Recap: Hiei had some strange déjà vu moments, he went to an ironic meeting in demon world and then he scoured Hitoshi's mind for some answers and stole a video from Koto's archive.


Chapter 28: Coffee and TV

"You never change. You were a strange little punk the first time I met you, and you're still unpredictable and odd. Where the hell have you been?"

"Never mind about that, it's not important."

Yusuke arched his eyebrows and Hiei turned away to avoid having to look at him.

"I've asked the others to postpone the meeting until tomorrow morning," Yusuke offered. "Think you can manage that? Without randomly running off, I mean."

"Fine," Hiei lied.

He had no intention of faking his way through a meeting about demon world politics he knew nothing about, especially as they concerned an area of land he did not even want to think about, and the issue was one from the paradise reality that he had no clue about. He was going to need the next day alone anyway to watch the video he had stolen from the archive library. He had always wondered exactly what that idiot Hitoshi had said that was so wonderful it had managed to stop a three-way world war and he was determined to find out. It had to be something quite spectacular, and he wondered if hearing the famous speech might change his opinion of diplomats in general.

"It won't take long, Hiei," Yusuke said.

Hiei sighed. They had, for reasons Hiei could not really fathom, hitched a ride with the border patrol back to a portal to living world that was close to their destination there. It was a welcome rest for Hiei, who was starting to feel the need for another coffee, but it was also a strain, as it forced him to converse with Yusuke, who was sat next to him, and apparently determined to discuss that absurd meeting about that valley.

"It's pretty straightforward," Yusuke added. "We should just put out a notice on the emergency broadcast channel that we're filling in the valley and then just do it. Anyone who doesn't evacuate gets what's coming to them."

"You can't evict refugees from a camp of relative safety and immunity without giving them at least 28 days' notice," Hiei said. "And if you do go ahead and blast those rocks into the valley you risk acting in breach of the mutually agreed civil rights' bill and you could cause a major backlash of resentment that could put civilians in a lot more danger than a gathering of some rogue, petty thieves ever could. Not to mention the proximity of the valley to your own headquarters: it wouldn't be wise to act so rashly without full consultation with the relevant representatives of the local communities."

"Um… Okay…" Yusuke said slowly. "Well thanks for that, Kurama."

"What?"

Hiei turned his head sharply, glowering at Yusuke: but as he saw the look on Yusuke's face and considered the exchange that had just passed between them, Hiei soon found himself feeling as though he had just listened to lecture on morals from Kurama, and he found no more reason to argue with Yusuke's remark.

"I guess your lessons are paying off now, huh?" Yusuke asked him.

"Lessons?" Hiei echoed.

"Your lessons," Yusuke said. "You said you were learning more about leadership, and politics and shit so that you'll be ready to take over from Mukuro. She's retiring once your kids grow up, isn't she?"

"She… Um…"

Hiei tried to look as though he understood and accepted what Yusuke had just said, but inside he was floundering. Yusuke had said very little, but every word he had spoken had been deeply significant. Hiei had no idea that life in paradise was quite that complex: but more concerning than that, a part of his mind was still reeling off reasons why Hokushin's plan to fill the valley were wrong. He could hear laws, political considerations and potential implications rattling around his brain, and although he had no understanding of what they were, he seemed to understand how they applied to the situation at hand.

"Oh, fuck…" he grumbled, as realisation finally dawned upon him. "Lessons on politics… With Hitoshi?"

"Yeah, that was part of it, wasn't it?" Yusuke said with a shrug.

Just like the moment he had watched Botan produce those fluffy fox ears from the bag earlier that morning, Hiei was starting to think that his brain was slowly being taken over by that other Hiei: and now his head was full of the thought processes of a diplomat, which could only be the result of the "lessons" that other Hiei had apparently been attending with Hitoshi.

"You okay?" Yusuke asked him.

"Sure, why not?" Hiei replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"…You're still a strange little punk…" Yusuke muttered.


