A Lesson From A Yin Master

Waking up to the blinding morning sunlight, Subaru turned over on the bed as he mumbled to himself "The sun, my natural nemesis comes to greet me once again. The only way to make this worse is if Julius was sitting in a chair next to my bed. Him being the first person I wake up to would be-"

"Good morning, Subaru Natsuki."

With the picture of the purple-haired knight coming to mind, Subaru was on the verge of cursing "You've got to be kidding-! Oh, it's just you, Rem."

Sitting in a chair next to the bed, Rem giggled "Did I do a good job of impersonating your best friend? If I thoroughly fooled and humiliated you, I wouldn't mind it if you praise me and pet my head."

Starting to rub his eyes, Subaru groaned "What's with this abrupt change in attitude? Did I do something to make you mad recently?"

With her lips curving into a smile, Rem explained "I just wanted to tease you a bit."

"A trait that you share with Beako, speaking of which." Turning to look at his wife, Subaru listened as she lightly snored next to him. To Subaru, the picture of his wife sleeping was his most treasured sight.

Bending over to take a closer look, Rem remarked "She's really cute when she's asleep like this."

"Yeah, because when's she like this, she can't scold and berate you." Subaru said with a chuckle as he immediately went to poking her cheeks "Do you want to poke her cheek too? It's a lot of fun."

With her expression faltering, Rem pointed out "Subaru, if you tease me like that, it'll make me sad. Unless it's to you, something as simple as a single poke is impossible for me."

Offering the hand he used to poke the spirit to Rem, Subaru said "Give me your hand."

Immediately accepting Subaru's offer, Rem intertwined her fingers with Subaru who couldn't help but comment "Even if you don't really exist, I can still feel your touch. I guess I'm really good at deluding myself."

With a small shake of her head, Rem stated "Don't say things like that, Subaru. Even if I exist solely for you, I am still here. This warmth is proof of that."

"Yeah, you're right. I know you're right." Subaru agreed, and as he admired the touch of her hand, he ordered "Now extend your index finger for me."

Following Subaru's instruction, Rem sheepishly giggled "Are we about to perform ninjutsu?"

"You really did come from my mind all right." Subaru sighed as he brought their hands closer to the sleeping loli until he was once again poking her cheek.

As he poked Beatrice with the hand he used to hold Rem's hand, Subaru smiled "Even if it's something like this, doesn't it feel like you're poking Beako too?"

With her lips curving into a childish smile, Rem giggled "Heehee, it actually does. Oh my, I think I can get addicted to this."

With the image of her sleeping sister coming to mind, Rem asked "Do you think we could do this to my big sister too? She's bad at waking up in the mornings, so she should still be asleep."

"Nope, not happening." Subaru immediately rejected as he went on to reason "Even if Ram's been a lot more reasonable lately, she'd probably kill me if I-"

"I'll kill him myself!" Subaru stopped midsentence once Ram's desperate and anguish-filled words resurfaced in his mind.

Already knowing what Subaru was thinking about, Rem comforted "Subaru, my big sister would never kill you. I know she doesn't act like it, but she does care about you."

"Is that another one of my delusions?"

"Why don't you ask my big sister and find out?"

Trying to get her cries out of his head, Subaru replied "Even if I ask her, I'm sure she'll just tell me how my existence is comparable to the dirt beneath her feet."

"Is it because my sister's a tsundere?"

"It's more like she's just tsun-tsun." Subaru gave a small chuckle as he went on to ask "Anyways, are you excited for the fireworks later on today?"

Clasping her hands together, Rem beamed "Yes! I am eagerly and impatiently waiting for- Ah."

"Nhhhh..."

Noticing the sleeping spirit starting to grumble, Rem closed her eyes and showed Subaru a smile "I'll be taking my leave now. I'll see you later, Subaru."

After a blink of his eyes, Rem was gone from his sight which prompted him to consider her words "'See you later', huh."

"What are you doing, I wonder?"

With his gaze returning to his wife, Subaru noticed that her eyes were half-opened as he went on to reply "Isn't it obvious? I'm poking your cheeks."

Not bothering to swat her husband's hand away, Beatrice slowly rose from the bed as she yawned "Playing with my cheeks while I'm asleep is bad manners. If you weren't my husband, I would have to blast you, I suppose."

