Bloodlust

AN: Sorry…been busy!

Buffy's POV

"You okay?"

I looked at Kennedy's worried face. I could only nod at her question too confused to answer back. That and my neck is kinda sore. Why wouldn't it be when I was just strangled by a slayer. A slayer named Faith…

Kennedy took Mika from me who I didn't realized was crying until I heard Kennedy trying to calm her. I sat down caressing my neck which I know will have a mark on them. Faith was strangling me pretty hard. Hard enough for her to…kill me…

"Is Faith really like that? I mean…in this time?"

"No…"

My voice hoarse as I answered her.

"I'm finding that hard to believe…"

I quickly stood up and slammed my hand on the table which surprised her. I was even surprised myself by my action…but I kept my voice steady trying to make her realize that she was wrong.

"She's not like that anymore! She's changed!"

"A changed person wouldn't do that to you…you know…"

I glared at her.

"She didn't mean that! Something…something must be wrong…"

Faith isn't like that anymore. That Faith earlier is nothing like the Faith that's been living in our house for the past few weeks. She's not the Faith that Mika keeps calling dada. Not the Faith that redeemed herself. Not the Faith that Julia liked. Not the Faith that I…

'It's always my blood spilling because of you. You always hurt me.'

I…I've hurt her? I've always hurt her? No…She…she's changed…she wouldn't mean those things she did…or the things she said. I wouldn't hurt her…I would never hurt her. She means so much to me…

'You always hurt me.'

But…I've hurt her…

"Well…let's do hope that whatever is happening to her is curable…or else…we might end up fighting her…and we really don't need another enemy…"

No…I won't hurt her. I can't…I just can't…

I looked at Kennedy as she laid her hand on my shoulder.

"We'd better tell the others what happened so we could find out what's happening to Faith…"

I nodded my head and looked away. Although what she said was right…I couldn't let her see that I was somewhat scared of their reaction. Scared that they might hate Faith once again because she went strangling girl on me. I don't want them to hate her again when they've only started trusting her.

But what really scared me is the thought of Faith being our enemy again. I don't want to go through yet again another death match with her. I never wanted to go through that again. I don't want to hurt her…more importantly…I don't want to loose her…

Faith's POV

I…I did that to Buffy. Why…why did I do that? I'm not like that anymore…not anymore…

'You'll always be daddy's little girl…right my firecracker?'

'Always!'

Firecracker…firecrackers are dangerous when lit and you get close to them. They might hurt you…or worse…kill you. I'm a firecracker…a firecracker…

'Nobody will love you! You're just a trash!'

'That's not true! Daddy loves me! He said so!'

Love? Do I need love? It's just a useless feeling. People just want love so that they could feel that they are wanted. To be wanted by someone…it's full of crap. But…why do I always crave it then? Why do I want people to want me?

'I'm sorry Faith…I have to do this…alone…'

'B-But…you can't leave me! I'll be all alone…'

But…no matter how much I want someone to want me…to love me even…in the end…I'm always alone. People I care about either leaves or dies…leaving me all alone…feeling the world getting heavier…

'I just want to be your friend!'

'Newsflash…I don't need friends…'

Nobody sticks with me…so why need friends? I don't need people to be kind to me just coz they pity me. I don't need their pity. And I don't want to get hurt again whenever someone close to me leaves or dies. I don't need them…

'You don't understand! You killed a man!'

'No…YOU don't understand…I don't care…'

I do care…I just don't want to care…so that they'd leave me alone…and that they won't get hurt because of me…

'Do you feel it? The darkness that's inside of you? It's always there…no matter what good you do…'

No…No…make it stop!

Buffy's POV

We called up everyone and told them we'd meet up at the Magic Box for an emergency meeting. When I said everyone…I meant everyone. Present and future combined. I thought it was going to be weird at first what with the doubles and all. But it wasn't. It's like…they were old friends or something. There was no awkwardness inside the room. Except for the fact that future Xander keeps on looking at Anya which also is the same with future Willow looking at Tara. And let's not forget my awkwardness towards my future self.

Nonetheless everything was normal. Though I did feel a tense moment when Giles asked about Faith's death. Kennedy told them everything after silently asking future me for permission. She didn't nod though…she just simply looked down at the floor looking hurt and in pain. She looked all alone…even though her future gang was beside her comforting her. The pain of loosing someone you love so dearly must be very painful…I never want to experience that…

I somehow…felt her pain when I heard Kennedy telling Faith how she died earlier. I know it wasn't painful as hers…still hearing about it…I felt an ache in my chest. Somehow something told me that I shouldn't listen…but I couldn't move and just ended up listening to them. It hurts…but somehow…it also motivated me to protect Faith even more so that I could prevent it from happening…

"Hm…fascinating…I've never heard of a slayer that can use magic before…and the dark arts nonetheless…it's amazing how she can somehow control it…"

Giles said as he cleaned his glasses. She looked at the future Willow frowning.

