"Don't apologize, idiot, it'll wash out," Lovino said with an empty roll of his eyes.
Feliciano giggled, swiping at his nose. "It's just so gross!" he giggle-cried.
"We're men, Feliciano. I'll clean it with mud and dry it with the blood of my enemies. Don't worry about it."
The boy nodded, sobering a smudge as he sniffled and recollected himself. "You're right."
"Always."
"Oh, shush." Lovino just offered a tick of a smile, leaning back on his hands. Feliciano didn't offer one back. "Do you really think that?"
"Think what?"
"That I don't think for myself."
Lovino blinked, furrowing his brows. "What?"
Feliciano shook his head. "Nothing. Just—Well when—You hurt my feelings earlier."
Lovino sighed. Leave it to Feliciano to get butt hurt when the conversation wasn't even pointed at him. "No, obviously not. I was just mad."
Feliciano nodded. "You're mad a lot, you know?"
Yeah, he knew. Fuck. "I'm—I'm working on it." Never had he heard something so pathetic. He could travel every inch of the string and still hold the award for worst excuse of the year. Because that's what it was, wasn't it? An excuse. He couldn't control his anger, so he just told himself that he was working on it. And now he was telling someone else, too. Someone who had finally broken through and given him a piece of honesty (in English) and here he was lying to him.
But he couldn't bring himself to tell the truth.
What if Feliciano saw what he truly was? A monster in some mirror who told point-blank lies in moments of vulnerability.
He shook his head. Fuck, he really needed to stop sounding like some angsty teen on Myspace.
"I'm proud of you!" Feliciano cooed. Lovino's heart fell.
You shouldn't be.
Lovino cleared his throat and stood up, dusting off his pants. His body was sore from the beat down, but he would survive. "Hey, so when's the last time you checked on the lizard-thing?"
"A long time. Ludwig said to stop going because it might start depending on me and never venture out to find it's family."
Fucking Ludwig. "Well fuck him, what does he know?" Lovino asked, offering his hand.
Feliciano took it with a light chuckle. "It's good advice."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, if it is still there it's likely already dependent on you. And you would be so mean if you just abandoned it after bonding with it. You know, if it sticks around long enough, we might even take it back with us when we leave."
Feliciano practically bounded to his feet. "What! Really? Are you being serious, Lovino? You know, this is a promise you can't go back on. I won't let you!"
Lovino laughed. "We'll get a box and some towels from the showering ward and smuggle it back with us." He made a hook with his finger, closing one eye with a sneer. "Time pirates."
Feliciano glowed with a smile and a laugh. He quickly tore forward, leaving Lovino to follow.
Lovino let the character and smile drop with a sigh. Shoving his hands in his pockets he started after the boy slowly. At least Feliciano was distracted.
After a while Feliciano had fallen back and took to walking next to Lovino. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" Lovino asked. He didn't recognize anything.
"I thought we'd take another route."
"Have you ever gone this route before?"
A pause. "Do you want the truth or a lie?"
"Bastard," Lovino groaned, hanging his head.
Feliciano giggled. "Don't worry, we won't get too lost. And if we do I'm sure Ludwig and Gilbert will track us down."
"Hooray."
"And how do you ever discover anything new if you don't get lost first?"
Lovino pushed away the finger Feliciano had shoved in his face. "Whatever, Tumblr."
Feliciano brushed off the comment, turning to walk backwards. Lovino kept an eye over his shoulder, worried the kid was going to get impaled by a low hanging branch before long. "Hey, Lovi, so I was thinking—"
"Did it hurt?"
"What?"
"Nothing, nevermind, what was it you were saying? And turn the fuck around before you die."
Feliciano scrunched up his face in a melodramatic pout before continuing. "What are we going to do when we get back? It's just that so much has changed. Do you plan on going back to the truck?"
Lovino hummed. "I dunno. I've never really considered it. I don't even know if they'll let me leave."
"Arthur said that once you got control over your powers you would have the option to."
Lovino almost laughed. "Yeah, well, that's not going great."
"Arthur says you're doing really well!"
"Remind me to thank him for lying in my favor."
Feliciano pushed him lightly. "Oh, shut it. I saw you earlier! How did you even do that, Lovi? One second you're in the dirt, the next you have a sword!" Lovino blinked. That was right, Feliciano had never seen him use his powers before, had he? Well, aside from—achem, doors not to be opened; fuck a duck and run.
"Yeah, well if you missed it my exercise was to not have a sword. So, I failed."
Feliciano shrugged. "Yeah, but you were able to control yourself enough to not use it."
Lovino shook his head. And to think someone gave this kid a fake police badge and real files. "Almost never got anyone anywhere, Fell, now turn around."
