Hinata bit his lower lip in frustration as he glared at the elevator door. He could feel the wallet in his pocket, the unfamiliarity making it feel heavier than it actually was. It felt almost absurd that it bothered him more than the gun in his other pocket. It was hard to relax with both of them, feeling like any minute someone would suspect something.
The elevator's floor bell rang and the doors opened. Hinata glanced around him before entering the elevator, to make sure he would be entering alone. Luckily there wasn't anyone in sight; it'd have felt wrong to be in such a small space with someone, when he had a gun hidden on him. He pressed the button quickly, like the elevator would leave faster that way. He sighed in relief as the doors closed on him. He pushed his hands into his pockets, feeling a bit better when he was holding the items.
Not only did he have a gun, he had presumably more money than he dared to imagine. The stress was almost enough to distract him from his anger.
So after his betrayal had gone awry, Komaeda had decided to just abandon him altogether, leaving Hinata with nothing but a weapon and money. The elevator arrived to the first floor and Hinata stepped out as soon as the doors opened, marching towards the exit to get out as soon as possible.
This was supposed to be a lot better than what he had started with. He had all he originally wanted, yet he felt horribly dissatisfied with the current situation. He had expected to feel more helpless and afraid, but mostly he felt disappointed and… He bit his lip again as he held back from thinking he was lonely, stepping out of the hotel. There was no reason to feel lonely at this point. It was far too late for that.
Perhaps it had been a mistake to waste his time taking care of Komaeda, as the other had said. Hinata should have left as soon as the other's betrayal had been revealed, go and not look back. But some weird motion had kept him there, a thought that maybe everything had been a mistake and it'd be cleared out. That the gun would just disappear from the memories.
But it was there, weighing so heavily in his pocket that it was almost pulling him towards the ground. Before he could stop himself, he had glanced back at the hotel. It felt so foreign, so lonesome to walk alone. He hadn't really been anywhere by himself in such a long time, and now he found himself completely alone. And while there was no reason for it, suddenly it felt a lot colder.
The station was buzzing with people again when Hinata stepped out of the train. The train he had originally planned to continue on was going to leave almost immediately and to catch it he would have to hurry. But he decided to abandon this plan; the feeling was still haunting him and he felt like walking around alone would help him feel less weird about this. This was the same station they had used the other day, so he was pretty sure he'd find his way back.
As he began to leave the station, he noticed it was a lot harder to avoid bumping into people when walking alone. People paid a lot less attention to him when he was just a lone person in the sea of people. He was feeling a lot more nervous as well, so he kept making careless mistakes and walking right into people. Every time he jumped whenever that happened and his hands reflexively found their way over his pockets, like he was trying to prevent anyone touching them.
It was most likely a useless fear; the gun was so small that it was easy to hide in the pocket without anyone recognizing the shape. He still had a cape of paranoia hovering over his thoughts; it felt like everyone knew what he was carrying, like all the sideway glances were directed at him.
When Hinata finally got out of the station he quickly walked away from it, walking into a vaguely familiar direction. If he was right, this way would lead to the movie theater. He wasn't really going to watch a movie but it gave him some sort of goal to head towards to so he set his mind to get there first. Walking through the streets, he couldn't help but notice how much chatter there was around him; it was almost loud enough for him to not be able to hear his thoughts properly.
It wasn't this loud back then, Hinata thought to himself as he tried to shut off the sounds to focus on his thoughts. Not that there was much to focus on other than his anger. The streets reminded him of Komaeda and the day they had spent completely pretending nothing was wrong, going to movies and to the restaurant…
It had been just three days ago, and the memories were already blurred. He briefly wondered if this was his mind trying to protect him, washing the memories slowly away so that it wouldn't feel as bad. No matter what the reason was, but right now he didn't feel like he minded. It'd make it easier to leave if he could focus his thoughts on just his anger and forget the bad stuff.
Hinata stuffed his hands deep into his pockets again, as he thought of what to do with the gun. No matter how useful it was, he wasn't sure he wanted to keep it with him anymore. He'd rather get rid of it actually, but he didn't feel right just throwing it out wherever. Of course he could throw it in the river but that felt like a waste as well.
