A/N:
Rin's Age: 18
Sesshoumaru's age: 900 in human terms; 22 in demon terms
'Italics' -- Thoughts
'Bold Italics'-- Conscience
CAPITAL WORDS – Emphasis
Bold -- Flashback
Hello! I'm back again.Sorry for taking ages to update! But don't worry, i'm updating now right! Lols... Go on and read it! Oh and REMEMBER TO READ AND REVIEW!
Disclaimers: In my dreams, yes. Reality no.
"Milord, I'm extremely sorry for being late for dinner. Well… I lost track of the time. We can have dinner now…if you want to."
"Why are you angry milord? We were only having some fun time together. Why must you get so worked up?"
"But why milord? Did I anger you or something?"
"Tricks and pranks? What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking all about."
Sesshoumaru got up with a jolt gasping for air every now and then. The words Rin had used on him was haunting him. The image he had seen when he barged into Akira's chamber was haunting him. Last evening's incident was HAUNTING him! He couldn't sleep, couldn't work, and couldn't eat. He simply couldn't concentrate in anything!
"I, Lord of the Western Land, Sesshoumaru do not love YOU, a human. I do NOT have any sorts of feelings for you!" the words from ten months ago replayed in his head. Fate seemed to be mocking him now. He had said that he wouldn't fall for a mortal, but here he was nursing his emotional wounds, the wounds that he had inflicted to himself indirectly. If only he had listened to the desires of his heart, he wouldn't have been in this state; Rin wouldn't have been so cruel towards him.
'She hates me now…she damns me now…I'm too late…I'm absolutely too late… I lost her…' those words kept repeating themselves in his mind. Yes, he had lost her. Now, he wouldn't have to worry, if he was his father's son because he had lost her. He could have kept to his vows, but his heart, which he recently realised that he had it, would be forever shattered. He would have to lead a life with pain. Eternal pain, that is.
Why? Why did it hurt a lot? Didn't he want this all along? A mortal for a mate was never appropriate for a demon lord like himself. Shouldn't he be happy that the human girl, who used to love him, hated him now? Shouldn't he be relieved that he wouldn't have to hurt his beautiful ward? Then why! Why the fuck did it hurt!
"Is this what love supposed to be?" he whispered to himself as he clasped the bed sheet. "I thought love is supposed to be a wonderful thing which happens to anyone? I thought love supposed to bring one bliss and joy? Then why does it hurt this Sesshoumaru?"
'Love is a wonderful thing Sesshoumaru. You're very correct. It brings happiness, joy and pleasure to people who fall in love. But love can hurt you too.'
'But it shouldn't have hurt me this much, should it? This…this pain is far too much for me to take.'
'You finally realised Sesshoumaru? This is what you feel when you're heartbroken. I told you then, take her as your mate but you didn't. I told you then, rejecting her will be your downfall, but you ignored my words. Look at what happened now.' his conscience chided him gently.
'…'
'I know it… She loves you! Even your servant says so. She's just getting back at you.'
"Aargh!" Sesshoumaru roared as he drew out his poisonous whip and flicked it, destroying everything within his chamber, except for his bed. Blood filled his eyes as he panted in regret and frustration.
He hated the pain within his chest; the pain which was eating his heart alive. He hated himself for inflicting such pain for the sake of his pride. Was this what they called 'retribution'?
He continued destroying all the things within his chamber and then collapsed onto the floor the moment he finished his last ounce of his energy. He breathed hard, trying to catch his breath. His silvery hair was dishevelled, his bangs covering his crimson, now turning golden honey, eyes.
He let a bitter smile grace his lips. If only his half brother was to be here, he would have scorned him for being in such a haggard way. 'And he would have laughed his head off if he were to know that a human made me in such a state.'
If only he could turn back the time…
'Where, the hell is she! I need to find out if it's the truth!' Akira snarled in his mind. He had to find her before he went crazy. Ever since Yukiko told him the truth between Sesshoumaru and Rin, he felt anger rising to the top of his head. He needed to find Rin and confront her. He had planned to do so last night, but Yukiko had begged him not to.
He didn't last night, but he would confront her today.
"Akira? You seemed angry. Are you alright? Where are you going?" Yukiko questioned when she spotted an angered Akira who was taking big hast steps.
"I'll not be alright until I confront Rin." he replied through his gritted fangs.
Yukiko gasped at hearing his answer and then scurried behind him. "Akira onegai! You can't confront her! Please Akira! I promised her that I won't tell a single soul!"
However no matter how much she pleaded him, it never reached his ears. His only aim was to confront her and then be done with her. He reached her chamber and slid the shoji door open. Rin turned to her back, startled by the sudden intrusion.