Feliciano turned with a slight huff, walking enough in front of Lovino that the older of the two had to strain to hear him. "You should still plan for something. Just in case you get something right." Ouch. But Feliciano was turning back around again before Lovino had time to say anything. "Hey, can you show me that thing again? The sword."
"I—No, it only comes when I'm really angry. Don't look at me like that, Feliciano."
"Like what?"
"Like you plan to get me mad. It's not going to work. I will turn around and go back to base without you."
"Fine," Feliciano drew, puffing up his cheeks. Suddenly, the air came out in a yell as he tumbled backwards. Lovino's heart palpitated and he quickly reached forward, grasping the kid's wrist before he tumbled off the cliff they found themselves at. Lovino pulled him back to safety.
"Idiot!" Lovino practically yelled, putting a hand to his forehead.
Feliciano laughed. "Oh, wow, okay," he stammered, making his way back to the edge to stare over the side. "Wow, Lovi, that's pretty steep."
"Walk forwards."
"I wonder what all is done there. It looks like we could just walk across the tree tops, doesn't it, Lovi? I wonder if we could."
Lovino sighed, coming over to look. "Yeah, go ahead if you want to fall and break something." But, the kid was right. An almost glass surface of treetops stretched out in front of them, taller trees sticking out, making it almost look like a regular walkway.
"Wanna climb down? See what's down there?"
"Probably exactly what's up here."
"Where's your sense of adventure?"
"Left it in the truck, sorry—What are you doing?"
"Come if you want. If not, I'll see you at lunch!"
Lovino groaned.
The dirt crumbled away under Lovino's nails, the loose grass and vines a dangerous way to make it down. Lovino grunted as he hit the ground. Feliciano was swiping at the dirt on his clothes. "Isn't it weird that they call every meal lunch? Just woke up? Go get some lunch! Done training? Lunch time! It's so weird. No breakfast, dinner, whatever-old-people-call-dinner."
"Supper?"
"Yeah, that one. Why can't we have supper here, Lovi?"
Lovino chuckled. "You look so offended that no one has offered you supper."
"I'm just saying."
Lovino took to the scenery, away from the silly companion he had somehow been stuck with. The strange hue of the world here, under the glass green overcast, was royal, emerald. Lovino blinked, taking in purple crystals that grew along the bases of the trees. Long icicle like crystals added to the color their own orange light. As they walked forward, Lovino caught the sight of a small, caterpillar-like creature curling around an orange stake until it was so strung out that its dark body disappeared and became orange itself.
"I wish I brought my sketch book here," Feliciano said lowly. "There's so much I'm sure not to remember when we get back." He timidly reached up to touch a crystal, but stopped less than an inch away, satisfied to admire.
Lovino crouched down to admire the purple stones. Squinting he saw a similar bug stretch itself blue. He blinked. Weird. "Let's keep going," Lovino said, standing.
The two walked on until the sound of trickling water deterred them from their path. "Sounds like a stream, Lovi!" Feliciano said, quick to follow it. It wasn't long until they found it. A chattering squirrel took flight as they broke into the clearing.
"Looks like it's flowing the wrong way," Lovino observed, pointing. "We just came down from a cliff that way, and it's flowing that way."
"It's cold!"
"Don't put your hands in it!" Feliciano just laughed. Lovino grumbled. "Idiot—Hey! Don't splash me!"
"Are you getting angry? Gonna walk back to base without me."
"And the moment I get there I'm going to find a new friend."
"Oh, finally. I've been wondering when you'd stop following me around." Feliciano giggled, standing up with a coy grin. "We've made it to the Northern Lights by now, yeah?"
Lovino gave him a blank glare. "You just reference Brother Bear, didn't you."
"So you were watching!"
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, only the first twenty times you made me sit through it."
"What about the second twenty times?"
"Zoned out."
"Shut up! It's a classic!"
"Whatever, Kenai."
Feliciano chuckled. "A bit truer now, huh? Have you found anything out about this whole Golden Mean thing?"
"Not a fucking thing."
"I guess we're supposed to figure it out on our own then." The younger of the two decided with a determined nod of his head. "Don't worry, our resources are flawless. It's Hercules meets Brother Bear!"
"Hercules meets Brother Bear?" Lovino echoed dubiously.
"Obviously! Well, I mean, it's different, of course; you're not fighting to become a real god or anything and I'm not actually a bear—" he giggled at some joke he failed to share—"but I think the messages are there!"
Lovino quirked a brow, ignoring the twisted feeling in his gut. "Oh yeah? So, you should run off to the wilderness and I should sell out?"
"Sell out?"
