And lucky review#400 goes to darkin!
Chapter 28
What is True and What is False
"Age cannot wither him, nor custom stale his infinite variety…"
Drowsy from all of Fi's longwinded storytelling, Link snuggled against Crimson's cozy feathers, lulled by the gentle sway of the bird's flying.
"It's a terrible thing, sky child…"
From right to left, Link rolled his face over on Crimson's soft back. He mumbled in his sleep.
"Mmmm…?"
"A false sense of security. Terrible, is it not?"
He held his breath in his sleep.
"Think back, my little human…"
He exhaled heavily, shivering as the familiar voice caressed his mind.
"Think back to our time."
Link slowly ran his fingers through Crimson's feathers, rubbing his fingertips amongst the silky fibers.
"When you reached such a glorious state in my arms that you nearly liquefied. Do not tell me that you've forgotten…"
Link gently scraped his nails across the dark skin beneath his bird's wings. Crimson turned a golden eye to his sleeping master.
"Do you really think that you are now safe? That the sky will be your safeguard?
Link grimaced, feeling something on his back.
"Safety does not exist for you, sky child."
"No…" Link shook his head.
"Did you really believe that by invalidating just one thing that I said to you would prove me a wretched liar? To exaggerate is not necessarily to lie. Do not confuse the two, human."
Link shut his eyes tighter.
"Hyperbole. We are all guilty of it sometimes. Especially when we are excited…"
He shook his head again.
"And speaking of guilty…"
He flipped his face the other way, restless, knowing what was coming.
"You, my dear, sweet hero…are as guilty…as…can…be."
"…Why?" Link whispered, holding tautly to Crimson's sides. The enormous bird gave a low chirp.
"For dismissing me. Forgetting about me, and everything that happened between us. Do you realize that one simply does not walk away from death in the demon realm?"
"What happened between us?" Link thought. "All you did was torment me. Nothing more."
"And the foolishness lives on," the demon taunted. "How many times must I say it, human?"
"What…?"
"Eventually, I will be the only one in your world. You will be drawn to me like—"
"A moth to a flame?" Link hugged Crimson tighter.
"Like a bride is swept into her husband's first embrace."
"…That's not exactly—"
"But it is true, sky child. Like your foolishness, beating around the bush must come to an end."
"How have I been foolish?
"In the short time that you've been away from me, you've discounted every word, every experience…everything that I've taught you."
"You taught me nothing except that you're vile," Link replied.
"Am I? No, sky child. My only wish is for you to succeed, to be well, to excel. "
"So you terrorize me for hours before you kill me with my own sword? Is that supposed to benefit me somehow?"
"A lesson, sky child. A valuable one. I've already explained this to you."
"And what am I supposed to learn from your 'lesson'?"
"Your place. That to fear and revere me is the wisest decision you will ever make. That to trust my words will soon prove to be your only option. That you just might end up with no one on your side. No one, sky child, except for me."
"I've already seen through your lies about my friends. Why should I believe anything you say?"
"I have not lied about your friends. Your three confidantes – your rocks – will all betray you."
"If you're so sure, then tell me how it will happen," Link challenged.
"Hm. You will find out in time."
"You lie…"
"Believe it, human."
"Something catastrophic would have to happen for me to choose you over them."
"Mm, you'd be surprised to discover how little is needed for a person to learn who his true friends and enemies are."
"I already have that figured out."
"Do you? Do you, really?"
"Completely."
"Then riddle me this, human: why were you jealous of your best friend?"
"Jealous of what?" Link clenched Crimson's bird squawked.
"Why, of his visit with me, of course."
"Why would I be jealous of that?"
"Concern overshadows your envy, but envy is there just the same, sky child. From the moment that you learned of what your friend had done, jealousy was born. Let us not forget that one can only hold jealousy for something that one cares about, or wants."
"Ridiculous."
"I am your want, sky child, even if you fail to recognize it. It is so deep-seated that it will forever be a part of you."
"I don't believe it."
"We are connected. Not only in body, but in mind. It is only natural for you to feel invidious toward your friend – for what he experienced, you covet."
"…What?"
"What I didn't give you in the woods. What I held back from you. What you've been simply dying for."
"That's not—"
"Don't feign ignorance. You are filled with desire for me. Desire to be near me, to have me for your own. Do you remember how magnificent you came to feel deep in the woods?"
"You must not be referring to the Acheron Woods – the time that you dragged me around and threatened to do unspeakable things to me with my sword." Link shifted uncomfortably.
"Just a good-humored game, sky child."
"Oh, of course…"
"Silly human. No, the second time. That intense pleasure, while by your own hand, was because of me. Imagine…just imagine what it will be like to finally have what you dreamed of last night. Your new life. Endless pleasure—"
"And endless pain," Link interrupted. "I think that's what you dream of. The second half of my dream."
"It is what we both dream of. Something extraordinary happened in my realm, sky child. You…me…us."
Link flinched as the touch of a hand dragged over him, blowing under his clothes and against his skin like a breeze. He breathed in, feeling warmth spread across his lower body before settling.
"Your desire will keep building, and building, and building. You cannot fight it forever."
In his sleep, Link squirmed, unknowingly attracting more of his loftwing's attention.
"You have had a certain problem, my little human, have you not? Trouble with something that has always been important to you – your pride and joy… Your…instrument."
"Mm, why?" Link groaned.
"Where you are going, you will need your musical ability. Come and see me… Come to me, and we will resolve this problem…together."
A pleasurable sensation enveloped him, teasing and beckoning…
"You embraced me in the manor. Even though you had your friends with you, you came back to me in the forest temple. You sought me out in the woods in spite of the presence of your little red-haired woman. You felt concern for me more than once. You desire me in your dreams. Face it, sky child."
Link panted, his unconscious mind anything but peaceful. "I'm not going to forget what you did." Phantom pain in his right hand and chest flared up.
"Face it, sky child. Admit it to me. Admit it to yourself— you want me. In fact, you like me."
"There's no way…" Link grumbled.
"Do you know what is so special about this moment, my dear human?"
Breathing heavily, Link curled against the scarlet mass underneath him. He was aware of what he was feeling and what he was doing, but not of how to stop himself. To be in a dream was to be a victim of one's deepest, darkest, and most sequestered desires.
"In sleep, there are no secrets."
Link licked his lip, feeling exposed to the demon. It was nothing new. In fact, it really wasn't so bad. In a way, it was a relief.
Anyone who wasn't jealous of Link or too busy accusing him of being a troublemaker based on his past mistakes tended to stick him on a pedestal. The best fighter, honorable in every way, innocent, a model knight, Skyloft's most accomplished musician – he had been given many labels by many people.
To finally find someone who could see through the veil, who challenged him, who laid it all bare…
Who gave him… Who gave…him—
"What is it that you like most about me, human?"
The only other person intuitive enough to know what was false and what was true in him was Henya, the breakfast cook in his dormitory. He missed her…
Link opened his mouth to respond.
