Chapter 29 - Feel So Close
"I feel so close to you right now. It's a force field. I wear my heart upon my sleeve, like a big deal. Your love pours down on me, surrounds me like a waterfall. And there's no stopping us right now. I feel so close to you right now,,"
*Riley*
My Mind was only emptied for a few minutes - and when the hospital came into view. My heart broke again, and it took my whole body not to break down in the middle of the road. I turned in the hospital parking lot, and i parked. I held in my tears and Jorel and I got out of the car. We walked into the hospital, where Mrs. Bagans met us at the entrance.
"Riley.." She began, and took me in a hug. Tears ran freely.. but I held in my gasping breath. I was upset, wait, no,. More than upset.;I was devastated. My heart was breaking as she held me, "Calm down Riley. He's in a stable condition. That's what the doctors say, come with me. Who's this?" Mrs. Bagans said as she let me go, looking at Jorel.
"I'm Jorel." He smiled. He extended his hand, and shook Mrs. Bagan's hand smiling. "It's nice to meet you. I'm not in any way in a relationship with Riley, we just live together. And occasionally sleep in the same bed." Jorel laughed.
"Well, Thats interesting." Mrs. Bagans laughed.
"He's a liar." I said. "He's a dumb person, Let me tell you." Mrs. Bagans shook her head and smiled at me.
"Well," Mrs. Bagans laughed, "I see you have a very 'special' friendship." I laughed and Jorel smiled at me.
"We do." Jorel laughed loudly and Mrs. Bagans grinned,
"If you will follow me." Mrs. Bagans said quietly. Her sadness got worse and worse as we neared Zak's room. "He's still sleeping - but, he can hear everything you say. He just can't respond."
I nodded understanding, and Mrs. Bagans added, "You can go in by yourself if you'd like. I'll just tell them your his wife."
"But I'm not." I said to her, my eyebrows raised. "How do yo-"
"Everybody has seen you two on covers of every magazines in America. I'm sure they'll believe me." Mrs. Bagans smiled at me, and put her hand on my shoulder - and nearly shoved me into Zak's room. The door opened, and I nearly ran into the doctor right behind the door.
"Oh, Hello there." The doctor laughed, "I suppose your Mrs. Bagans." Wow, that felt weird to hear. I nodded, my throat tight. The doctors face fell when he looked at me and I shrunk, "I'm sorry for what has happened to Mr. Bagans. He will make a speedy recovery if he listens and does everything he is suppose to do." I nodded, not really listening, only in a hurry to see what had happened to Zak.
"You may go in." those words are what made me push the doctor aside, and look at Zak. His eyes closed, lying on a plain white sheeted hospital bed, his breathing was a little off, but his steady heart beat echoed through the room. His face wasn't the white it was - full of reds, and blues, and purples. His leg and left arm was in a cast. My eyes watered, and I filled with tears. They poured out, and I didn't even realize the doctor had left. I couldn't even walk to Zak, it was too much. I stood there. I stared at him. I stared at that freakin' retard who stole my heart, and didn't give it back. Who called me names, but took them back. Who loved me, and I hope he did still love me. I remembered how his hands touched me, how his lips kissed me, how'd he talk to me. When he took me places, he was never embarrassed around his friends to say 'this is my girlfriend' or 'stop being mean to her'. Truth is I really missed him.
I got enough guts to walk to him, My feet dragging on the ground. I collapsed into the chair beside Zak and cried. I took his hand into mine, my eyes filled with tears, my face wet. His hand was limp, cold. Not the warmness I was used to feeling from him.
"Zachary Alexander Bagans," I began rubbing my thumbs against the top of his hand, "I freakin' love you. And it's not a joke, I'm not lying. I'm not playing you like all those blondes that keep coming and going out of your life. I'm not saying I love you for I can get some of what you can offer. I'm saying I love you because I mean it. I love everything about you. I loved the way you talked to me that day in the Goldfield, How interested you are in hearing my stories in that hotel. You still are. I love the way you made me feel comfortable down in the basement of that dreaded hotel. I hated that you left, but I love you for making me feel the way you did. I panicked that day when that reporter was hounding me, because I thought he was going to hound you. When you showed me another type of song that I never thought I'd listen to. How you stopped and asked for directions, and thank god I found you again, even though I didn't feel that way when we found each other again. You helped me when I was completely drunk and confused. You saved me from going out and cheating on Dakota, even though he already cheated on me. When I woke up in your bedroom the day after I drank. I could've sworn I slept with somebody, and when I heard you fall off the couch, I knew from that day on I wanted to be with you. How you told me I was the reason you quit drinking... The conversation plays though my head every day."
"I left you." Zak whispered taking my hand, and lifting my chin, "Every night, I'd feel horrible about myself. And my mind would fall right back to that night. The last time I saw you. The kiss I gave you, I wished I would've missed and hit your lips... Every time my head would flow into that state of mind - I'd start thinking about what could've happened. How It could've ended if I hadn't left. When it would wander there - I would break down. I'd drink a whole bottle of Whiskey in a good twenty minutes. Then, the next morning I'd swear to myself I'd never drink again. But, I would every night. Until Finally, I came to the conclusion I was never going to talk to you again. Because you left. So, I quit drinking."
"and how Dakota was going to kill me that day, and you saved my life. I owe you so much for that. I was a little girl lost in a world where I'd never seen... You helped me. How you drive in that rapist van makes my freakin' day. That day when we went into the Goldfield, and replayed the day I met you like teenagers in love. We got into that stupid argument about that dumb brick. How I'd tracked you down in Vegas with your dog. I'm such a stalker. Anyways, I love the way we cuddle when you were cold. I love the way you would complain about your lockdown hangovers. I love the way you laugh at the little things, and the way you look like my college professor when you wore that outfit for the Christmas party. how I met your parents. How you left me, how the boys of H.U. treated you, I'm sorry for that and that was totally harsh. I just.. I just want you to love me like I love you." I put my head on the bed - and started sobbing uncontrollably.
Then, I felt a warm hand on the back of my neck. "That's what I want too," A raspy voice said..
OMFG. CLIFFHANGER. Welp, I hope you like this chapter. I know I've been behind on updates, only because I've been busy doing summer crap. And School has started! Yay! Tenth grade! i'm gonna pass with good grades this year and i'm freakin' excited!(:
And you noticed, I DIDN'T SWEAR THIS CHAPTER. YESSS.
I have made the decision i'm not gonna swear this year!(:
Oh, and I would like to give a HUGE shoutout to all my reviewers, AND Bordello Barbie for talking to me, and completely making my day!(:
I got told I was an awesome author *Flips hair* AWH THANKS.(::
Okay, bye bye!
hopefully there will be a new update on like friday. (I have a football game for marching band!)
