Chapter 27:
What Color Roses (and other wedding preparations)
The next day they were at the Acme Cathedral setting up for the wedding, and this time Bugs and Lola were in charge.
Yosemite Sam ran over to Bugs with a box of dynamite. "Where do ya' want these rabbit?"
Bugs eyed the dynamite. "Sam, as much as I'd like to we can get sued for blowing up the church." He thought. "How about ya' set somethin' up without blowin' up the place or murdering anyone?"
Sam gave him a thumbs up. "Got it."
Melissa and Penelope ran over to Lola. "Lola, what kinds of flowers do you want?" Melissa asked.
"Roses right? Those are the flowers of love," Penelope said.
Lola nodded. "I definitely want roses. Lilacs are pretty too." She picked an orange flower out of the vase next to her. "And tiger lilies."
Melissa nodded. "Road Runner!" she called.
Road Runner ran over to them.
"Can you run down to the florist and place and order for fifty roses, lilacs, and tiger lilies?" Melissa asked.
"Why stop at fifty?" Lola said. "Make that one hundred roses, lilacs, and tiger lilies!"
Road Runner saluted them. "Right! See ya'." He ran out the door. "Beep! Beep!"
Wile E. started to run after him but Lola grabbed him by the neck. "Can't you stop chasing after that bird for fifteen minutes?"
"Well as a matter of fact I…"
Lola sighed. Why did she bother asking? She figured the answer would be no. "Don't answer that. I have another job for you anyway."
She led him to the back of the room where she had thick white sparkling streamers with roses attached to them sitting on one of the seats. "Hang these up. It'll keep your mind off chasing Road Runner around."
Wile E. picked up the streamers. "Yes ma'am."
Sylvester, Daffy, and Porky were trying to put up the arch over the altar but they were having a little trouble putting it together.
"Porky that goesth here. No not there! Here!" Daffy instructed.
Sylvester picked up the instructions while trying to hold up one side. "Daffy did you even read the instructions?"
Tweety Bird flew over to them and sat on top of the half finished arch just to tease Sylvester. "Having fun putty tat?"
Sylvester licked his lips. He tried to resist the urge not to reach up and grab Tweety.
Daffy saw Tweety. "Sly, if you let go I sthwear!" He glanced at Porky. "No! Put that piece here!"
"Y-y-you just said put it h-h-h-h-here!" Porky complained. It was pretty clear by now that Daffy had no idea what he was doing.
Tweety smiled and decided to have a little fun while he was there. "I'm right here putty tat. Don't I look just delicious?" He pulled some salt out of nowhere and started to sprinkle it on his head.
Sylvester closed his eyes and silently counted to ten. "Must…resist…the delicious…bird."
Bugs came over to them noticing they were struggling. "Can I help in any way here?"
"Y-y-y-y-yes! D-d-d-daffy doesn't know what the h-h-h-h-h…devils den he's doing!" Porky said.
Daffy snatched the instructions out of Sylvester's hand. He held the paper close to Porky's face and pointed to Section Q 42-a. "Right here! It sthpecifically sthays that you are doing it wrong. R-o-n-g wrong! Now sthop complaining and listhen to me!" Daffy pulled out a piece of the arch that was not meant to be pulled out. Then the whole thing collapsed on them and Sylvester made a grab for Tweety. Bugs grabbed his tail and Tweety flew away.
Porky glared at Daffy. "A-a-a-a-a-are you happy now?"
Bugs stood up and brushed himself off. "You spelled 'wrong' wrong."
Daffy adjusted his beak, which was now slightly lopsided. "Shut up okay, just shut up!"
Lola, Melissa, and Penelope sat on the floor watching everything going on around them. Wile E. just fell off the ladder, the arch Daffy, Porky, and Sylvester were putting up collapsed, and Yosemite Sam was experimenting with his dynamite and bombs.
"This is utter chaos," Lola said.
"Don't worry. They're gonna pull all this off. They always do," Penelope assured her. "Trust me. It was worse than this before Daffy's last wedding."
"So who are the bridesmaids and stuff?" Melissa asked.
"You two of course and my cousin Miranda. Jr. is the ring bearer Bugs' niece is the flower girl."
Road Runner ran over to them.
"That was fast," Melissa commented.
"So when are we getting those flowers?" Lola asked.
"Friday if that's alright," Road Runner said.
"Friday's fine," Lola said.
"She said we're wringing her dry of flowers. If you'll excuse me I have to go torture that stupid coyote," he ran over to Wile E.. "Beep! Beep!" Wile E. fell off the ladder again.
The next morning Daffy, Porky, Wile E., and Sam were sitting at the front of the cathedral.
"Watch this," Sam said.
Daffy sat back with a bored expression. "Does it involve blowing up the church?"
"Shut up ya' ugly varmit!" Sam said. He pulled out a remote with a big red button in the middle.
"Wow Sam's gettin' technical," Wile E. said sarcastically.
"I said SHUT UP!" Sam said. He pressed the button. Bombs shot out of the four cannons in each corner of the room and exploded in the air.
