(Edited)
THE PAST
June was sitting on the couch. Absent-mindedly, her hand glided across the spot where Juan had been sitting only an hour ago. She had been left with a horrible feeling watching him leave, especially after he had been crying. A few weeks ago she never would have imagined that there was such a sensitive guy hidden underneath that tough exterior. Sure, sometimes she got the feeling that he tried to maintain a certain imagine around his friends, but for him to prove her right by breaking when he was with her... The memory of his wet cheeks and sad eyes created a lump in her throat. They hadn't talked much about their families, but if that asshole of a brother was really the only true family he had... then he really must have a hard life.
And now she was only going to make things harder.
Would Mateo even admit to him that he was a rapist? There was no way Beth could be wrong about him, right? She found it hard to believe, especially since those types of accusations, without proof could destroy someone. Juan deserved so much more than a brother who ought to belong in jail...
June turned her glance towards the front door opened when she heard the lock click. April pushed her mother's wheelchair inside, stopping it next to the couch, where their mother stood up carefully. June got up to support her and helped her sit back down in the more comfortable location. Taking a cushion, she handed it to her mother, so she could put it behind her back and was rewarded with a grateful smile in return.
"Can you two please go run a few errands for me?" her mother asked the twins. "June made a list this morning."
June took the paper from the table and gave it to her sister. From the doorway to the living room, she could see May looking curiously at them; the girls knew their mother wanted to be alone with their older sister for a while, but they didn't know why.
As the twins left the house, her mother grabbed her hand and squeezed softly. June hadn't told her much, only that something had happened that she needed to talk to Juan about. She wanted to be sure about what he had done with Rodey, before she talked to her mother about it. She hadn't wanted to create any suspicions or rumours.
"What is going on, sweetheart? Ever since your friends stopped by this morning, that beautiful smile left your face."
June sighed softly. "Remember how I told you that Rodey was my date for the prom? Jordy's cousin?"
Her mother nodded.
Turning her head away, she stared at her fingers. Except for Juan, she hadn't talked about it with anyone, her friends hadn't bothered to ask. She took a deep breath. "Well... umm, he thought that I was a boring date, so he took some sort of pill to make him have more fun, I guess…" she muttered. "But I didn't know that. So after a while when he wanted to get some air... I went with him. But once we got outside... he umm… pushed me against a wall and he started to kiss me. We were away from everyone else, so nobody saw and when I tried to push him away, he wouldn't let me. He, he covered my mouth with his hand and started kissing my neck while his hand... his hand slipped into my bra." She closed her eyes as the images shot through her head again, as she remembered the panic that had almost knocked her down.
"Oh June..." Her mother's voice was trembling. "Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"
"Because I just wanted to forget about it. I wanted to focus on other things. Better memories." Sighing, she raked a hand through her hair. "That was all that happened. Juan and Jordy noticed that we weren't inside so they came to find us and Juan pulled Rodey off of me. Then – then he brought me home." She swallowed with difficulty. "But when he left... he met up with his brother and I guess they went after Rodey, to make him pay. He had got a knife." She wiped her eyes. "And then – his brother stabbed Rodey. Three times."
She felt how her mother's fingers tensed around her hand. As she looked up skittishly, there however was no shock in her eyes.
"That will teach him."
With wide eyes, June stared at her mother. "W-what?"
Her mother petted her hair. Her fingers were shaking. "You are my little girl, June. More than anything I wish to protect you myself, but I... I can't." She bit her lip, a tear ran down her cheek. "It's a relief to know that you have found someone else who will protect you. Especially... especially once I am gone."
June swallowed, her throat swollen with anxiety. She bent her head. "They – they could have just talked to him or given him a beat down if it was really needed," she muttered. Tears itched in her eyes and she quickly focused on what had happened, instead of her mother's nearing end. "It's not like he's some random guy, it's Jordy's cousin. And he – he's in the ICU now."
"A words or a simple beating mean nothing to men like that, June. The fact that he is your friend's cousin, doesn't give him the right to do with you whatever pleases him. If anything it should have been that fact that kept him from touching you!" Although her mother's voice was usually soft, it sounded embittered now. "From now on he will think twice before he gropes a girl again. Things could have gotten much worse if Juan hadn't gone looking for you."
June bit her nail. Of course it was wrong what Rodey had done, but he didn't deserve to die because of it, right? Maybe it wasn't their intention to injure him so badly, but nevertheless, that was what had happened.
"Mateo... – Juan's brother – is so much worse than Rodey, mom." she muttered. "Beth says that he was the one who abused and raped her sister; that he spread their private video's around school which caused her to..." June swallowed, wiping her eyes once more. "Now Beth is angry with me because I have feelings for Juan, since his family is the one that caused her sister's death. And then with Juan wanting to hurt Rodey while his own brother..." She pressed her hands to her hair. Soothingly, her mother rubbed her back. "I just don't know what to do anymore, mom," she whispered. "Juan looks up to his brother, he doesn't want to believe that he is capable of such a thing. When I – when I told him that his brother could be a rapist, it hit him really hard. He – he cried. I really think he has no one besides Mateo."
