A/N: Hey guys, so I've had another not so great day, so I thought I'd leave my world behind for the BTR universe, and write some more of Big Time Help for you guys. If you could be sweet with your criticism, I'd really appreciate it :)

Chapter 27: Scared

The rest of the Big Time Rush tour went just as smoothly as the first show, and the boys checked their phones each night to see tweets from fans about how brave Kendall was for still performing, and how grateful they were to all the guys for continuing the band after such a setback.

All too soon, however, the tour was drawing to a close, and the tour bus finally pulled back into the Palm Woods, letting the boys out so they could traipse back up to the apartment and collapse into bed.

Logan, however, found himself unable to sleep; he couldn't stop thinking about Kendall leaving in the morning, and how it just wouldn't be the same without him around. Logan sighed as he rolled over to watch the blonde's sleeping form; he shouldn't be feeling sorry for himself over the other boy leaving, this was what's best for him, right? It didn't matter that Logan felt that his heart was literally broken with the pain in his chest at the thought of Kendall leaving, Logan wasn't who was important right now; Kendall was.

The following morning's trip to Kendall's new school happened in near to silence, and by the time Mrs Knight had pulled her minivan up to the entrance, Kendall was sick of it,

"Don't worry guys, I'll be home for Thanksgiving, I'll see you then," he winked and gave a chuckle, and Logan, who had been on edge ever since they had found out Kendall was leaving, managed a smile; Kendall was always cracking eyesight jokes, and always making fun of the fact that he couldn't see, but it still worried Logan; was his best friend really OK with all this? Was he just trying to hide the hurt, for their sake?

The truth was, Kendall was hurt, but more than that, he was scared; in fact, he was terrified! He had just gotten used to living with being blind at the Palm Woods, but he'd always had the guys and his mother and Katie around, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was scared of having to leave them, he was scared of going to the blind school all by himself, and he was terrified at having to live with some teacher helping him. But he knew he would have to face his fear someday; the boys weren't going to be around all the time to take care of him, and he could already tell it was taking a toll on Katie and his mother.

A sudden thought occurred to him at that moment, as he sat in the back of his mothers rental car as she drove them to the school; it was already October, he was almost eighteen, and the boys were already there! They'd be moving out soon, going to college or to live with their girlfriends; they were growing up, and so Kendall had to, too; just because he was blind didn't mean that he couldn't live a normal life, plenty of people did! He knew he'd have something to fall back on after he finished his four year sport-counseling degree the following year; he couldn't be a hockey player now, and that seemed like the only thing his blindness had taken away from him. He had Jo, but what if Logan was right, how long would that last? Sure, for now, she loved him, and was willing to take care of him and accept his condition, but for how long? He wanted to marry and start a family with her someday, but how would that work? How could he take care of children when he couldn't even see? Would Jo even want him as a father, would she want him as a husband? Kendall wrung his hands, staring, sort of, out the window as he felt the car draw to a stop, and he unbuckled his seat belt, feeling around for his sunglasses, and muttering his thanks to Logan as the genius helped him to put them on.

"Ready?" Logan asked, as he appeared at Kendall's door, opening it and reaching down to grab the blonde's arm.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he found Logan's arm, and took a grip on if with both hands, and felt Logan grip him back reassuringly, and suddenly, another pair of hands - larger - James', were on his other arm, and he could hear Carlos grunting with the effort of picking up his bags, and smiled.

"Dude!" Carlos gasped as the bag fell with its full weight onto his back "What the heck is in here, bricks?"

"Carlos, I'm gonna be away for a while, I need pretty much all my stuff," Kendall could almost feel that Carlos' face had fallen, and imagined the Latino's wide brown eyes, and his bottom lip wobbling as he tried to blink away the tears. Kendall wasn't far off, as it turned out, for he heard Carlos sniffle, so Kendall held him out a tissue, and Carlos stepped forward to grab it.

