Well, looks like I got one more :D Hope you guys enjoy
A New Man
"And this is absolutely necessary for my therapy?" Harry asked uncertainly, for possibly the millionth time.
Next to him, the slender blonde sighed and rolled his eyes. "Honestly Potter, anyone would think you didn't trust me."
"No. Imagine that" Harry deadpanned, causing Draco to smirk.
"Look, I get that it's…unorthodox. Nobody was more sceptical than I was, but this method worked wonders for me. I felt like a new man. It works like a charm, so stop being a wimpy little sod and trust me."
"Fine" Harry muttered. "Here goes nothing. You'll be right here, won't you?" He didn't think he could do this if Draco wasn't.
The blonde clapped his shoulder. "I wouldn't let you do it alone, Pothead. Now go and confront your demons and all that shite."
Harry smiled at his friend, took a deep breath and walked down the short distance to 4, Privet Drive. He stood out on the lawn, surveying the house of horrors for as long as he could. It was only when he caught Draco's eye again and was reassured of his presence, that he mustered up enough courage to ring the doorbell. His hand clutched around the parcel he was holding. For split second he reflected on how insane this was and then the door swung open to reveal the purple, aghast face of Vernon Dursley. "You!" he sputtered incoherently "What are you…how did you…"
"It's nice to see you too" Harry smirked. A nasty habit he'd picked up from Draco, but at least he looked more confident than he felt. "It's been a while, hasn't it? But I didn't come here for small talk, Uncle Vernon. I have a few things to say to you and I think it's about time I did."
He took a deep breath and let it all out.
"You, Vernon Dursley are an evil, horrible, narrow minded person with nothing of value to add to the world. I was an innocent child and you hated me for no fault of mine. You made me feel like a freak, a worthless piece of garbage. You lied to me about my parents. What's more, you probably still think you did nothing wrong. You are a sad, sick human being and I am glad to have nothing more to do with you."
Uncle Vernon just stared, his face still a fetching shade of vermillion and his lip curled in a sneer. "And just what are you going to do about it, boy?" he bellowed, spittle flying from his mouth. "Threaten me with that freakish hocus pocus of yours? Who do you think you…"
"Please" Harry cut in. "I hardly think threats are in order after all these years. I actually brought a present for you." He had already opened the parcel he'd been holding. Vernon's eyes widened as Harry revealed what he had brought.
"Thanks for nothing, Dursley!" he shouted. And with a resounding SPLAT he shoved the entire banana cream pie in Vernon Dursley's sodding fat face. He could feel, rather than hear Draco's resounding howl of laughter, mingled with Vernon's howls of sheer rage as he sputtered and swore and tried to shove whipped cream out of his eyes and ears. A few neighbours stopped and gaped and a passing group of kids burst into peals of laughter.
Harry laughed as well, amazed at the incredulity of it all. Then he turned his back on Privet Drive for the last time and walked away from his dessert laden relative, clapping the grinning blonde on the back
"You're right," he said with a grin "I do feel like a new man"
Draco was nearly doubled up with laughter. "So do I!" he managed "Merlin, that was brilliant!"
"You never told me though. Who did you shove a pie at?"
Draco shrugged and smirked again. "Let's just say Lucius and I are not on speaking terms any more. Now come on, Pothead. I like coffee with my pie"
Well, I'm not sure how funny it is.
I just really thought Vernon Dursley deserved a pie in the face.
Cheers! And reviews if you liked it, please!
