Happy 4th of July to those of you celebrating! I'm scrambling to post this chapter before hordes of people descend on my house to eat various meats and salads. My husband suggested I needed a break from BBQ prep when I told him the hot dog buns needed to be more artfully arranged on the platter...I don't know what his problem is :-)

So as usual a big thank you to my beta Chiisai-kitty and to Peppermintyrose for pre-reading!

And a super-big thank you to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite, etc. I am not great about replying to reviews, but I read and appreciate every single one of them. Even the ones where you completely disagree with my characterizations. Also, there were some problems when chapter 27 posted...so if you never read it, read that first.

And that is enough from me...


Sookie had been at the studio since dawn. With each day that went by she became more and more anxious about seeing Eric. She knew he had to come back eventually. They had to finish this ridiculous pirate movie. He wouldn't mess with his own livelihood, not even for her and this movie had blockbuster written all over it.

Although she had told Pam that she knew that Eric loved her, she still found herself lying in bed at night wondering if he was going to march into the studio and tell her that he realized now that he truly loved Belinda. Or that he was retiring. Or just breaking up with her because he couldn't stand all the drama that seemed to surround him, not that they weren't already broken up, she supposed, it had all been sort of unclear. That last one didn't even really make any sense, but she still thought it. Her anxiety was driving her insane.

She also, sometimes, lay in bed and fantasized that he would walk into the studio and take her into his arms and kiss her. He would place his large hands in her hair and kiss her until she could feel it in her toes…and other places too. Then, he would pick her up and carry her into her dressing room and lay her out on that daybed that was in there and…but, of course, she didn't want him to do that. Shouldn't want him to do that. He had lied, or at least omitted. And she should be disgusted by the very idea of him touching her. It certainly shouldn't make her feel tingly.

Whether the fantasies were of him leaving her or ravaging her, she still found herself rising earlier and earlier every morning and coming into work, hoping Eric would be there while dreading the day that he finally would be and she'd know for certain. At least while he was gone she didn't have to make up her mind about what she actually felt. She was dreading doing that. She didn't want to make the wrong choice and she had the feeling she was facing a fairly significant crossroad.

She was made-up, costumed and on the set, wanting to be ready in case today was the day, only to find Eric also made-up, costumed and walking the plank with a sword. He was counting out steps and she realized they must have been filming the duel with his nemesis today. When she entered the soundstage, he stopped counting and looked at her.

Sookie felt as though she could hardly breathe as they shared that look. Not that she understood the meaning behind it. There had been a part of her that was hoping she'd know when she saw him was she still angry or was it all forgiven. Strangely, it was both. She was still angry, so very angry, but she understood more than she realized.

"Miss Stanton," he said softly, but it carried.

She walked toward him. It hurt to hear him be so formal. She walked to below the plank and looked up at him. They weren't alone, but people seemed to be giving them space, which surprised her. "I'm Miss Stanton now? It's awfully formal don't you think."

He looked down at her with a sad smile. "I didn't want to presume."

She returned his look. "There are so many things I could say to that comment. None of them pleasant."

He snorted in response. "Well let's not head down that road again, please. Besides, generally I'm the one that makes unpleasant, thoughtless and hurtful remarks. You're the nice one."

Now it was Sookie's turn to snort. "Lucky me."

"Let me climb down." Eric grabbed a hold of the fake rigging and climbed down several feet before dropping lightly onto the ground practically at Sookie's feet.

Standing this close to him, Sookie found it difficult to remember how much she hated him. Suddenly, the job with Niall Brigant was looking better and better…and worse and worse all at the same time. "You're feeling better it seems."

Eric raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes, my laryngitis is suddenly all cured."

"Home remedy?"

"Pam."

Sookie couldn't help but be amused. "Pam has a home remedy for laryngitis?"

"Yes, it seems that ice water poured over your head will suddenly restore your voice…I suppose that only works if administered correctly."

Sookie chuckled. "I'm sure."

"Perhaps I needed the ice water to help me find my voice simply because it cleared my head enough to figure out what I should be saying."

Sookie stopped chuckling. She felt herself flush and suddenly became aware of every other person in the room with them. All those people, that had been so carefully ignoring them, now felt as if they were right on top of her, staring. She looked down at the floor. And then back up at Eric. And then down at the floor again pleading with herself not to cry.

"Sookie," he said softly touching her elbow.

She shook her head. "I don't know if I can, Eric. Not here. Not right now."

He took a step away and dropped his hand. "I can wait. I will wait. But I would very much like to try to explain to you. And apologize. Mostly, I'd like to know how to regain your trust."

She held up her hand signaling him to stop. She would not cry here. He simply nodded and looked around for a change of subject. "Tray's here. Shall we discuss today's agenda?"

He extended his hand in front of him to indicate that she should lead and then fell into step beside her. "I hear you've gotten an excellent offer from Summerland for a one picture trade."

She looked up at him fearful that he would be angry and he smiled down at her. She had expected similar behavior to what she had seen at the club when he heard. Instead, he was looking at her calmly, apparently completely prepared to chat about it as though they were old friends. It was confusing. "You aren't upset?"