Paradise was, by far, a superior existence: but sometimes, it was a very confusing and surreal one. As they arrived at the kindergarten, Yusuke, Keiko and Hiei moved over to a table serving refreshments, where Hiei quickly helped himself to four cups of coffee, balancing two in each hand and ignoring the way the other humans eyed him over curiously as he passed them. Near the back of the room they were all gathered in, Hiei could see several things he thought he might never grow accustomed to: Kuwabara was patiently palming off a group of giggling women who kept asking to have their photograph taken with him, Yukina – still dressed in rather stylish human clothing – had her nose stuck in a book littered with foreign text, Botan – of course increasingly noticeably pregnant with Hiei's second son, and, despite their conversation that morning, dressed quite conservatively – was enthusiastically talking at Maya about something and Kurama was standing with his back against the wall, glaring darkly across the room at Hiei with a look that could probably have killed a lesser being in an instant.

Hiei quickly finished off two of his cups of coffee before starting towards Botan, who was far too busy talking to Maya about flowers to notice his approach. He could feel Kurama's eyes burning into him as he walked but Hiei kept his eyes on his wife, hoping that Kurama would act predictably: it was not like Kurama to report anyone for anything, rather he preferred to back them into a corner and force them to confess for themselves, something he considered to be a favour to the guilty party, as he thought it gave them a sense of pride by allowing them to confront their own demons. Whilst Hiei appreciated Kurama's logic – the same logic that had seen Hiei destroy the Chapter Black video when he had finally gotten his hands on it – he was not about to succumb to it now.

Hiei stopped abruptly, his eyes widening as he felt a small tug on his sweater. He subtly touched his hands to his sides, his eyes narrowing again and a small frown playing on his features as he felt two video cases concealed in his clothing instead of just the one he had taken from demon world. He slowly moved his eyes to his side, his head turning slightly later, and unsurprisingly, he found himself looking into a pair of sceptical and mildly intimidating green eyes.

"A little gift," Kurama said to him in a low voice. "Something I think you should consider. I don't know if you're the same Hiei I shared a conversation about alternate realities with on the roof of Genkai's temple a few weeks ago, but whether you are or not is irrelevant: clearly you are not the Hiei of this reality, and that is about all that I need to know. Hopefully you are still a Hiei who has a sense of honour. Consider what I've given you to be a test of your own integrity."

"What is it?" Hiei asked him.

"You'll find out when you open it," Kurama quietly replied. "Which, incidentally, I suggest you do somewhere quite discreet. It does not belong to me and I will be obliged to return it eventually due to its value and origin. But for now it's something I would like you to spend some time acquainting yourself with."

Hiei wanted to ask Kurama what the hell it was: it felt like it was the same size and shape as the video he had taken from demon world, and his initial thought was that it was just another video. But if it was just a video, what could it possibly be a video of, why was it so important and where had it come from that Kurama would have to return it?

"Hey, Botan," Yusuke said, appearing suddenly behind Hiei. "How long 'til this thing kicks off?"

Botan ran her eyes over him with an air of despondency before answering.

"They're opening the doors for us to take our seats in five minutes, Yusuke," she said firmly.

"So… Do I have time for a shit first?" Yusuke asked her.

"Yusuke!" Keiko snapped.

"What?" he yelped, shrugging defensively. "I did a lot of running this morning and then I had to sit on one of those hard bug-things with the border patrol, I need to take a dump!"

"…The toilets are back that way," Keiko said quietly. "But be quick – and remember to wash your hands!"

"Gees, I'm not a kid!"

Yusuke started to leave, and, without giving the implications of his words any thought, Hiei started after him, blurting out his excuse as he went.

"I'm going with him, I need to do this too," he said.

Yusuke looked back over his shoulder, his dark eyes wide in alarm as they met Hiei's.

"You're uh… Coming to the toilet with me, Hiei?" he asked.

Hiei started to realise how odd his words and actions probably seemed but he did his best to keep his panic from showing.

