THE STAIRCASE

By Red Charcoal

Author's note: Thanks to Exquisiteliltart for helping me this week. She is awesome.

CHAPTER 28: POINT OF RETURN

Regina slid her hand up the mare's muscled brown neck, fingers scritching against coarse brown hair.

"So you must be Peppermint," she spoke softly into the animal's ear. "I'm Regina. It's good to meet you."

"Mom, come on, I wanna go," Henry whined from the other side of the stable. She glanced up to see her fidgety son on a pony which seemed as impatient to get moving as he was.

She frowned. Her son's behavior had barely changed in the three weeks they had been coming to the ranch. He actually spoke to her now, it was true. But not politely. And this was no exception.

Before she could make her objections a masculine voice cut in.

"Now hold on there, Mister Henry, you remember your first time meeting Starfire? You had to git to know each other first, introduce yerself properly. Now your mother's just saying hello to Peppermint there for the first time, and I think it's only right yer patient and polite about it."

His tone brooked no argument and Regina swore she saw a tinge of embarrassed red colouring her son's ears. Matt's opinion clearly mattered more than hers did. So what else was new?

She shot a grateful look over to the stable owner and gave her mare a final pat before edging over to its left side. She slid her boot into the shiny stirrup, effortlessly pulling herself up into the saddle, with an ease borne of a lifetime of practice. Or, in her case, practice from a lifetime ago.

Peppermint shifted under her, adjusting to the new weight and foreign rider, and she patted her, murmuring reassurances.

She felt two sets of eyes watching her and felt oddly self-conscious. She didn't meet their curious gazes and instead glanced around for a moment, trying to readjust to being so high up, her fingers automatically readjusting the reins. The feel of the leather … It felt achingly familiar.

An old memory washed over her. Another time. Another riding companion. Brown eyes watching her, stroking her horse's mane as he whispered to her. She swallowed anxiously. The emotion must have shown on her face because she sensed the burly flannel-shirted man beside her abruptly clear his throat and stride off and mutter something to Henry. She looked over to him in confusion.

Moments later Starfire and Henry were plodding off towards a beginner's trail, and Matt was turning back to her.

"Hey now, jes… take your time there, Madame Mayor. It can be an adjustment after a few years out of the saddle. But it will come back to you. No need to be nervous."

Regina tightened her grip on the reins, slightly irritated at being treated like a terrified beginner, but also unsettled he had read her so accurately. Still, the man had his uses. Trying to adjust while under the impatient glare of Henry wasn't what she needed right now. She took about ten minutes to steady herself and her thoughts. She felt a calm wash over her. Matt picked up on it immediately.

"Why don't ya try walking on for a bit?" he asked. "You kin catch up with Henry. He's taking the northern trail. He won't be too far off."

Regina nodded tersely, and without thinking, clicked her mouth automatically while gently applying pressure to Peppermint with her heels. Suddenly she was moving and the sensation was so absurdly familiar the mayor wasn't sure how to react. Instincts took over and she expertly manouvered the animal past Matt.

"Oh 'scuse me, I have a visitor," he called over to her. "I'll catch you both later. Just stick to the trail. It's real easy."

Regina nodded and found herself already adapting to the commanding gait of her horse, powerful equine legs now picking up their pace, clearly itching to be underway. She turned to offer a polite thanks only to catch sight of Matt's visitor.

Regina squinted, taking in the scarf and the solicitous posture that she knew so well now and put her teeth on edge. There was no mistake. She could see Archie Hopper locked in earnest conversation with Matt and they both appeared to be looking her way. She gritted her teeth. She loathed being talked about at the best of times, and if the probing little bug was revealing too much... Dark thoughts skittered through her mind.

She shot them both a filthy look, clicked her mouth again and dug her heels in.

Peppermint launched instantly forward and Regina felt a shock run through her as they surged ahead.

"Regina?!" she heard Archie call out worriedly.

"Madame Mayor!" Matt bellowed at the same time.

She ignored them both and concentrated. She could feel her heartbeat thundering in her ears. Sweat slicked up her hands. It took only a few moments before she caught onto Peppermint's rhythm and began matching it with her own. Her seat steadied, her head and shoulders eased back and she relaxed her white-knuckled grip on the leather.

