Dreams and Desires By Troubled Tazzy
A/N – The chapter you have been waiting for where it will reveal everything, well mostly :) Like always enjoy the rambling of Troubled Tazzy. Some of the characters I use are not mine, but some are made from my own creative mind LOL :)
Chapter 28:
"Beep beep, beep beep," sounded Lily's alarm clock at five minutes to midnight. Peeking open an eye Lily groaned; whilst sitting up and stretching Lily realized she had fallen asleep at her desk, looking down at the work she had read and reread through the day before Lily saw a small note on the corner of her page she had written to herself.
Ancient Runes
Tonight, Midnight
Tallest Tower
Looking at her clock Lily gasped, "I'm going to be late,"
Quickly changing into a different pair of robes, fixing up her hair and grabbing some books Lily looked at the clock again; ten minutes had past and Lily was now extremely late. Running from staircase to staircase Lily was now finally at the door that led to the Tallest Tower. Opening it with a quivering hand Lily frowned, as she couldn't understand why she was so nervous. The door creaked open and Lily stepped casually in, looking around the room she saw it was deserted, there were no lights on, and the only light she saw was the moonlight that beamed through the windows. Lily frowned; looking at her watch she saw it was twenty minutes past midnight.
"Where is everyone," Lily mumbled as she stepped further in the room.
A small creak from behind Lily made her jump, turning around; she looked into the eyes of the James. Tears filled in her eyes; she couldn't stop them and soon she was crying. Just looking at him this close up made Lily want to run, but he was blocking the door; all she could do was step away from him.
"Where is everyone," Lily sniffed as she controlled her tears.
"No one is coming Lily," James replied in a sad tone.
"What, but… Sirius and Remus, they were talking about it," mumbled Lily as she felt her eyes go glazy.
"I told them to do that Lily," James replied as he stepped towards her.
"Why?" was all Lily could think of to ask.
"I needed to talk to you Lily, I need to tell you what happened and why it happened, the only conclusion I came to was to lie and I'm sorry I've done it," James told her as he moved even closer to her, reaching out and touching her elbow.
"NO!" yelled Lily as she ran around him and to the door, but it was locked; searching her pockets Lily realized she had forgotten her wand.
"Please open the door," Lily cried.
"You have to know Lily," mumbled James, ignoring her last remark.
Lily slid down the door in defeat, she huddled herself up and clung onto her legs, rocking back and forth; sniffing occasionally. James moved to sit next to her but before he sat down Lily spoke.
"You have ruined everything for me," she mumbled softly, but James still heard it. Gulping slightly James moved away from her and sat on a table.
"My parents are good people," James began as he watched Lily.
"But they were never like the way they are now; they used to hate what they had become, they hated everything about the wizarding world, and they disregarded what they were capable of; it's a wonder how they can actually stand each other," James smiled at the last bit but took it off as Lily was still rocking.
"They had had enough when they had me and found out that I was one of them also; I grew up brain washed from my parents to hate what I was and to hate other people that were wizards or witches also; it wasn't until when I was 8 years old that my father came home from work and told us the story on how he was contacted by a group called "the others" he told us they had tracked us down especially, because they knew we had information about our world and how we could give them the secrets on how to destroy it; secret quarters were built in many different areas; we never knew who the people were they always had masks on and called each other by a number rank, my mother was number 13, my dad was number 9 and I had risen to number 4 throughout the time we were with them. Months ended up passing and nothing of a whisper of attacking the wizarding world left any of their lips, so we waited patiently until one summer afternoon the phone rang; they had found two wizards who were working in an undercover at one of our local banks; they were in a society called "The Order of The Phoenix" they had come to spy on us as they had found out that the local bank was one of our head quarters; so when number 1 found out he put me to the test, to see if I was capable of being in the top 3; my father explained to me that I had to corner the two wizards and kill them; he said that if I refused I would be killed by number 1, it was a mission I could not refuse. Two pictures were sent to me with their names on the top; I realized then that it was a witch and wizard; they were your parents Lily," mumbled James as his voice cracked but he continued on strongly.
