Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Ground.
-Rachel: Day 8 of the Hunger Games-
My eyes sliced the darkness, and the world presented me with a magnificent view: perfect red roses making a bed for their queen with the sunrise illuminated the throne. After such a gift, I didn't want to go back to sleep. Around me the flowers stood like towers. Was I small or were they just that large? It didn't matter to me. Blissfully, I rose from the ground, my head breaching the bubble of glorious aroma the roses emitted.
As I took my first breath in this new world, things seemed a lot less calm. The sweet scent of the flowers still persisted, but the fresh air dampened its effect, clearing out my mind of the pink fog.
I put my hand on my head. "Which way…Which way…Where am I? What am I doing here?" I tried to remember what happened. "Well, I was fighting with Katlyn. She won I think. Then…" My memories trailed off into the fog. I took another breath, and my mind opened a little more. "And then…"
Darkness. Fog. Red. Noises. Fog. Matt's voice. "…come back. Come on, come back to me…"
The fog lost its intensity; I was beginning to feel a bit more like myself. "Oh yeah. I think Matt and Zach picked me up. Why the hell did they just leave me here then? Why can't remember anything. What's the answer?"
"Do you mean you that think you can find out an answer to it?"
"Exactly so." I was sure that there was answer no matter what she says…wait, who- "The hell are you?" I screamed.
In front of me, a familiar girl smiled and bounced back and forth, way too excited and bubbly. She was about my height, with brown hair. I had seen her before.
She opened her lips to speak to me, but her gaze was cast in no direction in particular. "I'm just a talking flower."
What the hell does that mean?
She seemed to have responded to my thoughts. "I haven't the slightest idea." She smiled, lightly bouncing up and down.
I screamed again. I wasn't going to put up with absurdity any longer. I slipped the pocket knife from its hiding place. Weird. It already had a thin covering of dried blood. Whatever; it would still work perfectly as a way to shut this girl up.
With the girl's back turned towards me, I dove at her, positioning the knife directly into her neck. I braced myself for the weight of her body.
And, I slipped right through her and fell on my face. I flipped upwards to see her staring down at me.
She bent down to my face. "Hahahahahahaha! As if. Do you really think you're going to get rid of me that easily?"
I ignored her and jabbed at her feet and ankles. My dried blood coated knife phased through her body, like it was made of fumes. Jumping to my feet, I made on last effort to stab her in her chest. As the blade dove into the emptiness though her heart, I remembered something more: Zach's voice "Rachel, please stop…" I heeded his suggestion for my memories; apparently this was pointless.
This girl walked away; she just didn't get the point of the all the stabbing. She called back to me, "Yeah, The Dormouse is right. You should just stop. Aren't I just a mystery?"
Dormouse? Wait, can you hear my thoughts?
She turned to me and giggled. "Can I? That would be just absurd, wouldn't it?"
What's going on? "What's your name, child? Explain yourself!" I pocketed my knife and walked up to her. Again, I tried to touch her, but my hands simply went through.
"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, ma'am," she said, "because, I'm not myself, you see." She giggled at her stupid pretentious attempts at confusing me.
I stomped my foot. "I'm ordering you! Speak English, and tell me who you are and what is going on."
"You ruin all the fun, you know that? And, anyway, I told you, I'm not myself. So, then who am I?"
I examined her. She was familiar. Brown hair, eyes. Freckled around her face. But, she seemed like she was from entirely…another story. "Are you Katy?"
She looked down at herself as if she was checking out a new outfit. "Am I?"
"Yes, you are Katy. I saw you die in the opening of the games, and yet here you are."
She shrugged. "I guess I am."
"Are you a ghost? A projection? Hallucination?"
"All of the above? None of the above? I don't know." She laughed.
The next few hours were pretty much the same. Roses were everywhere. Wherever I walked, she followed. Whenever I told her off, she laughed. However hard I tried to ignore her; she tried her best to relentlessly annoy me.
"Hey, I heard that. I'm not trying to annoy you. I'm just having some fun. Is it that bad to be excited about life?" Arms outstretched, Katy traced my footsteps exactly.
"Shut up." There had to be some water around her somewhere.
"There's a small creek to our left. Can't you hear it?"