"How can she control it? Once you took hold of that much power…"

"You'll get addicted to it…and it will consume you. I should know…I was consumed by it…"

Future Willow sighed and glanced at Tara again. Tara was frowning as she looked at future Willow. I guess she doesn't like the idea of Willow using the dark arts or something. Our Willow just looked confused though.

"You…You were…"

"Y-yes…I was."

Giles looked at her shocked which confused me.

"How is that a great witch like you…couldn't control this…dark arts…and Faith could?"

No offense to Faith but…when you think about it, Willow has more experience in witchy stuff than Faith. So how could…?

"I think Faith realized something that even I didn't when it comes to the dark arts."

"And that is?"

"Feelings…the dark arts can be controlled by the spellcasters feelings. I was consumed by hate when I give in to the dark arts. That was when…"

When what? Again a glance at Tara. I think I'm beginning to see what happened here. I'm not sure…but I'm getting the picture here…

"Anyway…that was the difference between Faith and I. I guess somehow…she controlled the dark arts within herself. She consumed the darkness rather than the darkness consumes her…"

"Y-you guess? You didn't know that she was fighting something that could consume her very being?"

"W-well…no…we didn't…know…"

"And why is that?"

I was angry…not at Willow…but at my future self. She's Faith's wife right? She should know what's happening to her! She should have been aware. I stared at her frowning and she instantly looked up at me and met my gaze. We were challenging each other…

"If you're indicating that it was my fault…maybe you should also say that to yourself. I am you in the future…"

Ouch…

"Yeah? Well…I'm nothing like you. I won't do that to Faith."

Nice comeback Buffy…in case you didn't hear…she's you.

"So you say…but you did…we did."

I was about to say something again when Dawn stopped me…

"Cut it out! Both of you wasn't at fault! It was my fault!"

All eyes were at her. She sighed and looked at the future me looking all sorry.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you…but Faith asked me for help at that time."

Future me just looked at her confused and somewhat…hurt.

"It's not just Dawn…I helped too…"

Future Xander said as he stood by Dawn somewhat trying to protect her. I couldn't believe I wanted to somehow comfort my future self as she looked at both of them. But I think they need to get it all out…just so the hurt would get out too…

"It was when Faith told you that she was going to Boston for a visit. She didn't go to Boston…rather she was just in an abandon warehouse by the docks in Cleveland. She told us about her plan and we were trying to talk her out of it. But she still went through with it."

Flashback

"It's too dangerous! If something happens to you Buffy will kill you…and us."

"It's for the best. I need this power in order to protect them…especially Mika. Besides…B won't kill you. Maybe me…but not you guys…"

"That's not the point! It's…argh! Xander tell her the point!"

Both looked at Xander.

"The point? It's dangerous."

Dawn nodded and Faith just grinned.

"I know it's dangerous…that's why I'm asking for both your help. And I've done my research regarding this…so it won't be a biggie…"

"It will be a biggie if you loose yourself like Willow did in the past! What would we do then if you turn all veiny and all hell bent on destroying the world?"

Faith shrugged.

"Run and tell Buffy everything?"

"Thus the killing part!"

Faith sighed and laid her right hand on Dawn's shoulder and the other on Xanders who seems to be frowning.

"Everything will be fine. I'll be fine. But Mika won't be if I don't do this. Buffy and Mika are my everything…and I don't plan on loosing them anytime soon. So please…let me do this…"

Both Dawn and Xander looked at each other unable to say anything to stop the brunette from doing something dangerous…

End of Flashback

"She made up her mind…and it's hard for both of us to stop her. She told us that she might be in a coma for a few days and all we have to do was watch her and check if she was fine from time to time. So she did the ritual…and we just watched…but…"

There were now tears in her eyes as she relieved what happened. Xander wrapped his arm in her shoulder trying to comfort her.

"It was just after a couple of hours that she began having nightmares and there were bruises on her arm that weren't there before. We patched up the bruises but then another one appears…then another…and another. It just…keeps appearing and we kept her from bleeding too much. But it keeps on appearing from different parts of her body…"

Dawn was crying now…and Xander was comforting her. He was the one who told the rest....