"I need to… Shit too," he lied.

Yusuke nodded, his face softening as he seemingly accepted Hiei's excuse. Together they continued on and into the restroom, where Yusuke promptly started complaining about the size of the toilets and adding something about how he should have been allowed access to the staff facilities before shutting himself into one of the small cubicles. Hiei copied his actions, closing himself into a cubicle and quickly lifting up his sweater to retrieve the two items hidden underneath it. One was, of course, the video he had taken from demon world, which he placed down on the cistern whilst he examined the second item.

"This is so stupid!" Yusuke grumbled.

Hiei glanced at the partition that separated them.

"I can only fit one cheek on this toilet, how the hell am I supposed to aim anything down it?"

Hiei shook his head and lowered his eyes to the item in his hand again. It was in fact another video, though not in the same black glossy box as the one from demon world was, rather it was in a plain white box with some writing on the spine. The writing was merely a date, and removing the video from the box told Hiei no more about the contents, as the video cassette itself had only a sticker with the same date written on it.

"Fuck," he muttered, pushing the cassette back into the box.

"I know!" Yusuke said. "Are they taking the piss with these things? You think it's bad, I'm a lot bigger than you, how do you think it is for me trying to balance on this stupid little thing?"

Hiei rolled his eyes and began concealing the videos under his sweater again. As he arranged his clothes around them to conceal their presence a thought occurred to him: the white box that other video had come in did look slightly familiar.

"Hey, Yusuke?" he said.

"What?" Yusuke responded.

"Are all the videos from the spirit world vault in white boxes?"

"Uh… Yeah, I guess so."

Hiei nodded slowly. He had absolutely no idea why Kurama would have taken a video from spirit world – least of all one that was, according to the date on the spine, some eight years old – but if it really was from spirit world, Kurama's need to return it at least made sense. And he must have stolen it, Hiei thought, which was also quite interesting.

"Yusuke?"

"What?"

"How long does this "play" last?"

"I dunno. Half an hour? Or until one of the kids pisses himself, or starts to cry, I guess."

"…Great…"

Hiei left the cubicle and started towards the door out of the toilets, ignoring Yusuke's excuses called after him about his delay being down to the miniscule, child-sized toilet slowing him down. As he passed the mirrors of the very small, very low down, sinks, Hiei watched his reflection, feeling mildly concerned when he saw that his eyebrows seemed to be settling at an unusual angle, his eyelids looked droopier than usual and there was a faint shadow appearing beneath his eyes. He supposed it was just signs of exhaustion: caffeine worked brilliantly at making him feel alert no matter how tired he was, but he had noticed that it peaked his energy levels for only a brief time before they dropped drastically, leaving him feeling even more exhausted than before.

But as long as he stayed in paradise, he had no other choice.

Staying injured and awake had been relatively easy in the near-miss reality because he had stayed fully dressed, and so his wound had been well concealed, and he had done very little to exhaust himself physically, so missing out on sleep had been easier: but in paradise, where he had a concerned wife constantly undressing him and questioning the wound he had to be more careful, only inflicting enough damage to keep himself injured for a day or so at a time, and travelling between realms and training was ten times harder when it was not accompanied by the usual naps Hiei liked to take throughout the day. The phrase "what price paradise" came to mind, and for some reason, Hiei found himself associating the phrase with Kurama and Kuwabara.

Hiei paused in the hall outside of the room the other parents were gathered in. He briefly entertained the idea that inter-reality travel was starting to make him more insane than the Shuichi of the norm reality, the evidence of this mounting with every passing event he experienced and every bizarre thought that popped up unbidden in his mind.

"Hiei!" Botan called out to him, beckoning to him to join her and smiling at him in way that promptly made all concerns evaporate from his mind.

He moved over to join her, allowing her to wind one of her arms around his and kiss him on the cheek. Together they moved to join the stream of bodies flowing through a double doorway into a hall of sorts, and Hiei found himself thinking something else that seemed like an unnatural observation for his mind to make.