But one fell on Daffy's lap. He stared at it. "Mother." Then it exploded and Daffy was reduced to a pile of ashes. Once he was back to normal he stomped over to Sam and looked down at him. "You stupid…"
Sam held up one finger. "Hold on." He went to go get a chair. He didn't liked people looking down on him like a child. He liked to have authority. He came back with the chair and stood on it now looking Daffy directly in the eye. "Continue."
"As I was sthaying, ahem. You sthupid little cowboy! You can give sthomeone a heart attack like that! What if the church were to blow up! Thisth is that rabbitsth sthpecial day and no sthupid little mentally challenged cowboy is gonna ruin it for him!" Daffy turned his back on Sam. "And you can take that to court!"
Suddenly everyone heard the crunch of a carrot. "Wow Daff I didn't know you cared." No one had noticed but Bugs had been standing in the doorway the whole entire time. He started to walk towards them.
Daffy's eyes got wide. Bugs wasn't supposed to hear that! "No wait! I didn't mean…you weren't sthupposed to…I never said…aw forget it!" He stomped out of the cathedral. "I don't need this. I'm gonna go get a sthoda." He said some profanity about rabbits and bombs and Sam. Then they heard the door slam.
A light bulb went off above Bugs' head. He looked up at it and turned it off. "Sam can you make exploding balloons so that when they shoot out of the cannons they explode and surprise everyone?"
Sam nodded, the gears in his mind that were fixated on blowing things up started turning. "That can be arranged."
Bugs bit that carrot again and sat down. "By the way, it's nice that you're finally catching up with technology."
Sam shot his gun. "I swear rabbit one of these days!" When Bugs said things like that it made Sam wonder why he even helped him.
Daffy came back with a Cherry Coke from McDonalds.
"That was fast," Wile E. commented.
Porky remembered something. He pulled a black satin box out of his pocket. "Here Bugs."
Bugs took the box. "Gee Porky I'm flattered. But unfortunately I'm already engaged."
Wile E. rolled his eyes. "Just open it."
Bugs opened the box and inside were two golden wedding rings with a carrot engraved onto each one. Bugs looked at them. "You guys bought these?"
Wile E. nodded. "We weren't gonna make you pay for everything."
"I-I-I-It was Daffy's i-i-i-idea," Porky said.
Daffy slurped his soda loudly and pretended to look at the decorations they'd put up the day before.
Bugs smiled. "Daffy, this was your idea?"
Daffy looked at Bugs out the corners of his eyes. "Well…it wasn't entirely my idea."
Bugs smirked at him. Then he looked at the rings touched that they'd go through all that for him. And then they paid extra to have the carrots engraved into them. He looked back at them. "Wow. Thanks guys."
Porky waved it off. "Aw. I-i-i-it was n-n-n-n-n-n-nothin'."
Bugs came into the basement when he heard music playing. Lola was facing the wall that was actually just a big mirror, dancing. Bugs often found her down there either dancing or making something up. He would've said something but she looked so beautiful and focused and didn't want to interrupt her. She didn't like to admit it, but Lola was beautiful and graceful whether she liked it or not.
At the end of the song she struck a dramatic pose. Bugs clapped. Lola walked over to him out of breath. "You saw that?"
"Yeah."
"It had to have been terrible, I just made that up a few hours ago."
"No really Lo, it was good. I don't know what you do better, basketball or dance." Lola gave a modest smile. "Is this what you've been doing all morning?"
"Pretty much. Hey what time is it?"
"Almost twelve thirty, why?"
"Oh shoot, I have to pick up my dress!" She gave him a quick kiss then ran upstairs.
"Can I come?" Bugs called.
"No!"
Lola had been dreading this day. This was the day she had to go back to John Philip au Farrare's shop. She'd put it off long enough and now she had to get those dresses. Luckily she was able to force, uh, persuade Melissa and Penelope to come with her.
They pulled into the parking lot of the glass building. "Let's just grab those dresses, pay him, and leave," Lola said.
"I don't know, I think I want to try on some of those dresses. It looks fun," Melissa said remembering how Farrare had tortured Lola a couple weeks ago.
Lola glared at her. "Look, you can come here on your own time! All I want to do is go in and out."
Melissa picked up her purse and got out of the car. "Fine. Suit yourself Lola."
Inside that same lady that looked like she'd had a lot of work done, Madam Lumpierre, was at the front desk. She was on the phone with some client. "LISTEN LADY, WE'RE OUT OF STOCK!" She slammed her fist onto the desk. "IF YOU WANT THOSE CLASSIC PINK PUMPS YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT!...GOOD DAY TO YOU TOO!" When she saw them the composed herself. "How may I help you?"
Lola stepped forward. "I'm here to pick up my dresses from Farrare."
Madam Lumpierre looked through a record book. "Name?"
"Lola Bunny."
Madam Lumpierre remembered when Lola had called her "Lumpier." "Ah yes. Mr. Farrare has told me all about you. Same room as before."
"Thanks. And uh, how long is this going to take because I really…" she was going to say "don't want to be here" but decided against it.
"Mr. Farrare is an unpredictable man. I can't quite answer that question."
"Oh okay. Thank you Madam Lumpierre," Lola said making it a point to get her name right.
