LEA
Jake was pacing, we'd moved to the living room after my boyfriend had yelled out for Embry. From the muffled answer above I thought maybe he was in Becky's room, hopefully with Becky and maybe the two of them had finally reached some sort of impasse. Jake was making the small growling noise he tended to emit when his patience was wearing thin. I hoped whatever Embry was doing above he didn't draw it out because I had the feeling Jacob might go crashing up there to get him if he didn't appear soon.
I couldn't take my boyfriend's constant agitated movement anymore. My nerves were rattled too, but Jake striding back and forth in front of me was not going to do anything to calm either of us down. Standing again from my present seat on the couch I crossed to where Jacob currently was, he paused to look at me curiously as I suddenly grabbed his shirt to pull him down, locking our mouths into an intense, distracting kiss. The interruption worked and I felt the warm grasp of my boyfriend wrap around my form. I broke the embrace after only a few brief moments, but it was enough Jake's breathing was steadier and he was focused on me now with his gaze.
"What was that for?" Somehow during the walk back from speaking to Robert's Grandma we had switched moods. The more both of us thought about what we had learned the more agitated Jacob was becoming. Quite the opposite the more I got to reflect on and categorize my ideas and feelings the more I was able to look at everything with a cool head.
"Because I love you. Do I need a reason to kiss my boyfriend?" I tried to muster a look of absolute innocence while staring up at the large man who was peering at me with a mildly critical gaze; finally Jake's expression switched to a smirk as he shook his head.
"Yeah I'm stalking around here like an asshole I know. I'll try to calm down." Jacob let out a deep breath and I couldn't help being impressed that my wolf has read me so easily. Reaching out to grasp one of his large hands I squeezed it gently as I pulled him back towards the couch with me.
"After everything you just found out I really can't blame you for being a little beside yourself." Originally Jake was going to call his dad as soon as he got back to the house, but as we were approaching the front steps just a few moments previous, he'd declared to me he'd revised that plan and thought explaining everything to Embry first might be better. Jacob wanted his friend's opinion thinking Embry would form a more intelligent explanation to express everything to the pack back home. I thought it was rather wise of him and agreed.
Jake's head lifted and straining my ears I realized there was finally footsteps moving towards us now. It took a few moments but Embry and also Becky, both came tromping down the stairs. I watched an uncomfortable expression flash across Jake's face when he saw my friend and it dawned on me that now he was going to have to explain away him and Embry needing to leave us because Jake could not explain everything that had just happened in front of Becky.
"What in the hell is wrong with you?" Embry looked annoyed and I got the very clear impression we'd interrupted something. Jake stood up from the couch again and gestured with his head towards the roof.
"I need to talk to you." Jacob's gaze was intense and I was surprised, commanding. The tone one would picture the Alpha wolf using. Embry's expression immediately changed, reading the seriousness of what was unfolding in front of him and nodded.
"Sure." Jake crossed the room towards the stairs and Embry wordlessly followed. I sighed watching the two men exit and wondering how Jacob was going to explain all of this to his friend when I felt a pointed glare being aimed at me. I turned to see Becky studying my face, her expression grim and tinged with sorrow.
"Something else I'm not allowed to know?" There was acid in her tone and a brand new wave of guilt swept through me that I knew had to show clearly across my face. I fidgeted around on the cushion I was sitting on, wishing I could have some good explanation to give her and knowing one simply did not exist.
"We may have had a break in the case." Maybe if I made the information work related it wouldn't bother her as much, but to my dismay Becky's frown just grew deeper.
"Then why aren't you the one telling Embry about it?" I blinked for a moment, Becky's tone was more hostile then I'd expected and her question very well phrased because I didn't have an easy answer to it.
"I figured I would leave it up to Jake to explain what's going on to his friend." Even I thought that excuse was lame, but I tired to keep a neutral expression on my face.
"That's bull." Becky rarely got aggressive, but when something really bothered her she tended to not hold back regarding her feelings about it. "You've never played second string to anyone and you used to work with Chris who was probably the most assertive guy I've ever met. Yet now for some reason Jake is always the one in charge. It's constantly his judgment calls and all of us bending to his whim. I'm beginning to think this relationship you're in isn't as good for you as I've thought it was."