With his finger still implanted into his wife's cheek, Subaru chuckled "C'mon, I bet you mess with my face all the time when I'm asleep."

"Hmpf, keep your baseless speculations to yourself, I suppose." Beatrice crossed her arms as she went to puff her cheeks.

Becoming fascinated by her inflated cheeks, Subaru beamed "Ohhh! It's even better with your cheeks puffed out. Keep them like that for a little bit."

Finally swatting his hand away, Beatrice growled "It's irritating to be treated like some sort of cheap amusement, I suppose!"

Waving a finger in front of her face, Subaru point out "But Beako, marriage is cheap entertainment, especially if you marry a great spirit who uses basically no utilities."

Finally sitting up from the bed, Beatrice mumbled "Honestly, will you ever allow me to wake up normally; although, it's not like I mind waking up like this all that much, I suppose. Also, Subaru, you don't have any work today, right?"

Happy to be reminded of his day off, Subaru smiled "Yeah, Ros-chi gave all us hard workers the day off for the festival tonight."

Looking up at her husband, Beatrice said "If that's the case, I'll have you follow me after breakfast. Today's finally the day I told you, I suppose."

Barely stopping himself from going into a panic, Subaru asked "Told me what? If you're vague like that, I'll start getting paranoid."

With her arms crossed, Beatrice nodded her head a few times as she evaluated her husband "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do just fine, I suppose."

"Whatever this is about, I'm just getting more worried!"

-Roughly an hour later-

Staring across the empty expanse in front of him, Subaru asked "So, what are we doing out here in the field? We're pretty far away from the mansion."

Raising her arm and aiming her hand, Beatrice chanted "Minya."

As four purple crystals appeared around Beatrice, Subaru watched with amazement as the stakes were launched and destroyed several trees "W-Whoa! That's awesome! Outside of you blasting me out of the library, I haven't seen you perform any offensive spells."

Giving a satisfactory nod at his reply, Beatrice went on to say "As much as I want to pry more praise out of you, I believe now it is your turn, I suppose. Start by visualizing the magic I just performed."

"W-What are you-"

Jumping on Subaru's back, Beatrice covered his eyes as she impatiently repeated "Show me the fruits of your wild imagination! Visualize my Minya until you can perfectly picture it in your head, I suppose!"

"V-Visualizing."

"Now chant, I suppose."

"M-Minya."

Pulling on her husband's ear, Beatrice instructed him "That wasn't a chant, but rather a feeble utterance. Do it again with feeling this time, I suppose."

Starting to get into it, Subaru imagined himself holding spell book as he went on to chant "What's with this roleplay? That tears it! It's time to summon my strength from within! Zake- I mean, Minya!"

With Subaru achieving the same shameful result yet again, Beatrice pointed out "Your words may have been louder, but you still lack resolve. Is there any hatred inside of you? If so, during your chant, visualize striking down the object of your hate, I suppose."

"My brain trembles."

With the suppressed memories of 'him' coming back to mind, Subaru roared "Minya!"

Just like Beatrice had done before, several magical stakes appeared around Subaru and were sent hurdling in front of him.

As Subaru stared with his jaw agape from what he just accomplished, Beatrice started petting his head as she softly smiled "It didn't take you as long as I thought it would. This feat is deserving of praise. What a wonderful contractor you are, I suppose."

Even though he wanted to savor the spirit's praise, Subaru couldn't help but question "Let's skip over the praise for now. How the heck did I do that?! My gate's trashed and I don't have much mana either!"

With something else entirely coming to mind, Subaru's expression turned grave as he uttered "Actually, there's something else I need to ask. This is very, extremely, important."

Taking her husband's expression seriously, Beatrice asked "What is it, I wonder?"

"Do you think I can use magic to perform a Kame-"

Already knowing what Subaru was getting out, Beatrice snapped "Keep your childish fantasies to yourself! Even you should realize that techniques in fiction have no place in the real world, I suppose."

Watching as Subaru started to sulk, Beatrice couldn't help but think that his eagerness was adorable as she went on to smile with confidence "To help keep your bizarre imaginations in check, I'll show you a technique that will make you completely forget about that Kame-whatever, I suppose. You can revel in this technique's amazingness as well."

With the way Beatrice was talking this technique up, Subaru started to sweat "W-We're not about to blow up the planet by accident, are we?"

