"Grant, sweetheart, we can't get anywhere if you refuse to talk. I know that it hurts, but you've got to push through it." Skye said softly, running her hand down Ward's back. "You've got to at least make some progress, a little's better than nothing at all."
"Grant, she's right." Dr. Garner, both Ward's new psychologist and May's ex-husband, said. Coulson had called Garner in to help with Ward since he was supposed to be the best of the best. But, Garner wasn't prepared to deal with a mentally-instable gifted. Ward was a whole other case than what he was used to.
"You don't have to talk a lot today, just a little. If I see that it's getting too much for you, I'll end the session. A little bit is better than nothing at all." he continued, trying to give Ward a comforting smile.
But all Ward did was stare off into nothing, his eyes slightly glazed-over. His skin was pale and clammy, and there was a visible shake to his body. Skye took his hand and gave it a light squeeze, but didn't say anything.
"Just tell me, why do you think that you should die?" Garner continued, closely watching Ward's body language. "Why do you feel this way?"
Ward's lips parted slightly and all that came out was a croak, "Because I am a monster. Monsters don't deserve to live."
Garner nodded slowly to show that he was listening, "And why do you think this?" he asked. "The others don't think so, they all say that you're a great guy." He didn't mention the others' fears of him, but those fears were logical. And he especially didn't mention what Lincoln had to say about him. "Why do you believe that you are a monster?"
Ward continued to stare off into space, "I cause nothing but destruction. I've killed too many people to count, and I don't even remember it. There are flashes of screams and death in my mind. I don't remember who these people are, but I know that I've killed them." His voice was low and rough, full of pure exhaustion.
"But the others say that wasn't you, that you slipped away right after Skye here disappeared." Garner continued, scribbling down a few notes. "They could all tell that it wasn't you. Coulson claims that was the curse that holds you down. I don't see how you are at fault here when you weren't even in control of your own body. There's no reason to believe that you were responsible for what happened between the time of Skye's disappearance and Skye's rescue. So if this is the case, then why are you blaming yourself so?"
The glaze on Ward's eyes started to grow heavier, he was starting to shut down. Skye noticed that he would do this when he didn't want to face a problem. His 'shutting down' was actually him disassociating and cutting away from reality. He didn't want to face his traumas, so he ran mentally from them.
"Grant, I know this is painful for you, but you've got to try and stay with me." Garner said in a calm and reassuring voice. "There are things that you're going to face that are going to hurt, but it's only bumps in the road to recovery. Now, I'll ask again. Why are you blaming yourself?"
Ward's head shook, "I don't know." he croaked, his voice like that of a small child's. "It feels right. I feel responsible. I got Skye hurt because I can't control what I am. I am a monster."
"You can't help what you were born to, Grant." Garner continued, casting a worried glance at Skye. "You can't help your 'curse' no more than Skye can help her Inhuman genetics. Your genetics are powered, that's all. You can't help a powerful and dangerous force runs in your veins. And you cannot help what that does to you. These things are beyond your control.
You do not need to blame yourself for things that are out of your grasp. Focus on yourself, learn to control your powers, do thing that make you happy." he paused. "Grant, what makes you happy?"
Ward remained silent, he honestly didn't know what to say. He'd never thought of that one question. He knew that he had a special fondness for dogs and he did love reading. But it was hard to figure out beyond that point. His throat started to grow dry and he was finding hard to breathe. His body began to shake as he couldn't figure things out. He saw his knees meeting his eyes as he curled up into a ball, trying to escape the question. He didn't know, he just didn't know.
And he didn't even feel as Skye placed her hand on his back, trying to break him out of it. "Grant, babe, are you okay?" she asked softly, taking his hand. She tugged lightly at it to get his attention, "Can you hear me?"
Her voice pulled at him and he looked up, tears staining his face and the red fire shining in his eyes. Skye smiled at him and he actually smiled back at her, even though it was a pained and weak smile. This gave Garner an idea.
"Grant, is it Skye that makes you happy?" he asked quietly, writing down a few more notes. "Is it?"
Ward found himself nodding, even though weakly and tiredly. He just wanted this to be over with. He just wanted to go to bed and curl up in the sheets, hiding away from everything else. But he didn't give a verbal response though. He remained silent, but still nodded.
"So Skye makes you happy. Do you see her as maybe your lifeline? The only reason that you may actually want to stay on this world? What do you see in her?"
Skye looked at Ward, wondering of his answer. She wondered that too. Just what did he see in her? She was nothing special, but he acted like she was his everything. She had been the one person that he had actually fallen in love with, head over heels at that. What had he seen in her?
Ward's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, despite his dried-out throat. He shrugged slightly, "I don't know." he muttered. "She just made me feel safe, like… Like not everyone hated me. I knew that she was actually someone that I could trust, someone that wouldn't hurt me. There was something about her that would calm me. I… I don't know."
Garner nodded, "You see her as a beacon in your current storm. Something that you can attach yourself to as you're spiraling down to keep you from reaching the very bottom. It's not common for people while going through bad times to find that one person that they can trust and attach themselves to them. This said person helps them feel better and can help the recovery process."
Skye blinked, "So you're saying that I'm what could possibly help him?"
"Yes, basically. A person tends to heal more when they are helped by someone that they actually like. I'm practically a stranger to Ward, but you're far from so. Skye, you're his girlfriend, you already love each other. So this isn't a hard thing, you help him without even realizing it, I think." Garner explained, setting aside his notepad. "Now, there's other things that Grant does need other than your companionship. He does need medicine and other things to help keep his symptoms at bay." Garner looked over to Ward, who had nuzzled himself into Skye's side. But he could tell that Ward had blocked everything out, since he kept his eyes on Skye's legs.
"Look, this is a good stepping stone. I do see recovery in his future. He can get over this. He's got someone that loves him dearly and friends that are more than willing to help him, that's a very good thing. That will definitely speed up his healing process from this trauma." he continued. "He can get past this and be as close to mentally healthy as he can be."
Skye looked over to Ward, running a hand carefully down his leg, "So he's going to get better?" she asked. "That's a possibility?"
"It's not just a possibility, I believe that it's a given fact. Grant here will get better, no matter how bad it seems right now. Give it a while with some good TLC and meds, he'll be normal functioning again. He will get better."
Author's Note: I don't own AoS, Marvel does. So not much left now, just have to figure out the perfect ending so I won't disappoint. Still figuring it out. Keep reading and PLEASE favorite, follow, and/or review! ~AwakeAndAliveSpartan.