Upstairs they stood outside of Farrare's office. Lola took a deep breath and started to knock but before she could the door opened. There stood Farrare in a sky blue suit, slicked back hair, Bulgarian shoes, and dark sunglasses. "Mademoiselle's I was expecting you! Come in se vous plais!"
They stepped inside. He gestured to the couches. "Please take the load off." They sat down. "I know why you're here. You want your dresses!" He went to the back closet.
There was a lot of noise that sounded like boxes falling, things hitting the walls, a cat…a cat? The girls looked at each other then back at the closet. A mannequin fell on the floor and was pulled back in. Then Farrare came back out with four mannequins. One was wearing the brides dress and the others had on the bridesmaids dresses.
Farrare gestured to them proudly. "Ta-da!"
Lola stood up. "Great so how much is…"
Farrare shushed her. "When I say ta-da you clap okay? Ta-da!"
The girls clapped.
Farrare bowed. "Thank you! Thank you!"
Lola stood up again and pulled out her checkbook. "So how much is this?"
Farrare snapped his fingers and the dresses were off the mannequins and appeared in bags on the clothes rack. He turned back to Lola who was staring with wide eyes. "That's $800 ma'am."
Lola wrote the check and handed it to him. Then she took the dresses off the rack. "Thanks." She turned to Penelope and Melissa. "C'mon you two."
Farrare turned to Penelope. "Now Miss Pussycat if you need anything just call me okay?"
Penelope nodded. Her face was turning redder by the second. "Yes Mr. Farrare. Thank you."
"Miss Duck how about you come in on Friday around elevenish. We'll talk then."
Melissa brushed a strand of auburn hair from her face.. She looked like she'd explode from excitement. "Okay Mr. Farrare."
"Oh and Miss Bunny, am I invited to the wedding?"
Lola wanted to say "HECK NO!" The idea of her wedding turning into Vibe magazines next swimsuit edition still haunted her dreams. She made an "I'll call you" gesture.
For the next ten minutes Melissa and Penelope were babbling about Farrare. Finally Lola couldn't take it anymore. "What do you two see in him?"
"He's just awesome," Penelope said.
Lola rolled her eyes and looked out the window. She hoped she never saw that man again.
"AAAAHHH!"
Bugs snapped up in bed when he heard Lola scream. She was next to him with her red face in the pillows screaming at the top of her lungs. "Lola wake up!" He shook her. "Wake up Lola!" She continued to scream. "Lola wake up!" Lola jerked up breathing heavily. She collapsed into him and cried. Bugs held her in his arms and comforted her. "Shh, don't cry Lola. It's okay." After completely soaking the shoulder of his t-shirt she stopped crying.
"Did you…have that dream again?" Bugs asked.
Lola nodded. "Yes." She didn't understand it, she hadn't had that dream in forever and now it decided to come back. "It's terrible. And knowing it's them makes it even worse."
Bugs didn't quite know exactly what to say so he just held her in his arms. After a few minutes he said, "You should get some sleep."
"I can't. I don't wanna see that again. You go to sleep, you look like you're gonna pass out."
"I'll stay up with you."
Lola sighed. "I wish my dad was here to see me get married. He would've liked you."
"What about the others?" Bugs asked.
"I hardly knew them. And they got rid of me anyways." She decided right then that if they had kids, she'd love them more than anything and they wouldn't turn out like she did, parentless with an evil "mother."
They stayed up for a few hours. Talking, watching Scrubs, discussing their wedding. They felt like they'd pass out.
"Bugs, go to sleep," Lola said. "I'm fine, honest."
Bugs yawned and his eyes started to droop. "No, Lola I'm fine…I don't need to…(yawn)…" Bugs fell back on the bed and was soon snoring. Lola fell asleep a few minutes later, luckily she didn't have the dream again.
That Saturday the church was completely set up for the wedding. The flowers were arranged, the streamers were up, the place just sparkled and it looked just plain gorgeous.
They stood in the doorway and admired their work.
Bugs bit a carrot and nodded.. "We did well everyone."
"I say I will admit it turned out pretty good," Foghorn Leghorn said.
Wile E came outside with the Guiness World Records book. "Hey you guys we got in the book!"
"No way, your crazy idea actually worked for once?" Lola said.
"Well…not exactly. The sand castle didn't get us in, it was the mote. We won for the deepest sand castle mote," Wile E explained.
"Well, at least we're in," Tweety Bird said.
"Ben and Jerry's anyone?" Porky asked.
Everyone let out yes' and yay ice creams'. Then they headed outside.
Suddenly there was a splash and then a scream from Melissa. Everyone turned and saw Daffy Duck standing behind them with a devious look on his face and a water balloon in his hand.
"You know Daffy there are other ways to flirt with your girlfriend. You don't have to throw water balloons at h…" Bugs said. Daffy hit him in the face with a blue water balloon. Everyone laughed. Bugs looked at Daffy with a positively evil look. He ran over to Daffy.
Daffy ran. "Uh oh."
"DAFFY DUCK I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!" Bugs shouted.
Melissa grabbed a water balloon and ran after Daffy too. Everyone else grabbed water balloons and threw them at each other just for the fun of it.