"It's nothing that grandiose, I suppose!" Beatrice snapped as she went on to instruct "Visualize the magic you just performed, and once you're ready, chant 'El Minya', I suppose."

Seeing the obvious opportunity in front of him, Subaru posed with his right hand positioned in front of his face as he chanted "I am the bone of my sword."

Pressing her fingers to her temples, Beatrice let out a heavy sigh "It was foolish of me to expect anything different of you, I suppose."

Once he nearly finished the quote, Subaru shouted to the heavens "Unlimited El Minya Works!"

At his chant, purple stakes formed all around him; however, there were significantly more stakes than before. Subaru couldn't even count them all before they were sent hurdling towards the empty plain in front of him.

Witnessing the havoc the magical stakes inflicted upon the earth, Subaru yelled "OH MY GOD!"

Bringing her face closer to witness the starstruck expression Subaru was making, Beatrice asked "Did that help satiate your wild dreams, I wonder?"

Turning his head to see his wife smiling, Subaru exclaimed "Yes, it did! That was so freaking awesome! It was just like the Gate of Babylon! I was worried the rest of my meaningless chant would ruin the spell incantation, but as long as you say the vital incantation, it still works! I'm living out all my childhood and adult fantasies right now! Do you think I could do it again?! There's something else I want to shout next!"

Losing the smile on her face, Beatrice went on to say "Subaru, I need you to listen to me and take this warning to heart, I suppose."

"I should've known there was a catch." Subaru sighed, noticing the seriousness in her voice.

As she closed her eyes to think of where to begin, Beatrice started to explain "You weren't using your own mana for those techniques. We share a lot of things as a result of our contract, namely our fate, memories, and mana, I suppose."

Seeing the point Beatrice was making, Subaru clarified "So, I was actually using your mana to do that?"

"Precisely, and that brings me to my next point. Subaru, I have told you about my mana consumption and your mana capacity once before, correct?"

Clasping his hands together, Subaru imitated the spirit "Yeah, I remember you saying something along the lines of 'Subaru, you stupid blockhead! You can only supply me with enough mana to stay alive, I suppose!' Was it something like that?"

Although slightly bothered by Subaru's imitation of her, Beatrice continued regardless "Yes, now let me fully enlighten you of our situation. As you remember, your mana supply is barely enough to sustain me. There's practically nothing leftover to use magic with. I've only been able to perform magic this far because of the mana that I've saved up until now, I suppose."

Comparing Beatrice's mana capacity to a bank, Subaru asked "Meaning, once you use up all the mana in your reserve, you'll go bankrupt?"

Thinking Subaru's summary was too vague, Beatrice went on to clarify "To make things perfectly clear, at that point, I won't be able to use magic. Living day to day will still be possible thanks to your supply, but I wouldn't be able to perform magic. Of course, that will affect things such as my Door Crossing, I suppose."

"If we can't use your Door Crossing, then…"

Seeing that Subaru realized the gravity of their situation, Beatrice went on to explain "Spirits in general can still absorb mana from the atmosphere; however, it's impossible for me. Call it a design flaw for a seemingly perfect being, I suppose."

Remembering something Beatrice once said, Subaru brought up "Didn't you say you used to absorb mana from people using the Forbidden Archives as a medium? Doesn't that mean you can just absorb mana from somebody else?"

With a small shake of her head, Beatrice explained "That option was closed off to me ever since I made a contract with you. While it's certainly possible to take mana from others, I refuse to betray you, I suppose."

Tilting his head, Subaru wondered aloud "Betray? So, you're saying that you can still absorb mana from others then?"

After a heavy sigh to relieve her frustration, Beatrice asked "Subaru, tell me, if I said you could kiss another girl if you wanted, would you, I wonder?"

"What are you even asking me? Of course I wouldn't." Subaru replied without hesitation.

Taking some comfort in his quick reply, Beatrice went on to speak "If you said I could absorb mana from others, that's exactly what I would have replied with. You simply cannot understand this sentiment since you're not a spirit, but I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for taking mana from another while contracted with you. It goes doubly so since we're so intimate enough to be husband and wife, I suppose."

Finally accepting that this was a line Beatrice wouldn't allow herself to cross, Subaru asked "So, once you use up all your spare mana, that's it? We can't fight anymore, and we can't go back and forth between worlds?"

"Correct. It's also worth noting that I also have a sizable amount of mana stocked up in the Forbidden Archives as well. Call it a mana bank if you will, I suppose."