I felt something inside of me snap at the implication that Jake was somehow oppressing me. I took a deep breath trying to school the brewing anger inside of me before I said something I would regret. "Becky I'm sorry but you just don't understand…" I was about to attempt to explain to my friend something to make everything she had just pointed out not sound as terrible as she obviously thought it was, but she cut me off before I even started.
"That's my problem isn't it? You live this secret life now, with all these new people that I'm beginning to realize you've never really told me anything about. And now I'm starting to fall for one of your friends and questioning if it's even a good idea." With a look of distress Becky sank down into the arm chair next to the couch I was sitting on. I felt a fresh wave of remorse wash over me, I could clearly remember how it made me feel when I'd been left out of the big enigma in Jake's life and it wasn't even as bad as it had to be with Becky. I'd completely been an outsider, but Becky trusted me and I knew I was letting her down.
"Embry's worth all the annoyance Becky, I can tell you that. Just like Jacob was for me. I know I've changed and I know a lot of what I do doesn't make much sense but it's all for genuine reasons and they are good ones I promise you." The conviction was clear in my face, inside I felt so torn. I really wanted to say something that would make things better for my friend, but I just wasn't certain what. I finally understood just how beside himself, Jake must have felt when he wanted to tell me and I had a whole new respect for just how much pain he must have went through.
"I think I'm falling in love with him Lea, I think I'm getting to the point where I might be ready to consider the prospect of changing my life for Embry, but how can I when there is a whole side of all of your story that I know I don't understand. What really bothers me is the fact it's your boyfriend that seems to be deciding my fate, something about that just doesn't sit well with me." Becky's hands were folded in her lap, she had a tired look on her face, and I could tell this topic had been weighing heavily on her the last few days. I sighed leaning forward myself, a thoughtful look crossing my expression.
"I know you may not believe me but I actually understand were you're coming from better then even you know." My voice grew softer as my mind went back to the night I found out about Jake's ability to transform and I really hoped that if Becky did learn everything it wasn't in such a shocking way.
"Then why are you allowing all of this to happen? Lea you were always one of the most fiercely independent people I knew. I don't understand, I mean I can see how much you and Jake love one another, but I don't get why you listen to him like you do. Why he seems to have a power over you?" Becky's expression was plain. She just wanted to figure out why so many familiar things to her had turned upside down and why the world was now so confusing.
I floundered, uncertain how to actually answer her. I couldn't explain the shape shifting or the fact Jake was the Alpha wolf or the odd way I'd comfortably been drawn into his pack and the fact it seemed natural to me that we all operated and lived the way we did. It really was like a family and Jacob wouldn't question giving his life for any one of us. We respected him for that reason and listened to him, he made the rest of us feel security and safety and it dawned on me then also just what a responsibility my boyfriend had on his shoulders and how stoically he was handling it. Even in my confusion I felt a surge of respect for my wolf.
I glanced up at Becky my mind still racing still trying to categorize something, anything I could tell her to ease her concerns. I did think she and Embry had talked and that things were better with them now and that was why my friend was now focused on her future with him and just what it was going to encompass, but I simply didn't know how to answer that question. No matter how much I wanted to.
Fate seemed to be on my side over the matter, as just as I was stumbling over something to say to her my cell phone rang out again. Becky's expression became slightly cross this was at least the third serious conversation that my phone had interrupted. Glancing at it and seeing the person calling was Chris I could do nothing but spill out apologies, because my old partner needed me and something had to be important and it meant it required my attention as much as my friend did. Only maybe I would actually have an answer for Chris and then maybe I could collect my thoughts a little more before continuing talking to Becky.
Becky looked at me mildly exasperated as I exited the room and I felt even more self-reproach, as I answered my phone and said hello to Chris I knew I was going to have to speak to Jake again, because I needed something to share with my friend. This simple was not fair to her at all. I pushed out the front door, the cooler spring air chasing away a little of the negative emotion hanging around me. I slide down to the stoop before really finally starting the conversation with my old partner.