"The other children only have their parents and their siblings here," he said. "Why does my son have an entire entourage here?"

Botan giggled at his question whilst Hiei wondered why he had even noticed as much: though it was odd that so many of their friends were there, he thought, especially Yusuke, Keiko, Kurama and Maya. At least Kuwabara and Yukina were family.

Hiei's top lip curled involuntarily: when had he started thinking about Kuwabara as family?

"Everyone wanted to see Monzan in his costume," Botan eventually answered him as they began moving along a row of seats. "And he does look adorable."

Hiei did not particularly like the idea of his son being paraded around in front of other humans – and more especially in front of Yusuke and Kurama – dressed as some sort of human world animal cub, but he had already decided to tolerate it, partly to educate himself on what sort of life his son led in the living world. Botan had implied that she spoiled him and made him soft, and although Hiei was quite impressed with what he had seen of her mothering skills so far, he was concerned that she was, in some areas at least, being a little too lax with the boy.

The "play" was mercifully brief, and Monzan – dressed as what looked like a polar bear with a horse's tail and fox's ears – was only on stage briefly to speak a line of the story being told. Hiei thought that the boy had done as he was meant to, since he had walked in on cue and said his line without hesitation or stammering like most of the other children had, but apparently he had messed up somehow, because Botan started to get teary-eyed as he delivered his line, and she stood up and clapped a little too enthusiastically when it was over. Everyone began leaving the hall again and Hiei instinctively followed Yukina, who had been sat next to him, only noticing that Botan was not with him once he was on the street outside.

"Wasn't Mon-Mon so cute?" Yukina asked him as he looked about for any sign of Botan.

"I got it all on video," Kuwabara added.

"Let's watch it when we get home!" Yukina suggested.

Hiei turned to his sister then, staring at her incredulously, only feeling all the more amazed when he saw that she was apparently quite serious about her ludicrous suggestion.

"We can watch it now, look," Kuwabara said to her, opening out part of the camera.

Hiei almost fell over when the others all gathered around a small screen replaying what they had just spent the last half an hour watching live. He was exceptionally glad that mere seconds later Botan exited the kindergarten with Monzan at her side, still in costume, holding her hand. She was still sniffling and Monzan looked worried, which in Hiei's mind confirmed that the boy had messed up somehow.

"Wasn't that wonderful?" she asked him as she joined him.

"…Sure…" he lied.

"Wasn't Monzan the best in the show?" she asked, smiling down at Monzan.

"Um…"

Botan started to give Hiei a questioning look but he was saved the bother of having to answer her when Monzan started pulling off his fox ears.

"Don't lose those if you take them off now," she warned him.

"But they make me itchy," Monzan moaned, pulling the ears off regardless.

"Hey, gimme those," Yusuke said.

Monzan obediently handed the fox ears to Yusuke, who took them and promptly forced them onto Kurama, who merely tensed slightly until he had finished his task.

"Look Monzan, it's Youko Kurama!" Yusuke said, pointing at Kurama. "Do the face," he added under his breath, elbowing Kurama.

Kurama pulled a pained expression for a moment before baring his teeth and making a growling noise. Monzan started to laugh and clap his hands and Kurama let out a small sigh before removing the ears again.

And again Hiei felt another overwhelming sense of déjà vu. By Monzan's reaction to what had just happened, it was obviously a game Yusuke and Kurama played with him in the paradise reality, but the sight of Kurama wearing the fake, furry fox ears and making a stupid growling noise was so familiar in Hiei's mind it felt like a moment of history repeating itself: which again left him wondering if assimilation in another reality was actually possible. Maybe he was starting to acquire some of that other Hiei's memories, and maybe if he could acquire more, he could stabilise his presence in paradise and no longer have to keep wounding himself.

Hiei did wonder about the logic behind what seemed to be happening, but he decided that maybe it was just that he would be able to stay in the paradise reality because it was where he belonged, it was the direction his life was supposed to have taken, and all those other realities had merely been jokes and mistakes.