"Akira? Wow you're early to—"
"Actually I have a reason for being here, LADY Rin." he cut her off halfway with the sarcastic statement.
Rin looked at him in bewilderment and the shifted her gaze to Yukiko. "Yukiko, what is he blabbering?"
The dog demoness was fiddling with her kimono, not daring to look into her friend's eyes. "Rin…I…I—"
"It's ok Yukiko. I'll explain it to her." the young prince interjected again, eyeing Rin menacingly.
Yukiko grabbed his hand and caught his attention. She shook her head in protest and silent plea, but apparently Akira didn't seem to be bothered.
"Rin, I just want a straight answer from you. Do you love me or not?"
Rin stared at him blankly before plastering a seductive smile on her face. "Well it's for me to know and for you to find out." She walked to him and let her hands snake around his neck.
Akira just grabbed her by her arms and pulled her away from him. "You don't love me, do you! You were just using me to get back at Sesshoumaru! Am I right!" he yelled.
"Oh so you've found out." was all she said as she shot a glance at Yukiko. Her friend was controlling her tears and was conveying her utmost apology through her eyes. Rin just gave her a small smile, to assure her that she wasn't angry.
"So it's true? Yukiko was right all along!" he whispered harshly to her, as his grip on her arms tightened.
Rin grimaced in pain and answered haughtily, "Yes, she was right all along. In fact, I was actually thought of using you for another purpose, but I guess it's all ruined now."
"You slut!"
"Yamero Akira! That's enough! She's my friend!" Yukiko shrieked when Akira insulted Rin.
"Why, do you need a friend like her Yukiko! She's a slut who plays around with other people's feelings!"
"Why, do you need a friend like her Yukiko! She's a slut who plays around with other people's feelings!" the words kept replaying in Rin's mind. 'I AM a slut… I'm what I am because of Sesshoumaru…' Her eyes were by now glassy. Thinking of Sesshoumaru only made her insides burn with anger. She wouldn't have been in such a position if it wasn't for him to reject her.
"Whoever she is, she IS my friend. And I can't bear it if anyone, even if it is the almighty prince of the northern land insult her!" the female dog demon snarled with fire burning in her eyes.
"You're so different from Yukiko, you know that Rin? VERY different" he whispered to her in an angered tone, ignoring Yukiko.
"I know I'm different. Sometimes…I wish I was a demon like all of you…so that Sesshoumaru will claim me. Sometimes I wish I hadn't fallen in love with him. Sometimes I wish I hadn't even met him! You fucking hell wanna know Akira why I'm doing this? I want Sesshoumaru to feel what I felt during the time I was at Inuyasha's village and during the time when I was being pushed away JUST because I was a human! You think I like doing this! You think I like exposing my body like a whore to every male! I'm doing this because I want my revenge! I want him to know that he had the chance to have me for his own but now he didn't! I want him to know how it feels when he knows that I belong to him, yet I don't! I want him to realise that he loves me! I want him to know that this was the same female human he wanted ten months ago, only that she is colder now! And you know the reason why I'm doing this! BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND IT STILL HURTS INSIDE ME!" Rin yelled as tears started pouring down her cheeks continuously.
Both the dog demons stared at her, without uttering a single word. They were both too shock with Rin's outburst to say something.
Rin wept terribly as her knees buckled, causing her collapse onto the floor. She clutched onto her kimono so tightly that her knuckles turned white. After for a long time, she let her anguish out and it felt good to let it out. It felt so good to be her again, but it hurt her in the inside. There was a saying 'time heals pain', but it seemed to be a contradicting saying. Time never healed her pain. Not even by a bit.
"Rin-chan." Yukiko started after the awkward silence. She sympathized with her. 'Rin must have gone through lots of emotional turmoil, or else she wouldn't be like this.' she thought sadly.
"Just leave me be Yukiko. Just leave me be the both of you. Please."
Yukiko and Akira took a glance at each other and agreed in letting her alone. Both of them made their exit from the chamber when Rin spoke again, "Yukiko, don't be sorry. I'm not angry with you for telling Akira the truth. He ought to know one day."
Yukiko shed a few tears and nodded her head knowingly. "You can always talk to me if you want to Rin-chan. I'm always here for you." with that said the both dog demons left her chamber.
"Milord…"
"What is it Jaken? Didn't I tell you not to disturb me?" Sesshoumaru asked bluntly, his voice a little over the edge.
Sesshoumaru had locked himself in the library since the day before, after he had destroyed almost everything in his bedchamber. He tried doing his accumulated work, but he couldn't. Rin had been occupying his head almost all the time. He still hadn't overcome the pain of his heart after the 'incident' in Akira's bedchamber.