As he fiddled with the gun, he felt it clack against somethings in his pocket, and with a frown he took out the two marbles. They shimmered slightly in the light, and Hinata clenched his fist around them as he thought of throwing these away. They didn't pose any danger if someone would happen to pick them up, and they'd be easy to get rid of and forget everything about them. But as he opened his fist and saw Komaeda's marble, he felt his heart twinge as he remembered how vulnerable the other had seemed every time he had asked to see the marble.
Hinata bit down on his lip again, and he could feel his skin turning rough already. If he kept this up, he'd eventually bite his lower lip open. But it felt necessary, like he was somehow suppressing the anger with this small movement.
He closed his hand again as he pushed the marbles back into his pocket and resumed walking.
… They were pretty marbles, it'd be a shame to throw them away.
Hinata sighed in relief as he lifted his eyes up. He had found his way to the arcade again, after wandering for a while. When he approached the door to enter, the door opened before him and a girl with lilac hair walked out, nodding to him as she passed. He glanced at her back briefly; she had a pink and white bunny back bag on her, and she was holding on to its straps like Hinata remembered doing when he was young, even though she seemed to be the same age as he was.
He turned back to the door and entered. As he walked inside for a while, he noticed some of the same kids he had seen with Komaeda, and one of them seemed to recognize him as well as he waved at him. Hinata waved back and hesitantly walked closer; he remembered that this was the boy that had been talking with Komaeda while he had been playing. The boy grinned at him and nodded towards the machine Komaeda had beaten the record on.
"Come look," he said without any explanation, and Hinata followed him a bit confused. The boy sat on the seat and opened the high score screen and Hinata immediately noticed that Komaeda wasn't on the top anymore. On the first place was someone named Usami. The boy glanced at Hinata with a grin but Hinata tilted his head a bit confused in response and the boy sighed.
"C'mon, didn't your friend tell you about the legend? This Usami person is on the first spot on every game here, and even if someone breaks a record, they will take the first spot again next day," he explained and Hinata nodded. So the high score Komaeda had set was now resting on the second spot, having been replaced. Hinata smirked as he stared at the screen.
"So he got overtaken," Hinata said and got a confused glance from the boy, who had rudely put his legs up on top of the panel of the arcade machine. "His high score. It really was just a fluke." The boy shrugged as he turned to look at the machine again.
"Well I don't know, I guess it might have been a fluke. But his record was broken just today, so at least it took a few days even for that Usami to beat it! So it was pretty impressive score no matter if it was skill or luck," he explained before he excitedly jumped from the chair. "Do you want to play some games again? I can teach you if you want!" He didn't really wait for him to answer and began to drag him around to the games he hadn't played last time.
It was a welcome distraction; the boy didn't ask about Komaeda even once, probably didn't even think of him, and Hinata could fully concentrate on just playing with him.
As the boy yelled excitedly when he won against Hinata for the third time in a row, Hinata slightly wished he had spent more time on arcades when he had been a teenager. His parents had said a lot of bad things about these places but from the last time and now he had just good memories.
He stared at the high score screen that had been left open on the game next to him, and he kind of missed the excitement everyone – including him – had had when Komaeda broke that record.
Hinata bit his lip again as he found himself thinking of Komaeda back in the bed, sick and sniffling. He had thought to walk around town to get his thoughts clear of Komaeda, so coming to the arcade seemed really counter-productive.
The station bathroom seemed to be empty when Hinata entered the room. His steps and the running water from the tap when he turned it on seemed to echo in the room; he had deliberately chosen a more remote W.C to get away from the noise, but the complete lack of sounds around him felt almost eerie.
In the end, he hadn't managed to achieve his goal, at all. He had ended up walking pretty much the same roads he had with Komaeda, and despite the fact that he was still angry, he was starting to feel worried and even more than that, he was starting to... He shook his head and began to splash cold water on his face. He was fine alone, he had to be. It was the only way he was safe.
Hinata lifted his eyes to the mirror, water dripping down from the tip of his nose and his chin. He hadn't paid attention to it before, but his reflection looked really tired and stressed. He didn't remember the time when he had looked different however, and that thought was enough to make him bite his lip again. His lips were all chapped and painfully red. He really should stop biting his lips… but then again did it matter at this point anymore? It wasn't going to make him die any sooner or later.
He glared at himself angrily; he had made nothing but mistakes lately… Or maybe miscalculations was a better word. He had decided to trust Komaeda, but now he realized it had been a serious slip on his part. It was almost laughable; he couldn't really even blame Komaeda for betraying him when he had walked into the trap, oblivious to everything going on around him.