Then she felt it. What she had felt as a teenager. Why she loved to ride. Freedom. Far from the spidery fingers of her mother's spells. Far from her father's ashamed glances at his boots whenever he didn't intervene in Cora's latest abuse. Away. Far away.

She felt alive.

Matt and Hopper were little smudges behind her. The wind whipped across her face and she realised just how much she missed this.

She couldn't stop a sudden burble of laughter that fell from her lips or the smile that split them wide. It felt… incredible.

"Hyah," she cried out and urged Peppermint even faster. In moments Henry was looming up ahead on the trail and with some regret she finally eased back on the reins, bringing the horse back to a trot to match her son's.

"Having fun, dear?" she asked as she drew level. She knew she must look a sight, hair flying under her black riding hat, cheeks flushed, smiling like a fool. She quickly wiped the grin off her face.

Her son stared at her for a long moment. "Sure," he shrugged. "I can see you are."

Regina considered that from all angles for signs of an undefused grenade. Had he said it resentfully? Finally deciding she didn't care if that was some veiled insult, she simply nodded. "Yes, I really am."

Henry stared then, as though the truth was the last thing he had expected. And just for a moment, he seemed to forget he didn't want her enjoying herself and a grin spread across his face.

He looked down at his white and black pony and back at his mother. "Can we canter now?" he asked hopefully.

"Henry," Regina began incredulously, "You don't even know how."

"I know that. So teach me!" He looked at her imploringly and this time Regina forgot there was any tension between them. The years, the divide, everything else melted away. Her smile widened.

"Of course," she found herself saying. "I will. But you can't learn everything in one day."

"Duh, Mom," Henry said with a teasing grin.

Regina smothered a chuckle, which Henry joined in on. She then realised she couldn't think of a reason to hide it, so she didn't. After a few moments the laughter died and they looked at each other a little shyly.

"I've missed this," Regina finally said, ducking her head as they trotted beneath a stand of trees.

Henry eyed her sideways. "You know we didn't laugh much before," he said quietly.

"I know. And that was my mistake. I think maybe I was too … tightly wound up about doing everything right for you as a parent. I didn't want to make any mistakes. But I never stopped to think what that was like for you."

Henry's mouth dropped open.

"What?" Regina asked, puzzled.

"You never talked to me like that either."

"Like what?"

"Like a… a grown-up. Like I can handle the truth."

Regina exhaled ruefully. "I always wanted to protect you. And I really would like to fix some of my mistakes if you will give me a chance. Do you really want us to be at odds like this forever?"

"I…" Henry bit his lip and shook his head. "I'm really mad with you."

"I know."

"If I say yes and forgive you it just lets you off the hook for everything. For driving away Emma."

A silence fell between them. Finally Regina sighed.

"Well if it helps I believe I … I do feel badly that she's gone."

Henry's head snapped up and he stared at her long and hard. "You're lying," he growled.

"I am not," Regina snapped back.

His bottom lip pushed out. "You wanted her gone, and now she is. Do you think I am stupid?"

"Never. But it's complicated."

"That's what adults always say to avoid telling the truth. I am not a little kid. If you want me to believe you then you'll tell me what happened. No one will. I've asked Dr Hopper and Miss Blanchard and Ruby and Emma. And no one will."

"I can't Henry," Regina shook her head, voice cracking. "It's … a lot of really awful adult stuff happened between us and I can't tell you."

Henry glared back at her, outraged. "Can't or won't?"

Regina hissed in a breath. "Both if you must know. And if you knew you wouldn't thank me for having that knowledge in your head. Some things are too awful. I personally wish I could unsee what happened to me."

Henry looked at her in confusion. "B-but that means you blame Emma. That she did something."

"Did you really think Emma Swan would leave town of her own accord for absolutely no reason just because I asked? Because that worked out so well for me when she first arrived," Regina snapped.

That confounded him and she could see the wheels turning.

"B-but she's the good guy. So she must have …" He sounded less certain now.

Regina forced herself not to bite. The good guy. Of course Emma Fucking Swan could do no wrong in her son's eyes.

"But…" he faded out.