"Sssh, no. Save it, sky child. Do not utter it until we are together again. You come and see me…"
"Mmm," Link murmured as he shook his head.
"I will be waiting."
"Snap out of it!"
"Ah! What!" Link cried, jumping up. He gaped blankly at the infinite blue of the sky, broken up only by the clouds below. The cloud cover was grey and dismal, and most certainly chucking sheets of rainwater onto the surface below. Link thought about Zelda, hoping that she was keeping dry. He knew how torrential that surface rain could be.
"Either that or you and Crimson need to get a room," Pipit said in his friend's ear. Plucked from his thoughts, Link looked over his shoulder. His eyes were blurry with sleepiness.
"What're you talking about?" he asked, making a face.
"Quit doing that to your bird," Pipit said, picking at his thumbnail.
"I…what? I wasn't—"
"The hell you weren't," Pipit said. "Must be one hell of a dream you were having. Like I told you in the restaurant in Superna: you need to get laid." With a sigh, Link rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. You won't have dreams like that if you do. Your subconscious is trying to tell you something: it's desperate."
"I'm not desperate for anything," Link insisted.
"Whatever."
"Feel like a bit of sky diving, Pip?" Link asked, annoyance splaying in his eyes.
"That would just be mean. You know Hematite's off serenading Zelda's bird."
"Hm, how appropriate," Link grumbled, staring ahead.
"Yeah," Pipit said dryly. "No wonder he didn't come when I whistled for him. He's probably gettin' some as we speak. At least somebody has the right idea." Link rolled his eyes again.
"Uh-huh."
"Who were you dreaming about?" Pipit asked, peeking over Link's shoulder. Link looked up, his sandy hair whipping about in the wind.
"Midna," he said.
"Oh, well in that case, carry on," Pipit said, crossing his arms. "It might freak your bird out a little, though."
"Pipit, just stop, okay?"
"What? Go ahead and do your thing. I won't look. Unlike some people." Link's heart dropped for a moment.
"…What?" he asked slowly, staring over Crimson's head.
"Dude, if you wanted some pointers, all you had to do was ask," Pipit said. Link tightened up.
"Pipit! Why didn't you tell me that you knew I was there?"
"Um, awkwarrrrrrd," Pipit said.
"Awkward," Link repeated austerely. "Nothing is ever awkward with you. You don't care about anything!"
"Not for me. For the girl." Pipit shrugged.
"Oh, well, thank you, Pipit, for putting others first."
"Hey, was I any good to watch?" Pipit asked with a grin. Link gave a low groan.
"No. You put on a terrible show, Pipit. I want my rupees back." Link glared in the Twilight soldier's direction.
"Hm, yeah right," Pipit snapped. "I bet you scampered to your room and jerked off right aw—"
But before Pipit could finish his sentence he found himself dangling head first from Crimson, secured only by Link's grip on the front of his tunic. Shouting, he grabbed Link's arm.
"You did! That's why you're so mad!" He slipped down several inches, kicking his feet in the air. The jostle didn't break Link's livid glower.
"Unless your name is Midna, you deserve none of the credit," Link said, still staring ahead.
"All right! Okay! I'm sorry!" Pipit yelled. The soldier in black turned a curious eye to the two friends. He might have even smiled.
"Sorry, I was dazing," Link said. "I don't think I heard you."
"You can't kill me! There's a witness!" Pipit took a second to point him out. "That's murder, man! You wanna rot in jail forever?"
"I'm considering it."
"I said I'm sorry! What else can I—"
And with that, Pipit was hoisted into his previous position behind Link. After tossing his friend in place, Link bit his tongue. His friend slouched against him, breathing with long gasps.
"You think it was bad for you?" Pipit asked with a wheeze. "Do you know how long I had to hold out because you were in the room?"
"Well, I'm so sorry, Pipit!" Link called out as he threw his hands up.
"Yeah, well, see that it doesn't happen again," Pipit said, adjusting his hat and collar. "Good thing these knight's caps plaster themselves to your head." He rubbed his face. "Since when did you become a voyeur, man?" Link growled.
"Pip, you don't ever learn, do you?"
"I don't think you're a voyeur… Just in need." Link turned to face him.
"That's enough, Pipit," he warned.
"What? I don't blame you or anything. If Midna was my girlfriend, I'd be horny as hell all the time, too."
"I'm not…" Link took a breath. "…like that all the time."
"The way you thrash and talk and carry on in your sleep suggests otherwise."
"I do not," Link said.
"You just did," Pipit retorted. Link faced forward.
"Well, sorry you had to witness that, then," he said with plenty of sarcasm.
"And you weren't dreaming of Midna," Pipit pointed out.
"Why do you say that?"
"You were practically moaning his name," Pipit said quietly. "Actually, you did once." Link's gaze lowered.
"Thanks for letting me know, Pipit…"
"S'okay. I get it," Pipit said. "I used to dream of Calwren all the time, too. Like, intense, hardcore porn dreams."
"What?"
"Oh, yeah," Pipit said with a nod, "every night. For years."
"That's…horrible, Pipit," Link mumbled.
"Yup. The only thing that got my mind off of it was girls. Or women." Link gave him a leery glance.
"What age are we talking about here, Pip?"
"Thirteen, fourteen. It went beyond that, of course—"
"Thirteen?" Link asked, twisting around. Pipit shrugged.
"Sure. After everything that had already happened with Calwren, it wasn't much of a leap to move on to females."
"Yeah, but…thirteen?" Link asked in disbelief. "I knew you were bad, but not that bad."
"Hey, watch it," Pipit said. "We can't all be as pure as virgin snow."
"Oh, g—" Link scoffed. "Right."
"You're the horniest virgin I've ever seen. We need to do something about this." Link fought another urge to sacrifice Pipit to the clouds. "Hey, what about your servant?" Pipit's eyes lit up as Link froze.
"Huh?"
"You know, your servant. That woman in your sword."
"Fi?" Link asked, blinking.
"Yeah. You heard her story. Well, sixty-seven percent of it, according to her." Pipit's brow bounced up. "She was giving it up to that other Link, like…three-thousand years ago. Sounds like she's as horny as you. I bet she's ready for some by now."
"Pipit," Link muttered, "she never said she was sleeping with anyone."
"Pssh, come on, you know it's coming in the next installment," Pipit said. "Dude, she's your servant. She calls you 'Master'." He leaned in. "That's fantasy-worthy."
"It's not right, Pip," Link told him. "I really don't think that's what the Goddess had in mind…"
"Haven't you thought about it?" Pipit asked. Link paused.
"Let's not get into that again."
"So you have," Pipit said. "Good to know. Hey, Effie!"
"Pipit!" Link whispered. "Don't. And stop calling her by stupid names."
"What? She has no freakin' emotions. Who cares?"
"I care!" Link exclaimed. "She deserves respect. She's still a person—"
"Who doesn't feel," Pipit said, cocking his head. "She's the perfect candidate for sexual favors." Link gaped at him. "Yo, Effie!"