The gun was weighing heavily in his pocket. Why hadn't he checked Komaeda's pockets even once? He had had so many opportunities to check them when Komaeda was asleep or in the bathroom.
He was so dumb, a moron like no one else. Pretending like he was on top of the situation, like he was in charge when he hadn't even made the simplest precautions. He had just lulled himself into the feeling of ease, like he didn't have to do anything and he'd be safe and well. It had obviously been too good to be true.
Burning hot tears began to roll from his eyes again, and he crouched down to not see himself in the mirror. This was pathetic. He should just move on; learn the same lesson again from yet another mistake. He banged his head against the washbasin, once, and then couple more times for good measure as the tears kept rolling out. He should have taken the train instead of walking around in town. He should have left Komaeda out in the cold, should have eaten alone, should have stayed inside the hotel.
Hinata should have demanded to be left alone instead of letting Komaeda comfort him during his panic attack; had he done that he wouldn't be feeling so vulnerable right now, he wouldn't be feeling like he had had his safety taken away from him again just by having to leave Komaeda.
Sobs began to roll from his lips uncontrollably and he held his hands against his eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the tears from escaping. It didn't help at all however; it just made his eyes hurt even more than they already did from the tears, and his breathing was getting more unsteady.
He didn't want to be alone again. He missed talking with Komaeda normally. He missed eating good, delicious food with Komaeda. He missed walking around the town and seeing all sorts of shops Komaeda showed him.
He… He missed Komaeda.
As the thought finally passed through his mind, after being held back so long, he almost choked on his sobs. He had lost everything already, and there was nothing he could do about it. But the feelings get pouring over him like a waterfall, and he was struggling to keep any sort of composure.
And all of a sudden there were steps approaching the door of the bathroom. Hinata barely managed to pull himself up from the floor and dash to a close-by stall in time before someone entered the bathroom. He could hear their steps; the tears were still rolling from his eyes and he couldn't stop himself from sniffling every so often. He could hear the steps stop for a moment at the sound, and he bit down on his lower lip to contain the sounds.
Then the footsteps approached his stall, and he froze still for a moment. What if it was the police? Or someone else who had noticed he was suspicious? He could barely breathe when the other person knocked on the door.
"Hey boy, are you alright?" the voice asked however. It was a strong, yet a gentle voice, maybe of someone older. In his relief, he sighed as he nodded… And realized there was no way the other would believe it, even if he could see through the door.
"I'm, alright," Hinata said, almost choking up between the words. He could hear the other sigh loudly.
"If you say so, kiddo," the voice answered, obviously not believing him. He seemed to think of Hinata as a young kid; maybe it was better that way, he wouldn't ask as much questions. "But you know, I think I still want to give you some advice in life!" This stranger's voice was almost bellowing, and it was somewhat strengthening; like the energy was slowly creeping into Hinata as well. Almost like a father or a coach…
"W-what is it…?" Hinata asked, trying to make his voice a bit higher to maintain the image of a kid. His nose was stuffed so it was a bit difficult, but at least the tears had stopped falling from the sudden shock. There was a small pause, and for a moment Hinata was starting to wonder if there was something wrong.
"Happiness comes from health, and there are three simple rules to health…," the voice said, like he had said this speech before to someone else, making Hinata believe he really probably was a coach of some sort.
"The secret rules are to eat well, sleep well and most importantly shit well!" he said loudly, like he was completely convinced in his words. His words carried the sort of simplicity in them that Hinata hadn't felt in years, but for some reason right now it was relieving. It was obviously wrong; if it was that easy then he wouldn't be here, but… he snorted.
And then slowly he began to laugh, trying to keep quiet but nevertheless the panic was being washed away by the humor. He could hear the stranger chuckle as well; Hinata leaned against the toilet seat behind him and looked at the ceiling.
Despite everything, he was feeling a bit refreshed now. He was angry again, he was determined again, like all those feelings of loneliness had been pushed out with the tears and wiped away by the laughter. Perhaps crying it out was something he had needed in order to move on.
He could move on and leave, he could do it.
Hinata looked at the paper for a moment to make sure he had followed the instructions right. But there it was; he had turned on the right turns and there definitely weren't any other houses close he could mistake his destination for.