As soon as she said it, I realized that the faint noise of the creek was there, just tuned out by my subconscious. "Yeah. I'm just really thirsty."
Another memory appeared, Zach call out to Matt, "here, get her some water…" I strained myself to recall anything else, but nothing came.
Katy appeared over my shoulder. "You know The Dormouse really looks after you."
"This is why you're annoying. What do you mean The Dormouse?" I located the stream and sat next to it.
She shrugged. "They're just names I give. They don't mean anything."
I guess I was really bored, because I played her little game. "Fine. What's my name then?"
She giggled. "Tweedledum comes to mind for some reason. But, I think the Queen of Hearts fits better, don't you think?"
"And, why is that?"
She pointed to my ginger hair. I recalled an image; a memory of searing fire surrounding me and two boys pulling me out of it.
I shook my head. "Very funny. Does everyone else get a name?" I bent down and scooped some water in my mouth.
She clapped her hands. "Oh frabjous day! This is fun. Well, let's see. Evan is the Caterpillar."
Another image: Evan's sitting next to me, mending my wounds.
"Katlyn would be Alice, I guess."
Katlyn is pointing her blade to the center of my face.
"Chau would be the White Rabbit."
Chau stands up for me. He takes the blade from Katlyn. Smiles at me. "It's going to be okay." A lance pierces his chest.
"I said that Zach is The Dormouse."
Zach rushes up to me and drags me from the fire.
"I'm undecided on Matt. Is he the White Knight or the Jabberwock?"
Matt wakes me up. "Rachel, are you okay? You've been unconscious all day."
"As for the other three left…"
I scream. "Stop." I tried to process all of this. "Just please stop."
She smiles coyly, like she took pleasure in what I am experiencing. "What, am I just that creative? Can you not handle my amazingness?"
I sat down against a nearby tree and crushed more roses under me. All the event of that day came back to me. "Everything is burning. Chau and Evan are dead. They saved me, and now they're dead. This is all my fault."
Katy sat down next me, crushing nothing beneath her. "I don't think so. You made a mistake, yeah, but it was a misunderstanding that killed them. It wasn't your fault."
"It was Zach who killed him, right?" I felt like I was rehearsing a script, like I had said all of this before. Anger welled up within me, directed towards Zach, but I let it go as quickly as it came.
From her place beside me, Katy disappeared, reappearing on the bank of the stream. Her head turned to me, eye imploring. "So, what to do now?"
I looked down. "There's still something I'm forgetting. But…"
Katy smiled. "But?"
"I might as well go and find Zach and Matt."
Katy bent down and her hand reached towards a rose. Both her fingers came to together to pluck the green stem, but the rose remained unmoved. As she rose up, an identical flower appeared in her hand. She brought the rose up to her face and inhaled it.
"What about all these roses? It's all about as curious as it can be. Yet, you don't seem curious at all. Curiosity is the strongest force in the universe, you know."
I looked down at all the roses around me. Each seemed perfectly crafted in beauty and elegance. She was right, though, I hadn't really wondered why they had shown up everywhere.
"I don't know. My mind's been a little slow I guess." Kate put the flower to her face once again and I seemed to savor the smell. "Didn't you say that you were a talking flower? What does that mean? Why are you here?"
"Did I say that? It's so hard to keep track of things. Under the curve of reality there are an infinite amount of memories, if you put that infinity and add it all together then maybe you could find the whole, I suppose."
I crushed another rose beneath my foot. I obviously wasn't getting any answers out of her. "I have no idea what you just said."
Kate shrugged. "Neither do I then."
"Whatever." I took the blade from my pocket cleaned the blood off it; I don't remember using in the battle with Katlyn. I must have been my blood on it. I washed it off along with the blood stains on my clothing. Just about everything seemed to be dyed red. Even the roses were the blood of the ground.
Katy plucked up behind me. "Well, where will we find them?"
"Find who?" I took a second to process. "Oh Zach and Matt. They should be in center of the arena with the Cornucopia. It's west from here, I think." I collected my things, took a final sip, and started to head in the direction of the center. As I finished, I hear a rustle in the distance.
I turn to Katy. "Was that you?"
She shrugged. "Must have been."
"Whatever."