"Prince…prince…prince…" stammered the toad demon in fear. Ever since Rin came back to the palace, his lord's mood was always foul for Kami knows why.
"Do not TEST this Sesshoumaru's patience Jaken!" the Lord of the Western Land barked at his vassal.
Jaken squawked before replying immediately, "Prince Akira insists of meeting you even after I told him that milord doesn't take in any guests."
The dog demon growled under his breath just at the mention of Akira's name. 'What the hell does he want now?' he pondered. "Bring him in, Jaken."
"Y…yes milord!"
It took a minute for him to catch a whiff of Akira's scent. "Just enter." He announced out loud.
Akira, immediately after hearing his command, slid open the shoji door and entered the library, closing the door behind him.
"State your reason for this visit to this Sesshoumaru and leave." Sesshoumaru ordered curtly.
Akira curtsied politely and took a deep breath before continuing, "Lord Sesshoumaru, I, Akira will take my leave to my homeland tomorrow morning."
'What?' Did he hear right? Did Akira say that he was leaving? Was he leaving alone…or was he going to bring Rin along with him? He had given him three months time for Akira to woo Rin. It was less than three months and he wanted to go home. Did that mean…he had won her heart over? 'Why does this Sesshoumaru care? They love each other anyway.' He stated begrudgingly.
"What you do is none of my concern." was the only thing he said.
Akira chuckled at the statement he had made. "Of course I know me leaving this place doesn't concern you. But there's something which concerns you."
What could have been his concern? Then the thought hit him. Rin. 'Ok, here we go.' he stated calmly, taking in air silently. "What is it?"
Akira turned serious and looked straight into Sesshoumaru's eyes, "Lord Sesshoumaru, I, son of Katsuro, would like to claim something which is yours."
"And what would that be?" he asked softly, praying that it had got nothing to do with Rin.
Akira, as if reading the Taiyoukai's mind, chuckled and said, "Don't worry; I'm not going to snatch Rin away from you."
Sesshoumaru glared at the dog demon and gave a silent sigh of relief when he stated that he was not talking about Rin.
"Then?"
"I want to claim your servant, Yukiko, as my mate. This Akira hopes that the Lord of the Western Land will agree to his request." He announced with dignity.
'Yukiko?' He quirked his eyebrow and questioned the young prince before him, "Yukiko as your mate? But she's just a servant girl belonging from a lower caste of my clan."
"It matters not if she is a servant or not. Love is nothing about caste, race or status. It's about the matters of the heart. I care not if she's a servant or slave, as long as I love her and she me."
"I thought you love…Rin." Sesshoumaru stated not daring to look at Akira.
The prince of the North merely chuckled and replied, "So did I. I THOUGHT I loved her, but I guess I was wrong. I love Yukiko, not Rin. And besides, even if I love Rin, she wouldn't have loved me back…because she loves you."
The Taiyoukai tensed when he heard this. He did not reply Akira, but merely closed his eyes as though he was resting.
"Sesshoumaru, have a heart to heart talk with her. I know that Rin still loves you. Whatever she did with me was to get back at you. I didn't know it until last night…" he whispered with a tinge of hurt tone in it.
"…"
"If the both of you still continue to be like this, you are both hurting each other. Get done with it."
"You have my permission to claim Yukiko." Sesshoumaru answered him, not commenting on his last statement. He got up from his seat and glided out of the library.
"Sesshoumaru, talk to her or you might lose her." was the last thing the Taiyoukai heard when he exited the library.
He decreased his pace and headed towards the garden; the place which he could recall the nostalgic moments he had with Rin. Sesshoumaru, talk to her or you might lose her. Those words spoken by Akira, chanted itself in his head. He clenched his hands into fists, causing his claws to poke through his palm and draw blood. Why must his life end up this way? Didn't he deserve SOME happiness? Was he cursed? Why then, should he be treated by such a manner by the woman he loved a lot!
The frowning dog demon let out a determined sigh and placed his emotionless mask on again. Yes. He would talk to Rin and find out what she was thinking. He would tell her how he was feeling about her. He would tell her that he loves her. He would do just that, but not now. He would meet her after Akira and Yukiko left his land.
He let the smallest smile of determination to grace his lips before turning back to get back to the palace.
"Take care Rin… I'm going to miss you." Yukiko muttered, trying to control her tears from falling.
When Akira had told her that he was going to take her as his mate, she had been elated. She was so elated that she hadn't thought about the consequences of accepting his offer. And then she had felt like she had been hit on the head very hard when her soon-to-be-mate told her that they would be leaving the Western Land the next day.