"She was bleeding too much in a day…somehow her being a slayer helps what with her slayer healing. But then…when day two came…the bruises were getting bigger. She would scream in pain…and all we could do was patch her up. And when day three came…

Flashback

"Oh God…I don't think she can take anymore of this…we…we have to do something…"

Faith groaned clutching her stomach as it began to bleed again. Dawn quickly put a cloth on it trying to lessen the bleeding. She looked at Xander who was looking at Faith. They had taken off her shirt and pants leaving her only in her bra and panties. Her beautiful body…now covered in bruises and bandages.

He gripped his hands and stood up as he heard another groan.

"She won't…she won't make it. I'm going to tell Buffy and the others."

He quickly ran towards the exit. He took hold of the door knob and was about to turn it when he felt a strong hand on his wrist…making him stop. He looked at the hand and noticed the bruises on it. Slowly he looked at the person holding him knowing exactly who it is…but not quite believing it. It was when he looked at her fiery eyes that he believed…

"I don't think…that's necessary…"

"Faith…"

She grinned and he couldn't help but smile. But then the strong hand that was holding his wrist was loosening and the owner of it was slowly falling forward. He caught her as she passed out. And in that instant when he felt her breathing was steady he knew that everything was going to be alright…

End of flashback

Faith's POV

'Do you feel it? The darkness that's inside of you? It's always there…no matter what good you do…'

I clutched my head trying to make the voice stop…but it wouldn't. It's like…I'm going crazy…and I can't…stop…

"Are you…okay?"

I couldn't help but froze when I heard that voice. Slowly I turned towards her and stared at her…my eyes wide…and she's just…looking at me all worried.

Oh God…Julie?

Buffy's POV

I don't know whom I should get mad at…

Dawn and Xander for not telling the future me what Faith was planning…

The future me for not knowing what was happening to Faith…

Or Faith for not telling the future me everything…

It's all so very confusing…

"Hmm…so Faith must've had a slayer dream about Mika being in danger…am I correct?"

Giles asked trying to cut off the awkward silence. Future Willow glanced at him and nodded her head. Immediately she turned back her attention towards her future friends who was still silently looking at the floor. Are they going to keep doing that?

Apparently not because future me looked at Dawn and frowned looking hurt and angry.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry…I…I promised Faith that I…"

"You promised Faith?! I'm your fucking sister Dawn! You should have told me."

She's right. Dawn should have…wait…sister?? What the hell is she talking about????

"I…I'm sorry…"

"Whoa! Time out!"

I said as I raised my hand frowning. Future me looked at me frowning as Dawn continues to look at the floor.

"I just want to clarify what you said there about you and Dawn…that you are…sisters???"

Everyone was looking shocked and confused as I am. Well…everyone except the future Scooby. I mean…I have a sister. A sister who looks about 2-3 years younger than me…so shouldn't she be here with me already? Unless…Oh God…

"Did mom or dad…had another child besides me? Is Dawn my half sister? Is that why I haven't met her yet?"

Future me sighed looking like she's tired and all.

"No…no half sister. Just a mystical key…"

"A key?"

She nodded and I was ten times confused as before. What does a mystical key have to do with anything? Does it really matter? You shouldn't dwell on that now! That wouldn't help Faith. I should focus on Faith first.

"Nevermind…I'll ask later. We need to focus on Faith first."

Faith's POV

"Uhm…are y-you okay?"

She's looking down at me and in that instant I just realized that I was on the ground sitting as I lean at a tree. I frowned and looked past her. I'm at the hospital. What the fuck am I doing here?

"Miss?"

I turned to look at her again and noticed she's still wearing hospital clothes. I guess she just went out for a fresh air or something. I noticed the small bruises on her face. We healed her a little bit especially her stab wound on her stomach. She's looking good and what's with the miss? Oh right…how could I forget the memory spell Red did…really isn't the point here….

I slowly stood up stumbling a bit and she caught me by my arm. I pulled my arm away from her and she looked surprised and scared. I glared at her.

"Didn't anybody tell ya you shouldn't talk to strangers?"

I slowly walked away feeling her eyes on my back.

"W-well…someone told me that we should help those in need."

I stopped walking and still kept my back to her.

"Well that's stupid. You shouldn't put yourself in danger for some stranger."

With that I continue walking. I just glanced back when I heard her grandmother call her. She gave me a small smile and then turned her attention to Julie who was now heading back to the hospital. It was good seeing them again…but I needed to get away from her as fast as I can. I don't want to involve her anymore. So I didn't look back anymore.

I kept walking even though I felt tired. I don't know why I felt tired. Something is clearly wrong with me. It feels like…something is inside me…that I can't control. Is that the reason why I did that to B? I looked at my hands noticing them tremble.