Finally, as if attributing any blame to his beloved birth mother was too much for his small brain, he gave up and reverted to form. Henry glared at her. "You always hated her. Always."

Regina laughed mirthlessly at that. "Oh would that that was entirely true."

Her son gaped at her in complete confusion. She gave a sardonic twist of her lips. "I know you don't believe me but I think… I wouldn't object if she returned."

"Then why run her out of town in the first place?" This was said with a very familiar, very insulting sneer. Clearly he was still unhappy at her challenging his world view of his hero.

Regina sharply pulled on the reins, drawing Peppermint to a stop. She glowered at her son. "I do not have to explain myself to you. I can see treating you as mature enough to have a discussion like this was a mistake. Now if you're quite finished calling me names and insulting my integrity it's time we headed back."

Henry scowled. "We're not even at the halfway mark."

"I'd say we're well beyond the point of return," Regina said sharply. She watched as his shoulders slumped but was satisfied when she saw the left rein being tugged, turning his pony around.

"You're mean." She heard the tiny rebellious mutter, not intended to be heard, and thinned her lips. So are you, she thought to herself, eyeing her son resentfully, not for the first time.


Archie and Matt were deep in conversation on an old wooden bench outside the stables when the horses returned. The psychiatrist had a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and his other was animatedly waving as he discussed something with enthusiasm.

Regina took one look at how in cahoots they seemed and shot them another suspicious glare. Matt saw her first, leaping to his feet and striding over. "How was the ride?" he bellowed cheerfully.

It occurred to Regina that virtually everything he did was at bellow volume. "You took to Peppermint like a pro! She doesn't always like strangers."

Regina slid off the horse, her smooth black boots landing easily on the ground and gave the mare an absent-minded pat. "She's beautiful," she said. "Actually it was Peppermint who was the pro. I merely hung on."

Matt nodded, pleased with the assessment. "Sign of a fine rider that," he offered. "One who respects the animal she rides and gives it the credit. Whoever taught you did it well."

Regina's face fell. A slow and horrible montage appeared before her face before she could stop it. Of her authoritarian tutor drilling lessons into her, and her returning the horses after each lesson to Daniel. Daniel who would take her gently in his arms for a comforting hug and call the tutor a horrible old bat and make her laugh. Then he would stroke her face with calloused fingers and ask how she was. And remind her that he loved her. For a moment, as the scent of staw hit her nose, it was like being back there. Her heart ached. Hell, there was a reason she'd been avoiding stables for years.

"Mom? What's wrong? You're crying!"

Horrified, Regina lifted her hands to her face and smeared away the betraying salt water. She made her hands form fists at her side, as if bunching the evidence inside them. "Nothing, Henry," she said sharply. As if he cared.

Matt's voice cut in firmly. "Why don't you go get the saddles off Starfire and your mother's horse there, Henry. And give both a good brush down jes like I showed you."

Henry looked between the two of them for a beat as though he was about to argue. Instead he simply trudged off petulantly and obeyed Matt's instructions.

"Thing about riding is it can bring back a load of memories," Matt offered thoughtfully, fixing Regina with a steady stare. She glanced away, unwilling to see the sympathy in his eyes. Her sight landed on the shape of Archie Hopper stretched out on the bench in the distance still holding his mug. She realised it was as relaxed as she'd ever seen him. Then it occurred to her that she rarely saw him outside of an office setting. Barely knew the man himself at all.

Matt was still speaking and his voice finally seeped back into her brain grabbing her attention.

"Plenty of memories. First time you climbed on. First time you fell off. First time your sweetheart helped you get back up again…"

Regina hissed in a sharp breath and her eyes narrowed as she pinned Matt with a hard stare. "This is NONE of your business. And I will thank you to keep your … pop psychology opinions to yourself. And I don't know what that betraying little weasel Hopper has chirped into your ear but he had NO GODDAMNED RIGHT."

She was trembling with fury, her outrage growing magnificent. She wanted to throttle Hopper and his loose lips. Why she'd ….

Her thoughts trailed off when she saw it.

Danger. Matt's mask slammed down fast enough but it was there. White hot. Warning. And there was also something awfully familiar about him all of a sudden. She felt a shiver rocket down her spine.