A huge gate stood before him; it was almost intimidating with the walls accompanying it that seemed to cover the whole street. There was an intercom by the right side of the gate, and after gathering his courage, Hinata walked to it and pressed the call button. It didn't take long for him to get an answer; however those few seconds felt long and stressful. There were just few options he could think of about who lived in a house like this, and considering why he was here he had a pretty solid hunch…
"Good day," a voice said over the intercom, and Hinata began to answer only to be interrupted right away. "Do you have some business with us?" The woman sounded stern, and Hinata quickly recalled what Komaeda had told him to say.
"I'm, I'm here on behalf of Komaeda Nagito, he should have arranged a meeting today…," Hinata said and the voice over the intercom just hummed seemingly agreeing with what he said, and cutting off the connection. The gate opened slowly right after, and Hinata walked into the courtyard. The house seemed to be quite a distance away, and he could see a figure standing by the door to the building.
As Hinata got closer, he saw that the person waiting for him was a young woman wearing glasses, her gray hair tied in two braids and a sword bag on her back. She was probably the person he had talked to on the phone; somehow he just had a feeling she was.
When Hinata got to her, she bowed politely as a greeting and Hinata quickly returned the gesture.
"I need you to hand over your weapons," she said when Hinata straightened his back. "We'll return your belongings when you leave." Hinata nodded and quickly took the gun and the knife out of his pockets. She took them carefully, holding a handkerchief on her hand like she didn't want to touch them directly…
"Young master is currently busy with another matter, but he'll get to you as soon as possible. In the meantime, we've prepared a room for you to wait in, and one of our underlings will be there to provide you company." Her words came out smoothly like it was routine for her, and Hinata nodded as she began to guide him into the house. Some people in suits here and there passed by them, but no one talked any more than a nod; it seemed almost like they were intimidated by his companion. She didn't pay it any mind however, and instead kept walking through multiple sliding doors. Hinata was pretty sure he wouldn't find his way out on his own anymore.
Eventually they reached a room where she stopped and turned to face him and Hinata jumped slightly in surprise. She didn't seem to be fazed, instead she just pointed towards the table in the room.
"Tea will be brought to you in a minute," she said as Hinata entered the room and seated himself by the table. "Do you have what we asked you to bring?" Hinata nodded and dug the piece of paper out of his pocket. As soon as he gave it to her, she just took it with a nod and walked away. Hinata stared at the table for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. She seemed to be quite high-ranking here, so it felt a bit odd that she had been the one to come greet him.
But this mansion and the people… It was pretty certain that Komaeda had sent him to some yakuza family. Hinata bit down on his lip again, nibbling on the dry pieces of skin to somehow relieve the stress. He had been too engrossed in the idea of being able to change his name that he hadn't even thought about the possibility of this being a trap. If Komaeda had tricked him again…
The door slid open suddenly, startling Hinata. On the doorway stood a very shaggy-looking man, and his long brown hair was spiky and pointing in every possible direction. Unlike the others that had been wearing normal suits, he had rolled his pants up to his knees and on top of his suit he was wearing a haori. He couldn't have looked any less unprofessional in comparison to the other people here.
"Hey, what's up?" he said leisurely as he placed the tray down on the table and dropped down to sit on the other side of the table. "Name's Hagakure, I guess. You're here to get new papers, right? It must be handy having friends rolling in dosh...," he began to babble and Hinata gave him a glare.
"I don't think that's any of your business…," he said slowly and the other just grinned sheepishly.
"Ah yeah, sorry buddy. I was just trying to make a conversation but I get it, a touchy subject right?" Hagakure said and yawned. "I just heard some people talking about it so it was the first topic that came to mind. Well, what else is there going on? Seen any good movies?"
Hinata glared at the teacup on the table. This kind of chitchat felt really meaningless, but then again there wasn't much else to do while waiting.
"… I saw three bad ones the other day," Hinata said curtly and the other laughed.
"That's some real bad luck!" Hagakure exclaimed and Hinata had to stop himself from groaning at the choice of words. Luck… In the end he hadn't really figured out anything about how Komaeda's luck really worked. He briefly wondered if Komaeda considered him leaving good or bad luck. Probably bad, since he had taken the money and the gun with him and left Komaeda with nothing but his car and sickness.