"Okay, I think that's enough excitement for tonight," Botan said. "Home?" she asked Monzan.

"Aren't we going for a few drinks now?" Yusuke asked, looking around the others.

"No," Hiei answered him before anyone else could.

Yusuke gave him a flat look but Hiei turned his back on him.

"I'll just see you in the morning then," Yusuke called after him. "We need to finish off what we didn't do today in demon world."

Hiei waved a hand by his shoulder but did not bother turning around. He was not exactly relishing the thought of returning to the meeting he had fled from that morning to debate over something he barely understood the origins of, but he also knew that it was one of the downsides of living in paradise, and frankly a small price to pay for the luxurious life that it allowed him to live. And hopefully, he thought to himself, he might acquire more of that other Hiei's memories before the next morning and be better prepared for the reconvened meeting.

Hiei paused as he realised that following Botan and Monzan had led him to Kuwabara's car, the sight of which still made him feel strangely uneasy, as it was one of the few things that only existed in paradise.

"We might have enough time to watch a cartoon on the way home!" Botan said to Monzan.

"I'll meet you there," Hiei said.

He turned and took off, Botan's cry of his name fading rapidly as he left her far behind him. Not only was he not really comfortable sitting in that car again, but the thought of doing so whilst Monzan squealed over another idiotic animated presentation was too much to bear. He decided to instead just get home, open his wound a little more and redress it before Botan and Monzan returned and then get Botan to make him some extra strong coffee. After that he intended to fake falling asleep with her and then sneak out to somewhere where he could watch the two videos he was still carrying.


After much sneaking about the old lady's temple after he was sure that Yukina and Kuwabara had gone to bed, Hiei eventually located a television and video player in the basement – along with the strange collection of gaming machines the old lady had kept down there. He had not wanted to risk watching the videos in his own house: the video he had stolen from demon world was not something he was worried about being caught watching, but as he had no idea what the video Kurama had given him might contain – and especially since he suspected it to be from spirit world – he did not want to risk anyone walking in on him watching it, least of all Botan.

Hiei suspected that the video Kurama had given him was going to contain something that would either make even Botan suspicious of Hiei's presence in the paradise reality or else that it contained something Kurama hoped would make Hiei leave. Hiei supposed that Kurama probably understood his conscience better than anyone else, so it was likely to be something designed to make him feel guilty: all the more reason why he could not risk being caught watching it.

And so Hiei set aside the video from demon world and instead loaded the video Kurama had given him into the video player first before sitting down onto the ground in front of the television expectantly. When the opening sequence showed a series of increasingly ridiculous opening logos for "Koenma Productions", all doubts about the origin of the video were vanquished from Hiei's mind. He had thought that the stupid opening sequence had been ludicrous, but when it was merely followed by what appeared to be a blue-tone security tape of Koenma's (empty) office, the whole thing seemed even more absurd. A string of numbers in one corner of the screen confirmed that the video was of the same date marked on the label on the cassette and the spine of the video case, and apart from the ticking clock by that date, nothing on the screen was moving.

Hiei started to wonder if perhaps the video would contain some sort of subliminal message, and he wondered if he ought to just destroy it: though hypnosis was not a tactic Kurama was known for employing. However, before he could make up his mind about destroying the video, something moved by the top of the screen, the office doors opening, and Koenma walked into the room ahead of a bumbling blue ogre.

"That was awful! Next time when I order peppermint tea, I expect it to be hot!" the little brat said.

"I'm so sorry Sir," the ogre said pitifully. "I had to queue so long to collect your food order, the tea had started to turn cold–"

"No excuses, ogre!" Koenma snapped.

"I'm sorry Sir. Oh, and Miss Botan wants to see you about something as soon as you're free."

Even though he was watching the conversation through a television, Hiei could feel the tension that started to build in Koenma's office after the ogre's last words.

"Why didn't you tell me that before I went for lunch?" Koenma asked quietly.