"You know, how Hercules sold out. With the merchandise and the posing for pictures and the public appearances. He was a glorified sportsman. Unless, of course, you're talking about the classic story in which he murdered the fuck out of his wife and children."
"Lovino?"
"Hmm?"
"Why must you ruin everything that is pure and good?"
"It's my nature, lover boy."
The two of them had been able to find their way around the cliff. Finally, they were finding something of familiar territory.
"What do you mean?" Feliciano asked, his breaths shallow as they practically clawed their way up the third or fifth hill.
"You asked what I wanted to do when I get out of here. You never said what you wanted to do."
"Oh." Something told Lovino that their truth-talk had passed—mostly the fact that Feliciano had turned to talking about Disney movies for the past half hour—but, still, the longer they walked the more Lovino's head reeled. This distraction was great. It took away his anxieties of the current situation they found themselves in and replaced it with something almost serene. They were sitting in Feliciano's car on the way to something the kid had found on Google Maps. Lovino was making crude jokes about customers in the back, Feliciano was defending them with nice comments. They were talking about their future, leaning against someone's car because once they jumped in they wouldn't see each other until whenever fucking Feliciano decided another adventure needed to ensue.
And as always, Feliciano had a better idea than Lovino.
"I—Well—I want to do something with the knowledge I have," he shared as Lovino helped him to the top.
"Like Gilbert something with the information, or like draw something?"
"I would like to draw!" He almost sounded defensive. "But, no. I—I think—" he giggled, an embarrassed hand finding the back of his head. "Oh, I don't know, I was thinking of maybe going to Med school."
Lovino blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. "Med school? I—No offence, but I don't really see you the studious type."
"Second chances exist, Lovino. I got one. And—well, there may be consequences, but—I don't know."
Lovino sighed. "You want to use your second chance to give someone else one?"
"It sounds silly, I know. But—" he shrugged, "there's no grand scheme. Freak accidents are actually accidental. Well, at least they kinda are. And—Well—I don't know. It's just something I've been thinking about." He looked at Lovino almost worried, as if Lovino would disprove of his plan. Lovino just offered him a small smile because he wasn't sure what to say.
Feliciano, a doctor? He almost took up religion right then to pray for the poor souls on his operating table.
Honest eyes, though, bore into him. He chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds great."
The kid didn't grin or light up like he expected him to. His embarrassed, questioning smile just went soft. Before it bounded ahead. "And don't worry!" he called behind his shoulder with a light laugh. "You can help me with all my homework!"
"What? I didn't agree to that! I'm not becoming a god damn doctor!"
Lovino crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes finding the corner of the room rather than the one he addressed. He liked to believe that it was out of anger, not shame, but it didn't matter. No one asked. "I'm sorry, okay?" he finally spat, cutting off his dance of words that had come to it. "Just—I want to learn how to control my powers, and if you can help me," he let off a deep sigh and finally looked at the tall blond. Pursed lips and humorless eyes. Another sigh. "I need your help and I won't let it happen again."
He stood in the common area. He and Feliciano had returned a bit later, and the boy had gone up to bed. Lovino would have followed suit, but he was positive his head wasn't going to let him sleep for the next decade. He was silently positive that he knew Feliciano's wouldn't let him, either, but he wasn't going to say anything right away. Fuck, he really wasn't good at this. He almost wanted to tell Feliciano to go to someone else—Arthur or Ludwig or a therapist—but he couldn't muster a single word on the subject once it seemed to pass. He felt like an idiot for letting it pass, damn it. Fuck. Ugh.
Ludwig stared up at him with a frown. Gilbert was nowhere to be seen. Finally, he let out a long breath, moving slightly in his chair, light shuffles breaking into the murmurs of the area. "Fine. I'll accept your apology."
Lovino nodded. Should he thank him or walk away? Thanking him didn't exactly sit right, but also the thought of not thanking him seemed rude. Fuck, where did that come from? He should just walk away for sure.
Ludwig stood up, stretching one of his arms. "We start now."
Lovino blinked. "What?"
"We will start with conditioning. Your stance is a mess, but so is absolutely everything else. Your punches are weak, your balance is the worst thing I've ever seen, and your stamina is horrendous."
Be nice be nice be nice be nice.
"We'll start with a running warm-up and move to a strength workout. We'll break for lunch followed by an intensive balance and core strength workout. You have fifteen to hydrate and get anything to eat—but do eat light. Meet me at the Sparring Pits."
And just like that he was walking away. Lovino hung his head when he disappeared. "What the fuck have I gotten myself into?"