But doesn't that mean there should have been good luck before that…? The thought passed Hinata's mind and he pursed his lips; he couldn't recall anything that could be considered good luck for Komaeda, enough to have such bad luck hit him back…
He reckoned he had just understood it wrong and decided to drop that line of thought. It was just a waste of his energy to try and make sense of it. He took a sip of the tea that Hagakure had brought.
"You don't talk much do you…?" Hagakure said after they had been silent for a while. Hinata shrugged, and the other let out an exasperated sigh. "Why is everyone who comes here like this…? Is the name-changing business so serious? I don't think I would have been so serious if I had changed my name…"
"Have you ever even had a reason to change your name?" Hinata asked and Hagakure nodded as he crossed his arms.
"Well, I did have… some money problem of sorts, so I was trying to get out of that," he explained and laughed. "Though, instead I ended up working here." Hinata nodded; with how the other looked, he wasn't really surprised to learn that Hagakure was in debt… Probably even huge one, if he had considered changing his name. He didn't seem too serious about it though, which made Hinata believe he either was too dumb to really realize it or he just didn't care too much.
Or maybe even both.
"Actually, now that we're talking about that! You have money right? Want to get a fortune telling from me?" Hagakure asked, apparently hit by sudden excitement. Hinata squinted at him. "Come on, I'm an actual bona fide fortune teller, and my fees are expensive to match the quality! Come on dude, don't you want to know how your life will turn out with this new name and all?"
"If your fees are so expensive, then how come you ended up in debt?" Hinata asked in suspicion, and the other just scratched his hair as he laughed awkwardly.
"You see, I'm a collector of all sorts of mystical artifacts. It's part of the job, right? I even had this really expensive crystal ball I used to tell fortunes," Hagakure explained and Hinata decided not to ask about what had happened to the crystal ball; he could pretty much guess. He was pretty convinced the other was just a fraud, so there wasn't any reason to go along with him…
But then again, he had money and there seemed to be still empty time in their hands. As inspiration struck him, he took the marbles out of his pocket.
"Can you use these instead of the crystal ball?"
"If they're made of crystal then of course!" Hagakure said as he took the two marbles from him. Hinata just smiled and nodded; the other probably wouldn't notice any difference. And he was correct; Hagakure just asked him for payment, and after that was done he just began to examine the two marbles on his hand, with a focused look on his face. Hinata took another sip of his tea, wondering how the other had been doing his divinations without his crystal ball.
"Woah dude, this is a bit…," Hagakure said eventually as he set the marbles down on the table. Hinata took them back; the marbles felt oddly warm but he didn't pay attention to it and put them back into his pocket. "Okay, so someone you care about is going to die, because you couldn't save them, I'm sure of it. And it's like, you were too stubborn to do something that would have saved them, right?" Hinata turned to look back at Hagakure instantly as he began to protest.
"But I don't even have anyone like that," he said, but he could feel his hands shaking a little bit.
"Look dude, I'm hundred percent correct like, 30% of the time you know. I'm sure of what I saw," Hagakure insisted as he crossed his arms and tilted his head. "I used to be world famous for this before I got into trouble, and I'm certain of what I saw."
"No, I'm sure you're not correct. The marbles aren't even—" Hinata's protest was cut short when the door slid open, and Hagakure jumped up from the floor.
"Uh, hey there Kuzuryuu— I mean, young master," Hagakure said stiffly, like he was trying to be polite. By the door stood a short guy with the lady from before, and for a moment Hinata wondered if the lady was actually the young master, since the guy didn't look any older than a middle schooler…
But like he had heard his thoughts, the short guy shot a glare at Hinata, sending shivers down his spine. As Hagakure left the room – waving to Hinata the whole time as he closed the door, the short guy seated himself on the other side of the table.
"So where's that one bastard? I thought he was going to come with you," the guy asked without even bothering to introduce himself; but Hagakure had called him Kuzuryuu. But knowing Hagakure… Hinata made a decision to just avoid calling the other by his name.
"Uh, he's… sick," Hinata explained stiffly. He didn't really want to go into details of their situation, but he didn't feel like he had much choice if the other asked.
"Huh? Sick? How did he manage to get sick with that rotten luck he keeps boasting about…," Kuzuryuu said before grinning. "Well, not like it matters, makes things simpler when he's not here being a bother," he continued, looking weirdly smug like he was trying to convince him. But he wasn't probably lying, the real Komaeda must have been annoying to deal with…
"He told me everything had been taken care of already," Hinata said. He wasn't entirely sure when Komaeda had managed to pay for this, but then again he hadn't paid that much attention to what Komaeda had been doing most of the time. So, another proof of his own mistakes.