"Thanks," the younger boy mumbled, and Kendall sighed, shifting his arms slightly, and James and Logan, getting the message, let go of him as Kendall turned to where he'd heard Carlos speak, and spread his arms apart, beckoning with his head for Carlos to step forward.

"Come here," he heard Carlos step forward, and felt the younger boy fall into his arms, feeling the warmth of his tears fall onto his chest "Oh, Carlos," he sad softly "it's gonna be OK, buddy,"

"N-no it's not!" Carlos sobbed "We just got used to you being home, and now you're leaving! I hate it!"

"I hate it, too, Litos," Kendall used the old nickname, in a hope to calm Carlos down. It didn't work. "But I've gotta learn, I can't keep going through life not being able to read anything or write, and I gotta learn to live on my own, without help, because who knows how long we're all gonna be together." he tried to be gentle, but nothing seemed to soothe Carlos right now.

"We're always gonna be together!" he cried "Aren't we?" Carlos asked softly. Kendall shook his head,

"Carlos, you're almost eighteen now, you've gotta go to college at the end of the year, so do James and Logan, you're gonna move out with Stephanie, aren't you? You're gonna find your own home? Logan wants to go so medical school, and James wants to go solo, he'll probably move to Malibu or Miami or somewhere awesome, and he'll find someone there, maybe even Lucy'll change her mind about him," Kendall felt Carlos' shoulders give a short spasm, and he heard him chuckle. "And I'm gonna do sports counseling, everything's changing, bud, and we just gotta roll with it," Carlos gave the smallest of sighs, and Kendall bent his head down to face him.

"You give the best pep talks," Carlos said in a small voice, and Kendall smiled.

"Thanks," he said as Carlos stood back up again, and Kendall held out his hands, "here, give me one of those bags, I'll give you a hand." he felt a bag being placed in his hands, and he felt around for the strap before hoisting it over his shoulder, and turning his head, looking - but not seeing - for James and Logan, who were at his side almost immediately, each taking an arm in both of his hands and helping to lead Kendall forwards, followed by Mrs Knight, wringing her hands nervously, and and Carlos and Katie, who brought up the rear. Katie bobbed down suddenly, and Carlos looked around to see that she was pretending to tie her shoe, and his heart ached at the tears that slid down the young girl's face.

"Katie?" Carlos asked gently, and the young brunette looked up, her eyes red and blotchy "Hey, I thought you were tough!" Carlos joked softly, but Katie didn't smile,

"It hurts," she mumbled, gazing up at Carlos, her heart aching even more; Carlos looked so nervous, anxious as he watched her, and come to think of it, Katie couldn't remember the last time she saw Carlos smile, or any of the guys for that matter! Except Kendall. Kendall was a different story; it was as if he was trying to be as happy as the others combined. It was as if he could see how much this was hurting them, and he was doing all he could to take their minds off it. Katie knew there was no other way this could have happened; her brother was blind, there was nothing that would change that, and there was no way he could stay at home forever, and no way he could get by without knowing how to read or write. She knew she was being selfish, but at that moment, she wanted to grab her brother, and never let him go. Besides, it's not like Kendall could live on his own in his condition; a wave of guilt went straight through Katie, she couldn't think such things, this was what was best for her brother, and no amount of tears of pleading would change that.

"Katie? Carlos?" Mrs Knight called, and the two looked up to see that the rest of their family was at the front door of the school, waiting for them,

"It's gonna be OK," Carlos said, squeezing Katie's shoulder "you'll see," even as the words came out, Carlos didn't believe them; there was no way things would ever go back to normal now, would they? Kendall was right, once they graduated, his best friends were all going to different places, and where would he be? Kendall leaving for school was just the beginning of a bunch of new changes that Carlos was certain he wasn't ready for, but he had to be strong. For Katie.

A/N: So there you have it guys, it's a bit of a filler chapter, but I still like it, so let me know what you think, your reviews might make me feel better :)