"What's up?" We'd exchanged greetings and something in Chris's voice put my slightly on edge.
"Why the fuck haven't you called me like I asked?" My brow knit, as I scooted around in my seated position, my brain backtracking trying to remember when Chris had told me to contact him.
"I'm sorry Chris I've had kind of a crazy day so far, when did you tell me to call you? Was I supposed to find something out for you?" I rarely forgot important things like this and I felt a whole new wave of guilt. Maybe in a way Becky was right, maybe I was falling behind on my game and getting more complacent.
"Didn't Embry tell you I needed to talk to you? I asked him to at the station today." Chris's tone calmed down. Once he realized I wasn't just blowing him off, he seemed less annoyed with me. I, on the other hand was just more confused.
"Well I haven't really talked to Em to…" I paused in the middle of my comment as my mind processed what my old partner had actually just related to me. I realized I needed to clarify something he had just said. "Chris did you just say Embry was at the station today?"
"Yeah he said he was dropping something off for you, to someone down in the labs." Now Chris's tone became suspicious when I sounded completely clueless about what he was saying.
"I don't understand. I didn't ask him to do anything for me today, and I have nothing for anyone there to even look at. I was at Rob's this morning." I leaned back against the step behind me, my mind now completely a whirl. Between Rob's grandma's story and Becky and now this I was just getting overloaded today.
"Honestly he was acting pretty cagey, I just wrote it off as maybe I didn't know him very well, but now… why the hell would he even be down here?" Whatever had been important to Chris at the start of the call had seemed to have been forgotten in light of this new mystery.
"I've noticed him and Harry Kim talking some but I don't know why." The idea Embry could be hiding something was bothering me more then I wanted to admit. I sighed deeply. "Hey Chris would it be alright if I called you back? I'd really like to find out what the heck is going on." I glanced back to the doorway to Becky's house I hated to interrupt what I knew was an important conversation between Embry and Jake, but my gut was telling me something was significant about what Embry had been doing.
"Yeah not a problem, I just had a lead I thought you might want to check out with me. I'll go take a look at it first and see if it's even worth our time. I'll call you back later." From the tone of Chris's voice I knew he also wanted a full explanation of what was going on with Embry when he called back.
"Well be careful Chris, we don't know just what's out there, so don't do anything stupid." I briefly wondered what my old partners lead could be. It might make me seem like a terrible person but I just didn't think he could be close to the path of the shifter. I still really felt like we were the only ones that could find and capture it.
"Yeah thanks for your vote of confidence." Chris's voice had a good humor to it. "Hope everything's alright." Which swiftly shifted to concern and I was grateful to him for it.
"I do too Chris, talk to you soon." I hung up my cell, looking out at the street as a small car passed by. Armed with this new information I felt a moment of pause. Something had to be going on with Embry, something he'd obviously hid from both me and Jacob and I couldn't think of a possible reason why.
Standing with a groan I shoved my phone back in the pocket of my jeans, stomping up the stoop and going back inside. The warmth of the house now felt good, I crossed down the hallway meaning to head right to the stairs but paused for a moment when Becky cleared her throat loudly as I passed by the living room. "Are you just going to duck out in the middle of our conversation again?"
I could see my time on the phone had done little to change her mood and I guess I really couldn't blame her. In the same token though my thoughts were currently in about four places and I knew if I tired to have a serious conversation with my friend she was going to end up just getting more furious with me. "Becky I promise we will talk about this more, but I really need to ask Embry something first."
At the mention of her love interest I watch Becky's look become more cautious and saw that now my friend appeared to be studying me. "What do you need to talk to Embry about?" Seeing her expression, I got a very sudden impression that Becky knew something about what was going on with Em and that she had been keeping a secret from Jake and I.
"You know why he was at the station today don't you?" Becky's entire frame stiffened at my question and I knew I'd read her correctly. It was her turn for guilt to flash through her eyes. She seemed to back peddle a little before replying.