"But that's just another stockpile that will eventually run out, right?" Subaru asked, and as he was reminded of how useless he was in this world, he cursed himself "Dammit, why was I even brought to this fantasy world if I have no capacity for mana? I really am horrible at this spiritualist thing."

Once again relying heavily on Beatrice without being able to give her anything in return, Subaru apologized "I'm sorry, Beatrice. I'm literally the worst person you could have ended up with in terms of spiritualism."

Lightly pinching the boy's cheek, Beatrice also patted Subaru's head as she went on to say "Subaru, I'm not telling you this to be hard on you, I suppose. I made that contract with you knowing the downsides, because being bound to you brings me great happiness, as both great spirit, and now as your wife."

"Subaru, you see, I don't enjoy fighting. To me, fighting is just a crude way of one person forcing their greed upon another. If we could go our entire lives just using Door Crossing from time to time, I would be content; however…"

Finally letting go of her peaceful outlook, Beatrice continued "I can't delude myself into thinking we can go our entire lives without fighting, I did contract myself to a human, after all. Your fights will become my fights, so I cannot maintain this flimsy pacifism anymore, I suppose."

Thinking back to that dreadful night, Beatrice recalled her unforgivable mistake "Especially considering how much harm I've inflicted upon another. I act like I have higher standards, but my greed mirrors that of a human's, I suppose."

Hearing the hurt in his wife's voice, Subaru called her name "Beatrice..?"

Brushing away those thoughts for the moment, Beatrice poked her husband's nose as she went on to speak "Subaru, you have a terrible habit of including yourself in matters that don't involve you. You're both courageous and reckless, and much to my dismay, you don't care about what happens to yourself. That's probably the work of your persisting self-contempt, I suppose."

Wrapping her arms tightly around the boy, Beatrice continued "Maybe this will heighten your self-worth. For every injury you receive due to your self-negligence, I will heal and kiss your wounds until they are better. For every time you curse yourself for not being good enough, I'll profess my love for you and tell stories of all the times you made me smile. For every time you wish for things to be different, I'll show you how blessed we truly are together."

Becoming so close to Subaru to the point where her cheek clashed with his, Beatrice softly smiled "You are my other half. So, keep your chin up, your eyes focused on what's in front of you, and whenever you talk about yourself, speak with pride. Tell stories of how you sweet-talked a great spirit into marrying you. That bragging right is solely yours, I suppose."

At a complete loss for words, Subaru finally replied "I don't really understand how we got to the point of you giving me a pep talk."

"These are the words that lingered in my mind for so long, and I figured now would be the best time to say them, I suppose. I just… I really worry about you, Subaru. You bring me a great deal of happiness, but with that comes an almost equal amount of anxiety. I'm always worried that you'll do something… that can't be undone."

"Is she talking about..?" Pushing away that dark memory, Subaru changed the subject "So, why are you teaching me magic anyways?"

"Oh, right. It appears I got a little sidetracked." Beatrice scratched her cheek as she went on to explain "As I said, you're someone who will fight if the situation demands it, just like how you've fought that deranged woman in the capital, the demon beasts, and the witch's cult, I suppose. I would like to say I will protect you using all the mana I have in reserve; however, as a safety measure, I would like you to use these spells if you feel like your life is in danger."

With her grip on the boy tightening, Beatrice finished "No matter what, you're someone that can't be allowed to die in battle. So, make another promise to me. Vow to use my magic to keep yourself alive. Use up everything in you must, flee if you have to. Just promise that you'll return to me safe and sound, I suppose."

Having already felt the pain of dying to someone else many times over, Subaru agreed "I promise. I can't go dying in battle and leaving you all alone."

With her eyes starting to water, Beatrice spoke through shaky breaths "Not… Not just in battle. I don't want you dying at all, Subaru."

The anguish the spirit failed to hide on her face pierced Subaru's heart as he struggled to find the words to comfort her "Beatrice…"

Hopping off of her husband, Beatrice slapped her cheeks as she slowly regained her composure "I'm afraid I can't indulge in your company any longer. Naoko and I promised Petra that we would take her shopping for a yukata for the carnival tonight, so I'll be taking my leave, I suppose."

"O-Okay, sounds- Wait, you're taking Petra over there?"