"Her name is Fi."
"Fine," Pipit grumbled. "Hey, Fi!" He watched Link's brown bag light up.
"Do you require my assistance, Master Link?" Fi asked.
"Ha, you bet he does," Pipit said to Link's hip.
"Pipit!" Link put his hand up. "Fi, ignore him. I don't need anything."
"Very well, Master," Fi chimed.
"Ooh, that's so kinky," Pipit said, hugging himself. "She'll do anything you ask. Can you lend her out?" Link grabbed his forehead and sighed.
"Am I still dreaming?" he asked, looking Pipit in the eye. "Because I must be dreaming. There's something extremely wrong about waking up to this much perversion." Pipit curled his lip and shrugged.
"I'm just trying to help," he said, watching Link sweep his thick hair away from his eyes.
"I know. That's the frightening part." Link looked away. He flinched when he felt Pipit grab his shoulders for a 'helpful' massage.
"You need to loosen up, man," Pipit suggested. "Tense as hell."
"Demonic dreams will do that to you," Link said, trying to be mad. His resolve started to slip as Pipit rubbed his anger away. There was no doubt about it – Pipit gave good shoulder massages. Rocking under his hands, Link shut his eyes.
"Want me to nibble your ear, too?" Pipit asked.
"Shut up," Link said, shaking him off.
"Does Midna know you're a shoulder rub whore?"
"Haven't told her yet."
"Does Effie know?" Pipit asked. "I bet she'll do it for you, plus more."
"That would be weird, Pip."
"She's your servant. That's what servants are for."
"Are you my servant?" Link asked. "Is that why you're doing that?"
"No way. I'm just your buddy who wants you to loosen up. After Twilight, it's Cyainus, and then our trip is over."
"Because it's been so much fun," Link murmured.
"It has been kind of fun," Pipit said. "How often do we get to have extended guy time?"
"Is the unintentional voyeurism and a demon kidnapping you and sick dreams included in that?"
"I guess."
They sat for a short time.
"I need to ask you something, Pip."
"Go ahead."
"Years ago, when you were…seeing Calwren," Link began, "how did you feel about him?"
"Feel about him? I hated his effing guts. I still do."
"Well, besides that…" Link hesitated. "Did you feel anything else?"
"Why are you asking?" Pipit's forehead wrinkled.
"Just curious," Link said tiredly.
"If that was all I felt, I never woulda gone back."
"So what exactly…" Link looked over his shoulder.
"Well, if you must know," Pipit said, "even though I hated him, I felt like I needed him."
"Did you like him at all?" Link asked, feeling odd for saying it.
"Like him?" Pipit didn't say anything right away. "All I can tell you is that I was afraid of him for what he could do to me and my mom, but I respected him for who he was. In a way, what was happening was…" He stopped to think. "…was my own." He shrugged. "Like I was special, or receiving special treatment."
"You did?" Link glanced around.
"Yeah. It distracted me from my problems…from insecurities. The insecurities that kids tend to have, I guess. I looked forward to seeing him most of the time. Plus it felt really good to…" He swallowed.
"It's okay, Pip, I get it," Link said.
"No one else found me important enough to focus on me like that."
"Awe, Pipit," Link said somberly. He turned his eyes to the mist-shrouded island in the distance. The discussion had been so engrossing that he hadn't noticed its approach.
"Come about!" the soldier called to them. "We'll be landing in five minutes!"
"Soldiers talk funny," Pipit said.
Willing away any residual grogginess, Link studied the island. On the western half he saw a vast amber plain, an enormous, dense forest, and a long mountain range. Lakes and rivers dotted the landscape, shimmering like mirrors. Homes were sparsely placed about, becoming more concentrated toward the residential portion of the island.
"So this is Twilight," Link said to himself.
Opposite the wilderness was a huge city, glowing with torchlight even though it was midday. It was not as large as the city of Superna, but it was large, nonetheless. Emanating energy, it dwarfed every surrounding town and village. It wasn't even night but the place looked amazing. Link immediately understood every endearing thing that Midna had ever told him about her home. It didn't appear to be the dreary, depressing wasteland that Link had always pictured it would be.
"Wow," he said as they reached the soldier.
"That's what I'm hoping to say tonight," Pipit said with a little grin. "I've heard things about the bars here. Good things. I've heard even better things about the women. Think I'll find someone who looks like Midna?"
"Sorry to disappoint you, Pip. I don't think anyone looks like Midna except for Midna."
"Mm, true that," Pipit replied. "Maybe I can find a sort-of-look-alike."
"Good luck," Link said.
In no time, the landing area near the army base was rising up to meet them. Descending through the cool layer of mist that blanketed the island, Link watched as the sunlight faded. He understood why Twilight was so dark, and why its inhabitants were so pale.
And why demons found it a refuge…
The two loftwings hadn't yet landed when Link and Pipit caught the eye of two passersby.
"Look at those two cute brunettes," Pipit said with a hungry look. "See them?" Crimson's giant wings flapped a few more times before flattening against his sides. He dropped carefully to his belly. Link eyed the tall buildings encircling them as his feet touched the lush grass. The place smelled of flowers – similar to Midna, but not nearly as good.
"I see them," Link said trying not to sound as disinterested as he felt.
"I think I found our dates for tonight."
…
Link's meeting with General Ani was uneventful, routine and predictable – other than the fact that the general turned out to be a woman. As Link talked privately with the tall, thin, grey-haired lady with sharp green eyes, he smirked, amused by the irony of the situation; only Midna's home state would put a woman at the head of its entire army.
Link suppressed a yawn as he answered the same old questions: what did you see in the demon realm? Who did you meet? What did they tell you?
Etcetera, etcetera, blah, blah, blah…
Link's eyelids felt heavy again. Maybe it was the vegetable pasta they'd given him while he waited – for what seemed like forever – for General Ani to summon him. On the bright side, he had the opportunity to watch Pipit stare off into space for at least an hour. Link would have addressed his friend's preoccupation with the cobwebs in the far corner had it not been for the other people in the room. Instead, Link counted the number of times he was able to snatch Pipit's hat off of his head. He only apologized after the tenth time when Pipit seemed to be getting genuinely annoyed. Link then proceeded to steal it another three times, chuckling partially at the ease of it, but more so at Pipit's whininess.
In the general's office, sleep tried to have its way with him, but he beat it back. He could rest later. He did need to make up for his lack of sleep, though. Any sleep he had managed to get lately was marred by disturbing dreams. It wasn't proving to be very refreshing. Quite the opposite, really.
Link's mouth was moving but his mind was absent. All he saw was the demon's face; all he heard were his haughty words. The vibrant picture of the previous night's dream just wouldn't relent. He could still see the demon's house, his bedroom, his silky bed, the metal around his own wrists, and his confusing feelings.
"This companion of Ghirahim's," the general said. One of Link's eyes twitched at the name. "Azrael, I believe he is called…"
Link had heard it all before. Bored, the woman's voice diminished to a drone. He kept eye contact and continued to nod, but his thoughts were somewhere else.