"There was also another photo, a picture of their only daughter who was the same age as me; her red hair and her green eyes smiled back at me; it was then that I realized what I was doing, you released me from the monster I had become; that smile showed me the love in the world and how what I was about to do; would never let you smile like that again. I told my father that night that I couldn't do it; but he would not hear of it, he told me if I didn't he would kill me himself; but I didn't care I may as well die from the way I have behaved. But when he saw me holding your picture firmly in my hand; he snatched it away and smiled a horrid smile that still haunts me to this day. he told me that if I don't do the job I am meant to do, then he will kill you, he told me it would be nice and slow and he'd watch the life go out of them enchanting eyes that I had fallen for the first moment I saw the picture. I gulped, I didn't know what to do; he watched me carefully, and he threw the picture of you onto the fire; I watched as it bubbled and turned to ash,"
"If you do not do this James, her life will be on your hands also," my father said to me before leaving the room, I collapsed in a chair and cried; my mourning stopped when the phone rang and moments later my father returned with a crazed smile on his face.
"Tonight your job is to be completed," was all he said before shoving my wand and coat into my hand and shoving me out the door. He gripped onto my shoulder hard as the thought of running away had crossed my mind; he led me towards the bank, where I saw both of the victims inside cleaning up; I watched as they picked up their things and closed and locked up the bank; we weren't next to their car as they approached us, my father put my hood over my head before he disappeared into the darkness and I was left standing their; but I knew I couldn't run the picture of them beautiful green eyes crossed my mind before I held up my wand and yelled "Expelliarmus" to disarm both the victims, they were taken by surprise, and their wands left them and fell metres away from them. They started moving backwards as I pushed forwards; entering the alleyway I saw the fear in the woman's eyes, but the man stayed strong as he knew their time had come," gulping slightly as he saw Lily shaking the only thought that came across his mind was to continue.
"I told them I was sorry, but they only looked at me questioningly; your mother pleaded with me but the thought of you getting hurt; I didn't know what else to do; I lifted my wand towards your father and yelled out the killing spell; your mother screamed and pleaded with me but I raised my wand again and…" but James cut off as he heard Lily crying loudly.
Shaking all over at the sound of her crying James continued. "As I left them my father came out of hiding smiling a broad smile; punching my shoulder friendly like as he smiled at the though of having his son be with the top numbers; but all I could do was shake; we were only metres away from the murder scene before we saw a red light and I was suddenly laying on my back; my dad was lying next to me; we couldn't move; but moments later a boy stood over us; with a smile on his mouth as he kicked me in the side,"
"Severus," yelled out a voice from somewhere behind us; the boy stopped but before we were knocked unconscious a man stood above us; with sparkling blue eyes and a long beard he frowned down at us; but looked at me shocked as he saw a single tear slip down my cheek,"
"Both my parents were taken away from me, and I was sent to a foster wizarding family, that taught me all over again; but this time for the better; I wasn't reunited with my parents until the year I was to start my first year at Hogwarts," James smiled at the memory as his parents had changed they were happy, kind people; that now thought that what they had wasn't a curse but was a gift.
James gulped as Lily didn't look at him throughout the entire time he spoke; sitting in silence for a few moments Lily finally spoke.
"Why weren't you sent to Azkaban?" Lily asked as she looked at James. James saw she has bloody shot eyes but he still thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"Dumbledore had given me a second chance; he went to the Ministry of Magic and pleaded my case; he believed in me when no one else did," James replied as he got up and knelt next to Lily.
He touched her shoulder; but feeling her flinch he moved his hand away.
"I love you Lily; what I have done I know you can never forgive me; but ever since I saw you in that picture and the first time we officially met in Diagon Alley; I knew that you had enchanted me and I will always love you," whispered James as he got up and looked down at Lily.
Lily was breathing heavily; getting up also she quivered; glancing up at James she slapped him; a moment of pain in which he took, he didn't flinch and he didn't move away. Lily cried harder as it did nothing, she punched into him crying and yelling out "I hate you," but James only stood there; getting exhausted Lily stopped she leaned into James. James wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.
"I hate you," whispered Lily as she hugged him back.
"I hate myself," James whispered back as tears started to pour down his cheeks.
A/N – Well how'd you like that?? It shocked me, by just writing it LOL. Thank you for all the reviews and I know heaps of you have been confused so I hope this chapter will erase all confusion :) But as always please review :)
Love Always Troubled Tazzy
P.S If I made any mistakes I apologize :)
