Why would you do that?" asked Curt.
"To lift your spirit," replied CJ, "To show you that you had the skills all along. I guess it kinda worked…Too bad you still couldn't win."
"Yeah, well," began Curt, "I kinda figured it was fake. It's chipping."
"Anyways, I'm heading home," said CJ, "I got a long day at work tomorrow. At least your little gesture put Mr. Hopper in a good mood so my first day back won't be so bad. I guess I owe you for that."
CJ left. The crowd was beginning to thin out.
"Hey, man," said Poncho, arriving in a wheelchair, "Looks like I got here just in time to hear the winner!"
"Poncho?" said Curt, "They let you go early?"
"They said I was looking a little better and that I'm not contagious or anything."
"Okay, but what's with the wheels?"
"I convinced the doctors that my legs went numb from all that lying down I did. Isn't it cool? I wanna go pop some wheelies after!"
Poncho did a spin in his chair.
"Sweet," said Curt.
"So Pascal won again, huh?" asked Poncho, "That sucks."
"I guess…" began Curt, "At least I had fun, and I learned an important lesson!"
"What?"
"Not sure, but I fell asleep at one point and I had this cool dream and you were in it. You were some kind of ghost and you were giving me advice and shit."
"Did I say, 'Aveeeeenge meeeee!'?"
"Hell yeah, you did! It was awesome!"
"Sweeeet. Hey, let me see your golden rod!"
"It's fake," said Curt.
"Really?" said Poncho, "Awww...Wanna go throw it at Serena?"
"Let's go!" said Curt.
As the two walked off, Curt took out the lure Pascal gave him and tossed it to the floor. Later, Kapp'n arrived and picked up the lure. As he held it in his hand, he watched Curt and Poncho walking away into the sunset.
"Aye," said Kapp'n, "The curse of Pascal lives on. But though the boy failed to beat the otter, he leaves with a far greater reward. Perhaps, there's more to fishin' than what I thought…"
"Yeah," said Chip, who was standing behind Kapp'n, eating one of the bass, "There's also gutting, cleaning, and of course, eating, nyuk, nyuk!"
Kapp'n shook his head at Chip before walking off.
"Nyuk, nyuk," said Chip, waving, "See you all again next week!"