Why had the demon interrogated him in his dream? Why was he asking about Zelda? Why couldn't he simply read Link's mind like he normally would? The demon had a talent for mind-probing. With the necessary physical interaction, Link was powerless to stop him. What was it about the dream…?
Worst of all, why did the demon have to keep teasing him with the same thing? How many times was this man going to get him worked up only to deny him what any normal person was entitled to after being manipulated like that?
Why do I even care? Link wondered.
"Twilight has led the way down to the surface," the general said proudly. "Dozens more soldiers and knights, some from other states, are following every day. The construction of a large fortification has begun…"
Perhaps the demon thought that Link didn't deserve it; but rather that he deserved only a taste of his talents; just enough for Link to be left anguished and desperate; the same sort of desperate that Pipit had described earlier. The idea was a little bit maddening.
Link pulled on his shirt collar and cleared his throat.
The details of Fi's story seeped in, adding to his already hefty collection of opinions about the demon. The way she spoke of him in that musical voice was…odd. He didn't sound like an evil overlord at all. What happened to him between the end of the war and the present time to bring about such a change?
"The demon realm is home to several impressive breeds of creatures called horses," Ani explained. "The surface, as I am told, holds a race of desert dwellers who are known for herding this same type of animal…"
No wonder he seems strangely passionate about Fi. I wonder if she slept with him. Link pressed his fingers together thoughtfully. I hope not. Sounds like she made out with him, but even I—
"You've been most helpful, Sir Link," the general said. Link's gaze moved back to her. "Thank you for your time, and for coming all the way from Skyloft.
Not like I had a choice.
"You're very welcome," Link said, responding to her cue by standing and giving a small bow. His hand brushed the top of his head, finding nothing where his green knight's cap would have been. Pleased with his urbanity, the general offered an approving smile.
Link found his friend in the waiting area outside of the general's office. He was still sitting, daydreaming away. Looking through a nearby window, Link noticed that the day had nearly turned to night. It must have been just about dinnertime.
"Well, I'd say 'how typical' about us having to wait for so long," Link began, "but I'd seriously expect some enraged woman to spring out of the woodwork and smack me." The smile that he had aimed toward Pipit slowly shrunk to nothing when he didn't even acknowledge the playfully sexist remark. "Pip?"
"Huh?" Pipit almost yelped.
"You ready to go?" Link asked.
"Sure… Where're we going?" Link gave him an analytical look.
"They're putting us up for the night," he said distantly, thinking about something different. "Cyainus is forty minutes away, and it's already getting too late to fly."
"Okay," Pipit said, finally looking at him.
"Pipit, what is wrong?" Standing over him, Link put his hands on his hips. "Why are you acting all quiet and weird? You were fine on the flight over here. Not feeling well? Is something wrong?"
"What do you mean?" Pipit asked, sounding as though even he didn't believe the sincerity of his question. He looked away and sighed, lacing his fingers on top of his head. "Okay. I'm just distracted."
"About what?"
"I dunno… I'm just thinking about Karane…"
"Yeah?" Link's inquisitive expression stayed put.
"Just got a lot on my mind," Pipit said.
"Trying to decide how to break the news to Karane when we get back?" Link asked, bringing his eyes up to Pipit as he stood up.
"Among other things."
"Well, I know just what you need," Link said as they walked down a dark hallway toward the exit. "A night out. I asked this guy about good places to go in the area. You probably don't remember because you were so in the zone that you were practically drooling—"
"Geez, can't a guy think at all?" Pipit complained.
"You're not usually like that, Pip." The pair stepped outside. The rhythmic chirping of crickets dominated the entire area. They looked up, viewing the stars through the mist. They started making their way across an open field. "Anyway, I have directions to our hotel. It's not gonna be as nice as the Crown Plaza, but oh well. It's actually right on the outskirts of Twilight Knight Academy."
"Ooh, it's the acclaimed TKA," Pipit said.
"It is. It's what you've been waiting for."
"Yeah…" Pipit scratched his head.
"Sheesh, tone down the enthusiasm, Pipit."
"I'm celebrating on the inside," Pipit said.
"Well, I know what I'm gonna do when we get to the restaurant," Link said, grinning.
"Follow my lead to the bar?" Pipit asked.
"Nope. This place is like a big version of the Lumpy Pumpkin. And what's the Lumpy Pumpkin always good for?"
"Getting drunk, dancing with a hot chick and then getting used by said hot chick?"
"Besides that…" Link said. "What spreads around the Lumpy Pumpkin like wildfire?"
"Mononucleosis?"
Link sighed. "No, Pip. Gossip. Rumors. People's business."
"Trying to get the inside scoop on Midna before you decide if she's the one or not?"
"I need no confirmation," Link replied. "Actually, I plan on asking as many people as I can if they know anyone by the names of Kiri and Arn."
"Ah," Pipit said, snapping his fingers. "We're going on a man hunt."
"Right."
"Mom and dad hunts are better than being 'pressed into service' by Demon Lord Grima for the evening…"
…..
The stroll from the army base to the college campus was surprisingly pleasant. The air felt different here. Link figured it was the mist. Maybe that was what gave Midna's skin that healthy sheen.
Quite a few students were out on this cool Saturday evening, walking from one building to another, or leaving campus altogether. Coincidentally, many students were wearing the same long, dark, hooded cloak with the helter-skelter design down the back that Midna would wear around Skyloft before she had adjusted to the sun. The sight brought him back, and got him thinking.
Down several walkways lined with towering lamps and past a group of stone academic buildings, they at last neared the residential area of the campus. On either side of them, long three-story buildings formed quadrangles around large, open curtilages. Admiring the fine landscaping, Link wished that Skyloft's dormitory setup was like this. It felt cozier; better than repetitive, perfectly parallel rows of buildings. It was like General Sheik had designed the architecture back home.
Several more minutes of walking brought them all the way across campus and onto a path which led to an adjacent village. Their hotel would be located there.
"Isn't this place neat?" Link asked as they pushed through the darkness. The firelight of the village was quite inviting.
"Mmm," Pipit agreed.
"I wonder which building Midna lived in?"
"Wanna go creep around her old dorm?" Pipit asked.
"Of course not."
"Might be fun, though."
The two friends passed by a pond, alight with fireflies and occupied by some very large frogs, by the sounds of it. Link purposely turned his eyes down as they slipped past a couple fervently making out under a willow tree by the water's edge.
"Take a lesson," Pipit whispered.
After leaving behind a statue of the Goddess and skittering down a steep hill, the hotel showed itself. With five floors and no castle motif, it was obvious that their accommodations had been downgraded.
"This place is dinky," Pipit said.
"Oh, who cares?" Link asked as they entered the covered walkway along the side of the building. "Let's just get around to the front. The inside always looks better."