"Lea please don't push this. You don't understand what Embry's been going through." Now Becky's tone was pleading. I felt my eyes narrow.
"Wait a minute, you've been making me feel like probably one of the most horrible people in the universe for the last few days because I haven't been able to spill every single detail about my life to you that I want to and you've been keeping secrets from me?" My hand rose to rest on my hip, and I could feel the challenge now rising to my posture. Becky frowned at my sudden change.
"What Embry told me is not my information to tell. It's his issue, and he needs to be able to share it when he feels comfortable. Not be bullied into it by your boyfriend." The remorse and concern that had been on Becky's face once again became annoyance. I could feel my jaw set and my eyes narrow. I was trying to be understanding and good natured and I relate to how aggravating being out of the loop can be, but her now almost constant accusations against my boyfriend were getting to be too much.
"Listen Becky you can be as angry with me about all of this as you want, I'll take whatever you want to say to me with good graces. Except you need to get over this issue you have with Jacob. I think deep down you even know everything you're saying about him isn't true and that your frustration just needs an outlet. Don't make my boyfriend your outlet. You want answers I get that, I'm certain you will get them as soon as possible. I'm fighting for you to know everything and I bet Embry is too, but this is all really complicated. Now I need to go speak to Embry and Jake and maybe you should think about how easy it's been for you and Em to just flat out lie to us the last week." I could feel a little bit of my officer mode shifting into my posture. I tried to remain calm and carefully point out what Becky maybe hadn't clearly looked at yet in this situation. My friend sighed and I could see was troubled by my words. I don't think she wanted conflict between us any more then I did and I do think she could maybe start to understand that we weren't holding back just to annoy her but that it was vitally important.
"Jake's going to be mad at Embry isn't he?" Becky actually also looked a little defeated and I felt new worry prickle in my brain. Wondering just what the two of them could have been hiding from us.
"Becky is this really serious?" I knew she wouldn't give up Em's secret anymore then she would tell anyone mine if it was my confidence she was in. From the way Becky looked away, her brows knitting probably trying to find the right words I knew it had to be. "This day just keeps getting better and better." My voice was dry, exasperated. I just wasn't certain what could possible spring up next.
Becky didn't try to stop me as I walked away this time. Simply watching me, pleading with her eyes for me to do what I could for this man she had grown so attached to. Depending on what the secret was I knew Jake wasn't going to be happy, but I was hoping he wouldn't be furious. Stopping at the bottom of the steps I took one last long deep breath, then squared my shoulders I started my way up to the roof.
AN: I need to start off this author's note with absolutely outstanding news. Voting closed for the non-Canon awards and Feather Moon was lucky enough to win a gold award for Best Wolf/OC story and a bronze award for Best Original Character for Lea. I'm just over the moon I'm so excited and happy and I've never been nominated for anything for my writing let alone won something and I owe such a debt of gratitude to all of you who voted for me.
So thank you! Thank all of you from the bottom of my heart!
I linked to the banners on my profile if anyone wants to see them!
Now the update, kind of a cliff hanger sorry about that, but I really wanted to change perspectives before the huge reveal to Jake and the next couple of chapters should be nuts with a lot of things coming out in the open and maybe we are finally getting closer to where the shifter actually is (I mean Chris has to get a break at some point right?) So I'll continue to work extra hard to squeeze in a little writing whenever I have a free second to try to get the next part up here a little quicker.
Also I'm really pleased people seem to like the way I'm writing the pack members and their wolves. There is more of this to come and it's gonna be a huge plot point in book three which I almost have completely mapped out and I'm so excited to share with everyone. I always disliked Meyers whole extra chromosomes that's why they shapeshift explanation so I'm going to attempt to tackle my own werewolf history!
Big thank you once again to everyone reading this piece and especially Young Simba 94, Squinttern and PastOneonta for your reviews last chapter. I'd been concerned people might not like what I did with Em and you guys liking it really put my mind at ease! Thank you all so much!
As always please PM me or review with any comments, concerns or anything. It may take me a little longer to reply then usual because school sucks but I will write back as quickly as possible! Once again thank you everyone!