"Well, because you said thinking about Miss Botan gives you indigestion, Sir," the ogre replied.

"I said thinking about Botan makes my heart yearn, idiot!"

"Oh… I thought you said thinking about Miss Botan gave you heart burn, Sir…"

Koenma kicked over a potted plant – which was actually quite a feat for a toddler – and then disappeared off-camera for several seconds. When he returned he was suddenly in his adult form. He sat down behind his desk and produced a hand mirror from a drawer at his side, preoccupying himself with primping his hair.

"Are you ready to see her now, Lord Koenma?" the ogre asked.

"I'll call her myself when I'm ready," Koenma replied, his eyes never moving from his reflection. "You get out of here, I don't need you hanging around ruining my chances."

"Oh, are you going to ask Miss Botan to be your wife again?"

Koenma slammed the mirror down onto his desk, jerking slightly when it shattered. The glare he gave the ogre was, Hiei supposed, about as intimidating as such a limp-wristed, pretty-boy diplomat could manage, and the ogre was suitably terrified, issuing a serious of apologies and bowing his way out of the office. Once he was gone Koenma sighed, pushing the shards of broken mirror away from himself with the remains of the mirror handle. He took several deep breaths before removing his pacifier and placing it to one side and then pushing a button on his desk.

"Botan, report Lord Koenma's office," he said.

Hiei quirked an eyebrow as he watched the idiotic prince of spirit world proceed to pass the next few minutes by jumping through a range of positions in his chair, presumably trying to find what he thought was the best one to greet Botan's entrance with. Hiei started to wonder if this video was meant to be a comedy: maybe Kurama had given it to him to amuse him and welcome him to the paradise reality.

"Lord Koenma, Sir," Botan said, walking through the doors of the office as Koenma was between poses.

She tilted her head slightly and gave him a strange look before banishing her oar and moving to stand in front of his desk.

"I need to discuss something very important with you, Sir," she said.

Hiei could not tell if she was ignoring Koenma's awkwardness out of politeness or if she genuinely did not notice it.

"Of course, Botan," Koenma answered her. "You know you can always talk to me about anything any time you want to."

Hiei clenched his fists as he saw the way Koenma looked up at Botan standing before him. It was the same look he gave her back in the norm reality when he had been purporting to be her future husband. In fact, Hiei thought with a slightly sickening unease, it was the same look Koenma had given him when he had asked after Botan, right before Hiei had confessed to letting the rock monster kill her: apparently the little brat had been lusting after his favourite ferry girl a lot longer than even Botan realised.

"Oh dear, a broken mirror!" Botan said, pointing at the reflective shards on Koenma's desk. "That's a portent of bad luck!"

"…The ogre broke it with his ugly face," Koenma replied, sounding momentarily like he was back in his toddler form. "So you wanted to see me about something?"

"Yes Sir, I did. You remember that we spoke some time ago about how it may one day be possible for me to retire from my duties as a ferry girl and become a spirit, and live anywhere of my choosing?" Botan said carefully.

Koenma smirked slightly before pretending to look serious.

"Yes, of course I remember," he said to her. "We spoke about that when I asked you to think about becoming my wife."

"Yes, I know, Sir," she said, looking down at her sleeve-covered hands and fidgeting slightly. "And do you also remember what I told a few months ago, about Hiei?"

Hiei sat forwards, his interest in the video suddenly peaked.

"Um…" Koenma began, his face darkening and his jaw squaring in evident displeasure. "You've told me a lot of things about Hiei this last year or so. Which one in particular are you referring to this time?"

"That he asked me to marry him?" Botan replied.

"…How could I forget?" Koenma growled, sitting back hard in his chair, his face suddenly stern. "A former criminal and murderous S class demon asking one of spirit world's kindest and gentlest ferry girls to be his wife: it's not exactly something I've been able to overlook."

"Well the thing is Sir, he asked me again last night," Botan said.