"In that case he didn't lie to you," Kuzuryuu said as he shrugged. "It's not much to do, really. We have a… expert on these matters working for us. They know everything there is about changing identities, though I suppose they're better at stealing them than making completely new ones."
"I-I see. But is there really, uh, nothing else I have to do? Just provide the name I want?" Hinata asked, shifting in his place. He was feeling uncomfortable, the lady standing by the door kept staring at him like she were constantly reading him. It was probably for some sort of safety reasons – she might be his bodyguard and that's why she kept close watch on him – but it was making him nervous.
Though, there shouldn't be anything for him to worry about. He was pretty sure a yakuza family wouldn't call cops to take him, even if they had figured out who he was.
"You got to learn your new backstory of course, we have the files coming here soon so you can read and learn it… Oh, and you can't take it with you so better read carefully. Normally, we wouldn't even let you decide the name since it's a hassle, but that guy insisted on it so…," Kuzuryuu explained, and Hinata dropped his eyes to the tea cup in front of him. He… would have preferred not to hear that. It was likely that there had been another reason for it, or some sort of scheme to it, but there was a possibility Komaeda had insisted on it for his sake.
He tried to push off the thoughts from his head; it was irrelevant why Komaeda had insisted on it.
"How… How do you know him?" Hinata asked before he could stop himself.
"Through work, of course! Why else would I associate with a creep like him?" Kuzuryuu said and Hinata noticed that the lady smiled for a brief second, like she wanted to laugh, before her face returned to normal. Hinata frowned a bit. From what he had understood, Komaeda was working a normal office job, but… Though, he didn't really know much about what his job included.
"What… what kind of person is he? I… I haven't really known him for that long, and… it's really hard to make sense of him. He seems occasionally completely different," Hinata asked, the words slipping from his lips like he had opened a dam holding them back.
"H-huh? You're asking me?" The surprise in his voice was pretty obvious, and Hinata nodded. He knew he was just chasing himself down the rabbit hole by asking, but no matter what it felt like… it felt like he needed to know the truth. "Well, uh… I'd just say he's a weirdo. He seems to be obsessed with either his luck or hope, I can't even really tell, but that's pretty much what controls his life. And I don't think he really realizes that and the fact how much it affects the people around him… Or something, I don't know," Kuzuryuu explained, obviously feeling very awkward.
"I-I see…," Hinata answered, feeling just as awkward. He probably shouldn't have asked something like that from an acquaintance of Komaeda. Maybe it'd be better to ask from someone else, someone who might know him better… He remembered the phone in his pocket. "T-thanks, sorry for asking a weird question…"
"Well it's not a surprising question about that guy, he's hard to figure out," Kuzuryuu said, scratching the back of his head. A weird silence fell between them after that, and the knock on the door was a welcome surprise for both of them. The lady opened the door and took the files from the person there. Hinata couldn't see them well before they were already gone, and he turned his eyes to Kuzuryuu who had stood up.
"Looks like the files are here. I'll leave you to go through them. When you want to leave, just tell Pekoyama and she'll escort you out," he said as he walked to the door, and the lady nodded at his words. "Enjoy your new identity. And about Komaeda, I'd say it's best to not think too much. He's impossible to understand, but I don't think he's a bad person either. I think I'd know if he was."
He didn't really give time for Hinata to say goodbye to him before the door slid close. Pekoyama walked over to him and handed over the files.
"Here you go," she said as she seated herself by the table. "It's a lot to go through, but as long as you learn the basics it should be alright. People don't usually dig that deep into these things," she said, in a surprisingly kind tone compared to the strict one before. Hinata didn't know what had triggered the change in attitude, but it was a lot more relaxing than the suspicious staring.
Hinata nodded and began to read through the files quietly. There was a lot more details than he had expected, but he tried to keep himself focused on reading instead of getting stuck on the little stuff.
"About Komaeda… I think young master was trying to say that even if he seems weird, Komaeda tries his best to help others. He just doesn't always know how to…," Pekoyama said suddenly, startling Hinata. He hadn't thought that Pekoyama knew Komaeda as well, and well enough to offer an opinion…
But if they were just acquaintances from work as Komaeda had said, and hadn't known each other at all, then why would Kuzuryuu have accepted the demand that Hinata got to choose his own name? So maybe there was something he could learn from what Kuzuryuu had told him.