Within a few more hours, we were within a mile of the Cornucopia. Around me, the fire has ripped through the landscape. With the ground char, the roses struggle to take root. Compared to the lush field I awoke in, they were a measly garden. Like I came to expect, Katy dogged after me. Doesn't this girl have any other friends to stalk?
Kate appeared in front me, trying blocking my path with her incorporeal body."Don't you feel guilty going back to Zach and Matt?"
I calmly walked through her. "I'm not one to feel guilty and even if I was, why should I?"
"Well for starters, you're a really rather rude to them."
I stomped on a fledgling tree in my way."Don't judge me. I don't mean anything by it."
Kate admired my work and quickly followed after me. "But even then, what are you going to say to them once see you them again?"
I swallowed. "I'm...I'm going to apologize and hope they forgive me."
Kate smiled. "How curious."
I scoffed at her. "What? Is it that strange?"
Her smile only grew bigger. "Yes, I would say that it is. What brought about this change?"
"I've always been like this okay. Nothing changed." I looked up at the sky. Well, nothing big.
Katy leaned in. "Nothing big? So, something did change."
I swiped at her form. "Goddamit, stop that." The dull grey smoke of the fires still lingered in the sky, blocking out the force of the sun, obscuring what lay underneath. I turned back to Kate; she simply stared at me, waiting for a response. "Fine. Something did change." She gestured for me to continue. "Well," I started, "when I fought with Katlyn she didn't kill me…obviously. But, something of me died that night."
I paused; the ground was covered in shadows. "I never felt that vulnerable before; I always did my best to prevent that, but once I was opened, Chau came in. I learned that some people are okay to be trusted. I want to be able to trust Matt and Zach too." I felt a bit lighter.
Katy nodded silently with my confession, and once I was finished, she floated up to me. She brought her hand up to my head, and said, "This day just keeps becoming more interesting." Nearly transparent, her hand rose to my forehead and poked the center of it.
A rush of memories came flooding back to me.
I wake up, wounds stinging. Matt rubs my forehead and said, "Are you okay?" We talk. It breaks out into an argument. Lots of yelling. I run away. "…come back. Come on, come back to me…" I fall asleep.
Katy pulls her finger from my forehead and walks backwards. She seems to be getting more transparent, less real; around me, I noticed there are fewer roses, and I can't smell the aroma as much. "Is it all coming back to you then?"
I rub my temples. "Enough of it. It's still unconnected events, but I remember the gist of it."
"Good. Then, I think you'll find that we're here then." Confused, I pushed a branch out of the way. Kate gestures outward, presenting me with the Cornucopia.
It's basically a black pit. Everything we stored, everything we protected, everything we had in this world, burned to ashes. Not even the roses managed to penetrate the black. In the center of the castle of kindling, a single individual sat, head in his hands. His blonde hair was a lighthouse beacon in a sea of darkness. Matt!
I took a step into the dead circle, and the foliage crunched under my shoe but, otherwise there was complete silence. Matt still hadn't noticed us.
I turned to Katy, who sat quietly on a stump. Beside her, one last rose fought to survive in such harsh conditions. Oddly, I could see completely through her, like the last bit of smoke before it disappears. "Well, are you coming, then?"
Kate shook her head. "Nope. Can't go with you on this one. I wouldn't want to ruin your little tea party with Matt over there."
I was disappointed, but wasn't sure why. "Um...okay. Goodbye, then." I waved.
I took a breath, filling my lungs with fresh air; the first time they had been completely clear of the rose's scent. As I did so, Kate faded away until only her lips remained. They spoke one last thing before leaving: "Oh, we'll see each other again. You don't know the whole story yet."
Wait, what? "What do you mean-"I tried to cry out to her, but her lips formed a smile and completely disappeared.
I spun around to see Matt running towards me. "Rachel? Why are you here? Who are you talking to?" He sounded really angry, and where was Zach?
"Hey, Matt. I just-"
Matt pulled his sword from its sheath and waved it in my direction. He began yelling, every word seemed to hurt him. "What are you doing back here? Just leave me alone."
I began backing up. Did I really deserve this much hatred? "Look Matt. I know we got into an agreement, but-"
He caught up to me and held his sword inches from my chest. I got a good look at him. His usual perfect demeanor and clothing were in a tattered mess, and soot speckled his blonde hair. "Argument? You're calling it an argument? What is wrong with you?"