Turning back around to face the boy, Beatrice tried easing him of his doubts "There shouldn't be any cause for you to worry. I plan on explaining to Petra that Japan is simply a distant and largely unheard-of nation. A little girl knowing only of her village probably wouldn't guess she's been taken somewhere beyond this world, I suppose."

Still skeptical about the whole thing, Subaru pointed out "I still think Petra is going to barrage you and mom with questions. Listen, I don't want the fact that I'm from a different world from spreading. Even if you convince Petra that Japan is a part of this world, at least try to tell her to stay quiet about it."

With another person coming to mind, Beatrice asked "What should we do about Frederica, I wonder?"

Scratching his head in frustration, Subaru sighed "Ah, you're right. If Petra's going to the festival with us tonight, I would feel terrible for leaving Frederica out. I guess I better invite her and pray that she doesn't catch on."

"That's a flimsy plan at best, but I agree that Frederica shouldn't be left behind, I suppose."

After walking back to the mansion together, Subaru and Beatrice parted ways, leaving Subaru alone with his thoughts about the new maid "Well, I guess since she's a resident of this mansion, she was going to find out sooner or later."

Finding the blonde-haired maid relaxing on the kotatsu, Subaru greeted "Hey there, Frederica."

Giving the boy a humble smile, Frederica replied "Greetings, Subaru. Do you have business with me?"

Taking a seat opposite of Frederica, Subaru first asked "Yup. First things first though, are you feeling better from yesterday?"

With a small nod, Frederica replied "Yes, I feel completely rejuvenated after yesterday's passing ailment. Forgive me for my absence yesterday."

Unsettled by Frederica's bow, Subaru sheepishly smiled "Don't sweat it. Everyone gets sick at some point or another. Just a few months ago, I got sick and Beako actually ordered me to take the day off. She did a decent job as my nurse, but she got sick the next day."

With her eyes widening, Frederica remarked "My, I keep learning new things about Lady Beatrice these days. It fills me with regret that I wasn't there to watch your relationship with her start to blossom."

Not wanting to drag his unease out any longer, Subaru finally said "Anyways, since you're feeling better, I wanted to invite you to a festival we're all going to tonight."

"Ah, yes. Master Roswaal has already informed me about such an outing. He also extended an invitation to me."

Suddenly feeling defeated for some reason, Subaru stuttered "O-Oh, he did? I guess he beat me to it then. Man, this is so embarrassing."

Losing the smile on her face, Frederica also revealed "Master Roswaal also informed me that our destination, the place where your parents live, is beyond The Great Waterfall."

Tilting his head at that unfamiliar place, Subaru asked "'The Great Waterfall', I've heard that a few times. What exactly is that?"

Closing her eyes to ponder her word choice, Frederica finally explained "Put simply, The Great Waterfall is the place where land runs out, or rather, it's the very edge of the world. So, when I say that you have lived beyond it, you could interpret it as originating from someplace beyond this world."

With his fears becoming realized, Subaru clarified "So, Roswaal basically told you that I'm some kind of off-worlder or alien?"

Looking down at her hands, Frederica spoke for herself "Even if Master Roswaal was the one to say it, I still find it hard to believe. There are rumors of people from other worlds, of course, but I just assumed that they were all vain attention seekers."

"Do you think I'm a vain attention seeker too then?"

Looking at Subaru dead in the eyes, Frederica answered "If I must answer honestly, yes; however, that has nothing to do with my thoughts on you being from another world."

Letting out a dry chuckle, Subaru remarked "That's pretty harsh, don't you think?"

Still staring at the boy, Frederica went on to ask "Disregarding whether it's true or not, I assume this is something that you would like to remain a secret?"

Staring up at the ceiling to collect his thoughts, Subaru explained "If word got out that I was from another world, and if people took it seriously, I feel like I would be constantly targeted. Secrets, weapons, and knowledge from another world. Anyone with a shred of curiosity would want a piece of that, so I'd really appreciate it if you keep this under wraps."

After a few seconds passed by with silence, Frederica gave the boy her response "Subaru, my loyalty is with Master Roswaal and with the residents of this mansion. Even if I was tortured, your secrets would die with me."

"Don't you think that's an extreme example?!" Subaru exclaimed at the maid.

Giving Subaru a humble bow, Frederica went on to say "I don't ask of you to divulge any of your secrets. I just ask that you trust me."