The sad smile returned to his face. He would have loved to shout at her and demand that she refuse, but that had backfired badly the last time he had done it. He was trying not to be too hard on himself about it though. When he'd gone into that club he was as close to becoming unhinged as he had ever been. Now that he had regrouped, he was ready to make a play for what he wanted and he knew he wouldn't achieve his goal by letting his temper run wild. He wouldn't lie to her either though. That had also worked out rather badly. "Did you think I wouldn't be? I don't like or trust Niall Brigant. And certainly not with you. I want you to want to be here. It's what I've wanted since I first saw you."

She wasn't really certain if he meant here at Northman Pictures or with him. But the look he gave her as he said it was more possessive then contrite, despite his words. She looked at him and they understood each other very clearly in that moment. No one was surrendering anything; it was unnecessary. If either wanted to discuss it, it would have to wait, they had arrived at Tray's chair so there wasn't time, or privacy, to ask.

- 888-

Sookie had never been so glad to have anyone call lunch. After spending several hours pressed against Eric as he rescued her from unscrupulous pirates, as opposed to his own character, a pirate with high moral standards, she could barely remember why she was having misgivings about being with him. She knew she was upset, but she was quickly realizing her resolve was not going to hold if she spent day after day in these same close confines, acting out scenes designed to build sexual tension. As if there wasn't enough sexual tension between them.

After the last take of Eric grabbing her and pulling her out of the arms of her attacker and into his own, she had walked away on very shaky legs once Tray had finally called cut. She'd been less than pleased when Eric had followed her.

"Have lunch with me?"

She looked at him. She had planned to say no, but found herself nodding. God, she was weak.

Much to her surprise he did not take her acceptance in stride, but instead said very sincerely, "Thank you."

He stepped back slightly to allow her to proceed toward the commissary.

Once they had their food and were seated at a table in the corner, as far from the other diners as possible, Eric went straight to the point. "We only have thirty minutes. I don't want to waste time. I should have told you about Belinda and Danny from the beginning. I can't say I planned on keeping it a secret or didn't – I hadn't even thought about it. I just thought there was plenty of time for that sort of thing. It seemed early in the relationship to be discussing secret children. But I suppose that was a mistake. Especially considering the situation with Ocella. I should have been smarter."

Sookie shrugged. She didn't know if she could entirely fault him. It didn't change much. Truth be told, she was less angry about the child than his reaction at the club. And more than anything, she was just beginning to understand how very dangerous his connections were. How very hurt she could be, and not just emotionally hurt, like she was now. "What do I know about that? My only relationship was with Sam and I've known him since I can remember, living in a town so small we didn't have secrets." Although even as she said it, she knew it was a lie. She had her own secrets. And maybe that was why his didn't bother her that much. Some things weren't so much lies as things there were no reason to share…until of course there was a reason and by then it was usually too late.

He was nodding. Listening, interested. Looking at her intensely. Wanting to hear everything she had to say. Not thinking about what he would say next in order to get her to forgive him. She looked back at him and prompted, "So you want to tell me the things you left out."

"Do they matter?"

She looked at him. "Maybe not. But I'm spinning fantasies every night that you love that woman and I'm just a useful career tool, so maybe you could help me out with that. Or maybe you can't."

"Will you believe what I tell you?"

It was a fair question. She wasn't certain she knew the answer. "I don't know."

He nodded. "Well, I supposed that's deserved." He sighed slightly and looked out over the dining room. They called lunch early and it wasn't very crowded yet. "I didn't ever love her. And I do love you. I cared for her. She made a life that I hated a little better. And when she got pregnant, I wanted to help her. To take care of her and the baby. Get her away from that life. It was the breaking point for all of us. I still knew a lot of people from Sophie Anne. Pam wanted to be an actress. And here we are."

It was a sensible explanation and Sookie was a sensible girl. She had already worked out the story in her head, she just needed to hear it from him. Sookie looked around and dropped her voice low. "But Ocella runs money through here. I know he does."

Eric nodded impressed that she had reasoned that out on her own, putting it together from everything else that she knew. Impressed, but not surprised. "He does now. He found them – Belinda and Danny – maybe five years ago. And he needed some legitimate business investments."

"So if he gets caught, you'll be ruined?"

Eric shrugged. "Maybe not. I'm working on that." He wondered if he cared anymore. What was ruined anyway? He knew for certain that Ocella had been ruining his life for almost as long as he could remember. So what if he ruined his business.

Sookie shook her head. "You need to be honest with me."

He looked at her again. "I am being honest with you. I'm not using you to move my career forward. I don't need to move my career forward. I have a plan for protecting you and I will tell it to you if you want, but not sitting in the commissary. Sookie, I know that things have been…less than perfect, but if you stay, I can fix them. I can give you everything you've ever dreamed of."

He leaned back in his chair slightly and looked at her. Clearly, he had spoken his piece. It was ironic to Sookie that he was more right than he knew. Eric could give her everything she dreamed of, but that had nothing to do with acting or studio deals.