"Would you like me to deploy the SDF to deal with this?"

"No, of course not, Sir!"

"Because I have the power to get that done."

"No, Sir, you don't understand: I'm not complaining. Quite the opposite, in fact… Hiei asked me to marry him and I said yes… Lord Koenma Sir…"

Koenma visibly twitched but said nothing.

"And I was wondering if that offer of retiring from my duties as a ferry girl was still open to me," Botan continued. "I'm especially interested in the part where I become human for ten years, because you did say that during that time I can have children, and I would want to at least have–"

Botan stopped abruptly as Koenma slammed a fist onto his desk, the remains of his hand mirror jumping into the air before falling back again with a clatter.

"I don't approve of this, Botan," he said in a low voice. "You know I don't. I never have. I told you as much the first time you told me he was showing an interest in you. I don't approve of you getting involved with him, I don't approve of you giving up your duties as a ferry girl to become his wife and frankly I draw the line at procreation. You're a spirit, Botan, and Hiei is a demon. Do you understand the differences between the two of you?"

"…No I don't understand," Botan flatly replied. "I've only been ferrying souls from the living world since the days when there were no barriers between demon world and the other worlds, I've only been recovering the souls of those possessed, influenced or even just acquainted with demons for several hundred years and I only worked on a few cases as Yusuke's assistant when he was spirit detective. Please Sir, do enlighten me: what are the differences between a spirit and a demon?"

Hiei smirked smugly to himself as he watched Koenma's face twist in increasing outrage at Botan's blatant and unashamed sarcasm.

"I'm not denying that you're a hard worker, Botan," Koenma said slowly. "Nor am I denying that you're knowledgeable about demons. What does concern me is that you tend to see the best in people, and I'm worried that you've forgotten how we came to know Hiei in the first place. You do remember that he was a criminal, who broke into my vault, killing guards in the process, and he stole one of spirit world's treasures, which he used against Keiko Yukimura and he then tried to bribe Yusuke into surrendering the other two items to him. He tried to kill Yusuke and he nearly killed you when you were forced to protect Keiko."

"That was a long time ago, Sir," Botan plainly replied. "And it was your idea that Hiei and Kurama should help out Yusuke and Kuwabara on any missions you assigned."

"Yes, but Hiei has never really lost that harsh and cruel edge to his personality," Koenma said. "Kurama may have mellowed since merging with Shuichi, but Hiei is still 100 percent demon and still 100 percent unreliable and 100 percent unpredictable. He didn't even want to help out on the last mission you did together. And, more importantly, because he still thinks and acts like the demon that he is, he won't ever treat you the way your friends in spirit world and the living world do."

"…What are you trying to say to me, Sir?"

"I'm trying to tell you that he will hurt you. Physically and mentally."

"You're wrong."

"I wish I was, but I know that I'm not. Once he gets what he wants from you, he will hurt and discard you. And when he's taking what he wants, he won't be gentle about that, either."

"You're wrong. You don't understand at all. I'm going to retire from my duties here and become a spirit, and I'm doing it so that I can marry Hiei. If you won't help me with this, I'll just go directly to King Enma with my case."

Koenma visibly squirmed before picking up his pacifier and sticking it back into his mouth. Hiei almost wanted to laugh – the sight of the adult form Koenma acting so childish, resorting to sucking on his pacifier when he wanted to sulk, was beyond ridiculous.

"I don't recommend that you go directly to my father," he eventually said. "If you go over my head with this, it will be seen as insubordination and you won't stand a chance of getting what you want."

"Then stop being so difficult," Botan replied, crossing her arms stubbornly. "Help me. We've always been good friends and I've always helped you whenever you needed me to."

"I'm trying to be a "good friend" to you now, Botan," Koenma answered her. "I'm trying, as kindly as I can, to warn you that Hiei will hurt you."

"And I'm trying, as kindly as I can, to tell you that you don't know what you're talking about, Sir."