Just as Link suggested, the inside was much more impressive than the outside. Polished floors, vases full of roses and fancy furniture greeted them as soon as they entered the lobby. The pretty, pale young attendant behind the front desk handed the two friends their keys, courtesy of the Twili army, as she told them.
"Gotta love that swimming pool smell," Pipit noted as they crossed the room toward their target: the stairwell.
"Wanna go for a dip?" Link asked, tossing the brass key over his shoulder from behind before catching it.
"Actually, I wouldn't mind just vegging out in our room," Pipit grumbled.
"What?" Link asked, not believing what he was hearing. "You? Want to veg out on Saturday? In a new town? With that huge bag of rupees that we still have from yesterday? No way."
"Yes way," Pipit said uncaringly. They started ascending the stairs in the utterly non-fancy stairwell.
"Now I know something's wrong," Link said. "You wanted to go out before."
"I'm fine."
Room twenty-five on the second floor was easy to find. Standing in front of the wooden door, Link and Pipit nabbed the attention of a young couple down the hall. Link inserted the key, twisted and pushed. Then, he waited, expecting Pipit to sweep him off of his feet and over the threshold, all in the honorable name of the shock factor. As Link looked at the two people a few doors down, Pipit lumbered past him and into the room. Link followed, sort of disappointed that he didn't do it; it would've made for a good laugh afterward. The door shut with a heavy slam.
Link halted mid-step as he scanned the room. It was on the small side, provided no balcony, had a tiny bathroom, minimal décor, and – worst of all – one bed. And it was small. Pipit didn't hesitate to face-plant right onto it. All stretched out, he took up the entire mattress.
"Is this supposed to be a joke?" Link asked, staring at the double bed.
"Looks like we're sharing a bed tonight," Pipit said with his face buried in the comforter. Link shook his head.
"Why would they give us a room with one bed?" he asked.
"Maybe General Pajaro spread the word," Pipit said, his voice muffled.
"Doesn't make sense."
"What?" Pipit asked, looking at Link. "I'm a good bedmate. Just ask Karane. I only coerced her into sex twice last time."
"Uh-huh."
"Man, if it's that big of a deal, I'll sleep on the floor," Pipit said. "I really don't give a crap."
"No, you can have the bed, Pip. I'll take the floor."
"No," Pipit urged him. "You take it." Link took a huge, frustrated breath.
"Now you're making me feel bad."
"It's settled then," Pipit said, sitting up. "We share, and you can use my ass as a pillow."
"Deal," Link said, "as long as you go to The Astrid with me tonight."
"Fine, fine," Pipit said. He fished the fat brown bag out of his pants pocket. It made a satisfying chink as he threw it from one hand to the other. He chuckled. "This trip's been a real gravy train, eh?"
"Let's go take advantage of it," Link said, yanking Pipit to his feet.
…
Dim lighting, a huge crowd, loud music, a lively atmosphere – this place certainly was along the same lines as the Lumpy Pumpkin. The only difference, as far as Link could tell, was the pumpkin-free menu.
He ambled along, striding through a sea of knight's and soldier's uniforms. But, just like at home, casual clothing still dominated the building.
Booths ran along the walls. Round tables filled the enormous dining area. Four separate bars, even bigger than any in Skyloft, stretched along every wall. Amazingly, most stools were filled, as were the booths and tables. Even the dance floor in the middle of everything was beginning to fill up.
Most noticeable of all were the stares from the ladies – they were cutting, almost fanatical. In groups, in pairs and by themselves, the females – and some males – ogled, fascinated by the stranger in the unique green tunic. The way that some of them pointed and whispered suggested that they knew who he was.
Feeling almost like he'd reached celebrity status, Link laughed to himself. Midna had said that he, being the winner of the first Wing Ceremony as well as number one in the sparring ring, was well-known around her school. He didn't realize just how well-known until tonight. It was going to be easy to strike up conversations with these Twili. That was fine by him. It seemed as though nothing had been simple lately, and he was due.
How much easier would it have been to attract the interest of onlookers if he'd had the help of his charismatic friend? Link had a feeling that he might not find out.
Through the animated crowd he could see Pipit. He was seated in the center of the bar beside the main entrance, slouched over a very large mug. Every time Link looked at him he had a different woman next to him. Link scoffed. Pipit didn't even need to be up and about for the ladies to flock to him. Completely inanimate, he was a centripetal force.
It was strange to see him like that, though. The rapid turnover of women indicated that Pipit wasn't giving any of them a reason to stay. His disinterest was profoundly uncharacteristic. By all rights, Pipit could have easily been halfway back to the hotel by now with at least one woman on his arm.
As another girl got up from the bar and left, Link shook his head. How long had Pipit been sitting there? Twenty minutes? Forty? However long it had been, it was ample time for Pipit to order quite a few drinks. Link knew he was going to be Pipit's crutch on the way back to the room.
Link could only see the back of his friend's head. The length of his long knight's cap lay unmoving on his back. What was bothering him? What was really on his mind? What was he saying, or not saying, to drive people away?
Music rose up anew. Link picked out the harmonization of three violins, muddled by several other instruments. He shut his eyes, thinking about his own violin—
"Excuse me?" A gentle voice sliced straight through Link's worry, somehow overtopping the loud music. He turned around and came face-to-face with a light-skinned young woman dressed in a grey tunic, complete with hat and swirling red design. Her tawny eyes were large and inquisitive.
"Yes?" Link asked, watching her finger curl around a brown strand of hair.
"Are you, um…" She gestured toward his clothes. "The one from Skyloft who won the Wing Ceremony?"
"Oh, yeah, I am." He met her gaze, reckoning he would sound arrogant if he didn't ask the question. "How did you know?"
"No one else wears a tunic that shade of green," she replied, her eyes dropping to study him. Link didn't move. "That color is exclusive to this year's Skyloftian winner." The girl gave a subtle smirk as one brow came up. Link quickly looked her over. His curious eyes did not go unnoticed.
This girl was attractive but slightly awkward. Link had an inkling that she was forsaking her own shy personality to win him over.
"Did you wanna sit down somewhere?" he asked, figuring the girl deserved his full attention for her efforts.
"Definitely," she said, shuffling through a wall of people. Link followed her.
They promptly arrived at the same stretch of bar that Pipit was occupying. A dozen seats away, Pipit didn't see them. Sitting to the girl's right, Link leaned over and caught a glimpse of him, wallowing in rather boisterous solitude.
"I've never spoken with the winner of a Wing Ceremony before." Link looked to his left. The petite young lady was grinning from ear to ear. "Let alone the champion of the very first ceremony of the year."
"Oh, yeah," Link said with a nod.
"Skyloft's tradition with the Ceremony of the Goddess and the hero is an interesting one. Makes me wish Twilight would have its own yearly competition."
"Skyloft's ceremonies wouldn't be so novel, then," Link remarked. "Especially the first big one."
"Wouldn't want to steal your thunder," the girl said with a flirtatious smile.
"I suppose not," Link replied.
"What can I get for you two?" the heavyset, dark-haired man behind the bar asked.