I batted the sword from my chest. "Hey! I'm just trying to tell you I'm sorry, and where's Zach?"
Matt glared at me, still indignant, but confused. "You selfish idiot, Rachel. You killed him."
Oh God.
-Rachel: Day 7 of the Hunger Games-
Matt wakes me up. "Rachel, are you okay? You've been unconscious all day."
I slowly come to. Everything is blurry and confusing. Matt rubs my head. "There you go. You've lost a lot of blood, so just keep it down, okay?" My eyes sting. I tried to open them a little more and see a thick black smoke and the orange of fire in the distance.
I meant to say, "Where's Zach?" but all that came out was a dry wisp of air. Thankfully, Matt seemed to understand.
"Zach? He's trying to find you something to eat and drink. This fire torched our stuff in the Cornucopia, and there's not much in the way wild animals in the area either." Matt left my field of vision and set me upon a blanket. I began to wiggle my fingers and toes; all of them were functional at least.
Matt came back to me with a small bottle, which he poured into my mouth. I expected to find cool water, and almost threw up when a viscous oil slide down my throat. I jumped up and started coughing. "What the hell was that?"
Matt smiled at me, mischievously. "Yeah, sorry about the olive oil. That's the only liquid we have. It's just to get you talking really. You didn't wake up all day. We were beginning to get a little freaked out."
A deep pit grew in my stomach. "Everything is burning. Chau and Evan are dead. They saved me, and now they're dead. This is all my fault."
Matt sat down next me. "I don't think so. You made a mistake, yeah, but it was a misunderstanding that killed them. It wasn't your fault."
"It was Zach who killed him, right?" Anger welled up within me, directed towards Zach.
Matt continued with trepidation. "Um, yeah, but…"
"They were good people. They saved me." I took the blanket off myself and tried to stand up. Dizziness took over and sent me tumbling. As I fell, Matt grabbed me.
"Whoa there." He grasped my arm. "Did you really say they saved you? Rachel, they were about to murder you."
I shook my head. "No. No. No. They wanted us to team up. What can the Capitol do to us if we work together?"
Matt smiled at me, unbelievingly. "Rachel…"
I pushed him off me, spreading my legs to be able to stand. Everything was still dizzy. "It would have been perfect, and…and…and Zach ruined it. He never thinks; he just does."
"Rachel-" As he was about to continue patronizing, footsteps resounded behind me. Zach appeared carrying a container of sloshing water.
Zach called out to Matt. "Here, get her some water. She's not thinking right."
I twirled around. "You! You ruined it."
His head shook. "Rachel. Please stop. Come on. We've been through this before. Seriously. I don't want to deal with this again from you."
Anger swelled up further, and I began to shout. "Take me seriously, damn it. Why did you have to just run in there not thinking like you always do?"
Evidently, he ran out of patience. Throwing down the bucket, he walked up to me. "I saved you!"
"They mended my wounds, see!" I pointed at the blood soaked bandages, still leaking.
Zach began to shout as well. Matt tried to interrupt, but Zach threw him off. "How was I supposed to know that? And anyway, don't you think I feel guilty about killing people too?"
"You can barely think at all, idiot." I smirked
"Rachel, you selfish brat. Shut up." To punctuate his sentence, he jabbed his finger into my chest. Slowly, I lowered my head until my vision lay on his grubby finger on my shirt.
"I told you before. Don't. Touch. Me." I snagged the pocket knife from my bra and, like a serpent's fang, struck him directly in the heart. Whipping it out of his chest produced a fountain of blood. I threw him off me, and my survival instincts took over, as I began to sprint away.
I heard both the body and Matt drop to the floor. Matt screamed. "Zach, come back. Come on, come back to me."
An hour of relentless running relentless later, I collapsed to the ground. A rose appeared in front of me, and I surrendered myself to its promise of forget.
-Rachel: Day 8 of the Hunger Games-
"Oh. God. I'm…I'm sorry. I just forgot. I…" I fell to the ground, tears dripped on my face.