Hell. He had gotten himself into hell. How could an arm workout cause the muscles in his face to twitch! And who the fuck decided that running should be a thing that people did outside of life-or-death situations? He was sweaty and miserable, and wanted nothing more that to lie in the dirt and never get up. Still, he pushed on with his teeth attached to his tongue, because he wasn't going to fucking whine or say he couldn't do something. He was going to get stronger, and he was going to learn how to control his god damn fucking powers.
Not only that but working out was the distraction of the centuries.
The two had eaten lunch without Gilbert and Feliciano. "Where are they?" Lovino asked, ignoring how his limbs shook as he grabbed his tray.
"I don't know," Ludwig answered robotically. The two sat down.
Lovino found that he wasn't hungry. It was strange; one would think that right after a workout they would be starving. Able to inhale the whole lunch line. But, no. He sat here, pushing around the food on his plate with a sigh.
"Good work today," Ludwig said. Lovino looked up. The tall blond seemed to be forcing himself to eat as well, slow and small portions. Lovino had seen him eat a plate and a half of potato-based foods, so he had to wonder whether the hunger would come on later. "I expected a lot more backlash."
Lovino offered a quaint nod. He wasn't really in the mood to talk. Head too hazy, body to jittery. "Yeah, well I told you, I won't let that happen again."
They finished and disregarded their plates. Ludwig stopped at the exit to the base, playing with his watch.
"Are we going somewhere?" Lovino asked, a bit timid. He really wasn't looking forward to another battle with a Neverborn. Who even was next?
"Yes. If you feel you're going to pass out, tell me. If not, just follow orders."
In a blink, the two of them were standing in what Lovino could only describe as the inside of a volcano. Hot orange and black magma rolled over itself, bubbling and slow. Lovino swallowed. The heat spell caused his shaking muscles to only intensify, the dryness drawing the skin over his body taut. He wondered if the floating embers, pukes out by peeling bubbles, would burn him or his clothing.
They stood on what looked like a floating platform above it all. The lighting from below warped everything's perception. Other platforms surrounded them, a long lip running jaggedly off the wall of their oval dome. Above them the sky was pitch black by a looming overcast.
Ludwig nodded his head to him. "Now, pay attention to me."
Lovino nodded, and their workout began.
"Good, now you can relax," Ludwig said, his breaths as winded as Lovino felt. He blinked slowly, cursing away the faint spell that threatened to control him. He flattened from the side-plank he had been forced to hold for years, panting into the black dust of fallen embers. Ludwig rose to his knees. He pulled out something from his back pocket. Gloves. He quickly pulled them on.
Lovino slowly picked himself up. He was dizzy, and shaky, but he also wasn't going to back down from the implications of this. Ludwig looked up at him, eyes silver in the lighting. "Are you ready." Lovino swallowed, nodding. He rose to his feet, filling his lungs as deeply as he could. It caused his head to spin, but he ignored it. "Get into stance."
His whole body was stretched thanks to Ludwig's glorified yoga course, so he fell a little deeper into the stance than he meant to. Ludwig quickly corrected him. Lovino followed every direction to the best of his abilities.
Clenching his teeth, Lovino managed to focus on Ludwig's figure in front of him. Ludwig nodded. "Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Block."
And Lovino was on the ground.
"Stand."
He was on the ground again. Why didn't Ludwig go slower? Lovino spit, blood pooling beneath him. The heat and the shaking—no, he would control his powers.
"Stand." A deep breath. "Do not focus on the limb you think I'm going to move. Focus on me as a whole and react without thinking about it." Wasn't Lovino's whole problem that he acted without thinking? Still, he didn't argue. He nodded. "Block."
He was, once again, fallen and coughing into the volcanic ash. Combat boots were in front of Lovino's nose. "What do you think the issue it?"
"You're going too fast," Lovino coughed, pushing himself up before falling shakily to his hands. Growling he pushed to his feet.
"Arthur told me that you are quick. I will not adjust my speed."
"I'm quick at running away," Lovino groaned. "This is different."
"You're not taking it seriously."
Not taking it seriously! "Yes, I am! I'm doing my best!"
"Then you would have been able to block by now. Get into your stance."
Lovino grit his teeth. Had this all been a mistake? Ludwig obviously didn't understand what he was doing! Lovino wasn't just going to pick this up as if he had been doing it his whole life! He wasn't out of Star Wars the Last fucking Jedi, sorry!
He was in his stance for a long time before Ludwig broke the silence. "You're holding yourself back." Lovino shook his head. What did that even mean? Just because he was bad at something didn't mean that suddenly it meant that it was because he was out to get himself. Obviously, it didn't. "Our goal here it to get you stronger and to let you control your powers. You're not going about it right. You're suppressing your powers, but by doing so you're slowing yourself down and overthinking everything."