"A martini, please," the girl answered, quickly returning her eyes to Link. "Actually, one for each of us."
"Well…" Link looked at the bartender. "My friend has my money, and—"
"My treat," the girl said happily. "Your greenest olive for my new friend, please," she said to the bartender.
"Coming right up, the man said, turning around to mix their cocktails.
"You don't have to do that," Link said, making a sour face as he watched.
"My pleasure." In less than a minute, two martini glasses were placed in front of them. As the girl handed the rupees to the bartender, Link stole another look at Pipit. He hadn't moved an inch.
"To Skyloft's undefeated," the girl said, raising her glass. Smiling, Link picked up his own.
"Cheers," he said. Their glasses met with a clink. He took a long sip. A gush of warmth filled his throat. He tried not to cough.
"So," the girl began, plucking the olive out of her drink. Looking Link in the eye, she ran her tongue around its smooth surface. He blinked a few times. "How does it feel to be the blue-eyed beast?"
"Uh…" Link took another sip, wincing and imagining Pipit's chuckles. "I can't really tell you. But I can tell you how it feels to be a blue-eyed…regular person." The two stared vacantly at one another. "I'm not a…beast."
"You are in the sparring ring, as well as in the air, am I right?"
"I dunno. Maybe." He shrugged.
"A champion in humility, too," she said, sucking on her olive some more.
"What's your name?" Link asked, twirling his glass.
"Mora," she said, almost finishing her drink. Link nodded.
"Mora…"
"Kind of sad that I know so much about you, but you've never heard of me."
"Well…" Link wasn't sure what to say.
"It's okay. I'm not someone special like you."
"Well, I wouldn't say that, I mean…" he mumbled.
"I'm just a regular second-year knight student," she said, batting her eyes nonchalantly. "I hardly talk to anyone, so hardly anyone knows me."
"I don't talk to many people either," Link admitted. "I don't have that many close friends, really."
"You?" Mora seemed genuinely shocked.
"It's true. I have a lot of acquaintances…" He stopped, realizing that she wanted more of an explanation than that. "Well, I'm pretty close with some of the people who live in my building at home. This girl named Zelda has always been my best friend, along with Pipit. And then there's Fledge, this guy who's even less talkative than I am. He's really good at making stuff."
"One of your best friends is a girl?" she asked.
"Yeah. And then there's this kid Chaise who's part of the band that I'm a part of—"
"Oh, yes, and you're an incredible musician," she said, polishing off her drink.
"Yeah, I've been doing it for a long time, though. Since I was five."
"Wow," Mora said. She signaled for a second martini.
"Other than that, I have…" He paused. "Um, a friend named Fi." He looked away.
"Fi?" she asked. "That's a weird name. Who is she?"
"Just this lady from Skyloft," Link said, laughing in his head about the strangeness of what he was saying.
"A lady? Is she older or younger than you?"
"Older," he said with emphasis. "Much older."
"Okay," Mora said, starting on her second glass.
"And then there's Midna, who—"
"Midna?" She stopped mid-sip.
"Um, yeah…"
The girl scoffed into her drink. "She comes from Twilight?"
"Yeah, that's her."
"Oh, that figures." Her interest immediately seemed to drop.
"Why, what's…?" Link looked at her curiously. "You know her?"
"Who doesn't know Miss Perfect?" she asked, rolling her eyes. Link bit back a grin.
"Perfect?" A smirk broke through. "Gorgeous doesn't mean perfect…"
Mora's eyes narrowed. "Maybe not, but 'great student', 'fabulous archer' and 'man magnet' combined with 'beautiful' make for quite the potent combination, wouldn't you say?"
"What do you know about her other than that?" Link asked.
"Not much, other than that she just moved to Skyloft."
"Guessing you're not terribly upset about that," Link said.
"Can't say I am," she said between sips.
"Did she ever say anything bad to you?"
"No," Mora said, wondering why Link's attention was so diverted. "Why do you keep looking over there?" Link turned back.
"Oh, my friend is down there. I think something's bothering him." Mora followed his gaze.
"That knight in the yellow?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"I was wondering why he was so quiet."
"You talked to him?" Link asked.
"I tried to," she said with a giggle. "I could tell he wasn't from around here by his tunic. I was curious, so I sat next to him. He's cute." Link snorted into his glass. "His accent is like yours. I kind of suspected you knew him before you told me."
"That's pretty observant."
"It's not a Skyloftian accent, though. It's something else…"
"Well, we come from Azuria," Link said.
"Azuria…really? I would've guessed Superna."
"Why?"
"Everyone comes from Superna," Mora said. "Hm. Azuria of all places. Who woulda thought that the Goddess's hero would come from 'farmville'." Link 's mouthful almost went down the wrong pipe.
"The…what?"
"Huh?" Mora blinked extremely slowly. Her eyes almost rolled. Link suddenly realized that this girl had probably consumed more than just those two martinis. He quickly decided that she hadn't stepped out of her comfort zone to speak to him; she had merely expanded her zone by means of alcohol.
"The Goddess's what?" he asked.
He felt a heavy glare coming from somewhere. He looked from one stool to the next, but found only friendly faces, all of which were not looking back at him.
Except for one young man who was eight seats down. A black knight's cap sat on top of a tuft of reddish-blond hair that seemed even more untamable than Pipit's. When Link's gaze came to him, he turned his dark eyes down to his mostly full mug, obviously in no hurry to avoid eye contact.
"Oh." Mora indulged in a silly laugh. "Just rumors."
"Rumors…" Link repeated, not yet ready to take his eyes off of the unhappy stranger. He examined him for a few more seconds before refocusing on Mora.
Her eyes were reddening and she was looking more drained by the minute. He hadn't come here to watch women get drunk; he had come for answers.
"Do you happen to know two people by the names of Kiri and Arn?" he asked, knowing he was running out of time with her.
"Kiri?" She rubbed her forehead.
"Yes, and Arn," he said, hoping to glean even a snippet of information from her. He sighed, wishing he had asked earlier.
"Hm."
She dazed for so long that Link wondered whether she was going to respond or not.
"No, I don't think so," she said at last. Link sighed again.
Who else should I ask? he asked himself.
"You could always ask me, sky child."
Link gasped, staring blankly behind the bar at the rows of glass bottles. They glistened in the dim, flickering light.
"Oh, wait," Mora said, trying to straighten up. "I think I remember, um…"
"Yeah?" Link asked, still taken aback by the demon's sudden intrusion.
"My best friend, Marla—"
"Does every girl's name in Twilight begin with an 'M' and end with an 'A', or something?"
"A lot of them do," Mora said, oblivious to why he was questioning it. "But, Marla used to take music lessons when we were kids. She plays, um…" She tapped her fingers on the counter. Link's eyes widened.
"Yes?" he asked.
"The cello."
"Oh, yeah?" Link asked, his interest piqued.
"Or is it the viola?" Mora looked at the ceiling.