"You can't blame that boy for the crimes of his brother." Her mother was still stroking her shoulders in a soothing way.
June snuggled closer to her. She knew her mom was not as well as she led her and her sisters to believe, but she was still around now and June would seek out her comfort for as long as she could. The thought that Juan couldn't have these kinds of moments; that he didn't have a father or a mother who he could pour his heart out too, only an older brother who was probably more likely to drag them both down than to provide him any sort of comfort, made her heart shrink.
"Was this Mateo ever arrested because of the rape?"
"No," June muttered. "Not that I know of. If he had – then he would still be in jail, right?"
"And why is that, you think?"
June shrugged her shoulders. "He probably talked himself out of it?"
Her mother let out a soft sigh. "How old was he when it happened? Fifteen? Sixteen? When I heard the story all those years ago, and I know this doesn't mean that it didn't happen, but she didn't press charges." Her face grew a little softer. "We just moved to this neighborhood when Katie committed suicide. Everyone was talking about it, there were so many stories going around... I'm sure Beth has gone through a really tough past few years, and she might have latched onto the story that she could put the most anger into, the one that allows her to blame someone for her loss. She was only twelve years old when it happened, and her parents probably were trying to shelter her from what was happening, don't forget that."
June took a deep breath and ran a hand across her face. She could barely believe it; her mother was picking Mateo's side. "I told you what kinds of things Mateo said to me. He practically called me a whore!"
"I'm not saying he's a saint, June, but it doesn't make him a rapist. He took a big risk when he went after Rodey last night. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't care about you– or at least about his little brother."
June bit her lip. Her mother didn't understand. Mateo was the type of guy that didn't need much incentive to do something so horrible, but she didn't dare to say that out loud. Her mother already warned her to not condemn either brother before she knew the full stories.
"If Shawna or Jordy had called him a rapist, would you have responded the same way?" June asked quietly. "You – you don't like Beth much, do you?"
Her mother sighed softly. "It's hard to read her. She has always been so... cold. Shawna is a sweetheart and Jordy is like a daughter to me, but Beth... I'm a lucky woman if she even greets me when she comes into my home." Her mother was silent for a moment, brows drawn and lips pinched in disapproval. Her respiration told June that she needed some time to control her breathing as she was getting worked up. "You will come to learn June that some friends give you energy, others take it from you. Ideally, a good friendship does both. But with Beth... I always have the feeling she doesn't give much, June. I saw how angry she was when she left the house this morning. I understand she's having a rough time, but so are you, June, so is Shawna and Jordy. The three of you complement each other, support each other. But Beth..."
"She has no one besides us, no friends," June said softly. "And I know you might not see them but there really are moments that she's nice. But ever since she found out that Juan and I like each other... things have just been hard for her."
Her mother caught her glance. "Maybe you should be asking yourself which of them makes you happier; Beth or Juan. It's okay to choose for yourself now and then, June. It has always made me so proud to see you thinking of other people's happiness and watching you do everything you can to help them. But it's also okay to put your happiness first. I have never seen you shine like you did last night. Allow yourself some happiness, sweetheart."
June dropped her eyes. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. If she was to start dating Juan now and things didn't work out between them, she might lose her friends. Especially Beth, and Jordy... Jordy was still processing what had happened to her cousin. She wanted to give her time and not cause any more stress. That wouldn't have a good influence on a possible relationship with Juan anyway.
She didn't respond to her mother's words, but rested her head against her shoulder and closed her eyes.
That night June went to see Jordy. Shawna and Beth weren't around – she hadn't even heard anything from Beth since she had rushed out of the house earlier that day.
"They just took him out of the ICU," Jordy told her as they had sat down on the bed. June clutched a pillow between her arms and fidgeted with a corner of the case. "They said his colon was perforated two times, so they had to do a surgery to fix it. He lost a lot of blood, but he'll survive," she explained with a shaky smile.
June took her hand and squeezed. "I'm really happy to hear that," she said softly.
"Did you talk to Juan?"
"Yeah..." She bent her head, she didn't dare to look at her friend any longer. "He said he just wanted to beat him up, because of what he did to me… Mateo said it should be more and pushed a knife into his hands. But when Juan refused to use it, Mateo grabbed it from him and did it himself. He told me that he tried to stop his brother, but that it went too fast and that he was scared." Her fingers were trembling as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"The ambulance got to him really quick," Jordy said. "They said they got an anonymous tip. I guess he called them right after they left." Sighing, she ran a hand through her blue hair. "This is all on me. If I hadn't set you two up, none of this would have happened."