Since the maid already knows about his secret, Subaru accepted her words to give himself peace of mind "I'm the kind of guy that will always trust a person until they prove me wrong, so what the heck. I'll take you at your word, Frederica."

Although her eyes briefly widened from shock, Frederica went on to smile "As expected of an underling. You're so compliant that I fear Lady Beatrice will start to plot against me."

With a hand covering his face, Subaru reasoned "With her jealous streak, I'd be really worried if I were you. You'll probably have to check under your bed at night for any traps Beako has laid out for you."

Seeing an opportunity, Frederica's smile widened "Then it can't be helped. I'll have to make do with sleeping in Ram's bed from now on."

"Then you'll be pissing off the two most terrifying girls in this mansion!"

With her hands to her hips, Frederica huffed "How rude. I can be pretty scary if I want to be."

Almost mistaking her for a monster when they first met, Subaru sighed "Oh, trust me, I know."

For a second, Frederica simply blinked a few times as she gazed at Subaru with confusion; however, her eyes quickly started to water as she uttered "Uuuuu…"

With the guilt stabbing through him like knives, Subaru slammed his head to the table as he yelled desperately "I take it back! Please forgive my rude comment, Miss Frederica!"

"Apology accepted." Frederica answered immediately, leaving no trace of her previous expression behind.

Seeing the cheeky smile plastered to the maid's face, Subaru suddenly felt defeated "Oh, great. It looks like Roswaal hired another teaser."

Giving the boy another small bow, Frederica said "I'll try my best to live up to your expectations."

"Please don't!"

After wrapping his conversation up with Frederica, Subaru returned to his room. Since there was a certain lacking of Beatrice to tease, Subaru plopped onto his bed and went back to aimlessly playing video games.

With his door starting to open, Subaru heard someone speak "Barusu, I'm coming in."

Starting to get a headache, Subaru complained with his eyes still glued to the screen "Not that I have any right to be saying this, but at least knock first! If I was in the middle of changing, what would you have done?!"

Not bothering to even close the door behind her, Ram said without hesitation "I'd simply burn you and that repulsive image from my mind."

Still in a bad mood because of her rude entrance, Subaru asked "Why are you even here? Don't you have a Roswaal to entertain or something?"

Starting to walk towards the bed Subaru was laying on, Ram explained "Much to my dismay, accompanying Master Roswaal at all times is impossible. After all, he is a very busy and respectable master, so I can't very well allow myself to distract him too much."

"…'Too much'?"

Sitting at the edge of the bed, Ram watched Subaru play as she finished her explanation "As a result of my boredom and desperation for cheap entertainment, I found my way here."

With his eyebrows scrunching together, Subaru glanced over to see Ram still in her maid outfit "Please don't refer to me as cheap entertainment. Also, shouldn't you be getting dressed for the festival?"

Point at her own clothes, Ram tilted her head "What are you talking about? As you can clearly see, I'm fully dressed."

"So, you're going in your maid outfit after all." Subaru let out a sigh filled with obvious disappointment.

As she continued to gently gaze at the boy, Ram lectured "Aren't you wearing your everyday rags as well? You shouldn't talk of fashion when you wear the same set of clothes every day."

With a smile finally emerging on his lips, Subaru agreed "You got me there, I honestly can't refute that; although, I guess I was a little bit curious about what everybody was going to wear tonight. Like me, Beako loves her usual clothes too, but Petra is apparently going all out tonight."

Looking down at her maid uniform, Ram asked curiously "Are you saying that you want me to wear different clothes?"

Scratching the side of his head, Subaru tried explaining "I don't know how to perfectly answer that, but going out to a festival is an opportunity to show yourself off, so going in work clothes is kind of a waste."

With her eyes locking on to the room's wardrobe, Ram walked towards it as she reasoned "Well, I'm not opposed to the idea of changing my attire every now and again. I've never been one to keep a stocked wardrobe, so I'll have to make do with yours."

Watching with horror as Ram searched through his clothes, Subaru exclaimed "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! You can't just go rummaging through my clothes like that! H-Hey! Don't toss my underwear on the floor so casually! Have some decency!"

With a Pokemon t-shirt in her hands, Ram glared back at the boy "Why are you still here? I need to change."

After getting kicked out of his own room, Subaru stomped on the floor "It feels like everyone in this mansion is conspiring together to make Beako pissed at me. Well, it's about time to go to the festival anyways."