"I'm going to miss you too Yukiko-chan. You'll always be my best friend no matter what happens." Rin replied as she pulled the dog demoness into a fierce hug, letting her tears down.
Unable to control her tears any longer, Yukiko wept, her body shaking violently as she embraced her friend back.
"Ok the both of you! Stop the damn crying!" Akira's voice was to be heard by the both of them. They turned and glared at him, causing him to flinch before looking back at each other. Giving a shaky smile, both of them withdrew from the embrace.
"I guess this is the time now, ne Yukiko-chan?" the human girl asked.
Nodding her head slowly and sadly, she replied, "Hai it is."
"Take care…Lady Yukiko," Rin said with her new title.
"I'll not be your friend ever again if you drop the damn formalities Rin-chan!" the dog demoness whined with her brows creased together.
"Ho, now you know how irritating it is when your best friend calls you by an honorific title!" she half said and chuckled. They gazed at each other for a moment before breaking out into fits of laughter which totally puzzled Akira.
'What's up with them? One moment they were crying, the next moment they're laughing like nut cases.' He cleared his throat catching their attention. "Yukiko, it's time to go," he stated in his pride filled voice.
Realising that it was time for departure, Yukiko's face turned into a frown before giving Rin a sad, farewell smile. "Friends forever, ne?" she questioned her in a shaky voice.
"Hai, friends forever," Rin had answered trying to keep her tears in place. She shifted her gaze from the female dog demon to Akira. She knitted her eyebrows together and then stared at the ground in embarrassment. Trudging towards him, she fiddled with her kimono in nervousness.
'Oh Kami, did I really do all THOSE things to Akira. Kissing, smooching…and other crappy stuffs?' she questioned herself. And not to mention that she did those act on her best friend's soon-to-be-mate. Never in her life had she been so embarrassed before.
Akira caught her staggering towards him and her nervousness. 'What does she want now?' He quirked his eyebrow and silently questioned her for her nervousness.
"Anou…Akira-san…I…I'm extremely sorry for my…flirtatious behaviour and all… I know it's wrong of me to use you…for my revenge but I had to. I hope you completely understand."
Giving her a small smile, he replied, "I understand you're still angry with Sesshoumaru and I know you wanted to get back at him. But it's never the right thing to fool with another person's feelings. It's a bit hard to get over this, but I want you to know something. I've already forgiven you yesterday."
Rin still had her head bowed down. She was way too embarrassed to look at him. She nodded her head slowly and turned around to make way to beside Yukiko again.
Before she even took a step forward, Akira started, "Rin, I think you should give Sesshoumaru a chance. I know he still loves you."
"I will give him a chance, but not YET," was her cold reply.
"Rin-chan, I think Akira is right. Sesshoumaru-sama loves you a lot. You haven't got any idea how much he was broken when…he caught you and Akira in Akira's chamber. For all my life I've lived here and served him, I've never seen him behave in such a manner before," Yukiko butted in, trying to put some sense in her head.
"Yukiko's right, Rin. When I went to meet him and told him I wanted to claim something which was his yesterday, he had thought it was you. I could hear his rapid heartbeat," Akira stated next.
'I know he loves me. But he hasn't confessed to me yet. I want him to and then I'll reject him so that he knows what is sheer despair is,' she vowed to herself silently. "I know what I'm doing, Akira-kun, Yukiko-chan."
Yukiko and Akira gazed at each other and sighed simultaneously. "We hope so Rin-chan. We really hope so."
Forcing a bright smile to grace on her lips, she looked at the both of them, "Don't worry, I really know what I'm doing." After that was said there was a minute or so of tensed silence.
"Ok, I think it's time for us to go Yukiko," Akira turned to Yukiko and said, breaking the tension.
"Hai," was all she said.
Rin turned her attention to Rin and gave him a stern look. "Akira, you better treat Yukiko-chan well or I would hunt you down! Is that understood?" Rin threatened him in a playful way.
Giving a dramatic gasp, he nodded his head vigorously feigning fear. "Hai Rin-sama! This Akira promises not to hurt Yukiko in ANY way!" he said as he kept his head down. Yukiko and Rin merely giggled at the mere sight. The Prince of the Northern Land joined in their laughter.
The trio was walking out of the palace to the entrance of the gate when Akira and Yukiko hesitated on their next step. They looked at each other with the same thought, 'Sesshoumaru's approaching.'
Rin was ahead of them by a few steps, but when she realised the both dog demons had stopped moving, she came to a halt too. "Why did the both of you stop? Is anything the matter?"