June squeezed her hand, a little sternly. "You couldn't have known that he would find me so boring he would do something like that. I think – I think he was out to it the whole time, and that the pills were what encouraged him to, you know, do what he did. Like the way he sometimes looked at me or touched me and some of the things he said to me... I thought I was imagining things; maybe I just lacked experience with boys, but looking back now..."
A silence fell – which was a rarity when Jordy was around. June didn't know what more to say, what they should talk about. She wanted to know if her friend was still blaming Juan, but deep down she already knew the answer. The fact that Rodey was out of intensive care, didn't change the fact that it still had happened.
"Do you think you'll be ever able to forgive him?" she asked quietly. Squeezing the pillow, she waited for an answer. "He wasn't the one who stabbed him, but he was still there."
"I think he loves you, June," Jordy said.
Her words caught her by surprise, making her look up with wide eyes.
"Beth got it in her head that he thinks he owns you, but we both know that isn't true. He's way to sweet to consider you as his property. I think... he finds you more than an interesting girl alone. I think he loves you and when he saw you struggling, it hit him really hard, especially since Rodey was touching you when you didn't want him to. It hurt him a lot I think. And I can't – I can't blame someone for loving you, June. Sometimes love can make us do stupid things. And I'm not surprised that he couldn't stop his brother, I don't think anyone would be able to stop him if he really wanted to hurt someone. To be honest, I'm just angry with my cousin for thinking he could pull a trick like that while he knew that Juan liked you and that his brother was around. He should have known how this would end for him. Mateo isn't exactly known to be an angel."
Mateo... it felt like he was the root of every problem.
"I asked him to talk with his brother," June said after a while. "About Katie. It feels like he's deaf to everything that is said about his brother. Like, I get it, it's not like he has anyone else." She sighed deeply. "He cried today, Jor, when I told him what Beth said about his brother. He looked so broken at the thought that his brother could be a rapist..."
"I can relate a little bit to how he's feeling," Jordy muttered. "Now I have to live with the fact that my cousin groped my best friend." She squeezed June's hand again. "So he hadn't heard all the gossip around Mateo. That's something good right? It means that he can't agree with that kind of behavior, like Beth claimed cause he didn't even know! But, imagine if his brother confesses what he did... then he's gonna need you, June. If he was brave enough to cry around you, and if he really opened up so much to you... then you can't abandon him. Maybe... maybe you should ask him if he already has had that conversation."
June hesitated, then she nodded. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and typed: Hey, Rodey's out of the ICU and his life is no longer in danger. Have you already talked to your brother? Let me know if you need someone to talk to or if you just want a hug or something? x J.
It didn't take long before she got an answer. I'm really relieved to hear that! Yea I talked to Mateo. I believe he was honest and that things didn't go like Beth thinks they went. We can talk about it Monday, okay?
June smiled as she read it, looking forward to the upcoming week as her phone buzzed again. And I'd always want a hug from you. :$
The last message made her smile and with a blush that was similar to the emoji he had sent her, she let Jordy read the text.
"He's such a cutie." Jordy rested her head on June's shoulder. "It almost makes me jealous. I wish there was someone who was so head over heels for me."
"You're amazing, Jor. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it happens to you. For me uh, this was all so unexpected."
A hint of a smile danced around Jordy's lips. "I can't believe I haven't asked yet! Tell me everything about last night! You two kissed, huh?"
June sighed softly at that beautiful memory. "He was so sweet. After he brought me home, we went to the park and then – then he told me that he had seen me sitting in this park a year ago, when I was drawing, and that he'd been staring for minutes at me and that... that was the moment he realized that he had a crush on me." Just like yesterday, her cheeks started to glow. "And then we danced, with your MP3, closer and closer and then... then I told him that I was falling in love with him and he said the same and then he asked me if he could kiss me." She started to ramble and peeked at Jordy, her friend's face had a smile on it from ear to ear.
"And? How was the kiss?"
June closed her eyes, thinking back to the moment. "Well, I was super nervous and he was too, and when our teeth bumped I panicked. But he was so sweet, he took me to the bench because my legs were shaking and then we tried again. And then – well then it was really, really nice," she whispered. Unconsciously, her tongue glided across the inside of her lip, as if she could still feel his touch. "And then... then there was more dancing and talking and cuddling. And kissing."
"Oh Junie..." Jordy wrapped her arms around her and pressed her cheek against hers. "I'm so happy for you, sweetie. You two are just made for each other. Don't let him go, girl. Whatever shitty things his brother has done, whatever Beth thinks of him... what you feel for each other is pure and you really have to cherish it."
A tear itched in the corner of her eye. It felt like she had been craving to hear those words all day long.
