Disclaimer: I don't own the Oregon Trail computer game.
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Chloe watches her father and Scully interact with each other as they drive to the airport the day after the funeral. She can tell her mother is simply trying to keep a straight face, but notices the reassuring touches and glances her father gives the woman. Part of her wonders if this is how her grandparents stopped talking to her dad. Being so caught up in their loss that they forget about their son? She wants to ask, but knows it is an inopportune time. Instead she sits back as the trio stays silent the entire way back to D.C. and Mulder's apartment.
Tired from the journey once she is back home, Chloe immediately heads to bed leaving the adults in the room alone. Scully sits on the couch numb as her partner goes to unpack his suitcase. The red head continues to tell herself she helps Emily by letting her die, but still feels guilty. Standing from the sofa, the woman walks over to the teen's open doorway and watches Chloe sleep. Scully wants to be alone, but cannot stand the thought of being away from another daughter.
Seeing his partner in his daughter's doorway, Mulder tries not to startle the woman as he asks, "You okay?"
Nodding, Scully whispers, "Fine."
Knowing not to push her, the man replies, "You can take my room tonight. Be closer to Chloe?"
The red head nods as her partner sets himself up on the couch. Walking in his room to grab pajamas, Mulder notices his partner curled up in his bed. Figuring she is asleep the man begins to leave when Scully calls out his name. Hearing the raw emotion come from the woman, Mulder goes over to the side of the bed and sits down. Brushing back his partner's hair, he sees the pain in her eyes.
"Mulder–"
She does not have to finish whatever sentence she tries to say. Instinctively, the man gets in bed and holds his partner as she begins to softly cry. Through the funeral, plane ride, and drive home the red head keeps control of her sorrow for Chloe's sake. With only her and Mulder, the stoicism falls away.
At a loss for words, Mulder simply holds his partner wondering how he can help her. After a moment, the man asks softly, "What can I do?"
The red head says nothing as she wipes her tears away.
"You're doing it," Scully mumbles caught in her self pity. After a while, she says, "I almost had it, Mulder."
"What?"
"A child. I could've had it. Had her," The red head replies hoarsely. Rubbing circles on her back, Mulder says nothing knowing he cannot keep her from thinking about her lost daughter. Instead, he says, "I miss her, too."
"Thank- you," Scully murmurs. Whether for his statement or coming to help her, Mulder is unsure, but replies, "Anytime."
As he lays in his bed comforting his partner, the man refuses to admit he wishes Emily to be alive just as much as she does. The three year old turns into his own child over the course of a couple days, and he feels the loss as deeply as his partner. Hearing the woman's breathing even out, Mulder unwraps his arms and gets ready for bed knowing his and Scully's relationship is deeper than it has ever been. He cares for the red head more than is healthy for two co- workers, but after Emily's death he knows he will do anything for her.
Getting up to get a drink of water, Chloe stops in the hall when she hears Scully say, "'I could've had it. Had her.'"
Hanging her head, the teen goes back to her room overhearing enough of the adult's conversation.
Going back to work right after Emily's funeral, Scully engrosses herself in keeping her partner safe as they catch a former convict who may still want to control her partner's mind. Once the case is over, the pathologist goes to her partner's apartment to check on him.
"Scully!" Mulder says in surprise once he opens the door.
"Hey, Mulder. How did your talk with Skinner go? You never came back to the office."
"Yeah," The man says rubbing his neck as he lets his partner in. "The Skinman congratulated me."
Raising her eyebrows in surprise, the red head asks, "What made him do that?"
"No idea," Mulder states. "He just congratulated me on catching our suspect."
"Okay," Scully replies before asking, "Where's Chloe?"
"In her room. She's currently playing Oregon Trail and is determined to beat the game before school starts back."
Raising her eyebrow, Scully asks, "How long has she been playing?"
"Since I got home."
"Mulder, that's two hours," The red head admonishes adding, "You gave her a limit of half an hour."
"I know, but she's been really quiet the last couple weeks, and I just need to see her happy about something."
Sighing, Scully asks, "Has she had dinner yet?"
"No, I was just about to start cooking when you came by. I'm making Chloe's favorite since she's going back to school tomorrow. Wanna stay?" Mulder asks. Nodding, his partner gives the man a small smile before heading to Chloe's room. Knocking on the door, Scully asks, "Can I come in?"
"Sure," The teen replies. Sitting on the girl's bed, the woman watches her play Oregon Trail before asking, "What did you do at my mom's last week?"
Shrugging, Chloe replies, "What we normally do. She wants you to see her, by the way."
Unsure how to answer, Scully asks, "Are you okay?"
"Fine," Chloe replies not looking from the computer.
"You're going to turn into The Gunmen," Scully tries to joke wondering why the teen is being so distant. Realizing she is not going to break through the thirteen year old's barriers, Scully stands and crosses over to the desk chair.
"You have ten more minutes," The red head says before kissing the girl on the head.