"Sesshoumaru-sama is coming in this direction," the female dog demon affirmed. At the mention of Sesshoumaru's name, Rin's eyes turned cold and merciless.
"It's none of my business if he's heading here or not," she muttered under her breath. She knew the both demons behind her heard her, even though it was very soft that even a ningen couldn't hear.
"Yukiko," a deep baritone voice cut through the silence in the threshold. Both Yukiko and Akira gasped in surprise and fear. Yukiko turned around to get a glimpse of the owner of the voice, though they already knew who it was.
"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama," she answered as she curtsied slightly.
The Taiyoukai walked up to her who was still bowed down for him. He held her by her shoulders and pulled her to an upright stance. "From now on, you will not bow to this Sesshoumaru; neither will you call me as your lord. You belong to the Sun clan the day Akira asked me for you. You'll be of the same status as me the moment Akira bonds you with him," he explained to her.
Yukiko gave him sincere smile and declared, "No milord. Whether I belong to the Sun clan now, you will always be my lord and I'll always be your faithful servant."
"Lord Sesshoumaru, this Akira would humbly thank you for your accommodation and I also would like to apologize for snatching what was yours during my stay here," Akira said as his eyes moving to Rin, hinting to the great Taiyoukai that he was talking about Rin.
For a moment Sesshoumaru's mask was slipped off when he followed Akira's eye contact. The sorrow and hurt he had felt for the past few days rushed into his eyes and his heart was bathed with a sudden loneliness and coldness. The dog demons caught his emotions in time before he sealed them again.
"Ok Yukiko-chan, Akira-kun it's getting late. You don't have to waste your time speaking to HIM," Rin announced and said, emphasizing the word 'him' which was referring to Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru ground his fangs together in the attempt to keep his façade. Both Yukiko and Akira stared at him sympathising for him.
"We'll take our leave now Sesshoumaru-sama," Akira announced as he held his soul mate's hand and turned around to walk. The trio continued their walk to the entrance of the palace. Once they reached their destination, Yukiko and Rin gazed at each other again before they embraced each other once more.
"Take care Rin-chan."
"You too, Yukiko-chan. AND Akira you better keep to your words!"
Akira broke into a grin, "Don't worry I will… how can I ever break my promise for my love Yukiko?"
Yukiko turned scarlet hearing his comment. She glared at him and then glanced back at Rin, "Don't worry Rin-chan. There'll be no way on earth I'll let him hurt me. It'll take a lifetime for him to hurt me."
"Wow I've gotten a feisty woman! I love feisty women!" Akira exclaimed making Yukiko to blush some more. Rin giggled non-stropping.
"Akira shut up before I change my mind of being your mate," she threatened through her gritted fangs in a dangerous tone. That did it. Akira went mum immediately.
Rin giggled as she watched the both of them squabbling. 'If only it were to be me and Sesshoumaru,' she thought. Sighing silently she looked back at the both of them.
"We'll meet each other soon Rin-chan."
"Yes we will Yukiko."
A cloud appeared under Akira's and Yukiko's feet, and lifted the both of them, making its way up to the sky. Yukiko's gaze was on Rin. 'I hope you find your happiness soon Rin-chan.' She waved her hand to Rin as a tear of sorrow ran down her cheeks. "I'm going to miss you!"
Rin did not bother to stop her tears. She just let her tears trickle down her rosy cheeks. "I'm going to miss you too!" She waved her hands back to the female dog demon. 'Yukiko's gone and I'm alone again,' Rin thought as she watched her friend and her soon-to-be-mate vanish in the clouds.
Sighing loudly she strolled back into the palace, intending to return back to her chamber. Just as she was to take a left turn to her destination, a smooth and silky voice stopped her, "Rin."
She swivelled and faced the owner of the voice-Sesshoumaru. "What is it that you want?" she retorted.
Sesshoumaru, not attempting to hide his emotions, frowned in hurt. "We need to talk," he told her swallowing down his nervousness.
"About?"
He didn't answer her, afraid that she might snap back at him. 'But I have to get the truth out from her. This Sesshoumaru doesn't want to get hurt again!' he encouraged himself. He was brought back to reality the moment Rin's cold and annoyed voice cut through the silence.
"Look, don't try wasting my time. I want to rest. What is it that you want to talk about?"
"Us."
Ok that's the end! Lols! I know it's kinda cliffy hanger, but i can't help it... Heeeees... Ok i would like to thank my reviewers so very much for reviewing. Arigato!
katana sohma-demon girl
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Ok i don't know when i'll update next. But i'll try my best to update as soon as possible ne? Sorry for taking a long time to update! Please Read and Review okies!