"There's a big difference between the cello and viola," Link pointed out, feeling ridiculous for trying to have this conversation.
"Sorry… I think that last drink just…" She shook her head and giggled.
"Yes, I can tell," Link said, studying what was left in his own glass. "So, your friend took music lessons."
"Oh, right. From fourth grade to…sometime in secondary school. She still plays, and she's really good. Her instructor was really awesome…"
"Do you remember the instructor's name?" Link asked, attempting to move things along but wary of getting his hopes up.
"Well, when you said Kiri, I thought of Marla's teacher. I think that might've been the lady's name."
"How many years ago did you say your friend stopped taking lessons?"
"Oh, mighta been nine, maybe ten."
"Oh…" Link said quietly. "Is your friend here?"
"You ask a lot of questions," Mora said. "I mean, why do you care what my friend's old mandolin teacher's name was?"
"I'm looking for someone. So, is your friend here?"
"Oh, hm…yeah," she mumbled, twirling herself toward the crowd. "She's definitely out there somewhere…"
"Think you can find her for me?" Link leaned closer, using his big blue eyes to his advantage. Mora gawked at him.
"Suuure," she replied, sliding off of her stool. She gave him a tipsy smile. "I'll be back as soon as I find her."
Looking significantly plastered, Mora pushed into the mass of people.
"I'm never gonna see her again," Link murmured to himself. He took a quick look at Pipit; he hadn't moved. He set his sights on the ever increasing population in the restaurant. He left the bar, envisioning success and determined to obtain some worthwhile information.
Wandering around, Link found that while most people were friendly, no one seemed to know what he was talking about. Forthcoming meant nothing if no one had any knowledge.
Besides that, his green tunic had a way of derailing everyone's already hazy trains of thought. The subject was perpetually changed to Link's victory in the Wing Ceremony almost as fast as he could say, 'I'm looking for someone.' The attention was nice, but out of place.
An entire half-hour flew by by the time he had made his rounds and was walking back to the bar. Mora wasn't there. He looked at his feet, disappointed that he had most likely lost his only lead to a drunken stupor.
At least Pipit was still there. Link squinted in his direction. Yes, he certainly was there, and was surrounded by women, no less. His approach was cautious at first, but he sped up when he saw how upset Pipit was. Link dashed up to him, weaving between ladies of various sizes. All eyes turned to him as he took his place next to his friend.
Link looked down. Pipit face was in his hands.
"Can you guys just…" Link said, motioning for the girls to leave.
"What's up with your friend?" a tall knight asked. "He's really distraught about something." She took a sip of her beer.
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out. So, if you don't mind—"
"Aren't you Link?" another girl asked, pouting her pink lips. She strutted her roly-poly frame over to him.
"Yeah," he answered without looking at her.
"The winner of the—"
"Yes! I am!" Link shouted. Everyone around him jumped, except for Pipit. "Please! I need to talk to my friend, here." He lowered his shoulders and took a breath.
"Okay, okay, geez," the girl said, meandering away with her chattering group of friends. Shaking his head, Link laid a hand on Pipit's shoulder.
"You okay, Pip?" He received no answer. "Pipit?" He shook him around a bit.
"Huh?" Pipit pulled at his face before dropping his hands. Link cocked his head, noting how red Pipit's eyes seemed.
"Are you crying about something, Pip?" Pipit rocked to the side and scoffed. Link grabbed him by the arm just in case.
"Cry…? I don't cry about stuff…" His words were breathy and slurred.
"What's really wrong, Pip? And don't tell me it's Karane, or Zelda. 'Cause you just said it yourself: you don't cry about stuff. And stuff includes girls."
"I think there's something wrong with me," Pipit whined, ruffling his hair under his hat.
"You what? What do you mean?" Link flinched as Pipit snagged him by the sleeve and pulled him closer. Much nearer now, Link gaped into his friend's face.
"I can't stop thinking about him," Pipit whispered heavily. His eyes were fighting to close, and he could barely keep his head in one place. His grip on Link was stronger than he was aware of, almost dragging him into his lap. Link strained to look behind him, paranoid that someone might overhear.
"Who, Pip?" Link laid an arm on the bar.
"Him. Him," Pipit said a bit louder, looking into Link's eyes with urgency.
"Who is him?"
"Calwren," Pipit said.
"What?" Link asked. "Why?"
"I dunno." Still clutching Link's tunic, Pipit looked away. "Ever since last night, I just…"
"Well, good lords, Pip, look what happened," Link said, quietly controlled. "I'm not surprised—"
"It's worse than you think," Pipit said a little louder. Link looked around. "It's bad. It's reeeally bad."
"Uh," Link uttered as Pipit pulled him closer, "why don't we just go. We can talk about it where there aren't so many people."
"Oh, gods, I'm a terrible friend," Pipit whimpered.
"What? No you're not," Link said, trying to urge him to stand up. Link's ire for Ghirahim and his 'playful antics' was rekindled now that he was seeing the true result.
"I am... I bet you haven't even gotten to find out… anything about your parents… What were their names again?"
"It's okay, Pip. What I found out was that I need to go elsewhere for information, and that's fine."
"Awe, man, I'm sorry the people here are so freakin' useless." Link looked around again.
"Pipit, quiet," he said. "Here…" Breaking free of Pipit's hand, Link crouched down and assumed a supportive position under his arm. Pipit had no choice but to stand. Thanks to Link, he didn't topple over. "Geez, Pip, how much did you drink?"
"I have no idea, man," Pipit slowly mumbled. "Why? Do I look a little squiffy?"
"I'd say so," Link said as he hauled Pipit away from the bar.
"A little sizzled? Or slewed? Slopped? Soused? Soaked? Sloshed?"
"Yes," Link said, amazed by Pipit's list of S-words.
"Sorry I'm so…drunk and disorderly," Pipit said, smiling apologetically in Link's face.
"It's all right, Pip," Link said with a grunt, trying to find his bearings beneath what felt like dead weight.
"Nah, I'm a worse friend than that." Link shook his head at Pipit's overly dramatic tone. Focused on the ground, he ignored the amused looks of bystanders.
"No, you're really not, Pipit."
"Seriously… I'm sorry about Zelda."
"You don't need to keep bringing that up," Link said, leading them out the door.
"I'm sorry I want her for myself…"
"It's fine, Pip."
"And wanna take her virginity and everything." Pipit let out a distressed sigh.
"Uumm," Link said as they cleared the foyer, "I think you've ingested too much truth serum tonight, Pip."
"It's really your job, right? I mean…you've been best friends with her, for what…? Like seven decades, or something?"
"Um…"
"You really oughta be the one to deflower her, man."
"Uh, thanks, Pip. I'll…do that." Link rolled his eyes. At a snail's pace, they began the walk back to the hotel.
"Oh, thanks, man…" Pipit nuzzled his face against the top of Link's head. "You're the best best friend ever."
"Thanks."
"I love you, man," Pipit said, sounding as if he might burst into tears.