"What else am I supposed to do?" Lovino asked, his tone almost even desperate. It was too hot, his head too dizzy. "I get angry and suddenly I have a weapon!"
"Then that's what you need to beat."
"I've already beaten anger. Khorne—I defeated him!"
Ludwig nodded. "Gilbert was saying that Arthur was taking you to fight them."
"Yeah, and I already beat one, okay? I battled anger and I won!"
"You defeating a Neverborn doesn't mean that you've worked out your own problems. If you can't fight me because you keep getting so angry that you either have to shut down or lash out, then you need to go back and reassess what it means to defeat anger."
"But how! How do I fucking beat a god damn feeling!" His stance was breaking, taking a deep breath he tried to work his way back into it.
Ludwig sighed. A flash of light and the heat peeled away. Lovino fell to the dirt of the sparring area, panting and blinking past the darkness that clouded his vision.
"Come on, let's get some water."
Lovino sighed, staring at the forever sky above him. His bed was stiff, a bit uncomfortable, but he would survive, and it was better than another lap around the sparring area. His frown hurt his face, but he couldn't lift it.
He had to go back and defeat anger again? Only this time it seemed it was a personal matter.
His hands were laced behind his head. The room had too much empty space, it felt intrusive. Closing his eyes, he willed himself to sleep. Instead, acid. Familiar and burning, floating around his heart like a shall. He was doing everything wrong! He beat Khorne, but he still hadn't won! He couldn't even block a simple move from Ludwig. He wasn't able to actually comfort his friend or even began to know how. People looked at him like he wasn't a person and it's because he was ridiculous. He lashed out at anyone that told him something he didn't want to hear and couldn't even bring himself to respect literal gods.
Rolling over to his side he stared at the wall. Because Lovino's room was in the center of the base somewhere, all his walls were, in fact, walls. Long and white and intrusive and empty. He crossed his arms.
He needed to get some sleep.
Once again, he was baffled by the passing of time—or lack thereof despite his muscles' soreness having dripped off the plain of existence. After eating he made his way outside.
He was going to do better today—or, er, now. His head swirled with things that he had to do, focus on, accomplish. A twinge in his chest was only the beginning of what he knew to be the consequence if he failed.
"Morning, Lovi!" Feliciano called.
"Pay attention," Ludwig sighed.
Gilbert grinned up at him. He was leaning back in the dirt, his feet crossed. "Mornin' sunshine. Ready to fulfill our deal?"
"He won't be able to," Arthur said. He had been sitting under the trees shade, the sun harsh today. Without effort he stood. "Today he works with me."
"Awe, c'mon, Artie."
"Don't call me that."
Lovino frowned. He had really hoped to fight Ludwig again. "Whatever. What are we doing?"
"We're going to work on summoning each of your powers separately, and on command. Knowing how to summon may teach you how to suppress better."
Lovino nodded. "Okay, that makes sense."
"And then, to put what you've learned to the test, you will fight me."
He could have laughed. "I'm going to fight you?"
Arthur smiled, green eyes catching the sun. "I'm sure you'll do great."
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Okay, so we were going to play with Arthur this chapter because my original plan was just to skip to Ludwig and go from there, but then silly me decided to offer a little more time with the protagonist and love interest since we have very little of that, and I really don't want the romance to come off as forced later, y'know? (Note the word later. They are in the transition stage between friends and more than friends.) So, we have to push back the cool stuff for next chapter. Sorrie.
Okay, Guest commenters, there's more than one of you now, so if you guys could decide on nicknames for yourselves instead of "Guest" that would help this segment!
Guest comment 08-27-18 (The one that has reviewed before)
This pairing is a fun one to rip apart, I must admit. And, like, you get three genres with this pairing: sad, smut, and 2p. I really hope my efforts here spark a new one: slow burn.
Don't be sorry, babe! You're perfectly alright. In good time you will be able to relax and feel a bit more confident, you know? Don't force yourself into anything *less-than-three*
I'll have to listen to it! Thanks! (Also, yaaasss, let's go see it together!)
Guest comment 08-27-18 (Hi, new friend!)
I do love it when silent readers become articulated ones 😉 Awe! Thank you so much! But, let's be honest, this isn't just a random human AU, it's the random human AU. There's like, four different AUs in this. I'm glad you like slow burns, as well! We need more of them for this pairing. And I'm really glad you like the characterization. Plot and romance are great and all, but if the characters aren't right they fall flat on their ass. Thank you so much for your comment!
COMMENT! What's your favorite Disney movie and why? Also, who else has seen Brother Bear over a hundred times? I know I have.