I did that to B. I almost killed her again. And I felt that…I enjoyed it…

'Do you feel it? The darkness that's inside of you? It's always there…no matter what good you do…'

I couldn't help but clutch my head. It's the voice again. Angel's voice. Why the hell wouldn't it stop? Why the hell am I remembering all the fucked up things I did? WHY?

I stopped walking as I felt my heart beat strong. Just a beat made me stop. Goosebumps form in my arms. I've never felt this before. This feeling like I'm about to loose myself. This uneasy feeling.

What the hell is happening to me?

"Why hello there Faith. Fancy seeing you here…"

And then I'm surrounded by 6 men. To my front…the side…and the back. The one who spoke had an accent. An English accent. I glared at them knowing who they are.

"If you don't want to die…I suggest you get the fuck out of here…"

I wasn't kidding. I can feel my blood boiling. Like it wants blood. Their blood. The men on my side stepped back as I glared at them. I guess they knew I wasn't kidding…

"Still about killing eh Faith? Bad habit?"

I turned my attention back to the guy in front of me. He must be the leader of this bunch. Maybe I should spill his blood first. I grinned at him.

"Maybe I should show you first about this bad habit of mine."

He's still smiling. But I can tell he's scared. I can smell it.

We stared for awhile and I saw him look at the person behind me. I heard it. That person reaching for his coat…probably retrieving a gun. In an instant I turned to attack him before he shoots me. He looks terrified when he saw me as he was reaching for his coat. We were like in a slow motion. I was surprised by the power I felt inside me and also the urge to make someone bleed. This bloodlust is clearly something I've felt before back in the days I was crazy. But somehow it's also different. It's much powerful now than before…and I can't stop it.

I was about to get him…ready to spill his blood…but stopped inches from his neck when I felt someone shot me from behind.

I heard him reach for his coat too…but I was so focused on spilling the other guys blood that I didn't move away or even attack him. I looked at where he shot me. It was a tranquilizer gun. I removed the needle on my shoulder and laughed. I'm clearly not in my usual state…but I couldn't help it.

"You think you can contain me with this piece of crap? I'm a slayer…"

With that I punched the guy who shot me in the jaw. He was down in a second. The others were coming to attack me but I beat up most of them enjoying the sound of broken bones and blood spilling as I did so. Only one left that was standing…the leader. He looks scared…and was thinking of running. I grabbed him by the collar and was about to punch the hell out of him when I felt dizzy.

"T-the hell?"

I let go of him and kneeled down the ground. I was getting weaker. The power that I felt…it's getting weaker. He took noticed and kicked me on the face. I didn't go down. I just grinned at him feeling my eyes closing…

"You…gonna…pay…f-for that…"

And then I was down. I was half conscious and I can't move. I can hear them talking though…

"Bitch is crazy! And what the hell is with her eyes?"

What about my eyes?

"Maybe we should kill her now."

Yeah…you should kill me…make me stop…

"No. Our order is to capture her. Not kill her. Get her inside the truck..."

No…just kill me…now…before I completely loose it…

And I did loose it…my consciousness that is…

Buffy's POV

"So…you're saying that…Faith might be controlled by someone…like Angel and that was the reason why she strangle you almost to death…is that right?"

I nodded.

"I know it's hard to believe…but…"

"Actually Buffy…it isn't hard to believe…what with everything that's happening…"

Giles said as he cleans his glasses. He's right though. Everything that's happening is hard to believe…but at the same time…it's not. This is the hellmouth so anything's possible.

"And if that is the case…we should find Faith immediately before—"

"Hey Giles…phone for you. It's Spike."

I frowned. I was so focused on the discussion going on that I didn't hear the phone ring. And what's this about Spike calling? Since when is he allowed to call here? Giles didn't seem bothered as he excused himself and went to the counter where the phone is.

"So…I guess we should find Faith. Any ideas people?"

I looked at future me hoping that she has ideas as to where is Faith. She should know her better. She is her wife! God I can't believe I'm jealous of myself…

"W-well…we could d-do a locator spell…"

Tara said as she looked at everyone.

"Yes…I think we should do that immediately…"

Everyone turned to Giles. Wow his little chat with Spike ended so soon? And here I thought they might take awhile. Guess William isn't the chatting type…or maybe it's Giles…

He sighed. He looks worried…

"Spike called. I asked him to call as soon as he finds out about anything…and he did…"

I frowned not really sure why he's trusting Spike and at the same time not understanding what that anything is…

"The council's men…are in Sunnydale…"

TBC