"Now then," he began in a low growling voice, "you jes hold your assumings right there. Cos I have no idea in Hell what you are talking about and nor do I ever intend to make it my business to find out. But know this: don't you ever insult the good doc and his intentions again. Ever."

He let the implied threat hang in the air as a startled Regina inhaled. He straightened and continued, leaning forward as if about to tell her a secret.

"Who do you think took over from the sheriff in bringing me the troubled kids? Archie Hopper. Off his own bat, just stepped up to help out, and haul them out here in his own car. That's why he's here now, to talk over which kids need a ride back to town and when he's bringing up the next ones. He does a helluva lot more good than anyone else in Storybrooke. And yes, Madame Mayor, that includes you."

Regina felt her face almost go slack. It was as though she had been slapped. Humiliation at her wrong assumptions warred with the rage at his daring to speak to her like this.

Matt leaned in even closer. He smelled of cheap aftershave and straw and earthiness. And power. Something familiar again tapped away at the back of her brain.

Right now he was almost vibrating with indignation. His voice had dropped impossibly low, like a shallow scrape in the dirt. "This may be a hard concept for you to understand seeing as you're mayor and all, but the whole world don't revolve around you, Miss Regina Mills. And we don't all sit about Storybrooke discussing your comings and goings and happenings in your life."

He took a step back and folded his arms defensively. "Now. That's two."

Regina lifted her eyebrow.

"Here's where you give me a good goddamned apology or you and your boy don't ever set foot on my property again."

Regina felt fury rise anew. She bit back her first response. She wanted to gape at the man's audacity, his presumption at treating her this way. Hell, her office held the purse strings to his funding and yet still he would say this to her.

But she also felt the sinking in the pit of her stomach. He wasn't entirely wrong. She had assumed Hopper was here for her and had been gossiping about her. She gave a wry internal laugh. When had she gotten so full of herself? Why had she ever assumed anyone gave a toss about her, anyway? Especially now with their beloved sheriff driven out of town thanks to her.

She saw Matt's jaw working as he waited for her to decide. She glanced back towards the stables where she could see Henry brushing down Starfire, his tongue caught between his lips as he worked, a picture of concentration.

"I'm … sorry." She ground it out, like jagged glass. There was nothing smooth or pleasant about her words. "I leapt to conclusions. I should not have done that."

She crossed her arms, mirroring Matt's pose. They both knew it didn't sound even remotely genuine.

He eyed her sceptically. Then he shook his head in frustration. "You would play games over this?" He seemed disappointed in her. "Ego matters this much to you?"

Regina glared at him but she thought furiously. Did it?

She forced herself to be calm. To play the politician. What did it matter? What did her feelings matter anyway? Only one thing did now. So. She would fix this.

Finally she exhaled and looked down. "Old habits," she said quietly. "It is hard. For me." She looked up at him and showed she meant it.

Matt unfolded his arms and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. "Well now, I reckon that's the truest thing you have ever said to me. Alright then. 'Pology accepted. So. Same time tomorrow?"

He was already walking off. Conversation over, it seemed. Regina watched him, surprised at the gear change. He was always doing that. Half-finishing a sentence or a thought and walking away. As though life was too short.

Maybe it was.

She thought about that. So many years holding grudges against those who wronged her. Matt let his go after one minute.

She doubted she could ever be that forgiving.

"So is that a yes?" he called out from some distance away now.

"Yes," Regina said, her lips curving into a small smile.

"Good. Till then."

He gave a wave but didn't bother to turn as though something far more important was taking his attention. She watched as he headed back to the bench where Archie sat, picked up his own mug of coffee and resumed his conversation.

Well. She now knew her place.

She found she couldn't even be offended. Maybe she really was changing.

She headed over to Henry.

"You OK?" he grunted at her a bit awkwardly. If that wasn't the question for the year.

He seemed a little ashamed.

"Fine," she replied. "You?"

He shrugged and handed her a spare horse brush. "Yeah."

They worked for a while before a young voice added. "Thanks."

Regina tilted her head. "For?"

"Asking."

Regina looked down to the straw-hewn floor of the stable and tried to hold her emotions together.

She cleared her throat. "You too."

She felt a small arm give her a quick squeeze around her waist and then it was gone.