He glared at the papers as he felt his heart ache. He didn't want to think about this, not anymore. It would be so much easier to think that Komaeda had just deceived him all along, played him like the fool he had been and that it was a better option to just leave and go… Just like Komaeda had told him to. Unless… if that had been for Hinata's sake, then he… he would…
He bit on his lower lip again.
"Um, I know this is a weird question but… what do you think Komaeda thinks about himself?" Hinata asked quietly, and Pekoyama crossed her arms as she seemed to ponder his question.
"From what I've gathered, he doesn't think too highly of himself and seems to think of himself more as a burden with his luck," she said slowly, like she wasn't entirely sure if what she was saying was right. Hinata just nodded meekly as he stared at the papers in his hands.
If… if there was a chance that Komaeda had been doing this all for him instead of betraying him, then what… what was he going to do?
Hinata stared at the train ticket in his hand. It was for the train that Komaeda had said would be the best for him to leave. It'd arrive at the station in half an hour, and would leave soon after that. He dug out the phone from his pocket to check if he had gotten an answer yet, but was met with nothing.
He sighed in relief; he had decided to leave the gun with Pekoyama when she offered it back, and it was a lot easier to breathe without it. He didn't have to constantly worry about the people looking at him. Instead he was carrying a perfectly valid identification in case anyone even suspected him.
A lot of the weight from earlier today had left his shoulders, and he felt so much better walking through the station now. He had eaten on the way here as well, and everything felt perfectly okay now. There was nothing making him feel uncomfortable when he walked by people and he didn't feel the anxiety with nearly as much the intensity as he had earlier. In fact, he felt at peace.
It wasn't long till the train was going to leave, and despite the fact that hopping onto it would mean he was going to leave everything behind, he was surprised by how calm he felt. The important decision was just waiting to be made, but it was alright. He was alright no matter what happened.
He took a sip from the water bottle he had bought as he arrived to the correct platform. There was barely anyone there, since he was quite a bit early for the train. He walked to the nearest bench and sat down, leaning against the back of it and sighing. It felt almost absurd to be this calm, to not have all his nerves strung so high by the stress and fear. He glanced at the bag he had next to him; he had bought food for the trip, all sorts of snacks and drinks he had yet to taste.
He was just thinking about eating something when the phone beeped. Slowly he took out the phone from his pocket and opened the mail.
'You hurt me a lot, and usually you didn't even notice it. Even if you did, you usually wouldn't understand what you even did wrong, which just usually made it worse. You would apologize without even understanding what you'd done wrong.' Hinata read the message couple of times. He felt bad for still lying to Komaeda's ex, when it'd have been better to leave her alone already. But she was the only one he knew from Komaeda's life back at Kyoto. The message didn't really tell him anything new; it was mostly the same things he had noticed as well, and what Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama had told him.
He was about to close the phone and put it back into his pocket, when it beeped again.
'I know you didn't mean to hurt me and probably thought it was best for me. I'd advise you to be more conscious of your own behavior or at least pay attention to how it affects other people… If you just can. I know you found someone new, and I hope they can be more understanding with you than I could be.'
Hinata put the phone back into his pocket and sighed.
Thank you so much for reading all the way here! I'm so so so sorry for the chapter being this late, I got sick and my computer has been falling apart on my hands so I struggled a lot with those but, it doesn't change the fact that I could have just written this chapter beforehand instead of leaving the finishing till the last week... Nevertheless, thank you so much for your patience! As long as nothing bad happens, the chapters from now on will continue being on time and this one will stay as the only exception.
But, about this chapter! It's about twice as long as the previous longest one so I hope that will compensate for it being late a bit. There was a lot of guest appearances this time (I'm not sure if I've said this before, but I do plan on having everyone from the two main games referenced in this one), and with that I wanted to say that if there's any of the characters that you want to know more of, like what are they doing etc, I'd love to answer your questions! Despite the fact that some of them are only briefly mentioned, I've put a lot of thought into what are they doing in this AU... But, of course only for the characters that have appeared, wouldn't want to spoil anyone!
Anyways, before I get all rambly, I want to thank you all again for reading and being there, and the next one will be up on the 20th of February! I hope to see you there!