"Whatever," Chloe mumbles causing Scully to look at the teen curiously wondering what she is doing. Hurt at her daughter's attitude, Scully goes to the bedroom door.
"I love you," The red head states before leaving the teenager's room.
Distracted, Scully enters the dining area and grabs her purse. She has no idea why her daughter is dismissing her, but does not really want to discuss the issue. Wondering about his friend's actions, Mulder asks where she is going. Shaking her head, the woman replies, "I think I'm going to let you and Chloe have the night to yourselves tonight."
Before he can ask any more, Mulder watches as his partner leaves the apartment.
The next morning, Chloe merely smiles as she sits in the car with Anna as Rachel drives them to school. Remembering Scully's daughter, the thirteen year old tries not to wince at Ben's singing a made- up song to himself while he sits in his car seat.
"You okay?" Anna asks her friend worriedly. Not wanting to talk about Emily, Chloe merely nods. Still worried, Anna asks, "Are you sure?"
"I'm fine," The brunette stresses trying to block out the image she has of Emily watching television in her hospital bed.
"Okay," Anna whispers wondering what is actually wrong with her friend.
At lunch, the teen listens to Kyle and Anna trade stories about how annoying their brothers are. Used to the stories, Chloe usually sits entertained, but leaves the table instead and goes to the office.
In his own office, Mulder mulls over his daughter's behavior over the last couple weeks remembering his partner's behavior the day before. As he wonders how to begin a conversation regarding the incident with his partner, his phone rings. Just as he finishes the call, Scully walks in giving the man an eyebrow raise questioning who is on the other line.
"That was Chloe," Mulder says once he hangs up the phone. "She wants to come home from school, but I asked her to try and stay the rest of the day."
"Is she okay?" Scully asks as she sits in her seat in front of her partner's desk.
"I think she's still having trouble with San Diego," Mulder replies careful not to say the three year old's name.
"How–" Scully begins. Shaking his head, Mulder replies, "I don't know. I'm surprised you're at work to be honest."
"I had a couple weeks to grieve, Mulder," Scully states looking down at her hands. Both adults know the excuse is flimsy. Trying to get his partner to look at him, Mulder stares at the woman's head for a moment.
"I loved her, too," The man says softly causing his partner to look at him with questioning eyes. Taking a breath, Mulder finally explains, "I felt the same things you did trying to protect her. Scully, I may have said she wasn't meant to be, but maybe she was? Maybe that little girl was meant to bring you closer to the truth."
"The truth? Mulder, the truth was was that my ova were being used as an experiment. The only thing that little girl did was remind me what I'll never get to have!"
"And what's that?" Mulder challenges wondering if his partner is finally at the anger stage of the grieving process. Her steely gaze is his only answer as the red head grabs her purse and leaves the office. Sighing, the man puts his head in his hands wondering what sort of rift he causes now.
"Dad, how did you feel when your sister got taken?" Chloe asks softly as she and her father sit on the couch that night. Shocked by the question, Mulder thinks for a moment. His daughter's situation is completely different from his own. He feels responsible and sad. However, curious about his daughter, the father asks, "How do you feel?"
"Sad, I guess. I keep thinking what it would've been like to have her around. Say if Scully picked me up from school and then we had to get Emily?"
"Yeah?" Mulder asks replying cautiously, "I sometimes wonder about me and Samantha. She was a brat, but I loved her. I remember one time my mom made me play tea party with her when my friends were going to shoot off a rocket. I was so mad."
"Did you get out of it?" Chloe questions eager to know about her father's childhood. Shaking his head, Mulder shrugs.
"The guys got found by the cops and sent home, so that was good on my end. She made it up to me by making me an ice cream sundae when our parents were asleep." The father remembers. "Speaking of sleep, you need to head to bed. It's late."
"Dad? Do I really have to go to school tomorrow? I don't know if I can handle hearing about Anna and Kyle's brothers."
Nodding, Mulder replies, "I know it's tough, but hiding isn't going to help anything."
From personal experience, the agent knows hiding only makes the pain worse. Sighing, Chloe begins to get off the couch before asking, "Why didn't you stay with Mom at the hospital?"
"I had to help Emily," The father replies simply. Nodding, the teen asks, "Would you do that for me? Protect Emily like you did?"
Shocked by the question, Mulder says, "What makes you think that?"
"It's just you had this look on your face before you left the hospital like you would've hurt anyone that came close to her. I haven't seen that face before," Chloe says softly. She knows her father loves her, but since the child is Scully's, the teen has her doubts about the adults' caring about her like they do the three year old.
"That's because you're the one I make that face about," Mulder says adding, "I would be devastated if anything happened to you. You, Chloe Samantha mean more to me than anything. I would do whatever I could to keep you safe. Why do you think I ship you off to Anna's or Maggie's?"
Okay with the answer, the brunette kisses her father in the cheek before saying, "Night, Dad. I love you."
"You, too," Mulder replies wondering if a session with a psychiatrist will not be beneficial to both of them.
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