Arriving in the dining hall to see the others gathered there, Subaru approached the blue-haired maiden "Oh, hey, Re-"

"WHOA!" Subaru exclaimed once he finally realized that Rem was wearing a lovely pink yukata. The only thing that could make this moment even better is if Ram somehow appeared behind him wearing a-

Looking behind himself expectantly, Subaru's hopes betrayed him when he didn't find the pink-haired maid standing there. Of course, he didn't have a blue yukata in his wardrobe in the first place, so his dreams came crashing down in front of him.

Gazing at the boy expectantly, Rem smiled shamelessly "Subaru, while it makes me very happy to make you go speechless, I am still waiting impatiently to hear words of praise from you."

Still stunned by Rem's clothing, Subaru bashfully complimented "Y-Yeah, it looks good on you."

Nodding her head energetically, Rem continued to gaze expectantly at Subaru as she continued to probe him "And?"

"And… it fits you?"

With a small stomp of her foot, Rem pouted as she demanded "Subaru, it's a tad frustrating that you keep complimenting my clothes. Rem herself would like a compliment too, you know."

With a sudden thought coming to mind, Rem timidly pressed her fingers together as she blushed "O-Or, are you saying that you refuse to compliment me as long as I'm wearing clothing? If that's the case-"

With his hands waving in front of him, Subaru desperately complimented "Well this conversation took a dangerous turn! You look cute, you look cute!"

Watching as Subaru's cheeks turned scarlet, Rem giggled "Hehe, it really is fun teasing you, Subaru. I see why Lady Beatrice does it all the time now."

"What nonsense are you bothering my sister with now, Barusu? If it's indecent, there will be repercussions for you."

"But Rem's the one making it indecent!" Subaru mentally screamed, and turning around to see the pink-haired twin sister standing behind him, the boy noticed "I didn't think my clothes would actually fit you; although, it looks like the t-shirt is a little too big for you."

In the end, Ram chose to wear the black jeans Subaru bought but never wore and the Pokémon t-shirt that Subaru bought but was too embarrassed to put on.

After looking at the boy with indifference, Ram went over towards Roswaal as she went to ask with a smile "Master Roswaal, what do you think of my attire? Do you think it's fitting?"

With his lips curving into a smile filled with grief, Roswaal sighed "Oh, poooor Ram, it seems you have finally been converted by that boy as well. Even if you ask me suuuuch things, I'm unsure about how to judge fashion from another world."

Suffering a heavy blow, Ram bit into her nail as she cursed "Blast, it seems this was a waste after all. Barusu will pay dearly for this."

Trying to appraise her as well, Frederica commented "Ram, I don't know about the clothing itself, but you certainly look adorable right now."

"I wasn't asking for your input, Fred." Ram hissed back.

Glancing at all of the occupants of the room, Roswaal clapped his hands together "It seeeems almost everybody is accounted for. Now we must waaait for our means of transportation to return."

"Could you not refer to me as some kind of taxi, I wonder?"

Looking over at the doorway to find the annoyed spirit, Roswaal smiled "It's just as Subaru said. If you speeeak ill of someone, they will appear. The power of superstitions is indeeeed frightening."

For a fraction of a second, Beatrice softly smiled once she laid eyes upon her husband; however, once she noticed what Ram was wearing, the spirit's smile vanished as she uttered in a deathly tone "Mister Natuski."

Once again feeling a raging fire from where his wife was standing, Subaru gulped "Y-Yes, miss Natsuki?"

Crossing her arms and with a stomp on the floor, Beatrice asked "May I inquire about why Ram appears to be wearing your clothes, I wonder?"

Pointing at Ram with his trembling hand, Subaru stuttered "S-Shouldn't you be asking her that?"

After letting out a sigh, Beatrice latched onto Subaru's arm as she huffed "Honestly, I can't take my eyes off you without you doing something to test my patience. I'll simply have to be more careful about leaving you alone with other girls from now on, I suppose."

Feeling like he had been spared, Subaru sighed from relief "Ah, finally, an appropriate response. I was worried you'd go straight to blasting me."

Closing her eyes to enjoy her husband's closeness, Beatrice replied "Surely you jest. It's been quite some time since I've last attacked you with magic, I suppose. When it comes to me being reasonable, I simply don't wish to see you in anymore pain."

