KAM000: Hello all, I apologize for the wait. I had to deal with life- school, homework(can you believe it?! I actually have all A's and a B+), family life, social life, and of course I have to be loyal to all my other fandoms. Like Hetalia, Blue Exorcist, Gravity Falls, Wakfu, Night Vale...that kinda stuff. But here it is, chapter 28! Would you do the honours of reciting the disclaimer, Heijji?

Heijji:...

KAM000: Oh, I forgot. I used my magical-ness to make you mute! Lucky me! Conan, could you do it?

(Conan rolls his eyes)Conan: KAM000 does not own Detective Conan.

KAM000: *Squeal* OHMYGOD that was so adorable!

Conan: What? Did I say something?

KAM000: Hai, Conan. You said something! Everything you say is so freaking cute!

(Conan glares)Conan: I hate you.

KAM000: And it's so cute when you're angry, too! I just wanna hug you and squeeze you and fangirl so freaking hard!

Chapter 28 IN THE HOUSE: Prank Wars (Part 1)

Okay, so I admit I wasn't being very productive with my time. I might have started one or more fics, listened to a lot of music, listened to more Night Vale than I should have, and did a LOT of eating and sleeping and more eating.

"Yes, if I don't finish this device in four months," I told myself, "the world will begin to collapse. But I have to take breaks from saving the world, you know! Heroes get vacations!"

(Actually, I don't think they do. But please, don't ruin this for me)

Although listening to me talk on and on about what I ate and what I watched and how the food tasted and when I ate lunch and what happened in Night Vale, I think I should tell you what happened in A-shu's house. Just for the sake of comedy, yeah?

"Sorry, Gin," A-shu shouted in a fakely apologetic voice. "I'm really sorry about writing about you as a***********". (censored because I don't know what A-shu's planning for his next chapter in "Gin's Jobs". You should totally read it, though.) "Please don't kill me."

Gin glared. "Why shouldn't I?"

"I made you a sundae!"
Gin looked curiously at the glass bowl holding what looked like three scoops of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and cherries, all atop two banana halves. He snatched it from A-shu's clutches and began eating it. I was never told whether or not he used silverware.

He took one bite, and found out the dark secret behind the sundae. It wasn't ice cream but in fact mashed potatoes. Personally, I would have loved that since I'm a mashed potato connoisseur (did I spell that right?) but he obviously was not happy.

A-shu saw this reflected on Gin's soured face. "YOU LITTLE TWERP!"

A-shu grinned nervously. "You just got pranked!" Gin started pursuing the prankster. A-shu bolted down the hall shouting, "You'll never keep me alive, sucker!"

This is when A-shu hides in his closet and video-chats with me. Immediately after this video-chat he vowed to kill Aver the next time they were placed in the same room. Of course, he said this aloud...a bit too loud...and Gin found him.

"PLEASE! GIN! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I'LL LET YOU CHILL HERE IF YOU LET ME LIVE!"

Gin reluctantly took up on this offer. He had no idea how bad a decision this would be.

(Author's Note: Please feel free to use these pranks on your friends, family, and enemies.)

Day One

He woke up in the guest bedroom. He tiredly got to his feet and shuffled over to the door. A loud banging sound, party streamers, and three airhorns playing very very loudly. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"
"Oh, sorry, Gin. You just fell victim to my PDM."

"PDM?"
"Prank Defense Mechanism. Be more careful walking around so carelessly like that next time. This house is littered with 'em."

Gin was starting to regret the decision to stay with A-shu.

Day Two

Gin was on the large couch, watching TV. Well, trying to. The stupid TV doesn't want to turn on. Of course, if he wasn't too lazy to get off the couch he would have learned that there was a piece of clear tape placed over the sensor on the Blu Ray. So he eventually gave up watching TV.

Still too lazy, he remained on the couch like a beached whale for a few hours. It didn't take long for him to drift off to sleep.

Also a big mistake. I don't think he ever noticed, but his hair was dyed neon pink. But it's not like he noticed, so no harm done I guess.