Sookie knew she was staring at him. She opened her mouth and then closed it again. She wanted to tell him that she never dreamed of being a star because she never had. Her dreams were made of very different things, but she liked acting and she thought she was good at it. Instead she found herself leaning forward and whispering, "Eric, what do you dream about?"

It sounded a lot more inviting than she had meant it to. She realized that when his eyes locked on hers and took on a heavy mixture of amusement and lust. Eric felt his own pulse quicken and thought of telling her that lately his only dream was that she'd take him back, but thought he would sound like a complete and utter jackass if he said that. He leaned in close. "Well, I'll tell you, Sookie Stackhouse. I dream about you realizing that I am not only just the lesser of two evils, but actually everything you ever wanted."

He was a wise enough man to know that cocky and brash worked better for him than whiny and sincere.

She snorted. "Well, I suppose a man can dream."

He smiled at her confident that she had understood him. "Yes, he can. You want to tell me what you dream about?"

His eyes were holding hers and she felt the silent beat between them. Sookie felt as though she could hear her own heart beating in her ears. What did she dream of? All she had ever wanted was a life where she was accepted. Where she had her own choices, not held down by years of Stackhouses and what they had done or a life that she was forced into because she was too poor for anything else. Or had to do things that way because of her husband. She wanted to be valued. She wondered if he would laugh at her. Men never thought about it, being valued, because they usually were. And she imagined a lot of women would laugh at her because they'd think it was a silly thing to want. "Being valued."

She was a little surprised when he didn't laugh, but instead gave her a long look. He exhaled slowly and looked up at the ceiling and then back at her nodding. "Well, you're valued now. Summerland wants you. We want you…but I don't think that's what you meant."

Sookie frowned slightly. It wasn't what she had meant somehow. Although he wasn't wrong, she was valued now in a way she had never given much thought to before this moment. "You're right I suppose." She paused for a moment and looked up at him. She felt the tears pooling in her eyes. "Eric…" She didn't know what she wanted to say.

He reached out and touched her cheek softly. It struck him that he thought her dreams mattered more to him than his own, at least in that moment. And then, he also realized that it didn't have to be one or the other. He could prove how much he valued her simply by giving her a choice. He understood wanting freedom. It was all he had ever wanted until he met her. "I've lived my whole life being a selfish. Pam was the only person I ever cared about other than myself. But I never found anyone that was worth putting in front of myself until I met you. Take the deal with Summerland, walk away from all of this and then when it's safer, come back. I'll be waiting."

"What if it's never safer?"

"It will be." He glanced at her food. "You need to finish your lunch. You have to spend the afternoon fighting off would-be rapists. You'll need your strength."

Sookie wiped at her eyes and shook her head. "Didn't I spend the morning fighting off rapists?"

He looked at her with a smile. "Those were pirate attackers. This is the governor's son. Don't you read your script?"

Sookie laughed and reached for her sandwich. It was so comfortable. She found Eric so easy to love. Suddenly, she almost hated that about him. Despite everything, she was more herself with Eric than anyone. And it hadn't stopped just because he had hurt her.

He must have sensed it too because he had stopped eating and was reaching out to touch her hand. He ran his thumb very softly over the top of her hand and then withdrew it as though afraid to touch her too intimately for fear of scaring her off. He was right to be cautious. She felt as though she might bolt any second.

"I am so very sorry. I should have told you everything in the first place. If I had had more time…" It was a poor excuse, but it was true. He simply had not been fast enough.

"Why didn't you?" She really was curious. In fact, she needed to know. The answer made a difference.

He looked down at the table and around the room. Anywhere but at her. Was he blushing? She thought he might have been. "I liked you," he mumbled.

She stared and struggled to keep from laughing, but in the end she couldn't help it and a small chuckle escaped. "That can't have been a first."

He scowled at her, but only for a moment and then shook his head laughing at his self-indulgent behavior. "I didn't want to tell you all my ugly secrets. I wanted to be someone you liked. It was childish. Short-sighted, but I…"

He raised his hands in a casual shrug. As if it had all just been a giant misunderstanding.

She gave him a level look. "You're going to. You are going to tell me everything before I even think about forgiving you, which I'm not doing. Not until I know I can trust you."

He was nodding. He would agree to any conditions she was willing to set. He would have kissed her damn feet if he thought it would help, although not where anyone might actually see.

She glared at him, but didn't say anything else.

It sounded to Eric like she was considering giving him a chance. A small part of him wanted to tell her she was crazy. This was, of course, exactly why he found her so enthralling. He lowered his voice and leaned in. "Why are you even considering giving me a chance?"

She looked up at him again. "I'm not giving you squat. You're earning it. Broken trust can be hard to repair, you know."

He shook his head and replied sincerely. "No, I didn't know that. But I'm willing to learn." And then one corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. "Squat, huh? You're a hard woman."

She looked at him from underneath her lashes. "You don't know the half of it, buddy."


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