With her eyes starting to open ever so slightly, Beatrice finished "That's why, from now on, I won't be attacking you. Even for the sake of our usual comedy routine, I absolutely refuse to hurt you, I suppose."

Immediately after Beatrice let go of Subaru, Petra came running up to the boy as she beamed "Subaru, look, look! How do I look? Do I look pretty?"

Gazing at Petra's apricot-colored yukata, Subaru praised "Yes, you do! Wow, Petra, your radiance is about twice as bright today!"

Clearly happy from the compliments, Petra giggled "Hehe, I don't know what you're talking about, but I think you're complimenting me."

With her arms crossing over her chest once again, Beatrice turned away from Petra as she huffed "Hmpf, I won't lose to you, I suppose."

"B-Beatrice?! Not you too!" Petra was on the verge of tears as she hid behind the silver-haired maiden "Lady Emilia, please protect me! You're not weird like those three, right?"

"W-Weird, you say?" Beatrice uttered as she collapsed to the floor, seemingly wounded from Petra's accusation. Knowing that Petra was also referring to her, Frederica had an identical reaction to the great spirit, and from the way she clutched her chest, you'd think she had just been shot.

Gazing at the silly scene before her, Ram interrupted "Petra, turning to Lady Emilia was a grave mistake. She's just as abnormal as those other two. The correct response would have been to run into my accepting arms."

Peeking around Emilia to just barely look at Ram, Petra's reply was filled with fear "B-But your eyes are kind of scary, Ram."

With her expression hardening, Ram lectured "I believe I instructed you to refer to me as Lady Ram."

With her motherly instincts awakening, Emilia put her hands to her hips as she snapped "Hey, stop being mean to Petra. She's such a sweet girl, after all. Also, Subaru has a monopoly on the abnormal market, so I can't be abnormal too!"

"A-Abnormal?" Subaru uttered dejectedly, and following Beatrice's and Frederica's example, the boy sank to the floor as his soul withered into nothingness.

"S-Subaru?" Emilia's voice squeaked out as she watched the boy go limp.

After a heavy sigh, Ram informed the half-elf "Lady Emilia, it would have been fine if I said it, but I think you just did something irreversible to Barusu."

Looking around the see that all eyes were on her, Emilia nervously explained herself "H-Huh? But I was… I was just trying to protect Petra and-"

With a heavy sigh as well, Petra stepped away from Emilia as she revealed "I was actually just playing along with them, but you said something really mean to Subaru just now. I think you should apologize."

Still not understanding what just happened, Emilia spoke desperately "P-Petra? What do you mean you were just playing around?"

"Hey, what's the holdup?" Kenichi asked as he peaked through the doorway.

Realizing they didn't have time to mope on the floor, Subaru and Beatrice got to their feet and supported each other by wrapping an arm around the other.

"She called me abnormal."

"She called me a weirdo, I suppose."


Author's Notes: WAIT! Before you throw your empty wine bottles at your computer screen, let me explain!

So, for those of you that remember a certain warning at the end of last chapter (that I admittedly deleted), I just want you to know that -THAT- is still happening, it's just that this chapter got cut in half. It was looking to be another 12,000+ worded chapter, so I decided to separate it into two chapters, reason being I feel like it's a little intimidating to read such long chapters and I really wanted to go back to posting the usual 7000ish worded chapters.

As for the next chapter, I plan on posting it very soon! I want to post it Friday, but if not, I will have plenty of time over the weekend to finish it since I'm going on a small vacation; although, if the hotel somehow doesn't have WiFi, that means that chapter might not be posted until next Tuesday instead.

Long story short, look forward to the next chapter either Friday, sometime over the weekend, or next Tuesday (or if I'm a f***ing liar, sometime within the next few years).

STILL HYPED FOR SMASH-

I see that I've passed the 200k words checkpoint. Huh.

This season's anime lineup looks amazing! I didn't watch any ongoing anime over the summer (besides Steins:Gate 0 and My Hero, both which started in Spring), but it looks like Goblin Slayer and Reincarnated as a Slime might turn into gems! There's also Zombieland Saga that's caught my eye, but I haven't watched it yet.

And who could forget about mother-loving Jojo part 5?

THOUGH IM STILL MOSTLY HYPED FOR SMA-

Well, that's it for now. See you dumb dumbs soon!