"…I love you too, Pip." The wobbly pair stepped into the mild night air.
"Hey, when we get back to the room—" Pipit tripped on a stone but was swiftly rescued by his friend. "There's something I've been wanting to do." Link shifted his eyes.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Like really wanting to do," Pipit said.
"Uumm…"
"Holy crap, it'd be the best thing ever!" An amorous look took over his face as fear covered Link's.
"I don't even wanna ask," Link said.
"Well," Pipit started, "do you think you and I could—"
"Pipit!" Shocked and horrified, Link looked up at him. "Good goddesses, don't even say it!"
"What?" Pipit asked.
"Ever since I woke up from that dream, the day's just been…way too perverted…" Link cringed.
"Why, what'd you do that's perverted? Ha, good going." Pipit gave him a congratulatory nudge.
"No, that's not what I mean!"
"I just wanted to ask if you—"
"Oh, Hylia," Link groaned.
"If you wanted to play poker." Link's tense expression melted.
"Play poker?" he asked.
"Yeah. I saw this deck of cards on the bedside table before we left, and—"
"I thought you meant something worse," Link said with a hearty laugh.
"Worse?" Pipit asked, started to yawn. "Like what?" Link chuckled to himself.
"I thought you wanted to play go fish," he said with a relieved eye roll.
"Oh, yeah, that's clearly worse," Pipit said.
"Hey!"
An unfamiliar voice butted its way into Link and Pipit's conversation. Link looked behind him, spotting a man.
After toiling for a bit, Link managed to turn himself and his passenger around. What he saw was not just a man, but the light-haired knight who had been surreptitiously observing him at the bar. He stopped about fifteen feet away, blending almost seamlessly into the foggy darkness with his black tunic.
After facing him, Link looked up at Pipit; his mind seemed out of commission at the moment.
"Yes?" Link called.
"Link, correct?" the knight asked, taking a small step. He placed both hands behind his back.
"Oh no, it's a fanboy," Pipit said in a rattling whisper. "Don't worry, buddy, I got your back." He lifted his head. "Yep, Link, the one and only!" he stated loud and clear.
"Thanks, Pip," Link said with a sigh. A fleeting smile crossed the stranger's face.
"For someone insurmountable in the sparring ring…" The man slid closer. "You don't look like much."
Link looked the slightly taller and huskier man up and down for a moment, getting the feeling that he had not followed them outside to schmooze.
"Hey, man, looks can be deceiving," Pipit loudly proclaimed. "He'll kick your ass. He's a freakin' beast."
"Pipit…!" Link grumbled.
"Mm, I've heard," the knight hummed as he moved forward. "Blue-eyed, as well."
"Heh, the blue-eyed beast," Pipit said to Link. "See, he knows. Guess he's not that much of a moron." Link just looked away and shook his head, contemplating the best way to remove Pipit from this potentially volatile situation. The stranger's odd smile was off-putting.
"What do you want?" Link asked.
"You," the man answered.
"See? I knew it," Pipit declared, wobbling slightly. "A rabid fanboy. He's not interested, pal." But the man simply shook his head.
"No. That's not what I mean."
Link's face twisted. "Then what do you mean?" he asked.
"I'm challenging you," the man said, "to a sparring match."
"What? I don't even know who you are." Link looked around. "Right now?"
"As good a time as ever," the man said happily.
"What the hell time is it, anyway?" Pipit asked.
"A knight defending his honor cares not for what the clock tells," the man said, still grinning.
"Oooh, that's deep," Pipit said with a chuckle, "did you just make that up?"
"Pipit, gods, shut up," Link whispered through gritted teeth.
"So, what do you say, Sir Link?" the knight asked, holding his hands up. Link glanced at Pipit before looking back at the stranger.
"I say no thanks," Link answered, starting to turn around.
"Better things to do, eh?" the man asked.
"A riveting game of poker," Pipit called. "Hey, you wanna join us?" He leaned toward Link's ear. "Bet I can clean this guy out."
"Not as tough as they say?" the knight asked, feigning concern. "You're not scared, are you?" Not bothering to stop, Link finally got him and Pipit pointed in the right direction. They started shuffling away.
"Since when does 'poker' translate to, 'We're off to have sex?'" the man asked flatly, sneering when Link's step momentarily faltered. Facing away, Link took a breath and looked up at the moon. Exhaling, he fixed his eyes on the path back to the hotel.
"Did you hear what he said?" Pipit asked, laughing. "What a derp-head. I'm not even in the mood." The two continued on their way.
"How's Midna?" the man asked, crossing his arms. Link came to a full stop.
"What?" he asked, turning his head.
"Midna," the man emphasized. "How is she?" Looking over his shoulder, Link finally got to see the haughty man in his full glory, thanks to the moonlight. Link faced away again.
"Pip, can you stand on your own?" he asked.
"Well, yeah, probably," Pipit sputtered. "If not I'll just crash to the ground and split my head open, no big deal or any—" Scooting out from under his friend's arm, Link headed straight for the stranger. "…thing," Pipit concluded.
Link planted his feet in front of the man. He looked him straight in the eye.
"Why do you ask?" Link's shoulders were rising and his fingers were flittering. The man's smile grew.
"Oh, no real reason," he calmly replied. "I was just wondering if the sun in Skyloft might've melted that ice queen exterior." Link's eyebrows lifted.
"Ice queen?"
"I heard you guys were together," the man said, lifting his chin. "Thought perhaps you might've broken through the barrier by now."
"I what?"
"She's a stuck-up bitch," the knight burred, a newfound maliciousness in his voice.
"Oooh, you're gonna be sorry you said that," Pipit said from a distance.
"Too good for anyone," the man continued. Link pulled back in surprise. The man gave Link another once-over. Link nodded.
"Oh, I get it," he said, taking a step. "You just gave yourself away."
"Did I? Oh, silly me." The knight tipped his head, giving a sardonic shrug.
"This isn't about me at all," Link said. "It's about her."
"What gives you that idea?" The man marched into his face. Link felt his ears starting to burn.
"Where's the sparring hall?" Link practically growled.
"A two minute walk that way," the man said. Link stepped away, holding his hand out in invitation. "I thought you'd never ask." Winking, the man brushed past him, knocking into his shoulder.
The two barely noticed Pipit laid out in the dirt.
"The stars are prettyyyyy," he sang to himself. Link didn't even look at him.
"We're going to the sparring hall, Pipit," Link said. Pipit turned his gaze to the two knights as they left him behind.
"Brilliant," Pipit said with a pained mumble as he clambered to his feet. "Guy can call you a best friend-humping-coward, but the first mention of Midna and it's like oooooooh noooo you didn't!" He waved his arms about before staggering forward. "Predictable. Cliché." He swept the dirt from his sleeves as he tried to catch up. "Cut into my poker time. I'll kick your ass, myself…"
...
Special thanks to Zelda-Fanatic121 for the word 'deflower', a word she used in a PM months ago. I thought it was hilarious and I'm glad I got to use it.