He pushed the sword up to my neck. "You forgot? You dirty liar. Give me one reason why I shouldn't just greatly improve the quality of the world by killing you now."
I tried to think of a reason.
"Hey. Hey. Hey. What you doing, hurting a pretty girl like that?" A figure came into the dead circle. He was short.
Matt turned to me. "You led him here, then?"
I shook my head, spreading tears across the dead ground. "No, I-"
"Hey, I'm Jacob, and naw, she didn't know I was following her. Thankfully, she led me right to you, career." The short guy revealed a sword and pointed it towards Matt, who in turn pulled out his own weapon. "While these mind altering roses are great, they're not as good as coffee." He laughed. "It's been over a week, and I would like this whole game to be over with already. You could call me desperate, well desperate enough to give me a little extra strength. Enough to finish you off." As he finished his speech, Jacob dove at Matt, who braced to parry.
Both completely ignored me. So, I scrambled up and, once again, began to run away. Far away. Behind me, Jacob and Matt struggled against each other. Neither seemed to be losing or winning.
I heard Matt cry out in pain, but I kept running. Matt can deal with it by himself.
The scent of the roses once again filled my nose as I reached the living trees, and again Katy appeared in front of me.
"Can he now? It doesn't look like it. In fact, I think he is going to lose this one."
For some reason, I couldn't continue through her as I usually had. I simply froze in place.
"What are you doing to me?" I attempted to move my legs.
Katy shook her head. "You are rather thick, aren't you?"
Behind me, there were more yells. I shook my head. "Stop it. What are you talking about?"
Again, she smiled that same devilish smile, and shook her finger. "You keep asking me who I am. It seems obvious to me. The answer to this riddle? I am you." She said it like it was the simplest thing in the world.
"What?"
"Or at least a part of you…that you hate apparently. So, I ask this of myself: Why are you such an evil serpent, abandoning your friend like that?"
"I...I'm not" My mind stewed in thick cement.
"A likely story indeed," said Kate in a tone of deepest contempt. "Red Queen, you say you changed, but you have yet to do so. Well serpent, what do you have to say for yourself?"
I didn't understand any of this, but still I responded the best I could. I think this was the right answer: "But I'm not a serpent, I tell you! I'm a…I'm a…"
She shouted. "Well. What are you?"
I whispered. "I…I'm a little girl."
Kate smiled.
Was that all I was? I almost accepted it, almost believed it, but something within me grew.
It was the want to wipe the smile off her face. "Maybe I'm just a girl, but I'm not a serpent, I'm not evil, I'm not weak, I'm going to go back and help him, but most of all I'm tired of playing your games. So just, shut up!" Katy scowled, and after one last glance towards the rose, Katy disappeared for good.
I couldn't waste any time. I sprinted back to the dead circle. Jacob had beaten Matt back into the corpse of the Cornucopia.
Jacob's voice grew louder as I approached. "Well, career, after you, there's only five left. Maybe I can get this over with by tomorrow. I'll just-"
"Matt!" I readied the tiny pocket knife; a weapon that has done so much more harm than good so far. Sword outstretched, Jacob spun around and swung.
It just missed me. Cocky, he recovered and began to bounce back and forth. "What could you not wait for me?"
Frankly, I was done talking for today.
Matt jumped back to his feet and grabbed his fallen sword. Seeing the threat of both of us, Jacob backed off, but we wouldn't let him away that easily. In harmony, Matt and I advanced upon him.
Jacob's bloodstained eyes swiveled, looking for an opening. Apparently, he found one and back to swing towards Matt.
After all this, after all my adventure, I wouldn't let this happen.
I dove at Jacob, and the sword stopped nicely, lodged into my hip. A crimson red pulsed in my vision; I ignored it and the pain. I pulled the sword from my body, and turned it around on its owner.
With strength I didn't know I had, I took the vorpal blade and used it to kill its previous master. Off with his head.
Red everywhere and one cannon shot.
I collapsed to the ground. Matt came into my vision.
Red blood dripped from my mouth. "I'm sorry, Matt."
He brushed my fiery ginger hair out of my eyes. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too."
I smiled. It was a smile that seemed was too happy for the situation, it didn't really make sense. But then again, nothing made sense in here.
In this stupid Wonderland they created for us,
It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.