Botan had perhaps said "Sir" a little too harshly and Hiei silently wondered how much longer her boss was going to sit and listen to her talk down to him the way she was.

"Botan, please," Koenma began. "I don't think you understand the physical nature of a demon's desires–"

"Oh, you're talking about sex now?" Botan interrupted him. "Well that's a little rude, don't you think? And it's hardly any of your business."

"I'm not trying to pry," Koenma replied. "I'm trying to protect you from the violent ways of a demon."

"And that proves that you don't understand at all, because Hiei is not "violent" towards me," Botan said in a low voice. "Quite the opposite, in fact – not that it's any of your business."

"Well actually, I… Wait, what?"

The look on Koenma's face was literally priceless. Of all the treasures and riches Hiei had stolen in his life, all dulled in comparison to the sight of that brat – who had underestimated him for years and, in the norm reality, stolen Botan from him – reeling in shock.

"Are you telling me that you've already…?" Koenma asked, looking like he might cry as he spoke. "With… With Hiei?"

Botan nodded and Koenma made a noise that sounded like a rat demon sneezing out a part of its digestive system.

"So you see Sir, you've misunderstood," Botan said gently. "Hiei and I are in love, and we intend to get married. If you won't give me your blessing and help me leave spirit world, I am going to "go over your head" as you put it. You leave me no other choice, Lord Koenma."

"You can't have wanted this," Koenma said suddenly. "You were never interested in him before. Something changed."

Botan nodded calmly.

"Yes Sir, something did change," she agreed. "I've come to see a side of Hiei that I never knew existed. I think because he was always so distant I never really understood him before, but now that I do, I also understand that I want to be a part of his life. I can't really explain it Sir, and I know you don't like it, but I've never been surer of anything. Ever. This is the right thing for me to do, it's something that I was meant to do. It's fate, Lord Koenma."

Koenma snorted and gave Botan a long, hard look as though he expected her to start laughing or surrender to his way of thinking.

"Fate?" he eventually said. "Why don't you ask your good friend, the guardian of fate, what she thinks about this?"

"I already have, Sir," Botan replied. "She said that life is like a river, flowing in one direction, and that we sail it as best we can, but, no matter what we do, we can't ever change the direction it takes us in."

"…And what do you suppose she meant by that?" Koenma asked.

"Well Sir, I suppose she meant that I could refuse Hiei's advances and spend the rest of my life alone and wondering or I could accept them and spend the rest of my life happy, or maybe you will be right and Hiei will leave me and I will be alone again. Either way, it seems I be as well stick my oar in the water and give it a try, because I have nothing to lose and rather a lot to gain."

"Interesting…"

"But that's a very cold and clinical way to think about things, Lord Koenma. And what I have with Hiei is certainly not cold or clinical."

Koenma gave a long sigh before answering.

"You're telling me that the river of your life merges with the river of Hiei's life, and whether it happens now, with my consent, or some time later without my consent, it's going to happen anyway," he said. "Which, I must say, is the most interesting interpretation of fate I've ever heard."

"Those were your words, Sir, not mine," Botan pointed out.

Koenma nodded.

"Botan I care about you as more than a colleague and friend, and I want you to be happy," he said. "But I can't agree with this. I'm sorry."

Botan nodded.

"I'm sorry too, Junior," she said. "Because I now have to go over your head."

There was a long silence then and Hiei wondered if the video was stuck on pause, as nothing was moving on the screen. Eventually the moment ended when Koenma gave a small frown, and Hiei was sure that the prince was about to try to change Botan's mind again: but what he did say made Hiei laugh out loud.

"Did you just call me "Junior"?"


Next Chapter: More strange moments of déjà vu convince Hiei that he is inheriting traits and memories of that other Hiei – is it just a merge or is he actually turning into that other Hiei? Kurama asks Hiei a question he had almost forgotten he knew the answer to and the meeting at Yusuke's tower is reconvened: until something unexpected interrupts it and throws everything into chaos. Chapter 29 – That Other Hiei