Day Three

Gin was trying to take a shower. Surprisingly still hadn't figured out that his hair was pink. The bar of soap wouldn't lather. Nothing happened at all. It seemed ineffective, and Gin angrily tossed the soap bar at the wall, and it kinda ricocheted into his face.

Here's what A-shu did: he placed clear nail polish all over the soap bar. I honestly can't say how A-shu bathed when the only soap bar was unusable or if he even bathed.

After putting on his clothes(how does he NOT notice his hair is pink?! He's a freaking assassin!), Gin went down to the kitchen to get something to eat.

To his utter despise, A-shu was there as well. Eating a caramel apple. "Here, take one," A-shu gestured to the white box of caramel apples before him.

He uneasily grabbed one and took a huge bite into it. Spoiler alert: Gin likes caramel a lot. At least in this fanfiction. If he doesn't, screw whoever came up with that idea. I say he likes caramel, and I'm gonna make it cannon.

Unfortunately for him, A-shu is an expert prankster. Rumor has it that he even teaches pranking classes in the alley-way behind Taco Bell on Wednesday nights.

It was no apple. AN ONION! Bye the way, I have a personal hatred for onions. Unless my dad makes them. He makes good onions.

Anyways, I think for Gin this was the last straw. He gave up trying to live with A-shu and decided to leave. "I'll find a hotel or something," he shouted as he slammed the front door behind him.

Day Four

Guess who didn't get into any hotels? Yeah. Apparently, Japanese money doesn't work in AMERICAN HOTELS.

So he hesitantly worked his way back to A-shu's house.

There was a tree right beside A-shu's house. As Gin walked past this tree, a plastic bag fell on his head. How could an assassin walk into a tripwire?!

The plastic bag was open. And it was full of old- very very VERY old- blue cheese. And it got tangled in the hair that Gin still didn't know was pink, and Gin was covered in it.

Never mind, he thought, full of rage. I'll manage on my own. I am sick and tired of this stupid PDM. Maybe I'll murder him and take his house. Yeah, that's a good plan. I'll do that.

When Gin kicked the door open furiously, down came tar. Then feathers. And once Gin had been successfully tarred and feathered, someone placed a party hat on his head.

"WELCOME BACK", read the banner strapped to the wall.

A-shu approached him. "It wasn't the same without you."

Gin reached into his pocket to grab his gun. But it wasn't there.

"We got rid of your gun," chimed in another voice from behind him.

"We'll be one step ahead of you," shouted another.

"This PDM is unstoppable," exclaimed a fourth person.

"Party time," screamed the party enthusiast.

While they all ate chocolate cake that definitely was not rigged with some classic prank candles and mashed potatoes, Gin saw some posters taped to all the walls. They were Gin x Akai posters. What would that ship-name be? Gikai? Akin? That didn't end it.

Suddenly, GAAADASGM burst through the door. FYI GAADASGM stands for "Gin And Akai Are Dating And Should Get Married", and said person is the sister of A-shu and Aver. This person I will also be calling GinShuu as she requested.

"PAINT-BALL WARS," she shouted excitedly.

Everyone retried their paintball guns and aimed at each other. One person was kind enough to give Gin his own paintball gun. But it wasn't loaded. And the trigger was jammed. So he was stuck without a weapon. With everyone's guns pointed at him. "Three two one FIRE!"

They all shot at him simultaneously, giving him lots and lots of pain. Lesson of the day: there's a reason why the word "pain" is in paint-ball. Especially when a bunch of young adults shoot at you repeatedly.

Day Five

Dog poo. Dog poo everywhere. Specifically on Gin himself.

Gin was covered in tar, feathers, a party hat, paint splatters, and was constantly followed by a chicken-obsessed dog named Fuzz.

They flung dog poo at Gin as he walked out into the backyard, hoping the rain would wash away everything on him. He would use the shower, but he had a bad feeling that it was rigged.

This was all that Gin could take. He was through with A-shu's annoying pranks. He had enough. He's an assassin for crying out loud.

"Just wait and see," he screamed venomously. "I WILL have my revenge!"

To Be Continued